Theon: is it possible to have withdrawal from just 4 months of prozac?

[clearday]

Everyone is struck down in their own way, suffering from the various symptoms reported for SSRI WD -

 

Insomnia/sleep disturbances/disruption of normal sleep patterns are hallmark SSRI WD symptoms, and can last for months, may come and go in waves -

 

Serotonin is a key chemical player in sleep architecture -

 

I had a two month insomnia wave during Lexapro WD, then restoration of normal sleep pattern for months, lately sleep disruption has returned -

 

Recovery is dynamic and symptoms morph, go away, come back, all part of the strange healing process of SSRI discontinuance -

 

You got hit with the emotional flatness, that is where you were vulnerable;

 

I got hit with extreme chronic fatigue and anhedonia from Prozac WD, but both went away after a long while;

 

Now I have chronic bad head noise from the Lexapro, that is where I was vulnerable; hoping it too will go away over the next year or so.

[Theon]

Thank you for your comment clearday. Your words give me hope that I will recover my emotional abilities one day.

 

I hope your head noise from the lexapro gets better soon. 

Wish you the best.

[Theon]

Do you think that obsessing about my apathy can prevent from getting better?,

 

It is not that I have a motivation that drives me to obsess about my apathy, I don't have any drive for anything at all. However, the thing that I find drive and motivation most easily to think about is my apathy.

 

So, I don't have motivation for anything, but to try to feel a bit of motivation, I force myself to obsess about my inability to feel motivation because it is the thing that I can obsess most easily about. It's extremely diffcult to find any interests right now, but the thing that I feel most interest for (although this interest is very low) is my apathy/my withdrawal/this forum/researching about pssd/etc.

 

So, do you think that obsessing about my apathy is actually making it worse?, or is it making it better?,

Maybe I should just try to forget about it and spend less time in this forum and thinking about my apathy. What do you think?

[ChessieCat]

Simple answer ... YES!!!

[Theon]

Update:

 

Some days ago I had a nightmare and woke up feeling fear/panic and with an uncomfortable feeling in my chest, you may wonder how this can be a good new, well it is a good new because I have not felt anything close to fear since prozac caused me emotional flatness (almost a year ago), so this can mean that I am slowly recovering my emotions.

 

But that was just an isolated event, I still never feel something close to fear in my awake moments, nor I feel humour sense, etc. I told my parents that it's like suddenly I were 80 years old, and it's true, everything is soo boring, I am always serious right now, never laughing, never having fun. Before prozac I was the other way around...

 

I am 23 years old and I don't have interest in having fun, in sex, in social relationships... And my mind is completely OK living without all of those things... I know I have a lot of good years ahead... but I wonder when I will recover my drive..

 

I am thinking on doing two strategies to aid my recovery, that will actually be my new-year purposes:

1- Breathing meditation daily during 7 months (same amount of time that I was on ssri), because meditation is known to make real changes in the brain, and at this point every change that I can make will be positive.

2-No masturbation during some months to see if this makes me recover a bit of the libido (This one is going to be hard). Because I feel that I still have the physical need for sex, but not the psychological one, so maybe denying my body that need will make my mind wake up (don't know if this makes sense).

 

I would add exercise to those, but I am already exercising to a point that my resting heart rate is around 50, so I don't think I need more exercise than what I already do.

 

My life otherwise is ok, doing well with university and still have great friends.

[clearday]

It seems like I can't sleep more than 6 hours per day... I tend to wake up very early being overly activated and then I can't get back to sleep.

Also I cannot take naps because I am not tired, and I am also not that tired at the end of the day... it has been like this for some weeks now... Is this another phase of withdrawal?. I am already reading the threads about sleep and I see many people suffer from it.

 

Also I have been noticing changes in my appetite lately; I am never hungry, I have to force myself to eat... 

 

My main sypmtom, emotional flatness, is still here with me.

 

This is all part of the withdrawal, I am going through the same exact sleep pattern as you describe, for about a month now.

 

Also appetite comes and goes.

 

I can relate to your earlier post about enjoying the company of friends and being social -

 

I find that pushing myself to engage in social activities is surprisingly rewarding, as long as I don't overdo it. I do better than I thought I would.

 

Being with other people distracts us from our current struggles and shows us that much of what we are is still there, waiting to be brought out.

 

Too much time alone with this struggle makes us focus on the negatives and amplifies them.

 

Since you were on Prozac for a relatively short time, that tells me that your recovery should proceed very well.

 

Some symptoms like anhedonia and pssd may persist longer than you'd like, but they should resolve over time.

 

You will return to being largely your old self. But our old selves had their issues; most of us had some sort of depression and anxiety before we were on these drugs, which is why we went on them in the first place. 

