Momiki: tapering off paroxetine. Muscle stiffness is no fun.

[Momiki]

2021-10-18: 1.40 mg (35 ml)

2021-11-01: 1.36 mg (34 ml)

2022-02-04: 1.32 mg (33 ml)

 

I was going on a super-slow pace after the problems last fall, which went quite alright. Problems in the muscle department lessened somewhat recently. I was thinking about making another drop, waiting for it to not interfere with a planned outing. Unfortunately, I contracted covid-19. The infection itself seemed limited to an annoying cold, with mostly blocked breathing making me feel crappy. But nasal spray helped in that department. I was able to work from home without much problems. About 10 days after I experienced the first covid symptoms, though, I started experiencing withdrawal symptoms. The first things I noticed was an increased response to normal anxiety (on Thursday: traffic situation that most people will probably have found stressful), and waking up all sweaty at night. The two days after that were followed by feeling stuck in life and a general dread and anxiety about how I'm going to be able to survive in the future, picturing a situation where my parents would have passed away and I would have no one to fall back on (My circle of friends has never been big and it's been thinning over the past 2 years. I have siblings, though).

Saturday evening my heart rate was about 15 to 20 beats higher per minute than normal and it felt like panic wasn't far away. I had no problems falling asleep, but I woke up quite a lot during the night and didn't feel very rested. On Sunday I had an outing I didn't want to cancel, even though I wasn't feeling well. My bowels joined the party, producing some foul-smelling stool. Over the course of the day I started feeling somewhat better. Appetite was still crappy, though, I had trouble finishing a small meal in the evening. This week I mostly remember nausea, lack of appetite (both mostly in the morning) and feeling emotionally unstable. I skipped 2 video meetings on Monday morning because I had cried. By today, Wednesday, my heart rate has returned to normal. Appetite in the evening is back to normal, but still slight nausea in the morning and emotional instability (including a lingering level of general stuckness and future-anxiety) all day (though more so in the morning).

 

I hadn't experienced elevated heart rate as a withdrawal symptom before, but most of the other symptoms I've had at one point or another. I hope things will settle again soon. Withdrawal in itself sucks, but it being because of something out of my control rather than me lowering my dose gives it an extra punch.

 

To end with positivity: hurray for spring! The weather has been awesome these past couple of days.

[Sebas]

I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't covid itself but the nosespray that you probably used over a couple of days that triggered the wave...

[Mamgu]

Hi Momiki - sorry to read about your set back, I hope it's settled.  How are you feeling now?

 

I reduced my dose today and then a few hours later felt unwell so I took a covid test - it's positive.  My son, who is 2 days ahead of me with covid, suggested I use the nasal spray that helped him but I declined as years back the same medication gave me nose bleeds.  Maybe that was a good move, will be interesting to see if my experience is similar to yours.  Spring has definitely sprung now, the longer days and warm sunshine will help get you through this 🙂

xx

Edited July 19, 2022 by Shep
edited with member's new username

[Momiki]

Oh no! That's unfortunate, Mamgu. I hope the infection will be mild and won't lead to additional withdrawal symptoms.

 

I'm feeling okay-ish at the moment. About a week ago I realized I had reached WD-normal, so that's good. Took quite some time, about 6 weeks. Muscle pain/tension persists, and I've started suspecting it worsens during the anticonception stop week. The internet told me that joint and muscle pain can occur during normal menstruation and menopause as well, so it's not a weird pattern (though in WD nothing is weird :P).

 

I had originally planned to resume tapering after my holiday in June. That got pushed to July, though, so I'll remain at the same dose a bit longer. Last drop was in February, so I'll have had a pause of about half a year. Hopefully the pause will have done my body good.

 

[Mamgu]

I'm convinced taking the occasionally pause is a good thing, hopefully you'll be able to really enjoy your holiday 🙂

[Momiki]

2022-02-04: 1.32 mg (33 ml)

2022-07-21: 1.28 mg (32 ml)

 

Tapering has been resumed, after holding for almost 6 months. I didn't have any physical WD symptoms during the end of that time, but my brain was still working slower than usual. My response to stress was also unusual. The first evening during my holiday abroad my body was shaking, took two? hours for it to pass. I'm familiar with TRE (trauma-releasing exercises), so I knew shaking can be a response to stress and I wasn't freaked out. Still found it upsetting, though. Luckily it didn't occur again after that first evening. My Fitbit showed a big increase in resting heart rate over that one week holiday. I had a really nice time, though. Lots of outdoor activities, beautiful surroundings and great weather!

