Heal95: sertraline withdrawal

[Heal95]

I was prescribed sertraline in January 2016 due to my fathers concerns I had a chemical imbalance that he believed ran in the family. This narrative had been pushed by phsyciatry and unfortunately a number of family members including my mother are on a cocktail of meds. Some of my family have received ECT sadly. I know now that this is rubbish. At the time I had been on a high dose of steroids to treat SLE lupus and this coupled with manipulation from family, stress, chronic pain and trauma from sexual assault I was slowly cracking andstarted to believe that I was chemically imbalanced, that this was the reason why I was suffering from all this trauma. I feel so stupid now and wish I hadn't gone on the sertraline. From September 2017 I started experiencing sleep troubles, severe nerve pain in head neck shoulders, muscle weakness and backpain. I think this was the sertraline tolerance withdrawal because now I am getting the symptoms during waves and they clear up in windows. At the time my gp thought it was lupus related and prescribed a high dose opiate. 90mg of codeine a day which I took since November 2017 to September 2018.  

 

I was on a dose of 50mg for a month and then increased to 100mg after two months. I was on 100mg up until May 2018 when I wanted to come off so my dose was reduced to 50 mg. during this time I did experience withdrawals but I didn't think too much about it. I had frequent urination, body temp  regulation issues, waking up in the middle of the night, fatigue lethargy and increased emotions. I put this down to my lupus. And things got less problematic after a few weeks. I don't remember much because I didn't pay much attention. 

 

In mid august I wanted off so I went to my gp. She told me to take 50 mg every other day for two weeks and towards end of august the sertraline was no more for me. Or so I thought. 

 

About two weeks after I started experiencing insomnia like never before. I had feelings of panic terror and the inability to complete day to day tasks. Everything was so overwhelming. I lost a lot of weight and thought I was slowly going mad. I resisted so badly to tell anyone about this because I thought my family genetics were catching up on me. During this time I CTd off my codeine as I was in such a state and this made insomnia worse. I don't think I was taking my lupus meds either. I stopped washing stopped eating stopped sleeping. Stopped functioning. 

 

Everything was slowly slipping away as I thought I was slowly going mad. I went to the gp and told him that I had these symptoms and he said I have a severe mood disorder. He didn't ask about any other drugs I was taking or not taking but reinstated 50 mg of sertraline in late September. What followed was the most gorgeous horrific period of my life. After taking the sertraline I started having severe akathisia and the little sleep I got before was totally gone. I didn't sleep for 4 days. I went back to the gp telling him I haven't slept at all for 4 days and he swid this should settle down after a few weeks. I to,d him I feel worse more agitation cant sit still despite not sleeping. He insisted I should me ok. This continued and I didn't sleep for another two days. On the 6th night I had 2 hours of broken sleep. This followed with 2 more days of no sleep. After two weeks I went back complaining of 'feeling worse' not sleeping not eating and thr gp upped the dose to 100. It made things soooo much more worse. I felt so suicidal and thought I couldn't go on with such a debilitating mental illness. I was only sleeping every other night after 4 weeks on being on 100 mg and being given trazadone for sleep. I only took for 4 days as it made me very sedated and constipated . after a while I started thinking that I didn't have any of these symptoms before sertraline ad started looking on youtube. I came across an article on rxlist about sertraline withdrawal and realised what had happened. I was terrified that it would take so long to recover so I tapered 'slowly' under doctor advice of 50 for two weeks 25 for two weeks and 25 every other day for a week. I was off it 8th December 2018. 

 

Since then I have had 

 

• insomnia 
• severe agitation (this has decreased after 3 months )
• muscle twitches 
• pin prick sensations 
• things going around in my head in a loop (this happens at night mainly)
• getting overwhelmed by the concept of time and god (this has gone I think) 
• sweating 
• body temperature issues 
• random waves of terror and anxiety during the day 
• severe fatigue due to poor sleep
• stomach bloating very painful 
• frequent urination (comes and goes) 
• racing heart

 

i am now almost 4 months off and have had some okay days. Things like insomnia have never gone away but I have had a few stretches of maybe 3 or 4 days where I will wake up maybe once or twice or three times. Recently, in the past week though it's been the worst it's been since coming off the Sertraline. I find it difficult to fall asleep with racing heart and then wake after two hours and can't sleep again feeling like I have lots of .energy About 4 hours later I sleep one hour at a time for two or three hours and then I'm up. 

