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Passionlifetime

Passionlifetime: Refused to live Medicated (Effexor) years on Antidepressents.

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Yogendra
41 minutes ago, Passionlifetime said:

Its getting bad now, Feeling flat......wat to do .........this is NOT life.

Dear Friend Passion,

 

If you don't mind can I visit you today. Don't get upset you will be alright soon.

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Katy398

Hi @Passionlifetime

This is tough and you’re right it is no life at the moment but it will get better in time maybe not immediately but in time it will get better. I believe we will feel we can achieve anything once we’ve  overcome this. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself as you would treat a nearest and dearest relative in this situation. I can identify with exactly how you are feeling and I’m sure so many people on this site can. When in the depth of a wave it feels nothing will change,  but it does change. You have overcome so much in your life, you really can overcome this. Accept support, you are in the right place to get help. Take advice, there is so much experience here. 

Hang on in there and always remember This too shall pass. 

Warm Regards K

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Passionlifetime
19 hours ago, Katy398 said:

Hi @Passionlifetime

This is tough and you’re right it is no life at the moment but it will get better in time maybe not immediately but in time it will get better. I believe we will feel we can achieve anything once we’ve  overcome this. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself as you would treat a nearest and dearest relative in this situation. I can identify with exactly how you are feeling and I’m sure so many people on this site can. When in the depth of a wave it feels nothing will change,  but it does change. You have overcome so much in your life, you really can overcome this. Accept support, you are in the right place to get help. Take advice, there is so much experience here. 

Hang on in there and always remember This too shall pass. 

Warm Regards K

Hi Katty 

I can't tell you in how much trouble I am. In front of my eyes my world is shattering slowly and I am not able to do anything about it .

If i don't have this illness i could have achieved so much. 

This shivering was not there now its becoming a part slowly

I don't know what mistake i did. 

I am waiting for happiness for so long .. the real happiness. 

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Katy398

Hi Passion

Please believe me that in time you will get better. The drugs have a big influence on how we think and feel. Try not to think about the past only that you can heal and have a better future. Right now focus on the here and now. Omega 3 and magnesium, Bathe in Epsom salts. I am no expert please ask the moderators about your dose and how to manage symptoms. Don’t give up you can do this Kx

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Passionlifetime
5 hours ago, Katy398 said:

Hi Passion

Please believe me that in time you will get better. The drugs have a big influence on how we think and feel. Try not to think about the past only that you can heal and have a better future. Right now focus on the here and now. Omega 3 and magnesium, Bathe in Epsom salts. I am no expert please ask the moderators about your dose and how to manage symptoms. Don’t give up you can do this Kx

Ok katty,

I will hold ,

You know why I update here because I feel relax by reading supportive words.

thank you , 

let me see how it goes

after today evening its little good , actually I went outside.

Thanks 

 

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Passionlifetime

after 5 days , today I feel little good from evening....I cant tell you how much lucky those people who can FEEL anything and happiness and joy specifically.

 

Today I went outside and meet yogendra bhai, he is such a nice person. 

 

I am feeling little more clear head today.

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Katy398

Hi Passion,

I’m so pleased you got to meet up with Yogendra. You are both so lucky to be able to meet up face to face. This kind of help is rare and  could be so very supportive for both of you. 

Getting outside in nature can be really therapeutic. Just 15 mins lying on the ground outside could help. Take each day as it comes, really envrace to good moments, try not to be scared of the bad days, welcome them as a time that healing is taking place. I totally understand that this is easier  said than done but it is really worth trying time and time again. 

I’m sure you’ll get through this no matter how long. 

Take care Kx

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Passionlifetime

Today after taking a bath in morning , suddenly without any stimulus I feel too much anxious and heavy headed and kind of stress feeling which normally have when someone is going with lot of stress, but my physical symtoms playing up and down with me too much. 

whole body shivering too much , it was never there but its a bad effect of fast taper I think , I dont know how much time it will take to settle down this.

anxiety without any reason.

dry mouth and hands 

 

thanks katy for supportive words , Indeed this is very tough time for me I need to get out from this mess soon. I am running out of time.

