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Adili13: Paxil withdrawal - questions and concerns

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Adili13

Cooked with a little bit of wine today and feeling a bit loopy. Won’t be doing that again. Oh, withdrawal. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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sunnysideup69
10 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Cooked with a little bit of wine today and feeling a bit loopy. Won’t be doing that again. Oh, withdrawal. 

 

Yup. I was so tempted to do that, recently. Didn't do it, was too scared. Seems even minimal amounts are triggering. 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Adili13

@sunnysideup69 Right. It didn’t even really occur to me till after I felt a bit weird after eating. Oh well. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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sunnysideup69
1 hour ago, Adili13 said:

@sunnysideup69 Right. It didn’t even really occur to me till after I felt a bit weird after eating. Oh well. 

Easily done, dont beat self up! 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Adili13

@sunnysideup69 yeahhh, the OCD train has kind of left the station. Did I create a setback? Am I going to be ok? Etc etc....I’m sure you’ve been there. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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sunnysideup69
10 hours ago, Adili13 said:

@sunnysideup69 yeahhh, the OCD train has kind of left the station. Did I create a setback? Am I going to be ok? Etc etc....I’m sure you’ve been there. 

 

Oh yes......totally. So many things to potentially ruminate over. Gah! I think once that has begun, you kind of have to accept it has begun and just ride it....ugh. I've been there MANY times.

Feeling slightly wonky myself, this early morning. WD is weird and unpredictable. It's also hard to distact from it, being so unoccupied at the moment.


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Adili13

@sunnysideup69 Right! So hard not to overanalyze every little thing and every potential slip-up. It’s total mind-****ery! Sorry you’re a bit off today, I’m sure it’s a blip and you’ll be doing better again soon. If I recall, you were saying you were doing better just a couple of days ago? Sure you’ll get back there soon, and eventually, it’ll be a constant thing when your CNS is ready. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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sunnysideup69
25 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

@sunnysideup69 Right! So hard not to overanalyze every little thing and every potential slip-up. It’s total mind-****ery! Sorry you’re a bit off today, I’m sure it’s a blip and you’ll be doing better again soon. If I recall, you were saying you were doing better just a couple of days ago? Sure you’ll get back there soon, and eventually, it’ll be a constant thing when your CNS is ready. 

Thanks buddy, yeah, feeling a bitnweird today....think I have a cold, got a sore throat and am a bit shivery.


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Adili13

Akathisia is kicking my ass tonight. Wondering if holding is helping at all. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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sunnysideup69

I definitely think holding is helping. Hang on in there, pal. By the way, do you have any magnesium salts...really recommend a magnesium salts bath, for calming and relaxing.  


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Adili13

@sunnysideup69 thank you my friend. I truly cherish your encouragement and help. I think I do, actually. I’ll have to check. That’s for the suggestions and always having injecting hope into my thread. It helps more than you know!! Xxx


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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sunnysideup69
17 hours ago, Adili13 said:

@sunnysideup69 thank you my friend. I truly cherish your encouragement and help. I think I do, actually. I’ll have to check. That’s for the suggestions and always having injecting hope into my thread. It helps more than you know!! Xxx

 

You're most welcome :) We're all in this together, and we'll all recover, given time.


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Adili13

Reaction to cooked wine has really ramped up my akathisia to a new level. Having trouble sleeping at all. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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sunnysideup69
2 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Reaction to cooked wine has really ramped up my akathisia to a new level. Having trouble sleeping at all. 

 

Oh gosh, so sorry.It's really tough. When I read your post about cooking with wine, it reminded me that in April last year, I had one glass of prosecco. ONE. It knocked me into a long wave with some horrible peaks of anxiety. I haven't touched any alcohol since then.

The akisthisia peak should calm back to 'normal' level, just keep on calming and soothing. More magnesium salts baths. No sugar. Treat nervous system really gently.Sending a hug xxx


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Longroadhome
3 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Reaction to cooked wine has really ramped up my akathisia to a new level. Having trouble sleeping at all. 

It will pass just give it time 

our bodies are so sensitive while in the throes of WD 

treat yourself gently while it settles 

thinking of you 

LRH 


October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Adili13

@sunnysideup69 @Longroadhome

 

thank you guys. Really needed your words today. I appreciate you both more than you know. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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Longroadhome
2 hours ago, Adili13 said:

@sunnysideup69 @Longroadhome

 

thank you guys. Really needed your words today. I appreciate you both more than you know. 

You’ll get there Adili I know for sure you will.  

we all walk this path together and together we will recover.  

it took time for ADs to change snd re route our systems and it’s going to take time for this to reverse. 

in the meantime we are very lucky to have friends on this site that understand what we are going through and are there to  support us. 
you are strong 

you are resilient 
after WD is over there will be compensation you will be wiser stronger and able to cope with whatever challenges life throws at you . Keep going and head towards the recovery rainbow 🌈 It’s there waiting for you just a little further ahead ..


October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Adili13

@Longroadhome you are amazing and I cherish your support and friendship. Thank you so much for always popping on to my page, LRH. You are truly a gem. We will get there, dear friend. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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Adili13

Does anyone have stories of akathisia going away from holding at a higher dose? I’m really starting to think this hold is pretty pointless. Aka full-bore again tonight. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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sunnysideup69
On 5/23/2020 at 12:19 AM, Adili13 said:

Does anyone have stories of akathisia going away from holding at a higher dose? I’m really starting to think this hold is pretty pointless. Aka full-bore again tonight. 

