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LLiz: I don't think of myself as being in withdrawal anymore


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LLiz's introduction topic is here: ☼-lliz-still-not-able-to-jump-off-mirtazapine

 

 

An update:

 

Ok, it's hard to say whether I am completely symptom-free yet.  I have had several other major and long-lasting health problems this last year which have caused pain, disability, sleep disturbances, and fatigue.

 

One of the harder adjustments has been continuing again with technical learning and studying.  But this has been influenced by my trouble believing that I can actually think and remember again after some of the extreme difficulties I had during my withdrawal.  The fair amount of interrupted sleep and disability due to my other health issues hasn't helped.  And the withdrawal lasted so long that I have needed to do a lot of reviewing to get up to speed again, which seemed like cognitive dysfunction at first to my low-confidence feelings, but wasn't really.

 

One thing is definitely true: I don't think of myself as being in withdrawal anymore.

 

All the best to the many of you who are struggling so much yet!

 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
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On 30 - 45 mg mirtazapine for more than 10 years.

 

Tapered mirtazapine, ziprasidone, and dextroamphetamine (both added at some point to reduce mirtazapine side effects) since August, 2012, one at a time. Stopped ziprasidone in 2012, dextroamphetamine in 2013, mirtazapine in 2016.

 

April 1 2015 dose: 0.29 mg.

May 1 2015 dose: 0.28 mg. Although holding for only 2 weeks so far, feeling much better!

June 1 2015 dose: 0.275 mg. Needed to start withdrawing again because of adverse drug effect.

July 1: 0.23 mg. Aug 1: 0.16 mg. Sept 1: 0.14 mg. Oct 1: 0.12 mg. March 10, 2016: 0.08 mg. March 20: 0 mg.

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I have been thinking some more about whether I have recovered from my psych drug use and withdrawal symptoms.  I really think yes, aside from occasionally making adjustments to post-withdrawal life like the one I wrote about in my last post. 

 

Sometimes something still happens that's reminiscent of withdrawal.  Several months ago, I suddenly found myself lying on the concrete while walking and ended up with a painful injury.  During withdrawal, several times I also just suddenly ended up on the ground. It never happened to be on concrete, so I didn't get injured.  But falls certainly happen to people who have never taken psych drugs, too.

 

I still have tinnitus.  But I don't know that withdrawal caused it.  And it is stable and usually easy to ignore.

 

When I got pneumonia this year, I did start to notice a few weird visual things happening, something that was pretty common during withdrawal. Was this withdrawal-related? I don't know. But the visual stuff stopped after a few days.

 

I expect this will be my last update.  I am not up for writing a formal success story.  I don't remember most of what happened and I admit to not really wanting to think about the details again.  But I believe I am one more person who has succeeded, even after several decades of use, having to restart after a cold turkey in the past, having a sometimes too-fast tapering schedule, being older, having started and stopped several different drugs, and having been on a number of different drugs at the same time.

 

It was so worth it!!  

 

Thank you all,

 

LLiz

 

 

 

 

 

On 30 - 45 mg mirtazapine for more than 10 years.

 

Tapered mirtazapine, ziprasidone, and dextroamphetamine (both added at some point to reduce mirtazapine side effects) since August, 2012, one at a time. Stopped ziprasidone in 2012, dextroamphetamine in 2013, mirtazapine in 2016.

 

April 1 2015 dose: 0.29 mg.

May 1 2015 dose: 0.28 mg. Although holding for only 2 weeks so far, feeling much better!

June 1 2015 dose: 0.275 mg. Needed to start withdrawing again because of adverse drug effect.

July 1: 0.23 mg. Aug 1: 0.16 mg. Sept 1: 0.14 mg. Oct 1: 0.12 mg. March 10, 2016: 0.08 mg. March 20: 0 mg.

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Hi Lliz. It's really great that you've come back for an update. It's good that you mostly do not think about withdrawal anymore. I can't wait for that to happen. I'm sorry to hear that you have had falls and had one recently. I remember reading on another board a woman who  had falls when she was polydrugged but has since recovered. I believe that the "visuals" that you've had while sick is still withdrawals. I know after the flu, bad viruses, etc. my symptoms flare alot from these illnesses. I think those leftovers will eventually peter out.

 

I want to congratulate you for getting out this mess of being polydrugged. I know how tough it is. You are a true warrior.

 

Best wishes,

Marie

10/13--10/14 Ambien. Started tapering 1/14  Jumped 10/14.  Done.                                                                              

3/14        7.5 Remeron  still taking this.                              

2/14         75 Trazodone   -    Tapered by dry cutting all the way down.

