KenA: Finally Made It Through

[KenA]

@peaceandlove Glad that you reached out!! I have found positivity is the only way to get through this process!! Being negative doesn't do a bit of good and just makes the process more painful. A positive mindset can truly turn things around!! I did have a lot of digestive issues for quite a while. Nausea, stomach cramps, intestinal cramps, constipation, loose stools, heartburn, you name it, I had it. I would chew on tums for the heart burn and take a probiotic to help with the intestinal stuff. But other than that, it just took lots of time for everything to get back to normal. I can remember going to my doctor so many times and they could never find anything wrong with me. I thought I had appendecitis, colitis, auto-immune disease, you name it. I made the mistake of googling and that will scare the crap out of you. In the end, it all came down to just being symptoms of WD. Everything has resolved and I'm able to eat what I want, when I want, and I have no issues what-so-ever You will get there, just remember to take it as easy as you can. If you have something that truly scares you, it's ok to get it checked out at the dr, but don't be suprised if they can't find anything wrong. And for sure, don't let them try and just guess and throw random pills your way. My Dr tried to prescribe so many things and I would not take any of them. Just time time and more time!

 

Ken

[peaceandlove]

11 minutes ago, KenA said:

@peaceandlove Glad that you reached out!! I have found positivity is the only way to get through this process!! Being negative doesn't do a bit of good and just makes the process more painful. A positive mindset can truly turn things around!! I did have a lot of digestive issues for quite a while. Nausea, stomach cramps, intestinal cramps, constipation, loose stools, heartburn, you name it, I had it. I would chew on tums for the heart burn and take a probiotic to help with the intestinal stuff. But other than that, it just took lots of time for everything to get back to normal. I can remember going to my doctor so many times and they could never find anything wrong with me. I thought I had appendecitis, colitis, auto-immune disease, you name it. I made the mistake of googling and that will scare the crap out of you. In the end, it all came down to just being symptoms of WD. Everything has resolved and I'm able to eat what I want, when I want, and I have no issues what-so-ever You will get there, just remember to take it as easy as you can. If you have something that truly scares you, it's ok to get it checked out at the dr, but don't be suprised if they can't find anything wrong. And for sure, don't let them try and just guess and throw random pills your way. My Dr tried to prescribe so many things and I would not take any of them. Just time time and more time!

 

Ken

Yes it’s crazy all these symptoms resemble so many other conditions you’ll think so much is wrong with you when really nothing is. Thanks so much for the advice & the reply! Have a wonderful day 

[Jilla]

On 6/28/2022 at 3:38 PM, KenA said:

@jonah2001Hey there.

Yep, it truly is an extremely non-linear process my friend! The only thing you can be sure of is to expect the unexpected. That way you are never disappointed. Waves honestly my friend can keep hitting you until the healing is done. And there is no telling how long that it will take. But you just have to keep focusing on the good days and accept the bad ones. When you have the waves, that is just your brain doing some more healing! As long as there is healing that still needs to be done, then the waves will come. But welcome them in my friend! It's a good thing! You are healing more and more each and every time!! I honestly had waves for a really really long time. I don't know honestly how long they happend, but it was at least a year and a half or even more. I just got to the point where I didn't let the waves bother me any more. I turned them from negative to positive! I would welcome them because it meant I was gonna be even better after they would be done! I'll be honest with you, even today at almost 3 years I can still feel a bit off here and there. Nothing that I would even consider a wave any more, but maybe just a ripple or so. Just more adjustments and balances that are getting made. My mentor taught me that this process can take years, but it's ok. The further and further along we get the better and better we will be. So now when I feel a bit off like some anxiety or maybe a ringing in my ears, I just acknowledge it and move on. It always stops at some point. It's all good healing my friend!! It's all good healing!! Hang in there!! You've got this!! Just keep giving it more and more time and accept the process!!

 

Ken

 

[Jilla]

Thanks for sharing Ken! I will try to see the waves as a time of healing. Hard to do sometimes when they are so debilitating. Do they ease up in intensity over time?