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Katy398

Hi Passionlifetime 

It’s ok, it’s horrible but it’s normal, very normal. Try not to think about running out of time. Unfortunately, you and I and everyone else on this site have to come to terms with the fact that we have very little control of how long it will take. Be kind to yourself in between the good and bad days. This bad time will pass. Nurture yourself during it, lots of rest, warm epsom salt baths, healthy food, kind words. It all helps,  when the bad days come. You could read  the good days from you post again to remind yourself  that they do exist. It’s ok, this too shall pass, don’t resist it  let it happen so it can move on. 

Take care Kx

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Passionlifetime

Can anyone tell me that "unable to make decisions" is the symptom of depression?

Will it get a bit less by increasing the dose?

 

I can t decide for big things for my career, too many options and I am afraid to choose wrong one?

pls help.

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Yogendra
5 hours ago, Passionlifetime said:

Can anyone tell me that "unable to make decisions" is the symptom of depression?

Will it get a bit less by increasing the dose?

 

I can t decide for big things for my career, too many options and I am afraid to choose wrong one?

pls help.

 

Not a direct one but yes when one is depressed one must not trust his/her own feelings. Hence one must avoid taking any drastic steps or big decisions. It happens I know. I have also been through all this. These feelings will subside as the depression clouds lift from one's mind. 

 

Health is of the utmost priority as of now. Don't think so much. Please try not to fight and go with the flow. This shall too pass and things will be alright shortly. You will come out stronger.

 

If you feel very very uncomfortable and symptoms are unbearable then only I would advise you to increase the dose slightly and observe. Otherwise try to stay on this dose and observe for few more days as your feelings have not been consistent for past few days ..... You did have good times in between too. You may be healing. Don't fight !! More we fight the stronger the monster becomes .... Just surrender and see ... This is what I do.

 

I will phone you today and will meet you on weekend. Don't worry !!

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Katy398

Absolutely,

I can’t decide which tea to drink in the morning!!!

Do you really have to make big decisions right now, can that wait a few months or so until you feel better. 

I have had to remove all responsibilities from my work/ home/ life because of the stress they were causing. If you can just see this time as recuperation and convalescence then that would be perfect. If you have to work for financial reasons or to keep you occupied,  I’d find a low key job you can manage with ease. Your body is working extremely hard, both day and night to heal, probably harder than it’s ever worked before. Making huge life changing decisions is tough enough for anyone  and  timing may not be right for someone  already working very hard to get through withdrawal. Be kind to yourself and nurture yourself through this as much as you can. 

Take care Kx

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Passionlifetime
1 hour ago, Katy398 said:

Absolutely,

I can’t decide which tea to drink in the morning!!!

Do you really have to make big decisions right now, can that wait a few months or so until you feel better. 

I have had to remove all responsibilities from my work/ home/ life because of the stress they were causing. If you can just see this time as recuperation and convalescence then that would be perfect. If you have to work for financial reasons or to keep you occupied,  I’d find a low key job you can manage with ease. Your body is working extremely hard, both day and night to heal, probably harder than it’s ever worked before. Making huge life changing decisions is tough enough for anyone  and  timing may not be right for someone  already working very hard to get through withdrawal. Be kind to yourself and nurture yourself through this as much as you can. 

Take care Kx

Hi Katty,

My anxiety increases so much , as If I have to start working else, who will give me a job, if it will be a long break and , these thoughts increases my anxiety.with all the options available I am not able to decide which path to go for and this indecisiveness out of confusion that I may choose wrong path, creates so much anxiety, how can I get cured like this

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Passionlifetime

I am so confused. 

Can anyone tell me that this confusion and not getting satisfaction for my decision is depression or my habit. 

