Martina23 Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 Well fortunately the part of my brain that is the doing part is still working correctly. Or I would be really screwed. Then I tried this thing where I try to pep talk myself and that even freaks me out cause I'm talking to myself. I think I was so dumbed down on meds that all my thoughts and brain activity is in chaos. And I scare myself even more with my obsession and playing out the part. Shelby, you cant be schizo, as as you pointed out your rational part of brain is still pretty much working, if you were schizo your rational part would not be working and you would be totally out of reality, you just have to let your brain make his own new pathways, and make connections everywhere where it is destroyed by the drug, you will not go psychotic, I am also not psychotic and already 10 months out, it feels only so scary because of anxiety 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus JanCarol Posted May 20, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 20, 2016 Hey ST - Is It Relapse or Withdrawal? and http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2390-dr-joseph-glenmullens-withdrawal-symptom-checklist/ you can check your symptoms against the list, when a new symptom comes up - if it's on the list - no worries. (of course, not all withdrawal symptoms are on the list, just many of them) If you like, you can make copies of the list and use it as a log to track your symptoms, and watch your progress over time. You are already sounding more lucid and settled (believe it or not) than you did when you first arrived! It gets better, you can get better. "Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again. My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices. A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia. CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013. Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine). Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 - Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years on Lithium). Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made. The tedious thread (my intro): JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium The happy thread (my success story): JanCarol - Undiagnosed Off all bipolar drugs My own blog: https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/ I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016! Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted May 20, 2016 Author Share Posted May 20, 2016 Hey ST - Is It Relapse or Withdrawal? and http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2390-dr-joseph-glenmullens-withdrawal-symptom-checklist/ you can check your symptoms against the list, when a new symptom comes up - if it's on the list - no worries. (of course, not all withdrawal symptoms are on the list, just many of them) If you like, you can make copies of the list and use it as a log to track your symptoms, and watch your progress over time. You are already sounding more lucid and settled (believe it or not) than you did when you first arrived! It gets better, you can get better. I'm always tempted to reread my first posts here to see if I have progressed a tiny bit, but it's too soon. As I might bring the symptoms back on myself. The mental ones anyways. I have a tendancy right now to read stuff and take it on as my own. Or like when I have a flare up I look for them or do it to myself for a little while after they go away. Very annoying to think I would want to do that... I was having the thoughts and mind chatter on my walk yesterday and my daughters school called me. She was sick and had a temp. So after I picked her up and took her temp it was pretty high, almost 103. Maybe they got worse after that because I was stressing out about my daughter being sick. Sometimes in the middle of my symptoms getting worse it takes me a day or two to make a connection. Her temp has gone down some today. I'm really trying hard not to think about the memory of the thoughts. If I ruminate and think about them it tends to make them worse and they keep growing. I wish I could just let my mind wander and relax. But the thoughts are still popping up. I only got like two hours of sleep last night. I must have been stressed cause I usually get at least 4-7 hours. Well I guess we will see what the day holds for me today ... Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted May 20, 2016 Author Share Posted May 20, 2016 And great a new thing... Ever since two days ago now when I say something in my head or outloud I am calling myself names in my head. Then it keeps repeating for a while. It only happened a couple times before but now it's happening a lot the last two days. Could that be classified under intrusive thoughts? Just maybe taking on a different form? Sometimes really bad names. Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 8, 2016 Author Share Posted June 8, 2016 5 months off and I've guess I have hit a wave. When you hit a wave you actually see that it wasn't so bad in the window. Never had a symptom free window but this is for sure a wave. My relationship is suffering but surprisingly not because of my wd. Intrusive ocd thoughts are in full force. I've had some weird vision thing happening where I feel like I'm on drugs. Then I get shortness of breath and hot. Takes all my strength to calm down and not freak out. Morning anxiety is worse. My mind goes blank or feels frozen. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing touch with reality... Is all this normal wd? Since I don't have all the physical stuff like most people. I do get these inner body agitation like a weird feeling that rushes through my body. I sure hope this is wd and I don't have to live like this forever or go back on meds. I don't even think anything will help me. I tried almost all of the Ssri's within two months and every one was crap. Sorry for complaining but this is crazy Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