[KenA]

@Jilla You are most welcome Just remember that anytime our bodies are having to heal there will be side effects. But It's honestly a good thing. It means you are getting better. They are hard to go through, not gonna lie, but they always stop at some point. Every wave I ever had was always followed by a beautiful window of peace. 100 percent never failed. They will ease up in intensity over time. When I first started out, it always felt like a 10 out of 10 in intensity. Then they would be like a 9 or 8. Then 7 and so on and so on till toward the end, they didn't even feel like waves any more, just ripples. But that's how it worked for me. It's different for everyone because we are all unique individuals. But you are gonna heal for sure. Just keep giving it time, time and more time. It's worth it I promise!! Keep going till you cross that finish line and be healed and feeling amazing again!! It will happen

 

Ken

[Jilla]

You are such an encourager! Thank you. 

[jonah2001]

Hey @KenA, Jonah here.. 

 

To be honest, I definitely was improving over the last 8 week's.. and now on Sunday an absolute monster wave hitted me. Very very strong! 

I am feeling like a view month ago. did you also experienced those waves, even at year out? 

 

it's like all improvements vanishes and you feel terrible again.. and before this, I had many many okay day's. Where I wasn't suffering that much, but still not great.. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[KenA]

@jonah2001 Yep, it's all normal my friend. Non-linear healing at it's finest. You have to accept anything and everything that comes your way. The sooner you stop fighting against it and just accept what's happening, the easier it will get. Not better, but easier. Let it ride my friend. I experienced waves for a very very long time. I just got used to them and accepted them as a part of my healing. It truly made a difference when I learned acceptance. I had a wave once that lasted for 17 days and it was well after the one year mark. I sent you a message. Keep hanging in there. Just remember this too shall pass.

[peaceandlove]

On 7/1/2022 at 2:27 PM, KenA said:

@peaceandlove Glad that you reached out!! I have found positivity is the only way to get through this process!! Being negative doesn't do a bit of good and just makes the process more painful. A positive mindset can truly turn things around!! I did have a lot of digestive issues for quite a while. Nausea, stomach cramps, intestinal cramps, constipation, loose stools, heartburn, you name it, I had it. I would chew on tums for the heart burn and take a probiotic to help with the intestinal stuff. But other than that, it just took lots of time for everything to get back to normal. I can remember going to my doctor so many times and they could never find anything wrong with me. I thought I had appendecitis, colitis, auto-immune disease, you name it. I made the mistake of googling and that will scare the crap out of you. In the end, it all came down to just being symptoms of WD. Everything has resolved and I'm able to eat what I want, when I want, and I have no issues what-so-ever You will get there, just remember to take it as easy as you can. If you have something that truly scares you, it's ok to get it checked out at the dr, but don't be suprised if they can't find anything wrong. And for sure, don't let them try and just guess and throw random pills your way. My Dr tried to prescribe so many things and I would not take any of them. Just time time and more time!

 

Ken

were your stomach issues like heartburn, constapation etc constant or come & go?? Iike did you have it for 3 months straight then it never came back again or did it come for a week, go away, then come back again for a month go away type of pattern??

[KenA]

On 8/12/2022 at 4:04 PM, peaceandlove said:

were your stomach issues like heartburn, constapation etc constant or come & go?? Iike did you have it for 3 months straight then it never came back again or did it come for a week, go away, then come back again for a month go away type of pattern??

They were very constant for the first probably 6-7 months or so, then I would start getting small breaks from the symptoms. then slowly slowly would go away, settled into the windows waves patterns after the first rough patch

[KenA]

Sorry I haven't had a chance to respond to everyone who has messaged lately. Been going through another round of COVID which has kicked me on my butt. Will slowly try to respond to everyone as energy permits! Take care everyone!

 

Ken

[Ariel]

Hi @KenA

So sorry to hear you've been going through COVID -- again! 

Take good care of yourself, you are cherished!

Thank you so much for all your generous contributions. 

You help so many, including me.

Get well soon, sending healing vibes <3

A.

