CeruleanSea: Introduction

[CeruleanSea]

Feeling concerned today. I’m having more word finding problems and slight memory problems. I have experienced this before with c/t, and with greater reductions. In fact I reinstated fully from 37.5 in fall 2021 because of similar effects. 

 

This is so concerning plus embarrassing as a working professional. 
 

This time I’m not going to reinstate. I’m planning to take this month’s  reduction slower. I had reduced another 10% of my current dose. I’m planning for the rest of the month to reduce 5% from where I was on March 1 & stay there. From 45 to 42.75 instead of 40.5. 

[CeruleanSea]

I’m having such brain fog!! This is frustrating & concerning. I feel like I never healed from c/t years & years ago.  Ever since then my thinking has not been 100%.  I’ve even had neuropsych testing and it showed a lower than average attention span but really great long-term memory. Now I would say to my attention span and working memory that are affected. 
 

what to do? I’m also working through other possible health concerns to see if anything else could be contributing to this symptom. So far everything has been normal.

[Blossom71]

Hi @CeruleanSea

 

I'm sorry the fog and attention span is bad. It’s hard isn’t it.

 

My attention span and brain fog has been absolutely terrible since I started the meds. I thought it was the trauma that had done that but I know now it’s the meds. 
I have short periods when I can concentrate and have amazing attention to detail and then days when I can only concentrate long enough to answer e-mails and do basic admin.  I think it’s partly attention span but I think It’s also partly that some days I just couldn’t care much about anything.  I wish I could turn the clock back sometimes.

[CeruleanSea]

Over the last week, I’ve been starting to feel great! My brain fog fell away.  I’ve been feeling more motivated & optimistic.  
 

At the same time, I’ve been having insomnia with unrefreshing sleep for a couple of days. It may be that my bad coffee habit contributes to this.

 

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve often drank 2-3 cups of coffee daily to manage my ssri fatigue.. ☕️☕️☕️ It’s the only real addiction I’ve had in life, but it’s there. And I’m guessing I’ve got to cut out that third cup now.  
 

 

[Blossom71]

Oh that's brilliant @CeruleanSea

The insomnia not so great.  Could you switch to decaf?    Maybe start with decaf for the 3rd cup?

 

I love coffee but I developed an allergy to caffeine so I'd get hives all over my face.   I switched to decaf as I can tolerate that, so I still get to have my lovely coffee on a morning.

[CeruleanSea]

I noticed yesterday that I felt unusually nervous when speaking with a group.  I was meeting a group of people for the first time at my child's school.  This nervousness is to be expected somewhat, but it was also after I had a big cup of delicious Starbucks coffee.    

 

I can see now that the coffee really contributes to my anxiety AND possibly insomnia.  The habit really did take hold on sertraline, as it gives me a bit of fatigue.  

 

On 3/16/2022 at 3:22 AM, Blossom71 said:

The insomnia not so great.  Could you switch to decaf?    Maybe start with decaf for the 3rd cup?

 

@Blossom71, I like the suggestion to make my third cup decaf.  I'm looking into that or into switching to green tea for the third cup.  

 

 

[CeruleanSea]

I should be thinking one day at a time, but I'm already thinking about my taper for April 2022.  Cutting down another 10% would bring me to 36.45.  But I'm planning to reduce to 37.5 so I can just use the tablets I am already prescribed.  Cutting one 25 mg pill in half creates 12.5 mg, and my pills are scored.  Just one month of not worrying over dissolving, measuring reductions.

 

In the past, 37.5 is when I start to feel more brain fog, memory and word-finding issues, and more panicky.   Thinking over how to manage those symptoms.   Obviously less caffeine is part of it.

[CeruleanSea]

I am feeling so motivated today!  Better focus than in a long time, especially on full dose meds.    

 

When I began, I complained to my doctor about lower motivation.  I'm already starting to see more after 1-1/2 months of reductions.

