Jump to content

InChristAlone


InChristAlone

Recommended Posts

  • Moderator Emeritus
ChessieCat

If your symptoms only worsened due to the recent 2 bad nights of sleep, then I do NOT think that updosing is the way to go at this time.  When getting off psychiatric drugs there will most likely be times when things are more difficult than others.  And it's normal to feel bad when we don't get enough sleep even for people who have never taken drugs.  If the lack of sleep is NOT a withdrawal symptom, and we cannot always pin point the cause (sometimes it can be because the weather got hotter or cooler during the night, or there were noises, or we were worried about something or over stimulated) then updosing is being reactive instead of responsive.  It's a time when you use non drug coping skills to get through.

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Link to post
  • Replies 170
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • InChristAlone

    102

  • Mia1

    20

  • Shep

    19

  • ChessieCat

    9

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

I was in Lexapro 10 and 20mg (mostly 10) for 15 years. I was put on it when I was 19 after going through a breakup with my high school girlfriend. Also   , I have dealt with minor anxiety is

Thanks for the update, InChrist. Glad to read things are going so well. 

Excellent update! 

InChristAlone

Ok. Thank you! I have been noticing of late that sleeping is much more difficult on occasion. I never had sleeping problems on my meds and have not really had them during withdrawal. 
 

My withdrawal issues that I deal with while in withdrawal normal are much worse when I don’t sleep well. I know that can be expected. My mind has been going into panic mode as I get stressed about not sleeping as the night goes on. This seems to be building as I feel like I have been having nights where I don’t sleep more frequently. I am going to need to develop coping skills to relax my body and mind, so that I can sleep. 
 

I am hoping to ride out these nights and hope with time I adjust to stressing about sleeping. I have recently started to fear that insomnia would become a symptom for me, and that I won’t be able to handle it. I know that may be driving me not sleeping well. 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post
InChristAlone

Well, in the night last night I hit 72 hrs with only 2 hrs of sleep in that span. I took off work this morning and did something I really didn’t want to do. I took a 1 mg Klonopin and slept for 6.5 hrs. 
 

I felt like I was going to lose any ability to function if I didn’t get rest. I feel ok today, but feel a little down for having to give in. It’s my hope that if I can get a little sleep that I can get back to my withrdrawal normal. The sleep issue is the only thing keeping me from there right now. 
 

I do feel much better emotionally after some sleep. Last night, I wasn’t scared and was doing pretty well emotionally, but just felt like my body needed some sleep. I am a little frightened because I haven’t battled insomnia or be in such a tough wave in a while.

 

Also, I’d like to note that I had the first dose of the Pfizer vaccine on Sunday, August 29. I think I’ve heard of it causing some sleep disturbances. Wondering if that may have effected my highly sensitive CNS. 
 

How much of a setback is taking the Klonopin to sleep? Thoughts? 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post
On 9/8/2021 at 8:16 AM, InChristAlone said:

My mind has been going into panic mode as I get stressed about not sleeping as the night goes on. This seems to be building as I feel like I have been having nights where I don’t sleep more frequently.

I know it’s so hard when you don’t sleep but try not to place too much importance on a couple of bad nights. At the beginning of my journey I ct’ed a medication and slept maybe 1-2 hours every other night for a month. I was desperate to sleep and put so much emphasis on it that I developed sleep anxiety. It seems pretty common with a lot of other members on here.

 

Keep in mind sleep anxiety is a performance anxiety so the more you try to force yourself to sleep the less likely you will. And the more you think about it the more anxious you are likely to become.  So if you can just shift the focus to resting you’ll likely be able to relax more and fall asleep naturally. 

 

I can tell you from my experience with insomnia that you are not going to lose your ability to function. You’ll be tired and maybe it will make things feel a bit more intense but that’s it. So if you have a difficult night remind yourself that this is a part of the process and focus on relaxing. What helped me a lot was listening to sleep sounds such as rain, it’s very soothing and gave me something to focus on other than my thoughts. 

