sunnysideup69: what can I do to stabilise on venlafaxine

[sunnysideup69]

Hi @brassmonkey,

Quick question for you, hope you don't mind. Would the 'ten month wave' possibility still apply in my case, ie where I did a cold medication switch last August? It's now ten months since the switch, where I dropped Citalopram overnight. Or is it only applicable where people have completely come off meds altogether?

 

Not in a wave at the moment, just at WD normal most of the time, tbh, feel worse in the mornings and better as day progresses.  Just curious. Thank you, hope you're thriving  

[sunnysideup69]

Ok, well, bit of a tearful feeling day today. Weird weather here in London, really muggy. Also, as of today in England, shops other than food shops are opening. There were a lot more people on the street today in my little neck of the woods.

 

We can also form 'support bubbles' with another family, if we are a single person household ( I am.) So, am finally able to plan a trip to see my parents in Wiltshire, on 27th to 29th June.

 

Strange times. Hopefully will have a better day tomorrow. Bit of a no-motivation day today, have a long list of things to do and don't wanna do them.

 

[mstimc]

There's nothing wring with taking a day to relax and regroup, Sunnyside.  Things are opening up here in Portugal too but we're in no rush to run out and see if everything is safe.  But its  great you can visit with your family soon!

[Hanna72]

Hey sunny, yes these are strange times. I am glad to hear that you will be able to see your parents. 
Like mstimc said, there is nothing wrong with a relaxing day. We don’t have to be always running around and occupied in stuff to do.   You have always been so kind to me and encouraging, just wanted to give it back to you. 
Enjoy today🙏

[sunnysideup69]

1 hour ago, mstimc said:

There's nothing wring with taking a day to relax and regroup, Sunnyside.  Things are opening up here in Portugal too but we're in no rush to run out and see if everything is safe.  But its  great you can visit with your family soon!

 

Thanks mstimc! Yeah, am really gonna take venturing out into the world slowly and am so looking forward to seeing my parents.

 

6 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

Hey sunny, yes these are strange times. I am glad to hear that you will be able to see your parents. 
Like mstimc said, there is nothing wrong with a relaxing day. We don’t have to be always running around and occupied in stuff to do.   You have always been so kind to me and encouraging, just wanted to give it back to you. 
Enjoy today🙏

 

Aw, thank you Hanna. I've been in a bit of a weird mood all day and yes, have now surrendered and am just slouched on the sofa. Feeling ok again this evening. Weird how these chemical moods come and go.

[Longroadhome]

1 hour ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Ok, well, bit of a tearful feeling day today. Weird weather here in London, really muggy. Also, as of today in England, shops other than food shops are opening. There were a lot more people on the street today in my little neck of the woods.

 

We can also form 'support bubbles' with another family, if we are a single person household ( I am.) So, am finally able to plan a trip to see my parents in Wiltshire, on 27th to 29th June.

 

Strange times. Hopefully will have a better day tomorrow. Bit of a no-motivation day today, have a long list of things to do and don't wanna do them.

 

This  is good news that you will be able to see your parents 

something to look forward to not just because you haven’t been in their company  for so long But also because of the passing of your siblings . You will be able to share memories while being together. That will be very comforting for each of you . 
Changes to our system maybe some Re wiring  (Mending and fixing) without us being aware can create emotional days and maybe that’s what your having today plus changes in the environment . More people around. I too have found this a little overwhelming . 
I have enjoyed the peace and solitude and today has ramped up my anxiety somewhat . Like the world is coming alive again and I can’t enjoy it..

and it’s ok to have a no motivation day. I know I have those and I bet many do going through WD.

it can happen for many reasons  lack of sleep maybe a little re wiring Or just plain old fatigue. 
tomorrow may be the same or different either way it’s our attitude towards it that can uplift the day or not. Save your list for a better tomorrow and that’s fine. 
You have done so well holding and waiting for stability. I speak with another member on this site that waited well over a year for stability. Her bad days started to ease off with small windows initially. These got better and better .  Today she is almost symptom free and has only  a small amount of AD left to taper . She’s in no rush to do this at the moment . 
your time will come. 
by the way I’ve booked an phone  appointment With Baylissa Frederick this month . 
take care of yourself 

LRH 

 

[sunnysideup69]

@Longroadhome, such lovely and encouraging words, thank you!