@Adili13, sounds like you're still reacting to the cooked wine experiment, cos that's when the aka ramped up? Try to remind yourself of that when you feel like holding is pointless. I'm no expert but if the wine destabilised you more, then starting a taper now would likely be not a good move.Maybe also tag a moderator and ask their advice, they are more knowledgeable.


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Longroadhome

@Adili13

do you ever wonder if you are still in Lamictal WD? 
looking at your signature you took it for over a year and tapered very fast finishing in 2018 . 
what are your thoughts ?  


October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Adili13

@sunnysideup69 I think you’re right. Logically, it’s probably the worst time possible to start tapering again. I guess the mind just goes into panic once symptoms get worse. I talked to brass via PM and he basically echoed what you said. It takes time to get over these reactions. Usually a few weeks or even longer. 
@Longroadhome I have absolutely had this thought, and I believe you aren’t the first person to suggest it to me. It’s easy for me to forget about this because it was so long ago, but I’m certain it plays a role in why I’m still so sick and so debilitated. Maybe a huge role! 
 

Thanks guys! 

 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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Adili13

2 weeks into this wine reaction with no sign of it letting up or getting better. Thoughts are getting extremely dark and I basically feel paralyzed by inaction. So afraid and upset. Just venting, as per usual. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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Cocopuffz17

It will get better! You are stronger than you know! I had to completely cut out alcohol. I thought every time I was feeling better I could just have some and WDs quickly reminded me that is not the case. 

 

Everyday that passes is one day closer to being healed :) 


I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

 

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

 

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
 

2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

 

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Adili13

@Cocopuffz17 thank you. So afraid I’ve been completely and utterly derailed just from cooking with alcohol. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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sunnysideup69
On 5/26/2020 at 7:00 PM, Adili13 said:

2 weeks into this wine reaction with no sign of it letting up or getting better. Thoughts are getting extremely dark and I basically feel paralyzed by inaction. So afraid and upset. Just venting, as per usual. 

 

Sending hugs. 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Longroadhome
On 5/26/2020 at 7:00 PM, Adili13 said:

2 weeks into this wine reaction with no sign of it letting up or getting better. Thoughts are getting extremely dark and I basically feel paralyzed by inaction. So afraid and upset. Just venting, as per usual. 

Take one day one hour one step at a time 

it will go away 

It could be coincidental and nothing to do with the wine . Maybe a wave that was going to happen anyway . And we know they do go away . 
Be patient you have your friends right here to help you 


October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Adili13

@Longroadhome It’s really knocked me on my ass. Feel like I’m hanging on by a thread. Thanks for stopping by, friend. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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Cocopuffz17
8 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

@Longroadhome It’s really knocked me on my ass. Feel like I’m hanging on by a thread. Thanks for stopping by, friend. 

You will get through it. Keep doing what you are doing minus the wine! You got this! 


I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

 

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

 

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
 

2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

 

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Adili13

Thanks coco! 
 

My withdrawal is chaotic and so strange. I see a lot of people that have these week long waves or like some kind of pattern to their symptoms. Mine feel SO all over the place. One hour is akathisia, the next is a neuro-wave, the next is extreme dizziness...it’s like there’s no rhyme or reason to any of it. Feels like the opposite of stabilizing. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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Adili13

Anyone suffer with bouts of insane dizziness and confusion for weeks on end after a reaction to alcohol? It was cooked alcohol, I might add. Starting to think this is more than withdrawal and something else. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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sunnysideup69

@Adili13, it's likely still the wine effect, unfortunately. Remember, your system is really sensitive and any knock can make it wobble for a while. It's unsettled.

 

Do you feel unwell with a temperature or anything?

 

 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Longroadhome
3 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Anyone suffer with bouts of insane dizziness and confusion for weeks on end after a reaction to alcohol? It was cooked alcohol, I might add. Starting to think this is more than withdrawal and something else. 

Hello Adili 

are you sure it’s the alcohol and not a wave! 
my waves still last  for weeks with  small windows here and there so whose to say yours it the alcohol and not a wave ? Mine come in for mo reason at all. Very frustrating !!! 
 

Sometimes we  try and tie things into something that happened at the time when really there’s no rhyme or reason . It would have happened regardless . 
 

and if it was because of the alcohol I can guarantee it will ease because again it has brought on a wave and waves don’t last forever. 

you're a strong person and have demonstrated this by remaining steadfast on your med and not going up or down or changing to another . 
therefore you are giving yourself The very best chance to stabilise. And stabilise you will! You’re getting closer every day. 
 

stay focused Adili you are stronger than you think my friend 😊


October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Cocopuffz17
4 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Anyone suffer with bouts of insane dizziness and confusion for weeks on end after a reaction to alcohol? It was cooked alcohol, I might add. Starting to think this is more than withdrawal and something else. 

I sure do. I completely avoid it all together. 


I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

 

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

 

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
 

2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

 

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Adili13

@sunnysideup69 no temperature at all. I think you’re probably right

 

@Longroadhome thank you my friend, that’s a super nice message. Just gotta hold on and hope to stabilize more. It’s been insane! Maybe it’s a combo of the reaction and a wave. The thing is, I never had this crazy dizziness prior to the reaction. 
 

thanks you guys appreciate you!!! <3333


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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Adili13

Having trouble finding @brassmonkey's essay on how healing is always happening. I remember referring to it for support back in the day. If anyone could point me to it, that would be great!

It was a multi-part essay on many different types and aspects of WD. Thanks!


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

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