 

I personally wouldn’t take anything other than a small amount of melatonin for sleep. You really run the risk of emotional and physical dependence with a benzo as well as kindling, especially with such a high dose. If you feel okay today I doubt it did any harm but if you do decide to use it again I would use a much lower dose.

 

 I hope you feel better soon and please know your sleep will be restored, our bodies know what to do, we just need to get out of the way sometimes!!

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor

I’m definitely having one of my worst waves in a while. It felt like my body would go into panic mode every time I would drift off last night. I have rarely had sleeping problems, but the last two nights have been rough. 

 

Hi there, it looks like the sleep issues that you've been reporting in June and July could be the rapid taper you have been engaged in the past 10 months catching up with you.

 

 Nov 2020-37.5mg     2/15/21-7mg/      8/23/21-6.3mg

 

You went from 37.5 mgs to only 7mgs in only 3 months!

February to June is 4 months, a time frame well within the reaction period for symptoms to come crashing in.

 

Then, even though the wave was hitting you with different symptoms you dropped again only 2 months later.

8/23/21: 6.3 mgs.

 

I think the sleep issues are WD related, but since they were delayed your not realizing it as such.

I would caution against Klonopin for sleep.

 

A slight increase in the Effexor is a safer plan, the 10% drop less than 3 weeks ago after the wave in June and July was probably to much. You probably needed a longer stabilization period. Perhaps updosing to 6.6 would help stabilize you quicker, and it would be much less risky than adding Klonopin.

 

Your system is already destabilized and we have seen bad results from adding anxiety meds rather than a modest up dose, which is always safer.  One never know how many times one can take additional meds PRN before an adverse reaction kicks in.

 

 

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

Link to post
InChristAlone

Hey Colonial. Thank you so much for your support! The Klonopin was definitely a mistake. I haven’t had an adverse reaction yet, so I’m praying I don’t. Is there a usually timeframe that the adverse reaction occurs for a prn dose?

 

Last night I slept 8 hours with my normal meds. I wish I wouldn’t have made this last cut, and I have learned my lesson on the too fast taper. I intend to taper at a very slow rate. I don’t care if it takes two years or more to get to zero on Effexor. Then, I can taper Klonopin for the rest of my life if I have too. I finally understand the inch by inch though process.

 

I was doing well in withdrawal. Minor symptoms most days with the occasional day of depression. Then, I get hit with insomnia a few times over 3 months and I feel like I am going to lose my ability to function.

 

 

6 hours ago, Colonial said:

 

I think the sleep issues are WD related, but since they were delayed your not realizing it as such.

I would caution against Klonopin for sleep.

 

A slight increase in the Effexor is a safer plan, the 10% drop less than 3 weeks ago after the wave in June and July was probably to much. You probably needed a longer stabilization period. Perhaps updosing to 6.6 would help stabilize you quicker, and it would be much less risky than adding Klonopin.

 

 

Do you think I should updose to 6.6 or do you think last nights sleep is a good sign of some healing?  I want to do whatever will decrease suffering as much as possible. Thanks for your advice! 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post
InChristAlone
16 hours ago, Mia1 said:

 

I can tell you from my experience with insomnia that you are not going to lose your ability to function. You’ll be tired and maybe it will make things feel a bit more intense but that’s it. So if you have a difficult night remind yourself that this is a part of the process and focus on relaxing. What helped me a lot was listening to sleep sounds such as rain, it’s very soothing and gave me something to focus on other than my thoughts. 

 

I personally wouldn’t take anything other than a small amount of melatonin for sleep. You really run the risk of emotional and physical dependence with a benzo as well as kindling, especially with such a high dose. If you feel okay today I doubt it did any harm but if you do decide to use it again I would use a much lower dose.

 

 I hope you feel better soon and please know your sleep will be restored, our bodies know what to do, we just need to get out of the way sometimes!!