 

Years ago, I wrote down a list of symptoms I had on my way to the psychiatrist before I went on these meds. I kept that list and read over it recently. A few of the symptoms are the same as my SSRI WD symptoms - like anxiety, depression, and insomnia. 

 

We spend so much time focusing on our WD symptoms and naturally wind up suspecting the WD on all our ills; it is confusing. 

 

Clearly the WD causes severe and unusual debilitating symptoms. But eventually we have to figure out what is our old selves coming back, good parts and bad parts.

 

We can only do that with any reliability a couple years out from last dose. Some WD symptoms persisting for three or four years.

 

Probably not that long for you, since you were on these drugs for a relatively short time.

[Theon]

 

You will return to being largely your old self. But our old selves had their issues; most of us had some sort of depression and anxiety before we were on these drugs, which is why we went on them in the first place. 

 

Years ago, I wrote down a list of symptoms I had on my way to the psychiatrist before I went on these meds. I kept that list and read over it recently. A few of the symptoms are the same as my SSRI WD symptoms - like anxiety, depression, and insomnia. 

 

We spend so much time focusing on our WD symptoms and naturally wind up suspecting the WD on all our ills; it is confusing. 

 

Clearly the WD causes severe and unusual debilitating symptoms. But eventually we have to figure out what is our old selves coming back, good parts and bad parts.

 

I strongly agree with that. Thank you Clearday, your posts are always so smart.

[Theon]

.

I wrote a post but it was too depressing, so I deleted it. 

 

Happy new year to everyone!

[Theon]

I just want to regain the ability to like girls again... I just want to stop feeling asocial... I just want to regain my hopes and dreams and stop living in this empty-state in which I don't want anything and I am ok with everything...I just want that whatever prozac did to me gets reversed... is this too much to ask for?

 

Do you think that breathing meditation daily for some months can reverse some of the changes made by the prozac?

[Sampo]

Hi! I read almost whole topic and I just wanted to say that your situation sounds very similar as mine. It is so hard to live without getting pleasure of anything. Almost only feelings what I got are frustration and the fear of being in this awful state for ever. And this is something what is too difficult to explain or maybe this condition is just too hard to understand.

[Theon]

I have not posted in a while and I want to give an update to tell my whole story.

 

I took ssri for around 10 months (two periods of 5 months) and after stopping them I was left with some persistent side effects that didnt go away.

 

I took the ssri for anxiety that could be described as a "panic disorder", "ocd", or even "ptsd" because I had traumatic events going on for a lot of years and I suspect those caused (or contributed) to my anxiety. I was also depressed because of my anxiety. But I am pretty sure that therapy and time would have healed me.

 

The main persistent problem that ssri left me was a feeling of apathy, of "just not caring" of being ok with everything, and feeling like my personality was changed.

 

My sexuality was included in that, I basically turned completelly asexual, all the inner drive of getting a girlfriend, wanting a relationship, wanting sex, etc, dissapeared. Something not normal for somebody of my age (22 yo male).

 

It was not that I was depressed, I didnt feel bad, I was just ok with everything. If somebody came to me at the streets and tried to harm me, the reaction coming from my inside would have been just smile and dont do anything.

 

10 months have passed since I stopped the ssri and now I feel my emotions and myself returning. I feel that finally those persistent side effects from the ssri are going away.

 

Now, looking at all the experience from perspective I would like to say some things to the people who are experiencing something similar:

 

The main thing I want to say is: Be patient, those side effects will go away with time. Dont get frustrated. Those side effecrs lasted 10 months to go away for me.. roughlt same amount of time I was on ssri...

[AmyK]

Thankyou for updating us! Good to hear! Best of luck, Amy

[Theon]

I am having some waves of anxiety and depression these weeks......

 

I am one year free of antidepressants and I can say for sure that I dont have any persistent apathy that I had for many months afer stopping... but now I am having some waves of anxiety and it feels bad...

 

I have been quite obsessed with PSSD during many months and I think that this obsession during so long has resulted in this anxiety that I am experiencing now...

 

hoping it will pass soon.

[scallywag]

Theon, thanks for posting with your update.  Good that your apathy has lifted. That you've got a new symptom could be considered good news, despite anxiety being uncomfortable.

 

There are some good suggestions and links about dealing with anxiety in this topic:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Keep stopping by to let us know how things are going for you.

[Theon]

The thing is that after the ssri left me with pssd and apathy, I spent a lot of months obsessing about that, feeling sorry for myself, behaving very badly with others because I felt that it was not fair.... and I suspect that I feel bad now because I spent many months that way...

[Theon]

When I just needed to be patient.... I think I am the most stupud guy in the world

[Theon]

Hello guys. I am experiencing a bad wave of anxiety (a lot of stress and head pressure) and depression (sometimes I feel very tired and feeling bad)

 

I think this wave is (at least partly) due to the fact that I was a lot of months obsessing about my apathy and treating myself badly (self-pity behaviors, putting stress to myself on purpose, etc),

 

It was because I didn't like the apathy and I tried desperately to feel something and stop that apathy, so I stressed myself as much as I could,, i know it sounds stupid,, I regret those behaviors a lot...

