cassea: coming off of Zoloft

[cassea]

Hi everyone! I am really excited to join this forum and feel great to have community, especially during an isolating pandemic.

 

So here is some quick background. I was put on 50 mg Zoloft in August 2021. 2 weeks in, I immediately went down to 25mg because 50mg felt too strong. I decided to start slowly tapering off mid November 2021. I have been offically off of it since early January 2022. I was put on it to deal with panic attacks and acute ptsd symptoms. I know folks might say I was not on it for a long period of time, but this short period of time has really had an impact on me.

 

As I am 2 weeks off of it completely, I have been experiencing some uncomfortable moments, like extreme racing thoughts, high levels of irritability/agitation, and basically having these emotions/thoughts arise that have been completely surpressed since coming off of meds. Some moments I feel like how I was before the medication and I am like please tell me I am not relapsing.

 

The part that also feels worse is my doctor really denies these experiences being attributed to using the medication. And I feel like after being on medication for 6 months, I definetely feel like it impacted my nervous system and brain.

 

I guess I am looking for some advice/support/words of encouragement. I have a strong feeling in my heart that I will heal and these symptoms/moments of discomfort will pass. But I guess I am also really worried I am relapsing and I really don't wanna be back on anti-depressants. It really supressed a lot of my emotions and personality - I stop feeling like myself and just like a shell.

[Shep]

Hi, Cassea.

 

Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants. Unfortunately, it only takes about a month to become dependent on an SSRI, so you likely did develop a dependency. Here is some information on withdrawal to get you started: 

 

How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain

 

Healing from antidepressants. Patterns of recovery video (4 minutes)

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

On 1/15/2022 at 3:05 PM, cassea said:

I was put on 50 mg Zoloft in August 2021. 2 weeks in, I immediately went down to 25mg because 50mg felt too strong. I decided to start slowly tapering off mid November 2021. I have been offically off of it since early January 2022.

 

Please let us know more about how you tapered and what dose you stopped at. This is important because you'll likely benefit from a reinstatement, but how much you'll want to reinstate depends on your taper and the dose you stopped at. Please see:

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

Tips for tapering off sertraline (Zoloft)

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Is Zoloft the only psychiatric drug you've ever taken? 

 

Please add a signature.  Include drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in the last 12-24 months. Also include supplements. This will help us give you the most accurate advice we can. 

• Any drugs and supplements prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
• This is a direct link to your signature:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

As you provide more information, we can better guide you in reinstating and provide other information, as well. Please continue to use this thread to document your taper and recovery and to ask questions. 

[cassea]

Hi Shep,

 

Thanks so much for your response and advice. To answer your questions:

 

1) Tapering Zoloft: I started coming off early November 2021, where I started cutting down by maybe 3-5 mg every two weeks. Honestly, the most common withdrawal symptom was irritability and derealization/depersonalization within the past 2 months. I stopped at maybe 3 mg before coming off completely in early January 2022. Since then, I have had stronger withdrawal symptoms that makes me feel like I am relapsing. I spoke to my doctor, who told me the medication was not impacting me anymore since it was such a small dose, but my lived experiences are showing otherwise. I am not going to lie - I am nervous about reinstating because I had such a negative experience with Zoloft. 

 

2) I took Lexapro in 2019 (I don't remember the dosage, but I believe maybe I was on the lowest one) for a a few weeks, so my withdrawal symptoms did not feel as a intense nor did tapering last as long

[Shep]

12 hours ago, cassea said:

I am not going to lie - I am nervous about reinstating because I had such a negative experience with Zoloft. 

 

 

Did you have an adverse reaction? If so, please let us know what it was and if it was worse than what you're dealing with now. Adverse reactions tend to be dose-specific (the higher the dose, the more likely an adverse reaction), so it doesn't mean you necessarily can't or shouldn't reinstate. We just need some more information about your experience with this drug. 

 

 

12 hours ago, cassea said:

I took Lexapro in 2019 (I don't remember the dosage, but I believe maybe I was on the lowest one) for a a few weeks, so my withdrawal symptoms did not feel as a intense nor did tapering last as long

 

Repeated exposure to psychiatric drugs can cause a kindling effect, which is trauma to the nervous system. So that may be why this experience is more pronounced.

