Freedom1975: this is hard

[Freedom1975]

Moderator note - link to benzo forum thread - Freedom1975: Zopiclone and clonazepam

 

So i have been reading advice on how to get off these drugs and following the protocol of the 10% taper. It is mentioned to only come off 1 drug at a time. Its a littlle scary thinking that this could take years just to get off one drug and then attempt the next drug after. I am not sure what i am looking for here. Just a friendly voice of encouragement and maybe some more guidance of how to navigate through this hell of withdrawal

Edited July 4, 2018 by Shep
added mod note

[Freedom1975]

If I missed something in the introduction or in my description i apologize. This is all new to me. Just let me know what info is needed. 

 

Thx

[Freedom1975]

I filled out my profile page but have no idea how to correct it. Anyways. I am trying to use a liquid mix of my zoloft to wean off. Is the accuracy of the dose being off a tiny amount capable of causing chaos in the withdrawal?

[Petunia]

Welcome Freedom1975,

 

I'm glad you decided to post an introduction, you will find a lot of friendly support here.

I moved the topics you have started into this thread. This is your own introduction thread, only one topic per member in the introduction section. You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress, write about symptoms, ask questions and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want. Its a good idea to bookmark it or follow it, so its easy to find again. 

 

Here is the link with information about how to fill in your signature, thank you for making a start on it.

 

Please put your withdrawal history in your signature

 

We need to see a list of medications taken with approximate dates for your earlier history. We need details including drugs, dates and dosages from the previous 2 years. Please include information about recent tapering attempts or cold turkey stops. No diagnosis information or symptoms. A simple list of this information is easiest to read.

 

It sounds like you have a good idea about how to taper, and you will do fine if you take it slowly enough. I don't have any experience personally of proper tapering, because I did it all wrong, ended up in protracted withdrawal and found my way here when it was too late to do it properly. I highly recommend tapering properly, no matter how long it takes, the suffering which can be caused by coming off these drugs too fast is beyond imagination and I don't know how any of us who do it survive.

 

But you are doing the right thing and have a good chance of getting through the process with minimal discomfort. If symptoms arise or increase, that's a sign you are tapering too fast and need to hold or slow down. It can take a while to safely come off these medications, especially if you are taking several, but with each drop, you are reducing your toxic load and moving one step closer to your goal.

 

How are you feeling at the moment? How long have you been tapering the Zoloft?

 

When you say liquid mix, do you mean you are using the liquid version of Zoloft, or are you making your own liquid?

 

I'm sure you have found the relevant links in our tapering section, but I will put them here in your topic for easy reference:

 

Tips for tapering off Zoloft (sertraline)

 

Important topics in the Tapering forum and FAQ

 

You can edit your profile by clicking on the down arrow next to your name in the top right corner, click on profile and then edit. Remember to save any changes. But its more important to have a summary of the relevant information in your signature and more detail here on your thread, because this is what we see when reading your posts.

 

Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing. 

Petunia.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Freedom1975]

I will try to update my profile when i am thinking a little clearer. Thx for replying. I am making my own mix of the zoloft. Just not to sure if i am being accurate enough. At the moment i am unable to think clearly or make decisions at all. Even typing this is difficult. I was put through the ringer by the doctors. I had Akathasia caused by a nausea medication. So in the past 12 months i have been on at least 20 different meds. Some were even changed daily. Sorry i am rambling. So if i have questions just ask them here or go to a select forum to ask?

[Freedom1975]

I will try to update my profile when i am thinking a little clearer. Thx for replying. I am making my own mix of the zoloft. Just not to sure if i am being accurate enough. At the moment i am unable to think clearly or make decisions at all. Even typing this is difficult. I was put through the ringer by the doctors. I had Akathasia caused by a nausea medication. So in the past 12 months i have been on at least 20 different meds. Some were even changed daily. Sorry i am rambling. So if i have questions just ask them here or go to a select forum to ask?

[Freedom1975]

Sorry how do i bookmark it?