Yes, it;s going to be so good to see mum and dad, especially since bro and sister dying. Gonna visit a lot over summer.

Also yes, I did wonder if the prospect of things changing in the environment created a little wave today...bit emotional, still grief working its way through, too....also, just a bit bored now. Lots of Zoom calls with friends but missing actual company...friend coming over for lunch on Wednesday, that will be nice!

 

Oh wow, would love to know who is your friend here who waited over a year for stability....would you mind naming them and i might check out their profile for some inspiration? I feel like I'm close to stable, waves are pretty mild now. Would like a few longer strings of windows but hey....

Good move on making an appointment with Baylissa! Have you had a session with her before? Be interested to know how you find it.

 

How are you doing? Hoping you're ok?

[Longroadhome]

17 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

@Longroadhome, such lovely and encouraging words, thank you!

Yes, it;s going to be so good to see mum and dad, especially since bro and sister dying. Gonna visit a lot over summer.

Also yes, I did wonder if the prospect of things changing in the environment created a little wave today...bit emotional, still grief working its way through, too....also, just a bit bored now. Lots of Zoom calls with friends but missing actual company...friend coming over for lunch on Wednesday, that will be nice!

 

Oh wow, would love to know who is your friend here who waited over a year for stability....would you mind naming them and i might check out their profile for some inspiration? I feel like I'm close to stable, waves are pretty mild now. Would like a few longer strings of windows but hey....

Good move on making an appointment with Baylissa! Have you had a session with her before? Be interested to know how you find it.

 

How are you doing? Hoping you're ok?

Her site name is Mirage. she is doing so well now and has been an inspiration so brave and courageous. 
It’s  my first session with Baylissa. Mirage has had a session and thoroughly recommended. will let you know how it goes . 

I have never been symptom free and don’t think I have had a true window to date. But I do have days that are better than others.  I feel it’s my attitude towards the symptoms that can make or break the day. 
I’m down to 5.4mg Paxil And hoping as I go lower symptoms will start to diminish. They have to at some point. I have approx 1.5 yr before I’m Paxil free unless I bridge with Prozac. I’m going to wait until the end of the year when I will be down to 3mg and off the pregabalin of which I’ve tapered to 35mg To date, before I decide about the Paxil switch . Brass monkey never had a window until he tapered down to 3mg of Paxil So I’m waiting it out ..  I’m also following Erells  progress With interest . 

 

 

 

 

[brassmonkey]

The "ten month wave" or  "late breaking wave" because it doesn't always happen at 10 months, is something that sometimes happens to people after they have made the jump to "0" following a slow and controlled taper. Any wave during a taper, CT, from stress or changing/adding medications is just a wave.

[sunnysideup69]

2 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

The "ten month wave" or  "late breaking wave" because it doesn't always happen at 10 months, is something that sometimes happens to people after they have made the jump to "0" following a slow and controlled taper. Any wave during a taper, CT, from stress or changing/adding medications is just a wave.

Thank you, that clarifies things for me  

[sunnysideup69]

3 minutes ago, Longroadhome said:

Her site name is Mirage. she is doing so well now and has been an inspiration so brave and courageous. 
It’s  my first session with Baylissa. Mirage has had a session and thoroughly recommended. will let you know how it goes . 

I have never been symptom free and don’t think I have had a true window to date. But I do have days that are better than others.  I feel it’s my attitude towards the symptoms that can make or break the day. 
I’m down to 5.4mg Paxil And hoping as I go lower symptoms will start to diminish. They have to at some point. I have approx 1.5 yr before I’m Paxil free unless I bridge with Prozac. I’m going to wait until the end of the year when I will be down to 3mg and off the pregabalin of which I’ve tapered to 35mg To date, before I decide about the Paxil switch . Brass monkey never had a window until he tapered down to 3mg of Paxil So I’m waiting it out ..  I’m also following Erells  progress With interest . 

