Msdee Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 I don't even know where to begin and I may be one of the worst cases I've seen on here with my plethora of drugs I'm on and my life situation that seems to make it close to impossible to take care of myself. Currently I'm about 8 days (I think) cold turkey off lexapro 10 mgs. I tried tapering but the withdrawals started as soon as I started tapering and then I reinstated back to 10mgs, then went cold turkey because the headache, sinus pressure,anxiety,anger,sadness,tooth and jaw pain were unreal. Of course being cold turkey has not cleared up any of that and if anything it's worse. To add insult to injury literally, and being absolutely stupid I decided to start the process of having a bunch of dental work done while in the throws of withdrawals. I am having 8 veneers, 2 root canals and had my right canine (eye tooth) pulled so not putting two and two together I thought all this dental work was the cause of my withdrawal symptoms. I even went on a heavy duty antibiotic because I thought I had a sinus infection. My dentist has been at a lose as to whats wrong with me because I should not be having such insane headaches,neck and jaw pain a month later from the dental work. This is all lexapro withdrawalls!!!! I also have a script for adderall ir 20mgs twice daily but I stopped that 2 days ago to see if that would decrease my anxiety, it hasn't seemed to. I want off the adderall also but I'm now thinking I can only manage one thing at a time. I have xanax 1mg for occasional use but lately I've needed it almost every 2 days. I luckily do not have a addiction or dependency on benzos. I have Ambein for sleep that typically I only use maybe twice a week but since all this started I've used it almost nightly:( I also have 800 mg Motrin, 5 mg Vicodin that was prescribed for the dental work but actually came in handy for this insane headache from lexapro wds. To make matters more stressful I have a 6 month old sweet baby, 18 month old teething sweet baby and a hormonal 11 year old sweet girl:) THANK GOD I have a amazing, supportive husband but he can only handle so much. Where do I begin?! I have been determined to keep going since I made it this far but I'm not getting much better. My Pdoc is all about drugs so he will say I need to try something new. I know this was a stupid, irresponsible idea to go ct off lexapro I certainly underestimated this drug. I need support and should I not use the Ambein or xanax to combat the insomnia from the lexapro ct? I'm dizzy, foggy and my entire face hurts from tension and anxiety:( 1998-2004 various antidepressants/xanax all prescribed by a PA. 2005 pregnant obgyn prescribes Zoloft during my pregnancy stopped abruptly 2006. Still have a xanax script but rarely used it. 2006/2007 started lexapro 10mgs went cold turkey 2008. Using xanax occasionally 2008 off and on lexapro again 10 mgs 2009/2010 Zoloft again do not remember dose. Quit abruptly from bad side effects. Xanax on occasion. 2012 -I go in for a psychiatric evaluation for the first time and am diagnosed with ADD started wellbutrin do not remember dose I finally felt cured, everything was so much crisper,I felt confident,motivated and amazing until side effects hit 6 weeks in with dose increase. Extreme anxiety,irritation and hair fell out in clumps. Stopped abruptly and went to therapy. 2013-therapists diagnoses me with PTSD from a very hard childhood with mentally ill parents and agrees to ADD diagnosis. I'm drug free at this time but the therapy puts me in a deep,dark depression. 2014-pregnant drug free during pregnancy but completely addicted to CAFFEINE. I felt amazing in this pregnancy. Immediately after delivering obgyn puts me on lexapro 10 mgs and I see a new Pdoc who prescribes Addreall ir 20 mgs twice daily but I did not like the crash so then OXYCODONE 5mgs 3x daily for off label, drug resistant treatment for ADD/anxiety. FELT AMAZING for 3 months. Got pregnant again and went cold turkey off oxy stayed on lexapro 10 mgs. April 2015-This is when it gets bad. Give birth, decide to try the adderall 20mg 2x daily again feel pretty good. Then discover KRATOM use this for adderall crash instead of xanax. Currently 1 week ct off lexapro 10mgs after unsuccessful taper for a month,adderall here and there, tapering kratom and Ambein for sleep. Xanax 1mg nightly Aug/Sept now .50mg-1mgs every other night. Hot mess. I have a history on or off meds with ADD like symptoms ( note* extremely impulsive,scattered,can not stick to anything long including meds,exercise,diets,hobbies,relationships you name it) I also have dyslexia and have very strong senses such as empathy,sound,smell and intuition. Link to comment
Msdee Posted October 18, 2015 Author Share Posted October 18, 2015 I just gave up and took 2.5 mgs. I used a pill cutter from walgreens which makes me nervous because I feel that they do not break them evenly and also destroys the time release coating . I couldn't take this pain, anxiety and sadness any longer! I will call my Pdoc tomorrow to let him know what I have done, he is not even the one who prescribed the lexapro it was my obgyn who told me it would be safe during pregnancy and help with postpartum. This has been one of the worst months of my life I pray that I did not make a huge mistake reinstating but I can't imagine anything could be worse than what this past week cold turkey has been. 1998-2004 various antidepressants/xanax all prescribed by a PA. 2005 pregnant obgyn prescribes Zoloft during my pregnancy stopped abruptly 2006. Still have a xanax script but rarely used it. 2006/2007 started lexapro 10mgs went cold turkey 2008. Using xanax occasionally 2008 off and on lexapro again 10 mgs 2009/2010 Zoloft again do not remember dose. Quit abruptly from bad side effects. Xanax on occasion. 