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Withdrawal causing repetitive or intrusive thoughts, rumination, and increased panic?


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ADMIN NOTE Also see

 

Neuro-emotion

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD: Repetitive, intrusive thoughts, compulsive behaviors

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

and other topics in Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms


 

Does anyone else get intrusive thought "voices" that you know aren't your own concious thoughts? For me, It happens constantly lately where It's like part of my mind is a hypochondriac/super fearful voice, one part is a super common sense voice, and the rest is just my own thoughts. A funny way of looking at it is it's my meds trying to influence me but failing (--The ativan is "trying" to make me anxious by thinking "Oh god, I'm about to have a heart attack!") But I'm getting better at accepting it's not my actual feelings. Maybe I'm just overthinking it, but it's really scaring me: my original "diagnosis" years ago was "schizoeffective" (later changed to "bipolar"-- not that I believe in either). But I can't help worrying, am I losing my mind? Has anyone else had this symptom and found a way to cope w. it or make it go away?

Edited by Altostrata
Added admin note

Goldy's (18yr old) history:

07-08: Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Cymbalta--All withdrawn abrubtly. Only had bad w/d symptoms from Cymbalta. 08-'11- Prescribed Geodon, took until October '11, gradually withdrawn randomly from 120mg-70mg , naturopath helped w/d the rest with GF diet and neuroscience :/.

09-now: Lorazepam, doctor ct'ed from 3mg in Oct '11 until Dec '11 [HORRID!], reinstated to 3mg.

Zoloft: overstimulation effects on dec 20th '11, naturopath ct'ed it, reinstated to 25mg

Now: Suffering terrible symptoms continously from 08-now, now on 20mg Zoloft, 3mg Ativan.

-PLEASE HELP ME FIND A DOC! PM ME.-

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1601-goldy-reduced-zoloft-too-fast/page__gopid__15777

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Goldy,

 

The voice in my head keeps telling me that I'll never be well and that there is only one way to end my hell. I don't know if it's just my own thinking but I believe it is. I think "I don't want to be like this for any considerable amount of time". I'm very unhappy with my life like this. I try to change the channel but then I start thinking about it all over again. I don't know how long I can stand feeling like this. I think I'm losing hope of any better future. I want to believe I will get better, I just can't. The voice telling me these things is louder than the ringing in my ears today.

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No, I've not experienced that.

 

Can you talk a bit more about it. These "voices" do they feel like actual voices, like other people talking and you are hearing the words they are speaking? Or do you just mean you're having an inner dialogue with yourself. I'm a bit confused so I hope you describe it a bit more.

 

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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Barbarannamated

Goldy,

I think I understand. The thoughts/voices in my head get very persistent in reminding me of all that is negative about my life. I do recognize the thoughts as my own. Sometimes I'm successful at changing channels and other times the same 'bad news' tape keeps playing over and over (rumination). I have alot of time on my hands and realize that is a major factor to my negative thoughts spiraling out of control. Have you identified any triggers or times when it's worse?

Alex posed an important question about differentiating if they are your own thoughts/voices (or mom, dad, other familiar person) or strange voices. Also, are the voices telling you to do anything dangerous/harmful? FWIW, I think some people hear thought/voices much more clearly than others. Keep in mind that most of these meds have blunted our senses and emotional reactions. We are hypersensitive to everything, including our own thoughts/voices. 'Emotional rebound' of sorts.

The Neuroemotion thread has been VERY helpful to me.

 

What was the diagnosis of schizoaffective based on? Are you familiar with the Hearing Voices Movement and Hearing Voices Network?

 

As I write this, the music video for Knee Deep came on -- it is a song that can pull my mind out of a bad place every time. I'm going to start a list of 'good news channels' -- anything that can distract me even if only a few minutes. Often it's that initial break from the ruminative cycle that allows me to get traction and out of quicksand.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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The "voices" in my head aren't anything that I would call psychotic-- It's basically intrusive thoughts that I don't recognize as reflecting my own feelings. For example, I might keep getting the thought "Get up! You shouldn't stay in bed right now!" When there's no need or reason for me to be thinking it-- I just wanted to sleep (lol). Fortunatley, it's mostly thoughts that would be helpful if I actually acted on them, so that's not so bad. It's probably related in some way to dp/dr.. but I don't know for sure.

