Pepita Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 thnx:) I think it's important to share the good as well- or even more;) not only complain when being in those miserable waves;) 2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg 2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg 2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late) Completely drug free since August 2015 Link to comment
Pepita Posted August 16, 2017 Author Share Posted August 16, 2017 hi there everyone... soooo I have had a nice 2,5 month window but as a typical routine of mine I overdid it concerning my stressload (took on more jobs than I guess I should have). I felt stress levels rising and I felt that it didn't do me any good but I wanted to finish the job so badly (while at the same time fearing the wave coming back). Aaaaanyway.. this time its obsessive thoughts about aging and dying and losing everybody- particularly nice one;). I've had thos thought obsession about aging first time when WD kicked in about 1,5 years ago. I hope this one will calm down rather sooner than later. Meanwhile I am doing all the good things for myself:))) how are you all doing? 1 2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg 2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg 2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late) Completely drug free since August 2015 Link to comment
Madeleine Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 Take a look at a book like Feeling Good by David Burns. It tells you how to deal with thoughts like that... Wishing you well, M. 200 Zoloft; 10 mg Zyprexa; 4 mg valium as of May 2021; Valium taper: July 16: 3.5 valium; July 30: 3 mg (paused valium taper); Aug. 23: 2.5 mg Zyprexa: July 26: 8.75 mg; Aug. 9: 7.5 mg; Aug. 30: 7.1 mg ------- Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18; May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg Link to comment
Pepita Posted November 7, 2017 Author Share Posted November 7, 2017 Ho everyone, I just wanted to give a quick update:) my last wave I was complaining about in august was short lived yeah yeah. Since then I feel really good:))) how are you all doing? 1 2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg 2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg 2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late) Completely drug free since August 2015 Link to comment
Pepita Posted January 13, 2018 Author Share Posted January 13, 2018 hi everyone! I hope you are all handling your withdrawal in the best way possible and I am sort of reaching out for a prep talk;( I was doing really good for about 7-8 months now (only short lived bad wavy days in between but good over all and regaining my usual life ) so before wirhdrawal I went on a 5 week vacation to thailand every year which I didn't for 2 years now bc of withdrawal but as I was doing so great for a longer period of time now I decided it was time to take it to the next level. Well...already about a month before going I started feeling nervous and worse and worse and Instarted struggling because I knew that I as soooo happy to go but I noticed my mind going crazy .. now I am here in paradise and my nerves are torturing me. I have major depressive moodswings, crying spells all that:( I am here with friends, I don't want to bring all of them down which makes everything worse... 5 years ago when i was in thailand all that misery with medication started and although I know that I am not at the same pont as I was back then- it certainly feels like it! wahhhhhhhh 2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg 2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg 2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late) Completely drug free since August 2015 Link to comment
RealMe Posted January 15, 2018 Share Posted January 15, 2018 On 1/13/2018 at 9:07 AM, Pepita said: 5 years ago when i was in thailand all that misery with medication started and although I know that I am not at the same pont as I was back then- it certainly feels like it! wahhhhhhhh Dear Pepita, So sorry you are struggling with moodswings and crying spells. I wish I could say something to comfort you. The only thing I can offer from my own experience is that I can sometimes hold myself together for the purpose of not upsetting my family. When I am able to do it, it makes me feel like I am getting stronger and that I am not completely at the mercy of my feelings and my brain. This empowers me at least a little bit. When I'm not able to do it, I hide from them until I can. I don't know if that is helpful, but it is all I have -- that and my hope for you that you will find this just a very brief wave and will soon return to enjoying paradise and your friends. You are doing this completely drug free. That is a great accomplishment. I hope to do that someday. Best wishes, RealMe Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973, Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres. Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29; 9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present. Link to comment
Pepita Posted January 15, 2018 Author Share Posted January 15, 2018 50 minutes ago, RealMe said: Dear Pepita, So sorry you are struggling with moodswings and crying spells. I wish I could say something to comfort you. The only thing I can offer from my own experience is that I can sometimes hold myself together for the purpose of not upsetting my family. When I am able to do it, it makes me feel like I am getting stronger and that I am not completely at the mercy of my feelings and my brain. This empowers me at least a little bit. When I'm not able to do it, I hide from them until I can. I don't know if that is helpful, but it is all I have -- that and my hope for you that you will find this just a very brief wave and will soon return to enjoying paradise and your friends. You are doing this completely drug free. That is a great accomplishment. I hope to do that someday. Best wishes, RealMe Hi there RealMe, thank you