Jorge24: My withdrawal journey

[Jorge24]

Has anyone else experience a feeling of not feeling alive? Like you cant enjoy life, what you Like? Feeling disconnect from everything, life itself? Has anyone else experience this coming off a ssri or any other drug.  Please tell me i ain't the only that experience such a bad feeling. I just want all this to go away and have my life back! 

[Downbutnotout]

21 minutes ago, Jorge24 said:

Has anyone else experience a feeling of not feeling alive? Like you cant enjoy life, what you Like? Feeling disconnect from everything, life itself? Has anyone else experience this coming off a ssri or any other drug.  Please tell me i ain't the only that experience such a bad feeling. I just want all this to go away and have my life back! 

It’s a big symptom. 

[Jorge24]

Is it normal? Will it go away i was only on zoloft for only months? 

[ChessieCat]

I suggest you check out these topics:

 

anhedonia-apathy-demotivation-emotional-numbness

 

derealization-or-depersonalization

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

 

 

Edited February 6, 2018 by ChessieCat

[Jorge24]

Thanks ama look into. Did not know it was a common symptom. Though I was the only one. All normal then to feel like this ig.

[Jorge24]

Is not anxiety or depression.

I have this pressure on my head. I cant watch tv. I feel so numb mentally. I can literally see people just passing by without any connection especially my family.  Feels like am in a dream so hard to explain this feeling. Is this really depersonalization or Dr? Is this a withdrawl symptom, will it all go away? 

Anyone plz tell me this is a normal symptom coming offa ssri.  Why is when a symptom passes another one shows up? Is these all part of the healing process?

[Dalalea]

1 hour ago, Jorge24 said:

Is this really depersonalization or Dr? Is this a withdrawl symptom

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! I think your words are a perfect description of de-realization! I've had some of that, too. It's on all of the withdrawal symptom lists. I think it will go away in time. Mine is much better this week but I'm a few months ahead of you. Hang on! I'm praying that your healing is on its way.

[ChessieCat]

2 hours ago, Jorge24 said:

Why is when a symptom passes another one shows up? Is these all part of the healing process?

 

From Post #1 in this topic:  What is Happening in Your Brain

 

"Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are [...] to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were [...] to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and [...] to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while [...] is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made. 
And just like the Twin Towers- it's possible - but the building is a major effort -and it takes a good year or more sometimes."

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

[Dalalea]

24 minutes ago, Dalalea said:

I'm a few months ahead of you

I tapered off last summer. The last pill was probably the end of July 2017.

[Jorge24]

11 minutes ago, Dalalea said:

I tapered off last summer. The last pill was probably the end of July 2017.

How long did you take it for if you don't mind me asking?  

[Jorge24]

36 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

 

From Post #1 in this topic:  What is Happening in Your Brain

 

"Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are [...] to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were [...] to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and [...] to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while [...] is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made. 
And just like the Twin Towers- it's possible - but the building is a major effort -and it takes a good year or more sometimes."

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

Thanks i got a better understanding on how t is works.

Is there any foods, vitamins i can take to make the healing process faster ?

[Dalalea]

27 minutes ago, Jorge24 said:

How long did you take it for if you don't mind me asking?  

I was on it more than 7 years. 25 mg.  I started having memory loss and flat emotions and wanted off. 

[Jorge24]

1 hour ago, Dalalea said:

I was on it more than 7 years. 25 mg.  I started having memory loss and flat emotions and wanted off. 

Wow. So about dp, are you still having that symptom? How did you cope with it? Am having it real bad and new to it 

[Dalalea]

I did feel like I was living in a dream a lot of the time. Sometimes it was really bad because I tend to dwell on things internally. 

Sometimes I could make it a little better by changing scenery. Going outside or talking to someone on the phone. Mine decreases if I can distract myself. Even interacting on this site pushes it away. 

I am naturally an introvert so I tend to think too much and run things over and over in my mind. It isn’t healthy and produces more fear and helplessness. 

Its better if I force myself to help someone else with something. 

I’ll be praying for you to push through this. 

[Hellbutrin]

On 1/26/2018 at 11:55 PM, nz11 said:

In my opinion the recommended stay on an ad should be zero days.

 

Look these numbers are just pharma using a random generator.

Its interesting they say that when their drug trials only went for 4-6 weeks. They have no idea whats going on from 6-12 months, none! And you know what they don't want to know either.

 

They know perfectly well that by  one months time you are dependant. 