I am not able to decide and process information fully.

I don't know what is happening. 

 

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Passionlifetime

today its been one month after reinstatement and now I feel much better not fully ok but still much better.

fatigue, indecision and mood all improved almost 70%.

 

 

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Erell

Hi Passionlifetime,

 

That's very good news !

The best you can do now : holding on your dose for several months, in order To let your CNS stabilise, before making any change.

 

You seem To be on the good path !

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Passionlifetime
7 minutes ago, Erell said:

Hi Passionlifetime,

 

That's very good news !

The best you can do now : holding on your dose for several months, in order To let your CNS stabilise, before making any change.

 

You seem To be on the good path !

I am going for psychologist next week , they may recommend me to some therapy, I think I should take that. 

It might be the case that doc will increase my dose to 225mg a day.

its been too long I am sitting at home. every moment of wait is too much now.

how are you by the way?

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Passionlifetime

The biggest thing that I am doing now from my mind is ACCEPTANCE  of whatever happened and trying to forget and start again with passion lifetime.

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Erell

It would be a real pity To increase your dose now that your brain is stabilising and that you're feeling much better : it could cancel all your progress.

Could you explain To your doctor how much better you Feel and your need To stay on the same dose now ?

 

I know you're tired of waiting for feeling good, but having so much improvements in only one month is huge! I don't think a dose change would help you now.

 

Give it some thought. 

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Passionlifetime

 

6 minutes ago, Erell said:

Give it some thought. 

my doc used to say that my optimum dose is 225mg and I should take that only .i resisted that all those years.

but now I want to be alright anyhow.i dont care having meds or not.I will go by what my doc suggest.

will update here.

though one thing happened badly is that I have lost my sexual desires 90% and sensations also. but I think it will get better over time. worrying doesnt helping me. I am just having patience now and letting it happen 

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Sassenach

Hi PL

 

6 hours ago, Passionlifetime said:

my doc used to say that my optimum dose is 225mg

Your doctor is talking the usual rubbish they trot out because they don't know any better.

Erell is correct you are doing better, your CNS is beginning to settle ie. you are healing, slowly as always.

how-to-talk-to-a-doctor-about-tapering-and-withdrawal-what-to-expect/?do=findComment&comment=28811

If you make a change now you will undo the good work you have put in so far.

6 hours ago, Passionlifetime said:

though one thing happened badly is that I have lost my sexual desires 90% and sensations also

Perfectly normal in W/D but it will get worse if you take a higher dose.

It will get better but you have to practice patience and stick to your present dose.

 

Sassenach

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Passionlifetime
1 hour ago, Sassenach said:

Erell is correct you are doing better, your CNS is beginning to settle ie. you are healing, slowly as always.

Hi 

Please explain, 

when I was on 75mg  I was having very bad symptoms.

here all suggested me to do a minor updose upto o100mg, i tried it for few days but it didnt work

then doc updose it to 150mg and after almost a month its get much better

why more updose will not work, please explain, 

I really dont want to suffer anymore. How can I reject doc advice now , i need some strong rebuttal.

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Katy398

Hi Passionlifetime 

Look I know it’s really hard to go against Doctors advice. Collectively the moderators here have so much more experience than your doctor or any doctor could possibly have. He may have only a tiny bit of experience with withdrawal because most doctors reinstate very early on because they confuse withdrawal with original symptoms re-emerging.  It’s a tough decision to make. You may need to decide if you are going to follow moderator’s advice.  They can support you in your final goal as you say you ‘Refuse to live medicated’. You can use your doctor merely to write out the prescriptions, or  you can follow your doctors advice who may not feel your goal is achievable. This is a challenging journey either way and we are all ‘suffering’ on it to a greater or lesser degree. It’s so tough I know because I had to make the very same decision that you are making right now. Ultimately for me I really want to see if the drug free me is an ok person that I can grow to love rather than loathe.  My suffering continues and I try daily to see it as my journey to my end goal like you I want to live med free. Best wishes with this one it’s a tough decision don’t forget you do have a community here to help you through the tough times.