Goldy's (18yr old) history:

07-08: Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Cymbalta--All withdrawn abrubtly. Only had bad w/d symptoms from Cymbalta. 08-'11- Prescribed Geodon, took until October '11, gradually withdrawn randomly from 120mg-70mg , naturopath helped w/d the rest with GF diet and neuroscience :/.

09-now: Lorazepam, doctor ct'ed from 3mg in Oct '11 until Dec '11 [HORRID!], reinstated to 3mg.

Zoloft: overstimulation effects on dec 20th '11, naturopath ct'ed it, reinstated to 25mg

Now: Suffering terrible symptoms continously from 08-now, now on 20mg Zoloft, 3mg Ativan.

-PLEASE HELP ME FIND A DOC! PM ME.-

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1601-goldy-reduced-zoloft-too-fast/page__gopid__15777

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Barbarannamated

Aaaah.....the 'should' voice. Yep, very familiar with that one. Knows just how to push my guilt button. :-(

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Hi Goldy. I hear voices but I've been successful at getting rid of them by taking a few 500 mg Niacin a day. Works like a charm for me! At first I was taking about 7 a day, but now I can do fine with just 3. If you want to try it, you might want to start out with just one and see how you handle it while in w/d since many are sensitive to supplements. See how you react then increase it until the voices go away.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Oh wow, didn't know niacin could do that. I have some at home I never took. Thanks for the tip :).

Goldy's (18yr old) history:

07-08: Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Cymbalta--All withdrawn abrubtly. Only had bad w/d symptoms from Cymbalta. 08-'11- Prescribed Geodon, took until October '11, gradually withdrawn randomly from 120mg-70mg , naturopath helped w/d the rest with GF diet and neuroscience :/.

09-now: Lorazepam, doctor ct'ed from 3mg in Oct '11 until Dec '11 [HORRID!], reinstated to 3mg.

Zoloft: overstimulation effects on dec 20th '11, naturopath ct'ed it, reinstated to 25mg

Now: Suffering terrible symptoms continously from 08-now, now on 20mg Zoloft, 3mg Ativan.

-PLEASE HELP ME FIND A DOC! PM ME.-

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1601-goldy-reduced-zoloft-too-fast/page__gopid__15777

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  • 9 months later...

Does anyone else have the intrusive thoughts? Its horrible. I feel crazy. People I've talked too that's been through withdrawal said they go away just like everything else. I sure hope so. I feel like this is me now.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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yes..it's certainly common in withdrawal and has been for me too at various points in the journey...

 

a friend of mine wrote this article on coping with intrusive thoughts and other things of the psyche we might not be happy about...

 

Coping with intrusive thoughts, impulses, voices etc…

http://beyondmeds.com/2010/07/05/coping-with-intrusive-thoughts-impulses-voices-etc/

 

I did a lot of work with all my symptoms...mental and physical along these lines and still do.

 

Hope that helps.

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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YES! very much so...

 

I'm still sick but that is not one of my issues really at all anymore.

 

we do get better and things are always changing...

 

someone once said to me, "be curious about your experience"

 

that may sound just really ugly when the experience is sheer hell, but I took that to heart and even if ugly this stuff is fascinating...it's helped me heal...even if it sounds counter-intuitive...or maybe BECAUSE it is counter-intuitive. Our impulse is to reject our experience...to resist it...and those things make us suffer more...

 

in any case it's a tough journey we find ourselves on, but I have found some value in learning to cope that goes beyond just the coping...if that makes any sense...

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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Thank you gia you made me feel better. Someone else told me its always changing too. I have gotten better but I'm still in it. I hate it. I'm 7 mos off. I feel like I've been through the worst of it but my thoughts are horrible. I feel nuts. I know its just my brain misfiring. It still sucks. What are your symptoms now?

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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well...I was bedridden for two years...so I'm still very sick and mostly homebound, but my head is clear...AS A BELL...and I am grateful and have no regrets...

 

I am very proactive and have lots of healing practices...so it's changing...it's just been glacial for me.

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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no, but I was on 6 drugs...for over 2 decades at very high doses...I'm not the norm...in many different ways...I came off every class of psych drug...

 

this is the story if you're interested: http://wp.rxisk.org/monicas-story-the-aftermath-of-polypsychopharmacology/

 

now that I've got the concise history written down in one place I can share it

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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I just read that the other day! Wow! Why can't you leave the house now if you don't mind me asking?

