Postlexapro: Introducing myself

[Postlexapro]

I went on Lexapro in college after a severe bout of depression. This was in 2002. I stayed on Lexapro at varying doses and was on 20 mg most recently. In 2013 I decided to taper off Lexapro because I didn't want to be on it when I started trying to conceive. This ended up being a hellish two to three-year process. I finally came off in May 2016.

 

For a couple of months I felt really great and more like myself that I had in years. Then a long-standing neck pain issue got a lot worse and triggered a relapse of depression a couple of months ago. I have been so depressed since then, with symptoms including constant crying and tearfulness, hopelessness, fatigue, guilt, and most recently I developed late insomnia ( relatively little trouble falling asleep waking up about two hours before you want to and not being able to fall back asleep ).

 

I joined this group for support on managing my symptoms and also hoping to talk to people who have struggled with whether to be on antidepressants during pregnancy. I really don't want to go back on Lexapro or another SSRI but also can't continue to live like this and know it could also be harmful to a pregnancy to be severely depressed.

Edited November 12, 2016 by scallywag
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[scallywag]

Postlexapro -- Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants (SA)
 
There are other women posting here who are discontinuing an SSRI antidepressant because they want to become pregnant and are concerned about the safety of the medication during pregnancy and breastfeeding.

Please post more detail about how you tapered off Lexapro -- the doses, how long you stayed at each. If you can't remember a few details here and there, that's okay; the overall picture will be useful.
 
A request: Would you summarize your history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-18 months particularly?

• Any drugs prior to that can just be listed with start and stop years.
• You don't need to include symptoms or diagnoses other than the initial condition that led to prescribing the first drug.
• We ask for this information in your signature so that we can see it at a glance. A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs.
• You can find instructions in this topic: Please put your withdrawal history in signature
• If you are using a phone, detailed instructions are in Post #8 and Post #9

Despite what many medical professionals believe and what the pharma reps want them to believe, withdrawal symptoms can be very difficult and can extend well past 2 months after last dose. I know I'm preaching to choir in this post, but some things aren't better left unsaid.
What is withdrawal syndrome
Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list -- first post has download links

It can be helpful to record your symptoms on paper -- outside of your memory(!). This post details a useful format for a daily log:
Take notes of doses and symptoms

Have you found our discussions on Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms and Neuro-emotions?

About that early-waking version of insomnia: It may be related to the daily cycle of cortisol. Some people wake with a feeling of anxiety and panic, others just wake up. Here's our discussion on that:
Early morning waking with anxiety

For the sake of completeness and possible future reference, here's our topic about
Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram)

I hope you'll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation. I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but am glad that you found us.

[Postlexapro]

I've been off of Lexapro since May of this year. The first couple months were actually pretty good. Then around September I had a major depressive episode and it is not over yet. Constant crying, feelings of hopelessness, intense irritability and aggression. I tried so many different things--Omega 3/DHA supplements, light box therapy, CBT, biofeedback.

 

Then I decided to try cardio exercise--something I had always avoided because I've also always had intense neck pain. I exercised 20 mins a day for a month straight (something I have never accomplished in my life) and was starting to feel like maybe the clouds were parting. Then all of the sudden I got crippling back pain. I went to the doctor and it seems like I just overdid it with the exercise. But the back pain has lasted weeks and I still am uncomfortable all the time. On top of that, I fell outside my office and sprained my ankle badly. So no more exercising for a while.

 

Then five weeks ago, out of nowhere, I developed insomnia--the one symptom I've never experienced before. I'd wake up every single night around 4 am and not be able to fall back asleep. My doctor prescribed 25 mg of trazadone, which I'm taking, but it doesn't consistently help and I'm so weary of going back on meds. Everyone (my dr, my family) wants me to go back on SSRIs.

 

What I want to know is: is this normal discontinuation syndrome? When can I expect it to get better? What can I do to make it better faster? I'm so, so tired of feeling this way, and am truly desperate to feel better. I've isolated myself from friends and family, can't function well at work... things just keep getting worse.

