Memphisto: It started with mirtazapine, then escitalopram was added - up and down in dose led to severe withdrawal symptoms

[Memphisto]

Hello all,

 

after reading on and off SA for over a year, I wanted to start my introduction today and share with you. I made many mistakes in tapering at the beginning of my drug history, as I now know. I would like to add that I am not from the English-speaking world and unfortunately I don't speak it perfectly. Therefore I have to rely on a translator. Therefore, please excuse any incomprehensibility. 

 

My journey began in early March 2020, when I first followed the Corona pandemic in China via the Internet. When it then reached Europe with Italy and a little later my country Germany, I had more and more the feeling to lose control. I slept worse and worse and woke up earlier and earlier with a feeling of fear. At first it was the fear of the Corona virus. But that quickly changed to a fear of insomnia. At some point I could not go on like this. I went to the doctor and explained my situation. He simply prescribed me 15 mg of mirtazpin without any explanation. 

So I took my first Mirtzapine that evening and was finally able to sleep again. I thought everything was over and wanted to stop the Mirtazpin after only a few days. So I tapered down to half a tablet. But after just a few days, the anxiety and insomnia returned. The anxiety was no longer directed at my actual Corona issue, but it was an anxiety that felt like something more. I cannot describe it. So I talked to my doctor again. He said I should take mirtazpin unchanged at 15 mg for one month. Then we will see. So I went back to 15 mg of mirtazapine and all was well again. Then after a month, I thought I could finally taper Mirtazpin. So I tapered back to half a tablet. But after just a few days, I started to feel indescribable anxiety and panic again. I had no appetite anymore and totally lost my zest for life. I auditioned again with my doctor. He said I was probably depressed. So he prescribed me an additional 10 mg of Escitalopram. Initially, I was to increase the dose of mirtazapine to 15 mg again. After a few days I felt better and had about 6 weeks without any symptoms. 

By now it was June and again I thought, I can now taper off mirtazapine. I was still taking the escitalopram. So I tapered Mirtazapine to 7.5 mg. After two weeks, the familiar symptoms returned and became more and more severe. I was desperate and went back to the doctor. This time he was also at a loss. I already suspected that it always had to be the fault of tapering the mirtazapine. But my doctor said that it could not be. He did say, however, that I probably couldn't tolerate the escitalopram. I should taper it in 2 weeks and then switch to venlafaxine until I get an appointment with a psychiatrist. I did not fill the prescription for the venlafaxine. I went back on the mirtazapine to 15 mg and at the same time I tapered escitalopram to 5 mg. That was July 16, 2020 I was better for a few days at first. But after about two weeks, it became increasingly unstable. I further tapered Escitalopram in early August 2020. Unfortunately, however, I was quite inaccurate in doing so. I dissolved half a 10 mg tablet of Escitalopram in a glass of water and took two-thirds of it for a few days, then half, and again a third a few days later. A very big mistake as I know today. 

 

Then, in mid-August, I began dissolving 10 mg of escitalopram in 100 ml of water. I now tapered to 1.5 mg escitalopram and always kept the dose like this for three to four weeks. I really thought I could taper Escitalopram quickly since I hadn't been taking it that long. But I was wrong. 

By the end of February 2021, I probably went to 0.95 mg escitalopram too quickly. Then came the crash. By now I was waking up every day in anxiety and panic, could hardly eat anything, and was always very thirsty. In addition, stomach and intestinal problems. However, there were also days when I felt better and had almost no symptoms. That was probably the well-known wave and window pattern. Unfortunately, it was so bad in February that I let my doctor persuade me again. He prescribed Opipramol, a sedative antidepressant that is only approved in Europe. It actually made me feel better at first. At the same time, I decided to significantly slow down the tapering of Escitalopram.  

 

I kept the dose of escitalopram from now on for about 12 weeks and tapered again. 

Today I am at 0.80 mg escitalopram. Looking back over the last few months, I think the windows have gotten a little bigger. There are sometimes several days in a row when I have no or almost no symptoms. The bad days have become a little less frequent, but still just as awful. I still wake up then with anxiety and panic, can barely eat until noon. Sometimes it is better by noon, but sometimes a second wave comes in the afternoon. In the evening it is almost always good again. 