 

As we know more about your experience, we can help you decide on reinstating and the amount. While the thought of going back on a drug that causes harm is scary, it may help to understand this in terms of dependency -- reinstating a small amount of the the drug isn't to cause more harm to your nervous system but to give it a cushion. For many people, the best thing you can do after a drug was recently pulled out too quickly is to reinstate a small amount back in to calm things down. Then you stabilize and start a much slower taper. 

 

Please set up your drug signature (instructions are in my first post). This helps the staff so we don't have to re-read your entire thread to know where you're at with your drug history and taper. Thank you. 

[cassea]

I had an adverse reaction with the higher dose of 50 mg zoloft. I felt really irritable and increased depression to the point of not leaving my bed. I also had intense brain termors and involuntary movement. My DPDR was so strong - I just felt like I was not even here. I think what I am experiencing now feels more unsettling because I feel more emotionally unstable and it just feels more unpredictable. Like it is coming in waves of random anixety and feelings of being overwhelmed. I am assuming (based on your first reply) this how coming off the meds feel like. 

 

Today (mid January 2022) I did reinstate about 1 mg of zoloft. It did alleviate some of the symptoms/discomfort I have been feeling, but I am still feeling like my nervous system and anixety are a little bit all over the place.

 

And got it - signature updated!

[Shep]

12 hours ago, cassea said:

Today (mid January 2022) I did reinstate about 1 mg of zoloft. It did alleviate some of the symptoms/discomfort I have been feeling, but I am still feeling like my nervous system and anixety are a little bit all over the place.

 

Thanks for adding your signature. Getting a bit of relief this quickly is a sign that you'e dealing with dependency. This is a good sign. Please note it takes about 4 days for your nervous system to register the reinstatement and it can take a few weeks for your brain/body to adjust and settle down from all of the changes. 

 

Please continue to let us know how you're feeling. 

[cassea]

Last night was really bad - I had akathisia I believe and it felt really unbearable and I kept waking up.

 

Also I have a question - I am not sure how to accurately measure out the medication (I take it in pill form) and I am cutting it up in small pieces. I just wanna sure this time around, I am tapering with consistent dosages. I see people using digital scales, but I am not sure which type of scale to buy for the pill?

 

Also once I stablize on the current reinstatement (in a few weeks), then do I start tapering off that dosage?

[PerAsperaAdAstra]

Hi @cassea! A lot of people on this forum use the Gemini 20 scale. I use it too, and it does a pretty good job. 

 

When you stabilize you can work your way down from the current dose. It's recommended to do no more than 10% each month based on the last dosage. You can read up on the following page if you'd like:

 

[cassea]

So I have been taking the medication for about a week now and I have been getting parnoid thoughts (which is something I experienced heavily when I first started the meds)

 

My doctor constantly tells me that none of this has to do with the medications, but I know myself well enough to know it is.

 

Just posting to see if this is a common experience.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

11 minutes ago, cassea said:

So I have been taking the medication for about a week now and I have been getting parnoid thoughts (which is something I experienced heavily when I first started the meds)

 

My doctor constantly tells me that none of this has to do with the medications, but I know myself well enough to know it is.

 

Just posting to see if this is a common experience.

It has to do with the medication. I had intrusive , paranoid thoughts, 4 days after starting 25mg Zoloft. Most doctors are clueless about the side effects of these drugs

[Shep]

On 1/27/2022 at 3:33 PM, cassea said:

So I have been taking the medication for about a week now and I have been getting parnoid thoughts (which is something I experienced heavily when I first started the meds)

 

 

How much did you reinstate? Did any other symptoms get better or worse with the reinstatement? 

[cassea]

3 hours ago, Shep said:

 

How much did you reinstate? Did any other symptoms get better or worse with the reinstatement? 

 

I want to say about 1mg (I am still waiting on like my scale and all those items to arrive). I notice the racing thoughts going away a little. A lot of panic sometimes, definetely waking up with it. But I notice it coming in like "waves" and having some "windows." Sometimes I feel like I am not sure when I am going to stablize because it feels like the withdrawal is all over the place and different day to day, but I guess I just have to give it time.

