Horns85: Lexapro withdrawal

[bubble]

Thank you very much for updating and sharing your experience.

 

It's so hard to persuade people to reinstate and fail and then watch them suffer and things getting worse instead of better.

 

Just keep things slow. Once we arrive at the attitude you describe it gets easier.

[Horns85]

4 hours ago, bubble said:

Thank you very much for updating and sharing your experience.

 

It's so hard to persuade people to reinstate and fail and then watch them suffer and things getting worse instead of better.

 

Just keep things slow. Once we arrive at the attitude you describe it gets easier.

 

You’re welcome! The taper hasn’t been a breeze, but nothing compared to protracted WD. Tapering has at least lent itself to a pattern of symptoms and resolves itself within a few months so far. 

 

I was forthnate w/ my reinstatement and that it worked after a year off. Anyway, mindset is key and once you can accept the symptoms,  that’s half the battle! I’ll continue to update as move closer to 0.

[DaveB]

I have read through (lurked) on your thread and you have given me hope. I am also a father (3 amazing kids) and going through what may be withdrawal of Zoloft (or maybe a bad reaction to reinstatement). After reading your thread, I really wish I would have told my doctor who told me to switch from Zoloft 4 weeks into my reinstatement because it "wasn't working" to shove it. So much simpler when you just have one med you are working with. Anyway, thanks for the hope, though are paths are quite different, to see that you were once in a spot as bad as me and came out the other side gives me a LOT of hope, so again, THANK YOU for your story. 

[Horns85]

1 hour ago, DaveB said:

I have read through (lurked) on your thread and you have given me hope. I am also a father (3 amazing kids) and going through what may be withdrawal of Zoloft (or maybe a bad reaction to reinstatement). After reading your thread, I really wish I would have told my doctor who told me to switch from Zoloft 4 weeks into my reinstatement because it "wasn't working" to shove it. So much simpler when you just have one med you are working with. Anyway, thanks for the hope, though are paths are quite different, to see that you were once in a spot as bad as me and came out the other side gives me a LOT of hope, so again, THANK YOU for your story. 

 

So glad I could provide hope for you, Dave. When I was in the midst of WD hell, hope is all I wanted and couldn’t get enough it. 

 

My first 4-6 weeks after resintatment we’re not great, but I could feel a calmness and slowly it got better. After about 8 weeks things started to settle. Doctors do their best, but most have no clue about WD. I  had to listen to my body and make the best decision for myself and my family. I promise you will get better with time.

 

Im on my cell so I can’t see your med history, but I have no doubt w/ time and slow taper, you will be just fine. Consistency is key!

[Altostrata]

Good to hear your taper is going well, Horns. I agree with bubble, go slow. You might want to take a break from tapering for a couple of months, let your body get used to the changes.

 

Can you tell us how you got from reinstating 5mg Lexapro, where you had a bad reaction, to 10mg? There was a break of more than 4 months in your posts:

 

On 10/18/2015 at 10:06 AM, Horns85 said:

I took it for 4 days. Quit on Thursday. It actually did calm me and immediately lift my mood a little bit gave me bad burning skin sensation and insomnia.

 

On 3/2/2016 at 9:00 AM, Horns85 said:

Good Morning All,

 

Been a while. Unfortunately, I did reinstate back to 10mg of Lexapro. I have been back at this dosage for about 4.5 months now and feeling almost 100% for about 8 weeks now. My plan is to begin my taper down to 5mg over the next 6-8 months via 10% taper.

 

My doc wrote me another script for 5mg liquid. I began taking half of 10mg tablet and 5mg of liquid Lex two days ago and I feel kinda crappy. Can my body really tell the difference that I am taking half liquid? That seems crazy to me. I'll hold here for a week or so and see if it levels out before dropping the liquid to 4mg. Does this make sense to anyone?

 

On 3/26/2016 at 12:42 PM, Horns85 said:

Hey Lex,

 

How are you? Yes, I am fortunate it worked. Luckily, within about 2 weeks of being back at 10mg, about 70% of my symptoms were gone. The only symptom that still lingers a bit is the DP/DR and its much better.

 

I did seem to 'stabilize' on the combo of liquid and tablet.

 

Hope you are doing better. If you need anything, let me know!