[Freedom1975]

Still not sure where to ask questions. This drop from 12.5 mg of zoloft to 11.5 mg is getting worse everyday

[Freedom1975]

Sorry if i am doing this wrong and posting here. I have been lowering my dose of Zoloft for a few months. I have been using a liquid formulation i make myself. If i make an error in one or two of my calculations can that cause withdrawal problems. Or is it that it has taken a few weeks for withdrawal effects to kick in hard? I have been on my current dose for about 2 and a half weeks now

 

Thx

[ChessieCat]

It could be either or a combination of both.  Many members find that as their dose gets lower they need to go slower and/or hold for longer.

 

It is very important to keep the dose amount as consistent as possible.  Using the same equipment and doing everything the same way each time helps with this.  Also, keeping notes about your taper method (ie what equipment you use, the order you do things in, amount of water and what tablet dose you dissolve) will give you instructions to refer back to if you have a brain freeze moment, or are concerned that you may being doing it differently.

 

It would depend on how big an error you made.  I accidentally reduced from 9.5mg to 4.5mg, when it should have been to 9mg, when I last made a reduction.  I was at 4.5mg for 5 days before I discovered my mistake.  It has caused an increase in my withdrawal symptoms and I have decided to stay on the 9mg for a couple of weeks longer.  If at the end of that time I am still not feeling back to what I was before the mistake, I will hold for another week.  In the overall scheme of my taper adding a few extra weeks isn't going to make much difference.  I would rather feel okay than to hurry my taper and feel miserable with unnecessary increased withdrawal symptoms.

[Freedom1975]

Thankyou for the reply. I am at the point where i am unsure what to do. I dont know if its my benzos my zopiclone my mirtazipine. I have never actually felt good taking my normal dose of zoloft. The reason for coming off it. Its been bad lowering it but these last few days have been torture. My error would only be a a milligram or so. I guess while doing thus i would also have to be very consistent with my other meds as well. Take them at the same time,the same amounts etc. I am also wondering that if my mirtazipine which i take half pills of could be an issue as well. Would it be wise to make that a liquid as well?

[Freedom1975]

I should also mention that all my pills needs cutting to get the required dose. So maybe making them all liquid wouldnt be bad idea? I was reading that there is a chance that one part of a pill could have more than the other part?

[Djones1984]

Just go slow my friend and take it one day at a time because when you start future tripping you will end up in a very bad place. You still have akathesia? I have had it to varying degrees for probably 10years it’s absolutely horriable and I am in a bad wave now.

[Freedom1975]

I have aka mild right now. Nothing like the 6 months of 22 hr a day walking with medicated sleep. Thanks for your words of advice. Thinking about the future is hard not to do unfortunately. I wish you all the best

[Carmie]

7 minutes ago, Freedom1975 said:

I have aka mild right now. Nothing like the 6 months of 22 hr a day walking with medicated sleep. Thanks for your words of advice. Thinking about the future is hard not to do unfortunately. I wish you all the best

 

Hi Freedom, 

 

Sorry you have akathisia, I’m glad it’s mild at the moment. I get it too when in bad waves. 

 

I’ve been using water titration with the Seroquel for ages now. I’m only tapering one medication though. Slow and steady does it though Freedom. It really isn’t worth trying to taper too quickly, I’ve done that in the past, and it just ends up with me having to hold a lot longer and being in massive waves a lot longer. 

 

Another thing I’ve learnt too in this journey is to make sure you hold long enough. If you don’t the waves will hit with intensity again, a lot of the time probably not straight away but they will hit. There is always a delayed reaction when you taper meds. You might taper too soon or not hold long enough, so you think you’re doing fine for a while, but than a week later, or even longer, a massive wave hits. 

 

SLOW AND STEADY does it. Wishing you all the best with your tapering Freedom 💚

 

 

 

 

[Freedom1975]

Thx carmie. My biggest problem now is trying to determine how bad my brain was altered from all the meds they put me on and took me off when i was in the hospital for the Akathasia. So i really dont know if i should hold and suffer or taper down and suffer. I am kind of at that point where i dont know whats causing all these problems. Affraid to take the meds and affraid not to take the meds.

