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Adili13

Adili13: Paxil withdrawal - questions and concerns

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Longroadhome

Stick with the pill now that you’re  on it that’s what I’d do. Then when you start getting lower do a cross over meaning don’t just go from one to the other do half and half for about a week before swapping completely .  

 

No stay where you are . 

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Longroadhome
7 hours ago, Adili13 said:

I really think I’m having an Akathisia reaction after uprising to 20 mg from 18. I was very anxious on 18, but this is different. I can’t sleep, grinding teeth, can’t stop tossing and turning. It’s only been a couple weeks since I upped to 20. You really don’t think dropping a tiny bit, like half a milligram or even less might help? 

Your having these reactions most probably because yr in panic mode. I can gather as much from your replies. I’m sure the mods would say going up and down on meds even at tiny doses is not advisable. Just stay put and let your body heal. You’re  not giving yourself chance . Read back on your thread your changing your mind and questioning yourself when in panic mode. These are neuro exadurated  emotions and you have to learn not to act on them . 

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Longroadhome

I know how you feel and hundreds more on this site, probably thousands will, as we’re all going through the same awful process of w/d. Yes it’s so very scary but please remember you’re not alone and your time to write a success story to help people like you and me just starting out on our journey will come . 

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Adili13

You’ve been a real help during this time. I can’t thank you enough. It’s been a rough few months for sure. Once I stabilize I can think about making changes, for now, I’ll stay put 

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Adili13

I have faith we will all recover one day

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Longroadhome

I know for sure we will !!

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Longroadhome

I planted a magnolia tree in my garden a couple of years ago . It was bear and all twigs and remained like that for two years I thought it was dead. This year I was going to dig it up and throw it out but  it came to life and has the most beautiful flowers on it . I just had to wait patiently for it to bloom . 

Thats what we have to do hold tight until we bloom once more . 

 

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Adili13

Yes, you’re right. I like that story. It brought up nice imagery. I just feel like this updose two weeks ago hasn’t helped me at all.  If anything, it’s made me more agitated, anxious, and has made it harder for me to sleep. I know I can’t keep changing up and down, I just don’t feel good on this dose at all. If anything, I felt better at 18 even tho I was panicking more. It was a fear I could at least somewhat rationalize with. With this updose, I feel out of control, like my brain is completely out of my reach. 

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Adili13

If any mods could offer advice too, that’d be great too. 

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Adili13

Like, it’s a feeling of wanting to jump out of my own skin. Much like the definition says. It’s very different than anxiety or panic. Panic is like I’m frozen and can’t move. This is like a totally different feeling entirely. It doesn’t have the ebb and flow that anxiety does 

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brassmonkey

It sounds like things were more manageable when you were on 18mg.  Right now the thing is to pick a dose as stick to it for several months so your body can stabilize.  Part of what is happening is that the taper of the lamictal that you did last year is catching up with you and the paxil is not being able to mask it that well.  It's going to take awhile for things to settle out.

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Adili13

Ok, so you think I should go as low as 18 and wait a while? Or should I go to like 19 or 19.5? Or is it more my call. Thanks for responding :) 

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Adili13

I’ve been on 20 a little over 2 weeks FYI 

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Adili13

?? 

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apace41

Adili13,

 

You are, understandably, reacting strongly to the adverse symptoms you are having.  That is perhaps the toughest part of all of this as we have been conditioned by society to "take something" or "do something" when we feel like crap.  Learning to simply "be with it" seems impossible but in reality it is not.  Learning how to self-soothe, whether using music, breathing, meditation, exercise, journaling, etc. is a life skill that will stand you in good stead if you are able to find a "thing" that helps you when things are rough.

 

As far as the pill level goes, I'm not sure it makes all that much difference.  I'd opt for 18mg as my first option, however, given that 20mg is a single pill and will be easier and require less "chemistry" (which frequently reinforces the feeling you are patient), I would not be opposed to sticking at 20mg if that is just easier given your current state.  In my view you have bounced up and down a little, tried the Lamictal, threw a Valium at it, etc. and are basically looking for what Whitaker would call the "magic bullet."  There is none.  And each time you make a shift or add a med or supplement you confuse the CNS so that it takes time to reorient.  

 

In short, pick one -- 18 or 20 and stay there.  For a good while.  Until you (hopefully) start to feel more like yourself. Then we can address restarting your taper.  Try to live clean and do a little exercise, eat well, drink a lot of water, etc. and surround yourself with people you feel good with (I'm sorry about your girlfriend -- we hear that a lot).  The ship will turn around but it's a marathon -- not a sprint.

 

Best,

 

Andy

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Longroadhome
6 hours ago, apace41 said:

Adili13,

 

You are, understandably, reacting strongly to the adverse symptoms you are having.  That is perhaps the toughest part of all of this as we have been conditioned by society to "take something" or "do something" when we feel like crap.  Learning to simply "be with it" seems impossible but in reality it is not.  Learning how to self-soothe, whether using music, breathing, meditation, exercise, journaling, etc. is a life skill that will stand you in good stead if you are able to find a "thing" that helps you when things are rough.

 

As far as the pill level goes, I'm not sure it makes all that much difference.  I'd opt for 18mg as my first option, however, given that 20mg is a single pill and will be easier and require less "chemistry" (which frequently reinforces the feeling you are patient), I would not be opposed to sticking at 20mg if that is just easier given your current state.  In my view you have bounced up and down a little, tried the Lamictal, threw a Valium at it, etc. and are basically looking for what Whitaker would call the "magic bullet."  There is none.  And each time you make a shift or add a med or supplement you confuse the CNS so that it takes time to reorient.  