so much for your anticipation! I have to say that hiding my feelings makes everything worse for me;( it works very well with strangers, doing small talk and all that but with family and good friends I only feel worse and worse... it comes to that point where I HAVE TO TELL them.. it's the only way a get a little release because I feel like I don't have to hide any more. It doesn't mean that I then cry in front of them all the time or sit there with a sad face but I know they know and that helps a bit! I am feeling a liiiiittttle better the last 2 days and I think thats because I get to have more me-alone-time to just be myself. I didn't realize how much I do this at home but it's true, at least every day I get some time at home on the sofa, chilling with my dog or doing nonsense whatever and I didn't grt that here (altough its vacation) but the others are very driven "what are we doing today lets do this and that" and of course they don't get that I sort of need this just lying around letting my thoughts, feelings and breath go. Also luckily I have a very good therapist who I didn't need to talk to for quite a while now but she does skype sessions and I had one few days back and I'll have another one today:))) I still feel very unstable and insecure but the darkest hours are gone for now and I hope that I'll have at least some days or a week of feeling normal again here but of course you are right: I am here OFF meds, totally drug free and I should be more considerate of that achievement! Thank you wo much for responding it does help a lot to hear from people of this circle! Pepita 2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg 2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg 2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late) Completely drug free since August 2015 Link to comment
Pepita Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 Hi everyone, I am really really badly struggling since beginning of January now:( I have had such wonderful windowa already and I honestly thought that it could never get THAT horrible again. I am about 2 years off now and my wave started during going on my first long holiday since wd started and this wave is a really strong, persistent one:( My brain feels so "open", sort of wounded or broken, I can't describe it otherwise and EVERYTHING irritates me so much, I am back in that house of horror and it is the first time since wd started that I feel so broken again that I wish I could just pop a pill to feel better for at least a few hours. It is so hard to keep remembering that this is still a process. Sometimes I am even wondering if protracted withdrawal really exists or of we are all just torturing ourselves but in the end I guess that in even doesn't matter. Even if it wouldn't be wd- I really don't want to go down that medication path again. Besides all that withdrawal crazyness I have a few relationship issues coming up which I can't handle at all at the moment and we have a new house owner. He wants to rebuild and have a lot of things done ans wants everyone to move out. In one year construction will start. We could stay but then we'd be facing 3-4 years of noise all day long (which I am very sensitive to, even non-wd-wise) so that's not reall an option. WAHhHhHhHh it's all too much now. Sorry for being so winy but I am really down at this time. hope to hear some positive news about yourselves? Nice windows? Progress? any good news:)? 2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg 2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg 2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late) Completely drug free since August 2015 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted March 4, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 4, 2018 5 hours ago, Pepita said: my wave started during going on my first long holiday since wd started Even good stress can cause issues. And of course worry about finding new accommodation. Also: From What is Happening in Your Brain: "Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are [...] to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were [...] to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and [...] to work in the building! You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while [...] is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves. The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made. And just like the Twin Towers- it's possible - but the building is a major effort -and it takes a good year or more sometimes." * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Pepita Posted March 5, 2018 Author Share Posted March 5, 2018 9 hours ago, ChessieCat said: Even good stress can cause issues. And of course worry about finding new accommodation. Also: From What is Happening in Your Brain: "Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are [...] to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were [...] to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and [...] to work in the building! You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while [...] is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves. The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made. And just like the Twin Towers- it's possible - but the building is a major effort -and it takes a good year or more sometimes." thank you for this reminder❤️ 2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg 2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg 2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late) Completely drug free since August 2015 Link to comment
DaddyCee Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Hi Pepita, Sorry to hear you are suffering at the moment. I hope you are feeling a little bit better today. Namaste, DC. 1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg 2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013) Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days. Have been drug free since Oct 2013. - Yep 5 years drugs free Link to comment