 

[Horns85]

27 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Good to hear your taper is going well, Horns. I agree with bubble, go slow. You might want to take a break from tapering for a couple of months, let your body get used to the changes.

 

Can you tell us how you got from reinstating 5mg Lexapro, where you had a bad reaction, to 10mg? There was a break of more than 4 months in your posts:

 

 

 

 

Hi Alto!

 

I re-instated at 10mg, I believe I did try 5mg for a couple of days but then bumped 10mg in Late October of 2015. After about 8-10 weeks, mid-January of 2016 I was back to normal for the most part. Held there until March and switched to a 5mg tablet and 5ml liquid so that I could taper down the liquid until I reached just the 5mg tablet on 10/31/16. Held there for a little over 4 months and then began dissolving the 5mg tablet in 10ml of water and slowly tapering to where I am now. It's taken around 13 months to go from 5mg to 1.25mg.

 

My plan is to hold for at least 8-10 weeks and see where I am before lowering any further. All things considered, I feel pretty well!

[Altostrata]

Did you have any problems when you started 10mg?

[Horns85]

53 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Did you have any problems when you started 10mg?

Some interrupted sleep for a few days but felt about 50% better within a weeks time. Most symptoms had disappeared after about 6 weeks. At 8 weeks I felt almost back to normal.

[Horns85]

Taking notes:

 

This last cut in early November has been a little more difficult as I approach such a low dose. Weeks 4 & 5 of this reduction have produced some heavier WD symptoms, food sensitivities and anxious thoughts(plus DR). Taking them as they come, knowing they will pass and will most likely show up again in another wave. Keeping the right mindset is so important and not adding fear to the symptoms. TONS of water and healthy meals continue to help. I continue to exercise as I always have. Some days heavy exercise great and some days It can make me worse. I never know.

 

Will certainly hold for a while and assess how I feel in January.

[Horns85]

Taking notes:

Weeks 5-8 of 1mg have caused mostly gut issues. Constipation(sorry TMI), reflux and a general crappy/sluggish feeling. Mood is mostly good with a few anxiety bouts - but somewhat normal for me around the holidays. I'm drinking TONS of water to try and combat the bowel issues(some blood in stools from gut irritation and possible hemorrhoids from backup)Again, sorry for the TMI. Exercising as usual.

 

When I tapered too fast in 2014, my gut fell apart at about 4 months off and that's when all hell broke loose. I may try a small dose of probiotics and see if I can get some balance back in my system.

[Horns85]

Taking Notes :

 

Since hitting the 8 week mark at 1mg(currently 9 weeks at 1mg), I have noticed additional WD symptoms I experienced pre-reinstatement. My gut is coming back to normal but increased constant underlying anxiety, neuro-emotions, eye floaters, early waking and illogical dread are creeping back in. Like many, it seems that once I hit that 2 month mark, my body REALLY began to notice the dose adjustment.  Thankfully, I have dealt with this before and I am MUCH more equipped to handle it this time around. It's becoming clear that a LONG hold may be in order until the waves of this adjustment subside.

 

Happy healing to everyone!

 

-Horns

[LexAnger]

Hi Horns, 

 

just let you know you are in my thoughts. I was so happy for you for a success reinstate and a smooth taper down for the most part! 

 

Im sorry the journey suddenly turned tough at the low dose now. I hope it's a short episode for you and pass quickly forevermore! You sound confident which is very encouraging! I have been having the emotional spirals OCD and extreme anxiety since 2.5 months off. It is new to me as I never had much issue in this department before. What is your strategy to tackle the irrational emotional and anxiety?

 

lex

 

 

[Horns85]

17 hours ago, Longestroadhome said:

I find your thread very interesting. I am sorry that you had to re instate and go through withdrawal again but it sounds as though it worked in your favour. It must be good knowing that what you went through during protracted withdrawal was definitely caused by the withdrawal of lexapro. My own symptoms after a cut are much worse at the two month mark so I found what you shared quite encouraging. I have done big drops with long holds but must go much slower now as it really is harder at lower doses. Thank you for the encouraging thread!

 

You bet! My thoughts are with you as you reach these low doses! Take it slow and good luck!

[Horns85]

14 hours ago, LexAnger said:

Hi Horns, 

 

just let you know you are in my thoughts. I was so happy for you for a success reinstate and a smooth taper down for the most part! 

