Dragonz: Antidepressants and Why the Bad Rap?

[dragonz]

I don't work out any more. I believe I have GAD, Social Anxiety, Dysthymia, and panic disorder. I stopped going to the gym about 6 months ago because obviously when you work out your heart rate goes up. My back is always locked in muscle tension as is my neck. Because of that, when I work out my heart rate goes up higher than normal and I'm sort of in a panic like state when leaving the gym so it takes longer for my heart rate to go down. The cardiologist I've seen before, says it's normal if you have anxiety to have that happen- that's what he was referring to as a fight or flight adrenaline response.

 

Anyway, below is a basic "history" of me:

 

1982, at at 18, went to a psychiatrist because my parents said I was irritable and moody. I was doing therapy with this psychiatrist but no drugs.

 

1986, went with a friend to see his psychiatrist and she diagnosed me with Major Depression. Prescribed Desipramine, Trilafon and Cogentin. I had no idea what these drugs were and asked her why I needed to take three drugs, she just responded saying they work together. After about three weeks, I felt alot better- this "band" around my head was gone and I just felt normal. I didn't like the side effects though of the drugs- I think the Trilafon was causing some blurred vision.

 

1988, went to the first psychiatrist I saw in 1982 and he prescribed Sinequan(Doxepin). That was fine, as it had a calming effect and I took it for about a year. Was very sedating though so eventually discontinued it.

After that, I continued the Desipramine-alone this time, without Trilafon and Cogentin. I felt fairly good- no real side effects.

 

1989, moved to Southern California but did not take anything for depression nor anxiety. I still had these conditions but they were at a tolerable level that I did not feel a need for any medication.

 

Around 2003, I tried a few of the SSRI's but only for like 1 or 2 days. Even taking them in the morning, I had trouble sleeping. They seemed to have an activating quality to them.

 

2008, I tried Buspirone gradually going from 15mg once a day to 30mg in the morning and 15mg at night. That seemed to help with anxiety, and took that for several weeks and then stopped. After that, I tried the "Starter Pack" of Lamictal going from 25mg, to 50mg and finally 100mg. No side effects and no other effects either- did absolutely nothing for my depression and anxiety.

 

I went to a psychiatrist almost three months ago, who "thought" I might have Bipolar II, but I have really no symptoms of the disorder. I always have a "down" mood and often cry alot. I'm never "up and down." I did a neurpsychological testing at Cedars Sinai few months ago, which was also negative for Bipolar I and II but did show that I have Unipolar depression, anxiety and panic disorder. Because of the psychiatrist with his "Bipolar theory" I got a second opinion from an expert psychologist at UCLA who said I do not have Bipolar 2 but said I have depression, panic and anxiety.

 

 

As of today, I am not taking anything, but from my previous post I made, October of 2010, the anxiety shot up alot, maybe double what it has previously been. My mood also shot down. I'm as low in mood as I am high in my anxiety. Almost like the two are one condition. My worst symptoms are the muscle tension in the back, neck and legs as well as this "dread" feeling particularly in the morning. At the end of the day, I'm always in a better mood(less depressed), and I'm less anxious. I would LOVE to get back to the way I was feeling prior to Oct. 2010. I even tried working a part time job last year but the same thing happened that happens at the gym- my back would tighten up around people and heart rate would go up. I could even feel my heart pounding in my chest. Extremely annoying. I've tried "natural" remedies which did absolutely minimal help- Theanine, Magenesium, Rhodiola, B Vitamins, you name it. I am open to suggestions but at this point I simply want my life back.

 

I'm assuming stress may have played a role in my worsening anxiety/depression but I don't think it's caused the condition.

 

I also worry about everything- my health, money, the future, etc.

[dragonz]

I also have HIV as a medical condition which is treated with two different drugs. Never had any health issues though with this condition, always have regular lab work that comes back completely normal.

[dalsaan]

Have you checked the side effects of your HIV medications? Could they be contributing to what you are experiencing

 

I did a quick google search and here is a site that's lists medications and adverse effects. http://www.webmd.com/hiv-aids/aids-hiv-medication-side-effects

[Altostrata]

dragonz, it seems to me you view yourself as a psychiatric patient and are very fatalistic about your need for medication. If you go to a doctor with that attitude, 99% of the time you will come out with some cockamamie diagnosis and a handful of prescriptions.