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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I'm sick...it's like i have a severe flu much of the time...and a host of other issues too. Severe autonomic dysregulation that affects me in numerous ways...my equilibrium is very messed up which makes getting in a car impossible quite often.

 

but more than anything it's like having the worst flu you can imagine a good part of the time. I really don't know how to explain better than that to anyone who has not experienced it.

 

it's not as bad as it used to be...because frankly at it's height it was like having severe flu times 1,000 or more...insane really.

 

I'm much better now.

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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Yes, the thoughts will go away. I haven't had these kind of emotional or mental symptoms for about a year now. I've only been dealing the last year with physical symptoms. I know that when you are having those thoughts, that it feels like it won't ever go away. But it does. Hang in there.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Does anyone else have the intrusive thoughts? Its horrible. I feel crazy. People I've talked too that's been through withdrawal said they go away just like everything else. I sure hope so. I feel like this is me now.

 

Yes. I had them. Actually, my thoughts were wickedly intrusive -- I couldn't control graphic and disgusting images and thoughts -- why I took psych drugs, particularly early in my career while taking Zyprexa.

 

I still have them to a degree. I've mostly concurred them. Time helped.

 

But the main thing that helped me was doing something. Like physically doing something. Thinking vs thinking is not a good fight. But singing vs thinking... cooking vs thinking ... talking vs thinking ... touching my toes vs thinking ... the action can break my intrusive thought pattern. Singing and humming are especially effective for me. So is typing. But anything will work if I have to think to DO IT. So things like driving which I can do auto-pilot is not effective.

 

Again, moving around, physically doing stuff really helps me when I am having tough thoughts. Moving Upright > Standing > Sitting > Lying Down... Realize though I do not mean running marathons or tossing the shotput around. I myself suffer weakness and rest plentifully which supports my health as well.

 

I'll propose an exercise: Try to write a forum post or blog entry without using 'to be' verbs. After a sentence or two the frustrations overcome the intrusions, for me they do.

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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  • 1 year later...

Hey guys!


 


So I have started my taper off of Lexapro 20 mg, for Panic Disorder and Pure O. When I spoke to my psych she said to just drop from 20 to 10. I of course looked at her like she had lost her mind! I have already quit cold turkey once and after 3-4 months of it, I had a very severe panic attack and went back on. Needless to say, I am doing this the right way now!


 


I started at 18 mg, and have been here for almost 3 months. Of course, it isn't exact, due to it being a pill and a wonky pill cutter.  :)


So far, I have felt great. But then I started my period. Of course I was emotional, but that wasn't the problem.


I have been having intense intrusive thoughts about dying. Yet, the second these thoughts manifest, I am instantly in a panic. Why? Because ONE- I do not like the thought of death, and TWO- I don't like the thought of harming myself. Of course, my conscious side is like "Hello! you are afraid of dying, classic panic, so calm down you're not going to hurt yourself," And I don't plan it out or think of ways to do it. I just simply think ok, im going to die soon and it may or may not be at my own hands. And it freaks me out. I think it is a combo of my hormones and the weaning. 


 


Please tell me this is normal! LOL.


I can tell it is just a combo of things going on in my head, because I can usually talk myself down and after a bit of dwelling on it, I forget about it. 


But again, is this normal?


 


I hate how you can think of one thing, and it spiral into something horrible.


 


Everyone thinks of death and how it may happen, or when, or who will be at your funeral, or who will even notice, things like that. I just take it and run with it and get myself worked up over nothing.  Oh to have an "un-medicated" brain again!  :)


Kuppy :wub: 

 

-Lexapro 10 mg 2008-2012

- Lexapro 20 mg 2013- August 2015

Weened gradually for over a year and a half.

Currently seeing a holistic doctor for withdrawal symptoms, as well as overall health. 

 

 

 
 
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So sorry Kuppy!  Intrusive thoughts are horrible!

 

My therapist tells me that intrusive thoughts are totally normal--everyone gets them all of the time.  People with OCD have a harder time ignoring them, though.  Cognitive Behavior Therapy (basically forcing yourself to think these horrible thoughts until they are boring) can help.  You can do it yourself, but if it seems daunting, a trained professional can help.  Ugh...it was the hardest thing I ever did and no way could I do it myself but I did get through it...and no more intrusive thoughts!

 

You are totally normal and can get better!

January 2014 Zoloft 150 mg

May 2014 Started tapering

January 2015  Zoloft 54 mg

January 2016 18 mg

January 2017 12 mg

January 2018 7 mg CRASH! 