2012 -I go in for a psychiatric evaluation for the first time and am diagnosed with ADD started wellbutrin do not remember dose I finally felt cured, everything was so much crisper,I felt confident,motivated and amazing until side effects hit 6 weeks in with dose increase. Extreme anxiety,irritation and hair fell out in clumps. Stopped abruptly and went to therapy. 2013-therapists diagnoses me with PTSD from a very hard childhood with mentally ill parents and agrees to ADD diagnosis. I'm drug free at this time but the therapy puts me in a deep,dark depression. 2014-pregnant drug free during pregnancy but completely addicted to CAFFEINE. I felt amazing in this pregnancy. Immediately after delivering obgyn puts me on lexapro 10 mgs and I see a new Pdoc who prescribes Addreall ir 20 mgs twice daily but I did not like the crash so then OXYCODONE 5mgs 3x daily for off label, drug resistant treatment for ADD/anxiety. FELT AMAZING for 3 months. Got pregnant again and went cold turkey off oxy stayed on lexapro 10 mgs. April 2015-This is when it gets bad. Give birth, decide to try the adderall 20mg 2x daily again feel pretty good. Then discover KRATOM use this for adderall crash instead of xanax. Currently 1 week ct off lexapro 10mgs after unsuccessful taper for a month,adderall here and there, tapering kratom and Ambein for sleep. Xanax 1mg nightly Aug/Sept now .50mg-1mgs every other night. Hot mess. I have a history on or off meds with ADD like symptoms ( note* extremely impulsive,scattered,can not stick to anything long including meds,exercise,diets,hobbies,relationships you name it) I also have dyslexia and have very strong senses such as empathy,sound,smell and intuition. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted October 18, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 18, 2015 Msdee, welcome to SA - you have come to the right place! I'm sure one of the moderators will come along soon to give you guidance, but in the meantime, it would be very helpful if you filled out your signature, including what you are taking, when you started, how much, what changes, basically following other folks' signatures as examples. Instructions for filling out your signature can be found here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/#entry7719 How long were you on Lexapro? Cold turkey off Lexapro can lead to protracted WD, so you may very well need to reinstate again and then do a slow taper from there. You can read about tapering here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1024-why-taper-by-10-of-my-dosage/ As for the other drugs, it depends on how long you have been using them. If you have been using them regularly, then you may need to taper them as well; however, it is recommended that you only taper one at a time to minimize harm. You can learn more about that here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2207-taking-multiple-psych-drugs-which-drug-to-taper-first/ Here is a thread for tapering Lexapro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/406-tips-for-tapering-off-lexapro-escitalopram/ Hopefully, this will give you a starting point. I am sorry that you are suffering so much but am glad you found this site. There's lots of support to be had here, and know that you are not alone! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted October 18, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 18, 2015 Welcome Msdee, I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I agree, you are on quite a cocktail of drugs, but not the worst I've seen. We need some more information about your drug and withdrawal history. How did you try and taper the lexapro previously? How long were you on it? What other drugs are you currently taking, dose and how often? It would be great if you would put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature. Doing this helps people understand your context, it appears below each of your posts. Here are instructions for how to do it: http://survivinganti...your-signature/ It sounds like you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms from going CT from lexapro, unless its a life threatening situation, no one should ever just stop taking psychotropic medications, they need to be tapered. While I've been writing this, you have added another post and I see you have reinstated at 2.5mg. Reinstatement was what I was going to suggest, I probably would have recommended 5mg though, but try at 2.5mg and see how you go. According to medical knowledge, reinstatement is the only way to alleviate withdrawal. Reinstatement is best done immediately upon appearance of symptoms. The more time that passes, the less likely it is to work. Once you have stabilized on a low dose of the drug, then a slower, safer taper can be started. Please read through this: About reinstating and stabilizing to stop withdrawal symptoms We suggest reducing by no more than 10% of the current dose every 4 weeks, this reduces the risk of withdrawal symptoms arising. Please read through this which will explain why: Why taper by 10% of my dosage? See: Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram) SquirrellyGirl, has also given you some of the same links to look at and some good advice about only tapering one drug at a time. Please put ALL the drugs you take in the drugs.com Drug Interactions Checker at: Drug Interactions Checker You may post the results here in your thread. If you take xanax or ambien regularly, you will become dependent on it, and that too will need to be tapered. Its probably safe to take it once or twice a week, but if you have been taking it every second day, you may have already become dependent. In a nervous system sensitized by withdrawal, any drug, especially benzos can have paradoxical effects, causing increased anxiety and rebound interdose withdrawal. If I were you, I would try not to use them at all. Please read through the reinstatement topic carefully and understand that it may take a while before you start to feel better and its important to give it time before changing doses. Here are several more topics I think its important for you to read: The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable. What is withdrawal syndrome? I'm sorry, I know that's a lot of information, but take your time and ask any questions you have here in your thread. You will find a lot of friendly help and support here and I don't think your situation is impossible, but it may take a while before you are safely off everything and recovered. If you take your time, learn how to taper properly and be patient, you will be fine. Petunia. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted October 18, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 18, 2015 Hello Msdee, There are some very relaxing exercises you can do to relax your jaw and face - we carry so much tension there. Have a read about TMJ or find a you-tube video - there are heaps - and watch how they get their jaws to relax. I had to learn these exercises about a year or so ago cause I was in so much pain, and they helped heaps. I still use them when I feel tension creeping into my jaw - catching it early is way easier than waiting till your in lock-down . Hope you find some relief, Karen 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
Msdee Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 Thank you all so much for the quick reply. I apologize ahead of time I'm a rambler and with two non sleeping babies I may not respond daily if I don't get a chance. I tried something new a few days ago and then again yesterday that a herbal, hippy type friend brought to me, a substance called Phenibut . It completely eased my anxiety/lexapro wds .I didn't think to include that yesterday because I honestly didn't feel it until 3-4 hours after taking it. I will say it lifted my mood and helped me get it together to care for my family and I slept incredibly hard, which usually no matter what I can not do even on Ambein. My sweet husband took the babies for me last night. I did reinstate the 2.5 mgs of lexapro but I do not think it did much. My biggest side effect has been the most intense headache 24/7 always at its worst around 3am until I take a 800mg Motrin. I know I'm clenching and grinding like crazy in my sleep which is why I wake up like this. This has all just been so confusing with having all this dental work at the same time! But I know it has to be the lexapro wds causing this headache, jaw, tounge and neck tension. I've always tightened this area on or off meds when I'm anxious. I do feel some relief oddly enough if I take my adderall. Today at 11am I took 5mgs and am feeling much better. I do not know if I should take the 2.5 mg of lexapro again today. I am not going to use the phenibut again because obviously the last thing I need is another substance to get addicted to. However it was a huge help for last night. I can't get over how hard and good I slept. I truly want off all of this but I just haven't known where to start! My Pdoc will tell me psychiatric medicine is a real thing and mental illness is real so I should not take it into my own hands and continue on the med path. I will add again though he is NOT who put me on lexapro it was my OB. I did not consult with him with adding lexapro to my treatment because I thought, oh it's just lexapro. I can tell that he is not happy with me about this. I would rather withdrawal any day from oxycodone than a ssri, this is no joke but doctors hand it out like candy and say its easy to stop. At least with the discontinue of the oxycodone my Pdoc had me on (see signature) I only had flulike symptoms for a week. I'm rambling 1998-2004 various antidepressants/xanax all prescribed by a PA. 2005 pregnant obgyn prescribes Zoloft during my pregnancy stopped abruptly 2006. Still have a xanax script but rarely used it. 2006/2007 started lexapro 10mgs went cold turkey 2008. Using xanax occasionally 2008 off and on lexapro again 10 mgs 2009/2010 Zoloft again do not remember dose. Quit abruptly from bad side effects. Xanax on occasion. 2012 -I go in for a psychiatric evaluation for the first time and am diagnosed with ADD started wellbutrin do not remember dose I finally felt cured, everything was so much crisper,I felt confident,motivated and amazing until side effects hit 6 weeks in with dose increase. Extreme anxiety,irritation and hair fell out in clumps. Stopped abruptly and went to therapy. 2013-therapists diagnoses me with PTSD from a very hard childhood with mentally ill parents and agrees to ADD diagnosis. I'm drug free at this time but the therapy puts me in a deep,dark depression. 2014-pregnant drug free during pregnancy but completely addicted to CAFFEINE. I felt amazing in this pregnancy. Immediately after delivering obgyn puts me on lexapro 10 mgs and I see a new Pdoc who prescribes Addreall ir 20 mgs twice daily but I did not like the crash so then OXYCODONE 5mgs 3x daily for off label, drug resistant treatment for ADD/anxiety. FELT AMAZING for 3 months. Got pregnant again and went cold turkey off oxy stayed on lexapro 10 mgs. April 2015-This is when it gets bad. Give birth, decide to try the adderall 20mg 2x daily again feel pretty good. Then discover KRATOM use this for adderall crash instead of xanax. Currently 1 week ct off lexapro 10mgs after unsuccessful taper for a month,adderall here and there, tapering kratom and Ambein for sleep. Xanax 1mg nightly Aug/Sept now .50mg-1mgs every other night. Hot mess. I have a history on or off meds with ADD like symptoms ( note* extremely impulsive,scattered,can not stick to anything long including meds,exercise,diets,hobbies,relationships you name it) I also have dyslexia and have very strong senses such as empathy,sound,smell and intuition. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted October 20, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 20, 2015 I did reinstate the 2.5 mgs of lexapro but I do not think it did much.... I do not know if I should take the 2.5 mg of lexapro again today. Msdee, please read About reinstating and stabilizing to stop withdrawal symptoms It takes at least 4 days for your body to fully register the addition of a neuroactive drug. Unless you have an immediate bad reaction, observe your symptom pattern for about a week to see if the reinstatement is helping. If you have an immediate bad reaction, reduce or stop taking the drug. After reinstatement, the amount of time needed to alleviate withdrawal symptoms (stabilizing) varies according to the individual. Relief can be felt immediately, after some weeks, or after some months. Once you feel withdrawal symptoms are reduced after reinstatement, give your nervous system time to stabilize before attempting dosage reduction. Think in terms of months, not days. Be patient after you reinstate. Reinstatement may not immediately eliminate all withdrawal symptoms. You may still experience waves of symptoms, which usually lessen as time goes on. Give it a few more days, if it has helped a little, or at least not made you feel worse, then you may want to increase your dose slightly, perhaps go up to 3mg. See: Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram) to find out how to take small, accurate doses. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Msdee Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 I read all there is to about reinstating prior to doing it the other night but decided not to go thru with it after the one night 3 days ago. I of course noticed nothing from the 2.5 mg and got in touch with my Pdoc that said, I'm probably thru the worst of it.. I took that with a grain of salt. I will say I feel better mentally in the past 2 days, but I still have the headache, jaw pain/clenching. It's all so confusing since I'm having dental work as well. I guess my anxiety is coming out physcially at this point, I always been someone who carries stress in my jaw,shoulders and neck. It's got to be the lexapro withdrawals right?! I think it's been about 10 or 11 days now cold turkey except for that 2.5 mgs 3 nights ago. I have a conference call with my Pdoc tomorrow I am using about 1mg of xanax daily to deal with this and lots and lots of Motrin, aleave and occasional Vicodin. I'm also taking all the usual supplements and homeopathic stress remedies which I'm very knowledgable with. Its just so extremely hard going thru this and taking care of two babies, but at the same time they are what gets me out of bed in the morning and makes me smile. It's just this headache and physically tension my jaw hurts so much I feel tounge tied:( 1998-2004 various antidepressants/xanax all prescribed by a PA. 2005 pregnant obgyn prescribes Zoloft during my pregnancy stopped abruptly 2006. Still have a xanax script but rarely used it. 2006/2007 started lexapro 10mgs went cold turkey 2008. Using xanax occasionally 2008 off and on lexapro again 10 mgs 2009/2010 Zoloft again do not remember dose. Quit abruptly from bad side effects. Xanax on occasion. 2012 -I go in for a psychiatric evaluation for the first time and am diagnosed with ADD started wellbutrin do not remember dose I finally felt cured, everything was so much crisper,I felt confident,motivated and amazing until side effects hit 6 weeks in with dose increase. Extreme anxiety,irritation and hair fell out in clumps. Stopped abruptly and went to therapy. 2013-therapists diagnoses me with PTSD from a very hard childhood with mentally ill parents and agrees to ADD diagnosis. I'm drug free at this time but the therapy puts me in a deep,dark depression. 2014-pregnant drug free during pregnancy but completely addicted to CAFFEINE. I felt amazing in this pregnancy. Immediately after delivering obgyn puts me on lexapro 10 mgs and I see a new Pdoc who prescribes Addreall ir 20 mgs twice daily but I did not like the crash so then OXYCODONE 5mgs 3x daily for off label, drug resistant treatment for ADD/anxiety. FELT AMAZING for 3 months. Got pregnant again and went cold turkey off oxy stayed on lexapro 10 mgs. April 2015-This is when it gets bad. Give birth, decide to try the adderall 20mg 2x daily again feel pretty good. Then discover KRATOM use this for adderall crash instead of xanax. Currently 1 week ct off lexapro 10mgs after unsuccessful taper for a month,adderall here and there, tapering kratom and Ambein for sleep. Xanax 1mg nightly Aug/Sept now .50mg-1mgs every other night. Hot mess. I have a history on or off meds with ADD like symptoms ( note* extremely impulsive,scattered,can not stick to anything long including meds,exercise,diets,hobbies,relationships you name it) I also have dyslexia and have very strong senses such as empathy,sound,smell and intuition. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus dalsaan Posted October 21, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 21, 2015 To be honest, I think you need to work out how much faith you have in your pdoc and whether you want to follow their advice or work through stuff for yourself. That will determine next steps I think. If its the latter, we do find reinstatement and a slow taper off to be the best way to address existing withdrawal and the prospects of delayed or protracted withdrawal. That's why people indicated that's what they would do in your circumstances. I would also recommend you reconsider the supplements. Many people become sensitive to natural/alternative medicines when they are withdrawing. Overall, given the changes you have made and the mix of things you are taking its difficult to determine what is causing what Dalsaan Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist. Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014. Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September. Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015. Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15). Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past. DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017 >My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan Link to comment