Thank you so much Mia for your continued advice and support! I didn’t even consider taking Klonopin last night because of your advice. I was just going to function the best I could with what sleep/rest I could get. 
 

I ended up sleeping 8 hrs and feel much better today! I’m going to enjoy those days and do my best on the hard ones.

 

I can’t express how grateful I am that you advices me against taking Klonopin for sleep. It seems harmless to take one occasionally, but I know better! 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor

The good news is since you do have a small amount of Klonopin in Your system to begin with, taking an occasional dose MAY be less likely to provoke an adverse reaction since your body is used to having a little of it, but when your take a whole 1mg your body reads that as inconsistent dosing, which can cause some destabilization.  Your already riding a wave from one wd and now your fiddling with the dosage of another. For many people an adverse reaction can occur within a few days, but if you had a good nights sleep last night a day after the dose that is a good sign.

 

WD waves come and go. If today is significantly better than yesterday you may already be starting to settle down and you may be ok staying at the 6.3, only you can decide if you think your making the turn for the better but don't be afraid to updose slightly if necessary.  This was a 10% drop which may have been too much so soon after the June-July delayed reaction wave.  We have to take into consideration not only how much time since our last drop, but since Our last bad wave. Dropping end of August after still being in a wave mid July ( 6 weeks) may have been too soon.

 

Have a better day!

 

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

Link to post
InChristAlone

I slept between 8-9 hours again last night. I really felt good yesterday, and I’m off to good stat today mentally and emotionally.

 

I did hurt my back a little yesterday, and I am having nasty spasms today. It’ll pass though. I’m set to get an MRI and see a back specialist in a couple weeks. It’s been flat in up since June. 
 

I’m hoping I’m coming out of the wave and hoping to stabilize into withdrawal normal. I wouldn’t be surprised if I end up with a few more nasty waves as I heal from cutting too fast. 
 

I do plan to hold for a significant amount t of time. I don’t even have a estimate of when I’ll cut again. It could be a year hold, even if it’s overkill to make sure I am completely stable. Sometimes I get in a hurry because I want to be 100%, but there is no hurrying this process. Hurrying only creates unnecessary pain. 
 

LESSON LEARNED IN MY PART!!!

 

God is in control though. 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post
InChristAlone

I have had much better sleep followed by much better days the last several days. 
 

I am still feeling a little stressed right now, but more closely approaching withdrawal normal. Hoping this was the worst wave because of the too fast tapering I’ve did early this year. Hoping to settle into withdrawal normal for quite some time now. 
 

I know it’s almost impossible to predict where I am in the process of stabilizing, but I continue to confirm to myself that I can handle it. 
 

It appears I may have herniated a disc in my back because it is still bothering me. Going to have an MRI done as soon as insurance approves. That on top of the Delta variant hitting my area pretty hard right now has caused my anxiety to feel a little high. I think I would not feel the anxiety as much if my system wasn’t destabilized at this point. 
 

I know my I am in the midst of great personal growth though. I can see glimpses of a stronger version of myself off in the future and occasionally get to experience it on a nice hours long windows. So thankful for those moments!!!

 

“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”


‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:1-5
 
Thanks is for all the support!!!

 

 

 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post
3 hours ago, InChristAlone said:

but I continue to confirm to myself that I can handle it. 

 

3 hours ago, InChristAlone said:

I know my I am in the midst of great personal growth though.

I’m so glad you are feeling better and approaching w/d normal. You definitely can handle this, look at how far you have come. I have always had a deep faith in God but one of the things this experience has taught me was to have faith in myself as well. To have faith that I can handle whatever challenges this w/d may bring.

 

it’s exciting how much we can grow if we allow it, I’m really happy for you and know that you will come out the other side so much stronger and more resilient than before!!

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
3 hours ago, InChristAlone said:

I know it’s almost impossible to predict where I am in the process of stabilizing, but I continue to confirm to myself that I can handle it. 