 

Im sorry the journey suddenly turned tough at the low dose now. I hope it's a short episode for you and pass quickly forevermore! You sound confident which is very encouraging! I have been having the emotional spirals OCD and extreme anxiety since 2.5 months off. It is new to me as I never had much issue in this department before. What is your strategy to tackle the irrational emotional and anxiety?

 

lex

 

 

 

Hi Lex! Congrats on being free! So sorry to hear what you're experiencing. Honestly, my strategy is pure acceptance, a healthy diet, continued exercise while listening to my body and taking it slow. During this taper I probably did cut too fast at times solely because I was tired of the weight gain side effect. That has got much better and now that I am at 1mg and certainly feeling this cuts effects, I will take it even slower.

 

I look at it like this, I did struggle with anxiety prior to taking meds, I'm wired that way. If I can learn acceptance and floating through WD anxiety(and the depression that comes with it), my body will heal over time and I can get through any anxiety I had prior to SSRI's. I have been able to adopt this mindset and you should too!

 

You will make it through this, Lex. You did a slow taper, your body is still healing and in short time, you will come out on the other side better than ever!

[Horns85]

Note : It has certainly been a stressful couple of weeks with work and life. Though stressful and anxiety inducing, I have been surprised at my ability to handle it and work through it. It's been about 12 days at .5mg and seem to be doing alright, all things considered!

[Gridley]

I'm glad you're doing well.  Just a reminder:  many members find that the lower their dose gets, the slower they need to taper, either by reducing less than 10% or reduce by 10% and hold for longer.

[ChessieCat]

1 hour ago, Gridley said:

many members find that the lower their dose gets, the slower they need to taper

 

This topic is helpful for understand why:

 

Why taper paper: dose-occupancy curves

[Horns85]

Hello all,

 

Going to journal a bit as I am now 11 weeks since my last dose. More ups than downs since getting to zero but my first true wave has started to emerge over the last 5 or 6 days(which makes sense given the time I have now been off). I will say I am much better off than I was 11 weeks off back in 2014 after a quick 5-6 month "taper". Gut issues have seemed to return a bit which tends to induce a constant underlying anxious state and return of slight dp/dr. All the same sx's I had last time but in lesser form. I am now remembering from the first round of WD that really anything I take to combat the gut issues seems to exacerbate the symptoms. This is extremely frustrating but par for the course it seems with WD.

 

As always, acceptance is key but tends to become more difficult as WD takes hold. Luckily my outlook is much different this time around and I know what to expect should symptoms arise. I'll update in more detail as I continue this process and this wave subsides. Good luck to everyone and hang in there!

 

--Horns

[Happy2Heal]

congratulations!!

 

hope your wave is short and mild, and that your healing races ahead in leaps and bounds!!

 

[Horns85]

5 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

congratulations!!

 

hope your wave is short and mild, and that your healing races ahead in leaps and bounds!!

 

 

Thanks, H2H! Appreciate the kind words! I’ll update once something changes. 

[Junglechicken]

7 hours ago, Horns85 said:

Hello all,

 

Going to journal a bit as I am now 11 weeks since my last dose. More ups than downs since getting to zero but my first true wave has started to emerge over the last 5 or 6 days(which makes sense given the time I have now been off). I will say I am much better off than I was 11 weeks off back in 2014 after a quick 5-6 month "taper". Gut issues have seemed to return a bit which tends to induce a constant underlying anxious state and return of slight dp/dr. All the same sx's I had last time but in lesser form. I am now remembering from the first round of WD that really anything I take to combat the gut issues seems to exacerbate the symptoms. This is extremely frustrating but par for the course it seems with WD.

 

As always, acceptance is key but tends to become more difficult as WD takes hold. Luckily my outlook is much different this time around and I know what to expect should symptoms arise. I'll update in more detail as I continue this process and this wave subsides. Good luck to everyone and hang in there!

 

--Horns

 

Horns,

 

Im at the same time elapsed as you since reaching 0mg Lexapro.

 

We have similar WD symptoms.  Gut issues are one of my main symptoms, as well as anxiety/depression (why I was put on Lexapro in the first place).

 

Anyway, keep up the good work.