 

I'm really scared. Why has my sleep gotten worse? Is this common in withdrawal? Please help me. I'm only 23 and I also stuffer with lupus. Thankfully the lupus has been in remission for the year and this is through diet. I don't want to die young. Please help me 

 

i came across SA in mid January after stumbling across it in late January of this year. I realise how wrong the doctors got it and how stupid I was. I just really trusted the medical profession

 

 

Edited March 21, 2019 by ChessieCat
added space

[Heal95]

Sorry my above post is all over the place and doesn't make much sense. There's a lot of auto correct and I didn't pick up on the errors when I prof read. 

 

I forgot to add that I have 

 

• involuntary movements of hands and feet sometimes 
• I haven't had my period in two month 
• I had some boil spots on my face last month and that hasn't come back 
• obsessve thoughts but they are gone for the most part
• headaches 
• brught lights when I shut my eyes 
• bright lights when my eyes are opened 
• eyebflowters 
• depression but it's not chemical I think. It's due to my situation 
• stomach blosting 

 

When I came off un Dec sleep was broken but was getting 7 or 8 hours waking up three times. Then at the end of third week I found it difficult to fall asleep getting about 5 hours broken. Thi lasted 2 days and sleep went back to 7 or 8 Hours broken. I was even drinking coffee in the morning at this point. 4th week same thing. 

 

After first month sleep became even more broken. Was sleeping 6 hours broken with the odd terrible night of 4 hours broken. 2nd month improvements and was sleeping 7 hours broken with odd night of 4 hours broken . Third month was sleeping 7 or 8 but noticed more issues emerging like more instances of wakefulness and mania before bed. Now at almost 4 months sleep has become really bad. Issues falling asleep will sleep tor two hours. Won't sleep for 3 to 4 hours then will sleep 1 hour at a timer for 2 to 3 hours

 

i quit coffee in mid January

 

 

Edited March 21, 2019 by ChessieCat
added space

[Heal95]

Thi lasted 2 days and sleep went back to 7 or 8 Hours broken. I was even drinking coffee in the morning at this point. 4th week same thing.  

what I mean by thus is that the last two days of the third week 

[Heal95]

On 3/21/2019 at 10:27 AM, Heal95 said:

i came across SA in mid January after stumbling across it in late January of this year. I realise how wrong the doctors got it and how stupid I was. I just really trusted the medical profession

 

I came across SA in mid January after seeing something about peer support on rxlist   Sorry my intro is all over the place 

please came someone get back to me 

[Heal95]

I only slept 2 hours last night 😢

Is this normal after almost 4 months out for things to get worse?

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Heal.

 

I am sorry you're going through this. Did you reinstate your lupus treatment?

 

Your symptoms do look like sertraline withdrawal syndrome. Alternating doses to taper is not a good way to taper. What we've seen is that going on and off psychiatric drugs can make your nervous system sensitive to drugs and sometimes supplements and even foods. Reinstating a "normal" dose of sertraline -- and then increasing it, as you did -- was too much for your sensitized nervous system and caused kindling or increase of activation.

 

Do you have any sertraline left? You might find that taking a very small amount, such as 1mg, reduces the withdrawal symptoms. You'd stabilize on that for a good while, then taper off by miniscule amounts later. This topic explains how to take a small dose Tips for tapering off Zoloft (sertraline)

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?
 
About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms
 
The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

[Heal95]

Thank you so much for replying. 

I have been on my lupus treatment throughout this whole process. My rheumy was thinking of reducing treatment because I'm doing better in terms of lupus but now I want halt that for a while as I don't know how things will go. 

 

Does kindling mean I am going to take even longer to get better? 😰💔

The experience of reinstatement last time has made me not want to reinstate anymore ever again. It was the most horrific period of my life. I almost killed my self because I felt like there was no point in living if this is how sick I was. 

 

The day that my sleep got really bad and stayed bad was on a Friday and I had a really bad stomach upset which resulted in diarreah. Did this cause something to go off? I was reading about gut health connected to brain health. Do you think this may have contributed to the worsening?