 

I last tapered escitalopram on August 01, 2021. Since then I have started tapering Opipramol in the afternoon. I take 3 x 50 mg Opipramol and wanted to get rid of at least the third tablet. After that I would like to continue with the Escitalopram. 

I know that it is better to keep tapering simple. But I was hoping in the high dose range to maybe taper Opipramol a bit more simply. I will not be tapering two ADs at the same time though. 

 

I would like to exchange ideas with you. For about four days I have again a window in which I wake up without major anxiety. 

 

That was my introduction. Please excuse that it is a bit unstructured. 

 

I wish us all healing and the longest window days possible. 

 

Memphisto

 

 

 

[Memphisto]

Hello again, 

I would like to add that I do not take any supplements. I had a try with magnesium citrate and reacted to it an hour later with a severe panic anxiety attack. 

Even though I just had a few good days, I know it will get worse again. I currently have at least one or two days every week where I feel really bad. 

The bad days usually start when I wake up with severe anxiety. The anxiety then stays until about noon, then gets weaker. Sometimes the anxiety comes back in the afternoon for a few hours. On such days I can hardly eat anything. I always have a lot of thirst and stomach and intestinal problems. On such days I am consistently distressed and negative thoughts circle around my future. It feels like it will never end. I also always become very taciturn then and can barely talk. 

Some days only a few anxiety spikes come through for a few seconds or minutes. In between there are days when I have no symptoms at all. I hope this is a good sign. 

 

[arbor]

Hello @Memphisto

Welcome to SA.

I'm sorry to hear that you are having these problems with adverse reactions and withdrawal effects.  As you can read on this site, you are not alone.  They are truly challenging.  It's good that you are going in the direction of stabilizing a bit, before continuing your tapering plan.

 

To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, dates, doses, and discontinuations & reinstatements. Just drugs, dates and dosages in a vertical list format.

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

Here are a couple of links to help you co-ordinate with your doctor.  The second one I recommend sharing with your doctor.  It is recently published by our founder, Alto:

How to talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

What I have learnt from helping thousands of ... - PubMed

 

Perhaps you have already seen these links.  

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?  (The general philosophy of gradual tapering)

Keep it Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

These links can be useful for dealing with the symptoms that come up"

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

What is Happening in Your Brain

 

This is your Introduction site where you can ask questions, report your progress, and connect with other members.

I'm glad you've found us. 

Arbor

[Memphisto]

Hello @arbor 

 

thanks for the welcome and the linked resources. I have already read a few and read them every now and them.

 

I am very grateful that SA exists and also the german forum. It was only through the clarfication here that I realized what was wrong with me.

 

At the moment I am fine, until now today even pretty normal. I am also grateful for that. I also know that many members have been hit harder than me. Still, it's always hard some days when anxiety and loss of appetite strike back again. It is then very hard for me not lose the hope. I always mantra myself that tomorrow will be a better day.

 

On the withdrawal days, I always feel like I'm doing something wrong when tapering. But I read here that you should not change anything especially on the bad days. 

I never thought it would take this long to stabilize. And I'm still a long way from being really stabile, too. Nevertheless, I would say today that it it has gotten better in the last 6 months. The good days are often quite symptom-free.

 

I have one question at this point. It is possible to stabilize so far with 3 Das and then slowly taper? I am always a little afraid that some of my morning anxiety may also be a side effect of the mirtazapine. I may have also lit on fire last year when I was always switching between 15 mg and 7.5 mg. 

[arbor]

Hi @Memphisto

 

Yes, I agree--the morning's can be difficult.  I'm not sure what you mean in your question above.  Forgive me, could you clarify, 

6 hours ago, Memphisto said:

It is possible to stabilize so far with 3 Das and then slowly taper?

I'm not sure what "3 Das" refers to.

 

Best wishes to you,

Arbor

[Memphisto]

2 hours ago, arbor said:

Hi @Memphisto

 

Ich bin mir nicht sicher, worauf sich "3 Das" bezieht.

 

Beste Grüße an dich,

Laube

Hi @Laube, 

 

Sorry, the spell checker on my smartphone took the German word here. I meant to say 3 Ads (antidepressants). 