take care Kx

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sunnysideup69
On 11/28/2019 at 7:45 PM, Passionlifetime said:

Hi 

Please explain, 

when I was on 75mg  I was having very bad symptoms.

here all suggested me to do a minor updose upto o100mg, i tried it for few days but it didnt work

then doc updose it to 150mg and after almost a month its get much better

why more updose will not work, please explain, 

I really dont want to suffer anymore. How can I reject doc advice now , i need some strong rebuttal.

 

As you increase dosage, you also run the risk of more side effects, for a start.

You've been taking 150mg for a month and feel much better, if I am correct? That's great! So why would you increase more? If it takes about 12 weeks to really let a dose establish itself in the body (which a nurse told me this past couple of days, although this is probably also guesswork) then you aren't feeling the full effect yet on 150mg. 

 

I saw a psychiatrist privately this summer and swapped drugs, from Citalopram to Venlafaxine (effexor)- I did a straight switch, I asked the psych about dosage and whether straight switching would cause problems. He outright admitted he had no idea and that it was trial and error. At least he was honest. So, for anyone to tell you 'this is your dosage', then they are blatantly talking out of their a**.

 

Seriously, I would give it longer and stay at your current dose. You might not care about tapering right now, but when you feel better, it might become your aim again....and it takes less time to taper from a lower dose. Also, you should always treat ANYTHING with as minimal a dose as possible. Just treat until you get a good effect, rather than smother.

Ultimately, it's up to you, but personally I have learned the hard way that 'more' is sometimes detrimental. (see drug signature.)

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Passionlifetime
9 hours ago, Katy398 said:

Hi Passionlifetime 

Look I know it’s really hard to go against Doctors advice. Collectively the moderators here have so much more experience than your doctor or any doctor could possibly have. He may have only a tiny bit of experience with withdrawal because most doctors reinstate very early on because they confuse withdrawal with original symptoms re-emerging.  It’s a tough decision to make. You may need to decide if you are going to follow moderator’s advice.  They can support you in your final goal as you say you ‘Refuse to live medicated’. You can use your doctor merely to write out the prescriptions, or  you can follow your doctors advice who may not feel your goal is achievable. This is a challenging journey either way and we are all ‘suffering’ on it to a greater or lesser degree. It’s so tough I know because I had to make the very same decision that you are making right now. Ultimately for me I really want to see if the drug free me is an ok person that I can grow to love rather than loathe.  My suffering continues and I try daily to see it as my journey to my end goal like you I want to live med free. Best wishes with this one it’s a tough decision don’t forget you do have a community here to help you through the tough times.

take care Kx

 

7 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

 

As you increase dosage, you also run the risk of more side effects, for a start.

You've been taking 150mg for a month and feel much better, if I am correct? That's great! So why would you increase more? If it takes about 12 weeks to really let a dose establish itself in the body (which a nurse told me this past couple of days, although this is probably also guesswork) then you aren't feeling the full effect yet on 150mg. 

 

I saw a psychiatrist privately this summer and swapped drugs, from Citalopram to Venlafaxine (effexor)- I did a straight switch, I asked the psych about dosage and whether straight switching would cause problems. He outright admitted he had no idea and that it was trial and error. At least he was honest. So, for anyone to tell you 'this is your dosage', then they are blatantly talking out of their a**.

 

Seriously, I would give it longer and stay at your current dose. You might not care about tapering right now, but when you feel better, it might become your aim again....and it takes less time to taper from a lower dose. Also, you should always treat ANYTHING with as minimal a dose as possible. Just treat until you get a good effect, rather than smother.

Ultimately, it's up to you, but personally I have learned the hard way that 'more' is sometimes detrimental. (see drug signature.)