LexAnger Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 Congratulations to your being free of these poison and holding for 5 months! I would give oneself huge credit for such an achievement. Even I'm not there yet, I can assure you that all you are going through are nothing but WD, Holding for time to heal every one of the bumps is the only way and just try to remind yourself that you are closer to the original wholeness as you pushing through each day. Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 8, 2016 Author Share Posted June 8, 2016 And I can't stop thinking about how I will die someday. It's like always on my mind?? What the heck Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 8, 2016 Author Share Posted June 8, 2016 Congratulations to your being free of these poison and holding for 5 months! I would give oneself huge credit for such an achievement. Even I'm not there yet, I can assure you that all you are going through are nothing but WD, Holding for time to heal every one of the bumps is the only way and just try to remind yourself that you are closer to the original wholeness as you pushing through each day. Thank you , I hope I can keep going. I feel like I'm stuck in a different world. Like I'm just going through the motions to make sure my kids are taken care of. But I feel like I'm missing out on living and enjoying life because all these dumb thoughts always getting in the way. Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
LexAnger Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. We are all on the same boat and going through this darkest time of our lives. I consider it the part that was taken away and try to think about the final days when I'm out and can live again. It's really hard especially when experiencing the suffering moment by moment, but still need to keep reminding this won't be forever, and thinking of the tiny windows here and there always gave me hope and faith to continue. You are very close and the miracle can happen any day. I read quite a few successful stories saying sudden disappearing of all symptoms one after another like all the wire eventually finds their right spots then boom, all are great suddenly like a true miracle. Keep the faith and hang in. Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
AliG Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 Hi Shelby. Morning anxiety is worse. My mind goes blank or feels frozen. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing touch with reality... Is all this normal wd? Since I don't have all the physical stuff like most people. I do get these inner body agitation like a weird feeling that rushes through my body. I sure hope this is wd and I don't have to live like this forever or go back on meds. I don't even think anything will help me. I tried almost all of the Ssri's within two months and every one was crap. Sorry for complaining but this is crazy I can appreciate your thoughts here, as I feel like I've lived through them as well. Morning anxiety can be a cortisol - related issue experienced by many in W/D .Cortisol is higher in the morning and there is a cortisol surge that can feel so unbelievable in an extremely disconcerting way . I would get teary as well as anxious & depressed. This is a fairly standard withdrawal response as the body " auto - corrects". I also experienced the inner body agitation/ weird feeling that you speak about. For me it was an almost akathisia type of feeling - an inner restlessness, that was so extreme in how weird and uncomfortable it made me feel. I used to take off out the front door and just walk and walk ! Unfortunately when I first experienced it , I didn't know what it was and thought I was going mad. LOL. It was only later, I pieced it together. I'm now 2 yrs drug - free and I very rarely experience any of these symptoms now. Occasionally I'll have a "flash" of a feeling or a slight cortisol surge but for the most part they are gone as have a lot of my old symptoms. Others, I'm still going through but there's a positive shift in them, also. I'm only telling you what I've experienced to help you see that it is withdrawal : it won't be forever and there is no reason to go back on the meds. I tried every A/D and thought if I could find the " perfect" one I would be great. If I could just find one that had no side effects ! I now know such a drug doesn't exist and even if it did, I would have no interest in it. I'm starting to find a clarity and sense of control over my health that is more exciting to me than any chemical that the drug companies can dream up . Being your own health advocate and taking back your power will hopefully start to feel better for you than a temporary chemical peturbation of your brain that can come at a serious long term cost and to " Big Pharma's " delight goes on forever. I just hope you can see that you are doing well and there is no reason to doubt that. You can do this. Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 8, 2016 Author Share Posted June 8, 2016 Hi Shelby. Morning anxiety is worse. My mind goes blank or feels frozen. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing touch with reality... Is all this normal wd? Since I don't have all the physical stuff like most people. I do get these inner body agitation like a weird feeling that rushes through my body. I sure hope this is wd and I don't have to live like this forever or go back on meds. I don't even think anything will help me. I tried almost all of the Ssri's within two months and every one was crap. Sorry for complaining but this is crazy I can appreciate your thoughts here, as I feel like I've lived through them as well. Morning anxiety can be a cortisol - related issue experienced by many in W/D .Cortisol is higher in the morning and there is a cortisol surge that can feel so unbelievable in an extremely disconcerting way . I would get teary as well as anxious & depressed. This is a fairly standard withdrawal response as the body " auto - corrects". I