 

 

 

 

You're doing really well, LRH. I know you are tapering out of poopout, too, which can't be a whole lot of fun. But you're really getting there...I also think you'll start to get true windows at a certain point. Fingers crossed it happens for you soon  

[Longroadhome]

10 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

You're doing really well, LRH. I know you are tapering out of poopout, too, which can't be a whole lot of fun. But you're really getting there...I also think you'll start to get true windows at a certain point. Fingers crossed it happens for you soon  

Thank you Sunny 

hope today is a better day for you 😊

[sunnysideup69]

34 minutes ago, Longroadhome said:

Thank you Sunny 

hope today is a better day for you 😊

Thanks, LRH. It has started better. Going for a long walk in a mo, then bath, then get on with the day. 

Have a good day 😊 By the way, been reading Mirage's thread. Wow, she has held for a LONG time. That actually encourages me. I now don't feel that a ten month hold is such a long time. I want to be as stable as possible before I taper, so if that entails waiting for a year plus, then so be it.

[mstimc]

14 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Thanks mstimc! Yeah, am really gonna take venturing out into the world slowly and am so looking forward to seeing my parents.

We've been to a couple restaurants with friends.  So far so good.  The places here are good about following safety and separation rules.  The ones with outside dining are doing the business but inside is still pretty sparse.  

 

In my recovery journey, I've found I'm much better dealing with the reality of a situation as opposed to the possibilities.  My anticipatory anxiety is always worse than reality.  I've found it pretty easy to adjust to the "new reality" now that its here.  We take common-sense preventive steps, of course, but I seem to be adjusting.  I bet you will too!

[sunnysideup69]

3 hours ago, mstimc said:

In my recovery journey, I've found I'm much better dealing with the reality of a situation as opposed to the possibilities.  My anticipatory anxiety is always worse than reality.  

 

Most definitely! It's the overthinking beforehand that does me in.

[mstimc]

Yeah, finding the balance between "being prepared" and overthinking is challenging!

 

[Cigale]

Hello @sunnysideup69! Just want to say hello and let you know I have been thinking about you and how hopeful and well, sunny, you have been for me. Thank you for sharing your warmth and support. Bisous! Cigale

[sunnysideup69]

1 hour ago, Cigale said:

Hello @sunnysideup69! Just want to say hello and let you know I have been thinking about you and how hopeful and well, sunny, you have been for me. Thank you for sharing your warmth and support. Bisous! Cigale

 

You are welcome! And what a lovely thing to say! Thank you. You are also very uplifting yourself, you know.

Hope you are okay? I'm plodding on, a little wavey yesterday but better today.The sun has been out here in London and that always helps my mood.

[Cigale]

Good morning @sunnysideup69! I just noticed that you are doing yin yoga. What is it like and how does it help? I have been doing basic hatha yoga forever, and started doing pranayama yoga (all about the breath), but haven’t encountered yin yoga. Hugs to you!

[sunnysideup69]

Bit more symptomatic since Saturday/ Sunday. I'll call it a 'wavelet' because it's not awful. Self produced, I reckon, by getting stressed out about a 'black mole' I found on my skin two weekends ago (it turned out to be a blood blister and dropped off.)

Also, getting a bit bored of my own company in lockdown. I'm craving human face to face contact, but am restricting that at the moment because I'm visiting my elderly parents at the end of June - first visit since bereavements. Don't want to contract anything and take it home. This world situation/ family bereavements have produced some health anxiety, for sure, and I need to get on top of that.

 

All in all, though, I'm surprised that I've done this well through this three month period of isolation and post bereavement - going to give myself credit where it's due. There have been plenty of ups and downs but healing is definitely still happening and it's only two and a half months since my siblings died.

I had a few windows in May and about five windowy days at the beginning of this month. Healing is happening.

[Giulietta]

Hello Sunny!

 

7 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I'll call it a 'wavelet' because it's not awful

 

I think you have coined a new term. It is easy to catastrophize/create anxiety where there is none. It is easier said than done. I am going through this now - we know it's in our heads - and tell ourselves this - but it just doesn't want to go away. It is an unwanted house guest.

 

7 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I'm craving human face to face contact, but am restricting that at the moment because I'm visiting my elderly parents at the end of June - first visit since bereavements. Don't want to contract anything and take it home. This world situation/ family bereavements have produced some health anxiety, for sure, and I need to get on top of that.

 

We all are. Zoom isn't a good substitute. I feel like I'm in 2001 A Space Odyssey with the man calling his 5 year old from the moon. Yeesh.  Your parents will be so happy to see you and you them I think. When we take the precautions we will be fine. Believe that.