Msdee Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 I completely agree with the statement regarding my Pdoc, I will see where I stand with him after our phone call tomorrow. I will say my gut tells me to tough it out at this point and use benzos, Motrin, massage etc. then to start the lexapro taper all over again. Who knows I might just be having a few good days and will change my mind. I guess it's one day at a time. No need to caution me on the benzo use for this time I'm going thru benzos have absolutely no appeal to me what's so ever. I hate feeling sleepy, drugged and lethargic. It's only there to get me thru the night when the jaw tension and anxiety set in. As far as the adderall goes I do not abuse this drug and get only the typical response a true ADD diagnosed person would get. Focus, motivation, relaxes my mind and gets me off the couch. That's the issue I have with psych meds what does one do when they truly have a mental illness. Life without meds is hard and side effects of the illness is also debilitating what do you choose? I've tried yoga, meditation, exercise, massage,acupuncture, natural supplements, therapy really everything and it all comes full circle again over and over. I do know I'm done with ssri's and plan to taper the adderall next but I can not do it all at once. 1998-2004 various antidepressants/xanax all prescribed by a PA. 2005 pregnant obgyn prescribes Zoloft during my pregnancy stopped abruptly 2006. Still have a xanax script but rarely used it. 2006/2007 started lexapro 10mgs went cold turkey 2008. Using xanax occasionally 2008 off and on lexapro again 10 mgs 2009/2010 Zoloft again do not remember dose. Quit abruptly from bad side effects. Xanax on occasion. 2012 -I go in for a psychiatric evaluation for the first time and am diagnosed with ADD started wellbutrin do not remember dose I finally felt cured, everything was so much crisper,I felt confident,motivated and amazing until side effects hit 6 weeks in with dose increase. Extreme anxiety,irritation and hair fell out in clumps. Stopped abruptly and went to therapy. 2013-therapists diagnoses me with PTSD from a very hard childhood with mentally ill parents and agrees to ADD diagnosis. I'm drug free at this time but the therapy puts me in a deep,dark depression. 2014-pregnant drug free during pregnancy but completely addicted to CAFFEINE. I felt amazing in this pregnancy. Immediately after delivering obgyn puts me on lexapro 10 mgs and I see a new Pdoc who prescribes Addreall ir 20 mgs twice daily but I did not like the crash so then OXYCODONE 5mgs 3x daily for off label, drug resistant treatment for ADD/anxiety. FELT AMAZING for 3 months. Got pregnant again and went cold turkey off oxy stayed on lexapro 10 mgs. April 2015-This is when it gets bad. Give birth, decide to try the adderall 20mg 2x daily again feel pretty good. Then discover KRATOM use this for adderall crash instead of xanax. Currently 1 week ct off lexapro 10mgs after unsuccessful taper for a month,adderall here and there, tapering kratom and Ambein for sleep. Xanax 1mg nightly Aug/Sept now .50mg-1mgs every other night. Hot mess. I have a history on or off meds with ADD like symptoms ( note* extremely impulsive,scattered,can not stick to anything long including meds,exercise,diets,hobbies,relationships you name it) I also have dyslexia and have very strong senses such as empathy,sound,smell and intuition. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted October 21, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 21, 2015 I've tried yoga, meditation, exercise, massage,acupuncture, natural supplements, therapy really everything and it all comes full circle again over and over. I do know I'm done with ssri's and plan to taper the adderall next but I can not do it all at once. Hi Msdee, I can relate to that feeling that you've tried everything and still are struggling so much, it can really make you lose hope at times. Your signature makes it clear how much you've been through in your life - and genuine healing for that much pain takes time. Keep giving yourself heaps of care, because things can change. It's just crappy how long it takes, and very hard to cope with. I spent a long time trying all sorts of things, like you did, only to end up feeling nothing worked. I was stuck in that 'hopeless' place for about a year. Then, somehow, I found a way out the other side. I think it was partly due to reading a couple of books about how brains heal and how bodies release trauma. I kind of came to grips with the idea of healing over my life-time instead of trying to get to being 'better.' This may or may not help, but I mostly just wanted to let you know you're not alone with these feelings. Hugs, Karen P.S. The books were In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness by Peter A Levine, and In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Mate. 