1/16        4 mg Trazodone  -  Jumped. Bad mistake. Got hit with late withdrawal 6 weeks later. Had to reinstate.

4/16        Reinstated 1 mg, updose to 2 mg Trazodone

2/19        .04 Trazodone. Walked off.  Done.

10/3/19  Started 7.5 Mirtazapine taper cut to .073 gram weight, pill weighs .076

4/5/20    New Mirtazapine Taper - Compound Liquid 7.35 mg April '20, 7.25 mg May, 7.05 mg June, 6.99 mg June, 6.78 mg July, 6.57 mg Aug, Sept 6.35 mg, Sept 6.24 mg, Sept 6.21 mg, Oct 5.99 mg, Oct 5.90 mg, Oct 5.70 mg.

1/11/21 6.05 mg Messed up taper due to syringe change. Must remember the 1 ml syringe contains 1.5mg! 1/16/21 5.99 mg

2/21 5.75 mg, 3/21 5.6 mg, 4/7 5.45, 4/14 5.30.

 

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Thank you for letting us know you made it through!  I'm very pleased for you!  Congrats.  Enjoy your life, Liz.

Your success story does not have to be detailed.  What you wrote above would be just fine.  This thread will be lost here eventually.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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5 hours ago, LLiz said:

I have been thinking some more about whether I have recovered from my psych drug use and withdrawal symptoms.  I really think yes, aside from occasionally making adjustments to post-withdrawal life like the one I wrote about in my last post. 

 

Sometimes something still happens that's reminiscent of withdrawal.  Several months ago, I suddenly found myself lying on the concrete while walking and ended up with a painful injury.  During withdrawal, several times I also just suddenly ended up on the ground. It never happened to be on concrete, so I didn't get injured.  But falls certainly happen to people who have never taken psych drugs, too.

 

I still have tinnitus.  But I don't know that withdrawal caused it.  And it is stable and usually easy to ignore.

 

When I got pneumonia this year, I did start to notice a few weird visual things happening, something that was pretty common during withdrawal. Was this withdrawal-related? I don't know. But the visual stuff stopped after a few days.

 

I expect this will be my last update.  I am not up for writing a formal success story.  I don't remember most of what happened and I admit to not really wanting to think about the details again.  But I believe I am one more person who has succeeded, even after several decades of use, having to restart after a cold turkey in the past, having a sometimes too-fast tapering schedule, being older, having started and stopped several different drugs, and having been on a number of different drugs at the same time.

 

It was so worth it!!  

 

Thank you all,

 

LLiz

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for your post Liz.  I will miss hearing about you but insomnia understand you wanting to move on.  

 

As I sit mired in my withdrawal, I appreciate hearing how you made it despite your years on meds, going cold turkey, going to fast and being older.  I'm sorry you had to go through all that but it gives me hope that I can make it too.  

 

I wish you continued healing and a life filled with contentment.  

 

Hibari

 Sept 2013-Apr 2014:  After death of my mom put on as series of meds. Zoloft 6 days, Lexapro1 day, Nortriptyline 10 days, Liquid Prozac 1 week, Cymbalta 1 week.

Got off Clonzapam: 1/2014-9/2014. After given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs

Completed Remeron taper: 41.25 -0.025mgs  1/2015-4 2017. 

Completed Lamictal Taper: 200mgs-0.05 mgs 7/ 2015-11/2018. 

Clonazapam  December 2018. 0.625 Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping and not thinking straight. 28 March, 2019  4% taper Total: .625mgai   26 May, 2019  4% taper Total: .575 mgai,   24 June, 2019 2.5 % taper  10 Clonzapam tablets weigh1.999 mgpw  Average  200 mgpw.  0.0073mgai 9AM, 0.0073mgai 3PM, .415mgai, Total: 561mgai,  10 July, 2019 (Compounded pills) .0073mgai 9AM,.0073mgai 3PM, .415mgai,

