jozeff: trying to come off of citalopram - a little help would be great

[jozeff]

Thanks a lot!!

 

I felt a lot better today. Docces with my son and my father in laws birthday. Do I had some nice things to do which is a nice distraction. Always surprised how things can change during a day.

 

Think about starting some private meditations. Breathing exercises for example.

 

Cheers!

 

Jozeff

[jozeff]

Hi guys,

 

Have been reading a lot about light therapy. I know there is a topic about it here but I wanted to ask you followers.....do you have any experience with that?

 

I feel that these dark days seem to ramp up my negative thoughts. 

 

Thank you all and have a nice day everybody!!

Jozeff

[xyz]

On 11/19/2018 at 8:57 AM, jozeff said:

Hi guys,

 

Have been reading a lot about light therapy. I know there is a topic about it here but I wanted to ask you followers.....do you have any experience with that?

 

I feel that these dark days seem to ramp up my negative thoughts. 

 

Thank you all and have a nice day everybody!!

Jozeff

 

yes, i have been using one for a couple of years, it has been really good, made a big difference

i have some hard time with winter every year.

[FarmGirlWorks]

On 11/16/2018 at 5:41 AM, jozeff said:

My psychologist calls this my expansion vessel. Very bad thoughts in your head so you can cope with reality. Just like killing your neighbor for making too much noise he said. You won't do it but the thought helps you cope.

Thank you for sharing concept of the expansion vessel. I've had some ugly suicidal and homicidal fantasies in the past few weeks. That helps re-frame them for me. Hang in there.

[jozeff]

You are welcome fgw!

 

This is not just an idea. My psychologist has been a therapist for 35 years and has his own practice. He knows his stuff.

 

He doesn't know a lot about medication unfortunately but he is specialized.in grieve, loss, anxiety and agression.

 

Have a nice day!

 

Jozeff

 

 

[jozeff]

Hi guys,

 

How are you all feeling? Hope everything is going well!

 

This weekend was ok for most part. Had some minor argument with my wife Saturday night about nothing really and she reacted pretty emotionally. We watched some TV and things were ok again.

 

Sunday night I felt sad and I told her that. She said that it's always something and that me not being well costs to much energy.  I said: what energy? You never do anything when I cry, feel bad or have anxiety attack. She just  does something by herself and waits for me to climb out of the abyss of misery myself. I obviously offended her by saying that and she walked away and started crying. 

 

I wanted to talk about this an hour later but her tears and loud voice made this conversation impossible. She offended me a few times and of course I said some evil stuff myself eventually. I become very nasty myself and start laughing, talking to my dead father, making a gun with my hand and pointing to my head etc.. just redicilous.

 

Our son started crying which of course was my fault. She went to bed with a headache. This morning things were still bad. We didn't say a word and we decided to stay at home independently decided.... We wanted to be alone at home but we were together suddenly..

 

I was pretty calm and she started about we should split, she would raise our unborn child by herself etc. In other words...the fight continued. I tried a calm approach but she kept raging, crying, red face and yelling that this was my last chance.

 

We've had our ups and downs the last 11 years. I suffered from alcoholism and she suffered immensely. I've had these depressed feelings for 25 years and since we met I've had issues.

 

I Know she deserves better. She's the sweetest girl I ever met. Splitting up will be devastating for me. I mean, I have these suicidal thoughts all the time while having a beautiful wife and son.

 

I wish I could be that strong man she could rely on. I am not that man. Especially since my WD from citalopram started I have major mood changes throughout the day. She cannot trust my mood she said. When I am down I feel like crying all the time so I walk around with a sad face.

 

I wish I could enjoy normal life some more. I have a great family that I always wanted. I just keep feeling so sad and these fights f..k up my CNS big time.

 

Last time it took more than a week before depersonalization, anxiety and irritability decreased a bit. This is just so hard.

 

I'm really looking for answers and solutions here.

 

These suicidal thoughts are killing me (which they are designed for actually...) .

I can't talk about these feelings at home and I have literally no friends. Whenever I talk about it at home she almost offers to bring me to the railroad herself.

 

She is a wonderful woman but she cannot handle my symptoms and behavior anymore.

 

I love her to death and don't want to loose her because she and my boy are what matters the most in my life.

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

[Leo1983]

You need to see someone from your local services if you feel this bad mate. 

 

I have all this that you have including feeling like i cant go on like this. Try reading some success stories or have a look on youtube at stories. 