 

3 hours ago, InChristAlone said:

I know my I am in the midst of great personal growth though. I can see glimpses of a stronger version of myself off in the future and occasionally get to experience it on a nice hours long windows. So thankful for those moments!!!

 

With such a great positive attitude you will recover and stabilize much faster!

Enjoy the day.

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

Link to post
InChristAlone

This morning I seem pretty far away from withdrawal normal. Dozed off last night and woke up 30 minutes later with a panic attack. I was able to calm myself down and went on to sleep another 6.5 hours or so. 
 

I woke up pretty anxious this morning. That is pretty normal, but it doesn’t seem to be going away as usual. I was hit with some midday work related stress yesterday, and so yesterday afternoon was not as good as yesterday morning. 
 

I am going to deal with quite a bit of work-related stress this year. It’s part of an opportunity I was given that if I turned down I may never have been given the opportunity again. Of course in the middle of withdrawal is when this would happen. 🤦‍♂️ To compound problems I tapered out of control last year and am probably going to go through some windows and waves as I stabilize. 
 

I know outside stressors can make withdrawal worse. So far in withdrawal I’ve had my best days on busy days, so I’m hoping this eventually helps me along in the process. 
 

I do believe I am growing. I am frustrated without myself for the too fast tapering. I long for stabilizing. 
 

I think I am very afraid of not sleeping after experiencing a few nights where that was an issue. I think my fear of it is causing me to fall deeper into this wave. I’m guessing that overcoming/accepting that fear will be a part of growth and healing along my journey. 
 

I have faith that healing takes place one breath and one step at a time. 
 

“There is no fear in Love, but perfect Love casts out fear” I John 4:18

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...
InChristAlone

We’ll, after my last wave ended I had 10-12 days that felt like a window. Then Sunday night out of nowhere I couldn’t sleep. Ended up getting maybe 2 hrs of sleep. Slept around 3 hrs Monday night and maybe 4.5 last night. I felt horrible yesterday evening and today has started pretty rough. I’m working and functioning better than I would have earlier on when this all began with the Lexapro poop out. I’m hoping I am about to start working my way out of this wave.

 

Both of these spells of not sleeping well we’re exactly 3 weeks apart and both started 1 week after my Covid vaccine. Not sure if the vaccine got my system a little revved up or if it is just a coincidence. 
 

Does this all seem to fit an accurate timeframe of causing myself some suffering from my cuts that were too large 6-9 months ago? @ChessieCat

 

I am planning to hold for maybe a year or even a year and a half to stabilize. I’m hoping I am approaching a more stable situation. These 3-4 day bouts with insomnia are tough and have put a fear of bedtime in the back of my mind when I’m in a wave. I know that’s not helpful. The rough days make me lose some hope than I can one day manage without medicine, but I have faith that this is just a process. I have no intention of trying to rush this process ever again. I do so enjoy the windows, and I have to believe they are good signs of progress and healing. 
 

My faith and my family continue to help me take each day step by step.  

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor

Hi,

 

I'm the self appointed member who reminds everyone in the northern hemisphere that in Autumn your brain begins shutting down to hibernate for the winter, so it's making additional chemical changes your not even thinking about right now.  (Hence some people get seasonal affective disorder).

 

I experience neurological wd symptoms I know were from the Wellbutrin every Sept. Oct. even though I've been off it for years but as the years go by, they are less. Hopefully by mid October the chemistry changes will have evened out.

 

Just be kind to yourself and realize it will pass in another 6 weeks or so.

 

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

Link to post
InChristAlone

@ChessieCat 

@Shep

Reading through my intro today I noticed my symptoms have changed quite a bit. The struggle to sleep followed by really anxious and depressed days are my worst issues right now. I feel like I may be experiencing really tough waves like in the beginning. 
 