Total .561mgai   26 August, 2019 (Back to regular pills due to bad reaction) .0078mgai 9AM, .01075mgai 3PM, .360mgai PM, Total: .545mgai   26 Sept. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM, .1mgai 3PM, 0.350mgai PM: Total: .5275mgai   31 Oct, 2019 .0750mgai 9AM, .0925mgai 3PM, 0.340mgai 930PM, Total: .5075mgai,   30 Nov. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM, .0825mgai 3PM, .3325mgai 9:30PM, Total:.490mgai   31 Dec. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM,  .080mgai 3PM, .3225mgai 9:30PM,  Total: .4775mgai   31 Jan. 2020 .0725mgai 9AM, .0750mgai 3pm, .315mgai 9:30PM, Total: .4625mgai    29 Feb. 2020  .0675mgai 9AM, .0675 3PM, .305 mgai 9PM Total: .440mgai 31 March 2020 .065mgai 9AM,  .065mgai 3PM, .2925mgai 10PM, Total: 4225mgai  30 April 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625mgai 3PM, .2775mgai 10PM  Total: .4025mgai 31 May 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625 mgai 3PM, .2526 mgai 10PM, Total: .3775mgai  30 June 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625mgai 3PM  .2175 mgai 10PM Total .3425mgai.   31 July 2020 .0575 mgai 9AM .0550 mgai 3PM .180mgai 10PM Total .2925mgai  31 August 2020 .0475mgai 9AM, 0.045mgai 3PM, .01475mgai 10PM Total: .2375mgai  30 September 2020 0.0375mgai 9AM 0.035mgai 3PM 0.110mgai 10PM  Total: .1825mgai 31 October 2020 .0325mgai 9AM .0350mgai 3PM  .0725mgai 9PM

Total: .14mgai  30 Nov. 2020 .03mgai 9AM  .0276mgai 3PM 0.450mgai 9PM Total: .1025mgai 31 Dec. 2020 .02mgai 9AM .02mgai 3PM .02mgai 9PM Total: .06mgai  5 February, 2021 .0150mgai Stepped off of Clonzapam, Benzo Free

 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs,  Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Magnesium Glycinate

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Hi, Marie:

 

I was so happy to read your reply!  How interesting what you had to say about falls and visual-stuff-while-being-sick still being withdrawal related. It's helpful to know an explanation as to why those things happen.

 

Looking at your signature, it looks like you're at that challenging tail end of your trazodone withdrawal.  I remember thinking that it was so unbelievable that such tiny doses and drops could still make a difference.  I see that I jumped off mirtazapine at only 0.08 mg. And I still felt that last jump.  But not anymore. 

 

One day, you too will mostly not think about withdrawal anymore!  You have already made huge progress in your tapers!!

 

Thank you so much for writing!

 

LLiz

 

On 30 - 45 mg mirtazapine for more than 10 years.

 

Tapered mirtazapine, ziprasidone, and dextroamphetamine (both added at some point to reduce mirtazapine side effects) since August, 2012, one at a time. Stopped ziprasidone in 2012, dextroamphetamine in 2013, mirtazapine in 2016.

 

April 1 2015 dose: 0.29 mg.

May 1 2015 dose: 0.28 mg. Although holding for only 2 weeks so far, feeling much better!

June 1 2015 dose: 0.275 mg. Needed to start withdrawing again because of adverse drug effect.

July 1: 0.23 mg. Aug 1: 0.16 mg. Sept 1: 0.14 mg. Oct 1: 0.12 mg. March 10, 2016: 0.08 mg. March 20: 0 mg.

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Hi, Rosetta:

 

Thank you for writing!  

 

Since you think that final post is good enough for a success story, can someone just transfer it to the right spot for me?

 

Congratulations on being drug free yourself!!

 

LLiz

On 30 - 45 mg mirtazapine for more than 10 years.

 

Tapered mirtazapine, ziprasidone, and dextroamphetamine (both added at some point to reduce mirtazapine side effects) since August, 2012, one at a time. Stopped ziprasidone in 2012, dextroamphetamine in 2013, mirtazapine in 2016.

 

April 1 2015 dose: 0.29 mg.

May 1 2015 dose: 0.28 mg. Although holding for only 2 weeks so far, feeling much better!

June 1 2015 dose: 0.275 mg. Needed to start withdrawing again because of adverse drug effect.

July 1: 0.23 mg. Aug 1: 0.16 mg. Sept 1: 0.14 mg. Oct 1: 0.12 mg. March 10, 2016: 0.08 mg. March 20: 0 mg.

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Hibari, it was great to hear from you again.  I am glad my story with its particular characteristics encouraged you.  I was excited to read that you beat Remeron!  And thank you for your wishes!

 

It sounds like your current situation is very rough.  I, too, was unable to make much tapering progress during some very difficult periods and Was at the point at many times in which it was so hard to know whether to go up, down, or hold.  Somehow, the job eventually got done.

 

I hope you manage well enough during this time and contine healing.

 

Thank you for writing!

 

LLiz

On 30 - 45 mg mirtazapine for more than 10 years.

 

Tapered mirtazapine, ziprasidone, and dextroamphetamine (both added at some point to reduce mirtazapine side effects) since August, 2012, one at a time. Stopped ziprasidone in 2012, dextroamphetamine in 2013, mirtazapine in 2016.