 

I made a small reduction, just 3%, but still got more WD symptoms than I expected. There's fatigue and increase in hair loss, the rest are mostly mental: feeling emotionally unstable, brain fog, trouble making decisions. I'm concerned about the upcoming stretch of tapering. I was planning a 1 ml decrease every 4 to 6 weeks, which would get me to 1 mg (25 ml) in 7 more steps. That's 28 to 42 weeks, so about 7 to 10 months. Writing this, I find myself expecting that I won't be able to make that many drops and that I'll be brain fogged and unstable until reaching the breaking point (which might not be at 1 mg, what if for me it's at 0.5?). I hope that won't be the case...  

 

 

 

[Sebas]

Hi 🖐️!

 

Very likely if not certain that this is due to covid (march) upsetting CNS during WD. Hair loss is a well known covid symptom, my girlfriend has experienced this too (see google). Anyway it will pass.

 

Just hold some longer or you could consider a tiny updose if to 1.29 mg. Are you using liquid?

 

You're doing great and have come so far. Be proud, this will pass.

Don't look forward to the road you have to go, look back to what you've already achieved.

 

Bye,

Sebas

 

 

[Momiki]

Thanks for the kind words.

 

Yes, I'm using liquid. I can't updose to 1.29 at the moment, the smallest increment on my micropipette is 1 ml. I ordered one with a smaller increment last week, but it hasn't arrived yet. I'm going to sit this reduction out, but might use it for more sliding reductions in the future.

[PerAsperaAdAstra]

Hi @Momiki! You have come far! Really a low dosage. 

 

I wonder how you will progress when going for the lower dosages. And may I hope that it won't play out with the breaking point as you perhaps see it now. You could always take it a little easier if that would make your life a bit "easier". 

 

Keep it up this good work!

[Sebas]

Are you aware that liquid suspension is/will be out of production? https://www.madinamerica.com/2022/08/discontinuation-antidepressant-affect-tapering-patients-say-experts/

 

I would indeed hold. I've had covid/vaccin related WD issues myself. 

 

Groetjes Sebas

[Momiki]

On 8/21/2022 at 12:25 PM, Sebas said:

Are you aware that liquid suspension is/will be out of production? https://www.madinamerica.com/2022/08/discontinuation-antidepressant-affect-tapering-patients-say-experts/

 

I would indeed hold. I've had covid/vaccin related WD issues myself. 

 

Groetjes Sebas

 

Ai, that's not something you'd want to have added to the withdrawal journey. Thanks for the heads up. Fortunately I won't be affected by it, I was switched to citalopram when I was at 10 mg.

[Momiki]

On 8/21/2022 at 9:29 AM, PerAsperaAdAstra said:

Hi @Momiki! You have come far! Really a low dosage. 

 

I wonder how you will progress when going for the lower dosages. And may I hope that it won't play out with the breaking point as you perhaps see it now. You could always take it a little easier if that would make your life a bit "easier". 

 

Keep it up this good work!

 

Thanks for the encouragement.

 

I felt like I might have reached a different breaking point, one of giving up the tapering journey. I started to wonder whether I still think it's worth the effort. But the alternative of going back to 5 mg (if that's the lowest option in pill form) and taking that the rest of my life doesn't seem attractive either. So 'doorploeteren' it is. You and Sebas pointing out that I've come pretty far has helped put things in perspective, as well as the realization that a big part of my demotivation is related to worrying: worry that I'll reach the point of not being able to continue work, and that I won't be able to join a kayaking group next spring (you have to follow an introductory course before you can join the activities, which they only have once a year). My social circle has become quite small, which doesn't help in the happiness department, so I've put quite some hope in that venture.

