ikam: tapering escitalopram

January 18, 2015

I'm thinking you sound as if you're just a little brighter? Hope so

Ever, I see you did your decrease on 7th jan. How is this going? How are you?

January 18, 2015

Questions:

- How can I distinguish symptoms that are drug/WD related from somatic problems? E.g. pain in my palms, is it arthritis or wd? It all has started when I started escitalopram. It is at its worst at present, only in the morning...

- What are the indications of "positive wd process" (meaning that it will bring a positive outcome), and "negative wd process"?

- I had to tapper faster, will I then end up with protracted wihtdrawal?

January 18, 2015

It seems I lost my motivation to do anything today. I planned so much yesterday...

Is this neuro-emotion? This feeling of deep sadness?

It is three hours since I got up and I have done nothing, even haven't put tv on...

My flat is getting more and more messy. I see it but feel completely unmotivated to do anything...

Still in my old flat, I would go out...i refuse going out here...i dislike the area so much...

Why am I like this, when I was ok yesterday? It feels as if I was weak in my body...

January 18, 2015

It is windows and waves, the ebb and flow of symptoms and 'weirdities'. Sometimes it is just easier to chalk them ALL up to wd instead of trying to figure them out, which is which.

I did not clean my house for a year, the dusting etc. Minimal cleanup at best. Surprisingly, contemplating it caused a gut feeling of alarm and anxiety. So I didn't even try, I eliminated all the unnecessary stress I could. Have recently gone back to it which I see as a sign of recovery. I didn't die from the dust and clutter.

January 18, 2015

It is windows and waves, the ebb and flow of symptoms and 'weirdities'. Sometimes it is just easier to chalk them ALL up to wd instead of trying to figure them out, which is which.

I did not clean my house for a year, the dusting etc. Minimal cleanup at best. Surprisingly, contemplating it caused a gut feeling of alarm and anxiety. So I didn't even try, I eliminated all the unnecessary stress I could. Have recently gone back to it which I see as a sign of recovery. I didn't die from the dust and clutter.

I felt so much better yesterday, made some plans, trusted my ability to cope...i am on the other side today...

I don't understand this...

I know, there are waves and windows...but what caused this wave? Yes, I know, just chemical imbalance...

My house is no more messy than yesterday, just my perception has changed...

I will be flying on wednesday, but today I see this as a stressful even. And, of course, even a positive event is a stress for the body...

I am feeling so tired today, so, low, but most of all with no motivation to do anything to break through this feeling...

January 18, 2015

Another question:

- is this possible to predict what symptoms/problems may follow?

(i had different symptoms from effexor; I am finding it difficult that I cannot predict what will happen next?)

January 18, 2015

When you find a way to predict the future, please tell us about it.

January 18, 2015

Thanks

I wish I could...

On effexor I was more able to predict what happens next, but I think, only after many weeks of tappering...

I am so impatient...

January 19, 2015

I am so fed up with myself. Woke up around 8am...was supposed to go and check my car. Cancelled it. Sort of slept until 12o'clock...

Since friday, I have been doing nothing. I felt better on friday as I was more active...Although I know this, I keep doing nothing...I have no motivation at all...

I am feeling exhausted now and it seems that the simplest things are becoming a huge challenge...

When I am out, I concentrate on my symptoms less...i feel less tired...

I decided to see physiotherapist...i am going today in the evening...i used to be more motivated when I was given set of exercices...

I did some simple yoga yesterday, something I used to do every day when I had pelvic pain...

January 19, 2015

After physiotherapy, it was good and reassuring visit. He said they getting more and more people affected by a different medication.

He checked everything and concluded that he is not surprised I feel paresthesia in my hands. It is a combination of trauma related to the medication and my body possture and change in my life style, as I used to walk a lot and used to be generally more active. He explained to me that it is worse at night as there is restriction in a blood flow to my extremities. Because of my body posture, I get it in my hands. He suggested to use a hot water bottle at night. And generally, not to worry...

The pain I used to have in a pelvic area, could be explained in a similar way...

We spoke a bit about how people get caught in pain-anxiety cycle, which is maximised by poor diagnosis and over-medicating by doctors...

I am feeling more reassured now...

January 19, 2015

good to see you feeling calmer ikam

January 19, 2015

Yeap, it is still up and down, but calmer...

good to see you feeling calmer ikam

Yeap, it is still up and down, but calmer...