 

April 1 2015 dose: 0.29 mg.

May 1 2015 dose: 0.28 mg. Although holding for only 2 weeks so far, feeling much better!

June 1 2015 dose: 0.275 mg. Needed to start withdrawing again because of adverse drug effect.

July 1: 0.23 mg. Aug 1: 0.16 mg. Sept 1: 0.14 mg. Oct 1: 0.12 mg. March 10, 2016: 0.08 mg. March 20: 0 mg.

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On 10/22/2018 at 12:13 AM, LLiz said:

I have been thinking some more about whether I have recovered from my psych drug use and withdrawal symptoms.  I really think yes, aside from occasionally making adjustments to post-withdrawal life like the one I wrote about in my last post. 

 

Sometimes something still happens that's reminiscent of withdrawal.  Several months ago, I suddenly found myself lying on the concrete while walking and ended up with a painful injury.  During withdrawal, several times I also just suddenly ended up on the ground. It never happened to be on concrete, so I didn't get injured.  But falls certainly happen to people who have never taken psych drugs, too.

 

I still have tinnitus.  But I don't know that withdrawal caused it.  And it is stable and usually easy to ignore.

 

When I got pneumonia this year, I did start to notice a few weird visual things happening, something that was pretty common during withdrawal. Was this withdrawal-related? I don't know. But the visual stuff stopped after a few days.

 

I expect this will be my last update.  I am not up for writing a formal success story.  I don't remember most of what happened and I admit to not really wanting to think about the details again.  But I believe I am one more person who has succeeded, even after several decades of use, having to restart after a cold turkey in the past, having a sometimes too-fast tapering schedule, being older, having started and stopped several different drugs, and having been on a number of different drugs at the same time.

 

It was so worth it!!  

 

Thank you all,

 

LLiz

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you LLiz for coming to update. 

Congratulations on getting your life back on track.

I really hope that this will not be your last post and update. 

Take care,  wishing you the very best in the future. 

Hopefull.  :)

 

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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Thank you, Liz.

September 2014 to July 2015 - 20 mg Lexapro, 30mg Mirtazipine

 

August 2015 to November 2016- 10mg Lexapro, 30 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2016 to Nov. 2017 - 10mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2017 to Mach 2018 - 5mg/2.5mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

 

Mach 2018 to Dec. 2018 - 0mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

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Good for you LLiz. Thank you for sharing, this is helpful to know. Enjoy recovery, you deserve it x

2008-2013 - Various meds on and off since age 18 incl. Sertraline, Prozac, Mirtazipine, Abilify. Prescribed for severe OCD.

CT'd several times over these years and reinstated after subsequent psych hospitalisations.

2014-2015 - Clomipramine, quetiapine and Epilum

2015-Jan 2017 - Prozac 40mg (stopped contraceptive pill, most stable period of time)

(Beginning of taper) Jan-October 2017 - Tapered Prozac to zero.

15 Jan 2018 - Reinstated Prozac at 2mg due to acute w/d symptoms

February 2018 - tapered to 1.8mg

May 2018 - reinstated at 5mg due to severe w/d symptoms. 9 month hold, stabilized well at around 6/7 months.

March 2019 - Tapered to 4.9mg

Current supplements: fish oils, probiotic, ashwaganda, colostrum powder, cannabis

 

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Thank you for coming back and sharing. It is very much appreciated.

Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. 
Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18;  May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg
Spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1pw4tjImAJ92OIVyRvZoZYjqxiKMk7wvp-ljiIi1olRo/edit#gid=0

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@LLiz

Thank you for coming back here! Your story means a lot to me bc I have gone off and on meds in the past, been on higher doses, plus other added meds, and for 15 years. I am REALLY struggling getting off. I have been tapering for 2.5 years, have at least a year or more to go, and I'm struggling immensely. 

 

It seems most people don't have a hard time during the taper, but after they actually go off, which has been very scary for me and is making me question the entire process. It seems that you also had a hard time throughout the entire process? Did you feel worse once off, or did things start to heal after you were finally off? How long did you have WD in total?

 

Can I ask what your WD symptoms were? 

 

Thank you and Congrats!

XX

 

med history: 17 years total

Concerta: 2 yrs - cold turkey, brought on first "depression" 

Short trials of Zoloft and Effexor: 1-3 years - multiple cold turkey's brought on OCD intrusive thoughts for the first time

Lexapro 15-20 mg (16 yrs)  - tried to quit once, cold turkey, worst WD ever, had to go on to 20mg to stop WD

Welbutrin 150mg (8-ish yrs) NO w/d symptoms from CT

Adderall 5-7.5mg (8-10-ish yrs) quit CT, brought on many WD symptoms, but manageable. 