 

Good news, though, I seem to be doing a bit better. Last week was unpleasant, with 4 days of migraine-like problems, followed by 2 days of painful muscles (tightness in back, shoulders and neck; short sharp pain from lower back to feet, mostly on the left side). The latter 2 days is probably related to the anticonception stop week. I've doubled my dose of fish oil somewhere last week (I thought I had a high dose, but found out I was at about half of what this forum recommends), started taking vitamin D again as I'm outside less often (I stopped at the beginning of summer), and stopped eating chocolate (though I did cheat with white chocolate yesterday, but that should be fine, as it doesn't contain cacao). I also realized I need to distract myself more, with things that leave a feeling of achievement, rather than watching TV shows. I've settled on botanical illustration, as well as putting renewed effort in a crochet project I had laying around. I found an interesting website regarding the botanical illustration, which also talked about nature journaling. Seemed really cool! Now I'm just hoping that my perfectionism regarding drawing can lay low for long enough. 😛

 

 

[Momiki]

Since last week things got better, then 4 days ago a wave started, and today suddenly got a lot stronger. First time that I'm clearly experiencing a windows and waves pattern. I ate a white chocolate bar yesterday, different brand than last time. Perhaps white chocolate is triggering as well? @Sebas, I found an earlier post from you in my topic (July 14th 2021) where you warn me about white chocolate toppings. Do you know what aspect of it is triggering? I thought it would be okay as it doesn't contain theobromine/caffeine.

[Sebas]

@Momiki chocolate in general (black and white) contains ingredients that influence serotonine levels, such as dopamine, caffein, fenylethylamine, endorfine, lecithine, tryptophane and polyphenols (anti-inflammatory). No wonder we appreciate it so much.

 

For this exact reason they interfere with our drugrelated serotonine levels and taper proces.

 

Be extra careful with products containing tryptophane (as well as some other amino acid supplements). Search Google for 'serotonine syndrom'.

 

Bye Sebas

[Momiki]

2022-10-03: 1.24 mg (31 ml)

2022-11-26: 1.2 mg (30 ml)

 

It's been a while since I updated. Unfortunately, I don't remember the details from last autumn that well anymore. The September wave passed, and I dropped by 1 ml again on October 3rd. This drop wasn't nearly as intense as the one in July.  Symptoms included hair loss, slight nausea, loss of appetite, waking up at 3 am feeling stressed, trouble falling back asleep, and brain fog, if I remember correctly. I also remember muscles in my lower abdomen becoming rigid at those 3 am awakenings. Not painful, but weird. I found some trigger points there, which in hindsight I wish I treated better. Lower abdominal trigger points are pretty tender and they gave me rather unpleasant pain when massaging.

 

At the end of November I felt stable enough to make another small drop. I remember stronger emotional responses next to the usual symptoms. Starting mid December my stress levels rose due to all the steps that come with moving to a new place, and some symptoms rose in accordance. I found the brain fog to be the most troublesome one, as it really hindered my problem-solving ability at work. The move didn't go smoothly, I overexerted my lower abdominal muscles, which led to a lot of pain. I recognized the pain pattern from the trigger points I found several weeks prior, so I was pretty sure the problem was muscular in nature. At some points I worried, though, what if it was an acute appendicitis? The pain was really severe. It was Sunday night, my family wasn't nearby, I didn't know anyone in this new place, and I didn't want to move at all, seen as movement worsened the pain. It also was a mental blow, making me feel worth less because I'm single and I don't have many friends left. After a while, though, I noticed that the pain went away completely if I lay still long enough. That seemed to match an injured muscle much better than an appendicitis, which took away the worry. I spent a full week almost exclusively laying down and had the not-so-pleasure of getting GI-tract problems due to the maximum allowed dosages of NSAID's and paracetamol I was taking (I didn't have a stomach protector, and was afraid of the additional side effects an additional pill might bring). After a week and a half I was able to work a half day from home, and after two weeks I went back to working full time. The muscles are slowly healing, and don't bother me that much as long as I don't put too much strain on them. One time I lifted a crate of glassware, which in itself went fine, but gave a lot of pain afterwards. Lesson learned.

 

I wasn't feeling too cheerful for the past few weeks, which I assume are a combination of withdrawal, normal stress due to the move, and being confronted with my feelings of insecurity around being single and the fear of not being able to take care of myself, as well as a fear of how I'm going to manage once my parents pass away. However, as time passes I'm starting to feel better. I was actually feeling quite happy with 2 achievements at work, so it feels like a wave is passing. Right now, I'm planning a very long hold, though. A year, perhaps even two? I'd like to get my life in order and grow my social circle (which I don't find easy, due to my introverted nature). Previously I hoped putting my life on hold for a bit would allow me to get through the final tapering stretch, but it's taking much longer than I anticipated. I would also really like the brain fog to clear up and not worry about not being able to show my full potential in case of a new job (There might be an opportunity in the near future, though I haven't decided if I'll take it yet). So, here's hoping for some good healing during the break, and an easier time once I resume tapering again.