[CeruleanSea]

Whoops, I feel I’ve backslid. I was ill with bad headaches on Monday night & took my whole 50 mg dose thoughtlessly.
 

Tuesday I was amazingly motivated & focused! I was clever with jokes when conversing…Wednesday on a regular dose I just felt so blah & unmotivated & foggy.

 

Staying the course but wishing I could have it all.

[CeruleanSea]

I'm noticing that I am absurdly hungry on the higher dose of sertaline.   Maybe I was always this hungry on it and did not know?

[CeruleanSea]

I had a horrible day-long headache both Wednesday and Thursday.  Migraine-like symptoms, light sensitivity, poor thinking.  I'm planning to arrange a check-up with my family doctor, as I'm starting to suspect there may be more going on than just ssri withdrawal with these frequent headaches.  

[Blossom71]

Sorry you're not feeling too great @CeruleanSea

 

I\'ve been a bit up and down this week but instead of taking a higher dose by accident I forgot mine 🙄

Hope you get you headaches sorted.   I do rarely get headaches but they've definitely been more frequent since i started dropping.  I hope it's just that and nothing else x

[CeruleanSea]

After a couple of nights of taking a full dose due to a hectic schedule & missing dropper, I dropped to 37.5 in order to have an easier dose for now. This is approximately an 8% drop, and I think good as I’ll adhere to a plan. 
 

I’m feeling the same as with other drops. I laugh easily, feel more motivated & more romantic as well.  I also feel a bit scattered, unfocused, “adhd”-ish.
 

And a minor dizziness + low energy at times,  always 18-19 hours after the last dose.

 

I’m most worried re brain fog + adhd symptoms. My sister has asked if I need to be on adhd meds, so it’s apparent to outsiders.
 

 

 

 

[CeruleanSea]

Augh I had a panic attack while driving today! I live in a city that is fairly new to me and I am deathly afraid of freeways and highways. I had to take a detour and it looked like I was being routed towards the freeway. I felt such a panic, pressure & pounding heart.  I had to slow down in traffic nearly stopping in order to get into the proper lane to avoid the freeway.  I was really afraid to cause an accident, and I’m lucky that the cars behind me were alert and slowed down when I slowed down.

 

This has happened in the past when I have hit this dose, 37.5 is where serotonin receptor occupancy drops a bit from 90% to 80%.  It’s quite ridiculous as 80% is still a lot of medication. 
 

I really don’t know what to do. I must drive. I live in an area that does not have other forms of transportation easily available. I can definitely avoid coffee which probably contributes to the fear. But this is a lifelong fear around freeways and highways. I have at times recently challenged it by driving to other cities. Even on 50 mg of serturline, there was still some panic but I was able to drive normally and talk myself through it. But this feels overwhelming now. 

 

 

 

 

[Blossom71]

Hi @CeruleanSea

I’m sorry that happened to you.
Will it help once the roads become more familiar to you?

Would it help you to do practice runs of places you need to go at a time when traffic is quieter?

 

37.5mg has hit me quite hard too. I didn’t realise why though so thanks for that info. I only did a really small drop to this dose so couldn’t understand why but that explains it.

[CeruleanSea]

After a thyroid checkup, it turns out that I’m very hypothyroid right now with a slow thyroid. It will take 6 weeks to be back to normal, if all goes well.

 

I feel such a relief about this diagnosis. I haven’t been feeling right and it’s good to know that there is a treatable cause.

 

With this change, I’m considering either going back to my original dose or just holding at 40.5 until I’m stabilized. 

[Frogie]

@CeruleanSea

 

@Gridleyis on leave for a little while, so I thought I would help you out.

 

I think it would be a good idea for you to just hold at 40.5 until your thyroid is stable.

 

I too have hypothyroidism and it took about 6-8 weeks before I felt "human" again. But I had to change medications a couple of times before we found one that worked well for me.

 

Good luck and keep us posted.