 

Begin taper March 2018 Currently on 4.4 mg lexapro - down from 20mg

 

Symptoms depression, horrible intrusive thoughts and urges, new onset PMS/PMDD, constant extreme irritation and anger, visual hallucinations, irrational thinking patterns, panic, nausea, dizzy, intolerance to working out, chemical sensitivities, noise sensitivities, memory issues, heart palps, etc. 

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so good to hear of another success story 💝

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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Thank you, all of you, for your kind feedback!

 

Hopefull,  although I don't want to write any more updates, my plan is to hang around for a little bit in case anyone has any questions or wants to compare notes. It was so nice to hear from you again. Although my plane didn't land exactly smoothly, in the end, the bumps were manageable!  (Do  do you remember the plane metaphor you wrote on my intro thread?)

On 30 - 45 mg mirtazapine for more than 10 years.

 

Tapered mirtazapine, ziprasidone, and dextroamphetamine (both added at some point to reduce mirtazapine side effects) since August, 2012, one at a time. Stopped ziprasidone in 2012, dextroamphetamine in 2013, mirtazapine in 2016.

 

April 1 2015 dose: 0.29 mg.

May 1 2015 dose: 0.28 mg. Although holding for only 2 weeks so far, feeling much better!

June 1 2015 dose: 0.275 mg. Needed to start withdrawing again because of adverse drug effect.

July 1: 0.23 mg. Aug 1: 0.16 mg. Sept 1: 0.14 mg. Oct 1: 0.12 mg. March 10, 2016: 0.08 mg. March 20: 0 mg.

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Hi, Peachy:

 

Healing seemed to be an interrupted but continual thing. I mean, I would begin to heal during holds while tapering, and then more consistently after I was finished.  My memory, for whatever it's worth, thinks that the time after the tapering was easier in that I didn't have to keep calculating dosages or wondering whether to go up or down or wondering how long to wait or asking myself whether I would ever be able to get off or would just have to keep mixing up these tiny doses forever. But it was harder after the taper was over in that when I was having bad days there wasn't really anything I could do about it, like raise my dose again. I just had to wait. Overall, I now think afterwards was easier. And over the long term things somehow resolved, but in a bumpy way.  It may have helped that my final cut was really small.

 

Checking my signature in my intro topic, it looks like the tapering process took about 3 1/2 years, including all three drugs I was on. Then it looks like it took another 2 or 2 1/2 years for things to gradually settle down after the taper.

 

Symptoms I listed in my intro topic:

"Increased tinnitus, sleep problems, vivid dreams, nausea, itching, nerve pain, anxiety, much worse muscle spasms and memory / cognitive problems, not all of them with every drop."

 

"The withdrawal problems have changed somewhat, with paresthesias, headaches, insomnia, allergic reactions, tinnitus, fatigue, and hallucinations being prominent now."

 

There is hope, Peachy!

 

LLiz

 

On 30 - 45 mg mirtazapine for more than 10 years.

 

Tapered mirtazapine, ziprasidone, and dextroamphetamine (both added at some point to reduce mirtazapine side effects) since August, 2012, one at a time. Stopped ziprasidone in 2012, dextroamphetamine in 2013, mirtazapine in 2016.

 

April 1 2015 dose: 0.29 mg.

May 1 2015 dose: 0.28 mg. Although holding for only 2 weeks so far, feeling much better!

June 1 2015 dose: 0.275 mg. Needed to start withdrawing again because of adverse drug effect.

July 1: 0.23 mg. Aug 1: 0.16 mg. Sept 1: 0.14 mg. Oct 1: 0.12 mg. March 10, 2016: 0.08 mg. March 20: 0 mg.

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Hey LLiz - thanks for posting your successful escape!

Or release (I like that word better).

 

Me too, me too.  It's not 100%, and I don't know what to blame on the drugs, or aging, or rough living, or trauma - i, too, still have tinnitus, and brain zap things - more like loud "clicks", and sleep issues.  But on the whole - 

 

On the whole, I'm glad I escaped too.


Congratulations on your patience, self-kindness (it had to be there) and hard work.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Hello Lliz. Congratulations to you. Truly a success.  Can I ask you your age?  You said you were on meds for a couple of decades?  I am 55 and curious as to ??? Variables in healing. Age vs time.  I am still HOLDING at a small reinstatement dose and waiting for further healing before I resume my taper.  Again, congratulations on your wonderful success!!!!  Well done!!!

