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Erell: struggling with paroxetine


Erell

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Rhi,

 

Thank you for sharing your knowledges with me! It is so important To me To make sure I understand every parts of this process.

 

1. You talk about my response To reinstatement  : I'm not sure I understand this because I did not do a reinstatement. I updosed To 10mg on August 22nd, and added a lot of suppléments during September (big mistake).

But I did not stopped Paroxetine. That is why I'm concerned about my state, I did not coldturkeyed...

Can you explain me why you talk about reinstatement?

 

2. When you talk about feeling bad for a few months, I know I have To take some décisions. I won't be able To go back To my current job in this state, so I may have To quit it. This means i Will have To go back To live with my parents because I won't be able To pay my rent. So I have To take care of all this week (because I'm supposed To go back To work next monday). It's gonna be hard. 

 

3. I won't do anything crazy, I'm too scared of every psychdrugs now ! 

What scares me is the possible réaction of my parents : as I Will dépend on them, I hope they won't try To make me go in an hospital. 

 

4. To be honest, I don't care about tappering for now. All that matter To me is To Feel better, and live without terror.

 

 

I wanna thank you Rhi for your honesty,  even if it's hard To realize how much my life is going To change quickly. 

 

I apologize for this long message, just trying To make sure I understand everything. 

 

 

Have a great day Rhi! 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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That's very nice of you, but I have to confess...I have a terrible English accent 😅  It's easier for me to write rather than speak : while writing, I have all the time I need to think, find a tra

Just a little gift from Brittany to thank you for your support ❤️  

During WD and recovery, we all reach a point where we've just had enough.  We can't take one more day of anxiety or fear or aches or sleeplessness.  I had many days like that. But each moment offers a

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@Rhiannon and @Guilietta : you both talk like if I had reinstatement..but I did'nt..Or I misunderstand the meaning of this Word?..

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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  • Moderator Emeritus
8 minutes ago, Erell said:

@Rhiannon and @Guilietta : you both talk like if I had reinstatement..but I did'nt..Or I misunderstand the meaning of this Word?..

 

I am probably not using the term correctly. I am referring to when you went from 8.4 back up to 10 mg in August, then 12 then 10 again. I thought you had stayed at 10 but I see you went to 15 for a day or two there. 

 

Best to stay at the same dose now. What your brain needs right now is stability and TIME. Once things are destabilized and bouncing around like they are right now, there is no magical dose or medication that will make it better. Any changes will just make it worse, honestly, and make it take longer to settle down. I believe you are learning this. It is the hardest thing, to be patient.

 

Also I think you know that when you do begin to taper again many months from now, you will need to go at a slower pace. Unfortunately you have the kind of history that usually means a very slow taper is required. It's okay, though, if you take it slow you will probably feel pretty good most of the time.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Stop overanalysing.

Stop using the phone, take it to bed to use in the morning if necessary.

Relax before bed.

 

Good night

 

Sas

Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

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@Rhiannon : yes, I don't wanna change anything with my dose and won't touch To my 10mg! I'm too scared and I know that there's no magic pill.

 

I know that if I ever tapper again i Will have To go sloooooooowly. But as I Said I'm not thinking about this for now 

 

What really scares me now is To quit m'y job and move from my flat To my parents house. 

 

 

I'm sorry To all of you,  never been so négative and now I Feel like i overwhelm everybody with my fears.

 

 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Your fears are much more overwhelming to you than they are to us. Your brain chemistry is causing you to feel those fears and to think scary thoughts. Do what you need to do, but if you can avoid taking drastic action until you feel better, that might be best. Can you get your job to agree to a leave for a few months? Would your parents loan you money to be able to stay in your place for a few months? Things will be different.

 

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Hi Erell

 

So sorry you're going through this. I went through it with paroxetine and I know that terror and it does eventually go, it really does. It does get easier to deal with and lessen.

 

I held at 5mg for over 2 years before I started tapering again.

 

I have other problems but that terror, agitation, horrendous anxiety and the rest have gone for the last 2 years. 

 

My fears spilled out all over and most people understood.

 

Hang in there and try stick to a dose.