Is this common or more a result of cutting too much at one time? It’s been about 7 months since my last big cut, but I did a 10% cut last month. I wish I wouldn’t have done that now. 
 

Also, I’m curious about the effects of the Pfizer Covid vaccine I recently took. 
 

I wanted to reach out to you and see what advice and support you could offer me. I feel really rough today. I feel like I have set myself back permanently, which I know is withdrawal talking to me. 
 

Thank you for any advice! 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post
InChristAlone

Thank you Colonial! 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus
ChessieCat
8 hours ago, InChristAlone said:

Both of these spells of not sleeping well we’re exactly 3 weeks apart and both started 1 week after my Covid vaccine. Not sure if the vaccine got my system a little revved up or if it is just a coincidence. 

 

The fact that the same thing seems to have happened at about the same after having the vaccination seems to indicate that it has been caused by the vaccination.  That cannot be stated definitively, however it does make it more likely.  When something happens more than once it is less likely to be coincidence.

 

It is important to understand that any type of additional stress to/on the body can cause withdrawal symptoms to increase.  Some examples that members here have mentioned causing them worsening symptoms:  eating certain foods or too much, doing too much or a more strenuous exercise, going on holiday even if they wanted to go, bright lights, noisy environment.

 

The way that a vaccination works is that it introduces something into the body so that the body can learn to fight it / built up a resistance to it.  This is a stress on the body.

 

My tinnitus became worse at night after my first AZ vaccination.  That was 7 weeks ago.  Over the last few weeks it has gradually lessened.  I do not know for certain that the vaccination caused this.  My second vaccination is on Monday (7 weeks 5 days) after my first one.  It will be interesting to see if my tinnitus increasing again after the second dose.  I'm obviously hoping that it does not, however if it does I will consider it more likely to be the cause.

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Link to post
InChristAlone

Thanks @ChessieCat! I feel like I am in a rough soot right now. Didn’t sleep well last night. Maybe for 2-3 hrs if broken sleep. I’m trying to hold the course. It feels tough right now. 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post

I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time right now, it will get better, it always does. Time and patience and good self care will get you there. It sounds like you have a good plan going forward. Hang in there, sending you healing vibes 🌈❤️

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
On 9/29/2021 at 9:56 AM, InChristAlone said:

Both of these spells of not sleeping well we’re exactly 3 weeks apart and both started 1 week after my Covid vaccine. Not sure if the vaccine got my system a little revved up or if it is just a coincidence. 

 

 

Oh, I missed that part.

Yes, as Chessie cat points out very well that could be it.

 

I almost died from a flu shot about 20 years ago pre WD.

Hopefully you will settle as fast as after the first shot.

But it may be longer since this is 2 exposures so close together.

 

Fell better soon!

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

Link to post
InChristAlone

Thanks ChessieCat, Mia, and Colonial! I really appreciate the advice and support!!! 
 

Yesterday afternoon the wave seemed to start to lift away. I slept about 7.5 hrs last night. I feel decent this morning. In my experience, it seems that I can feel a wave lift, but it still takes a few days for me to forget about feeling so bad and accept that I am approaching a window. 
 

I really hope these last two waves were triggered by the vaccine because they were the worst I’ve had in a while. I am ready for a very long hold. I’m hoping to stabilize and live in withdrawal normal for a long while. I plan to give my body at least a year of healing in withdrawal normal before I make cuts. I’m at a small dose on both Effexor and Klonopin. I am really going to take my time removing what’s left of those drugs from my body. I don’t care how many years it takes. My goal is to make it as smooth and painless as possible.

 

I hope and pray everybody has good days ahead. My hope is I’m heading into a nice window. 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...
On 2/9/2021 at 8:16 PM, ChessieCat said:

You have not just made one large reduction but have continued to do so over several months.  What we have seen with other members who go too fast is that at some point the wheels end up falling off and it can take a long time for them to stabilise.  From what you have written it seems that yours are getting very wobbly

We’ll, the month of September and the beginning of October have been rough for me. Since September 7 I have had about 8 nights that I didn’t sleep well at all followed by slow progress to stabilizing. Then, it seems I have a sleepless night and it all starts over. It seems like the first sleepless night in a set will put me into a state of intense anxiety and depression for a few days. Then, I start to slowly come out of it. 