January 20, 2015

I bought a powdered magnesium, but I don't know when is the best to start taking it...

https://www.amazon.c...0?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I know, I will need to start from mini-doses...

January 26, 2015

Hello again, it is 22 days since my second decrease. I have just fome back from my holidays. It was great to be away! I did not have much problems with paresthesia, although my hands, fingers are quite painfull in the morning. I guess it may relate to a restricted blood flow to this area, or maybe some inflamation.

I have been more tired than ususlly, quite dizzy on getting up...

But I was able to be as lazy as I could, which was really good...

Unfortunately, my immune system seems very low. I have an acute outbreak of cold sore(herpes simplex virus), and it is not just one, but few blisters, really big. I have been using zovirax. There is a supplement, l-lysine, but I don't know if I could use it as well?

My next question relates to using some multivitamins, I think I have problems with anemia, it was checked in my blood.

I also wonder if anybody knows anything about using bee pollen? It could be used instead of multivitamins...

January 28, 2015

Is this possible that multivitamins can re-trigger WD symptoms? I had more paresthesia today...

I don't really know what to do, as my immune system seems so low...

January 29, 2015

Yes, this is why we suggest you don't take mixed supplements. Some people are sensitive to some of the B vitamins, they can be activating. If you want to try supplements, buy the ingredients separately and try a small dose to see how its going to effect you. I have been taking vitC ginger and garlic and they seem to help with my immune system, but I don't know for certain.

A healthy diet with plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables will give you much of the nutrition you need. If you can get organic, that's even better.

January 29, 2015

Yes, this is why we suggest you don't take mixed supplements. Some people are sensitive to some of the B vitamins, they can be activating. If you want to try supplements, buy the ingredients separately and try a small dose to see how its going to effect you. I have been taking vitC ginger and garlic and they seem to help with my immune system, but I don't know for certain.

A healthy diet with plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables will give you much of the nutrition you need. If you can get organic, that's even better.

Thank you.

My diet is highly compromised, as I cannot eat most of veg, no garlic, no fruits...

Feeling stuck in this matter...I need nutrition that I cannot get from food, as my digestive system responds with diarrhea...

January 29, 2015

Yes, this is why we suggest you don't take mixed supplements. Some people are sensitive to some of the B vitamins, they can be activating. If you want to try supplements, buy the ingredients separately and try a small dose to see how its going to effect you. I have been taking vitC ginger and garlic and they seem to help with my immune system, but I don't know for certain.

A healthy diet with plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables will give you much of the nutrition you need. If you can get organic, that's even better.

Thank you.

My diet is highly compromised, as I cannot eat most of veg, no garlic, no fruits...

Feeling stuck in this matter...I need nutrition that I cannot get from food, as my digestive system responds with diarrhea...

In addition, I had my GP appointment today. My cholesterol is high...i don't know what to do anymore...

I wish...i could just die...i am tired...

January 29, 2015

As I said above, I wish I could just die...i feel extremely tired...

I also feel lost, I don't know what is what anymore...

I used to be tired prior to the WD...so is this WD or my usual tiredness?

How to judge my symptoms, feelings, bodily responses, etc.?!

What I wrote below is a bit more SENSITIVE

My autonomic nervous system usually sends some alarm signals to my body, as I was a victim of emotional, phisical and sexual abuse and also emotional neglect...

My father was an alcoholic and abuser, my mother was constantly panicking and I was left on my own resources. We had enough money though, all expencive toys, etc. But no secure base at home...I could have been beaten up until my father managed to discharge his rage...

Yet, I survived my childhood, managed to get a good, very good education...

But today, I feel I want to just die...

I feel I struggle all my life...to find out that I really don't know what to do next...

My body needs nutrition, but I have extreme problems with digestion...

Yes, I understand I need to eat veg and fruit, drink kefir, etc. But I cannot...i end up with severe diarrhea...

My doctor, others say, I need to avoid stress, but this is impossible. I live on my own, have more and more debts, I have to start working soon...

There are other things...

Generally, I feel today as if I am trapped...

And I don't know what to do anymore...