 

I had to get lab work done yesterday I wasn't happy about it. I went in - all dolled up with my face mask, gloves, etc.  This situation is increasing anxiety - health, social, etc.  Some businesses that opened up in my state are what I call high risk - hair dressers, barbers, restaurants (social distancing included).

8 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I had a few windows in May and about five windowy days at the beginning of this month. Healing is happening.

 

This is encouraging - particularly in light of your recent losses.

 

Hugs,

G.

 

[Malbec37]

9 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

All in all, though, I'm surprised that I've done this well through this three month period of isolation and post bereavement - going to give myself credit where it's due. There have been plenty of ups and downs but healing is definitely still happening and it's only two and a half months since my siblings died.

I had a few windows in May and about five windowy days at the beginning of this month. Healing is happening.

 

Hey @sunnysideup69great to hear you talking like this and giving credit where credit is due! You are a very resilient person and so much has happened for you recently but you're still going and having some windows and that takes enormous courage...the kind of courage that is needed to become medication free which you, as well as I and many others, will achieve eventually 

 

It may take us some time but we can get there one day at a time and holding as long as necessary to let the brain heal

 

It's a mighty tough journey but it is really teaching us something I believe...patience, resilience, self love

 

It's amazing to see how much support you have on here but I know its because you put the time and effort into reading others stories of WD and supporting them through it, as you have with me, so you deserve to get a lot of love and support in return

 

Enjoy the time with your folks I'm sure they'll LOVE to see you 

[sunnysideup69]

Thank you @Malbec37, that's a lovely message! Very uplifting and encouraging. I smiled when I read it yesterday as I was having a bit of a gloom-fest. You're right, we WILL be medication free one day and will have gotten a lot better at coping with mood ups and downs because of this ordeal.

There really isn't any way through it apart from acceptance. Wishing you a good day ❤️ I'm guessing it might be rainy/stormy in Bristol at the moment. Certainly is here in London. The garden is getting an amazing watering without any effort from me   

[sunnysideup69]

https://medicatingnormal.com/watch/

 

Reminder to self; must watch.

[Cigale]

Hello there! I just wanted to stop by and check in with you. There’s always some sort of goodness on your thread. And then, voilà, I get to see your note to self. “Medicating Normal” looks really interesting though I am not sure I am ready to watch it. Would you be willing to share your impressIons of it some day? Thank you again for being so supportive. Hugs- Cigale 

[sunnysideup69]

On 6/18/2020 at 1:24 PM, Cigale said:

Hello there! I just wanted to stop by and check in with you. There’s always some sort of goodness on your thread. And then, voilà, I get to see your note to self. “Medicating Normal” looks really interesting though I am not sure I am ready to watch it. Would you be willing to share your impressIons of it some day? Thank you again for being so supportive. Hugs- Cigale 

 

Hello @Cigale, for sure, I'm watching it when it screens on July 11th - I will certainly share my impressions with you ❤️ Have a wonderful day ❤️ 

[sunnysideup69]

❤️ Update for week beginning Sunday 14th June 2020 ❤️

 

Well, I thought it was going to be a bad week. Last Sunday and Sunday were okay with some odd dips in mood around mid day, for no particular reason.

Monday and Wednesday were oddly low and flat. However, both days, mood improved from 6pm onwards. Evenings were good. Thunderstorms in the daytime seemed to improve my mood 🤔

Since Thursday, in a window.

 

Some things I've enjoyed this week; walking my friend's golden doodle, who is just the sweetest doggie; had a friend over for a distanced lunch on Thursday, was really good to see an actual person in the flesh; finally put together my IKEA table for the kitchen; bought and sent my dad some flowers for Father's Day; had a big clean and tidy of my flat; climbed out of my neighbour's window onto the roof for some sunbathing. Nice little solitary, private space up there.

 

Feeling optimistic about the future this week. Apart from those random days of brain blip. Feeling calmer. Less anxiety. (Anhedonia and fatigue seem to be the main offenders in this recovery process, at the moment.)

Sleep is improving. I do sometimes wake up too early, usually manage to get back to sleep. Not this morning though, I woke at 4am and just couldn't, so I got up and watched the English Heritage livestream of the sun rising at Stonehenge.