[Momiki]

It seems that the abdominal strain might not have been only due to overexertion. Yesterday I pulled a neck muscle, out of the blue. I was having dinner with colleagues, so I can't explain it by heavy exercise. I've pulled neck muscles before, but they always led straight to the muscle being stiff and my range of motion being limited. This time it started out with sharp pains, which reminded my of the pain in my abdominal muscles a few weeks ago. They weren't as painful, luckily. I probably didn't have proper posture during the evening, and I did massage and have been massaging my shoulders for a few days. Those were stiff and painful, likely due to me unconsciously tightening them (first in an attempt to not feel pain, later because I was feeling unconfortable in a store, for example). But still, it feels like a very overexaggerated response of my body.

[Mamgu]

Hi Momiki - do you take a magnesium supplement?  I wonder if that would help with the muscular issues?  I've found a spray works wonders as it by-passes the gut so no nasty tummy upsets.

 

Great to hear you're not feeling so fearful 😊. Moving house is a massive upheaval for anyone let alone someone going through this horrible process. Sounds like the long hold is a good idea, give yourself some time to settle and experience some ease for a while. x

[Fifree]

Hi Momiki. I just wanted to stop by and say hello. I’ve read your thread and it’s really quite inspiring. Towards the beginning you said you were worried that you ‘didn’t really belong here’ but it’s a huge relief for a newbie like me to read a story that is going relatively well. There are many stories on here of people in dreadful distress and I’ve found myself wondering if there’s anyone whose taper is straightforward. I’ve been terrified! 
 

So thank you for posting about your progress. It’s helped me a lot. 
 

Sorry to hear about your tight muscles. I hope it settles down soon and the rest of your taper goes smoothly. 

[Momiki]

Hi Fiftree, good to hear you've found my posts helpful. (Un)fortunately, I no longer have the feeling I don't belong here, haha. But no need to be terrified. Don't rush the taper, hold for longer periods if you feel you need to and you should be okay.

 

Mamgu, I've taken magnesium in the past, but never experienced a clear benefit. But perhaps it would be beneficial now that my stress levels are higher. I have both supplements and a spray, and also in the form of bath salts. I don't seem to get a habit going with the bath salts and the supplements. I'm always wondering whether I'm taking the supplements at the right time, with interactions with calcium and such (they inhibit each others uptake). The spray doesn't have that, and I can probably get over the feeling of the sticky residue. I sprayed some this morning and forgot about that bit. Where do you usually spray it? I tend to go for the back of my neck, as that's where my muscles are often crampy. That part is currently occupied by diclofenac gel, so this morning I sprayed it on the front of my neck.

 

 

More stress coming up (well, actually already here). I'll be admitted in the hospital for one day next week for minor surgery, under full anesthesia. Not looking forward to it.

[Sebas]

I've had really bad interactions with diclofenac. So be careful. Its quite a tricky NSAID and NSAID's and ssri don't combine well together. That goes for gel too.

 

 

[Mamgu]

On 2/9/2023 at 6:48 PM, Momiki said:

Mamgu, I've taken magnesium in the past, but never experienced a clear benefit. But perhaps it would be beneficial now that my stress levels are higher. I have both supplements and a spray, and also in the form of bath salts. I don't seem to get a habit going with the bath salts and the supplements. I'm always wondering whether I'm taking the supplements at the right time, with interactions with calcium and such (they inhibit each others uptake). The spray doesn't have that, and I can probably get over the feeling of the sticky residue. I sprayed some this morning and forgot about that bit. Where do you usually spray it? I tend to go for the back of my neck, as that's where my muscles are often crampy. That part is currently occupied by diclofenac gel, so this morning I sprayed it on the front of my neck.

 

 

More stress coming up (well, actually already here). I'll be admitted in the hospital for one day next week for minor surgery, under full anesthesia. Not looking forward to it.

 

I spray all over after a shower, I think the recommendation is 10 sprays or so - no advice where on the body though, so I spray randomly 😂.  I know what you mean about the sticky residue, it's not great but I can cope with it.    I fancy trying one of those lavender microwave pillows, I wonder if that would help with you? 

 

Hope the surgery went well and didn't trigger any more WD symptoms for you 

xx

[Momiki]

Ha, exactly one month ago since my previous post.