April 2007 -  Seroxat 20mg

August 2008 - Cold Turkey

August 2009 - Cold Turkey

November 2009 - Reinstatement adverse reaction akathesia/suicidal/anxiety

March 2011 - Start taper

November 2012 - Crash badly at 1.25mg akathesia/suicidal/extreme anxiety

January 2013 - 5mg Seroxat, 300mg  Lyrica

April 2017 - Successfully get off Seroxat with taper followed by 4 month of withdrawal 

January 2018 - Start with constant urinary urge/pain/burning/genital sensations 2 week after anxiety/akathesia ends

January 2019 - Started reducing Lyrica as I suspect it's causing frequent urination, tinnitus, fatigue, brain fog and mental decline.

December 2019 - Off all pysch meds

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4 hours ago, Rhiannon said:

Your fears are much more overwhelming to you than they are to us. Your brain chemistry is causing you to feel those fears and to think scary thoughts. Do what you need to do, but if you can avoid taking drastic action until you feel better, that might be best. Can you get your job to agree to a leave for a few months? Would your parents loan you money to be able to stay in your place for a few months? Things will be different.

 

Hello Erell,

 

@Rhiannon is completely right - I am just chiming in. :)  

 

As our brains  adjust to less drug or absence of a drug - unpleasant emotions - panic, anxiety, terror, fear, etc.  manifest themselves without cause. Even though we are not in any danger (for example there is no lion chasing us) neuronal activity generates the fear response in us.  The fear seems real but it is not. 

 

I noticed you use a lot of 'what if's.' Very often people who are anxious use 'what if's a lot. ;) I am learning not to do so much of this. Most of the time (or very often) the 'what if's' don't  happen. It is wasted mental energy.

 

5 hours ago, Erell said:

What scares me is the possible réaction of my parents : as I Will dépend on them, I hope they won't try To make me go in an hospital. 

 

I see 'possible reaction' and that seems to me to be a 'what if'.  If you move in with your parents - let them know how to help you get better.  Let them know that you do not want to go to the hospital. Might this work?

 

 

@Boris Noticed your 'feel like a zombie' in your signature - sense of humor. :). I am a  CT/quick taper off duloxetine - a short-term SNRI - and this came with nasty anxiety, fear, panic, etc.  which I hope will be behind me - and for Erell too.

 

 

 

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Hello !

 

@Sassenach : you're probably right, I'm overanalysing. My life has changed in so many ways  in only one month, I have To realize it.

 

@Rhiannon : about drastic décisions  : I ddon't  know what I'm going To do, I'm gonna try To deal with it Today. 

 

@Boris : thank you for your support. And yes I Will definitely stick To that dose! ;)

 

@Guilietta : yes lot of what if right now...conséquences of the unknow. Will try To make positive what if ;)

 

 

Thank you all, your support means everything!

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Good morning

Did you sleep any better?

How are you feeling this morning?

Sass

 

 

Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

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  • Moderator

Good morning Sass!

 

I did not sleep Well, woke up every hour with High anxiety. 

This morning, I have a lot if High anxiety and despair. 

 

I know that nothing else can be done,  so I try To focus on healing. This is really hard.

 

I started magnesium : less than a quarter of a coffee spoon in a glass of water. I'm going To sipper it throughough the day.

 

I hope you're doing better than yesterday.

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Any terrors?

Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

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  • Moderator

This night yes, I woke up with terrors

 

This morning, it is not terror but à very High anxiety and despair.

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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  • Moderator

I also had terrible nauseas this night : they made me able To go through terrors. Everytime I have a physical symptom, I focus on it To escape from my head.

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Please do not forget your diaries they are especially important at the moment.

I need to be able to keep track of your symptoms accurately.

Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

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  • Moderator

Monday 30th Sept ( day 6 on 10mg) :

 

7.30 am woke up anxious ( anxiety : 7 / despair  : 7)

8 am : 10mg Paroxetine 

9.30 am : nausea

All morning : anxiety : 7 / despair  : 7

1.15 pm terrors all afternoon.

4pm a friend called,I cried all time. ( it feels Nice To cry). This friend has tappered from Effexor a few years ago, in only 3 months, and had no symptoms.

It increased my despair To a 9 rate.

4pm To 6pm anxiety : 7 / despair : 7.

Restlessness : 7.

6pm tried legs up on wall but it gave me a lot of tremors.

All evening: anxiety  : 6-7 / despair  : 6-7.