 

I have a fear that my waves will keep coming back because I am still on 3 ADs. 
The Escitalopram was prescribed to me because my doctor did not recognize the withdrawal symptoms of the Mirtazapine. Later I had Escitalopram too fast from 10 mg to 1.5 mg in only 3 to 4 weeks. That was in August 2020. Since then it did not become stable, probably because I also continued tapering after that. 

 

Is my signature okay like that? 

 

[Memphisto]

Ein kurzes Update für heute...es ist jetzt fast 20 Uhr hier.

 

Der Tag verlief ohne nennenswerte Probleme. Am Nachmittag gegen 15 Uhr hatte ich kurz das Gefühl, wieder eine Panik- oder Angstattacke zu bekommen. Das Gefühl war unterschwellig und verschwand nach ein paar Minuten. Es geschah, als ich Auto fuhr und ein interessantes Hörbuch hörte. Wie aus dem Nichts, als ob ein Schalter umgelegt würde, wurde ich plötzlich etwas nervös und hatte das oben beschriebene Gefühl, dass es jeden Moment wieder losgehen könnte. Zum Glück ist es nicht passiert und mir ging es bis jetzt ganz gut. An einem anderen Tag ist die Heilung fortgeschritten. 

 

[arbor]

Dear @Memphisto,

 

1 hour ago, Memphisto said:

An einem anderen Tag ist die Heilung fortgeschritten.

This is good news.  I wish I spoke German.  Using English will help others to share your questions.

Right now i suggest you let your system stabilize before continuing any tapers.  Let me know if you would like more experienced advice from moderators who know more about tapering multi-drugs, and i will bring your questions to their attentions.

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

[Memphisto]

7 minutes ago, arbor said:

Dear @Memphisto,

 

This is good news.  I wish I spoke German.  Using English will help others to share your questions.

Right now i suggest you let your system stabilize before continuing any tapers.  Let me know if you would like more experienced advice from moderators who know more about tapering multi-drugs, and i will bring your questions to their attentions.

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

I'm sorry. I used a translator and then copied the wrong (German) text here. My mistake, I was not completely with the thing. I'll do my best to write in English in the future so that everyone can read it. 

 

A quick update for today...it's almost 8pm here now.

The day went without any problems worth mentioning. In the afternoon around 3pm, I briefly felt like I was having another panic or anxiety attack. The feeling was subliminal and disappeared after a few minutes. It happened when I was driving and listening to an interesting audio book. Out of nowhere, as if a switch was flipped, I suddenly got a little nervous and had the feeling described above that it could start again any minute. Fortunately, it didn't happen and I was doing quite well so far. Another day the healing has progressed. 

 

What I wanted to ask...is it possible to stabilize on 3 ADs at some point so that I can taper? 

[street129]

@arbor

HI ITS NICE TO MEET YOU. 

[Memphisto]

Hi all,

 

I am asking how long my Escitalopram dissolved in water remains stable. How long can I use it?

 

I dissolve 10 mg Escitalopram in 100 ml water and take 8 ml daily. Does anyone know how many days it is stable? I keep the solution in the refrigerator. 

[ChessieCat]

For most homemade liquids it is usually suggested to keep it no longer 3 days, covered and refrigerated.

 

If it dissolves fairly quickly you could make it on the first day and then take it for 3 more days, so you would get 4 doses.

 

how-to-make-a-liquid-from-tablets-or-capsules

 

tips-for-tapering-off-escitalopram-lexapro

[Memphisto]

Hello @ChessieCat

 

thank you for your clarfication. Then I should reconsider my method. I am currently using my DIY solution for a week. Maybe I can split the Escitalopram 10 mg tablet in half and then dissolve it individually. 

 

I'm under little pressure to take Escitalopram because my doctor no longer wants to prescribe it. He says 0.80 mg has no therapeutic effect and I can just leave it out.

[ChessieCat]

Please do not tag staff for general things.  It is not necessary.  Staff regularly check the new posts made by members in their Introduction topics.  Please do not tag me again in the future for any reason.  Thank you.

 

10 hours ago, Memphisto said:

I'm under little pressure to take Escitalopram because my doctor no longer wants to prescribe it. He says 0.80 mg has no therapeutic effect and I can just leave it out.