[Shep]

@casseaYes, it does take time to stabilize, you're correct about that. It takes about 4 days for the nervous system to register the reinstatement and it can take a few weeks to adjust. If you're now getting some "windows" and this is a new experience, than it sounds like reinstating was a good choice. 

 

You'll want to look for an overall trend of improvement over time. The scale will definitely help make sure you're getting an even amount of the drug in your system every day. 

[cassea]

Okay so update:  After receiving my scale, I realize I have been taking about 0.011g (which i updated on the signature) and even though it seems small, reinstating such a small amount itself has alleviated my symptoms.

 

I will be sure to be tracking my symptoms each day through a journal or something!

 

Thanks for your help!!

 

 

[Shep]

Thanks for the update. Very glad to read the reinstatement is helping. 

[cassea]

Hey! So these past couple of days have been really hard. My mind seems to be all over the place and really restless. And it’s really hard for me to even distract myself. My withdrawal symptoms seem to be all over the place. Is this common during stabilization of reinstatement?

[Shep]

On 2/13/2022 at 9:03 PM, cassea said:

Hey! So these past couple of days have been really hard. My mind seems to be all over the place and really restless. And it’s really hard for me to even distract myself. My withdrawal symptoms seem to be all over the place. Is this common during stabilization of reinstatement?

 

Yes, unfortunately, the reinstatement can be a bit messy until your mind / body adapts.

 

How are you feeling now? 

[cassea]

I’ve been doing better! Still have waves that are uncomfortable and overwhelming, but they are becoming like smaller. I’ve been on the same amount I reinstated. I think I might start tapering next week! 
 

thanks for checking in!

[Shep]

Glad you're doing so well! Please don't start tapering too soon.

 

You may want to go with the Brassmonkey Slide. Please see:

 

The Brassmonkey Slide Method of Micro-tapering

 

Many people find this to be a more gentle way of tapering. This will allow you to test the waters with a smaller reduction the first week and see how you do. 

[cassea]

Thanks for sharing this with me. How long should I wait to start tapering?

 

I am not sure how to do the Brassmonkey Slide Method with the type of scale I have. 

 

 

[Shep]

16 hours ago, cassea said:

How long should I wait to start tapering?

 

Here is a great description of how you should be before making a reduction. Brassmonkey, another moderator, calls it "withdrawal normal":

 

WDNormal

 

17 hours ago, cassea said:

I am not sure how to do the Brassmonkey Slide Method with the type of scale I have. 

 

What type of scale do you have? 

[cassea]

4 hours ago, Shep said:

What type of scale do you have? 

I have the GEMINI 20 Portable. I am not sure how to get that level of specificity when measuring the medication on this scale. Like right now I am still on .011g and the scale does not seem to get anymore specific (like .0118g)

[Shep]

1 hour ago, cassea said:

I have the GEMINI 20 Portable. I am not sure how to get that level of specificity when measuring the medication on this scale. Like right now I am still on .011g and the scale does not seem to get anymore specific (like .0118g)

 

I'm sorry, Cassea. I didn't realize how small a dose you're on now. I believe you were aiming for about a 1 mg Zoloft reinstatement, is that correct? Do you know the milligram value of the active ingredient in the .011 gram weight that you're currently taking? 

 

Once you get so low, you're right, you may be so low that doing the Brassmonkey Slide will be difficult. By the time Brassmonkey (who came up with this method of slide tapering) got to a low amount, he wrote that he had to visually divide up the dose for the remainder of his taper:

 

On 8/14/2019 at 11:04 PM, brassmonkey said:

I reached their limit when I got to 4mgpw and had to resort to visual dividing the dose to get it small enough.  If everything is going smoothly with the taper by that time it should not cause a problem.

 

How are you feeling overall? How is your sleep? 

[cassea]

3 hours ago, Shep said:

 

I'm sorry, Cassea. I didn't realize how small a dose you're on now. I believe you were aiming for about a 1 mg Zoloft reinstatement, is that correct? Do you know the milligram value of the active ingredient in the .011 gram weight that you're currently taking? 

 

Im sorry! I just realize I am mixing up the measurements! My bad! So one tablet weighs about 0.076g and I am taking 0.011g. I am not sure if this helps.