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  • 5 months later...
DazedNConfused

Hi

I'm not sure if this is a common thing in WD, or even related, but I'll ask anyway.

 

Recently (Like, in the last 6 months or so), I've been catching myself having horrific thoughts from seemingly innocent triggers. Almost like in those horror movies where the protagonist has premonitions, and it's so lifelike and horrifying to them, but then the camera cuts to everyone around them going about their daily business without a care in the world. One movie that springs to mind is Final Destination, for anyone who has seen it. Its just like that.

 

Here's an example:

I may be sitting in my car at a red light, and a pedestrian starts to cross the road. I'll be watching them walk across the road and all of a sudden something snaps in my mind and I'll literally see a car come screaming around the corner, and taking out the pedestrian. Then I start to think "what would I do in that situation?" And the movie in my head switches to me jumping out of the car, calling emergency services, picking up body parts off the road, wading through pools of blood, etc, etc. Then, as quickly as the thoughts came, they disappear, leaving me stunned and disorientated for a few seconds, followed by period of time wondering where the hell that came from.

Anything can trigger them. From looking at a flower, to watching my daughter eat dinner. It's all very unnerving because the visions are so realistic and they can appear at any time, and disappear just as quickly.

 

I would like to point out after all that that I have never experienced anything like this before. Secondly, I haven't been watching too many horror movies/TV shows - I rarely watch them as I have zero interest in them. (Give me a rom-com any day!). Thirdly, for the record and for anyone that may be thinking it, I in no way believe that these ARE actually premonitions, or that I can see into the future, or anything like that. There is nothing supernatural about this situation at all. I'm not crazy.... ???? I know they're not real, even at the time, so it's not some type of psychosis.

 

Do you guys think it could be some sort or brain damage? Or healing? I feel like many of my other symptoms are improving/disappearing, but this has just appeared out of nowhere. It's so strange and bizarre and scary... Not to mention incredibly annoying!

Drug history

  • On and off ADs about 3 times in a 10 year period - All CT with no problems
  • 6 months of ADs during pregnancy (can't remember what type or dosage) - CT a week after birth with no problems
  • 2 years of alcohol abuse - CT with moderate withdrawals
  • Approx 3 weeks of Remeron (Mirtazapine) 15mg - CT with massive withdrawals
  • One dose of Cymbalta 30mg (?) - Caused severe panic attack and binned them
  • Clean of all drugs (except nicotine) since Jan 30 2013
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  • Moderator Emeritus

I've experienced this, not so much now, but a while back I was having these kinds horrific images or thought patterns triggered sometimes.  It sounds a little bit like intrusive thoughts, which we have a topic on*topics merged

 

I think its probably related to changes taking place due to withdrawal and recovery and will pass.

 

When I would suddenly get these shocking images/ideas, I would do my best to shut them down, because they definitely increased anxiety and stress, which none of us need as we are trying to heal. Its not always easy though.

 

If you can catch it as soon as it starts happening, you could say to yourself something like "these are just thoughts, they are not real, reality is what's happening right now" then look around at what's really going on to bring yourself back to reality.

Edited by Petunia
updated

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm 6-7 months off meds and this sell happens to me, but it happens less often and, when it does, I am better able to talk myself down than I used to be.

**I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, merely personal experience
***Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-4 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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  • 3 weeks later...
DazedNConfused

Thanks. I'm just about to hit the 2.5 year mark, and these things didn't start until about 6 months ago. I feel like that part of WD should be over and done with. Feels like I'm going crazy.

Drug history

  • On and off ADs about 3 times in a 10 year period - All CT with no problems
  • 6 months of ADs during pregnancy (can't remember what type or dosage) - CT a week after birth with no problems
  • 2 years of alcohol abuse - CT with moderate withdrawals
  • Approx 3 weeks of Remeron (Mirtazapine) 15mg - CT with massive withdrawals
  • One dose of Cymbalta 30mg (?) - Caused severe panic attack and binned them
  • Clean of all drugs (except nicotine) since Jan 30 2013
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  • 1 month later...