 

Speak with your wife and educate her on what you are going through. Ask her to support you and you support her. 

 

It will pass...... just keep going. 

[India]

@jozeff very sorry to hear of your predicament. Please try to be kind to yourself. Take some time and maybe approach her when things have calmed. It's very hard for others to understand the hell of withdrawal . Can you show her the Bristol tranquilliser project which has info for family members!  Try not to project worst possible outcomes. You are both extremely stressed. Start with looking after yourself, once you are fuller you can give back . Maybe alert her to this. Love yourself back. This is a difficult patch but there will be light. It is normal to feel suicidal .. a very human reaction to distress.

[WarriorWomanLV]

Jozeff, im experiencing the same thing with my husband. I'm so sorry that we're going through this. 

[powerback]

On 11/26/2018 at 11:36 AM, jozeff said:

Hi guys,

 

How are you all feeling? Hope everything is going well!

 

This weekend was ok for most part. Had some minor argument with my wife Saturday night about nothing really and she reacted pretty emotionally. We watched some TV and things were ok again.

 

Sunday night I felt sad and I told her that. She said that it's always something and that me not being well costs to much energy.  I said: what energy? You never do anything when I cry, feel bad or have anxiety attack. She just  does something by herself and waits for me to climb out of the abyss of misery myself. I obviously offended her by saying that and she walked away and started crying. 

 

I wanted to talk about this an hour later but her tears and loud voice made this conversation impossible. She offended me a few times and of course I said some evil stuff myself eventually. I become very nasty myself and start laughing, talking to my dead father, making a gun with my hand and pointing to my head etc.. just redicilous.

 

Our son started crying which of course was my fault. She went to bed with a headache. This morning things were still bad. We didn't say a word and we decided to stay at home independently decided.... We wanted to be alone at home but we were together suddenly..

 

I was pretty calm and she started about we should split, she would raise our unborn child by herself etc. In other words...the fight continued. I tried a calm approach but she kept raging, crying, red face and yelling that this was my last chance.

 

We've had our ups and downs the last 11 years. I suffered from alcoholism and she suffered immensely. I've had these depressed feelings for 25 years and since we met I've had issues.

 

I Know she deserves better. She's the sweetest girl I ever met. Splitting up will be devastating for me. I mean, I have these suicidal thoughts all the time while having a beautiful wife and son.

 

I wish I could be that strong man she could rely on. I am not that man. Especially since my WD from citalopram started I have major mood changes throughout the day. She cannot trust my mood she said. When I am down I feel like crying all the time so I walk around with a sad face.

 

I wish I could enjoy normal life some more. I have a great family that I always wanted. I just keep feeling so sad and these fights f..k up my CNS big time.

 

Last time it took more than a week before depersonalization, anxiety and irritability decreased a bit. This is just so hard.

 

I'm really looking for answers and solutions here.

 

These suicidal thoughts are killing me (which they are designed for actually...) .

I can't talk about these feelings at home and I have literally no friends. Whenever I talk about it at home she almost offers to bring me to the railroad herself.

 

She is a wonderful woman but she cannot handle my symptoms and behavior anymore.

 

I love her to death and don't want to loose her because she and my boy are what matters the most in my life.

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

Hi jozeff reading this post got to my heart ,I feel you man .

So your wife is pregnant?,huge hormones fluctuation going on here ,your also going thru this mess ,its a tinder box thats for sure .

I have also seroius alcohol issues since I was young ,sober 3.8 years but its only the tip of the iceberg in relashion to my moods and trying to manage them .

Look seriously into mindfulness and being conscious of your moods and actions.

I have terrible gulit over how my moods would turn a normal situation toxic ,im getting beter at noticing it .lastnight I was in an awful mood but I made a conscious effort to hug my partner and be honest .she knows its nothing to do with her.

When your wife wants to split ,dont necessarily take it personally,its a normal human reaction to stress.

In my case the apple didnt fall far from the tree ,my brother and father have issues with there mental health and moods (no medication in there cases).

We need to keep working on reducing stress .

Keep the faith and your spirits up (oops alcohol pun there,unintentional ).

Take care.

[jozeff]

Hi thanks for reacting, appreciate it a lot!

 

I have been an alcoholic for years but I am clean now for almost 5 years.

 

We've had our share of problems in the past that is for sure.