January 29, 2015

Hi ikam, I am so sorry to hear you are feeling that bad! I have been following you ever since my first response to your topic and though you have been feeling a bit better as you didn't talk much about your symptoms lately. I had have the same idea of dying many times on this incredible jorney and I had it yesterday too. God knows how strong I have been to even exist on the earth today. But I have no othe choices but keep going. I know I am not at the stage today to be able to provide you much positive thinking but still want to let you know you are not alone and my thoughts are to you. Do you get better in evening? I hope you do and that will give you break, hope to continue.

January 29, 2015

Hi ikam, I am so sorry to hear you are feeling that bad! I have been following you ever since my first response to your topic and though you have been feeling a bit better as you didn't talk much about your symptoms lately. I had have the same idea of dying many times on this incredible jorney and I had it yesterday too. God knows how strong I have been to even exist on the earth today. But I have no othe choices but keep going. I know I am not at the stage today to be able to provide you much positive thinking but still want to let you know you are not alone and my thoughts are to you. Do you get better in evening? I hope you do and that will give you break, hope to continue.

Thank you. I think I don't look as much for a positive thinking thsn for feeling that I am not so lonely with my problem. So you sharing that you know what I talk about and that you have been following me is enough.

My problem relates to an overhelming in times loneliness...

I always get better in evening, sometimes almost as if I was a different person to the morning one. I have always been lower in the morning, but now it has been an extreme. And I cannot put it down just to meds. I made a wrong choice and I am stucj here with no money at present...

When my GP told me today about cholesterol being too high I felt devastated. I don't know what to do anymore with my health. My food intake is so limited, so I don't get enough nutrition...I don't eat badly, no fast food, hardly any sugar, hardly any fat...

I know somebody who could help me (she did in the past when I was considered as having pancreatic problems; I did not!), but she is very expensive and supplements are expensive too...

So I responded with an increase of thinking that I want to die...

I am generally so tired...as it seems I go from one problem to another...and I tend to worry a lot...

Everything seems to be so difficult in the morning...

I am better now...

I found a different sort of multivitamin, I may try it, as it never affected me in the past. It is called Mercola Whole Food Multivitamin Plus http://products.mercola.com/whole-foods-multivitamin/

Thank you for listening to me...

January 29, 2015

I'm glad you feel bit better now. Just can't believe this whole thing. I do the exact same thing you do when in a bad wave thinking all the bad decision I made feeling so frustrated and angry.

High cholesterol is a sure side effect of lex and WD. Mine jumped sky high too since I started tapering. If you looks at the list of side effects, you can find almost everything possible and impossible in the whole world this damn drug can cause. I eat super healthy for years and exercise 2 hours each day, what else you can do really, just hold and wait for things getting over if it will ever does. The CNS is like a operating system for a computer, once messed up, all application can go wrong, complete random.

I am sorry the money adds extra stress to you. What can I help there? I wish you were here in us to help you with some specific needs. I may be able to help a little in sense of money if that makes a difference. I'm serious.

Hope you continue feeling even better for the rest of day. My super bad head syndrome seems lessening a bit too. What a life!

January 29, 2015

I'm glad you feel bit better now. Just can't believe this whole thing. I do the exact same thing you do when in a bad wave thinking all the bad decision I made feeling so frustrated and angry.

High cholesterol is a sure side effect of lex and WD. Mine jumped sky high too since I started tapering. If you looks at the list of side effects, you can find almost everything possible and impossible in the whole world this damn drug can cause. I eat super healthy for years and exercise 2 hours each day, what else you can do really, just hold and wait for things getting over if it will ever does. The CNS is like a operating system for a computer, once messed up, all application can go wrong, complete random.

I am sorry the money adds extra stress to you. What can I help there? I wish you were here in us to help you with some specific needs. I may be able to help a little in sense of money if that makes a difference. I'm serious.

Hope you continue feeling even better for the rest of day. My super bad head syndrome seems lessening a bit too. What a life!

Oh, thank you...You so caring...i will try to manage...i had to pay some money for tax return today, ouch...

I contacted this person, she is expensive but she helped me with a very bad condition...i did not realise that time that it was related to late WD after effexor. I managed to stop effexor using around three years tapper, I was also PPI free and betablocker free. But I started to have a strange pain in my leg, always at night, stabbing pain. Of course, I let doctors to treat me with painkillers...later I developed strange symptoms, diarrhea and some strange inability to digest. My gp diagnosed me with pancreatic problems and put me on strong pancreatic enzymes. I went to see this woman, nutritionist and she put me on many different supplements that helped me to eat better and stop the enzymes...

I did not realise that AD can cause problems related to cholesterol levels...i got really scared today...

Asvi have been using AD for years, I may need some extra nutritionist support...I have not decided yet...

I still have problems with eating and I am aware I don't get enough nutrition from food...anything can trigger diarrhea...

I have never been to US, maybe one day...

I am much better now, but it is almost time for bed!

January 29, 2015

I just found a list of lexapro withdrawal and high chlesterol is there, I guess I need to stop panicking

http://www.theroadback.org/lexapro.aspx

January 29, 2015

Other meds, any tpe could potentially make things more complicate in ways we cont figure out. If possible try not take anything additional and eliminate others you are taking now. One thing I learned from taking painkiller for 4 days is, it triggered a severe tension headache that I had to increase the dose then ended up suffering today.

Hope you are having a good sleep.

January 30, 2015

Other meds, any tpe could potentially make things more complicate in ways we cont figure out. If possible try not take anything additional and eliminate others you are taking now. One thing I learned from taking painkiller for 4 days is, it triggered a severe tension headache that I had to increase the dose then ended up suffering today.

Hope you are having a good sleep.

Thanks. I have been feeling worse todat, emotionally and phisically. Paresthesia was much worse in the morning...

I cannot figure it out anymore...

I had a physiotherapy yesterday...

I will stop taking multivitamin...

I don't know if this is a good time to spend money on naturopath...

January 30, 2015

Other meds, any tpe could potentially make things more complicate in ways we cont figure out. If possible try not take anything additional and eliminate others you are taking now. One thing I learned from taking painkiller for 4 days is, it triggered a severe tension headache that I had to increase the dose then ended up suffering today.

Hope you are having a good sleep.

Thanks. I have been feeling worse todat, emotionally and phisically. Paresthesia was much worse in the morning...

I cannot figure it out anymore...

I had a physiotherapy yesterday...

I will stop taking multivitamin...

I don't know if this is a good time to spend money on naturopath...

I forgot to add that it seems I get worse after taking my morning dose of lexapro...

I am unsure how to be certain that I really take the same dose, as the liquid seems kind of cloudy....

January 30, 2015

...losing hope...

January 31, 2015

Got up around 1pm. No paresthesia today. I think that accidentally I took a bit more escitalopram yesterday morning...

I stopped multivitamin...

I don't know how to deal with my deficiency problem. As I said before my eating is hugely limited, so I don't get enough from food...

I am feeling very low, but calm today...

I keep thinking that I still don't understand what belongs to withdrawal, what to my personality, what to autonimic arousal, what to physical symptoms, etc.

I am going through a very difficult patch in my life, so no wonder I feel low, sad...I am saying good-bye to some illusions in my life, like my marriage, like my friendship...

Both, my husband and my friend were significant part of my life and only recently I realised that I deluded myself, saw something that was not there...

So I feel terribly lonely and on my own...

Recently I resigned from work, tha. I was hoping would be the last major change for me. Because I was promoted, I moved to a different town. Both, work and moving house have not worked for me...

I feel de-rooted, insecure and lonely here...

Every morning I struggle to open my eyes as I don't want to see this reality, and hear it- I am close to a dual carriage way and building site...

There are days I say no word to anybody...

Soon, I will be starting new job and I am so worried that I will not be strong enough to sustain it...

I know, because of WD, but also my autonimic nervous system being set by childhood trauma, I should avoid stress...

Hmm...

So, I cannot really say, it is just WD...as it is everything and WD adds new dimension and struggle...

I was always oversensitive...now I am hypersensitive + deal with extra symptoms...+deal with menopause+ deal with many losses in my life...+ feeling terribly lonely and on my own...

No, I am not complaining...

I am fully responsible for my life...

In terms of medication and WD, I think I am still only getting through a shock phase...with all its parts, like denial, anger, loss...

I lost my life, I will never be able to be 23 years old and say "no" to psychiatrist. I was hospitalised, as i was suicidal...

Luckily, I got an erlier discharge and they did not manage to get me to insulin treatment...

I will never have my life back and I am unsure if I will get any qality life...i mean I am unsure if physical health will permit me to enjoy my life...

I worry, that if I get ill, I will be...ohh...

February 1, 2015

No paresthesia today, but very low...but i don't think with me it relates only to withdrawal.

It seems that I am going through WD quite well, maybe my body is more used to imbalance?

I used to use meds for some time to cope. I would take more of doxepin and sleep...

I nave lots of problems now, but limited coping skills...Also limited, as in this new flat and surroundings I feel kind of trapped...i dislike place so much, but cannot move out yet...

Today is one of these days I would drug myself, just to sleep, wake up, take drugs and sleep...

I feel as if I am in the end of my life and I wish I could just die...i don't see my life as worth living...and this is not new...i remember my first thought like this whwn I was 14years old...

February 2, 2015

How to judge if I am stable or not?

Depressed, low mood is something normal for me...

Wanting to die, suicidal, it is normal for me...

Lonely, it is normal...

Oversensitive, especially to noises, it is normal...

Fight, flight, it is normal...

Pains, aches, diarrhea, seems also normal...

Paresthesia is gone...

February 2, 2015

Heya Ikam

I totally get all your fears..it sucks..and I'm sorry.

Hug x

February 2, 2015

Heya Ikam

I totally get all your fears..it sucks..and I'm sorry.

Hug x

Thank you...

Sorry to hear that you going through similar experience...you started with AD in similar age as well...

Because I was so young when put on them, I think I did not have time to learn my emotions and coping with them...so for me it is just "normal" to feel depressed...hence, difficult to judge what stable means....

With warm wishes

February 2, 2015

Ikam,

I think you can trust yourself to know when you are becoming 'unstable', it will be like an abnormal increase in the quality of your depression, say, or the predominance of certain emotions that you don't usually have. Or your sleep gets really messed up. It is really hard to tell but I think you will just know when something is not right and you need to slow down.

Becoming a person who does not use alcohol or antidepressants or relationships or what have you to manage my emotions has been an ongoing life experience in that it is never "done", my year in protracted withdrawal notwithstanding. I am sure I am not done with that either just because I feel relatively well at the moment. It is more like evaluating each change in a broader sense and not getting particularly alarmed at day to day changes unless they are super extreme and life threatening (like if I all of a sudden developed an allergy to a food, for instance).

February 2, 2015

Ikam,

I think you can trust yourself to know when you are becoming 'unstable', it will be like an abnormal increase in the quality of your depression, say, or the predominance of certain emotions that you don't usually have. Or your sleep gets really messed up. It is really hard to tell but I think you will just know when something is not right and you need to slow down.

Becoming a person who does not use alcohol or antidepressants or relationships or what have you to manage my emotions has been an ongoing life experience in that it is never "done", my year in protracted withdrawal notwithstanding. I am sure I am not done with that either just because I feel relatively well at the moment. It is more like evaluating each change in a broader sense and not getting particularly alarmed at day to day changes unless they are super extreme and life threatening (like if I all of a sudden developed an allergy to a food, for instance).

Thank you so much for chipping in. I felt kind of lonely in my thread and almost considered leaving it...

The recovery is a journey with no end...

I have learnt in my therapy that there are layers and layers...

I am just beginning to underdtand and FEEL that the relationships I have built so far were jusr my delusions, something I wished them to be, hence I am separated. But also just few days ago I realised that I deluded myself when it comes to my best friend. I feel like I am losing my perception, my wish. I see the person the way she is...ouch! But I also used her for containing my problems- bad me...

So, so much is going on simultaniously...

I will be starting new job in one week, maybe this will bring a structure, hopefully. But I am unsure if I will manage, if my body will manage? I feel older than I am, my body is older than me...

As I said it is difficult for me to judge...

I think I accidently took a bit more escitalopram on thursday and i had severe paresthesia...i am more mindful with my dosing now...but it seems that this drug is a poison for me...there is the wish just to stop it, but I am mindful that I cannot...

I will definitely stay on 2.5mg through my first days at job, possibly longer...

THANK U again. It is so nice to have visitors and talk...i felt like talking to myself for some time...

February 2, 2015

You just have to remember that many people read threads here but never respond because they may be too ill or just don't know what to say. I did a whole lot of 'talking to myself' in my thread when I got here, still do. It is a way to get stuff out and sometimes people comment, sometimes they don't. Either way is good, I have always been a solitary person who craves closeness and can't seem to get it.

So you just keep talking (to yourself if need be) and things will get 'different' if not 'better'. That's a given in life.

Oh and don't underestimate the blessings of a job, ANY job. Changes your perspective in a big way (and gets you out of the house!)

ikam: tapering escitalopram

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