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Thank you, JanCarol for writing!    I appreciated hearing that you feel that you are done, have been released, and / or have escaped even though you, too, experience some blips.   I wasn't sure what to expect in that area, I mean how perfect I had to be. Good enough, I say.  And congratulations to you, too!!

 

LLiz

 

 

On 30 - 45 mg mirtazapine for more than 10 years.

 

Tapered mirtazapine, ziprasidone, and dextroamphetamine (both added at some point to reduce mirtazapine side effects) since August, 2012, one at a time. Stopped ziprasidone in 2012, dextroamphetamine in 2013, mirtazapine in 2016.

 

April 1 2015 dose: 0.29 mg.

May 1 2015 dose: 0.28 mg. Although holding for only 2 weeks so far, feeling much better!

June 1 2015 dose: 0.275 mg. Needed to start withdrawing again because of adverse drug effect.

July 1: 0.23 mg. Aug 1: 0.16 mg. Sept 1: 0.14 mg. Oct 1: 0.12 mg. March 10, 2016: 0.08 mg. March 20: 0 mg.

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Hi, gigi63:

 

Thank you for your well-wishes!

 

 I wonder if it is fully knowable what influences how long it takes to complete a withdrawal.  Stuff I have heard are how many different drugs you went off and on, and how long you took them.  Maybe your age, too.   Probably there is information on that in this site somewhere.   But it seems like it's pretty variable in any case.

 

And I can't help thinking that many other things may influence it too. For example, I had two kids leave the nest while I was in withdrawal, events my brain no doubt used some of its energy to process.  

 

All the best as you continue!

 

LLiz

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 30 - 45 mg mirtazapine for more than 10 years.

 

Tapered mirtazapine, ziprasidone, and dextroamphetamine (both added at some point to reduce mirtazapine side effects) since August, 2012, one at a time. Stopped ziprasidone in 2012, dextroamphetamine in 2013, mirtazapine in 2016.

 

April 1 2015 dose: 0.29 mg.

May 1 2015 dose: 0.28 mg. Although holding for only 2 weeks so far, feeling much better!

June 1 2015 dose: 0.275 mg. Needed to start withdrawing again because of adverse drug effect.

July 1: 0.23 mg. Aug 1: 0.16 mg. Sept 1: 0.14 mg. Oct 1: 0.12 mg. March 10, 2016: 0.08 mg. March 20: 0 mg.

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Congratulations LLiz, well done! 😊

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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congratulations Liz

 

thanks so much for writing, it means a lot, esp to those  just starting out on this journey

 

I remember how I read and re read each success story in those early days, praying that I'd be one of them (and now I am too :) )

 

its wonderful that you made it thru. I can so relate to not wanting to think about it.

 

all the best in your new post-medicated life!!

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
  • April 2021, loving life ❤️ 
 
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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you for writing, GirlfromD and Happy2Heal!  I hope any remaining symptoms you have diminish and that your lives continue to improve.

On 30 - 45 mg mirtazapine for more than 10 years.

 

Tapered mirtazapine, ziprasidone, and dextroamphetamine (both added at some point to reduce mirtazapine side effects) since August, 2012, one at a time. Stopped ziprasidone in 2012, dextroamphetamine in 2013, mirtazapine in 2016.

 

April 1 2015 dose: 0.29 mg.

May 1 2015 dose: 0.28 mg. Although holding for only 2 weeks so far, feeling much better!

June 1 2015 dose: 0.275 mg. Needed to start withdrawing again because of adverse drug effect.

July 1: 0.23 mg. Aug 1: 0.16 mg. Sept 1: 0.14 mg. Oct 1: 0.12 mg. March 10, 2016: 0.08 mg. March 20: 0 mg.

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I only think about whether I can get out of these 64mg of effexor, although I will continue to be afraid, I have been three years under this drug, for me it is a long time although other people have been much more than me. The little mental clarity and low spirits are present a few days ago and I think a lot about whether I will achieve it, I know I can not know more than the present moment but the anxiety for the future haunts me.

 
You are an example and I am encouraged by your stories to continue.

Mayo 2018: Venlafaxina 150 mg y toma 64mg Diciembre 2018: Venlafaxina xr 56mg 

Diciembre de 2018: Venlafaxina xr 58mg Enero de 2019: Venlafaxina xr 56mg

Febrero 2019: Venlafaxina xr 37,5 mg + 40 perlas Mayo 2019: Venlafaxina xr 37,5 mg + 7 perlas Mayo 2019: Venlafaxina xr 37,5mg

Octubre 2019: venlafaxina xr 18mg aprox.

