Ally69: What to do about all these emotions

[Ally69]

Hello

 

I'm new to this site.

 

I was on Prozac since I was about 28 recently over about six months tapered off with the help of my doc. When I was on them I was like a machine and became quite professionally successful, was this sparky but 2D version of myself. But then I think something clicked about five years ago and I was like the medicated and depressed but also really angry and irritable in the mornings. Sometimes I think I had a couple of bipolar episodes of doing things like cheating on my husband etc without really being aware what I was doing or the consequences and (I'm not blaming the meds but...) I look back and think how did I not think through some of the things I was doing? I wonder if I couldn't feel negative emotions as red flags that signalled 'CONSEQUENCES AHEAD..'

 

Now, I am terrified of all the emotions  am feeling as I haven't felt any real emotions in so long. The only things that help for me are running for 30 minutes in the morning followed by ten mins mindfulness meditation and a little yoga. Even then, whenever I get under some work pressure or feel a little down, I instantly think 'OMG I need to get on those pills as I will get depressed again.' But it does pass. What I love is not being tired all the time, not being apathetic about anything other than work and not having those awful night sweats

 

I also take 5-HTP which I really think works. I have more happy days than not and my husband said I seem so much better off them, more fun, less tired and less angry all the time (so strange, all my anger has gone since stopping the ADs). Also, sex drive and ability to orgasm was very low (from being very high in my 20s), now all that is back I REALLY don't want to go back on those medications and lose it again.

 

I just find these negative emotions so overwhelming and find dealing with them so very difficult. Though I never, ever feel suicidal (like I did in my 20s) and am always so surprised that eventually they all pass if I just distract myself. The worst is work when I have a deadline or when I feel lonely. I'm just scare one day it will all build up and I'll get depressed again and wonder if being on a pill to stop that might be better. Almost like a preventative.

 

Any thoughts more than welcome or if there is another similar post I could read that would be great.

Edited August 29, 2016 by scallywag
tags added

[Ally69]

Also wanted to say, I miss the feeling of not having to TRY to be happy all the time.

[ChessieCat]

Hi Ally,

 

Welcome to SA.  There is lots of information here.  To search the site use Google or other search engine and type in survivingantidepressants.org + topic

 

We request all members to Please put your Withdrawal History in Signature.  Details of the last 12-18 months and a summary of any prior.  Please include ALL drugs, dates and doses and how you decreased/increased.

 

Once we have some additional information we will be better able to offer suggestions.  Here are some links to good links to non-drug ways to cope:

1. Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms
2. Acceptance
3. Acceptance and Mindfulness
4. Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System
5. "Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms
6. Change cognitive framing - Redirect - Another Way
7. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for anxiety, depression
8. Cognitive Behavior Therapy lessons

This is your Intro/Update topic to ask questions and to journal your progress.  Click "Follow" top right and you will be notified when someone responds.

[Ally69]

Thank you

[scallywag]

Ally -- Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants (SA)

 

I've added tags to this topic -- your introduction. Now at the bottom of the page, you'll see other topics that have the same tags so you can easily find others who are taking or have taken prozac.  You can also click on the tag (it's at the top of the page under the topic title) to see a full list.

[Ally69]

Thanks so much, I will add all other stuff but don't have many details to hand. About my dosage. It was basically 20mg for about 20 years daily and the taper started as every other day for three months and then went to twice a week for one month and once a week for two months before going off it. 

[downtongirl]

Hi Ally69...welcome....I too am in withdrawal from prozac and other antidepressants over the past 21 years.  I am glad some things have improved since you have been off of prozac but sorry you are dealing with some emotional issues.  I think it is to be expected that we don't know how to quite deal with the emotions we are feeling because like you said while on them we don't really have to deal with them while on the antidepressants because the antidepressants give us a false sense of security.  

 

How long were you on prozac?

 

I saw that you are taking 5-htp....how much do you take and what time of the day do you take it?

[Ally69]

HI there DowntonGirl

 

I was on Prozac for about 18 years. Am currently taking 200mg 2 x a day of 5HTP which I worked up to

 

Thanks!

 

Ally

[downtongirl]

Do you feel the 5-http is helping?