 

You do not need to tell your doctor that you are reducing your dose.  There are many members of SA whose doctors think they are taking a standard dose.

 

how-to-talk-to-a-doctor-about-tapering-and-withdrawal-what-to-expect

 

Many members find that the lower their dose gets the slower they need to go, reducing less and/or holding for longer.  See:

 

Why taper paper: dose-occupancy curves

 

10 hours ago, Memphisto said:

Maybe I can split the Escitalopram 10 mg tablet in half and then dissolve it individually. 

 

If the doctor already knows that you are taking a low dose of escitalopram then it would be better and easier to get 5mg tablets and be more accurate.

 

10 hours ago, Memphisto said:

I am currently using my DIY solution for a week.

 

I've been keeping mine for 2 weeks (made with tap water) and it seems okay and I think there have been times I've done 3 weeks.  How long you keep and use a homemade liquid is something that you need to decide for yourself.  The 3 days is a recommendation.  If you decide to keep it for longer than 3 days keep note of your symptoms and if you notice a progressive worsening of symptoms then it might be from the homemade liquid and it would be a good idea to reduce the keeping time.

 

[Memphisto]

Hello ChessiCat, 

 

excuse me for asking. What exactly is the tag? Is it the heart button under the post or the salutation with @membername? I am still a bit unsure with the operation of this forum.

 

I think you are right. My doctor knows that I taper Escitalopram. I told her I was taking 0.80 mg. She actually wants me to stop because she thinks it is no longer effective. However, I was able to persuade her to prescribe me the smallest package of Escitalopram 10 mg.  I hope she will continue it.

 

I will discuss the idea of switching to 5 mg tablets at my next appointment.

 

I have currently been on the dose since August 1. I unfortunately still have one or two days a week where I wake up with anxiety and it stays throught the das. The other days are mostly good to normal. Does it make sense to keep the Escitalopram dose any longer? I'm a little afraid that I won't better because of the other meds.

[ChessieCat]

19 minutes ago, Memphisto said:

excuse me for asking. What exactly is the tag? Is it the heart button under the post or the salutation with @membername? I am still a bit unsure with the operation of this forum.

 

There are two different types of tag.  There is one that is underneath the topic title which can be created by members when they start their topic or afterwards the staff might add a tag.  If you see a tag at the top of a topic you can click on it and it will list topics with the same tag.  There are no tags on your topic.  Here is a topic which has two tags so you can see what I am talking about:  cheeky

 

The other tag is the @membername    This is a fairly new thing for the forum and we have found that some members tag the staff for unimportant things.

 

The heart at the bottom of a post is the "like" button.

 

At the top right of a topic you can click on the follow button and see who is following your topic.  Some members choose to do this anonymously.

 

I will respond to your other question in a new post.

 

[ChessieCat]

 

Please read this information first:

 

  

On 5/27/2011 at 12:16 PM, Altostrata said:

Special considerations
A significant characteristic of Lexapro is that milligram for milligram, it is much stronger than other SSRIs. Chemically, Lexapro is a variation of Celexa; the molecule was re-engineered to be patentable as Celexa's patent was about to expire. The streamlined molecule is a more potent SSRI, 2 to 4 times stronger than others. (Wikipedia has a good explanation of this at https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Escitalopram.)

However, many doctors are unaware that escitalopram is stronger than other SSRIs and dose it as though it were the same strength. Although the so-called usual starting dose of escitalopram, 10mg, is equivalent to 20mg-30mg or more of, for example, paroxetine (Paxil), your doctor may have moved you to an even higher dose. If you are taking 20mg of escitalopram, you are taking a hefty dose of an SSRI.

If you are taking 5mg of Lexapro, it's not tiny, it's equivalent to 10-20mg Paxil or Celexa.

Consequently, when you taper off escitalopram, you should be careful to decrease by small amounts, as each drop is magnified by escitalopram's extra potency. If you find withdrawal symptoms from a 10% decrease to be too difficult, after 3-4 weeks decrease by a smaller amount.

 

 

Here is a discussion topic about what dose to stop at.