 

Walking at least 1/2 hour per day is a good way to get exercise and get your entire body and mind working better.

 

It seems to me your HIV status is a much larger concern. If I were you, I'd focus on getting into the very best physical health and stop obsessing about your psychological state.

[Nikki]

Do you visit sites called Surviving Plance Crashes and ask if anyone can share a hopeful experience of their crash?

 

Alex I fell out laughing over what you posted.....

 

There are so many side effects that come along with AD's ~ and~ more specifically when trying to get off of them. Then the "real fun" begins.

 

I was in a very bad way when I was initially prescribed AD's. Did they work? For me, yes.

 

Paxil helped me, but I gained weight from it and was totally unable to get off of it which led me to taper onto Lexapro which worked, but was a murderous process to get off of.

 

I understand your question and your curiosity over this site and the topic of AD's. For many, lives were saved. For others, lives were ruined.

 

I fall into the middle category. I'm okay. Mostly they did help. For me the tapering off is hellacious.

 

Right now I am on 30mgs. Celexa (which I am weaning off of) and 30 mgs. Imipramine. Due to some stressful events which life throws our way, I have been coasting at this ratio and I really am okay.

 

When will I make my next drop.....not sure....the Holidays are approaching and God forbid my daughter should get her life in order

 

Best regards

[dragonz]

Have you checked the side effects of your HIV medications? Could they be contributing to what you are experiencing

 

I did a quick google search and here is a site that's lists medications and adverse effects. http://www.webmd.com/hiv-aids/aids-hiv-medication-side-effects

 

 

I've been taking meds for this condition since 1997- I also never had anxiety or depression as bad as it is now.

 

Funny thing is, in June 2009, one of the meds was changed to something else, and my mood began to go down a few months later. Didn't think anything of it, but it wasn't until October 2010 the anxiety shot up overnight. I stopped the med I began in 2009, about 8 weeks ago. There has been a "little" improvement but not alot. Maybe in a few months things might get better but the doctor who treats me says he has over 30 patients who are on the drug I discontinued and no one ever complained of anxiety or depression. The web site for the drug said in postmarketing, adverse events included depression, suicidal thoughts and actions, feeling anxious, and paranoia. I guess I won't know for sure until a few more months but being off the drug for 8 weeks now, I would have thought I would feel alot better so maybe the drug wasn't to blame

[basildev]

Hey Dragonz,

 

My situation is very similiar to Nikki's. They did help at the time so I'm kind of one of the 'middle ones' too.

 

BUT...if I'd known how ridiculously difficult it is to get off them I'd have thought very carefully about my initial decision to go on them. I feel cheated and a bit duped, especially now when the doctors all look at me as though I'm not all there when I describe my withdrawal symptoms.

 

I think somebody else mentioned this in another topic - let the doctors go on the meds themselves if they think it's that easy to come off them.

 

If I had my time again I would have looked at my diet, how often I was eating (I didn't used to eat breakfast and probably had blood sugar problems) and I would have had some extensive blood test.

 

Oh well..

[alexjuice]

I lack expertise about HIV treatment but I suspect those are powerful drugs, new-ish and with side effects of their own.

 

In a case like yours, you are probably going to have to be willing and open, or atleast be willing to be willing... Believe in yourself, that you can solve your problems and attain a satisfying life. Disavow yourself of the notion that some expert can find the one thing wrong with you and fix it for you. That's my advice. I don't delight in giving it, I wish there were such experts for me too. You can, of course, decide for yourself.

 

If you want to be more proactive getting copies of your records and labwork is a terrific idea. There are patient oriented communities (yahoo groups, forums, etc) devoted to every medical condition. The patients aren't perfect. One reason Alto started this site is that other antidepressant withdrawal sites were lacking. Remember that as you educate yourself until you have a good grasp of fundamentals.

 

I've had success with the CD series from the social anxiety institute however it's expensive and isn't effective for people with active depression, generally. One needs to practice the CBT exercises daily, at least for a few minutes. As you know, depression almost always undermines motivation and best intentions.