also experienced the inner body agitation/ weird feeling that you speak about. For me it was an almost akathisia type of feeling - an inner restlessness, that was so extreme in how weird and uncomfortable it made me feel. I used to take off out the front door and just walk and walk ! Unfortunately when I first experienced it , I didn't know what it was and thought I was going mad. LOL. It was only later, I pieced it together. I'm now 2 yrs drug - free and I very rarely experience any of these symptoms now. Occasionally I'll have a "flash" of a feeling or a slight cortisol surge but for the most part they are gone as have a lot of my old symptoms. Others, I'm still going through but there's a positive shift in them, also. I'm only telling you what I've experienced to help you see that it is withdrawal : it won't be forever and there is no reason to go back on the meds. I tried every A/D and thought if I could find the " perfect" one I would be great. If I could just find one that had no side effects ! I now know such a drug doesn't exist and even if it did, I would have no interest in it. I'm starting to find a clarity and sense of control over my health that is more exciting to me than any chemical that the drug companies can dream up . Being your own health advocate and taking back your power will hopefully start to feel better for you than a temporary chemical peturbation of your brain that can come at a serious long term cost and to " Big Pharma's " delight goes on forever. I just hope you can see that you are doing well and there is no reason to doubt that. You can do this. Ali Thank you, I often doubt myself. Especially now. My relationship with my kids dad is not going very well. He hasn't worked in over a month. He's his own boss basically. He owns his own company. He told me today we need reevaluate our situation and it's not been working for a long time. It's a very long story. He is not emotionally supportive to me at all. He doesn't get any of this and doesn't take any of it into consideration. But most of our issues are actually from him. He pretty muck stays to himself in his office and does not participate in our family. So I kinda started checking out too. Then wd and coming off meds has made me less excepting of his crap. He says I'm crazy. But then when I was on meds he would talk crap to me cause I took an ad. He swears medical marijuana cures all. Not for me. He smokes a lot and I believe it has killed is motivations and love for life and family. I believe there is a time and place for it. I'm not against it. But I do think it has something to do with his issues. I'm not sure why but I'm being tested or something. Let's just see how much she can handle ?? And I just found out that my dads sister took her own life about six months ago. Which my dad did also but like 15 years ago. I didn't know her very well but that freaked me out. I already have issues with my dad and being freaked about ending up crazy and doing what he did. And then his sister does it too. I guess she was an alcoholic and then turned to meth. I started thinking oh god I hope it's not in my genes to snap and take my own life. Not very comforting when going through wd and thinking I'm crazy already. So maybe some of this is situational. Or just my situation is hard to deal with cause I don't have an ad anymore to smooth the ride. Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 So After reading someone on here went back on an Ssri and is doing great now. I am debating. Mainly due to the intrusive obsessive thoughts and weird racing type thoughts I get. They come on pretty strong when I get stressed or mad/ angry. It the same phrases that repeat in my head. About killing my kids ,husband , myself. I thought I was heading voices and got very scared. I think I have figured out now it's just me and my brain doing this. But it is very frightening. Sometimes I can just brush it off and other times when I haven't had the thoughts for a day or just a couple hours and they return I get very frightened and scared. I think why would I be saying these things to myself? Never have I ever experienced anything like this. It's very draining on my soul. I can just think about it and bring them on. So I do a lot of mindfulness but sometimes they are just there. So can something like this be happening still at 5 months out? Thinking this other member went back on after 20 months out after thinking she was good and then became very suicidal scares me to death. Now she's back on a full dose and doing so much better. Why should I keep on waiting this out if that's what I have to look forward to? I mean is it possible to heal and not have to go back on something ? There's not a lot of success stories. And even those scare me now cause more than one person has come back saying they didn't really heal. I'm just so confused. Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
nz11 Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 Shelby shelby shelby The grass always looks greener over the fence but you know what ya still gotta mow it but in this case ya still gotta get off it. Dont be fooled by someone saying they are doing well on their chemical they are in a state of chemical induced spellbinding. Long term outcomes are a worsening in all measures and that person still has to get off the drug e....asier said than done. Yes 5 months is early days in this recovery journey we could well be talking years but in time it will get easier. 5 months off is a very enviable position to be in. Personally i think you are doing fantastic. You know this is not you your brain is in wdl so try not to panic or get frightened by these thoughts. You can do this. One more thing these chemicals are not safer than you think they are. They are very very dangerous and marketed and approved by foul play. "You keep waiting this out" because this is how you win. Take nothing but T-I-M-E and photos! Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 Shelby, dont go back on the drugs, you will not harm anyone, dont be afraid 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 I just feel like I'm back at square one, with my life being one big stress ball the last two weeks. Now finding out how easy it is to just get back on something and have your life back. My brain is not the same since coming off. I got zero sleep last night. Terrible adrenaline rushing all night and weird racing crazy thoughts/ memories. Fear, dread???? just crazy like I was losing my mind. Still lingering today. Can stress in your life really mess up your progress that much ? And If that's the case I will never heal because life always has stress. Sorry to be so pessimistic. I just feel so strange. Honestly the weather even makes me feel weird. Like a dejavu type feeling. Maybe this will pass ? Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 If I can still smile and laugh occasionally is that a good sign ? Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted June 9, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 9, 2016 Now finding out how easy it is to just get back on something and have your life back. Shelby, Sorry it is a struggle. That is, as you know, the way windows and waves go. I want to make sure you are not misled into believing that you can be sure that you can go "back on something and have your life back." Some people can get back on and it works. Others have been sensitized and it no longer does what it did in the past. Sometimes another med works but it is not a slam dunk. This is not to say that it is not an option if you determine that is what is best for you. It just is not to be viewed as an ironclad that it will work as planned. As always, this is your journey and your decision. I got zero sleep last night. Terrible adrenaline rushing all night and weird racing crazy thoughts/ memories. Fear, dread just crazy like I was losing my mind. Still lingering today. Can stress in your life really mess up your progress that much ? And If that's the case I will never heal because life always has stress. Lack of sleep makes everything difficult. The rushes of adrenaline/cortisol are very common and frequently are tied into ruminating/racing thoughts. Yes, in the wee hours it feels like you are losing your mind. You aren't of course. Stress to a sensitized CNS can definitely screw you up, however, you are supposing that this means you have lost all your progress. Not true. These are windows and waves and when this wave passes and you have another window it may well be further along the healing path. Life will always have stresses, but how you learn to manage them with non-drug techniques will help determine how well you manage this process over time. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted June 9, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 9, 2016 If I can still smile and laugh occasionally is that a good sign ? Yes. It's one sense of self that you have retained. A lot of people in withdrawal lose that ability. Laughter can be very healing in many ways. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 I take its its normal to feel like you are in a different world for a long time while going through this? As long as it lets up a little at some point , I don't expect all the way just a little. And pray that I don't get worse. Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted June 9, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 9, 2016 Yes. That sounds a little like you are describing dp/dr -- the sense of unreality. As someone who suffers significantly from that, you are not alone. Have you read this thread? http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1766-derealizationdepersonalization/ Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 I am so afraid of reading stuff. It seems like I'm some type of hypochondriac now. I read stuff and then look for the symptoms. I freak myself out. I messed up by coming across some topics in here where a couple members took their own life. My worst fear. That was not fun. Thank you for responding. Not too many people respond on here anymore unless you are new or have friends in here. I'm hoping at 5 months if this was a precursor to me becoming psychotic it would have happened by now. That's the only way I could do something like that. If I was completely out of it. I fear that will happen to me too from this wd. All I see are the people still suffering on here and on fb. I hope that it's just because the people who got past this are living their life now they have no reason to keep coming back and that there's many of them. On meds I had no ambition to do anything. At some points I was not doing much of anything with my life but the bare minimum. Being a good mom pretty much consumed me. Now I have the want to start but get anxiety thinking about it. Like school or a job. The world seems so scary now. The lady that went back on says she believes in quality of life over being off meds. She did a very slow taper too. Was great for 20 months. How does that happen? Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 It doesn't help my husband has been very stressed out from not working and he's taking it out on me ???? I'm sure that making me worse. Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 9, 2016 Moderator Share Posted June 9, 2016 Hi Shelby-- I'm sorry to hear that DH is having such trouble coping with being off work and is taking it out on you. That can make things really tough all around. One big problem with forums like this one is that most of the people who post are the ones having the worst time of it. It can really paint a bad picture for everyone as a whole. It's one reason we really stress that each persons experience is so individual. You really can't look at your personal journey in terms of what others are going through. Each persons circumstanses are so different. At times it's very common to feel like you're going crazy or psychotic. but I've never seen it happen in all my years on these boards. These drugs are very good at mimicking every condition medical science has come up with. Very scary and very uncomfortable, but in the end it does all pass. The things that Mapleleafgirl has been going through are very scary for all of us. There are a lot of things that we don't know about that are involved in her situation. It is also very atypical. I see it as a reason to keep to the straight and narrow and do things as correctlly as we know how. Getting off these drugs is not a science, and we are all trying to figure it out as we go. With each persons experience being so individual there are going to be some hickups along the way, but the vast majority don't have these problems. The same thing goes for the people we have lost along the way. We just don't know all the circumstanses that were involved. We do know that suicidal ideation is a big problem, but one that can be gotten through. What caused these people to make this drastic decission we will never know, however, WD was only one factor in it. These horriable events serve to show us how serious a situation we've been put in and how careful we have to be with everything we do. All the things you're feeling or not feeling are part of the process we have to go through to get off of these terrible drugs. Slowly, piece by piece, momentary feeling by momentary feeling things will fall back into place and the life we had taken from us will resume. (((((((((HUGS))))))))) BTW I really miss my spell checker. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 I don't understand why I can't Get out of my head that I will die someday. Everything I do it pops in my head. I will just be doing whatever and boom I get this sense of dread and depression and think about how I will die. Is this wd or some type of depression ? Is this normal in wd? Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
LexAnger Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 Tom, you are a true life saver! I have been having the same setback by the incidence and a few others alike myself and I believe others may feel the same way. Thank you so much for the rescue! Love Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted June 10, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 10, 2016 I don't understand why I can't Get out of my head that I will die someday. Everything I do it pops in my head. I will just be doing whatever and boom I get this sense of dread and depression and think about how I will die. Is this wd or some type of depression ? Is this normal in wd? That is WD, Shelbytrev. I went through PAWS from Effexor and had those times of dread, fear of death, fear of everyone I loved being gone one day, me being alone, it was terrible! So, I know what you are going through right now. Gives me the willies just thinking of it, the insomnia with all those kinds of thoughts going through my head...one time I went outside in the middle of the night and angrily marched up and down our long driveway! And you know what? I didn't realize I was in PAWS! I had't figured it out because all my withdrawal symptoms came on slowly; I felt fine the weeks after I came off, so when the emotional stuff began it was so far out that no one recognized what it was! So, imagine feeling what you are feeling and not understanding what is happening! At least you have that perspective, though the trickery of WD makes you question it constantly. There was a success story I read recently from someone who had come off Effexor, I believe, and she said WD was terrible but that one thing she began to recognize was that when a symptom came up and was bad, that was usually the beginning of the end of it! Each symptom came up bad and then went away, never to be seen again! I thought that was pretty cool, really! So, just think that perhaps once this doom/dread stuff subsides, that may be the end of that one! I sure hope so! Hang in there! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
nz11 Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 I don't understand why I can't Get out of my head that I will die someday. Everything I do it pops in my head. I will just be doing whatever and boom I get this sense of dread and depression and think about how I will die. Is this wd or some type of depression ? Is this normal in wd? Yes i like you and SG experienced this relentlessly and daily for a long time in wdl. It was a total fixation with death and dying. Its all lies from the brain. This erroneous thinking will recede in time. I didn't realise you were talking about MLG until i saw 20 months and BM post ...well as BM said we do not know her situation. Here's the thing in wdl we need to look after ourselves. We need to put a question mark on our own brain self talk because it is profoundly flawed. The brain is very sensitive to every input and the brain will amplify thoughts to reality. And unless we are careful we can make decisions based on wrong perceptions or imaginings. Make decisions based on what we assume others (even children) perceive when in fact they may not be perceiving that at all. I found myself in wdl very sensitive to criticism, and very critical myself, and always guessing and not trusting others motives. My perceptions were wrong. It was the brain throwing up crap ...neuro-emotions. MLGs plight was similar to mine in that we went on paxil at the same time had failed exit attempts at about the same time and both tapered off in 2010. Unlike MLG i did not ri and did not do a excellent 4 yr taper. It was very difficult for me for the first several years and many times i wanted to ri but i did not and i never will ever. I do not regret it. These are in my opinion not for-ever drugs they are for-never drugs. We have been very betrayed and duped by doctors. As Andy says though its your choice. So if you go back on and stabilize and feel you have a life again...then what? Taper off again? I believe for every ri the subsequent taper becomes more difficult. I also don't understand why MLG did what she did. Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted June 10, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 10, 2016 Once in awhile I re-read something that I have read in the past, and find it brand new again LOL! So, maybe this post will help you, Shelbytrev. It is in light of benzo withdrawal, but the principles are the same, and hey, the neurotransmitter systems are all interwoven so we might as well lump them all together in this post. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/10914-what-is-happening-in-your-brain/ I especially liked this part at the end: This is just some limited information to give an idea of what is going on in neurophysiology. Obviously this is very cursory and not super detailed. But there is a bigger point here than "what parts of the brain are affected". The point REALLY is - IF YOU KNOW that symptoms are tied to parts of a NORMAL brain under reconstruction, then you can begin to rest a little more easy in your mind that under the circumstances, the symptoms themselves are a GOOD sign. Without intrusive memories - as awful as they are - especially when mixed with fear - but without them, your memory itself would not heal. It IS healing - and when you are having intrusives, try to think of it that way. Tap your finger to your temple and say to yourself, "I know what this is. This is my hippocampus healing! Ha!" Because it IS. And if it were NOT healing, you would not be having those symptoms. ANY part of the brain or body that needs to heal is going to "experience" something in the form of symptoms - and you are going to notice that. But it is part of process that is inevitably returning to the balance that it could not achieve while we were [...] putting those pills in our mouths. (And if you're tapering, this is [...] happening - just likely with less trauma than with what happened to me when I cold-turkeyed.)So - when you have symptoms - know that symptoms themselves are a way for you to know that healing is taking place.And finally - realize that the DRUG is GONE. This is withdrawal - yes - okay -we call it withdrawal - but it's really "recovery".The benzos are gone. The "evil drug" is no longer there. The symptoms that are left are not the "enemy". That's our brains doing the EXACT right thing. What's happening to our brain at this point is not the "benzo beast" It's OUR BRAIN recovering.Not to degrade anyone who calls it the benzo beast - I get that. But just so you know - you're not really fighting a beast.You don't even need to fight it. Just wait it out. All that reconstruction is happening on your building.And soon - the frame will be back standing, [...] than before. The furniture will be inside. The elevators will go all the way up to the top again. And the people can come and go and work like a well-oiled machine. Don't feel you need to fight the recontruction. It's just healing. And all that is happening to us is a sign of that. Read the whole thing - it really is enlightening. SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 Thank you so much everyone. I think I had a little bit of a freak out. That's another thing that bothers me, my behavior. I'm always questioning my actions. Am I acting right? Treating people right? Rethinking the past since wd and feeling guilty of how I acted towards people since in wd. Not that I'm mean , just not myself. I feel bad when I'm not present or my behavior is off because of this. That's probably wd too huh? Overthinking everything ???? Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted June 10, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 10, 2016 Shelby, This is the way I would look at it -- everything you find yourself doing that is wholly out of character with the way you have traditionally acted is likely to be the direct or indirect consequence of withdrawal. By direct I mean things like anxious behavior that is triggered by a chemical reaction in your brain and body. By indirect I mean the thoughts and actions you take as influenced by the direct reactions. Trust me when I tell you we ALL do the same things you are doing and we ALL have the same worries and fears you have. Some have been at this a long time and have developed better coping mechanisms or have developed a level of "numbness" to all of it, but that does not mean they do not feel it. It's one of the oddest things that can be imagined so it's not surprising that it is troubling to the logical brain. My advice is simple -- when you have a weird sensation, thought, reaction, etc. take a few minutes to consider it in a mindful way, i.e., objectively, without judgment and in as detached a way as you can, and see if you can deal with it in a way that reduces the anxiety associated with it. Over time, you will find it easier and easier to "talk yourself down" after these things hit. And, then, if you can't talk yourself down, come to the board and we will help talk you down. This is not, by the way, an effort to quell your posts. Rather, it is an effort to help you start developing your coping skills. Sort of in the "teach a man to fish..." Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 Thank you so much everyone. I think I had a little bit of a freak out. That's another thing that bothers me, my behavior. I'm always questioning my actions. Am I acting right? Treating people right? Rethinking the past since wd and feeling guilty of how I acted towards people since in wd. Not that I'm mean , just not myself. I feel bad when I'm not present or my behavior is off because of this. That's probably wd too huh? Overthinking everything Shelby, I think this is also part of OCD, checking as a compulsion. There comes a thought, sometimes more scary sometimes less and this questioning of the thought is generally checking which makes the anxiety to rise. I know it happens authomatically, it is part of the anxious response. I have it also. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