 

Now this anxiety and depression feel so bad,, and it's all my fault... do you think it should get better with time?

[Theon]

I am falling a bit into anxiety and depression and I think in my case this is not withdrawal anymore.. I think this is the result of my bitterness, feeling like a victim, and feeling sorry for myself behavior that I have had during almost a year because I became obsessed with my PSSD...

 

I hope this gets better with time.. and I think I will find a therapist.. but for everyone reading this: be careful with bitterness, self-pity behaviors, they lead you nowhere..

[scallywag]

While anxiety and depression have causes, Theon, they are not your fault. Very few people just "know" how to deal with anxiety-provoking or depressing situations effectively and responsibly.  Unfortunately we only know we need to have that knowledge and competence after considerable suffering.

 

Sending all the best intentions that you find a therapist who is compassionate, open and both technically and emotionally competent.

[Theon]

Thank you so much for your support Scallywag, It means a lot.

 

I hope I find a good therapist that help me deal with my problems so that I don't have to get on ssri anymore in the future. 

I am exercising everyday and following good lifestyle (I dont drink alcohol), so I think that will help too.

[Theon]

I am having such a bad time.... maybe this is actually part of withdrawal..I mean, i have had persistent apathy after leaving ssri that lasted almost a year, and the apathy finally got better 2 months ago or so, but now I am suffering anxiety and depression again..

[ChessieCat]

Hi Theon,

 

I haven't checked the other pages of your thread, so I'm not sure what has already been suggested.

 

Are you aware of Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization?  It sounds like you have had a wave, which is a really good sign.

 

It also helpful to learn Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms and being aware of Neuro Emotions

 

You might find these helpful:

1. Acceptance
2. Acceptance and Mindfulness
3. Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System
4. "Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms
5. Change cognitive framing - Redirect - Another Way
6. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for anxiety, depression
7. Cognitive Behavior Therapy lessons

[O2bhappy]

Theon-

 

I have been off Proac for almost a year and am experiencing apathy as well as many other symptoms. I can totally relate to not caring about anything. I have no motivation to do anything. I have spent this past year dwelling on my symptoms, which I know is not a good thing. I believe it has made my symptoms worse. All I kept saying is I want to feel better, but that hasn't helped me at all.

 

I started seeing a therapist in November and she has been very helpful. I am glad to hear that you are thinking about seeing a therapist. Mine has recommended mediation and it has helped. I just need to be better at practicing it.

[Theon]

Hello O2bhappy, thank you for commenting.

 

I am not feeling well lately.. I think its because I have spent such a bad year obsessing about having pssd (post ssri sexual dysfunction) and apathy after stopping the ssri that finally it has brought me down and its taking its toll now and now I feel depressed.. at this pount I just want to feel better, I dont care anymore about pssd

[O2bhappy]

Theon,

 

I can relate to obsessing about how bad you are feeling. All I kept saying everyday is that I want to feel better or when am I going to feel better. I am trying to not do that, but I find it difficult. I have been dealing with nausea for over a year and that is one of the hardest symptoms for me to deal with. When my nausea is really bad I find that I cry more and have a harder time coping. I try to mediate and allow the feelings of nausea but honestly I am done allowing the feelings and just want them to go away.

 

How is your search for a therapist?

[Theon]

Hello O2bhappy, thanks for your comment, I really appreciate it.

 

I have not searched for a therapist yet,, although I think I should do it soon..

 

I am still struggling,,, I am feeling depressed a big part of the days and also sometimes I feel very anxious and have head-aches.

 

The thing is that I am quite sure that this new wave has been caused by my bad attitude and all the bitterness and negative thinking that I have had during almost a year...

 

I mean, a year ago when I went off prozac I was feeling good and with no anxiety, but I had pssd and I felt asexual, and that was what brought me all the bitterness, also all the social pressure (the fact that all my friends were chasing girls and I was asexual because of a drug made me very angry and bitter, I am 22 years old and I felt that it was really unfair what had happened to me)

 

I was in self-pity mode and really bitter almost all the time... and I think that all that negative thinking is taking its toll now in the form of anxiety and depression... But now I have a good attitude (I want to get better and I dont feel sorry for myself anymore) so I think I should get better with time..

[Theon]

Do you think that it will get better with time if I have a good attitude?

[Theon]

I am still feeling bad and I think I am so stupid... my current state is all my fault... this last year I was ok, with no anxiety and no depression.. but I had persistent apathy and pssd from the prozac and I got so bitter and kind of self-destructive that finally I have got depressed again... and I am sure this is all my fault..