It's the new moon solar eclipse today- good time for making a wish. Mine is for continued healing for us all.

 

 

[Hanna72]

 Sunny, great read🤩 You sure are improving. So happy for you💖 

It will keep getting better.

 

[Cigale]

13 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

It's the new moon solar eclipse today- good time for making a wish. Mine is for continued healing for us all.

 

It gives me so much hope to hear you have had a good, solid week. And I love your wish for healing for us all. I will join you today in hoping for the same for all of us on this difficult journey.

[sunnysideup69]

18 hours ago, Cigale said:

 

It gives me so much hope to hear you have had a good, solid week. And I love your wish for healing for us all. I will join you today in hoping for the same for all of us on this difficult journey.

 

On 6/21/2020 at 12:50 PM, Hanna72 said:

 Sunny, great read🤩 You sure are improving. So happy for you💖 

It will keep getting better.

 

 

Thanks very much you guys  Still in that window today, so getting out and about and enjoying myself xxxxxx

[Cigale]

Good morning @sunnysideup69! This article on meditation made me think of you, especially the information on compassion meditation. I just want to thank you for doing this for all of us here through your kind actions and thoughtful posts.

[Erell]

On 6/22/2020 at 3:54 PM, sunnysideup69 said:

 

 

Thanks very much you guys  Still in that window today, so getting out and about and enjoying myself xxxxxx

 Oh yes, enjoy ! ❤️

So happy for you !

Even better : it will keep getting better !

[sunnysideup69]

Dropping by to catch up. Am on day seven of a window ❤️ Gotta give the good news, because it shows that we heal! It takes ages, but we do!

 

Bit of fatigue, bit of wonky sleep, but that's all. I think my system is settling. I'm not preoccupied with withdrawal symptoms. I also agreed to do a couple of things for work this week that would have caused me some big anxiety before.

 

Perhaps month ten after the switch is my lucky month.🤞

 

@Erell and @Cigale, thank you! xxx Cigale, that is a really interesting article. I would definitely be lost without daily meditation, that's for sure. I can really feel the difference if I slip and don't do it.

 

 

[Lynnardgirl]

1 hour ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Dropping by to catch up. Am on day seven of a window ❤️ Gotta give the good news, because it shows that we heal! It takes ages, but we do!

 

Bit of fatigue, bit of wonky sleep, but that's all. I think my system is settling. I'm not preoccupied with withdrawal symptoms. I also agreed to do a couple of things for work this week that would have caused me some big anxiety before.

 

Perhaps month ten after the switch is my lucky month.🤞

 

@Erell and @Cigale, thank you! xxx Cigale, that is a really interesting article. I would definitely be lost without daily meditation, that's for sure. I can really feel the difference if I slip and don't do it.

 

 

So happy for you @sunnysideup69 you must be on top of the world! You have been through a tough tough time! God bless you my friend 

[sunnysideup69]

9 hours ago, Lynnardgirl said:

So happy for you @sunnysideup69 you must be on top of the world! You have been through a tough tough time! God bless you my friend 

 

I have and I believe it's passing. Thank you. Strangely, this week my sleep has been a bit all over the place, but am not overly tired. Seem to be out of a rhythm....been falling asleep on sofa too early and waking too early....bedtime routine has gone a bit. 

 

Oddly, when I'm sleeping well, my mood seems to be worse...go figure ?! I guess it's all part of my circadian rhythm settling. Not fighting it or stressing, just going with the flow.

 

It's 4 46am right now and I woke too early...had a cortisol rush. Decided to get up anyway.I'm hosting an online teaching session today for 100 or so kids. I'm also going home this weekend to see elderly parents and I'm anxious re possible spread of 'that' infection....so I have a couple of niggling stresses. Think I'm more accepting of the fact that upcoming events affect my sleep and that's just how it is. It will right itself again. Must try to stay awake until at least 10pm, however.

 

Wishing us all a good day  One day closer to healing, as @Cocopuffz17 always says xxx

[Cigale]

I love your amazing update @sunnysideup69! You are healing! I hope you have a lovely visit with your parents this weekend. Take good care and keep those windows open. Hugs, Cigale