Im really sorry if I havent posted this in the right place, Im not thinking straight right now. Have updated my thread, maybe someone with experience of paxil and panic attacks can help me? My panic is way out of control! Im freaking out over everything at the moment in places that wouldn't usually cause me any issues.I love driving- do it all the time for my job and now im.having awful panic attacks on the motorway - I dont understand why?!? I think im going to loose control- have major impulsive thoughts ( like jumping out into the traffic or leaping from a bridge) and its just horrific. The rnoughts then lead to massive panic. I have even started avoiding some roads. It feels so much more than just a 'thought' like its an urge, a compulsion. :-( please help, has anyone had similar? I feel so alone and afraid right now :-(

2002 started 20mg Seroxat for anxiety. Attempted 1st withdrawal in Autumn of 2006. Went to 0 in around a month-hell. Massive crash. Reinstated.

 

May 2013 started 10% taper with liquid seroxat as follows:

May 2013- 18mg                Aug 2015- 7.7mg           Jan 2017- 3.2mg

July 2013- 16.2mg             Oct 2015 -7mg               (This is where it gets a bit hazy..

Aug 2013- 14.6mg             Nov 2015- 6.4mg            I continued to do a slow wean but

Oct 2013- 13.2mg              Jan 2016- 5.6mg            didn't keep records of all my further

Jan 2014- 11.8mg              Mar 2016- 5.2mg           reductions, have filled in what I remember)

March 2014-10.6mg          May 2016- 4.6mg          Aug 2018- 0.8mg

May 2014- 9.6mg               July 2016- 4.2mg          June 2019- 0mg

Dec 2014-8.6mg                 Nov 2016- 3.6mg         

 

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  • Administrator

Hi, thinkpink. I merged similar topics.

 

Yes, those feelings are common in withdrawal syndrome. It's a "neuro-emotion ," exaggerated by withdrawal.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks Alto, have been laying low for a while, pretty unpleasant to have such weird thoughts hopefully they will go. I dont know much about neuroemotion, will check it out.

2002 started 20mg Seroxat for anxiety. Attempted 1st withdrawal in Autumn of 2006. Went to 0 in around a month-hell. Massive crash. Reinstated.

 

May 2013 started 10% taper with liquid seroxat as follows:

May 2013- 18mg                Aug 2015- 7.7mg           Jan 2017- 3.2mg

July 2013- 16.2mg             Oct 2015 -7mg               (This is where it gets a bit hazy..

Aug 2013- 14.6mg             Nov 2015- 6.4mg            I continued to do a slow wean but

Oct 2013- 13.2mg              Jan 2016- 5.6mg            didn't keep records of all my further

Jan 2014- 11.8mg              Mar 2016- 5.2mg           reductions, have filled in what I remember)

March 2014-10.6mg          May 2016- 4.6mg          Aug 2018- 0.8mg

May 2014- 9.6mg               July 2016- 4.2mg          June 2019- 0mg

Dec 2014-8.6mg                 Nov 2016- 3.6mg         

 

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Im into month 12 of WD . Those intrusive thoughts were absolutely the most difficult part of WD. I feel for all my brothers and sisters on here dealing with this crap! For me they have let up alot in the last month. They got intense around month 9 or so and have really faded into this month. Every morning I wake up with a surge of cortisol or adrenaline which feels very disturbing but they are not the same intrusive thoughts. These feelings will all fade for us in time ! Trust the universe thats all we can do and be as happy as you can.

Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant  30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently.  using zantac as needed.  Benzo is currently 0.10mg 

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Im into month 12 of WD . Those intrusive thoughts were absolutely the most difficult part of WD. I feel for all my brothers and sisters on here dealing with this crap! For me they have let up alot in the last month. They got intense around month 9 or so and have really faded into this month. Every morning I wake up with a surge of cortisol or adrenaline which feels very disturbing but they are not the same intrusive thoughts. These feelings will all fade for us in time ! Trust the universe thats all we can do and be as happy as you can.

Mort,

 

Thanks for the encouraging words, they mean a lot concerning these intrusive thoughts and healing from withdrawal.

20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months
Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014
Found this forum the last day of 2014
The secret is to keep going!  Time will heal.


 
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  • 1 month later...

No problem Pug!

Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant  30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently.  using zantac as needed.  Benzo is currently 0.10mg 

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I was just about to post something asking if people experienced episodes of freaking out over existential things like, "what happens when I die????"  Seems I do this in varying degrees from about 3pm to 7pm every day, then I'm fine after that. It's kind of ridiculous and comical how it comes on schedule like that.