 

In short, pick one -- 18 or 20 and stay there.  For a good while.  Until you (hopefully) start to feel more like yourself. Then we can address restarting your taper.  Try to live clean and do a little exercise, eat well, drink a lot of water, etc. and surround yourself with people you feel good with (I'm sorry about your girlfriend -- we hear that a lot).  The ship will turn around but it's a marathon -- not a sprint.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sounds like a good plan. 

Whats your story Andy ? 

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apace41
55 minutes ago, Longroadhome said:

Sounds like a good plan. 

Whats your story Andy ? 

 

Here I am, LRH -- in print:
 

Best,

 

Andy

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Adili13

Hey everyone,

 

So, I just got my bloodwork done and it seems my b12, folate, and vitamin d are all super low. Has anyone else had this happen? I know taking supplements during withdrawal is risky, and I’m not exactly stable right now. Should I wait to stabilize before I try supplementing? 

 

Anthony 

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ChessieCat
On 4/13/2019 at 5:47 AM, Adili13 said:

Topic title:  Music that heals: Wilco

 

I’ve been listening to Wilco pretty much nonstop for withdrawal symptoms. I highly recommend “Cry All Day”. Lyrics, tone, and the way it sound somehow validate how I feel and how rough this is. This song helps me allow myself to feel bad, without getting all bent out of shape about it. Withdrawal sucks, we can all cry about it. 

 

 

I've moved your post to an existing topic:  music-what-music-helps-you-put-it-here

 

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ChessieCat
On 1/15/2019 at 10:02 AM, Adili13 said:

I’ve been watching Bob Ross on Netflix and have found it incredibly soothing. It’s funny, it’s the type of thing I would find super hokey/uninteresting pre-withdrawal, but find it so calming. Just an idea for anyone feeling burnt out by withdrawal. 

 

I've moved your post to an existing topic:  movies-that-wont-frazzle-your-nervous-system

 

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Adili13

Thanks Chessie :)

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Longroadhome

Hi Anthony how are you ? 

I read all of Andy’s aka apace41 thread . It’s really good reading for the likes of you and I regarding tapering after a too fast start. 

I’ve decided to continue my thread in the same way so that it gives people an idea of what to expect during w/d.

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Adili13

Hey LongRoad. 

 

Hanging in there. Decided on a dose and have been holding there for about a week. 19.4 mg. 

 

No crazy symptoms. Just morning anxiety and trying not to freak out over the state I’m in/catastrophizing. 

 

How about you friend? How’s everything?

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Adili13

Oh, and trying not to beat myself up over not working. That’s my biggest struggle lately. 

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Longroadhome
2 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Oh, and trying not to beat myself up over not working. That’s my biggest struggle lately. 

Try not to worry about that for now it appears lots cant work at first but they eventually return . 

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Longroadhome
2 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Hey LongRoad. 

 

Hanging in there. Decided on a dose and have been holding there for about a week. 19.4 mg. 

 

No crazy symptoms. Just morning anxiety and trying not to freak out over the state I’m in/catastrophizing. 

 

How about you friend? How’s everything?

Good for you. I’m hanging in there too !

new symptoms that fluctuate  throughout the day. Holding at 8.5mg until I feel stable. Hairy and scary but it has to be done. The only way for you and I is off 

 the Paxil. Keep going ;) I’m cheering you on ! 

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Adili13

I couldn’t agree more. There’s only one way out! I envy the fact that you’re further along than me haha. Then again, there are ppl on here that are tapering starting at like 60 mg. We all have our own journey but we will all heal. Cheering you on as well good friend! 

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Longroadhome
1 minute ago, Adili13 said:

I couldn’t agree more. There’s only one way out! I envy the fact that you’re further along than me haha. Then again, there are ppl on here that are tapering starting at like 60 mg. We all have our own journey but we will all heal. Cheering you on as well good friend! 

Well further down I may be but my symptoms are not so good most days  to put it mildly.  Like you I’m in a state but so determined to be free Anthony . And you are too so we continue our journey onward . 

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Adili13

As long as we have the dream to be free, we have hope. We will reach our goal, no matter how long it takes. Idc if it takes me the rest of my life, I’ll never stop trying to get off this drug. 

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Longroadhome
6 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

As long as we have the dream to be free, we have hope. We will reach our goal, no matter how long it takes. Idc if it takes me the rest of my life, I’ll never stop trying to get off this drug. 

When my dr said patients found it very hard to get off this drug  I never imagined the nightmare I’d be enduring . One day st a time with some days unbearable others bearable and once in a while a good day pops up.  

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Adili13

How could you? It’s impossible to imagine how terrible it is. None of us would’ve ever gone on the drugs if we knew it could be this bad. 

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Longroadhome
2 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

How could you? It’s impossible to imagine how terrible it is. None of us would’ve ever gone on the drugs if we knew it could be this bad. 

Do have to say I think we are brave

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Adili13

We are! Warriors! So many strong people on this site. Us included :) 

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Longroadhome
1 minute ago, Longroadhome said:

Do have to say I think we are brave

Also I was messaging someone on here that started the same time as me and they seem to have disappeared off the site . 

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Longroadhome
Just now, Longroadhome said:

Also I was messaging someone on here that started the same time as me and they seem to have disappeared off the site . 

We sure are warriors !!!! 

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