Fell asleep at 1am. Then woke up every hours with terrors or High anxiety.

1.36 am : woke up with strong nauseas.

 

This morning I woke up at 6am. Anxiety : 7 / despair  : 7.

 

I have To admitt that I don't see any pattern in my diaries.

Thank you for Being here Sass.

 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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  • Moderator

With all what Rhiannon and Guilietta said yesterday, I understand that I'm gonna have awfull months. I know that there is nothing To do but hold. 

I just don't know how To stay strong with this level of anxiety. At least I used To sleep Well, but now I have no moment of peace. 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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  • Moderator

I know that you're right about holding, and I don't plan any change ;)

 

Take care .

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

Link to post
5 hours ago, Erell said:

I just don't know how To stay strong with this level of anxiety. At least I used To sleep Well, but now I have no moment of peace. 

 

Hello Erell,

 

Just a quick note -  writing in bullet points so maybe easier to undestand:

  • Accept that the anxiety is going to be along to varying degrees on some days more than others. I learned to expect this and find ways to soothe myself (watch TV he lped take my mind off this and being around others I felt less anxious).
  • Seeing all the other people who succeeded and were struggling here on AD helped me to know to accept this as part of recovery and determination to stay the course. :)
  • Although everyone's experiences are different - I can tell you that my experience with anxiety, jitteriness, tremors, panic, insomnia, etc.  were the worst in the early months of my discontinuation by far.  I was like you are now - anxiety, panic, etc. all day for a while. Then the mornings became much better and the afternoons were bad iwth anxiety and bad tinnitus. That has diminished greatly.   
  • I am not unique. Others have done this and worse.  I am getting better and WD symptoms are much more tolerable. You will too.
  • I reminded myself  repeatedly that in spite of this discomfort and fear (which are 'artificial' as a confused brain tries to heal itself) that I was another step closer to success in getting off duloxetine.  I still  to remind myself that my healing continues.
  • Write down  why I am getting off of this garbage and look at it when I need reminding. :)

To feel better about myself in general -  when I was able

  • Do things to help others. It made me feel more positively about myself to do something for other people.
  • Did things to take care of myself. If someone you loved was sick - what would you do to help them?
  • Set small goals to achieve and feel proud of myself for doing them.

There's so much to learn on SA from articles and the experience of others. If something is not clear to you in my English - just asl me what it means. Your English is very good.

 

Have a pleasant day. :)

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Hi Erell, I’m pretty new here also. I just wanted to reach out and lend support and tell you I’m going through much like you are. I’m older than you 52  female and have been tapering off Paxil this year. I’ve been on it for 9 years and unfortunately followed the advice of a book instead of doing the 10% method outlined on this site. Learned a little late, but I’m hopeful. I’m having my own struggles, I’m not sleeping well, have tinnitus, jittery, anxiety. I feel guilty about putting such a burden on my husband and two children who still live at home.( they are 20 and 23 years of age) I’m not driving at the moment, just mostly at home. I’m not working, I’m not sure if that is good or bad, bad for being alone to think too much. 

You seem to have really good support from all of moderators who have posted on your page, they all seem so helpful and encouraging. We have to take things just one day at a time, it’s so difficult, I truly know. My withdrawal started about two months ago, and it’s by the worst two months of my life. You’ll get through this, we both will. Your getting sleep and that’s so wonderful, put that in your gratitude journal daily, I’m envious.😊 I live in Canada, my mother is French Canadian and my father was from Glasgow, Scotland, so my ethnic background is European, too bad my mother never taught me French, lol. Well I need to take out my dogs for a short walk, you will get through this and I’ll follow your thread. I haven’t posted much in this forum because I didn’t feel like I could offer much help, but maybe knowing that someone else out there totally understands and has so much empathy for you is enough. Wishing you well and healing, and yes stay way from the negative information that will send you into more anxiety.

 

 

 

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I remember this well with some anxiety UK forums I used a long time ago. Stopped using anything online during my Paroxetine withdrawal, made me too anxious.

 

Everyone is making their own journey I guess.