 

My brain has had a lot of sh.. in the past. I used to drink heavily while on venlafaxine, that didn't help either.

 

My wife and my boy are there best that happened to me in my life. She helped me to stay of the booze and she does everything for me. It's just that I tend to F up things and don't look to far ahead. 

 

I am tapering my meds but have been on the same dose for 4 months and I am still a mess. I hope to get of meds one day and I hope my depressed feelings will fade in time. That all I wish for now. 

 

I have definitely not always felt like this. My citalopram helpede tremendously in the beginning but I developed some evil symptoms while using it. How will I know if this are side effects or it is just me??

 

Have a nice weekend!!

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

 

 

 

Edited December 1, 2018 by ChessieCat

[Miracle123]

16 hours ago, jozeff said:

have definitely not always felt like this. My citalopram helpede tremendously in the beginning but I developed some evil symptoms while using it. How will I know if this are side effects or it is just me??

Hi Jozeff,  For me, is a normal pattern because myself also faced the same problem. If not mistaken citalopram is a sister drug of lexapro.....im remember it worked well at started when i took it but the side effects is so scary when i took it for long time.Maybe my body need the dose adjustment or got bad reaction for this.At least im feel glad now got my freedom or release from this devil pills.

So sorry to hear that you still dealing with the waves quite some time.Mostly we facing here sound so familiar or almost the same problem.

i hope your body will get used it with current dose and get stable sooner. Acceptance, Patience and time will prove it. Take good care.

[jozeff]

Thanks guys, appreciate it.

 

The problem is that I have been on 18 mg citalopram for 4 months now. 

 

See my previous text......

(Started a citalopram taper in April 2018 and decreased 0.1 mg every day starting at 25 mg after being on it for 2 years.
After 85 days of tapering I crashed so I stayed on 16.5 mg for a couple of weeks. I felt so bad that I updosed to 18 mg and I'm on 18 mg citalopram now since August 14th 2018..)

 

I assumed that 4 months on the exact same dose, same brand, same time each day would be more than enough to feel stable but every day feels like such a struggle. 

 

I'm willing to wait another few months but I don't think I will be feeling better any time soon on this dose.

 

Could it be that this dose (18 mg) just isn't right for me? Maybe if I start a slow taper I will feel better on a lower dose? This feels like I'm standing still and not going anywhere....

 

Gridley any thoughts maybe?

 

Thanks guys!

 

Jozeff

 

 

[Gridley]

My suggestion would be to continue holding there and let's see how you feel in two months.  I know it doesn't feel like it, but holding is "doing something"--allowing your brain to stabilize.  

[India]

I have been on 6mg for 3.5 months and only just started to "stabilise". Still not a hundred percent but a big improvement this week. Once destabilised it takes a long time to stabilise. Agree with Gridley nothing is lost. Needing to do something got me into this fix in the first place. Who knows where I would be if I'd reduced slowly ??!!

[nick1990]

Hey Jozeff. I was in a very similar position a few years ago when I crashed from tapering too fast for my nervous system. 

 

I felt i was not stabilising but I couldn’t do anything , what was there to do ? 

I was told by some great people on this forum that with time I will stabilise . It was the only truth I could really hold onto . 

Once our system is destabilised badly from too fast tapering , it takes A LOT LONGER than we’d like to think . I’m living proof. I had horrible panic attacks, crying spells, deep depression , saw jaw, fatigue, OCD symptoms, derealisation - and it was intense for many months. 

All I knew to do was to calm myself and be  good to myself. With time Jozeff, stability happens. I got back to my calm self, but it did take about a year. 

 

It it will take time bro , but it’ll happen. You need to learn to deal with these things and not to dwell on them. It’s incredibly challenging at times, beyond belief - but it’s so worth it once you feel better - which you will. Just give it time and don’t start throwing around doses or adding other drugs. I don’t think tapering is a good idea. Your CNS is not stable and that is why these symptoms are presenting themselves - time is the medicine here.

 

Once your stable though you don’t want to start tapering straight away - give your system a rest. But you’ll be able to continue tapering successfully soon after . 

 

Ive tapered successfully for 1.5 years after my crash , which at the time I never thought I’d be able to do . I stabilised and tapered slowly ! I’m still in a bit of a wave from pushing it too hard so not tapering at the moment , but I have no doubt that I’ll stabilise and feel better soon.

 

be good to yourself - don’t stress , trust in the process . It works .