 

I did the math and I think I am taking 3.5 mg (because the original tablet is 25mg, so I am taking about a 1/7 of the og dose). Does this make sense?

 

Honestly I might just stay on this amount until maybe mid March and see if I am ready to taper again.

 

Overall, I am okay. I sleep pretty okay. I don't wake up in the middle of the night that much. Pretty consistent. But I will say I usually have like a bad wave for about 20 mins, usually with like high anxiety and racing thoughts. But then like when that passes, its like I feel like myself. Its such a strange experience. Sometimes mornings before and after taking the medication feel the worse. But it feels like I am waking up and experiencing like the same symptoms each day. 

 

[Shep]

23 hours ago, cassea said:

I did the math and I think I am taking 3.5 mg (because the original tablet is 25mg, so I am taking about a 1/7 of the og dose). Does this make sense?

 

How are you measuring your doses - are you cutting them into 7 pieces or are you crushing up the tablet and weighing it? 

 

23 hours ago, cassea said:

Honestly I might just stay on this amount until maybe mid March and see if I am ready to taper again.

 

It really sounds like you're stabilizing, so holding for awhile is a great idea. Give yourself time to develop a solid baseline before you begin reducing. 

 

23 hours ago, cassea said:

Overall, I am okay. I sleep pretty okay. I don't wake up in the middle of the night that much. Pretty consistent. But I will say I usually have like a bad wave for about 20 mins, usually with like high anxiety and racing thoughts. But then like when that passes, its like I feel like myself. Its such a strange experience. Sometimes mornings before and after taking the medication feel the worse. But it feels like I am waking up and experiencing like the same symptoms each day. 

 

 

Really looks like the reinstatement did what it was supposed to do - tone down the withdrawal so you can function. Very good to read. 

 

Some of the morning symptoms may be due to high cortisol. Please see:

 

Early-morning waking - managing the morning cortisol spike

[cassea]

Quote

How are you measuring your doses - are you cutting them into 7 pieces or are you crushing up the tablet and weighing it? 

I've been cutting them into pieces and weighing them. I tried the crushing, but it was really hard to weigh the powder with the empty capsules. 

 

Quote

Some of the morning symptoms may be due to high cortisol.

 

Took a look at the info about high cortisol - I am not going to lie, my bed routine could be better! Definetely can limit screen hours in the evening time! I also notice eating foods with high sugars increases the cortisol!

 

Thank you Shep for being very reponsive and checking in - feels good to have community!

 

Could you possibly reference to the page about doctors who support with tapering? I am still having trouble with having my doctor agree to my tapering rate. I am afraid he will not prescribe me anymore if I am not taking the whole medication. 

[Blossom71]

Hi @cassea

Have you considered not telling your doctor that you are tapering?  As advised by ChessieCat I decided not to tell mine just incase they wanted me to go quicker/stopped prescribing.  I will be getting the prescription slightly less frequently and if they do notice I will tell them I’ve gone down to 1/2 a tablet. 

[Shep]

15 hours ago, cassea said:

Could you possibly reference to the page about doctors who support with tapering? I am still having trouble with having my doctor agree to my tapering rate. I am afraid he will not prescribe me anymore if I am not taking the whole medication. 

 

Here are a couple of resources:

 

Recommended doctors, therapists, and clinics

 

Mad in America - Provider Directory

 

1 hour ago, Blossom71 said:

Have you considered not telling your doctor that you are tapering?

 

Blossom is giving great advice here, Cassea. You don't owe your doctor the truth. Your health is far more important. Just tell your doctor you are happy with your psychiatric drug, get the prescription filled, and continue on with your taper. 

 

If you can find someone you like from the above links, that's great, but if not, don't worry - it sounds like your current doctor is more than eager to prescribe these drugs. 

[cassea]

@Blossom71. @Shep that sounds like good advice - I'll keep this in mind when I speak to my doctor again!

 

 

[cassea]

Hi! So update, I notice after taking some other supplement for nausea, I experienced a panic attack. I was wondering if there were interactions among the medication and this supplement. 
 

Also, I was wondering how a person knows if they are relapsing in their own recovery vs withdrawal from the medication.