 

The surgery went well. I was nervous about the full anesthesia (mostly the possibility of throwing up afterwards), the IV needle and stress leading to exacerbated muscle pain. The anesthesia went fine, no adverse response, the needle was put in my elbow crease rather than my hand (which was annoying, but at least there's more fat tissue there) and no muscles became rigid. I also experienced little post-op pain. The tissue that was removed and tested turned out to be benign, so no further treatment necessary! Unfortunately, though, the stomach protector they prescribed me for a 3-day course of painkillers was omeprazole. I was halfway through that course when I went online to check if it had interactions with citalopram, and was surprised to find it has major interactions:

 

Quote

Talk to your doctor before using citalopram together with omeprazole. Combining these medications may increase the blood levels of citalopram and increase the risk of certain side effects, including an irregular heart rhythm that may be serious or life-threatening. Your doctor may be able to prescribe alternatives that do not interact, or you may need a dose adjustment or more frequent monitoring by your doctor to safely use both medications. You should seek immediate medical attention if you develop sudden dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, shortness of breath, or fast or pounding heartbeats during treatment with these medications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

Quote

omeprazole will increase the level or effect of citalopram by affecting hepatic enzyme CYP2C19 metabolism. Use Caution/Monitor. Citalopram 20 mg/day is the maximum recommended dose for patients taking CYP2C19 inhibitors because of the risk of QT prolongation.

 

 

I had been very clear each time I talked to a doctor about which medications I'm taking that I'm withdrawing from citalopram and that this gives me a lot of withdrawal symptoms, so I'm very annoyed (yet not surprised, I don't have much faith in medical practitioners anymore) they prescribed this. I was mostly worried about the anesthetics, I forgot about checking a stomach protector beforehand. I finished the 3-day course anyway, with the very recent memory on the havoc NSAID's wreck on your digestive system, hoping 3 days was short enough that it wouldn't disrupt my nervous system. Unfortunately, I do have ramped up withdrawal symptoms. They are mostly limited to fatigue, occasional lightheadedness, brain fog and other "trouble with thinking" symptoms (I regularly can't find a word when speaking). I'm quickly overstimulated and I need a lot of time to recover from it.

 

So, now's waiting for things to stabilize again. It's annoying, but this too shall pass.

 

[Sebas]

Very annoying indeed. The thing is, pharmacy checks for current drug use. And do not take withdrawal circumstances into consideration. Best practice is to take control for yourself and always double check. Have a good recovery 🌻

[Mamgu]

Great news that the tests came back showing nothing to worry about 🙂

 

I hope you can now put all your energies into self-care and get those WD symptoms under control x

[Fifree]

Hey Momiki. How are you going? I hope you've recovered from the bump in symptoms.

 

 

[Momiki]

Hi Fiftree,

 

Thanks for stopping by!

 

I hadn't been feeling great, but - as usual - wasn't certain of the cause. I was given a new brand of liquid citalopram by my new pharmacy at the beginning of this month. It had the same ingredients as the previous one, and was too lazy to deal with the hassle of bridging, so I just switched from one brand to the other. I also had a quite a cold. A few days ago I was beginning to wonder if things would ever settle, or if I should just to back to a 5 mg pill and give up. And then came yesterday, where my nose cleared, the fatigue was gone, my brain fog mostly lifted and I didn't get a headache after working at the office (my team only works on location once a week, and I often get a headache on those days). Yesterday was a good day. Here's hoping for the beginning of a long stretch of stability!

[Momiki]

Quick update after the previous post. The good day was followed by a short wave, perhaps due to the change to daylight saving time? But after a few days things got better again and I'm doing quite okay now. Not as brain-foggy, improved mood, better sleep, normal amount of hair loss. I'm not back to my pre-taper sharpness of mind yet and I feel like i have the body of an old lady (did some cardio yesterday, which lead to low-grade joint and muscle pain (different from muscle soreness). But still, life's alright.

[Momiki]

Work-related stress has increased shortly after my previous post, and so has the brain fog (I'm having trouble formulating my thoughts while writing this). I've also had problems with quickly feeling overstimulated. I wanted to take up knitting again, but piecing together things from YouTube tutorials turned out to be too much (whereas I have no problem with it normally). I joined an introduction course at a local kayak association, and I am loving it! Unfortunately, the first two evenings left me pretty unable to work the next day, my mind just wouldn't function. The third evening was on a different day, no work day on the day after that one, so no problems then. There are 3 evenings left, two of which aren't followed up by work days, so that's nice. After the introduction I can pick a subdiscipline (or more, if I wish to), and they have fixed training times, so I can pick one which days best suit my work schedule. So hopefully things will be manageable from that time on.