 

Edited by Erell

April 2007 -  Seroxat 20mg

August 2008 - Cold Turkey

August 2009 - Cold Turkey

November 2009 - Reinstatement adverse reaction akathesia/suicidal/anxiety

March 2011 - Start taper

November 2012 - Crash badly at 1.25mg akathesia/suicidal/extreme anxiety

January 2013 - 5mg Seroxat, 300mg  Lyrica

April 2017 - Successfully get off Seroxat with taper followed by 4 month of withdrawal 

January 2018 - Start with constant urinary urge/pain/burning/genital sensations 2 week after anxiety/akathesia ends

January 2019 - Started reducing Lyrica as I suspect it's causing frequent urination, tinnitus, fatigue, brain fog and mental decline.

December 2019 - Off all pysch meds

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  • Moderator

Quick update of my day :

 

--》 I started this morning To take magnesium citrate  (spirring tthroughough the day ). Seems To be ok.

--》 I had High level of anxiety and despair this morning and this afternoon, since 5pm it decreases.

--》I had my dad on the Phone this morning : I found him supportive even if he doesn't understand. It felt Nice. Also Guilty because I know they are scared and sad. But, it is great To know that he Will support me psychologically and financially! I also send him an email with some links from here

I also have To call my boss To see what can be done about work, but I avoidded it all day.

--》 I have been able To Feel motivated To clean m'y flat : I only did a bit, but felt good To be active! My flat is in a pretty bad state...

--》 I also have been able To take a few walks outside, and for that I'm grateful!

--》 I still have To work on acceptance  : everytime I think about next few months, next waves, not being able To work next months...it increases violently my anxiety and despair!

--》 Today Being a bit more active, I noticed I have back pain. However I'm not worried  : I spent so much time in m'y bed!

--》 my appetite is still very low, I  try To force myself and eat a lot of bananas.

 

 

 

To summarise, it was a better day, no doubt! I availed To do relaxation and meditation exercices (when terror hits me I just can't). Can't say I Feel good, but can say it is wonderful To Feel the anxiety decreasing !

 

I'm going To read carefully what you all wrote here Today, but I already wanna thank you warmly !!!!

 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Erell

10 hours ago, Erell said:

have To admitt that I don't see any pattern in my diaries

 

There is a pattern as follows:

Because of the changes your CNS was confused.

I confused it further by telling you to drop to 10mgs ( that dose is looking good )

For a couple of days your brain is not sure how to react so you feel better ( honeymoon period )

Your brain then gets into gear and begins undoing the changes made by the meds.

Chaos as the brain decides where to start.

After a few days it gets into its stride and things settle down a little.

Hopefully from there recovery slowly begins.

32 minutes ago, Erell said:

everytime I think about next few months, next waves, not being able To work next months...it increases violently my anxiety and despair!

This will improve as you will begin to accept your situation, it happens naturally for most of us.

32 minutes ago, Erell said:

》I had my dad on the Phone this morning : I found him supportive even if he doesn't understand. It felt Nice. Also Guilty because I know they are scared and sad. But, it is great To know that he Will support me psychologically and financially! I also send him an email with some links from here

This really great news on two fronts.

First it means you have great support and that cannot be underestimated.

Second, I am sure you do not wish to accept financial help but will help keep your situation stable if necessary if it there.

 

It is good you have had a better day.

 

You need a good sleep tonight.

If you have a bath take a nice relaxing one, or a hot shower.

Read but no TV after 8pm.

Phone off at 8pm.

Sorry to be so long getting to you but could see you posting to others, which I knew was a good sign.

 

Sleep well

 

 

Edited by Sassenach
missed out info

Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

Link to post
  • Moderator

@Guilietta : thank you for all this tools. Everytime I Feel anxiety decreases a bit, I try différent tools. Yesterday night it was : lullaby and sudoku 😉

Thank you for all your precious tools!

I really admire you for your acceptance! 

 

@Bigbird : welcome here! I'm going To read your thread ! 

I'm really sorry that you're going through a rough time. Yes we have to truly believe we Will heal, and stay positive  :)

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

Link to post
  • Moderator

@Sassenach : don't be sorry, of course you have your life ;)

And as you said, when I write on other threads it means I Feel better ;)

 

1. I'm not sure I understand the honeymoon time : was it last week when I felt better? Or it is now?

 

2.you're totally right, I should stop the Phone earlyer. Anxiety makes me obsessed and I spend too much time here trying To find réassurance.

 

It always gives me comfort To read you, thank you!