Have you heard a doctor say it takes one month before it starts working. So keep taking your medication. Even if suffering adverse effects. Well that's pharma speak as well. These drugs start altering the brain from the normal state  from the very first dose. So why one month then? ....Well at one month pharma knows that you will be now be dependant. And quite possibly set up to be a long term customer.

 

With only two months exposure there is a very good chance you will heal faster than most.

yes it could still take months  it will get better with time. Try not to worry too much and just hang in there. You will make it.

Does anhedonia eventually go away? I'm so tired of feeling emotionally blunted, and not appreciating anything. 

[Jorge24]

12 hours ago, Dalalea said:

I did feel like I was living in a dream a lot of the time. Sometimes it was really bad because I tend to dwell on things internally. 

Sometimes I could make it a little better by changing scenery. Going outside or talking to someone on the phone. Mine decreases if I can distract myself. Even interacting on this site pushes it away. 

I am naturally an introvert so I tend to think too much and run things over and over in my mind. It isn’t healthy and produces more fear and helplessness. 

Its better if I force myself to help someone else with something. 

I’ll be praying for you to push through 

[Hellbutrin]

On 2/6/2018 at 12:50 AM, ChessieCat said:

I suggest you check out these topics:

 

anhedonia-apathy-demotivation-emotional-numbness

 

derealization-or-depersonalization

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

 

 

I'm still having a difficult time understanding the mechanism behind anhedonia and how it recovers. I've been in withdrawal for 7 months now and I haven't seen ANY wavering in my emotional blunting.

[Jorge24]

11 hours ago, Dalalea said:

I did feel like I was living in a dream a lot of the time. Sometimes it was really bad because I tend to dwell on things internally. 

Sometimes I could make it a little better by changing scenery. Going outside or talking to someone on the phone. Mine decreases if I can distract myself. Even interacting on this site pushes it away. 

I am naturally an introvert so I tend to think too much and run things over and over in my mind. It isn’t healthy and produces more fear and helplessness. 

Its better if I force myself to help someone else with something. 

I’ll be praying for you to push through this. 

Yeah even tho it can be hard just by going outside in a state of mind like this I still force my self. I spend like 4 hours out side my house, going to my back yard, park store I do  every day to kill time and distract myself but still hard. 

 

Do you still have this symptom? 

 

I just want all this to be over. I got 2 beautiful daughter's that i need to enjoy life with.just plz keep reminding me this goes away never had this issue 

[Jorge24]

47 minutes ago, Hellbutrin said:

I'm still having a difficult time understanding the mechanism behind anhedonia and how it recovers. I've been in withdrawal for 7 months now and I haven't seen ANY wavering in my emotional blunting.

Keep going no matter What! How long where you on meds?

[Dalalea]

3 hours ago, Jorge24 said:

Do you still have this symptom?

I do when I've been sick, not sleeping, or run down.

You will be back to doing things soon, I'm sure. My kids are grown but I can imagine how upsetting it is to feel like you are missing time with them.

I'm in a window right now but last week, at this time, was very hard. I can be outside but to go in a busy store or around lots of people is still overwhelming. I get light-headed, dizzy, and can't concentrate enough to find what I need to buy.

I had a window a month ago and another one now that has lasted 3 days. My first windows were only an hour or two at a time and still with some symptoms. Try to notice small improvements even if they last a short time and hang on to that.

Keep believing and don't give up! I'm saying a prayer for you!

[Jorge24]

54 minutes ago, Dalalea said:

I do when I've been sick, not sleeping, or run down.

You will be back to doing things soon, I'm sure. My kids are grown but I can imagine how upsetting it is to feel like you are missing time with them.

I'm in a window right now but last week, at this time, was very hard. I can be outside but to go in a busy store or around lots of people is still overwhelming. I get light-headed, dizzy, and can't concentrate enough to find what I need to buy.

I had a window a month ago and another one now that has lasted 3 days. My first windows were only an hour or two at a time and still with some symptoms. Try to notice small improvements even if they last a short time and hang on to that.

Keep believing and don't give up! I'm saying a prayer for you!

Looks like your having some good windows means your on your way to recovery now. I cant remember when i had one. I wish I had one soon. I wish these symptoms end soon. My daughters r young 6, and 4 tomorrow i get to see em hopefully it aint to stressful. Maybe i need another month or lit bit more to start having some windows or to feel some improvement.  Am mentally exhausted.

 

You mention you took your meds for 7 years and your like 4 months ahead of me and having some good windows there.  I only took em for 2 month's God when should i start seeing some improvement.  

[Hellbutrin]

13 hours ago, Jorge24 said:

Keep going no matter What! How long where you on meds?

I was taking Wellbutrin for a year and 8 months

[Jorge24]

13 hours ago, Hellbutrin said:

I was taking Wellbutrin for a year and 8 months

All i can say is to keep fighting, have faith! I only took mime for 2 month's and am going trough hell. But I keep telling myself this is all withdrawl and it will go away sooner or later.

[Dalalea]

Hi!

Did you get to see your daughters? I hope you're doing ok.

 

[Jorge24]

No i did not only for like 5 mins. Till friday.

 

Am hanging in there praying,  keeping my mind busy. Trying to not let dp, dr win over my mind even tho it can still be hard. 

[Jorge24]

Is all normal to someone to go trough withdrawal of only of 2 month of use think i already ask this. Is it normal to still be in withdrawal, 3 month's off off plz any advice.  Mane symptom are dp, dr.

[brassmonkey]

It's quite normal Jorge.  One of the sad facts about ADs is just how fast they can get their hooks into a person.  After being on the drugs for just one month it is generally best to do a slow 10% taper to get off of them.  This means spending a lot more time getting off than a person actually spent on the drug.  With your CT, reinstatement and second CT your body is probably sensitized to the drugs and will be showing some WD symptoms for quite some time. DR/DP is one of those really unpredictable symptoms that comes and goes as it chooses and can be quite scary when it is happening. Acknowledgement and Acceptance are the two things that will help the most while getting through it.

[Jorge24]

7 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

It's quite normal Jorge.  One of the sad facts about ADs is just how fast they can get their hooks into a person.  After being on the drugs for just one month it is generally best to do a slow 10% taper to get off of them.  This means spending a lot more time getting off than a person actually spent on the drug.  With your CT, reinstatement and second CT your body is probably sensitized to the drugs and will be showing some WD symptoms for quite some time. DR/DP is one of those really unpredictable symptoms that comes and goes as it chooses and can be quite scary when it is happening. Acknowledgement and Acceptance are the two things that will help the most while getting through it.

I taper off just one week. I'm half the pill 25mg. Is that consider a ct? Ok so me having dp,dr right now it's all normal cuz never in my life had this.  I heard for most people it hits after 3 month's off and that's the case with me. Since its withdrawl it will go away right? 

[brassmonkey]

The definition of CT is to abruptly stop taking a medication. Given the way these drugs affect the body anything less than several weeks could be considered abrupt.

 

Yes, because it's WD it will eventually go away.

[Jorge24]

So what your saying is i had a ct? Even tho i just took it for 2 month's? 

 

So there's no reason for me to take at least half the zoloft to ease these horrible dr, Dr?. 

 

That's really good to know sucks when you never even had that symptom. It's so scary 

[brassmonkey]

Taking half of a full dose now would more than likely cause you some real trouble.  A reinstatement several months out like this should only be in the 1-2mgai range at most.  If your symptoms are severe then you might try a very small reinstatement.  We have more information on it here:  About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms 

 

In my eyes the people who have only taken their drugs for a couple of months are some of the most upsetting cases to see.  They've hardly been on the drug any time at all, but it's still been long enough for their body to make a lot of changes that are dependent on the presence of the drug to maintain.  That requires a long slow taper to undo.

[Jorge24]

8Ok so what would you suggest here. To keep going like i been this 3 month's off? It's just that these withdrawal symptoms are getting to me that am trying to find some improvement.

 

Is time the cure here. This women recover almost in 4 months after 7 years of use just wanted to put that out there 

[brassmonkey]

It's possible to find an example of someone's taper that will support any scenario, but each person is so individual it is not a good idea to compare your experience directly to another's.  Yes, time is the only cure.  Anything else we do is to make that time pass more comfortably, and we don't have many options.  If your symptoms are unbearable, then a small (1mgai) reinstatement probably will help take the edge off.  But that will restart the recovery clock and eventually that 1mgai will have to be tapered off of.  Improvements are frustratingly slow to happen, especially following a CT, but they will eventually calm down and give you some relief.  I would love to tell you that things will be fine in x number of months, but there are just so many variables that this can't be done.

[Jorge24]

Only symptom are dp, dr.  If its withdrawl then it will go away in time.  Is cure the only time for dp, Dr?

 

I feel like i need people to keep reminding me this will go away. It sucks cuz i never had dp, or dr.

[Downbutnotout]

At least you haven’t been in them for 25 years like me. It’s good you figured this out early. 

[Jorge24]

18 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

At least you haven’t been in them for 25 years like me. It’s good you figured this out early. 

Yeah but even tho only took em for 2 month's that got me through he'll. Never experience something like this