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 22, 2015 Administrator Share Posted October 22, 2015 Welcome, Msdee. I'm not sure where you are with the Lexapro now. Have you been taking 2.5mg consistently since October 18? It takes at least 4 days to fully register in your system, and then it might take some time for your nervous system to settle down from the shock of cold turkey. Phenibut is a benzo relative that also incurs dependency. Please go to the Symptoms and Self-Care forum and use search to read our discussions about it. Kratom is also psychoactive. Every neuroactive drug, supplement, or herb you put into your body is going to affect your withdrawal syndrome. If it doesn't clearly make it better, either it's making it worse or complicating the situation. Adderall, or amphetamine, is addictive, period (as are benzos). It doesn't matter if you're taking it for "ADD" or buying it on the street. If you've taken it consistently for a month or more, you're probably at least physiologically dependent on it. If you quit Adderall without tapering, that may have added to your withdrawal syndrome. No doubt Adderall did make you feel good, in an earlier era, prescribed amphetamines were called "mother's little helpers." Psychiatrists know very, very little about adverse drug reactions, particularly withdrawal syndrome. They think it's mild and lasts only a few weeks. If you look around on this site, you will find we have thousands of cases that beg to differ. It can last for months or years. Reinstatement is best done right away. This puts you in a bind: Do you wait to see if your withdrawal syndrome goes away, as your psychiatrist expects, or do reinstate now to forestall worse withdrawal syndrome? Your decision. Please read the links we've given you and post your questions in this topic. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
DavidStone Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 I'm going to add my warning about Phenibut to the replies. I learned about Phenibut early this year. The information I read suggested it was a good sleep aid and anti-anxiety supplement. Since it has GABA in it and I'd had previously gotten GABA off Amazon I thought it was harmless. Later on I had concerns and read more, this time searching for "Phenbiut withdrawal". I won't go into all the info I found but I will say I'd never take it again. I slept like a baby when I took it, best sleep in years...but... The most conservative advice people gave was not to take it more than two times a week. Also since you have WD going on I believe it could complicate things for you. Be very very careful with Phenibut. Lexapro four times in the last ten years. Each time 6 month use. Two week taper. Lexapro 20mg August 2014 until Feb 28 2015. Two week taper Link to comment
Msdee Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 Thank you all so very much for checking in on me it really makes me feel not so alone. I'm about 15/16 days cold turkey from taking the lexapro for almost 16 months straight ( this go round) I reinstated one desperate moment at 2.5 mg but didn't follow thru with reinstating aside from that one dose. It's been a roller coaster but I'm having more windows every day of clarity and relief. I'm a all or nothing kind of person which can be a disaster obviously. I just had to quit that's just how I operate and I think from all I have been thru in my life I'm a survivalist so I'm able to push thru. It has sucked some days but I will say the past 5 days have been much, much better. It actually makes me sick and is very disturbing to think where I was 2 weeks ago in the throws of absolute hell. I would never, ever recommend any one go ct but this is my story in case somebody out there does things the way I do. The hard way;/ At this point I'm pretty good until night time. Around 5 when things get insane in my home with 3 very needy, loud kids I feel myself getting anxious and slightly depressed. I then tense up so the neck and jaw pain creep in. I know all there is to know about benzo addiction not because I have ever been addicted to them but I have had a script for almost 20 years. I do not touch these unless it's an emergency. And it has been the past few weeks. I take .05- 1mg at night of Xanax and a few times rotated it with 5 mg Valium or an ambein. This is temporary and I get absolutely no pleasure from benzos but I need to function all day so they help me sleep during this wd phase. I have every single homepathic, herbal supplement you can name. I am trying not to add much of anything to the mix right now until I'm thru all this. I did not like the phenibut and will never take it again. Weird stuff. Great sleep but I didn't like the feeling of it what so ever. You have to remember I was willing to try anything to not start the lexapro back up. Not to replace one habit for another but just for some relief these past weeks. The adderall I'm tapering I'm down to 20 mgs a day. I don't love adderall at all but it does come in handy with several nights with 4 hours of sleep and taking care of babies all day. I can't just lay in bed. I so wish I volume and I would be off all this **** ct in a month. The kratom will be the hardest thing for me to give up. I may not give it up ever. I don't want to use it daily but I know myself and I will ALWAYS need something. I may have a few good months here and there but I'm damaged and it's not my time right now to sit it out with a therapist to work thru, I have a family to take care and little time for myself. I don't drink, smoke weed. (Although its tempting but I did plenty of that in my young days) I will eventually go back to my days to being a full blown coffee addict. Anyways, this is where I am. The nights are rough but survivable at this point. I hate the 3am might sweats, rls, anxiety more than anything. Oh, and my headache has FINALLY let up thank god!!!!!!! The head ache is actually the worst. I never get headaches so that was shocking. 1998-2004 various antidepressants/xanax all prescribed by a PA. 2005 pregnant obgyn prescribes Zoloft during my pregnancy stopped abruptly 2006. Still have a xanax script but rarely used it. 2006/2007 started lexapro 10mgs went cold turkey 2008. Using xanax occasionally 2008 off and on lexapro again 10 mgs 2009/2010 Zoloft again do not remember dose. Quit abruptly from bad side effects. Xanax on occasion. 2012 -I go in for a psychiatric evaluation for the first time and am diagnosed with ADD started wellbutrin do not remember dose I finally felt cured, everything was so much crisper,I felt confident,motivated and amazing until side effects hit 6 weeks in with dose increase. Extreme anxiety,irritation and hair fell out in clumps. Stopped abruptly and went to therapy. 