 

JC

 

 

[wantrelief]

Congratulations, Horns - quite an accomplishment!  I hope this wave passes soon.  

[Horns85]

16 hours ago, Junglechicken said:

 

Horns,

 

Im at the same time elapsed as you since reaching 0mg Lexapro.

 

We have similar WD symptoms.  Gut issues are one of my main symptoms, as well as anxiety/depression (why I was put on Lexapro in the first place).

 

Anyway, keep up the good work.

 

JC

 

 

Thanks, JC! Good luck to you as well! Do your gut issues, along with certain foods cause any spaciness/dp/dr? I recall this from last time and it's the strangest thing! Hang in there!

[Horns85]

Well, still in a bit of a wave. Going on about 3 weeks now. Ups and downs with DP/DR being the most troublesome symptom. Better in the morning and at night but during the day at work the computer screens increase it 10x. Very distracting but trying not to add any additional anxiety to it. Mood is rather calm but a little bit more "meh" with the inability to really get excited about anything. Going to try to work back in a probiotic and focus on my gut health as I swear that is where 90% of  my symptoms derive. In the past taking a probiotic always lifted my mood after a week or so.

 

I have a feeling this I just my baseline at the moment and that will slowly get better as I heal. I'll update again when something changes. Hang in there everyone and good luck!

[Horns85]

Hello Everyone,

 

I am now 8 months post taper and feel like I am about 75% back to normal except for the 30lbs I gained (almost overnight it seemed) once I reinstated. Despite a strict diet and almost daily exercise, it will not budge. If I remember correctly the first time I went off, it was around month 10/11 that it just sort of fell off. Is that the case for others? I can't seem to remember exactly..?

 

Hang in there everyone, it does get better!!

[ChessieCat]

That's great news.  Thank you for posting an update.

 

Here's SA's topic on the subject:  weight-gain-weight-loss-and-appetite-changes

 

[Horns85]

4 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

That's great news.  Thank you for posting an update.

 

Here's SA's topic on the subject:  weight-gain-weight-loss-and-appetite-changes

 

Thanks, Chessie!

[Happy2Heal]

hi Horn85,

just popping by to see how you are doing?

hope all is well with you!

 

[Horns85]

On ‎1‎/‎8‎/‎2019 at 5:17 PM, Happy2Heal said:

hi Horn85,

just popping by to see how you are doing?

hope all is well with you!

 

Thanks, Happy2Heal!

 

I'll do a full update once I hit the one year mark in April, BUT I am doing well!

 

The 9th of this month began my 10th month post taper. I would say that I am 85% healed and just dealing with some residual GI issues and trying to lose the weight put on during my reinstatement and taper( so frustrating how it won't come off no matter what you do UNTIL your body is ready). In regards to the symptoms I had the first time I tapered too fast, i.e. terrible anxiety and depression, sleeping issues, early morning cortisol issues, unable to handle any stress, constant worry, GI/Acid Reflux, DP/DR and FEAR are all pretty much distant memories at this point.

 

I'm almost there and anyone reading this who needs hope, YOU WILL GET THERE TOO! When I was in WD late 2014 and most of 2015, I thought I would never make it.  Now I can see the finish line!

[Horns85]

What are everyone's experiences losing weight after stopping the meds? I tapered off over a 2 year period and though I shouldn't be complaining because mentally I feel well,  I have been med free 14 months and the weight won't budge up or down! Despite an extremely healthy/clean diet and rigorous exercise 3-4x a week. I gained roughly 40 lbs during my reinstatement and it won't come off.

 

ANYWAY curious others experiences. Thanks!

[phillyfan24]

Wow, your story has given me such hope...thank you so much for updating along the way. I am dealing with DR and excessive fatigue after tapering lex and after reinstatement, and am taking it slow now. 

 

As as per your weight, have you had blood work done for your thyroid? I know the many that have been through this process have found that it messes with their thyroid levels. Specifically, hypothyroidism is something that will cause no weight loss no matter the diet/exercise. 

[Horns85]

On ‎6‎/‎18‎/‎2019 at 11:13 AM, phillyfan24 said:

Wow, your story has given me such hope...thank you so much for updating along the way. I am dealing with DR and excessive fatigue after tapering lex and after reinstatement, and am taking it slow now. 