Enero 2020: 50 perlas Febrero 2020: 40 perlasMarzo 2020: 30 perlas 

Abril 2020: 35 perlas (en crisis)

Agosto 2020: 25 perlas, 23 perlas Noviembre: 03/11/2020 26 perlas 05/11/2030 22 perlas, 22/11/2020 24 perlas.Diciembre: 40 perlas (5 días) , vuelvo a 30 perlas.

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Hello, Alanmane!

 

I am very glad that you posted to my topic and that my story helped you.

 

I was so afraid and so anxious many times while I was withdrawing.  It also did not seem possible to me that I could recover. I could not think properly, the symptoms were so hard to bear, and it lasted so long. I could not do much of my usual work during that time or remember things.  

 

I kept asking some people who knew me if they thought I could really get through this, and I am glad to say that they said yes.  They and the people on this forum really helped me to keep believing, which made it easier to keep going.

 

When you feel afraid, please remember that it really is possible in spite of the difficult symptoms, how anxious you feel, and how long it takes sometimes!

 

Hang in there, Alanmane!

 

LLiz

On 30 - 45 mg mirtazapine for more than 10 years.

 

Tapered mirtazapine, ziprasidone, and dextroamphetamine (both added at some point to reduce mirtazapine side effects) since August, 2012, one at a time. Stopped ziprasidone in 2012, dextroamphetamine in 2013, mirtazapine in 2016.

 

April 1 2015 dose: 0.29 mg.

May 1 2015 dose: 0.28 mg. Although holding for only 2 weeks so far, feeling much better!

June 1 2015 dose: 0.275 mg. Needed to start withdrawing again because of adverse drug effect.

July 1: 0.23 mg. Aug 1: 0.16 mg. Sept 1: 0.14 mg. Oct 1: 0.12 mg. March 10, 2016: 0.08 mg. March 20: 0 mg.

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Thank you for your words of truth, you are right and although it is difficult to achieve, although anxiety and fear make me think that it is not possible, it is and I will get it just like many other people here. I am strong for having endured bad treatment from psychiatry, I am a survivor and I will tell my story when I have finished with this hell.

 
I love you!

Mayo 2018: Venlafaxina 150 mg y toma 64mg Diciembre 2018: Venlafaxina xr 56mg 

Diciembre de 2018: Venlafaxina xr 58mg Enero de 2019: Venlafaxina xr 56mg

Febrero 2019: Venlafaxina xr 37,5 mg + 40 perlas Mayo 2019: Venlafaxina xr 37,5 mg + 7 perlas Mayo 2019: Venlafaxina xr 37,5mg

Octubre 2019: venlafaxina xr 18mg aprox.

Enero 2020: 50 perlas Febrero 2020: 40 perlasMarzo 2020: 30 perlas 

Abril 2020: 35 perlas (en crisis)

Agosto 2020: 25 perlas, 23 perlas Noviembre: 03/11/2020 26 perlas 05/11/2030 22 perlas, 22/11/2020 24 perlas.Diciembre: 40 perlas (5 días) , vuelvo a 30 perlas.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello, Alanmane:

 

It meant so much to me to read your post.  Not only did you sound encouraged again, but you encouraged me.  I have just gone through a few weeks of some difficult problems.  Although none of them are withdrawal, some of them will be with me a long time.  

 

I thought several times of what you had written. It is so true. We can get through hard things. Other people have. We are strong and survivors.  We can put aside fear and anxiety and keep going.

 

 I hope I get to read your success story someday.

 

Thank you so much, Alanmane!

On 30 - 45 mg mirtazapine for more than 10 years.

 

Tapered mirtazapine, ziprasidone, and dextroamphetamine (both added at some point to reduce mirtazapine side effects) since August, 2012, one at a time. Stopped ziprasidone in 2012, dextroamphetamine in 2013, mirtazapine in 2016.

 

April 1 2015 dose: 0.29 mg.

May 1 2015 dose: 0.28 mg. Although holding for only 2 weeks so far, feeling much better!

June 1 2015 dose: 0.275 mg. Needed to start withdrawing again because of adverse drug effect.

July 1: 0.23 mg. Aug 1: 0.16 mg. Sept 1: 0.14 mg. Oct 1: 0.12 mg. March 10, 2016: 0.08 mg. March 20: 0 mg.

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  • 2 years later...
  • Moderator

@LLiz Hello 🙂

How are you doing ?

 

☀️

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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Dear LLiz,

 

Thank you for posting your success story. I congratulate you on your recovery. Your path wasn't easy and you made it on the other side. I'm happy for you and wish you that the distance from your taper brings you more and more peace and joy. I hope your memory and cognitive issues will heal in time.   