[Moonpie]

@KenA I am so very very sorry to hear you have covid again and you're having a hard time! I had my 2nd time around about a month ago. It was way rougher than the 1st. Mainly  extreme extreme  fatigue.  I am praying for you a speedy recovery and your strength to return quickly.

[KenA]

@Moonpie @Ariel

Thanks much for the well wishes!! On day 11 now and feeling quite a bit better. This time around wasn't as bad as the first couple of times. Seems like my immune system is still a bit primed from the last times I've had it. Hopefully it's almost over

 

Ken

[Ariel]

Hi @KenA

Good to hear you're on the mend.

Hope you feel better and better with each dawning day. 

Get well soon, healing vibes <3

A. 

[KenA]

On 7/9/2022 at 10:47 AM, Jilla said:

You are such an encourager! Thank you. 

@JillaJust noticed I never responded to you   You are most welcome my friend!! Hope that you are doing well!

 

Ken

[Jilla]

I am doing better. Thank you! Sorry to hear about you having Covid again. Hope you get back to 100% health quickly!

[Knosretep]

On 8/23/2022 at 10:24 PM, KenA said:

@Moonpie @Ariel

Thanks much for the well wishes!! On day 11 now and feeling quite a bit better. This time around wasn't as bad as the first couple of times. Seems like my immune system is still a bit primed from the last times I've had it. Hopefully it's almost over

 

Ken

 

Hi Ken,

 

I'm glad to read you're doing better!  Hopefully by now you're back to 100%!  I still read your success story often when I'm in a dark place, which has been often as I've adjusted to tapering and trying to find the best pace.

 

Thanks for continuing to stick around and holding out that hand for the rest of us still struggling in the darkness.

[Lilly998]

CONGRATULATIONS for ur recovery 👏 

 

Such an inspiration ✨️ 

 

On 6/28/2022 at 11:38 PM, KenA said:

I honestly had waves for a really really long time. I don't know honestly how long they happend, but it was at least a year and a half or even more

I'd ask u if u were having wave for a year and half non stop without windows ?! 

Bec I am having 11 months without any windows and so sad about it 

 

On 6/28/2022 at 11:38 PM, KenA said:

My mentor taught me that this process can take years, but it's ok. The further and further along we get the better and better we will be.

Are u experiencing any WD symptoms till now ? Or u have recovered/healed totally 🌻

[KenA]

On 8/28/2022 at 1:33 AM, Knosretep said:

 

Hi Ken,

 

I'm glad to read you're doing better!  Hopefully by now you're back to 100%!  I still read your success story often when I'm in a dark place, which has been often as I've adjusted to tapering and trying to find the best pace.

 

Thanks for continuing to stick around and holding out that hand for the rest of us still struggling in the darkness.

@Knosretep Thank you for the well wishes! I am back to 100 percent again and feeling back to normal. Def was a lot easier this time around. Milder symptoms and shorter recovery time Glad to hear that my success story helps you through the darkness I know how important that light we shine can be to help others in need!! You will get to this point one day as well and I look forward to reading your success story one day!!

 

Keep hanging in there! You are doing awesome!

Ken

[KenA]

9 hours ago, Lilly998 said:

CONGRATULATIONS for ur recovery 👏 

 

Such an inspiration ✨️ 

 

I'd ask u if u were having wave for a year and half non stop without windows ?! 

Bec I am having 11 months without any windows and so sad about it 

 

Are u experiencing any WD symptoms till now ? Or u have recovered/healed totally 🌻

@Lilly998Thank you  I would say the windows started for me around month 7-8 or so. They were very very small and short at first but as more and more time when by they got longer and brighter. Sorry to hear that you have gone for 11 months without any windows. I have a mentor who helped me through and it was the same way with her. No windows for a very long time and then when they started they were very brief! But she is completely healed now so just goes to show that everyone is different. We all heal in our own way! Never give up hope no matter how hard it gets to be. Your day of healing is coming as well no matter how long or how it gets here!! Just keep on taking it one day at a time until it does

 