September 2014 to July 2015 - 20 mg Lexapro, 30mg Mirtazipine

 

August 2015 to November 2016- 10mg Lexapro, 30 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2016 to Nov. 2017 - 10mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2017 to Mach 2018 - 5mg/2.5mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

 

Mach 2018 to Dec. 2018 - 0mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi

I'm not sure if this is a common thing in WD, or even related, but I'll ask anyway.

 

Recently (Like, in the last 6 months or so), I've been catching myself having horrific thoughts from seemingly innocent triggers. Almost like in those horror movies where the protagonist has premonitions, and it's so lifelike and horrifying to them, but then the camera cuts to everyone around them going about their daily business without a care in the world. One movie that springs to mind is Final Destination, for anyone who has seen it. Its just like that.

 

Here's an example:

I may be sitting in my car at a red light, and a pedestrian starts to cross the road. I'll be watching them walk across the road and all of a sudden something snaps in my mind and I'll literally see a car come screaming around the corner, and taking out the pedestrian. Then I start to think "what would I do in that situation?" And the movie in my head switches to me jumping out of the car, calling emergency services, picking up body parts off the road, wading through pools of blood, etc, etc. Then, as quickly as the thoughts came, they disappear, leaving me stunned and disorientated for a few seconds, followed by period of time wondering where the hell that came from.

Anything can trigger them. From looking at a flower, to watching my daughter eat dinner. It's all very unnerving because the visions are so realistic and they can appear at any time, and disappear just as quickly.

 

I would like to point out after all that that I have never experienced anything like this before. Secondly, I haven't been watching too many horror movies/TV shows - I rarely watch them as I have zero interest in them. (Give me a rom-com any day!). Thirdly, for the record and for anyone that may be thinking it, I in no way believe that these ARE actually premonitions, or that I can see into the future, or anything like that. There is nothing supernatural about this situation at all. I'm not crazy.... I know they're not real, even at the time, so it's not some type of psychosis.

 

Do you guys think it could be some sort or brain damage? Or healing? I feel like many of my other symptoms are improving/disappearing, but this has just appeared out of nowhere. It's so strange and bizarre and scary... Not to mention incredibly annoying!

I was just wondered how you were doing? This is exactly what I have been going through!  It does come from nowhere and usually when I am feeling quite relaxed almost as if my brain things ha ha you thought you could escape me!! I blame it on my overactive imagination but its scary because if makes life feel very unreal!!

 

Please reply if you see this I would love to know if this has stopped.  I am three months off medication.

Started Contraceptive pill at 14 years of age

Started Prozac 1998 Various different anti-depressants  including Sertraline

contraceptive pill stopped 2010 - given mini-pill - stopped due to no periods

Injured back 2010 - given Co-codamol for back pain

Started Mirtazapine 2011 - intolerance to Mirtazapine (suicidal thoughts, weight gain, memory problems

Changed to Citalopram 20mg - reduced to 10mg after a while

2013 - given Diazepam 2mg - for anxiety to be taken as and when (I abused them)

taken anti-histamines for years for sinus problems

August 2015 - after small tapering stopped taking citalopram

Cut down on Co-codamol stopped taking anti-histamines

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  • 1 month later...

I was just about to post something asking if people experienced episodes of freaking out over existential things like, "what happens when I die????" Seems I do this in varying degrees from about 3pm to 7pm every day, then I'm fine after that. It's kind of ridiculous and comical how it comes on schedule like that.

I used to have these sporadic in my life before any meds. I think these are normal thoughts to ponder existence.

Now, in withdrawal I sometimes wish I was dead. Strange how that turns around...

10/2012 - Lexapro 10mg

2013/2014 - Started experiencing visual disturbances, like visual processing was slow, feeling drunk all the time

9/2014 - Lexapro 5mg, didn't notice any withdrawal, drunk feeling went away

2015 - Drunk feeling came back

5/2015 - Lexapro 2.5mg - 1.25mg - insomnia started

6/2015 - Lexapro 0.625mg

7/2015 - Severe symptoms started, in desperation on advice of pdoc restarted 5mg Lexapro - total disaster

8/2015 - Lexapro 5mg, disoriented, sleepless zombie

9/2015 - Very reluctantly started transitioning to Zoloft

as of 10/10/2105 - no lexapro, 37.5mg Zoloft

12/14/2015 - 35mg zoloft, 1/16/2016 - 34mg

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  • Altostrata changed the title to Withdrawal causing repetitive or intrusive thoughts, rumination, and increased panic?
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