 

when-to-end-the-taper-and-jump-to-zero

 

Please note that the last dose is very individual.  It's important to listen to your body and symptoms.  It's better to hold for longer than to reduce too soon or by too much.

 

For me personally I am going down to 0.0025mg Pristiq.  My starting dose was 100mg (please see the quote above about escitalopram being a very strong drug).  Earlier this year I decided to speed up my taper.  See:  My full tapering program

 

Like you, I am creating a liquid which means that I can get very small doses.

 

BrassMonkey went down to a very low dose of Paxil before he stopped.

[Memphisto]

Many thanks for your response. I think I'll hold on for a few more weeks and watch my symptoms before tapering off escitalopram.

 

As I said, I am now mostly fine and the waves of fear no longer strike every day. I have to maintain my everyday skills for family and work.

 

When reading your information on escitalopram potency, I now think that I am still suffering from the effects of my too rapid taper over the past year. Then there are the many dose changes with mirtazapine.

 

Does waking up in the morning in fear with loss of appetite and a lot of thirst belong to the withdrawal syndrome or can it also be a side effect? Looking back, I would say that it doesn't happen quite as often as it did 6 months ago. But when it does happen, it's still pretty agonizing.

 

[Memphisto]

Hello all,

I have a problem with my disposable syringe. After first use and cleaning with water and detergent, the syringes become very dull. I then need a lot of force to use the syringe. The drawing up and pressing is then quite difficult. It then takes several weeks for the syringes to become easier to use again. Is it the syringes, should I buy others or would syringes made of glass perhaps better?

[Memphisto]

Hello all,

 

I would like to write a short update today. I am now in week 12 since the last taper on the Escitalopram and week 6 since tapering the Opipramol. The last two or three weeks have been pretty good. I've only had three or four days so far where I've woken up in the morning with severe anxiety and I haven't had an appetite until noon. On the other days, the anxiety suddenly appears for a few minutes in a weakened form. Then there are also days like yesterday, when I feel very well all day long and in the evening I suddenly become nervous and thin-skinned and I have the feeling that it's about to start again. Yesterday the "weaker" anxiety lasted for 3 hours. Around 8pm it disappeared again and I was fine again. 

 

I don't plan on tapering off escitalopram in the short term. I still want to stabilize a bit. For that, I will taper from 125 mg to 115 mg (50-15-50) on the Opipramol. I hope it will still work reasonably smoothly due to the high dose. 

 

Even though I'm doing pretty well right now. It's always hard to bear when things suddenly get shaky again. Sometimes I think it's even harder for me to accept when I suddenly feel a relapse again after a few very good days. 

 

I still read daily here on SA. There is so much information, suggestions and reports here that support me on my journey and give me peace of mind on worse days. I am really grateful to have found this site and all the people. I hope for all of you that you receive healing and things get better. 

 

warmest greetings
Memphisto

 

[Memphisto]

hello to all who stop by here,

 

I wanted to give a short update today. last week was pretty good, I hardly had a night from which I woke up with anxiety. I had a few afternoons with shorter anxiety spikes that didn't even last a minute. 

 

Unfortunately it turned around a bit this weekend. Yesterday I woke up with mild anxiety in the morning. Afterwards, I felt like my zest for life was significantly dampened throughout the morning. It got better in the afternoon and in the evening I felt very good again. This morning I woke up again with palpitations and moderate anxiety. I was able to stay in bed for a while, but I could not fall asleep. The anxiety then fortunately weakened after I got up and I was able to have breakfast almost normally. I later went for a walk in the forest for an hour and felt better and better. 

I hope very much that no new wave will announce itself now. The last weeks were really very good. Because even though the anxiety is weaker these days, it still feels bad when it hits me out of the blue. 

 

I was wondering if these morning cortisol spikes with anxiety are withdrawal or could also be a side effect of the mirtazapine. Maybe I had kindled the mirtazapine last year when I was dosing up and down on it. 
Does anyone have some thoughts on this? 