[bruno2016]

I've got both anxiety and depression. Also have sleep problems probably caused by the anxiety and depression. I've got severe muscle tension, get heart palpitations where it feels like my heart is racing and pounding. I often feel dread in the morning and early afternoon. Odd thing is, I'm more depressed in the morning and less at the end of the day. I'm also more anxious in the mornings and less at the end of the day. Almost like both the anxiety and depression are one disorder, rather than separate. I've lost interest in so many things- even cooking or creative things. I want to go back to the gym, but my back is constantly "locked" in this muscle tension, when I work out my heart rate shoots up. I know it goes up when working out but with my back locked up in tension it's as though I'm in a constant fight or flight mode. The cardiologist did a battery of tests on me and said everything is fine but he feels it's anxiety causing my heart reactions. I'm just tired of feeling this way- hopeless and I'm always sad.

 

go to a holistic doc. get your nutrients tested with the spectracell test. Eat plenty of raw, organic fruits and veggies. take probiotics and fix any digestive issues. get another therapist. meditate. pray. check for food allergies. see if you have any other allergies. TRY AND FIND THE ROOT CAUSE....

[bruno2016]

I also have HIV as a medical condition which is treated with two different drugs. Never had any health issues though with this condition, always have regular lab work that comes back completely normal.

 

HIV drugs are very powerful. I would check the side effects of those. Your doctor may not know everything. Do some research yourself.

[Altostrata]

dragonz, you might join a support site for people who are HIV positive and taking HIV medications, and ask your questions there.

 

This is a site for going off antidepressants. I'm not going to spend my time researching side effects of HIV medications for you.

 

Overall, my impression is you need to develop a habit of taking care of yourself.

 

I hope you don't mind, I won't be participating in your topic any more. Please don't send me any personal messages, either.

[Shanti]

I have to chime in with the same thing. The Antidepressants worked, but the cost wasn't worth it. If I had known what could be in for, I would never in a million years agreed to this. This horrible hell we go through from them is LONG. Years for many. For me, it's been about a year and a half dealing with the protracted withdrawals. I think more people suicide from the meds themselves. I personally in this time have seen three people give up during this process and resort to suicide. It's THAT bad. Not worth it.

 

There are many effective alternatives to treat depression. Homeopathy is effective for me, for all conditions.

 

Edit: I didn't see the whole topic and the turn.

[ajay]

Hi Dragonz,

 

As you've heard, most of us are here because we had some nasty problems with antidepressants, so you've hit a nerve. When people ask me about them, I usually say it's a gamble. They really do seem to help some people. Some people have great luck on them for a short time (6 months to a year) and then go off them with no problem. The catch is, some people also try them for a short period, have a terrible reaction, stop taking them, and then find themselves worse off than they were before. The tricky thing is there's no way of knowing where you'll fall on the spectrum. So most of us here would say don't risk it. Especially because if you do have a bad reaction, it's really difficult to get medical help and guidance. If you had asked me 6 months after I first started taking them, I would've told you they were good, except for one or two side effects I could live with. Now I wish I could go back to my younger self and say "don't do it!" I honestly feel like I've lost 20 years of my life.

 

Personally, I think you may find it worth some of your time to look around at this site, because a lot of people have problems with depression and anxiety and there's a lot of helpful information about different ways people try to cope with and control them. You'll also get a sense of what some of the risks could be if you do try an antidepressant. There are also a lot of references to books that offer counterpoints to the views you'll get from most pro-med doctors.

 

I really, really wish I could tell you something more optimistic.

 

Do you think your regular counselor is helping you? If not, perhaps it's time to shop around for another one.

 

I also second the idea that it's worth checking out HIV support groups (online, if the anxiety makes it too hard to meet with people). HIV meds are outside of my scope of expertise - you may find that others have similar symptoms and they may have found ways of coping.

 

Depression sucks, and anxiety is awful. I really hope you can find ways to manage them. I know it's not easy. My suggestion: start with being as kind to yourself as you possibly can, and taking as good care of yourself as you possibly can. Eat well (lots of veggies and protein) go for walks in the California sun, maybe try yoga...

 

Best of luck to you.