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus
3 minutes ago, Erell said:

1. I'm not sure I understand the honeymoon time : was it last week when I felt better?

It was last week after dose change.

" honeymoon " because it feels better before it gets worse again then levels out as now.

Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

Link to post
  • Moderator

Thank you for your explainations! 

Now it is time To off the Phone ;)

 

Wish you a good evening Sass!

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus
22 hours ago, Sassenach said:

Stop overanalysing.

Stop using the phone, take it to bed to use in the morning if necessary.

Relax before bed.

 

Good night

 

Sas

I wish there was a "like" button here 🙂

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

Link to post
3 hours ago, Erell said:

2.you're totally right, I should stop the Phone earlyer. Anxiety makes me obsessed and I spend too much time here trying To find réassurance.

 

Hello Erell,

 

A few bits about good sleep practice:

 

Turn the phone off by 8 pm? and don't use your computer or ipad if you have one after 7 pm and no later than 7.30 pm.

  • Even if you use bluel-light filter glasses - the thinking/analyzing, etc. is very activating. When I am on the computer past 7 -7.30 my insomnia is much worse.

From 6 pm on - focus on positive thoughts. Our brains remember what we think of the last 2-3 hours we are awake. This is time to be grateful and do relaxation exercises that you have (for example). 

 

I find that the information on WD and our difficulties to be very anxiety-provoking also.     I need to limit my time online to help reduce my overall anxiety until I learn much better coping skills.  

 

@Rhiannon@Sassenach@Erell

 

Why does our brain create anxiety when we are online?

Even though anxiety/fear is just what our brains are creating  - and there is no physical danger from being online on SA - why does this happen?

And how can we problem solve so we can learn new things on the site and support others?

 

Giuilietta

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Moderator

Hi @Guilietta !

 

Why does our brain create anxiety here ? To me there are several reasons, and maybe there are différent for everyone  :

 

- we already are anxious, and we search réassurance. Here, we learn a lot of precious things, but also that there is a very large part of unknown : because there is a lack of studies,  because every Wd is individual,...

I think this unknown part creates anxiety because all we wanna hear is : don't worry,  tomorrow Will be great ! But nobody can tell us that.

- in my case, having be given other advices on the FrenchForum created a lot of anxiety. Because then my mind was wildly open To doubt...

i think we spend a lot of time here To read and read again all the information, To fight the doubt. Am I really doing the good thing ?

- and we Feel lonely  : because we are isolated, because nobody else really understand. 

We are also desperate about it and wanna be in relation with others! And we make it here. It is normal. But, here, there are a lot of people who suffers, and negativity. So even if it is good To be talking To people, it might also create anxiety. Plus, talkings here are about WD, and it's logical.  But it also means that we get obsessed by the subject.

Feel free To mp me, we could talk about everything else ;)

 

That is the reason why I admire the mods: they are dealing with their anxiety while taking care of ours 😮 I hope that one day I'll be able To help others like they do! But for now, I know I can't. 

 

 

In my case, I know I spend too much time here. But I also know that when I'm feeling better I'm able To spend less time here, or just To write something Nice To others.

So I try To be gentle with myself : I'm actually learning a lot of new things, so it's ok if I Feel the need To read and read again ;) plus the English thing...plus the 'I wanna understand everything or it makes me crazy ' thing ;)

 

So, be gentle with yourself too :)

 

 

As Sass would say, for now stop overanalysing and go To bed 😄 have a good night sweet Guilietta!

 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

Link to post
  • Moderator

Tuesday 1st Oct / Day 7 on 10mg Paroxetine  / day 1 on magnésium citrate.

 

6am woke up anxious (7)

8 am 10mg Paroxetine 

10.50 am short walk in the neighborhood

12h phonecall with dad, then a short walk outside 

All the day : High anxiety 7 / despair: 7

But I also managed To clean a bit my flat and stayed out of bed.

 

5pm anxiety decreases (5), so does despair (4). It Will decrease then for the  rest of the day..

8pm : too tired, go To bed with a book and lullaby.

10.30 pm anxiety is at 2 😮😊

11.30 pm was trying To sleep but High restlessness in legs, really high. Put soap in my bed like I read on this forum..couldn't tell if it worked!

I don't know when I fell asleep : between midnight and 1am.  Also, don't know if I woke up in the night, I have the feeling that I did, but couldn't tell.