Hi guys,

Today is hell, day before yesterday I slept late , watching some program on youtube.today its too much bad , it seems now that a very small stimulus change affects so much my brain, that I feel it so much. the ups and dows are very frequest like after every 3 days i feel up then for 2 days i feel down. 

i sleep last full night and today full day , wake up just now at 8pm, no interest in doing anything. head was so foggy, cant think clearly. I am waiting patiently to make a decision for career and go out but these disease and meds put me on my toes.

the fight is very very tough, most people think that I am just lazy they say just try to go out . you guys can understand i know. I dont want to live my live on my bed forever.i may develop other diseases like this.

as for now I cant decide for meds either. because I dont understand what is right.i am just trusting Allah for this.this mental psychological physical torture is too much. I must have made some big mistake in my life thats why I am suffering.

I saw some programming yesterday and it give me so much fear that I need to learn those things again and thats hard for me. but I am not able to accept some other low paying jobs after doing so much efforts and THIS is the prime time for all to be paid. 

please pray for me. that God will forgive me.

 

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Passionlifetime
9 hours ago, Katy398 said:

They can support you in your final goal as you say you ‘Refuse to live medicated’.

when I made the account here I had the courage to do that. now I want to be stable as I was with or without meds I dont care. 

I know i sound weak by surrendering but believe me I cant take it anymore.this torture is way too much.

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Cocopuffz17
2 hours ago, Passionlifetime said:

when I made the account here I had the courage to do that. now I want to be stable as I was with or without meds I dont care. 

I know i sound weak by surrendering but believe me I cant take it anymore.this torture is way too much.


It is not weakness. This is the hardest thing to go through in ones life. Get stable, feel better, re-adjust and then you can resume your taper. Getting off of medication is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. You got this!

 

Each day that passes is one day closer to being healed! 

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sunnysideup69

You don't sound weak at all, it is such a struggle to stabilise once dysregulated. Hang on in there. I'll send good wishes and prayers your way.

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Passionlifetime

I visited doc today and he increased my dose to 225mg. and said that it will take around 2 weeks for effects to appear and in one month i become very much normal.

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Altostrata

Rhiannon said it best:

 

On 11/1/2019 at 9:44 AM, Rhiannon said:

If you decide to stick with the path, 112.5 a day sounds fine. Just stay on that dose now, as MMT says, the same dose at the same time every day. 

 

Your psychiatrist is going to agree with you that you can't come off drugs and is going to give you more. Do whatever you need to, I guess. I don't think more/different drugs is really going to help you at this point, but most people find that hard to believe and end up going down that path at least for a while. It won't get you off the drugs, and generally our function just tends to deteriorate overall the more years and the more drugs. Nobody really gets more functional while still taking the drugs as far as I can tell. 

 

However, withdrawal suffering is incredible. I really do understand the need and urge to do something that feels like it might help. Good luck to you.

 

If you find yourself back to wanting to try to get off meds at some point, DON'T DO A FAST TAPER ON YOUR OWN. Take the advice here and do the 10% taper.

 

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Passionlifetime
On 12/1/2019 at 1:21 AM, sunnysideup69 said:

You don't sound weak at all, it is such a struggle to stabilise once dysregulated. Hang on in there. I'll send good wishes and prayers your way.

Thank you

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sunnysideup69
9 hours ago, Passionlifetime said:

Thank you

You're welcome 😊 And good luck. I totally understand that you feel you need to DO something. I also took that route initially, I think lots of us have. If you feel worse, though, please remember you can stop.

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sunnysideup69
10 hours ago, Passionlifetime said:

Thank you

You're welcome 😊 And good luck. I totally understand that you feel you need to DO something. I also took that route initially, I think lots of us have. If you feel worse, though, please reconsider.

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Passionlifetime

i am feeling a bit relax in my head also the pain reduces and feels like brain come to little relax state within 2 days only . i dont know it might be placebo but after all, i am feeling a bit more good.

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