 

Is this kind of what you meant by the wheels coming off from tapering too fast? Is there a good possibility that this is what Im experiencing? I’m about 8 months out from several straight months of cuts that were too big. Is this a realistic timeframe to start to be hit by it? 
 

Today, I feel like Im on the slow climb out of a rough wave. I have faith that I will stabilize this time and not be knocked back down as soon as I start to feel stabilized. 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post
1 hour ago, InChristAlone said:

It seems like the first sleepless night in a set will put me into a state of intense anxiety and depression for a few days. Then, I start to slowly come out of it. 

Well the window and waves pattern definitely indicates you are healing, which is great. Do you think insomnia may have become a trigger for you? I know this is a tough one, not sleeping or sleeping well. You may want to be mindful of it and take steps to lower your anxiety if you happen to have a difficult night, it could make all the difference. 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
7 hours ago, Mia1 said:
8 hours ago, InChristAlone said:

 

Well the window and waves pattern definitely indicates you are healing, which is great. Do you think insomnia may have become a trigger for you? I know this is a tough one, not sleeping or sleeping well. You may want to be mindful of it and take steps to lower your anxiety if you happen to have a difficult night, it could make all the difference. 

I do hope I am on a pattern of healing. Yes, I believe not sleeping has become a trigger for me. I’m trying to learn to not let one bad night spiral into three or four bad nights which in turn results in even more bad days, but it seems like this is going to be a process to me. I am so used to being a good sleeper. 
 

Thank you Mia! 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post

Well, I think I’m still in a wave. Still having days that feel worse than anything I can remember in a long while. I did sleep better the last two nights and woke optimistic that the wave might lessen as the day went on, but for the most part it hasn’t. I’ve had decent moments, but they are short and not often. 
 

The last two days I did feel quite a bit of improvement in the evening. I’m hoping that happens tonight as well. I think I am quite a ways off from withdrawal normal. I’m hoping my system starts to stabilize soon. 
 

I think I’m too far out for it to be smart to updose any on my Effexor. I am going to be a good case study for having some in unnecessary trouble along the taper by going much too fast. 
 

I believe my issues are caused my tapering too much too fast. I hope that I stabilize soon and start the process of getting back to what withdrawal normal was soon.

 

I continue to tell myself that this wave is a great time of healing, but it doesn’t feel this way right now.

 

I still have my faith in Christ that he will use this to make me a better Christian man and hopefully I can help others one day.

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post
InChristAlone

I seem to have started to feel better yesterday. Today is off to a good start as well. I have slept well several nights in a row. 
 

I don’t know if my sleepless nights followed by a several crappy days is just a form of windows and waves or if the vaccine effected my system system and caused me some added discomfort. Either way I hope I am starting to stabilize and that things smooth out for me. 
 

I am in a place where if I can get stable I will finish my tapers very very slowly. 
 

For the past year or so, it seems that withdrawal normal for me is mostly a state of dealing with a lack of desire to do many of things I’ve loved in the past. And where waves and windows just mean that I might feel more anxious or depressed at times. Also, some physical symptoms will show up from time to time. And I’ll see the very occasional day where I feel completely recovered. Not enough of those. 😁
 

Last year was a solid year of feeling stable for the most part. I hope I am approaching that place again and that being stable will be even a little better than that. 
 

I know it’s possible that I may have to deal with the waves and windows like I have lately for a while longer, but I’m hopeful and praying that the worst is behind me. 
 

After having rough days again I am so grateful for the good ones. My hope and faith in what God is doing with me through this journey is still strong. I believe the outcome of this struggle will make me a better man! 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy