Horns85: Lexapro withdrawal

[clearday]

No, not at all. I had akathisia during my Prozac WD years ago in the form of Restless Legs (RLS) at bedtime. Not the worst thing in the world, compared with others on here. It was very annoying at times. It lasted a couple years. Haven't had it for over 7 years.

 

I've heard the term "Wheel of Misfortune", the game we've been forced into with this WD.

 

Depending on our nervous systems and the drug, we wind up with what we get. My Prozac WD symptoms were all different from my Lexapro WD symptoms.

 

For this Lexapro WD, I had the left side of my body and scalp feel numb at night during months 10-14, a kind of paresthesia. Not bad at all. But very important to note it, it all adds to the picture of SSRI WD. And since it is long gone, it helps to know I am healing.

[Horns85]

I had nice day and half window on Wednesday and Thursday. Certainly not symptom free but I felt a very nice shift in my mood and outlook on WD for about 36 hours. Unfortunately it was short lived and it became very rainy, hot and humid and many of symptoms ramped up. It seems that allergies that stem from weather change can ramp up symptoms. It's very strange and almost sounds ridiculous, but it happens. Shakiness, dizziness and muscle tension.

 

O well, I'll push through until the next window! Hopefully it will last a little longer!

[Horns85]

So that past week or two I have been having moments where I feel really well emotionally. Sometimes it lasts for a day, sometimes I will feel terrible and then all of sudden feel great for 15 minutes. Sometimes it for a few hours in the evening. It's almost of a flip switches in my head. I then tend to feel terrible once it's gone because I am so upset that I don't feel well anymore. These periods  of feeling good are not symptom free but I almost feel as if I could do anything for those few minutes, hours or day.

 

Is this the beginning of windows/waves? 

[clearday]

Yes, sounds like windows and waves. 

 

It's not an exact schedule, but an overall process.

 

I'm in  one of my worst waves right now, and it hit me at 16 months out. It seems like some major renovation going on, and that usually means difficult times.  

 

The symptoms "morph" and subtlety change. These "worsening of symptoms" can be really disheartening, but apparently it is how improvement/healing must happen. If I didn't have this forum to understand what is going on, I would be in absolute despair.

 

The localized areas of pressure and noise in my head has morphed into a more diffuse pressure and muffling inside my entire head.

 

It is exhausting, and naps are great if they can be had.

 

I'm always amazed at how bad a wave can be, yet be interspersed with great windows during the day, lasting an afternoon.

 

It is very confusing and misleading, it seems like I'm going downhill, but then I feel good for some time. 

 

The brain fog I was mired in for a couple months has lifted during this bad wave. I feel like my old self for a few hours.

 

At night is when my brain gets rocking and rolling. 

 

I have no idea how long this process will last and how I will feel next week or next month.

 

For now, I can only have trust in the process, that my brain is doing what it needs to do to restablish itself after the extensive changes I made to it by using Lexapro. 

 

This confusion and suffering takes its toll. I'm confident that as long as I do eventually heal, and feel better, I will enjoy feeling good and will be able to mostly forget about all that I've had to go through to get there. 

[ikam]

So that past week or two I have been having moments where I feel really well emotionally. Sometimes it lasts for a day, sometimes I will feel terrible and then all of sudden feel great for 15 minutes. Sometimes it for a few hours in the evening. It's almost of a flip switches in my head. I then tend to feel terrible once it's gone because I am so upset that I don't feel well anymore. These periods  of feeling good are not symptom free but I almost feel as if I could do anything for those few minutes, hours or day.

 

Is this the beginning of windows/waves? 

 

 

Yes, sounds like windows and waves. 

 

It's not an exact schedule, but an overall process.

 

I'm in  one of my worst waves right now, and it hit me at 16 months out. It seems like some major renovation going on, and that usually means difficult times.  

 

The symptoms "morph" and subtlety change. These "worsening of symptoms" can be really disheartening, but apparently it is how improvement/healing must happen. If I didn't have this forum to understand what is going on, I would be in absolute despair.

 

The localized areas of pressure and noise in my head has morphed into a more diffuse pressure and muffling inside my entire head.

 

It is exhausting, and naps are great if they can be had.

 

I'm always amazed at how bad a wave can be, yet be interspersed with great windows during the day, lasting an afternoon.

 

It is very confusing and misleading, it seems like I'm going downhill, but then I feel good for some time. 

 

The brain fog I was mired in for a couple months has lifted during this bad wave. I feel like my old self for a few hours.

 

At night is when my brain gets rocking and rolling. 

 

I have no idea how long this process will last and how I will feel next week or next month.

 

For now, I can only have trust in the process, that my brain is doing what it needs to do to restablish itself after the extensive changes I made to it by using Lexapro. 

 

This confusion and suffering takes its toll. I'm confident that as long as I do eventually heal, and feel better, I will enjoy feeling good and will be able to mostly forget about all that I've had to go through to get there. 

It sounds like my process as well...feeling good, and then feeling that I cannot cope anymore...and then good...

I cannot predict what and when...

I usually sleep well, calm...then I am woken up by something what feels like intense fear...and then get up and feel all right...drive to work, and still feel ok...

Then suddenly hit by the wave, usually by the noise that seems more noisy than usual...

This fear is not real fear...I even checked my pulse today morning and it was 72...too little for fear...

And there are these "great-times", feeling as my usual self...

Then, hit again...

Sometimes it feels as if these two people in my had no connection...

[Horns85]

Yes, sounds like windows and waves. 

 

It's not an exact schedule, but an overall process.

 

I'm in  one of my worst waves right now, and it hit me at 16 months out. It seems like some major renovation going on, and that usually means difficult times.  

 

The symptoms "morph" and subtlety change. These "worsening of symptoms" can be really disheartening, but apparently it is how improvement/healing must happen. If I didn't have this forum to understand what is going on, I would be in absolute despair.

 

The localized areas of pressure and noise in my head has morphed into a more diffuse pressure and muffling inside my entire head.

 

It is exhausting, and naps are great if they can be had.

 

I'm always amazed at how bad a wave can be, yet be interspersed with great windows during the day, lasting an afternoon.

 

It is very confusing and misleading, it seems like I'm going downhill, but then I feel good for some time. 

 

The brain fog I was mired in for a couple months has lifted during this bad wave. I feel like my old self for a few hours.

 

At night is when my brain gets rocking and rolling. 

 

I have no idea how long this process will last and how I will feel next week or next month.

 

For now, I can only have trust in the process, that my brain is doing what it needs to do to restablish itself after the extensive changes I made to it by using Lexapro. 

 

This confusion and suffering takes its toll. I'm confident that as long as I do eventually heal, and feel better, I will enjoy feeling good and will be able to mostly forget about all that I've had to go through to get there. 

Thanks, Clearday.

 

So sorry to hear you in such an awful wave at 16 months out. I have no doubt that massive healing is going on for you at the moment.

 

Hang in there.

[Horns85]

Well the cortisol filled mornings are back. I have been experiencing waking about down for most of my WD but the cortisol/anxiety fueled feeling has come and gone. In the past I have always been able to figure out why I feel so anxious but recently it's every morning but my mind feels calm. No racing or anxious thoughts. Just what feels like electricity flowing through me.

 

I try to accept the feeling but that doesn't really help. It causes me to toss and turn and totally ruins the possibility of falling back to sleep. Very very frustrating.

 

Anyone have any tips? I have a sleep mask and that seems to help a little with the waking but not the cortisol.

[ikam]

I don't have any tips, sorry...my symptoms in the morning are similar to yours, I don't feel anxious, but have uncomfortable electric-like sensations...it usually starts around 4.30-5am...I try to go to sleep really early, sometimes around 8pm, so at least I have enough sleep...this is my only strategy at the moment...

[Horns85]

I seem to be experiencing anxiety in the evenings now which is very very disheartening. Like most, my anxiety and mornings have always been the worst and I tend to improve throughout the day with my evenings being much better. Not symptom free by any means, but I was usually able to relax.

 

Sunday night I sat down to eat and have severe wave of panic come over me. Now, all day I worry about not being able to relax in the evening and anticipate having anxiety in the evening which in turn makes me anxious throughout the day.

 

Whats frustrating is I know to just accept it for what it is, to not add extra anxiety to it and let time pass. Don't expect to have anxiety. With WD anxiety, its so difficult to do that.

 

This overwhelming panic anxiety is new to me, also the inability to not accept the anxiety. 

 

Anyone have any suggestions or deal with this during WD?

[clearday]

It's probably a wave.

 

My "chest tightness" wave returned last week, after six months of not having that symptom.

 

It worsens as the day goes by, and peaks in the evening.

 

It only lasted six days this time, and went away.

 

It was a wave. It was accompanied by an intensity in my other symptoms.

 

This was the worst week so far for me in a few months. I was also disheartened, and wearying of the fight.

 

I know it's a bad wave when I begin to think about reinstating at a small dose. But I would try something else before doing that, probably small amounts of a benzo. I have also heard that tiny amounts of lamictal (less than 5 mg) have been used to reduce SSRI WD. I would consider that if I got desperate. But I have no firsthand experience with that. 

 

This wave is subsiding for now. I am hanging in there.

 

Hope your anxiety wave passes soon, and that we'll both have some windows coming our way -

[LexAnger]

Seems we are all hit badly this round.

I have been having ok days eventually after 9 months battling with the terrible reaction to dose increase, until just couple weeks ago first hit with massive pains (needling, deep, etc) after a root canal procedure, then acid reflux started after a bigger than usual meal in a friends, which triggered severe WD symptoms (my belief its the stomach issue causing all the new symptoms like anxious, brain fogs as I didnt change anything else). So its fun to find new things wrong like every other day causing problems on the already tough road of tapering. 

[Horns85]

Thanks Clearday and Lexanger!

 

Anxiety has decreased a little today. The wave is still around but more manageable . Sorry to hear you both are struggling too! We will all get through it!

 

Have either of you or anyone else dealt with terrible pressure on the bridge of the nose? It comes and goes and is worse during a wave like right now.

 

It does seem to coincide when my derealization gets bad but also after my anxiety has been ramped up.

 

Maybe when I'm anxious I tense that part of my face and when I relax, the pressure/soreness shows up. Who knows.

 

Just curious if anyone else has had this?

[LexAnger]

Oh good you asked. Numbness/pressure/pain all mixed is my daily complain. They are on my left side, head, face, eat, jaw, neck, shoulder, back most time including nose if it's super bad. All these usually start immediately after I wake up then up and down in intensity randomly over the day before less ironing later of the day, especially in late evening often times all disappear or greatly reduced. Super uncomfortable and distressing like I want to cut off my entire left side.

[Horns85]

Has anyone felt like their eyes were the size of golf balls? Almost as if they were going to pop out of your eye socket?

 

I guess it could be allergies but it doesn't feel that way. Almost as if the muscles behind my eyes are being squeezed. Really makes the constant visual problems of DR pretty bad. It comes and goes but is very uncomfortable.

[When91]

after a good window, now I'm back for a wave. the wave this time came a lot worse, I feel pain in the left shoulder, back, neck (left side), left arm, difficult respiration.

[LexAnger]

When91,

Sorry about your wave and the pain! Hope it pass soon.

Those are part of my set I experience everyday.

 

Can you add a signature for your meds history?

[Horns85]

I am wondering if anyone has any experinece with this. I feel like I am healing, slowly but surely. I have begun to have days where I feel joy and happiness and symptoms are more mild. Even if its only for an hour or so.

 

My question is, and this may sound ridiculous, my wife and I are set to have our second child at the beginning of September. Anyone here who has children knows that the first few months can be very stressful. I guess I am concerned that the added stress will prolong my WD and delay my recovery...? Even as I type this it sounds kind of ridiculous. Does anyone have any advice or gone through this?

[ikam]

I don't have any advice, but same as you I was worrying about extra stress. I moved house recently, started new job. And I am not as bad as I was worried about...

The only thing I really try to do is enough sleep...not always possible...

[Horns85]

Thats good it hasn't been as bad! It seems silly to think it will delay my brain recovering, but it might make it more difficult to handle. Anyway, yeah sleep

is what I worry about as well. Especially with a newborn.

[clearday]

Years ago, we had our child and raised her from an infant through toddler while I was in full blown protracted withdrawal from Prozac. 

 

Being partially disabled from the WD allowed me to stay at home and spend a lot of time raising her. Otherwise I would have been out of the house and working.

 

While it was a lot of work and stress to raise a small child, I don't believe it prolonged my recovery. I eventually healed.

 

Don't worry about it, try to enjoy everything that goes with having a new baby. Just do the best you can as you ride the waves and windows. 

[Horns85]

Thank you, Clearday. Thats great to hear!  I have noticed in WD I tend worry and stress about situations and scenarios that I would have never worried about before. Its quite frustrating. 

[clearday]

That's because we're smart; we know that our bodies are compromised and vulnerable to stress right now, so we have to manage our stress wisely.

 

I've had to put off a planned travel vacation abroad because I don't know if I'll be stuck in a bad wave when we go away. The added stress of travel would worsen a wave, and I don't want to feel lousy on an expensive vacation.

[Horns85]

I agree 100%. Went on a small vacation this summer to Southern California and it was tough. Especially the travel.

I hate that you have postponed your trip but I fully understand.

 

I read your update the other day! So happy for you and your recovery gives me hope.

[Horns85]

This is a journey for sure. Though I "tapered" over a six month period with really no ill effects, I should have known I was going to fast w/ no symptoms. I really didn't feel any effects till about 4 months off the meds and then month 8 med free brought the PAIN!! Its very demoralizing 10 months off to feel the worst.

 

I have had moments of happiness and small windows here and there. I know I am healing despite feeling worse than I did at 4 months off. This is truly a test of patience, hope and perseverance.

 

Anyone else feel ok until about the 7/8 month off only to get hit bad then?

[clearday]

Anyone else feel ok until about the 7/8 month off only to get hit bad then?

 

Yes, you can tell from my signature that I was doing ok until 7 months off the drug. That's when my nervous system unraveled.

 

First the severe insomnia wave, followed by the ear ringing, head noise, chest tightness, and paresthesia. 

 

I've done much healing so far, but I have a long way to go. I'm in a bad wave right now. 

 

It's very common for people who stop Lexapro to have a delayed response of withdrawal. Also very common for other SSRIs.

[Horns85]

Update -

 

I am now 10 1/2 months since my last dose of Lexapro. Months 1-7 saw some symptoms such as GI Issues, Mild Anxiety and Ahnedonia, occasional early morning waking and irritability. The GI Issues and irritability have subsided for the most part. It was nothing I couldn't handle.

 

Month 8 is when I got hit with obsessive/rumintaing thoughts, constant derealization, anxiety and anhedonia ramped up and some insomnia.

 

The insomnia did not really hit me until about 2 weeks ago when I laid down and everytime I was almost asleep, I woke right back up. This has gotten better ever so slightly over the last two weeks. Mostly because I quit trying to fight it. I am still getting maybe 5-6 hours so I won't complain too much.

 

The derealization is my most persistent and aggravating symptom. I did have one window on a Friday evening about 3 weeks ago where a switch flipped and I felt calm, happy and didn't care about my symptoms. My DR almost completely went away that night. It did come back but I know it will go eventually.

 

The good news - Monday morning, even though filled with anxiety, I felt a sense of happiness come rush over me. This lasted through Monday evening. I felt so good Monday night, even with the derealization, I had trouble sleeping because I felt so good. Laughed at my TV shows, was interested in conversations and my head felt clear. Went away Tuesday, came back Wednesday morning and is gone today. BUT, this gave me hope that healing is happening.

 

I have been in this terrible wave for over 2 months now but have a had days mixed in that were good. Not symptom free, but better.

 

I ruminate and despair constantly over the derealization and the glass window feeling over my vision. The day this passes, or really improves will be a glorious day! Healing is happening whether we believe it or not. Can you tell I have to remind myself of that?

[LoveandLight]

Made me smile your description of Monday brilliant

[Horns85]

Made me smile your description of Monday brilliant

Glad I was able to bring a smile! Sometimes those are hard to come by during this process!

[LexAnger]

Great, great news!

So happy for you and thanks for the encouraging update!

[Horns85]

Great, great news!

So happy for you and thanks for the encouraging update!

Thanks and your welcome! I still have a LONG way to go. The ever so slight improvements give me hope. They are so slight, sometimes I wonder if they are actually improvements, but they are!

 

I can hope that once the WD anxiety/agitation calms down, the DR will slowly fade.

 

I don't expect any significant improvement until 18 months or so, but that will be here before we know it.

[clearday]

Month 8 is when I got hit with obsessive/rumintaing thoughts, constant derealization, anxiety and anhedonia ramped up and some insomnia.

 

The insomnia did not really hit me until about 2 weeks ago when I laid down and everytime I was almost asleep, I woke right back up. This has gotten better ever so slightly over the last two weeks. Mostly because I quit trying to fight it. I am still getting maybe 5-6 hours so I won't complain too much.

 

Interesting, I got hit with Lexapro WD insomnia - same thing, fall asleep/wake right back up - at almost the same time, the 7 month mark.

 

It lasted for about two months, slowly got better, and I have been sleeping great ever since, almost a year now. It's as if my sleep rhythms were restored to normal after the wave.

 

Great to hear that your recovery is proceeding as it should, with windows that show you how you will feel once this is all over.

 

I posted an update on my thread, I am doing very well recently. Much improvement, although waves still hit even this far out.

 

But overall I am certainly healing, and still have a ways to go too.

[Horns85]

 

Month 8 is when I got hit with obsessive/rumintaing thoughts, constant derealization, anxiety and anhedonia ramped up and some insomnia.

 

The insomnia did not really hit me until about 2 weeks ago when I laid down and everytime I was almost asleep, I woke right back up. This has gotten better ever so slightly over the last two weeks. Mostly because I quit trying to fight it. I am still getting maybe 5-6 hours so I won't complain too much.

 

Interesting, I got hit with Lexapro WD insomnia - same thing, fall asleep/wake right back up - at almost the same time, the 7 month mark.

 

It lasted for about two months, slowly got better, and I have been sleeping great ever since, almost a year now. It's as if my sleep rhythms were restored to normal after the wave.

 

Great to hear that your recovery is proceeding as it should, with windows that show you how you will feel once this is all over.

 

I posted an update on my thread, I am doing very well recently. Much improvement, although waves still hit even this far out.

 

But overall I am certainly healing, and still have a ways to go too.

 

Thanks, Clearday!

 

I did read your update. So happy for you. Keep plugging along. 

 

You will be out of the woods here before you know it.

[Horns85]

I wanted to share with you guys a link to some mp3 files from Dr. Claire Weekes. If you scroll down to the bottom of the page, there are 4 'How to Recover from Anxiety' files. I got these from a dear dear friend who recovered from Lexapro WD. I have listened probably 100 times to each one and every time they calm me down.

 

These have been a miracle for me so far and I listen to them over and over and over and over and over again. Though they focus on the recovery from anxiety and depression, it's amazing how her advice mirrors how we recover from AD withdrawal. Acceptance and time!!

 

Anyway, these have helped me, they may not help everyone but I wanted to share.

 

 

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/relax.html

[bluebalu86]

Thanks, these are very useful. Will listen to them.

[Horns85]

Thanks, these are very useful. Will listen to them.

Blue, they are great. I rotate them and they never get old.

[bubble]

Great fan of Claire Weekes too!

 

Although she reminds me of Churchill's wae speeches (not that I listened to them her messages give courage and teach many important coping strategies...