 

cheers 

 

Nick 

[jozeff]

Wow Nick, thanks man for your encouraging words! Appreciate it a lot.

 

At what dose did you crash and what dose did you stay on for 1.5 year?

 

I now it is somewhere in your topic somewhere but maybe you can tell me here.

 

I thought I'd be stable in a few months but because of my jumps from 15 mg citalopram to 25 and back a few times I've been pretty sensitised to this stuff. At least that's what I think. I have stese strange nervous and evil feelings iny neck and forehead that I never had before citalopram! Never!

 

So I guess I have to be patient. 

 

I did go to bed pretty late last week and it seems my WD symptoms don't really like that so it's rped up a bit.

 

I bought a therapy lightbox and I have been using it for three days now.

First day I felt awesome but today is not so great though....

Cheers and thanks again guys!!

 

Thank you too Gridley and India for your replies. You have no idea how great it is for me to see someone's response to my trouble!

 

 

Jozeff

[nick1990]

Hey bro,

 

I crashed on a high dose still , I essentially dropped from 50mg to 40mg and my system freaked out. I then went to 45 mg after 3 months of suffering. 

I don’t think the updose necessary helped much. But I waited 1 year until I felt good and stable.

 

I since have slowly reduced from 45mg to 22mg with only minor withdrawal symptoms. This has taken me about 1.5 years - I think I could have gone a little faster at times but I have had a very active, busy 18 months , moving country for 6 months, travelling, surfing, physically exerting myself too. 

Because of this I have taken month or so long breaks from tapering at times. 

 

You’ll be fine man, you just need to accept it for what it is and know that you’ll return to feeling well again. It’s just going to take time.

Being consistent with your sleep patterns and eating at similar times is a good idea.

 

All the best,

Nick 

[jozeff]

Thanks a lot Nick!

 

Appreciate it a lot.

 

I'm going to bed now because I need my sleep.

Hope you're doing just fine!

 

 

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

[jozeff]

Hi guys,

 

So i've bought a light therapy device and used it last week.

 

The first day I thought it was a miracle. Good mood all day and major placebo effect I guess.

 

Two days later I felt pretty bad in the afternoon. This big depressed cloud was hanging over me and a felt very bad and off.

 

I hoped for a miracle but that didn't happen unfortunately. Well is it too soon to tell? I don't know. Thing is that I didn't feel worse then last weeks so that is positive.

 

I feel pretty calm when sitting in front of all that light but I don't know if it helps me a few hours later.

 

Stll going up and down a lot. ...anxiety, depressed, depersonalisation and other problems. Not horribly bad bud the can creep up on me any time and that is the most frustrating part.

 

Trying to stabilize on 18 mg citalopram but have no idea how to know i'm stable and if that will ever happen...

 

Have a nice day you all!!

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

 

 

[Happy2Heal]

hi Jozeff

 

sorry to hear your experience with the light box hasn't been good so far.

I got one of these last year, and tried it for a few days.. at first I thought it helped, but then it seemed like things were worse.

 

then I decided to read in the instructions that come with the light box , hahaha, should have done that first!

it says to start out at a low intensity and work up, as some ppl will be sensitive to it.

 

for me it ramped up my anxiety, at least that's how I felt at the time.

I put the light box away, thinking I'd use it in the winter if I got to feeling depressed, but over the summer I needed some quick cash, so I sold it.

 

I don't know for sure, but I feel like I get better results from just going out, as early in the day as I can, and standing or walking where there's sun.

I know this is hard in the winter!! 

 

have you tried these two little tricks? try keeping your head up, like, say you are walking and there's someone coming towards you, you want your head up to where you are looking just above that person's head. At  a slight angle, you know? there was research done that showed that just doing this helps to boost your mood

 

the other thing they found is that even a forced smile will help trick your mind into boosting your mood a wee bit. this won't be a huge change but sometimes it's just enough to get you thru, you know?

I wish I could find the sources for this info, I don't remember if I read about these two tricks in a book or online. I"ll google it now and see if I can find it. Edited to add: FOUND one, it's not the one I read before but it's close: https://thriveglobal.com/stories/the-8-secrets-to-using-your-body-to-instantly-boost-your-mood/

 

I hope someone who uses a light box with good results will come along and help you out with yours. I recall you're supposed to have the box on a shelf and off to the side, not looking at it directly........