 

This morning  : woke up at 6.30 am, anxious at 6.

 

 

--》 I know it is too early in the process To celebrate,  but yesterday evening was so great..best evening in a month ! I even had a few tears of relief. 

Thanks To all of you for this precious moment! 

--》Yesterday I did not manage To eat a lot. Essentially bananas, and a pièce of fish. 

--》 Yesterday evening, I felt a lot of aches in my body, like if I had a marathon before. But not worried : my muscles have been so tense during this month!

--》 restlessness in legs Being so hard was new To me : I ddon't know if magnésium is related, I'm gonna observe Today.

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

Good morning

I see you have done the morning hospital rounds already doctor. 😁.

Hopefully that means you are feeling a little better this morning.

Did your sleep improve last night?

 

Sass

 

Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

Link to post
  • Moderator

Hi Sass!

 

Yes, I'm feeling better! Still very anxious but less than yesterday! And the memory of my evening is so sweet 😊

 

I struggled To fall asleep because of strong restlessness in legs,  but I think I might have slept 5hours, and a bit deeper.

 

Today morning is rainy and cold, so I Feel less Guilty about staying in bed ;)

 

I was thinking of you and looking at pictures of Scotland on Google...definitely, what a bonny Scotland!

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

Link to post

Coucou Erell

I've seen your post concerning the French forum.

I hope you won't mind but i prefer To stay anonymous,i just want To be on a new background.Have a Nice day.

Frenchie.

Effexor(venlafaxine)started end of 2009, various doses.

Clonazepam drops 2010/2011.Effexor

2014:150mg.Nov 2014:50mg crash.:RI Effexor 75mg.Dec14 :updosed to150 mg then decreased to 112.5mg.Benzos.Prazepam on low dose.

Feb 2015:Updosed Effexor To 150mg.Tapered prazepam many months and went off.

2018:Effexor 150 mg.Taper alterning doses 150 mg/112.5 mg.Some beads out from 1 caps of 75 mg + one 75 mg.Effexor RI at 150mg July +3 drops clonazepam.

Dec 2018 in Clinic Effexor updosed to187.5 mg.2 drops clonazepam then 1.

Jan 19.less than 1 drop clonazepam.Updosed To 1.5 drop In June.Since July slowly decreasing To 1.15 drop.

Mid Feb 2019: effexor 187.5mg decreased To 150mg.

Late March 2019,Effexor 150mg decreased To 112.5mg.Holding dose til now.

At night escholtzia+passionflower.

 

 

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  • Moderator

Coucou Frenchie 

Of course I don't mind, I totally understand you! I was Being curious, sorry for that!

When I signed up here I wondered if it was a good idea To put my real name.

 

Have a Nice day too 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

Link to post
  • Moderator

Update of the day :

 

---》 I woke up anxious this morning (6).

But since 10am, it is a low anxiety (3), with quick Spikes (6/7). mostly these Spikes were due To intrusive thoughts : "you are overcelebrating, you are going To have horrible months, next wave of terror is coming "...

 

---》 i've been able To drive and take a walk on the coast!!!! This is definitely m'y biggest point on the gratitude list!! 😀

 

-- 》 i've been angry at me Today...instead of High anxiety, I felt highly depressed all day (Spikes of melancholia, unable To distract, life in Grey, ruminate a lot, feels like life has only a taste of sadness...). I was so angry : anxiety has decreased and I'm still complaining? I'm such an idiot for not being able To Simply enjoy the day!

But then I thought : Well, maybe this is not me, these depressed feelings may just also be WD symptoms...i still don't know ;)

 

--》 I coped these depressed feelings by going outside many times, thanks To the low anxiety. Contrarily To the previous days, my flat depressed me and I felt the need To be somewhere else.

 

--》 strange new feeling Today: I spent all day believing it was evening. Everytime I looked at the clock,  I was really surprised! Not worried about it : I saw on this forum that time distorsion was quite common. I also think this is related with dépression.

 

If I had To summarise, this day was wonderful in terms of anxiety, and for that I'm very, very grateful!!

Again, thank you all : I had (and still have sometimes) a lot of doubts and fear  : thanks To your advices, I held my dose and did'nt make foolish changes. 

Sass, thank you for your patience since my first post! 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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