 

In in the last two days my sleep seems to have improved and is improving but so incrementally slow. I sleep for about two hours and then wake up but was able to sleep again for short bursts of an hour and a bit then the time of sleep intervals grew shorter until it got to about 50 minutes and then I was up for the day. 

 

This is the second time I have had iatrogenic illness in my life. I developed lupus after the HPV shot. At the time my rheumy denied that it causes lupus. Now it's listed as a side effect. 

I can't believe doctors prescribe this poison.  

 

I am so scared. I just want to be myself again. I've read so many intros and stories and realise that it could be worse. I've recently come across people who go through benzodiazepines withdrawal or multi drug withdrawal on YouTube or on here. 

 

I don't want to reinstate as it's been so long and I'm terrified of the reaction I had last time. 

 

Finally  I want to say thank you so so much for opening this site. Reading success stories everyday is giving my hope that this won't be forever. It won't be forever, right? I'm so scared that it will be forever. 

My dad in his naivety keeps telling me I will be right as rain by December. Oh I wish I could believe him but he hasn't a clue. He has searched about withdrawal and believes the whole situation. 

[Heal95]

Is healing still possible if you are kindled? 

[Kozak70]

yes i yhink so ,the healing is here but once we are kindled the healing becomes much slow & longer than who never has been kindled,hang in there  it gets better 

 

[Heal95]

How many times were you kindled kozak? 

Thank u for your kind words. I wish you all the best health 

[Altostrata]

Kindling means your sensitive nervous system has been irritated further. It will settle down over time.

 

Unfortunately, every time you get a bad reaction to a drug, it sets you back because your system has to recover from that, too. You have to baby your nervous system whenever it shows signs of upset.

 

A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

[Heal95]

Thank you so much for the information provided alto. I really appreciate it. May god bless you!! 

[Heal95]

I have flax seed and chia seed. They are high in omega 3. Will they help or is fish oil my best bet? 

[RachelSusan]

Hello Heal95,

 

Welcome to the group, however I am very sorry that you are in this situation and have to be here.   I too am a zoloft (sertraline)  survivor and have been through much of what you describe. I know you are suffering.

 

I am not a moderator therefore will not make any suggestions about supplements or any medication advice, however you may want to look through my page to see that what you are going through is normal, although very painful.

 

You may also want to do a signature at the bottom of your page.  You can use this link to access the signature page:  https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/settings/

Once you get there look to the far left, you will see the word Overview in white inside a black bar. Below that will be a few choices. Email Address, and so on.  The last choice is Signature.  Click on that. Once you do that a empty box will come up and you can type your drug history in there.  Once finished be sure to click Save at the bottom. The reason to do this is so that any moderator that comes along to give you advice can see at a glance what your drug history is and won't have to read through your entire thread every time. You can look at Kozak70, here on your thread, as an example or at mine.  Mine is probably a little long so not the very best example.

 

If I can be of moral support to you please come over to my page and ask me anything you would like. You can find a link to my page below in my signature.

 

I hope your horrible symptoms go away as soon as possible.

 

Warm wishes,

Rachel

 

[Rosetta]

Hi Heal,

 

I wish I felt well enough to write more today.  You are going to heal.  Never forget that.  If can anyone can.  Yes, the doctor really hurt you.  How wrong that was, but you will recover.  I'm very happy that you feel lupus is in remission.  You must be doing something right!  You comment a lot across the board, and that's good.  You clearly understand what had happened and how to heal.  I think you decided not to reinstate? That's ok because at this point you have been off since December 2018.  I wish I had found SA in time to try a reinstatement, but it was probably too late, and I thought it was too risky.  At 6 months off I was in very bad shape.  I started to recover at about 11 months off.  I hope you are doing much better than I was at the 9 month point.  It's been long and slow, but it's definitely so much better.  I know I will fully recover.

 

You are 23?  You have a long, beautiful life ahead of you.  Don't lose hope even if you have another hard wave.  They always end.

 

Rosetta

[Heal95]

Hello everyone. 

 

Ive been off sertraline for about 13months now and although I’m not 100% better (surprising lol!) I do feel like I’ve made some progress. I have nights where I get decent sleep. It’s still waves and windows but I try to not let the symptoms bother me so much. I deal with really bad panic attacks and spiralling that I get often, I’m prone to being really angry, I get really sad but I just accept now that this is all part of the journey of withdrawal. 