[Blossom71]

@CeruleanSea

While I'm not happy for you for the thyroid diagnosis, I'm happy that it's been found and can be treated.   I hope that you'll be feeling ship-shape soon.  Take care in the meantime x

[CeruleanSea]

Thanks for the support, everyone!   

 

I've figured out how to manage dosing for now.  I'm going down to 40 from 40.5.  i do feel tired and unable to bother at times.  But dissolving in 50 ml of water and removing 10ml (2 teaspoons) of water is easy.    I started this last night and feel fine.

[CeruleanSea]

Feeling pretty good on 40 mg of sertraline!  I do feel the drop from 40.5 mg to 40 a bit, which I did not expect. Mostly I feel more motivated, without a lot of increased anxiety.

 

Still planning to stick here until my thyroid test comes back normal.  The improved treatment is providing me with more energy already.

[CeruleanSea]

Still here, just waiting for my thyroid to normalize until I continue with my drop.   

 

I do have to say, my focus is not as good as it was on a higher dose.  This is paradoxical to me, as I remember having trouble focusing on the sertraline at first.  What has changed?

[CeruleanSea]

I'm just checking in. Things are going well. Much less brain fog due to my health improving all around.   Looking forward to summer!

[CeruleanSea]

Hello everyone, I am back. I've been primarily on 40 mgs during this time.

 

I feel it would make most sense to drop to 37.5.   I am nervous about this.  I honestly feel the drop of receptor occupancy at this level in great measure.

 

One thing I should probably do, is taper off caffeine. Or limit to one cup a day. I drink coffee several times a day.  I rely on it a lot to break through ssri-induced apathy. 

[ChessieCat]

9 hours ago, CeruleanSea said:

I feel it would make most sense to drop to 37.5.   I am nervous about this.  I honestly feel the drop of receptor occupancy at this level in great measure.

 

If you feel nervous about making a reduction of that size then you can always make a smaller reduction.  For example reduce to 39mg.  If you are anxious about it, then that can add fear and consequently symptoms which are not related to the withdrawal but are caused by the anxiety.  See the following labelled diagram which lists symptoms of anxiety.  It would be very easy to think that you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms when they might be the worry about the reduction.

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/anxiety-self-help/

 

[CeruleanSea]

Thanks for this suggestion C C! 
 

I dropped to 37.5 last night. Currently it’s 4 o clock in the morning & I barely got any sleep.  I drank a strong coffee yesterday afternoon + took a stimulant antihistamine for allergies.   The combination has been a predictably bad one. 

 

My mind raced with worry all night.  On the one hand, this is good as I’ve been dragging + unmotivated. I now feel sheer motivation. In the night, I recalled and listed out for myself tasks that had been overlooked at work.  
 

On the other hand, I really need sleep + not to panic.  
 

In the night, I ordered some caffeine pills that allow for a taper of caffeine without migraines. I’m ready to change this habit.

 

 I’m also planning to switch to a non-stimulating antihistamine.

 

Tomorrow night, planning on 39 mg.

 

 

[CeruleanSea]

I bumped back up to 40 mgs last night & am back to myself. Planning to drop to 39 mgs after the weekend & stay there for the month. 
 

I’m spending the weekend in nature at a lake cottage in Wisconsin, it’s very fun & an amazing natural antidepressant!

[ChessieCat]

Jumping your doses up and down is not recommended.  It takes about 4 days for a dose to get to full level in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain.

 

Also the effect of changing your doses has a cumulative effect on the nervous system.  Something they you might have done a few times in the past and it worked, you might try to do it again and you get destabilised.

 

It sounds like you changed the dose of your Zoloft when that may not have been the cause of the issues that arose.

 

What we see here at SA is that some members cause their own issues by not being patient and careful.  When this happens they will have to deal with the consequences.

 

My suggestion would be to hold off on making a reduction until you get the caffeine/antihistamine sorted out.  It is recommended to only make one change at a time.