[Carmie]

5 minutes ago, Freedom1975 said:

Thx carmie. My biggest problem now is trying to determine how bad my brain was altered from all the meds they put me on and took me off when i was in the hospital for the Akathasia. So i really dont know if i should hold and suffer or taper down and suffer. I am kind of at that point where i dont know whats causing all these problems. Affraid to take the meds and affraid not to take the meds.

 

Hi Freedom, 

 

Please be assured that the meds haven’t altered your brain permanently. It’s a temporary thing but even after you are off all the meds it still takes a while for the brain to reach equilibrium. It’s not like once you’re off the meds you’re fine straight away. Your brain has to balance itself again. Though eventually when it does it will go back to normal. We will all heal eventually.

 

If you look at my signature I was put on n off meds too, lots of them, I don’t even remember the names of most of them. It all started off with chronic pain n then a cocktail of meds. 

 

Everyone is different. I don’t really know about tapering heaps of drugs at the same time. If something is causing a problem I know it’s just the one drug now. I’m sorry you’re in this predicament.

 

So an anti nausea drug caused your akathisia? From everything I’m reading and everything I’ve gone through I’m really scared of all medication now. 

 

 

5 hours ago, Freedom1975 said:

Sorry if i am doing this wrong and posting here. I have been lowering my dose of Zoloft for a few months. I have been using a liquid formulation i make myself. If i make an error in one or two of my calculations can that cause withdrawal problems. Or is it that it has taken a few weeks for withdrawal effects to kick in hard? I have been on my current dose for about 2 and a half weeks now

 

Thx

 

Yes, errors in calculations can cause withdrawals, I’ve done it myself but I always eventually stabilise. It might take a while but I always get there in the end. 

 

Sometimes withdrawals dont hit straight after a taper either. It can take weeks and sometimes people have even been hit a month or more later. That’s why it’s important to go really slow and then hold for AT LEAST a month. 

 

Sometimes there’s no rhyme or reason as to what’s happening. Withdrawals aren’t linear. Sometimes what is okay one minute no longer works another time. I’ve had to slowly reduce the percentage that I taper by. 

 

All I know is that no matter how severe the waves have been I always eventually stabilise. Sometimes it’s taken a really long time and when in waves you think it’s never going to end, but it does.

 

Wishng you all the best💚

[Freedom1975]

Thanks for the encouragement. Metaclopermide was the nausea drug. Apparently a lot of nausea meds can have that effect. I have lost all faith in meds and doctors. I am also affraid of pens now. Doctors use those to write prescriptions lol

[Freedom1975]

The hardest part of all of this would be that i am still me inside. Trying to escape the physical and mental torture

[Carmie]

3 minutes ago, Freedom1975 said:

The hardest part of all of this would be that i am still me inside. Trying to escape the physical and mental torture

 

You are definitely still there Freedom, 

 

A lot of the emotions and all the weird feelings we get aren’t really us. They are chemical induced. We will get out of this chemical inducement one day. It may take a long time but we will get there. 

 

The main thing at the moment is to keep distracting yourself with things you love. You may feel numb and anhedonic and can’t quite muster up the love but keep on distracting yourself. We will get through this. It’s important to do things that get into flow. 

 

Just take a day at a time, some days an hour at a time, some days a minute at a time. Don’t worry about the next day, just stay in the moment. Do nice things for people too. I find doing things for others really helps too with withdrawals.

 

One day at a time💚

 

 

[Freedom1975]

Thankyou again. Hope we can talk some more 

[Carmie]

44 minutes ago, Freedom1975 said:

Thankyou again. Hope we can talk some more 

 

I’m always here for you Freedom, 

 

You can ask me anything. I don’t know that much, only what I’ve gone through and am going through and what I’ve read.

 

I really, really feel for people. It’s just my nature. If you want people to get a notification that you’ve left a message or a question just tag them by putting an @ in front of their name. For example, if you want to talk to me just put @Carmie and I will see the notification.

 

We can do this Freedom, it may take many years but we will get there in the end💚

[Freedom1975]

@carmie just tried the @ thing thanks for the site help. Lol if u can see this than it worked.

[Freedom1975]

These physical symptoms changing by the hour are brutal. The nausea and the pain are intense.