I am a bit confused with your taper, with your cuts. Would you please help me understand because I'm tapering Remeron myself for more then 3 years. I hope by the end of this year I could be done with it. I have to go slow because my symptoms are debilitating and worry about memory and cognitive impairment a lot. I never thought Remeron will be so hard and so long to get off. After Remeron I still have to taper Effexor which was my main concern in the first place. Any ways, I'm down to 1.9 mg or 0,018 mg weight on my scale.

I don't understand how did you go so low in doses ? When you mention 0.14, 0.12, 0,08 mg what exactly do you mean by that? Is it the actual Remeron active chemical or just the weight of the crushed tablet? As well I saw from you thread that you made solution. How did you do it? 

 

Hope to get your reply as it could be helpful. Thanks  

2000 - 2010 variety of SSRI and Valium ( Prozac mostly 20 mg, poop out)// 2010 -2015 new variety and cocktails, Seroquel ( CT), Zoloft (CT), Lexapo 2015 - Lexapo CT, WD - hell on earth for 6 months, almost hospitalized but instead, trying out new drugs( Brintilex, Valdoxan, Abilify ),"stable" on Effexor XR 150 mg, Seroquel 75, Lamictal 100 mg, Valium 4 x 0,5 mg   2016 - CT Lamictal, CT Seroquel, reducing Effexor XR, Valium and Clonopin occasionally 2017  - Effexor 56 mg ( 37.5 + 75 mg every second day), starting Remeron 30 mg in February 2017 Nov 10 - Effexor 37,5 mg ( dropping the 75mg every second day), Remeron 25 mg 2017 Dec, 25 - Effexor 37,5 mg, 20 mg Remeron // 2018 Mid Feb - Effexor 37,5 mg, 15 mg Remeron // 2018 March, April -  Hold 2018 May 15 - Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 13 mg // 2018 June 15 -  Effexor 37,5 mg Remeron 11mg // 2018 July 15 - Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 9 mg //  2018 Aug 15 - Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 7,5 mg // 2018 Sept, Oct, Nov, Dec Hold

2019 Jan 10 - Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 6,75 mg // 2019 Feb 20 - Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 5,5 mg // 2019 March 25 - Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 4,9 mg // 2019 April 22 - Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 4,5 mg // 2019 May 6  - Effexor 37,5mg, Remeron 4,2 mg // 2019 June, July, August, Sept, Oct, Nov, Dec - Hold 2020 Jan 15 - Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 4,1 mg // Feb 15- Effexor  37,5 mg, Remeron 4 mg // Mar 15 -  Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 3.9 mg // April & May Hold  June 1 - Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 3,8 mg // June 15 - Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 3.7 mg // July 1-  Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 3.6 mg // July 15 - Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 3.5 mg // August 1 - Effexor 37,5 mg // Remeron 3.4.// August 15 - Effexor 37,5 m, Remeron 3.3 mg // Sept Hold// October 1 Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 3,2 mg  // October 15 Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 3,1 mg // November 1 Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 3 mg // November 10 Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 2,9 mg // November 20 Effexor 37,5 mg,  Remeron 2,8 mg// December 1 Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 2,7 mg // 

2021 January 1 Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 2,6 mg // January 15 Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 2,5 mg // February 1 Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 2,4 mg // February 15 37,5 mg, Remeron 2.3 mg // March 1 Effexor 37,5 mg , Remeron 2.2 mg // March 15 Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 2.1 mg // April 1 Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 2 mg // April 15 Effexor 37,5 mg, Remeron 1,9 mg   

Supplements :  400 mg magnesium and 1000 mg Vit C  in the evening, stopped the 3000 mg of fish oil in November

 

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Dear Erell and Musa,

 

Thank you both for your notes!  I am unable to answer them at the moment, but hope to do it in the next week or two.

 

All the best,

 

LLiz

On 30 - 45 mg mirtazapine for more than 10 years.

 

Tapered mirtazapine, ziprasidone, and dextroamphetamine (both added at some point to reduce mirtazapine side effects) since August, 2012, one at a time. Stopped ziprasidone in 2012, dextroamphetamine in 2013, mirtazapine in 2016.

 

April 1 2015 dose: 0.29 mg.

May 1 2015 dose: 0.28 mg. Although holding for only 2 weeks so far, feeling much better!

June 1 2015 dose: 0.275 mg. Needed to start withdrawing again because of adverse drug effect.

July 1: 0.23 mg. Aug 1: 0.16 mg. Sept 1: 0.14 mg. Oct 1: 0.12 mg. March 10, 2016: 0.08 mg. March 20: 0 mg.

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