 

if I had been patient and just accept my new life with pssd, I think that now I would still be alright..

 

and now I don't know what to do... I hope a good therapist help me get well again with no need of any kind of medicines..

 

The good thing is that now I have realized that I dont care if I now feel asexual, or if I have pssd and i dont care anymore about what other people think about me (this has been another thing that has led me to get depressed, as I was continously worrying about people thinking I am gay because I didnt want to chase girls anymore),,

 

the only important thing is to be ok, and if I feel asexual and i dont like girls anymore like I used to before ssri, its ok.

[Altostrata]

Those are very good insights, Theon.

 

Perhaps one way to look at it is to relax about having sex and let your body heal. Enjoy your male and female friends for their company. Pleasant social interaction is also be healing for your nervous system.

[O2bhappy]

Theon -

 

I have also been dealing with anxiety during withdrawal. For the longest time I thought it was internal shaking, but I believe the internal shaking is causing the anxiety because I am really not anxious about anything. I do not believe that the way your are thinking about things has caused your wave. I think the waves just come and go as you heal.

 

I think we all go through a self-pity time during withdrawal, I know that I did. I am happy to hear that you are having a better attitude. I am hoping that is helping you.

 

Try not to beat yourself up about how you are feeling. Try and have self compassion for yourself.

 

I think finding a therapist to talk with would be helpful. I know my therapist has been very helpful.

[Theon]

Hello guys I am going to give an update:

 

I am still not good, the wave that hit me in July is not leaving,, I still think that this wave when I am already 1 year off ssri has been caused by al the stress that I had last year because I thought that my life was over because of pssd, I spent the whole year streesing myself out, and that stress for so long in my fragile nervous system caused my current wave.(fragile because of the 2 periods of ssri that I went through in the past).

 

My symptoms are irritability, headache, neck pain, depersonalization and derealization, depression at times..... To sum up, I am much worse than last year when I only had pssd and apathy.. but this is my fault because I think that if I had not stressed so much about the pssd and apathy that I had last year, I wouldn't be so bad right now...

 

I will hang on and try to stay away from stress hoping this gets better... but I think that I still have some bad months ahead.

[O2bhappy]

Theon -

 

Dont' be hard on yourself. You did not cause your feelings. Going off Prozac and being in withdrawal did. I am still struggling with symptoms and I even have new symptoms. Who would have thought being off this medicine for a year that we would still be dealing with symptoms from taking that medicine.

 

From what I have read on this forum we need to be kind to ourselves and not beat ourselves up. I know easier said then done. We need to live in the moment and get through today and not what we did in the past. It is kind of funny for me to say this because I live everyday with regret and guilt from taking the medicine for so many years. I need to listen to my own advice.

 

Hang in there.

[Theon]

Theon -

 

Dont' be hard on yourself. You did not cause your feelings. Going off Prozac and being in withdrawal did. I am still struggling with symptoms and I even have new symptoms. Who would have thought being off this medicine for a year that we would still be dealing with symptoms from taking that medicine.

 

From what I have read on this forum we need to be kind to ourselves and not beat ourselves up. I know easier said then done. We need to live in the moment and get through today and not what we did in the past. It is kind of funny for me to say this because I live everyday with regret and guilt from taking the medicine for so many years. I need to listen to my own advice.

 

Hang in there.

 

Thank you very much for your kind words O2bhappy, they are very appreciated.

 

I am still suffering the same symptoms... this wave that started last July is not leaving... bad headaches, diziness, cognitive problems... and I am quite sure that it has been caused by the major stress, (in my already sensitive nervous system), that I had last year when I obsessed so much about the pssd that I had.... but life is about learning... I am meditating everyday and taking it easy with no stress and hoping this will get better in a few months... at least I am sleeping well and I feel ok some hours every day, 

[O2bhappy]

Theon -

 

I am glad that I could offer you some kind words.

 

I am glad to hear that you are sleeping, that certainly helps. I am also glad to hear that you are meditating and that is helping. I am sorry you are still in a bad wave, they are no fun.

 

I have been dealing with a great amount of stress and sadness. My golden retriever passed away last week. I am devastated by her passing away. She provided me so much comfort during my withdrawal and now she is gone and I don't have that "crutch". I don't know how I am going to get through this without her. I have developed new symptoms since she passed away. I have a lot of weird sensations in my head, including tingling and headaches. I have also noticed the tingling in my face. I am sure the stress of losing my beloved companion has caused these symptoms. It is just hard and frustrating.

[Theon]

wow, O2bhappy, I am so so sorry about that . Pets are such good companions,,, better than people sometimes..

 

Many hugs to you, and thank you very much for visiting my thread and making me everything a little bit easier

[O2bhappy]

Theon -

 

I wanted to check in and see how you are feeling.