 

As as per your weight, have you had blood work done for your thyroid? I know the many that have been through this process have found that it messes with their thyroid levels. Specifically, hypothyroidism is something that will cause no weight loss no matter the diet/exercise. 

Hi Philly,

 

Glad I could provide you hope! I had terrible DR during WD and it was ALL I thought about which obviously made it 10x worse. I get it in small bouts from time to time when I experience a stressful situation but it goes away within 20 minutes or so. I think that is totally normal for us who are prone to anxiety. Hang in there and you will be fine!

 

Good idea on the blood work! I have been meaning to do this anyway and this gives me more of a reason. I knew when I reinstated that weight would come back on no matter what I did(my first round on Lexapro I gained 35+ with an extremely healthy lifestyle), BUT I thought as I tapered it would come off....nope.

 

Hang in there with DR and fatigue...it WILL get better over time. I am proof of that!

[Hamster]

On 6/4/2019 at 12:32 AM, Horns85 said:

What are everyone's experiences losing weight after stopping the meds? I tapered off over a 2 year period and though I shouldn't be complaining because mentally I feel well,  I have been med free 14 months and the weight won't budge up or down! Despite an extremely healthy/clean diet and rigorous exercise 3-4x a week. I gained roughly 40 lbs during my reinstatement and it won't come off.

 

ANYWAY curious others experiences. Thanks!

Hi,

 

I did not yet stop my meds ... so no contribution to this detail.

 

But: How much did you exercise in the past (before taking ADs or before your reinstatement)? Muscles do add to weight too ... 

I changed my lifestyle from quite active to couch potato roughly 10 years ago (moved to another country with a completely different lifestyle). Weight gain: Close to zero.

Coming back to my old country of residence  and to my old lifestyle (including quite some exercise) after 3 years sent my weight through the roof. 

 

My explanation: Moving from active to inactive transformed quite some muscles to fat ... not healthy, but not really visible on the scale. Going back and becoming active again added muscles (and the weight) but failed to reduce my body fat. At least for quite some time.

 

Another idea: Being "co-pregnant" (i.e. living with a pregnant wife) added some weight for me. Unfortunately, it did not disappear with giving birth.

  

Regards,

 

Hamster

[Horns85]

I was close to writing my recovery story before getting slammed with this current wave that started about 10 days ago. I'm around 20 months post taper so this certainly caught me by surprise -- BUT all part of the process!

I was diagnosed with a sinus infection last week which Is certainly making it worse. Brain fog, low mood, sleep issues, DP/DR during the day and at night and food sensitivities....the norm.

 

I'll update as this wave subsides. HANG IN THERE! I am 85-90% healed and have felt great most of the last year and a half. You will get there too.

 

--Horns

[brassmonkey]

Hi Horns-- I'm sorry to hear that you're getting slammed with a bad wave after so many months of being off of everything.  We have been getting a lot of validation recently that the 18 month wave is a very real thing, and that sounds like what is happening to you. Luckily the 18 month wave usually lasts only a few weeks and then leaves a person in a better place than when it started.  I remember mine was intense anxiety for about three weeks then a "hangover" for several days, but left me feeling really good once it was over.   Hang in there and things should be better fairly soon.

 

Looking forward to reading your success story.

 

Brass 

[Horns85]

On ‎12‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 2:37 PM, brassmonkey said:

Hi Horns-- I'm sorry to hear that you're getting slammed with a bad wave after so many months of being off of everything.  We have been getting a lot of validation recently that the 18 month wave is a very real thing, and that sounds like what is happening to you. Luckily the 18 month wave usually lasts only a few weeks and then leaves a person in a better place than when it started.  I remember mine was intense anxiety for about three weeks then a "hangover" for several days, but left me feeling really good once it was over.   Hang in there and things should be better fairly soon.

 

Looking forward to reading your success story.

 

Brass 

Thank you, Brass. You were absolutely correct and the wave has subsided. It lasted roughly 2-3 weeks with a few days of "hangover" that ended Saturday. It's Monday and I am doing great and that's saying something.

 

I will be back to write my recovery story (even if a new wave pops up) as soon as I am able to drop the med induced weight gain. Never worked so hard in my life and not be able to lose it!

 

Hang in there everyone! Be back soon.