 

I think it's in my signature, but I'm currently on the trazadone plus klonopin as needed. I also take tizandine (muscle relaxant) at night sometimes.

Edited December 5, 2016 by scallywag
added paragraph breaks

[scallywag]

What you describe is well within range for discontinuation or withdrawal syndrome.

 

Doctors believe that symptoms occur for 6-8 weeks and that anything beyond that is a recurrence of the original condition. Once upon a time, I used to believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. My point: what doctors believe is irrelevant and does not affect reality and fact.

 

Unfortunately there has been little research into recovery time frames or factors that influence it.  There is no one who can predict what path you'll take to recovering from your exposure to and withdrawal from Lexapro.

 

It's important to know that people do recover. Please read threads in the Success Stories forum. Link.

[LexAnger]

Hi Postlexapro,

 

I'm so sorry you are still suffering after being free from the meds. It's heartbreaking after all the incredible effort tapering off the poison and it still hit you.

 

I would hope you can ride it out for the complete healing that will come along the way. I'm still tapering Lexapro, but learned it can still take some time to heal post tapering. You tapered in three years which is good, meaning you already gave your brain time to adjust gradually, and also meaning the post taper time shouldn't be too long before your system heal completely.

 

I believe you wupill soon find out the waves and window pattern will favor you with longer nice windows as it goes until no more waves anymore.

 

You already did so much hard work. Plus reinstating at this stage can be risky. I can imagine it must be very hard otherwise you wouldn't think of getting back to these poison, but still hope you give it some time see if you can manage without going back.

 

Lex

[Postlexapro]

Thank you for your replies. I am going back to my doctor today at my husband's insistence. She is generally supportive--she is the one who helped me taper from 7.5 mg to 0 mg. But I know she is going to want me to go back on an SSRI at this point. Is there any SSRI I could reinstate with for just a couple months to "get right" that is easier to taper off from than Lexapro?

[scallywag]

A few questions:

1. Your last dose was in May 2016, correct? 
2. Have you taken any other SSRI medications?
3. What other medications are you taking for any reason?

Lexapro can be a difficult medication to discontinue. The issue in your case *may* not be the drug itself but the tapering rate your doctor advised, going from 5 mg in Nov. 2015 to 0 mg in May 2016.  Decreasing by 10% of dose would have had you at 2.5 mg in April/May 2016. If I were in your situation, I'd keep things simple and stick with Lexapro, the "one that that brung me."

[Postlexapro]

Thanks. Yes, last dose May 2016, never taken any other SSRI. The reason the dr has suggested Zoloft is bc I want to get pregnant soon and apparently it's the most studied in pregnancy.

[scallywag]

Do you want to go back on an SSRI? Not your husband, not your doctor, do YOU?

 

First about switching to Zoloft:

 

It's possible that starting on Zoloft now when you're dealing with a sensitized, destabilized CNS won't be the same or as as easy as it may have to start Lexapro in 2002. It's possible that introducing it will be problem free. Your experience can't be predicted.

 

 

Taking an SSRI or going through withdrawal when pregnant

 

You're between a rock and a hard place  -- taking an SSRI when pregnant  or go through withdrawal when pregnant.

 

Your doctor may be correct in saying that Zoloft is the most studied SSRI during pregnancy; that only means that there is more data about the risks, not that the risks of taking it during pregnancy are less than other medications.

 

We have a topics about pregnancy and/or wanting to conceive while taking antidepressants:

Antidepressants during pregnancy.

Dr. David Healy on prolonged antidepressant withdrawal.- there is a section of the first post that discusses withdrawal during pregnancy.

Wanting a baby and withdrawing - I think you've found this topic

 

As always, the decision is yours.  It sounds as if you are gathering information to make the best decision you can for yourself and your family. That's always time and energy well invested.