 

[Memphisto]

Today, unfortunately, I have to yammer a bit. I wake up for days again with anxiety. Yesterday we had a small celebration from the company. The day was not really good overall, although I had a lot of distractions. The morning anxiety accompanied me in waves throughout the day. This morning my day starts again with this horrible feeling of anxiety in my stomach and chest. 
I looked in my records and found that the last really bad day I had was September 28. I last tapered off the escitalopram 14 weeks ago by 0.05 mg to 0.80 mg. The last taper I did was on the opipramol 12 days ago. I tapered off from 125 mg to 115 mg. I don't know if my wave is coming from that now. 

Can these morning cortisol surges with anxiety also be a side effect of a medication or does this only happen in withdrawal? I'm thinking maybe I can't tolerate the mirtazapine anymore. 

 

[ChessieCat]

2 hours ago, Memphisto said:

morning cortisol surges with anxiety

 

early-morning-waking-managing-the-morning-cortisol-spike

 

[Memphisto]

19 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

 

early-morning-waking-managing-the-morning-cortisol-spike

 

hello ChessiCat, Many thanks for your response. I've already read the post and I still don't know whether it's just withdrawal or maybe a side effect of mirtazapine. Could it be that I lit the mirtazapine last year and I can no longer tolerate the 15 mg or is it due to the withdrawal of the escitalopram?

 

The morning fear was almost gone for a few weeks and has suddenly been tormenting me for days again. For the past few months, I've only had the fear of waking up one or two days a week. now I have the feeling it is increasing day by day.

[Memphisto]

Sorry to ask again.

 

Could it be the mirtazapine that is causing my morning cortisol surges with anxiety that sometimes lasts into the afternoon. Could I have destabilized myself too much over the last year with all the ups and downs on the mirtazapine at 15 and 7.5 mg that I no longer tolerate the mirtazapine well? 

 

Or is it withdrawal from escitalopram? Or maybe both? 

 

I ask because I am thinking about possibly tapering on mirtazapine. I know it's not good to taper off multiple medications at the same time. I would then stop tapering the others.

[Memphisto]

Another horrible morning. Now I'm sitting in the office and this excruciating fear paralyzes me. I can't eat anything and feel like I have to do something.

 

Yesterday the feeling of fear kept from waking up to about 4pm. Then it finally got a little easier and in the evening I felt better. I went to sleep around 10:30 p.m. This morning I woke up at 6:20 am with a strong palpitation and a feeling of fear in my stomach.

 

This wave still seems to be increasing. I lose hope that, as in the months before, it would not last more than two days. It's been getting worse every day since Monday.

 

Yesterday it rained all day and I couldn't go out into nature. That helps a little sometimes. I do not know what to do. Hold on and hope that tomorrow will be better? I am more and more afraid that I will no longer tolerate mirtazapine. 

 

what should I do?

 

 

 

[siderale]

Hello, Memphisto, how are you doing? I hope your bad wave subsided or at least eased off a bit. I could not advise you regarding dosage and taper but I hope you feel more stable soon.

[Memphisto]

Hello siderale,

 

thank you for your lines. My wave this past week has thankfully lightened up over the weekend. This week I am mostly fine. Yesterday I had another bad day where I woke up with horrible anxiety and the anxiety lasted until about 5pm. Then it finally got easier. And today I woke up without anxiety again, a great feeling. 

 

Meanwhile, I think the wave might be triggered by the last taper of opipramol. The time frame fits, the wave started after 10 to 11 days. The last taper was 10 mg from 125 to 115 mg of opipramol.

 

 

[Memphisto]

I'll come back for a little update. 

 

This week I have been mostly well. Today is Saturday and I woke up earlier than planned again. I played video games with a couple of friends late into the night last night. It got to be 2:00 when I finally got to bed. I was able to fall asleep very well, but after 5 hours the night was over. When I woke up, the fear slowly rose up in me again. I did not stay lying down for long and tortured myself out of bed and went into the forest for 45 min. I do not need to tell you that I also had no appetite. With a lot of water I just ate two pancakes. Now it's 12 o'clock and the fear has almost dissipated. I really hope that the rest of the day will be better. 

 

I had a similar day to today three days ago, on Wednesday. After waking up, the anxiety slowly rose. It's kind of different than usual when the anxiety is massive right away. I don't know if it's better now when the anxiety rises slowly. 