nz11 Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 OCD is a wdl symptom. My advice is simple -- when you have a weird sensation, thought, reaction, etc. take a few minutes to consider it in a mindful way, i.e., objectively, without judgment and in as detached a way as you can, and see if you can deal with it in a way that reduces the anxiety associated with it. Over time, you will find it easier and easier to "talk yourself down" after these things hit. Great advice. I used to try to take a step back and ask myself ...would my brother (or anyone else i knew for that matter) ever think this way and the answer was always ...no! So it had to be my thinking despite feeling so real was severely compromised. And, then, if you can't talk yourself down, come to the board and we will help talk you down. Brilliant. nz11 Did someone mention catching fish aahhhh Swim away swim away!! Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
btdt Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 I don't understand why I can't Get out of my head that I will die someday. Everything I do it pops in my head. I will just be doing whatever and boom I get this sense of dread and depression and think about how I will die. Is this wd or some type of depression ? Is this normal in wd? These drugs cause all sorts of things any person who was not an illegal drug user would never suspect... this we don't think of drugs as doing or at least I never thought of a legal drug in this way. Illegal drug users are generally a step ahead as they see the similar effects to street drugs and have some idea about what is going on... I guess if you take a drug to get your brain messed up on purpose and enjoy that sort of thing ... tho I can't imagine... you learn things along the way. Wd has tons of unexpected brain bombs and nuggets... just ask here somebody will always have had it too... check to be sure. peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 13, 2016 Author Share Posted June 13, 2016 Every time something stressful happens now not only do I get the regular stressful feeling I get an intense buzzing rush. I feel like I can't breath and I have to start calming myself down. I can't control that it comes on. I'm assuming this is anxiety. But I hope as time goes on it doesn't happen all the time. I was getting this just from getting some jerk text messages from my ex regarding my son. I also started experiencing this wierd thing where I will be doing ok maybe on and off. Then all of a sudden I feel like I took drugs or something. Like I'm totally out of it and the everything is either strange or scary. Then it fades over time if i distract myself. Every time that happens I think oh crap maybe this is time I will finally lose touch with reality. It's such a strange feeling. Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted June 13, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 13, 2016 From http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/392-one-theory-of-antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome/ Even among people suffering the most severe antidepressant withdrawal syndrome, repopulation of serotonin receptors probably occurs long before symptoms disappear. However, while the serotonin system is repairing itself, an imbalance occurs in the autonomic nervous system. The locus coeruleus "fight or flight" center becomes disinhibited and the glutamatergic system becomes more active than normal. This is called disinhibition of the alerting system, and it generates symptoms that are awful: panic, anxiety, sleeplessness, and dreadful imagery among them. Shelbytrev, I think this is what you are experiencing. I can't recall who wrote about it, but she said she'd look at something benign like a coffee cup and have this hyper-alerting sensation. I've had it, too. It's like a whoosh through the belly, very uncomfortable! It will pass. Try not to give it any power by over-thinking it. I just try to think "there's that WD thing again, moving on" or some such. SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
shelbytrev Posted June 13, 2016 Author Share Posted June 13, 2016 So I had to block the gal that went back on her meds from answering to my posts on the fb page. She's on there, somehow she found my post where I was talking about how a member went back on meds and was doing great now. I feel like maybe I'm over reacting but I can't take hearing how great she's doing and how she had my symptoms but they are gone now because she's back on meds. I'm happy for her but at the same time I'm trying really hard to keep going without going back on. It's very discouraging when you are struggling and ask questions about your issues and someone who is back on meds doing great answers. I can't relate to her. I don't want to hear that she had issues cleaning her house but as soon as she went back on meds she did so much and loved it. I'm not against the medication. And someday I might end up back on like her. She sounds like she was in a bad place , bed bound and suicidal. At that point I probably would have done the same thing. But for now I'm hoping this is wd and trying to work through it. Trying is the key word. I'm not anti meds and I'm not totally for them. I would just like to see if there is some truth to this wd before I give up. The lady that has a site for benzos said there are a lot of success stories but so many never come back to tell about it. I'm hoping that's true too. I question everyday whether I should go back on. I don't know if hearing how great she feels now is going to help me because snes back on. Sorry I just had to get that out. I'm sure I'm way to sensitive right now and it's probably not a major deal in the big picture. But that's where I'm at right now ☹ Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years Effexor 75mg approx 9 years Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes. Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg As of 1-8-2016 off everything Link to comment
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