 

Ive started reading a lot. I find I’m more into the stuff I was interested in before sertraline. I couldn’t concentrate on reading, I was barely able concentrate throughout uni. I’m hoping to go back to uni soon again. I love reading about history, politics etc. It makes time seem different, fleeting in a way. Not so significant. And I guess time appears that way when we look back at the years in our life that have passed. The way events trigger other events is crazy.. I was always into history and politics as a kid. I was sensitive about things because my childhood was pretty rough. My dad is pretty abusive and I always put a lot of hope and trust into him ‘saving’ me but he always let me down. In fact he screwed me up, gaslit me and then pushed me onto antidepressants when I couldn’t handle everything. I’ve finally been able to see things for what they are and it’s liberating in a way. 

 

I found out I have lipedema in late September. It was and still is difficult to come to terms with it but slowly I’m making my peace with it and I know that I will be able to get medical treatment for it once withdrawal lets up.

 

Anyways I’m feeling sad and tired right now but I’m hoping tomorrow I feel more better than I do today. 

 

Hope everyone is doing good. Hang in there  

[Gridley]

4 hours ago, Heal95 said:

made some progress.

That's great news, Heal95.

[Heal95]

Hello everyone

I hope you're all well 

 

I am 31 months off and although I'm not fully healed I am doing a lot better. 

I still have very poor stress tolerance and to be very honest with you the last 12 months have been incredibly stressful to the point that I thought I the stress alone would kill me. I also went into some crazy eating disorder patterns for the first 2 years of my withdrawal and to be frank I'm surprised how much I have managed to heal despite starving myself for so long.

However, that being said right now I am doing a lot better than I was doing 12 months ago. 

Sleep, neuroemotions, nerve pain, headaches, gut issues have gotten significantly better and although these things take a dip during my waves they get better again in my windows.  My waves can sometimes be bad but overall nowhere near as bad as they were at the start. 

I tried to go back to uni this year but had to quit in may due to my inability in reconciling exam stress which caused me to not sleep for a few days. I had to make the difficult decision to defer again which was devastating but I'm ok now.

 

I haven't had any lupus flares and I put this down to switching my diet to a highly raw diet. I think this is also helping my withdrawal. If anyone is interested in checking out Dr Brooke Goldner's Goodbye Lupus Youtube channel it has a lot of resources on the healing aspects of her protocol. I defintely don't think this is a quick fix overnight cure of withdrawal but I think it provides the essential building blocks for healing your body and mind from this injury. 

I am able to tolerate coffee as well which is very surprising for me. Obviously not too many cups but one in the morning doesn't send me in a tail spin like it did at the beginning of withdrawal. However, despite being ok with coffee I stick to just regular english breakfast tea or an earl grey. 

 

Sleep has improved a lot and on most days I get 7-9 hours of sleep. In fact, my bad days of sleep are now 7 broken hours and my good days are 9 hours waking up perhaps twice. 

Stress tolerance is still not great but still much improved. I was able to hand in all my assignments at uni with distinction grades but I would freak out before each assignment and not sleep at all during assignment planning and typing. I would always think I had completely failed every assignment before submitting. 
Although I had to defer again I'm happy that I have evidence that I'm still a very capable student who will eventually go back into academia

 

I have been having emdr recently to help with some difficult stuff from my childhood. One aspect of withdrawal that has been very difficult has been the flashbacks I've been having about all the sh*tty horrific things that I somehow blocked out. I mean, I didn't completely block them out as they manifested in me being very anxious and on edge as a teen and it's probably why I have an auto immune disease. It's good to address these things moving forward because it will hopefully mean I can move forward without carrying this baggage with me.  I have learnt to stand up for myself and not allow others to gaslight me. I still have many aspects of my self I need to strengthen but it's a journey. Withdrawal sucks but the lessons I've taken away about life have been invaluable. 

 

Anyway I wish everyone a lot of healing and hope everything is going ok. 

Time is the best healer overall and despite the stress and despite the crazy amount of drugs and kindling reactions I believe that everyone heals from withdrawal. It just takes longer for some. I remember thinking I would not heal, for sure I would never heal, but today I feel confident that it is only a matter of time. 