Happy to say I very rarely experience any symptoms at all anymore. Occasionally I will still get a bit of tinnitus and a bit of morning anxiety, but it fades within 10-15 minutes so it doesn't bother me at all. I just shrug my shoulders and go on about my business. Acceptance is huge!! Once you've learned how to accept everything that is happening to you, it loses its power over you! Symptoms if they come now days don't bother me a bit because I know they will go away shortly

 

You are doing amazing!! Almost have made it to the 1 year mark!! That is huge!! You just have to keep hanging in there knowing that you too will be healed one day!! Doesn't matter how long it takes because the end result is that you will be healed and that is all that matters!! Till then just take it easy on yourself and accept the process  You've got this and you know it!

 

Ken

Edited August 29, 2022 by KenA

[Lilly998]

1 hour ago, KenA said:

@Lilly998Thank you  I would say the windows started for me around month 7-8 or so. They were very very small and short at first but as more and more time when by they got longer and brighter. Sorry to hear that you have gone for 11 months without any windows. I have a mentor who helped me through and it was the same way with her. No windows for a very long time and then when they started they were very brief! But she is completely healed now so just goes to show that everyone is different. We all heal in our own way! Never give up hope no matter how hard it gets to be. Your day of healing is coming as well no matter how long or how it gets here!! Just keep on taking it one day at a time until it does

 

Happy to say I very rarely experience any symptoms at all anymore. Occasionally I will still get a bit of tinnitus and a bit of morning anxiety, but it fades within 10-15 minutes so it doesn't bother me at all. I just shrug my shoulders and go on about my business. Acceptance is huge!! Once you've learned how to accept everything that is happening to you, it loses its power over you! Symptoms if they come now days don't bother me a bit because I know they will go away shortly

 

You are doing amazing!! Almost have made it to the 1 year mark!! That is huge!! You just have to keep hanging in there knowing that you too will be healed one day!! Doesn't matter how long it takes because the end result is that you will be healed and that is all that matters!! Till then just take it easy on yourself and accept the process  You've got this and you know it!

 

Ken

@KenA thanks alot Ken for ur words 

I was in need of it 🌻✨️😀

 

But can I ask is it an uncommon thing here in sa to not have windows for a year .. and if u remember the name of the girl that u mentioned so I can talk to her it would be great 🌻

[rebbie]

Thank you, Ken for your encouraging success story and continuing input encouraging others. I’ve just found this support site. When I approached my psychiatrist about tapering, she was very supportive to begin reducing my dosages 3-4 months ago. I didn’t think it was too fast, but now am aware of how quick my reductions have been and that I’m at risk for complex withdrawal symptoms. I’m monitoring my moods and cognition and physical symptoms and your words are very helpful to me as I navigate living life without psych meds  since my diagnoses 23 years ago.

[KenA]

On 8/29/2022 at 5:36 PM, Lilly998 said:

But can I ask is it an uncommon thing here in sa to not have windows for a year .. and if u remember the name of the girl that u mentioned so I can talk to her it would be great 🌻

@Lilly998It really does vary from person to person to be honest. There are some people who do not get windows and there are others that get them quite often. Everyone is different so it really just depends. My mentor's name is Denise, but she is not on the forums. She has moved on with her life from WD and no longer is active in the community. She and I keep in touch on Facebook.

 

Ken

[KenA]

On 8/29/2022 at 8:20 PM, rebbie said:

Thank you, Ken for your encouraging success story and continuing input encouraging others. I’ve just found this support site. When I approached my psychiatrist about tapering, she was very supportive to begin reducing my dosages 3-4 months ago. I didn’t think it was too fast, but now am aware of how quick my reductions have been and that I’m at risk for complex withdrawal symptoms. I’m monitoring my moods and cognition and physical symptoms and your words are very helpful to me as I navigate living life without psych meds  since my diagnoses 23 years ago.

@rebbie You are most welcome Keep hanging in there! You are going to make it!!! You've got this!

[jonah2001]

@KenA

Hey Ken, i am very confused. I had a window, what lasted more or less 13-14 days where i felt quite okay. Not completely terrible, but also not perfect. And out of nowhere a wave hit me. I feel very bad out of nowhere. Did you also had such strong waves out of nowhere?