2013-therapists diagnoses me with PTSD from a very hard childhood with mentally ill parents and agrees to ADD diagnosis. I'm drug free at this time but the therapy puts me in a deep,dark depression. 2014-pregnant drug free during pregnancy but completely addicted to CAFFEINE. I felt amazing in this pregnancy. Immediately after delivering obgyn puts me on lexapro 10 mgs and I see a new Pdoc who prescribes Addreall ir 20 mgs twice daily but I did not like the crash so then OXYCODONE 5mgs 3x daily for off label, drug resistant treatment for ADD/anxiety. FELT AMAZING for 3 months. Got pregnant again and went cold turkey off oxy stayed on lexapro 10 mgs. April 2015-This is when it gets bad. Give birth, decide to try the adderall 20mg 2x daily again feel pretty good. Then discover KRATOM use this for adderall crash instead of xanax. Currently 1 week ct off lexapro 10mgs after unsuccessful taper for a month,adderall here and there, tapering kratom and Ambein for sleep. Xanax 1mg nightly Aug/Sept now .50mg-1mgs every other night. Hot mess. I have a history on or off meds with ADD like symptoms ( note* extremely impulsive,scattered,can not stick to anything long including meds,exercise,diets,hobbies,relationships you name it) I also have dyslexia and have very strong senses such as empathy,sound,smell and intuition. Link to comment
Msdee Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 One more thing. I hate ambein. I know I hate it and I honestly think it causes me to be depressed,anxious and feel awful the next day. Stupidly, again desperate for sleep I've been taking it quite often since my last trimester if pregnancy. Prescribed by my Obgyn. I have ALWAYS had insomnia and anxiety long before meds started. Anyways, how do you all feel about tapering ambein? I typically take 5-10 mgs. On average 4 or 5 nights a week. Out of all the drugs I take or have taken I personally feel ambein is the worst. Poison. Of course all my doctors say it's not addictive just stop but I don't believe it now. Oddly enough though my pdoc agreed that ambein is the absolute worst, toxic drug and to get off immediately. He also said we need to taper me backwards, he prescribed the adderall and Xanax to me. My Obgyn prescribed the lexapro and ambein. He was upset I didn't speak to him prior to getting on these two drugs but honestly just trusted my Obgyn and was pregnant, sleep deprived and a mess. My babies are 13 months apart. Let's just say I was not cut out for this pregnancy thing and stress of baby stage. One at time no problem. I have a 11 year old but back to back with these two sent me off the deep end. End of my ramblings sorry:) 1998-2004 various antidepressants/xanax all prescribed by a PA. 2005 pregnant obgyn prescribes Zoloft during my pregnancy stopped abruptly 2006. Still have a xanax script but rarely used it. 2006/2007 started lexapro 10mgs went cold turkey 2008. Using xanax occasionally 2008 off and on lexapro again 10 mgs 2009/2010 Zoloft again do not remember dose. Quit abruptly from bad side effects. Xanax on occasion. 2012 -I go in for a psychiatric evaluation for the first time and am diagnosed with ADD started wellbutrin do not remember dose I finally felt cured, everything was so much crisper,I felt confident,motivated and amazing until side effects hit 6 weeks in with dose increase. Extreme anxiety,irritation and hair fell out in clumps. Stopped abruptly and went to therapy. 2013-therapists diagnoses me with PTSD from a very hard childhood with mentally ill parents and agrees to ADD diagnosis. I'm drug free at this time but the therapy puts me in a deep,dark depression. 2014-pregnant drug free during pregnancy but completely addicted to CAFFEINE. I felt amazing in this pregnancy. Immediately after delivering obgyn puts me on lexapro 10 mgs and I see a new Pdoc who prescribes Addreall ir 20 mgs twice daily but I did not like the crash so then OXYCODONE 5mgs 3x daily for off label, drug resistant treatment for ADD/anxiety. FELT AMAZING for 3 months. Got pregnant again and went cold turkey off oxy stayed on lexapro 10 mgs. April 2015-This is when it gets bad. Give birth, decide to try the adderall 20mg 2x daily again feel pretty good. Then discover KRATOM use this for adderall crash instead of xanax. Currently 1 week ct off lexapro 10mgs after unsuccessful taper for a month,adderall here and there, tapering kratom and Ambein for sleep. Xanax 1mg nightly Aug/Sept now .50mg-1mgs every other night. Hot mess. I have a history on or off meds with ADD like symptoms ( note* extremely impulsive,scattered,can not stick to anything long including meds,exercise,diets,hobbies,relationships you name it) I also have dyslexia and have very strong senses such as empathy,sound,smell and intuition. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 24, 2015 Administrator Share Posted October 24, 2015 Your psychiatrist is a drug pusher. He's got you dependent on speed and benzos. Yes, you will need to taper off Ambien or you will experience rebound sleeplessness. However, since you've just cold-turkeyed Lexapro, messing around with your other drugs will probably cause more nervous system upset. Exactly how much of everything are you taking each night? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Msdee Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 I agree with you that he's a drug pusher. He's all about medicating. However, he's willing to help me get off slowly. I requested a benzo for the lexapro wds. I'm taking currently: 5-10 mgs of adderall ir 3x daily. I'm prescribed 40-60 mg per day but never go over 30mgs. I keep telling my pdoc I don't need such a large script. 1/2 mg of Xanax at bedtime and sometimes another half in the middle of the night after I get up to feed my baby and can't fall back to sleep. 