 

Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable

[CeruleanSea]

I’ve been able to switch to 37.5 mgs from 40. I have been successful here for the last couple of weeks.

 

I’ve noted occasional uncharacteristic outbursts of anger. Yet I’ve also experienced a few hot flashes.   It’s possible that I’m experiencing menopausal changes (peri menopause) & symptoms, or that the sertraline was treating these symptoms at a higher dose.

 

The last week was also unusually stressful. I have a plan for better self care in the coming week.

 

 

[ChessieCat]

4 minutes ago, CeruleanSea said:

The last week was also unusually stressful.

 

Increased stress can worsen withdrawal symptoms.  Be sure to hold for the 4 weeks or longer if needed and make your next reduction 10% of less of the current dose, so 10% would be 33.75mg.

 

Please update your drug signature with the (full date and the dose):  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

[CeruleanSea]

At this dose, I'm experiencing some intrusive thoughts. I am able to shake them off.  They are often in the realm of magical thinking and superstition,  almost too embarrassing to describe.   OCD-like, in the sense that something bad will happen or something good will happen based on minor actions. I am not 'delusional' in the sense that I am aware that these thoughts are not real.  and I am fighting them off.    I did have symptoms like these before I went on medication 20 years ago.

 

I wanted to note -- I am having some unusual physical symptoms including sudden hair thinning. My doctor is running thyroid and B12 labs to see if I may be having a health problem that is contributing to this.  If so, this could also contribute to OCD-like symptoms.

 

 

[Ariel]

Hi @CeruleanSea

 

I notice in your drug signature that you're taking Vitamin D. 

Vitamin D can be activating to our hypersensitive systems in withdrawal. Reactions can exacerbate symptoms and contribute to higher levels of uneasiness.

Have you considered foregoing the supplement in favor of natural sunlight?

 

Are you still drinking coffee or have you successfully eliminated caffeine as planned?

Caffeine can increase withdrawal symptoms. 

 

1 hour ago, CeruleanSea said:

I am having some unusual physical symptoms including sudden hair thinning.

 

It's good that you're getting medical tests to be on the safe side. 

I can share that I did have a phase in withdrawal where I had significant hair loss. This has since resolved. 

I have seen other members report similar experiences. 

 

Best of luck to you on your continuous healing journey,

A.

 

[CeruleanSea]

@Ariel thanks for mentioning this.  This reminds me —I’ve been back on pseudoephedrine this week for severe allergies. It’s time to discontinue that medication & find another solution.

 

As for Vitamin D, unfortunately I have a health condition that reduces my ability to absorb & utilize Vitamin D.  I’ll be continuing with it.

 

And caffeine — I still need to taper! I’ve got the tapering pills but haven’t wanted to start.

 

 

[CeruleanSea]

Wow, I'm starting to notice something positive about this current dose.   I

 

My social skills have improved!   I am more aware of other people's moods and nonverbal communication.  

 

I am experiencing a broader range of moods myself.  I am laughing more, and I think this is something people are responding positively to.   

 

Also, fingers crossed, NO PANIC ATTACKS at this dose yet -- and it has been a dose that has been tough for me to adjust to in the past.  

[ChessieCat]

That's good news.  There was a lower dose when I started noticing my emotions returning.

 

Just be aware that sometimes it might be a bit overwhelming.

[CeruleanSea]

Thanks so much, Chessie. yes when I was unmedicated I had a feeling of often fencing with my difficult feelings.  We will see what I can do!

[ChessieCat]

3 hours ago, CeruleanSea said:

I had a feeling of often fencing with my difficult feelings.

 

I learned CBT not long before I found SA and it was helpful during taper and now that I'm off completely.  There are other non drug coping skills that I learned and use, including trying to work out the cause of the issue (eg hungry, tired, overwhelmed, lonely) and often use self talk and calming techniques.