 

I always wonder if this is my waves and windows pattern. I'm fine for a few days and the anxiety isn't there and then suddenly one morning I wake up and it's back. 

 

Tomorrow ends the 16th week since I tapered off the escitalopram from 0.85 mg to 0.80 mg. I am not currently planning on tapering the escitalopram any further. Before tapering it further, I would like to taper off the afternoon dose of the opipramol. I am now at 15 of 50 mg for the afternoon dose. I was originally prescribed the opipramol for 3 times 50 mg daily by my doctor. 

 

I guess I should be thankful that I don't have to suffer every day. I know many here are much, much worse off than I am and I am very sorry for that. On my bad days I also experience the suffering of withdrawal. Then I always think that maybe my situation is too complicated by the three ADs to heal completely. This then makes me very worried. All I can do is go as slowly as possible one step at a time. But it is hard for me when fear paralyzes and makes life hell. 

 

I wish all of you here continued healing, may our withdrawal symptoms finally go away.

 

 

 

[Memphisto]

I'll be back for another update.

 

I have had improvements over the past 5 months. There were many days in a row when I felt little or no anxiety. I started reducing opipramol a little each week at the beginning of the year. My plan is to finish the afternoon dose. My starting dose of Opipramol is 3 x 50 mg, i.e. 150 mg. Today I'm at 101.25 mg. Unfortunately, I've been noticing an increase in anxiety days for the past 4 or 5 weeks. In January and February I usually only had one or two very bad days with a lot of anxiety. For 4 or 5 weeks these very bad days have increased again. I don't know if it's because I'm pushing too hard while tapering off the opipramol or if it's still my long term escitalopram withdrawal or just my wrecked nervous system. I guess I should take a break and hold, but first the opipramol needs to be down to 100mg.

 

I've read a lot of success stories lately, especially from Judith and KenA. There is hope that early morning cortisol anxiety will one day fade away. I really hope so.

 

I keep asking myself if this cortisol anxiety can go away as long as I'm still taking mirtazapine and escitalopram, or if those two need to be eliminated from my body first. Any experiences on this? Can waking up anxiety about cortisol also go away with mirtazapine or escitalopram?

 

Edited August 10, 2022 by ChessieCat
removed black bar

[ChessieCat]

  

33 minutes ago, Memphisto said:

It's really hard to be slow and patient.

 

From my own experience it is definitely worth it.  Even though it can be frustrating at times.  It took me 6 years to get off my Pristiq but I've now been off successfully for almost 9 months after taking an AD for 25+ years.

[Chompoo]

@Memphisto how are you doing now? I hope your taper is going well?

[Memphisto]

@Chompoo

 

Thank you so much for stopping by and checking up on me. 

I am making fairly slow but steady progress with my taper. I am currently trimming similar to the Brassmpnkey slider on the Mirtazapine. I have been getting larger windows regularly for over six months and the waves are less bad than before. The bad cortisol when I wake up in the morning has largely disappeared and the anxiety spikes have also disappeared quickly. I think my anxiety has subsided to the point where I now perceive it more as mild anhedonia. I am soon to be marking the third year after my accident with Escitalopram and the ups and downs on Mirtazapine. It seems that I am finally recovering from it and healing is progressing noticeably. 

 

I need to update and probably recreate my signature. 

Mirtazapine 12.93 mg
Escitalopram 0.66 mg
Opipramol 100 mg

 

I had read your introduction and was concerned that you were doing so poorly after one dose of mirtazapine and that you also seemed to be recovering slowly from it. I am so sorry you are going through this. But I really believe that you will eventually get back to normal. It's not going to be like this forever. 

 

Hang in there 

 

Greetings from Germany

Memphisto

[Chompoo]

@Memphisto I am so happy for you that you are recovering well! It's great so many symptoms have disappeared or subsided to a low level and you are getting longer windows. Time is indeed a great healer and I am so glad the brassmonkey slide has worked for you. 

Really appreciate your support. Most people outside of SA think I'm crazy when I tell them that I came down with so many symptoms after ONE pill. Even some SA members are amazed. It has been therapeutic for me to talk to people who's undergoing the same windows and waves and understand the struggles I have.

I hope the rest of your taper will be uneventful. Please take care and let us know how you're doing along the way!