JulietC17: Help navigate this mess

[JulietC17]

Hello,

Somewhat new to the group, never posted but have been benefiting from reading many of the posts here.

I'll try to abbreviate my history.

Took Prozac in high school and college for panic disorder. Seemed to really help and was able to stop and continue on with a normal life both times. No taper back then just cold turkey with no ill effects. Six years ago took a small dose of celexa. Seemed to help. Tapered somewhat rapidly off of that in third trimester of pregnancy. Had some flu like symptoms and brain zaps that were short lived. Back to normal life. Then in

 

November of 2014 had a traumatic emergency c section of our fifth child. Both of us recovered well, thankfully. In January 2015 started having strange physical symptoms. Issues with breathing and depth perception. Then started having panic attacks. Thinking I'd just do what I knew worked in the past, asked doc for AD prescription. Was given Zoloft as it was considered "safe" for breastfeeding. Took for 7 days and anxiety went through the roof like never before. Stopped cold turkey. Went about a week and doc had me try celexa again since it had worked in the past. Again, sky high anxiety. Stopped cold turkey after 10 days. All the while still having weird symptoms. Start pursuing answers in other ways. Multiple tests get run. About three weeks later go to a psychiatrist instead of my regular doc. He prescribes Xanax. Thinks it will "break the cycle" of panic and anxiety. Take up to 1.5 mg per day for about two weeks and it doesn't help. Doesn't really touch the anxiety and I become afraid to leave my bed. Stop the Xanax cold turkey after two weeks and doc had me try Remeron. Feel worse and almost manic/suicidal on it (probably also some withdrawal from Xanax, unknowingly) Stop that cold turkey after just 7 days.

 

Start trying to just fix nutritional deficiencies and take supplements. Most supplements make anxiety worse. So was psychotropic drug free for about two months but still trying supplements. In July make the biggest mistake ever by trying Lexapro. Horrible horrible reaction. Could never relax. Completely agitated. Having breakdowns everyday. Screaming, crying, throwing things. Out of control. Kept being told it would make things better. It never did, of course. Started taking the Xanax again during this time add it was the only thing that would keep me sane. Only took the lexapro 13 days before stopping.

 

Then was switched from Xanax to klonopin. Still unbearable anxiety. Still emotionally unstable. Take it all of September 15 and most of October when I decide it's not helping and gradually reduce my dose and stop it. Probably too quickly.

 

Start seeing a functional medicine doc who suspects Lyme disease. Start taking antibiotics only to have similar reaction to the psych drugs. Breakdowns, feeling out of control, etc. Was stopped and actually spent some time in the psych ward after that. Was put on paxil, but insisted they start me at a baby dose of 5mg and refused to let them up it. Back on Xanax again. Take paxil through (upping slowly till art 20 mgs) March and try antibiotics again more severe reactions. In March try switching, yet again, to celexa. At one point the dose gets upped to 30 mgs and I have another horrid reaction. Aggression, unstable, anxiety or of control and was almost forced against my will back into the psych ward by my doctor. Decide to drop that dose back down to 20mgs. Psychiatrist thinks I need something stronger. Adds seroquel, though I'm highly resistant to it. Take 25 mgs for four days before insisting I stop. Psychiatrist agrees it wasn't helping, at least. Tries adding deplin. Also makes me worse. Stop that after three weeks. On my own realize that I felt much better the day I forgot to take the celexa. On my own drop the dose down to 10mgs. Start feeling better. Drop down to 5. Start having brain zaps and severe dizziness, but the constant feeling of being terrified of EVERYTHING is less, so I can deal.

 

Was on just 5 for just one week, when I quit, cold turkey because I could feel the anxiety was much worse on days when I couldn't cut the pill well and was getting all different amounts. Been off the celexa for about 3.5 weeks now. Experiencing fatigue, headaches, emotional instability, anxiety, morning heart pounding, uncontrollable muscle twitching, uncontrollable eye movements, urge to flap arms and speak gibberish when really anxious, some dizziness.

 

During this time, my new doctor begins to expect mold sickness. Blood test confirms a genetic susceptibility and evidence of my body being unable to rid itself of the toxins. I am supposed to start taking binders to remove toxins from my body, nasal sprays to deal with toxins in sinuses, and glutathione to help detox as well. My problems may have been mold related all along.

 

I don't know, though, if my fragile nervous system will be able to handle the treatment needed for mold sickness. I'm at a loss as to how to move forward. I have been through such hell. I truly was feeling better each time I dropped the celexa dose, so I took it to mean it was the right move. Note that I'm on nothing, though, I'm really suffering. From this site, it looks as though I tapered much too quickly. I actually thought that after two days of going off and tried taking what looked to be about 2.5 mgs and had horrible agitation and instability. I gave up after that horrible day.

 

This is the much abbreviated version. I'm sure I missed a lot. Just looking for some support and insight. Thanks for listening.

[Mammoth]

Hi Juliet,

 

You have been through a lot! I'm so sorry and hope that you will get some support here as you sort through what steps may be next. Hang in there. You are not alone! 

[scallywag]

Hi Juliet, -- Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants (SA)

 

I hope you'll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation. I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but am glad that you found us.

 

One of the early members, alexjuice, here had a very similar experience with mold exposure.  He posts only occasionally now.  Here's link to a recent post about this in his Introduction topic.