 

 

 

[Shellbell]

@Heal95

 

Hi there - had a question for you regarding your withdrawal and lupus. I also suffer from Lupus and my rhuemotologist is suggesting that it lupus and not withdrawl that is making me anxious and depressed. So of course now I am worried that my condition is permanent because it's the lupus and not the fact that Ive come off several medications. 

Did this get suggested to you as well?

my lab work showed my lupus has doubled in the dsdna and I am just concerned....

was hoping for reassurance I guess

[Heal95]

Hello @Shellbell

 

yes my rheumatologist tried to suggest my anxiety and insomnia were the lupus too I kept insisting it was withdrawal and provided her with some information on antidepressant withdrawal and she accepted it was the withdrawal. I’m in the U.K. and I think more doctors are becoming aware about the problems with antidepressant withdrawal. It’s actually comical now when a doctor tries to argue because you tell them to do a quick search and they see credible U.K. doctors confirming my experience. 
 

what is your diet like? You should check out goodbye lupus on YouTube. 
I was in remission at the start of withdrawal but a few months in I found I was getting joint pain. A bit over a year into withdrawal I went very high raw. You should consider a diet change. 
I hope your symptoms improve. X

[Heal95]

@Shellbell

You will heal from withdrawal. I had terrible symptoms from being kindled and for a long long time I would go into crazy panic when I had joint pain and would instantly think the worst possible things like my kidneys are failing or my lupus is going to get so out of control I’m going to be bed bound and disabled. It’s terrible. In withdrawal I find I have little to no way of regulating negative emotions and they will accelerate uncontrollably without me being able to catch up. As I have healed i find myself more able to tolerate the neuroemotions. 
be gentle with yourself and let yourself get worried and anxious about certain things. If you’re anxious about the symptoms being lupus let it be. When the emotional storm passes you can assess the situation with a calmer head. 
I hope I reassured you. It does get better 🙂

[Shellbell]

@Heal95

Thank you for responding. I’m just getting more stressed out because my dr insisted I have lupus psychosis. So now I’ve convinced I will never get better and this is my life now. I’m on the verge of giving up now. This is so horrible 

[EJ1983]

On 7/6/2021 at 7:21 AM, Heal95 said:

Hello everyone

I hope you're all well 

 

I am 31 months off and although I'm not fully healed I am doing a lot better. 

I still have very poor stress tolerance and to be very honest with you the last 12 months have been incredibly stressful to the point that I thought I the stress alone would kill me. I also went into some crazy eating disorder patterns for the first 2 years of my withdrawal and to be frank I'm surprised how much I have managed to heal despite starving myself for so long.

However, that being said right now I am doing a lot better than I was doing 12 months ago. 

Sleep, neuroemotions, nerve pain, headaches, gut issues have gotten significantly better and although these things take a dip during my waves they get better again in my windows.  My waves can sometimes be bad but overall nowhere near as bad as they were at the start. 

I tried to go back to uni this year but had to quit in may due to my inability in reconciling exam stress which caused me to not sleep for a few days. I had to make the difficult decision to defer again which was devastating but I'm ok now.

 

I haven't had any lupus flares and I put this down to switching my diet to a highly raw diet. I think this is also helping my withdrawal. If anyone is interested in checking out Dr Brooke Goldner's Goodbye Lupus Youtube channel it has a lot of resources on the healing aspects of her protocol. I defintely don't think this is a quick fix overnight cure of withdrawal but I think it provides the essential building blocks for healing your body and mind from this injury. 

I am able to tolerate coffee as well which is very surprising for me. Obviously not too many cups but one in the morning doesn't send me in a tail spin like it did at the beginning of withdrawal. However, despite being ok with coffee I stick to just regular english breakfast tea or an earl grey. 

 

Sleep has improved a lot and on most days I get 7-9 hours of sleep. In fact, my bad days of sleep are now 7 broken hours and my good days are 9 hours waking up perhaps twice. 

Stress tolerance is still not great but still much improved. I was able to hand in all my assignments at uni with distinction grades but I would freak out before each assignment and not sleep at all during assignment planning and typing. I would always think I had completely failed every assignment before submitting. 
Although I had to defer again I'm happy that I have evidence that I'm still a very capable student who will eventually go back into academia

 

I have been having emdr recently to help with some difficult stuff from my childhood. One aspect of withdrawal that has been very difficult has been the flashbacks I've been having about all the sh*tty horrific things that I somehow blocked out. I mean, I didn't completely block them out as they manifested in me being very anxious and on edge as a teen and it's probably why I have an auto immune disease. It's good to address these things moving forward because it will hopefully mean I can move forward without carrying this baggage with me.  I have learnt to stand up for myself and not allow others to gaslight me. I still have many aspects of my self I need to strengthen but it's a journey. Withdrawal sucks but the lessons I've taken away about life have been invaluable. 