Pepita Posted January 7, 2019 Author Share Posted January 7, 2019 14 hours ago, ChessieCat said: Hi there, The staff at SA are wondering how you are. We'd love to hear how you are doing now. Would you mind dropping by and giving an update? Thanks. CC Hi ChessieCat! Thank you for asking:) I am doing pretty well and you are right, could not harm to write an update, so here it comes: I am off meds for 3 years now. At the moment I am enjoying a very good window which allows me to really live my life like it was before Withdrawal - and I´d say even better than before starting meds or being on them. By living my life I mean that I work around 40 hours a week, I am not panicking before meetings or feeling complete terror when I have to work in-house somewhere else (I am a self-employed Freelancer. I mainly work from my own office which was life saving during withdrawal of course but now I am able to freelance in other agencies again - although I prefer the quiet of my own office;)) I can train martial arts again which was absolutely impossible during WD and strong waves. I just feel..you know..normal;) Not being afraid of social activities, no panic attacks, no depression etc. Also I feel like I am finally becoming more and more myself again. I am finding new hobbies which I really enjoy. I am working on my relationship which I just wasn't able the past few years because I was so overwhelmed with all that withdrawal process and basically in survival mode. Sometimes it´s weird and I feel like I don´t even really know myself or sort of...I am becoming a new person and sometimes I don´t know yet what I am going to be like :D But I enjoy it and I love who I am becoming. I do still get waves. I am now protocoling all my waves/windows so after a year I can truly say how I felt throughout the year but I´d say it´s about 60/40. 60 being good - being really well and 40 light waves - strong waves. Really strong waves are definitely less often or shorter. I feel that I am still healing and there is still a way to go until everything Withdrawal-related is over but I don´t doubt this process any more. If I had to guess I´d say it will take another 2 years or so. I know now that I am fit to live without medication and even if a strong wave takes over: I know it will pass therefor there is no questioning if I am doing the right thing or not. 1 2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg 2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg 2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late) Completely drug free since August 2015 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 8, 2019 Administrator Share Posted January 8, 2019 Good to hear you're doing better. This calls for our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to be added to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering. Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually! This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Miko789 Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 Hi Pepita, how are you doing? 10 months back. 2011 protracted withdrawal symptoms from Effexor, managed to come off 2013-2015 risperidone consta 50 mg, started tapering from March 2015 to 1,66mg/day and from 02/2015 started seroxat 10mg/day 01/17 Seroxat 2,0mg,olanzapine 5mg,risperidone consta 25mg/every 15days 05/17 Seroxat 1mg,olanzapine 5mg,risp.consta 25mg/every 15days 06/17 Seroxat 2drops,olanzapine 5mg,liquid risperidone2mg 07/17 Seroxat 1 drop,olanzapine 5mg,Risperidone 0mg, 10/17 Seroxat 0mg,olanzapine,5mg,Risperidone 0mg, 12/17 Seroxat 1/2 drop, olanzapine 5mg, 04/18 Olanzapine 1,25mg, 04/18 xanax 0,5mg 24/06/2019 doc said to take 10mg olanzapine for 13days and down to 5mg been taking 10mg for 14 days, 5mg for 8 days and tapered to 3/4quart. 5mg for 14 days, 1/2 for 14 days, 01/08/19 2,5mg 08/2021 5mg olanzapine Supplements Omega 3, Turmeric, Bacopa monneri, Mucuna Pruriens Link to comment
Pepita Posted November 21, 2019 Author Share Posted November 21, 2019 6 hours ago, Miko789 said: Hi Pepita, how are you doing? 10 months back. Hi there... wow it’s been a long time since I was online here I am doing fine over all! I do still experience waves (I am about 4 years off now) but The past 2 yrs it has been about 9 per year are fine and there’s one longer/ harder wave... though the last one was due to “real life problems”🤪 i‘m Still happy with my decision to live life without meds and I am off way better that way! Healthier, happier ... 2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg 2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg 2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late) Completely drug free since August 2015 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 22, 2019 Administrator Share Posted November 22, 2019 Good to hear from you, Pepita. Please stay in touch! This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Vasherr Posted September 8, 2022 Share Posted September 8, 2022 Hi, @Pepita, Your last update was a long time ago, please let us know how are You doing! Wishing You a lifelong window! V. Duloxetine 2016/17 - 30/60mg/30mg, c/t, light WD. Sertraline June 2019 50mg ADR Clorazepate June 2019 20-15-10mg for 3 weeks then sparsely until 2022, 2 times per month max and very low dose (5mg) Clorazepate Jan2022 10mg 5 days 2,5mg 2 days then off Venlafaxine June 2019 75mg ADR, 17,5mg, titrated to 37,5mg Venlafaxine Jan 2022 Covid, hard ADR on 37,5mg, reduced to 20mg ADR, tried ct, crash, Venlafaxine 22Jan22 reinstated 9,4mg, too low/ 01Feb22- 12mg/ 12Feb- 11,25mg/ 16Feb- 11mg/ 20Feb- 10,8mg/ 24Feb22-10,575mg/ 16Mar22- 10,46mg/ 26Mar22- 10,35mg/ 26Apr22- 10mg/ 01Oct- 9,9mg/ 13Nov- 9,7mg 01Jan24-7,5mg MAR24 Due to another sudden intolerance had to fast taper venlafaxine to 1,14mg Seems like all of this time I was in benzo withdrawal, because when I took it now in desperation to help it made me feel worse, tried reinstatement first 1mg, then 0,05mg both made me feel worse. Link to comment
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