I wouldn't expect to see instant results (which is why, like you, I figured the initial boost in mood was just the placebo effect, but the increase in my anxiety seemed very real and it wasn't expected, so, I don't know what to think about that)

 

good luck

Edited December 9, 2018 by Happy2Heal
added link

[Miracle123]

18 minutes ago, jozeff said:

 Stll going up and down a lot. ...anxiety, depressed, depersonalisation and other problems. Not horribly bad bud the can creep up on me any time and that is the most frustrating part.

 

Trying to stabilize on 18 mg citalopram but have no idea how to know i'm stable and if that will ever happen...

Hi Jozeff, 

Nobody here can accurate give you an answer about this. The only way is keep record on magnitude and frequency of the withdrawals and monitoring your progress. At least in this forum i can feel somebody understanding and we are not alone here.Withdrawals is really awful and frustrating . I hate it too.....

Always stay postive and believe yourself you can do it. At least you will trying anything to help you ease a bit and same as me too😁

I hope your withdrawals will slowly ease and stable sooner. Take care.

[Miracle123]

So sorry i cannot give you any advice about the light box.......im never use it. Hope mobs here can give your more details about this.😁

[JackieDecides]

 

Quote

 

hoped for a miracle but that didn't happen unfortunately. Well is it too soon to tell? I don't know. Thing is that I didn't feel worse then last weeks so that is positive.

 

I feel pretty calm when sitting in front of all that light but I don't know if it helps me a few hours later.

 

 

I have posted about this other places, but I think it's appropriate here. my first experience with light was from the sun and could not have been placebo because I didn't know I was depressed. I was living in Minnesota and went to AZ for Christmas and after a couple days of being outside my mood lifted like a helium balloon. 

since then I tried a light therapy device once before and believe it helped. 

 

this last month, I got a new Happy Light from verilux and started using it at 15 minutes, now increased to 60 minutes every morning. I feel like it is helping me but it was a subtle difference and so subjective. and since I have both depression and anxiety I am monitoring, that complicates things. but I think it helped and it took maybe 4 or 5 days. 

 

ETA: I felt no difference whatsoever while sitting in front of the light

 

 

Edited December 9, 2018 by JackieDecides
re-read what I was quoting

[jozeff]

Thanks for your replies guys!

 

Feedback is always great!

 

Today I didn't use the lamp and I felt awesome nmost of the day. Coincidence probably...will try the lamp again this week. Some people have effect in 5 minutes and others in 2 weeks....

 

Cheers

 

 

Jozeff

 

[jozeff]

Hi fellow sufferers,

 

I am sad to say that my beloved and only sister called me two days ago to tell me she has breast cancer.

 

She is the sweetest person on Earth and this news broke my heart. I've been feeling very low and nervous since. Like it ramped up my symptoms. I cried, that's a good thing because I rarely can, but I found this pretty devastating to hear.

 

She lives 1000 km away from me. Our wonderful dad died 3 years ago. He got terribly ill after having skin cancer for a few weeks.

 

This is just so intensely sad to see people suffer like this. I think about our little family when we were kids and happiness seemed to last forever.....

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

[wantrelief]

I am so sorry to hear about your sister, Jozeff.  It is understandable this news would ramp up your symptoms.  I hope that the cancer was caught early and your sister will be ok.  I am thinking about you and hoping the best for your sister (and you) - WR.

[nick1990]

I am sorry for the bad news Jozeff. I really am. It’s hard enough for anyone to deal with but much tougher for someone going through withdrawal.  I hope she will be ok . 

 

Its important to realise that this WD stuff after your too fast taper is going to take a good amount of time to settle. I wish there was a way to speed it up , but there isn’t. You need to be kind to yourself , gentle, loving and accepting. Talking from experience from when I crashed in 2015/2016,  the waves will chop and change, ease and then intensify again . You’ll have days of feeling normal and then days on end of feeling horrendous. 

It feels so hard and scary and impossible- but when your feeling bad and the symptoms are intense , you just need to keep treading, one foot in front of the other - managing as best you can and letting the time pass. That’s all you need to do, let the time pass and eventually you will start to improve , you will slowly start to feel better - it’s subtle and almost impossible to tell at first but you just keep going , knowing that you will eventually stabilise. It’s going to take time though. I wouldn’t be surprised if your looking at many months until your truly stable. I’m sorry to say this , but once your through it you come out wiser than ever before , and all this WD stuff fades away. You don’t remember it like you think you would, you go back to being happy and feeling calm and good in yourself. I know my crash in 2015 was pretty horrendous from the notes I wrote down and it went on and on and on .. but I’ve since gone on and had an amazing couple of years of feeling good and content, living my life as I want to . 