 

Anyway I wish everyone a lot of healing and hope everything is going ok. 

Time is the best healer overall and despite the stress and despite the crazy amount of drugs and kindling reactions I believe that everyone heals from withdrawal. It just takes longer for some. I remember thinking I would not heal, for sure I would never heal, but today I feel confident that it is only a matter of time. 

 

 

 

I am glad to see you are healing. I am only two months off of celexa and I have many of the same symptoms you had. I feel hopeless and teeter reinstating the meds every day.. I don’t know how much longer I can suffer like this. One of the main issues I have are terrible gut problems and very painful bloating, please tell me that goes away. What other stomach issues did you have? 

[Heal95]

On 7/23/2021 at 7:37 PM, Shellbell said:

@Heal95

Thank you for responding. I’m just getting more stressed out because my dr insisted I have lupus psychosis. So now I’ve convinced I will never get better and this is my life now. I’m on the verge of giving up now. This is so horrible 

Hey @Shellbell 

I felt like that too for the first 2 years. It felt like it was never ending. Every day I would repeat ''I wish I was f*cking dead'' and would cry hysterically or be numb to the core. As time goes on I feel less hopeless and more hopeful. 

Hope you are doing well

[Heal95]

On 7/24/2021 at 1:00 AM, EJ1983 said:

I am glad to see you are healing. I am only two months off of celexa and I have many of the same symptoms you had. I feel hopeless and teeter reinstating the meds every day.. I don’t know how much longer I can suffer like this. One of the main issues I have are terrible gut problems and very painful bloating, please tell me that goes away. What other stomach issues did you have? 

Hello @EJ1983

In withdrawal we can develop food sensitivities but tbh sometimes I feel like the gut issues happen whether we have eaten something we are intolerant to or not. 

As I have healed I find gut issues go away however they return when I'm in a wave. I still have frequent waves but the severe bloating I had in the beginning has subsided for the most part. 

At two months out it was horrendous however. 

My gut issues were severe bloating, constipation, pain, feeling sick. unable to tolerate food in general. 

Now I have looser stools and nausea but not as bad. 

I have had periods where my gut issues go away even though my diet has stayed the same. So I think the gut issues are sometimes to do with withdrawal problems. 
Eat healthy and do your best. Don't beat yourself up about symptoms. I find that trying my best and not focusing too much on symptoms despite how difficult they may be is helpful for recovery. Focus on what is in your control. 

Oh yes! Walking helps with bloating just FYI. 

Hang in there. You will get through this

[Shellbell]

@heal95

 

thank you for the encouragement. I still feel horrible. Like severe brain fog and I don't know if it is the lupus or just withdrawn. It's horrific and scary. I know the akathesia isn't from the lupus or the severe depression. Never had that before I was given meds. I am just so angry at my rheumatologist for prescribing me Cymbalta for back pain. Which is what started this sh*t show to begin with. But I have to tell myself that I can't look back and get upset. This is happening now. I am just so concerned that if all this is because of lupus then does that mean this is my life now and it won't ever get better? Very discouraging for sure. Been 13 months of hell every single day and I honestly just don't want to do it anymore..... 

[Heal95]

@Shellbell It's still early days for you. Even I at 31 months+ off still feel like it's relatively early days. That being said the days to get progressively better and it's sooooo important to remain in good spirits even when you feel like absolute ****. It's ok to feel sh*tty knowing that it won't be constant. Same way when we are feeling happy we aren't always in a constant state of happiness and bliss. 

I would be mad too at my rheumatologist. I was looking back at my medical notes and when I was 19 I was almost prescribed amitriptiline. It's a psych med but they prescribe for arthritic pain. I refused when they said it was an old fashioned antidepressant because in my head I thought ''I'm already on an antidpressant so why should I take another one''. My logic was a bit faulty lol but I'm so relieved I refused. 

It's ok to look back and be upset. Sometimes it's necessary to grieve the things that happened in our past. 