 

It's annoying, though, I hardly have any withdrawal symptoms, but the ones I do have make it tough to function at a normal level. Still happy that my mood is still good, sleep and hair loss are also normal. I know things will improve if I hold long enough, and I recognize my thoughts about perhaps updosing as just that: thoughts. After holding for 5 months already updosing probably won't be that beneficial. I'll continue being kind to myself, lowering the bar at work, allowing myself rest, both after work-stuff and non-work stuff. Hopefully improvements will come soon.

 

 

[Fifree]

15 hours ago, Momiki said:

I'll continue being kind to myself, lowering the bar at work, allowing myself rest, both after work-stuff and non-work stuff. Hopefully improvements will come soon.

Sounds very wise Momiki. I guess that’s what they call WD normal around here. Not 100%, but functioning. Sounds like you’re doing lots - work, kayaking, teaching yourself to knit. So yeah - allowing yourself to rest is probably the way to go. 
 

 

[Mamgu]

Love your 'being kind to myself' comment 😍.  There's a fine balance between living the life we want and the dramas of WD and it's great to see that you're doing things you enjoy.  xx

[Momiki]

Thought I'd post an update, to help my future self, in case I want to retrace certain events.

 

Up until two weeks ago things were rather uneventful, a stable feeling of blah. Problems with thinking remain, which hinders work, but so far I seem to perform at a good enough level to not raise suspicion. I feel unproductive, which isn't great for my mood, but it is what it is.

 

Not sure if I remember the timeline correctly, but since about two weeks ago things I started feeling worse. Around this same time I was given rizatriptan instead of sumatriptan for migraine attacks, as there is a shortage of the latter. I normally take half a tablet of sumatriptan, so I did the same for rizatriptan. Didn't work, so after about 3 hours I took the second halve of rizatriptan. This still didn't sufficiently stop the migraine. The next day I took a whole tablet, and that finally did the trick. First time in a long time that I had to call in sick at work for migraine. Usually one-half of sumatriptan does the trick, occasionally I take a second dose the day after, if it happens to flares back up. 

 

I felt slightly nauseated and slightly lightheaded in the following days, which I attributed to the rizatriptan. Both rizatriptan and sumatriptan are serotonin agonists, so I don't think it's a stretch to attribute increases in WD to them.

 

Another event I'd like to write down was a week and a half ago. In the morning I noticed a skin rash on my lower abdomen. The skin was red and warm, but not itchy or painful, and there were no bumps or elevated patches of skin. During the day I didn't feel too great, though I can't specifically pinpoint what it felt like. In the evening my temperature spiked to 39.2 degrees Celsius. During the night it went down to 38.4. At that point I took paracetamol to deal with the discomfort that started to arise due to my period starting (I'm on birth control). The next morning my temperature was normal, rising to 37.8 somewhere at the end of the day. Somewhere on this day I realized I didn't only have the skin reaction on my lower abdomen, but also further down and back up to the top of one butt cheek. I've had this type of skin reaction before, apparently back in 2021 already (calling it hives). I thought this was the first time with a fever, but apparently the only other time I wrote about it in this topic I also had a fever. I guess it wasn't as high as this time, though. Different this time was that I was using corticosteroid creme, prescribed by the GP to deal a possible case of lichen sclerosus. I stopped with the cream (was about time to do so anyway), switched to regular fatty cream after a few days. The skin reaction faded over a couple of days, becoming occasionally slightly itchy on day 3 and 4.

 

On day 3 I thought I was okay to go back to work, working from home, seen as I no longer had a fever. I worked for 4 hours, then called it quits. I felt nauseated, tired and my muscles felt weird. It felt like migraine but without the headache. I waited a while, hoping it would resolve on it's own, but eventually took a whole tablet of rizatriptan. This should work within half an hour, but it took longer than that for me to feel better, and its effect went off sooner than normal. On day 4 the weird feeling in my muscles was gone, and only nausea and fatigue were left, in the morning. On the fifth day I was again not feeling too well in the morning (though better than on day 4), and felt okay in the afternoon. Went back to work on day 5, after which I had a 3-day weekend.