It will happen for you too. Just give it time.

 

cheers

Nick 

[jozeff]

Thanks guys I appreciate it very much!

 

Well, I have been on the same dose since August 14th and I still don't feel stable at all. I didn't CT my meds just tapered a bit fast and updosed 1.5 mg. I wouldn't think that would make me feel awful for months. But hey, I went from 25 to 16.5 mg citalopram from April to June 2018 and that is probably haunting me I guess. I still find it hard to believe that has so much influence right now. 

 

The feeling that I'm just a wreck mentally is creeping in.

 

The probably years of tapering ahead of me makes me feel so hopeless sometimes.

 

I have to keep strong! My sister is a much more positive person than I am so no need to cry. She is full of strength and power and is going to fight this ugly cancer. No time for me to complain about some meds😉😉

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

 

[RusTW]

Jozeff-sorry to hear about your sister.Stay strong but let your emotions out.

 

I lost my father a few years back from lung cancer.I picked up and left los Angeles to be with him.My mom is now terminal.We have to b there for them buddy.

I broke down 6 months later and then I turned to these poisons.Here I'm in w/d but I still go c moms everyday.

Keep your head up friend.

 

Russ

[Miracle123]

Hi Jozeff, im so sorry to hear that about your sister. You need to be strong to give her support and positive energy during these difficulties.Show her a lots love and caring.

This remember me few year back when my dad passed away....left my mum alone. im always give my support and accompanies her whatever i can do it to keep away from sad and crying.

God bless you and your sister. Take care.

 

[jozeff]

Hi Nick Rus and miracle,

 

Thanks a lot for your support. Means a lot to me. Today is a lot better fortunately because I'm at Disneyland for 4 days wuthy family.

 

Made me scared to not be home and stuff but now I'm here everything seems to be ok so far.

 

Thanks again and cheers jozeff

[jozeff]

Hi guys,

 

A lot of fun in Disneyland! It's just that I'm scared of getting a panic attack when I'm out of my comfort zone. I used to take a beer or 2 (15 probably....) To calm things down and to enjoy life.

 

I was treated for alcoholism and have been sober since April 19th 2014.

 

That is really the hardest thing I ever did. The instant relief alcohol gave me..oh boy..

Like killing my best friend and live on without him. That's how it felt. I've been grieving for months in 2014. 

 

Still think about it often but I'm absolutely determined never ever to drink one drop.

 

 

Cheers and wish you all the best from Paris!

 

 

Jozeff

[jozeff]

Hi guys,

 

So I went to Paris with my family to Disneyland. We had a wonderful time although it was very cold and busy. Feels good to be together with my family for a few days.

 

A lot of distraction and the kids had a great time.

 

I am trying to keep keep up with all the posts but lately I find it hard to read everything. I want to help people and be inspired by other stories. Thing is that Everytime I open the form there are dozens of replies. 

 

there are so many people with so many stories that I am losing track here.

 

How do you guys keep things structured?

 

I want to learn from peoples stories but I want to focus on those with comparable problems/medication history etc.

 

It is just too much to read every day. Sometimes I'm getting a little stressed because I cannot read everything and I'm affraid I missed something or forget about someone who's in need.

 

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff.

[Gridley]

It's great you want to help, but remember to take care of yourself first.  You don't want to overload yourself.

[Carmie]

Hi Jozeff, 

 

I’m so sorry to hear about your sister, that must be very hard for you. Sending you hugs.🤗

 

That’s wonderful that you got to Disneyland with your family and you all had a great time. It really helps to have great memories to look back on when going through withdrawals. I’m a major photoholic so I always have photos to look back on too. Editing them is a good distraction too when going through waves. 

 

You have a good heart in wanting to help people on here and it is much appreciated. Take care of yourself first though as Gridley said. Do what you can when you can, and when you can’t just know you will still have opportunities to help others in the future when you are doing a bit better. Don’t stress about it, just keep getting better and continue to heal and one day you will be a success story, and you will certainly help people that way as well. 

 

I hope you have many many more happy days like you did at Disneyland. 

 

Sending sunshine your way☀️☀️☀️