5-10 mg Ambein instant release 5 nights a week at least since quitting the lexapro. It knocks me out but I wake up very easily and get no more than 4 hours solid of sleep from it. This is why I end up taking a 1/2 mg of Xanax at 3am because I can't fall back asleep, anxiety kicks in and the ambein is worn off completely. I want to flush the ambein down the toilet. 4 grams of kratom spread thru out the day 5x a week. I also take trace minerals, multi vitamin, probiotics, homeopathic treatments for candida, glutathione, diatomaceous earth food grade, and my homeopathic doctor recently gave me a serotonin tincture since going off lexapro, 5HTP ( I haven't taken that yet), melatonin, a natural sleep aid blend. I know part of my problem is I take nothing consistently. I talk myself out of taking the adderall for example some days to give myself a break or see if I feel better.. I know now I can't go off any of this ct while dealing w lexapro wds. But I want a plan!!!! I want to wean off all of it. My pdoc says he will help me with this but I really don't feel comfortable doing it with him at this point. He will over analyze all my feelings and symptoms. 1998-2004 various antidepressants/xanax all prescribed by a PA. 2005 pregnant obgyn prescribes Zoloft during my pregnancy stopped abruptly 2006. Still have a xanax script but rarely used it. 2006/2007 started lexapro 10mgs went cold turkey 2008. Using xanax occasionally 2008 off and on lexapro again 10 mgs 2009/2010 Zoloft again do not remember dose. Quit abruptly from bad side effects. Xanax on occasion. 2012 -I go in for a psychiatric evaluation for the first time and am diagnosed with ADD started wellbutrin do not remember dose I finally felt cured, everything was so much crisper,I felt confident,motivated and amazing until side effects hit 6 weeks in with dose increase. Extreme anxiety,irritation and hair fell out in clumps. Stopped abruptly and went to therapy. 2013-therapists diagnoses me with PTSD from a very hard childhood with mentally ill parents and agrees to ADD diagnosis. I'm drug free at this time but the therapy puts me in a deep,dark depression. 2014-pregnant drug free during pregnancy but completely addicted to CAFFEINE. I felt amazing in this pregnancy. Immediately after delivering obgyn puts me on lexapro 10 mgs and I see a new Pdoc who prescribes Addreall ir 20 mgs twice daily but I did not like the crash so then OXYCODONE 5mgs 3x daily for off label, drug resistant treatment for ADD/anxiety. FELT AMAZING for 3 months. Got pregnant again and went cold turkey off oxy stayed on lexapro 10 mgs. April 2015-This is when it gets bad. Give birth, decide to try the adderall 20mg 2x daily again feel pretty good. Then discover KRATOM use this for adderall crash instead of xanax. Currently 1 week ct off lexapro 10mgs after unsuccessful taper for a month,adderall here and there, tapering kratom and Ambein for sleep. Xanax 1mg nightly Aug/Sept now .50mg-1mgs every other night. Hot mess. I have a history on or off meds with ADD like symptoms ( note* extremely impulsive,scattered,can not stick to anything long including meds,exercise,diets,hobbies,relationships you name it) I also have dyslexia and have very strong senses such as empathy,sound,smell and intuition. Link to comment
Msdee Posted October 25, 2015 Author Share Posted October 25, 2015 Your psychiatrist is a drug pusher. He's got you dependent on speed and benzos. Yes, you will need to taper off Ambien or you will experience rebound sleeplessness. However, since you've just cold-turkeyed Lexapro, messing around with your other drugs will probably cause more nervous system upset. Exactly how much of everything are you taking each night? 1998-2004 various antidepressants/xanax all prescribed by a PA. 2005 pregnant obgyn prescribes Zoloft during my pregnancy stopped abruptly 2006. Still have a xanax script but rarely used it. 2006/2007 started lexapro 10mgs went cold turkey 2008. Using xanax occasionally 2008 off and on lexapro again 10 mgs 2009/2010 Zoloft again do not remember dose. Quit abruptly from bad side effects. Xanax on occasion. 2012 -I go in for a psychiatric evaluation for the first time and am diagnosed with ADD started wellbutrin do not remember dose I finally felt cured, everything was so much crisper,I felt confident,motivated and amazing until side effects hit 6 weeks in with dose increase. Extreme anxiety,irritation and hair fell out in clumps. Stopped abruptly and went to therapy. 2013-therapists diagnoses me with PTSD from a very hard childhood with mentally ill parents and agrees to ADD diagnosis. I'm drug free at this time but the therapy puts me in a deep,dark depression. 2014-pregnant drug free during pregnancy but completely addicted to CAFFEINE. I felt amazing in this pregnancy. Immediately after delivering obgyn puts me on lexapro 10 mgs and I see a new Pdoc who prescribes Addreall ir 20 mgs twice daily but I did not like the crash so then OXYCODONE 5mgs 3x daily for off label, drug resistant treatment for ADD/anxiety. FELT AMAZING for 3 months. Got pregnant again and went cold turkey off oxy stayed on lexapro 10 mgs. April 2015-This is when it gets bad. Give birth, decide to try the adderall 20mg 2x daily again feel pretty good. Then discover KRATOM use this for adderall crash instead of xanax. Currently 1 week ct off lexapro 10mgs after unsuccessful taper for a month,adderall here and there, tapering kratom and Ambein for sleep. Xanax 1mg nightly Aug/Sept now .50mg-1mgs every other night. Hot mess. I have a history on or off meds with ADD like symptoms ( note* extremely impulsive,scattered,can not stick to anything long including meds,exercise,diets,hobbies,relationships you name it) I also have dyslexia and have very strong senses such as empathy,sound,smell and intuition. Link to comment
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