 

I still have bouts of slight nausea and lightheadedness, and my mood plummeted on Saturday. The feeling of being easily overwhelmed came back, as well as reacting way stronger than necessary on setbacks. It's quite weird, on the one hand my brain or body seems to be yelling that there are serious problems, but when I turn on my neutral-in-the-now thinking cap, there isn't that much wrong. I'm lonely and somewhat disappointed that attendance from others at the kayak events is quite low (I was hoping to meet a lot of new people and form new friendships), but things will probably work out if just have patience and keep attending what's being organized. No need for alarm signals.

 

I was at the GP today for a follow-up on the corticosteroid creme, and I told her about the skin reaction. She didn't know what to make of it. She asked me to come in next time it occurs, so she can see it for herself. I didn't call last week, as they are understaffed and fully booked, and I didn't consider myself an emergency. She referred me to a specialized clinic for the thought-to-be-lichen problem, as the cream didn't work as well as she thought it might. Perhaps it's a different auto-immune problem. For the sake of completeness I told her about my problems with reducing ADs (It was my second time seeing this GP, my previous AD conversation was with her colleague), and that I wouldn't be surprised if it was a problem related to hormonal disbalance. The GP asked if I had guidance tapering, and said it was possible to obtain tapering strips. It was nice to hear a doctor offering this. I told her I have a liquid solution, though, so I can extract any amount I want, no need for tapering strips. She told me she had several patients that seemed to be stuck at a minimal dose, that they need in order to feel good, much lower than the therapeutic dose. I told her it might be that that minimal dose is withdrawal-related, not them needing the drug to stave off depression. I seem to be stuck at a minimal dose, but I don't have a recurrence of my original symptoms (anxiety). She wasn't dismissive of that, which was nice. And I'm glad that both her and the other GP have no problem with my very long tapering journey. Seems like knowledge is improving in GP circles.

 

I probably realized it before already, but I came to the realization that the migraine medication likely makes my tapering journey more difficult. Which sucks, but it also makes me feel like I have a 'legitimite' reason that I'm still struggling, even though I've been holding for so long. I tend to regard my own WD as something I'm partly responsible for, as I am the one making the decisions to lower my dose at certain times. Although rationally I don't agree with that, I never chose to have this happen to me.

[Sebas]

Both migraine tablets and corticosteroid creme will worsen withdrawal, especially when used together. So you did well to switch to regular crème. Avoid chemicals, alcohol, anti inflammatory and antioxidant during WD.

[Momiki]

Thanks, Sebas. I didn't know steroids could be a problem. I'll read up on it some more on this forum.

 

Further update: Nausea has subsided mostly. Appetite has been off at times, sometimes subversion to food, other times no satiation. Currently dealing with fatigue, brain fog, feeling more emotional. I had a very short bout of hair loss, just 2 to 3 days. That lasted much longer in the past, so here's hoping the rest will resolve quicker too.. I'll be going abroad for a canoe trip at the end of the week, a group trip. Bit concerned about the fatigue, I hope I'll be able to participate normally.

[Momiki]

Timeline regarding stressful events this year, cause I will forget this in the future.

 

Nov 26 2022 - decreased from 1.24 mg to 1.2 mg

Dec 14 - viewing of potential new home

Jan 6 2023 - Moving to new place

Jan 8 - Seriously injuring abdominal muscle

Feb 8 - Scheduling of surgery (not related to abdomen)

Feb 15 - Surgery itself. Prescription of omeprazole, taken for 3 days.

+- March 6 - Brand change of citalopram

May 26 - start use of topical corticosteroid (Clobetasol propionate)

+- June 12 - First time? Rizatriptan instead of sumatriptan.

+- June 19 - Second time? Rizatriptan

+- June 24 - Fever, extensive rash. Stopped corticosteroid cream.

 

Haven't used migraine medication after the second time taking rizatriptan.

 

[Mamgu]

Hi Momiki

 

Wow, when you list all those together like that, it shows how much you've experienced recently that impacts your nervous system.  It's no wonder you're experiencing fatigue and brain fog etc. But good news your hair loss episode finished quicker than usual, so yes here's hoping!

 

I hope your canoe trip goes well and perks you up. I remember ChessieCat telling me when I first joined this forum that 'fun' stress can impact withdrawal symptoms so don't forget to gets lots of rest when you can during your trip 🙂

xx

[Momiki]

Yeah, fun stress is still stress. No fair, eh? I'm going to take hope from your energy boost at the Harry Potter park and hope that the same will happen for me. Ten days in a row. 😛