It broke my heart! Because i was doing so "good".

And did you felt completely normal in your windows at 14 month out? Because my windows are more like i feel okay and can imagine how it must feel to be completely normal. 

My windows feel like the groundhog phase that you describe. Not really bad but also not my old me full off excitement and energy. Somedays i feel realy good, but it's more like not good but also not bad..

 

Where your windows the groundhog phase or did you felt not bad but also not good in your waves?

[KenA]

@jonah2001 Hey there. Yep, the only thing that is predictable about the waves is that they are completely unpredictable!! They can hit you out of nowhere when you are feeling good. When your brain and CNS need to get more healing done, it will do so when it wants. I would have many extended windows that would last 2 weeks or more and then that dreaded wave would come back and bam, time for more healing. You just have to keep reminding yourself that the waves are necessary for your healing. Once you are fully healed they will stop and you will be well again. At 14 months out, I was still having waves hit me as well. I was getting extended windows like you, but those waves were always there waiting for me. I just got to the point that when it was time for a wave, I knew it was time for more healing. And once the wave passed, I knew the next windows would be amazing. Always focus on the positive!! As more and more time passes the waves will get less intense and become shorter. Just have to push through them!! You've got this!! 

Edited September 9, 2022 by KenA
typo

[jonah2001]

Thank you so much for you answer. But can you tell me how you felt in your windows? Did you felt completely normal in your windows? Or did your windows got better and better and stronger over the time?  

[KenA]

@jonah2001They would vary. Sometimes they would be absolutely amazing and I would feel normal again and could do anything. Other windows were just a break in the symptoms. Wouldn't necessarily feel amazing, but wouldn't feel bad either. It's all random my friend. Trying to make sense of it will only drive you crazy. Enjoy the good days and hang on during the rough ones. Over time I would have more and more good days, but for me the more I accepted what was happening, the less I would focus on the symptoms and I would just live. That's the best way I can honestly describe it. 

[jonah2001]

Thank you so much Ken for your answer. I felt definitely okay for more or less 14 day's.. 

Now the wave hitted me again. 

But when I look back, I had definitely way more good day's in the last 6 week's, than 5 month ago.. 

 

It's like in average I get more good day's, and less bad day's. But the bad day's are still bad. 

 

And the strong waves come less often.. but when they come.. they really hit me on the ground. Like the last 3 day's. 

 

 

In the windows I think, wow I am almost there, and in the wave I think I am millions of kilometres away from being healed. 

 

Some symptoms (feelings, vanish for a couple of weeks. And than come back). 

 

It's such a terrible process, because I never know what will happen next.

[jonah2001]

But thank you so much Ken, for helping me through that terrible time. Without you guys, it would be impossible to survive that bullsh*t! 

Thank you Ken. With your help ( and the help of others like @Armorall, i wouldn't be able to go through all that suffering. But when you tell me: "Yes, i know that, had the same and now i am fine". It helps so incredible much!!!

[KenA]

@jonah2001 Of course my friend! Just remember that you are healing each and every day! Youve got this!

[arbor]

I really appreciate all that you're doing to help us keep up our spirits as we go through w/d.  Thank you @KenA.

[KenA]

3 minutes ago, arbor said:

I really appreciate all that you're doing to help us keep up our spirits as we go through w/d.  Thank you @KenA.

Most welcome my friend. Thats what Im here for

[KenA]

Wow!!! Wednesday was my 3 year mark and I didn't even realize it Things have continued to get better and better!! Some days WD seems it was all just a bad dream!! For those of you still going through it, keep hanging in there!! It does get better I promise!!! 2 years ago I thought I was going to be the one rare exception and never heal, but here I am today to tell you that we all heal!! Given enough time you will heal as well!! Never ever give up! No matter what WD has to throw your way, never ever give up!! It's worth it I promise!!!

 

Ken

[Moonpie]

Congratulations!  You are an inspiration!!  Your positive attitude is amazing!