[wantrelief]

Hi Freedom - I am so sorry you are having a rough time.  It sounds like you have been through a lot over the last year or so.  Your title is so apt - this is hard.  I hope your symptoms settle down soon.

[Freedom1975]

@wantrelief your name says alot. Thanks for the kind words. I have been through ct before many times by the lovely doctors. I totally forgot about all the pain and physical symptoms associated with coming of these drugs. Hoping going slow kinda makes that a little more bearable. Odd how it goes away for an hour and then comes back

[Freedom1975]

Its heartbreaking reading all these stories of how our medical system has ruined so many lives

[Carmie]

9 hours ago, Freedom1975 said:

These physical symptoms changing by the hour are brutal. The nausea and the pain are intense.

 

Hi Freedom, 

 

So sorry that you are going through severe symptoms. Yes, everyone on this site is struggling. 

 

You need to keep distracting yourself when you’re in a wave. Do something that you enjoy, even if you’re feeling numb and anhedonic or anxious. I crochet a lot, watch Netflix and DVDs, edit photos I’ve taken, etc. You can play cards,  colour in, paint or draw, do crosswords the etc. 

 

Don’t get too stressed about the next day, just try and get through each moment as it comes, while at the same time knowing that another window will come. We never know when they come, but they always eventually do. 

 

In the end we will all be healed, it might take a long time but we will get there.

 

Here’s to taking a moment at a time💚💚

[Freedom1975]

@carmie have you ever heard of splitting doses of a med to help alleviate withdrawal effects. For example 5 mg at 8 am and 5mg at 8pm. I have been trying to find answers with no success. Wondering if you have tried it yourself or read something to that nature in your reading

 

Thx

Kevin

[Freedom1975]

Also is there a way to ask this question so everyone can see it?

[Freedom1975]

Sorry but i have a lot of questions to ask. I know i need to learn patience. I am not sure this is withdrawal or my other meds arent working anymore. I know there arent any sure fire answers. Really would love some advice on how to best deal with this and perhaps which are my best options on other pills i am taking

[wantrelief]

Hi Freedom - This is where you ask questions so you are in the right place.  Maybe write out exactly what your questions are so that a moderator can answer them.

[Freedom1975]

@wantrelief thanks. I asked a question earlier about splitting doeses of zoloft. Was that a good idea or bad idea?

[wantrelief]

I don't know the answer to your question but opefully a moderator will see you question soon!

[Carmie]

On 6/25/2018 at 11:51 AM, Freedom1975 said:

@carmie have you ever heard of splitting doses of a med to help alleviate withdrawal effects. For example 5 mg at 8 am and 5mg at 8pm. I have been trying to find answers with no success. Wondering if you have tried it yourself or read something to that nature in your reading

 

Thx

Kevin

 

Hi Kevin, I don’t really know anything about splitting meds throughout the  day etc. I’ve never done it myself. I only take the Seroquel in the evening. 

 

For the moderators to help you better it might be an idea to record on here what time you take your meds and when you get the different symptoms, as that way they will be better able to give you advice. They are very sick themselves with withdrawals but they will get to you when they can. 

 

Keeping a daily journal on here will help immensely. You said your symptoms change by the hour, recording them is a good idea. 

 

Because you’ve cold turkeyed so many drugs your poor body is trying hard to stabilise. What I know with my tapering is that it’s not a good idea to taper if your withdrawals are severe. We will always have withdrawal symptoms through this process of tapering, but I wait until mine are very low before I taper again. 

 

All the best to you on this journey, the hardest journey of our lives. I’m having trouble focusing, so I’m off to bed. Good night xx

 

 

 

 

 

[Freedom1975]

Thx

The whole situation is hard because i was never good on the dose of zoloft to start with.

8am klonopin.125mg and 2.5 mg propanolol

11am zoloft 11mg 

3pm 2.5 mg propanolol

5:30pm .125 mg klonopin

11pm .125mg klonopin 3.75mg zopiclone and 15 mg mirtazipine

The symptoms are morning dread and anxiety which seems pretty common on here. Usually lay in bed for a few hours trying to calm down. Everytime i eat now i get anxiety and terrible nausea. My brain feels dead. I will add more later. Cant think clearly at the moment and have to walk