 

I think one fear I have is if my symptoms come back from my own mental illness after completely tapering off the medications, would I be able to deal with my mental health without the medication? I was put on antidepressants for panic disorder and high levels of anxiety. I am afraid I am not going to be able to escape psychiatric medication because it is often given as the few care solutions by the health care system (even when it’s not, there are many ways to heal and take care of yourself)!

 

 

[Blossom71]

Hi @cassea

 

As there is no proof that brain chemicals were responsible for our issues in the first place I find the concept of 'relapse' hard to get my head around.

 

This may be different for you, but my issue (paralysing anxiety) were due to some pretty awful things that had happened to me, and (most crucially) my inability to read my body and mind and see that things were going downhill before it was too late.   I now firmly believe that had I done that and was more proactive and put adequate self care in place (rest, space to feel my emotions, therapy, better diet, exercise, kindness to myself etc) , I would never have landed there in the first place.  I am also incredibly sensitive, have always been this way and wasn't helped by my family who weren't a fan of showing emotions to I spend my childhood trying to keep them all in.

 

Being without meds isn't going to solve the problems I had before (the result of repressed emotions and trauma is still there), but being ON meds didn't solve them either - it just masked them to some degree.   And the meds have just delayed the learning curve of starting to deal with my emotions properly in more positive and harmless ways. 

 

Its hard to tell the difference sometimes between my intense feelings and withdrawals but I'm starting to see a pattern and recognise the subtle differences between the two.  But at the end of the day I have to deal with and heal from both those things so the HOW I deal with them is more important to me than recognising the precise cause. If that makes sense?   

[Shep]

10 hours ago, cassea said:

Hi! So update, I notice after taking some other supplement for nausea, I experienced a panic attack. I was wondering if there were interactions among the medication and this supplement. 

 

What supplement did you take? 

 

2 hours ago, Blossom71 said:

As there is no proof that brain chemicals were responsible for our issues in the first place I find the concept of 'relapse' hard to get my head around.

 

 

Very true.

 

@casseaIf you haven't already seen this thread, it's definitely worth a read:

 

Again, chemical imbalance is a myth. Stop the lies, please.

[cassea]

@Blossom71 i appreciate that perspective, as it makes me feel I have control and agency over my own healing! I agree - also language around relapse is something ingrained in my head by the health care system and I am definitely unlearning it, as it isn't the reality of what is actually happening.

 

 

 

[cassea]

I just wanted to give an update! I started taking 10% less (which I will update in my bio). However, I’ve experience some high levels of panic while outdoors. I’m honestly not sure if this is because of withdrawal or I am starting to have panic attacks come around again.

 

My psychiatrist wants me to go back on completely on the 25mg of Zoloft. Honestly, I don’t really wanna do that. Although I am still working through the panic attacks, I still feel more like myself now than I did a few months ago. I am starting to feel my emotions and present again. As a person with panic disorder and agoraphobia, this is becoming a real gray area for me.

 

I would love to hear perspectives and stories from people with similar diagnosis who found other ways to deal besides the antidepressants.

[Blossom71]

18 hours ago, cassea said:

 as it makes me feel I have control and agency over my own healing!

For me that is crucial.  I want to be in charge of my own destiny - good or bad.

 

For me, I tend to become agoraphobic when my head's not in a great place.  I guess it's kind of defence mechanism, as I feel safe at home.  It's definitely got slightly worse since the pandemic as I suppose it's been drilled into us for 2 years that we're not safe outside.   So I read it as a symptom of something else going on.   It hasn't changed as i have tapered down but it does come and go.

 

What helps for me is short walks around my neighbourhood where I don't have to interact with anyone (unless I choose to) and can stop the walk and go home when I want.   That also helps my mental health massively as I can wander where I want and there's only me and my thoughts.  It's also great way to have a nosy around the neighbourhood and see peoples gardens and make judgements about peoples weeding skills 😆

[cassea]

@Blossom71 thank you for sharing your experience!

 

update: Recently I got a refill for the same medication I’ve been taking for the past 9 months and it’s been giving me a lot of side effects I haven’t felt in a while or ever. My anxiety has been so extreme (like way different than I normally experience it). I am experiencing extreme fear, panic, being so overwhelmed and anxiety. 

 

 I also have been staying on the same amount, so I’m not sure what is happening.

 

could it be possible that it could be a different brand or something?