I was prescribed setraline about 9 months after my lupus diagnosis so I don't kow if your bain fog is just the withdrawal. It may also be the side effects from the lupus meds. I know that when I was on steroids I was sooooo fricking anxious I even experienced an altered state where I didn't know what was reality and what wasn't. Cell cept made me soooooo tired and drowsy. 
Have you checked out the Goodbye Lupus Youtube channel? It may give you some pointers to help you with the lupus stuff. I have found it very helpful for my lupus

12 hours ago, Shellbell said:

Been 13 months of hell every single day and I honestly just don't want to do it anymore..... 

I felt like this for such a long time. I wanted to end my life and still I sometimes feel like this. Not suicide per say but wishing that someone would pull the plug on your life because it's so overwhelming. This can be the awful neuroemotions but it can also be the way we approach our situation. 

 

Hope you have a nice day today and everyday 

[sbanksby]

On 3/25/2019 at 12:25 AM, Heal95 said:

Thank you so much for replying. 

I have been on my lupus treatment throughout this whole process. My rheumy was thinking of reducing treatment because I'm doing better in terms of lupus but now I want halt that for a while as I don't know how things will go. 

 

Does kindling mean I am going to take even longer to get better? 😰💔

The experience of reinstatement last time has made me not want to reinstate anymore ever again. It was the most horrific period of my life. I almost killed my self because I felt like there was no point in living if this is how sick I was. 

 

The day that my sleep got really bad and stayed bad was on a Friday and I had a really bad stomach upset which resulted in diarreah. Did this cause something to go off? I was reading about gut health connected to brain health. Do you think this may have contributed to the worsening?

 

In in the last two days my sleep seems to have improved and is improving but so incrementally slow. I sleep for about two hours and then wake up but was able to sleep again for short bursts of an hour and a bit then the time of sleep intervals grew shorter until it got to about 50 minutes and then I was up for the day. 

 

This is the second time I have had iatrogenic illness in my life. I developed lupus after the HPV shot. At the time my rheumy denied that it causes lupus. Now it's listed as a side effect. 

I can't believe doctors prescribe this poison.  

 

I am so scared. I just want to be myself again. I've read so many intros and stories and realise that it could be worse. I've recently come across people who go through benzodiazepines withdrawal or multi drug withdrawal on YouTube or on here. 

 

I don't want to reinstate as it's been so long and I'm terrified of the reaction I had last time. 

 

Finally  I want to say thank you so so much for opening this site. Reading success stories everyday is giving my hope that this won't be forever. It won't be forever, right? I'm so scared that it will be forever. 

My dad in his naivety keeps telling me I will be right as rain by December. Oh I wish I could believe him but he hasn't a clue. He has searched about withdrawal and believes the whole situation. 

Have you bloating issues ever gone away?

[Heal95]

On 11/8/2021 at 6:07 AM, sbanksby said:

Have you bloating issues ever gone away?

Yes if I eat things that don't irritate my gut. I do find my gut is more sensitive especially after taking trazadone for a few days so I have to be super careful about what I eat. 
I do eat mainly things like chia, kale, oats, fruit, sweet potato etc. Super simple easily digested foods. 

I can't eat super processed foods 

[Heal95]

I have a question could one of the moderators please help me 

 

I have been taking 10ml of floradix a day since 18th october and I have been feeling fine, sleeping better, feeling more energy etc. Floradix is not a B complex supplement but it has iron (II) from ferrous gluconate, vitamins B2, B6, B12 and C. I took 10ml as opposed to the 20ml a day recommended as I wanted to start small. What I was taking would amount to:

Vitamin C		8 mg
Thiamin		0.8 mg
Riboflavin		0.9 mg
Vitamin B6		0.4 mg
Vitamin B12		0.6 µg
Iron		7.5 mg

However in the past few days I have noticed an increase in anxiety, insomnia, feeling energised and a bit activated.

I did have a stomach bug for the past few weeks due to eating something that was out of date without realising and also becoming a bit too relaxed with my diet.
Am I going through a wave or has the floradix built up in my system? 
I haven't felt like this at all for the time I've been taking the floradix apart from now. It reminds me of the waves from the beginning of withdrawal. 

I would really appreciate if someone would get back to me. 

Thank you 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Heal95, how are you?