Gridley

[rola]

@gridley 

a good year is good and full of good things. 😁

I hope the translator works. 😩

[sunnysideup69]

@Gridley, thanks for all you do here at the same time as coping with your own WD. Wishing you a happy new decade of complete recovery 😊

[Erell]

Gridley, sunnysideup said it all, wish you a quiet year in beautiful mountains ❤

[Gridley]

@rola @Erell @sunnysideup69  A beautiful decade of complete healing and peace to all of you, and thank you for your kind wishes

[Gridley]

Taper method update:

 

I've been tapering Lexapro for three years now using the Brassmonkey Slide Method (four weekly 2 1/2% tapers followed by a two-week hold).  It's worked very well for me and I recommend it.  

 

However, as I've gotten to the low doses recently, because of the unusually high pill weight: active ingredient ratio (10:1) of my generic and the limitations of the Gemini scale (it will not show half-milligram (0.5mg) weights; 1mg is the lowest weight it will register), 2 1/2% per week was putting me a fair amount over 10% per 4-week period.

 

I adapted with a modified Brassmmonkey slide of 5% for one week, with a one week hold.  This kept me below 10% for a few drops.  But when I was at 1mg, I realized I was going to have to shift to the standard 10% every four week taper to stay below 10% and in my next drop, from 1mg to 0.9, I shifted to the standard 10%.  As necessary, I will hold longer as I get lower and lower, that being the only variable available to me.

 

My WDnormal baseline is somewhat better than 6 months ago.  I'm functional.  Most symptoms are mental/emotional: mostly  anhedonia and apathy, some but much less anxiety.  Physical symptoms are some insomnia (get about 5 hours of sleep a night, occasionally being able to get back to sleep and get up to 6-7 hours), plus moderate back pain.  Morning cortisol spike anxiety has disappeared, as has severe back of neck pain.  Appetite is fair, leading to some weight loss.

 

It looks like perhaps another year to jump off the Lexapro.  I'm shooting for 0.05mg if I can measure that low.  The amount of powder now in the capsule is pretty minuscule.  Then, after a break, I'm looking to start the Ativan taper but the Imipramine is a possibility.

 

Onward inward.  I wish all of you good days and many windows and much hope, my friends.

 

 

Edited January 5, 2020 by Gridley

[wantrelief]

You are doing great, Gridley - congratulations on getting below 1 mg!!

[Gridley]

@wantrelief Thanks, want relief.  Slowly but surely.

[Giulietta]

Hello Gridley,

 

Happy New Year (again!).  You have an improved base line and progress with your decreases and a positive approach to the future. And more sleep and less anxiety! The anhedonia will fade. I fidn that my appetite vacillates so my weight goes up and down a bit. I honestly get nervous because of needing to take enough food to metabolize all the gabapentin - particularly the lamotrigine.

 

What more could you ask for (given our circumstances) on the cusp of a new year? 

 

I am impressed (and gratified) that you were able to drop 10% at once and wish you continued successes. Keep having positive expectations.

 

Thanks, best wishes and hugs,

Giulietta

 

[Gridley]

3 hours ago, Guilietta said:

 

What more could you ask for (given our circumstances) on the cusp of a new year? 

Thanks for dropping by, G.  Yes, baseline has improved, all very slowly as we know only too well.  I'm proud of you, down to one bead.  You're doing great.

[Giulietta]

1 hour ago, Gridley said:

baseline has improved, all very slowly as we know only too well

 

It is stunning how slowly it improves.... I have experienced that WD symptoms that were very intense - and went away for a while - or receded at least for a while - when they returned they are less of an intrusion (generally). I was surprised when the tinnitus came back with the intensity that it has. The cortisol spikes similarly.

 

Yes - we've both made some decreases recently. We're closer to liberation!  😁

[Frogie]

20 hours ago, Gridley said:

Taper method update:

 

I've been tapering Lexapro for three years now using the Brassmonkey Slide Method (four weekly 2 1/2% tapers followed by a two-week hold).  It's worked very well for me and I recommend it.  

 

However, as I've gotten to the low doses recently, because of the unusually high pill weight: active ingredient ratio (10:1) of my generic and the limitations of the Gemini scale (it will not show half-milligram (0.5mg) weights; 1mg is the lowest weight it will register), 2 1/2% per week was putting me a fair amount over 10% per 4-week period.

 

I adapted with a modified Brassmmonkey slide of 5% for one week, with a one week hold.  This kept me below 10% for a few drops.  But when I was at 1mg, I realized I was going to have to shift to the standard 10% every four week taper to stay below 10% and in my next drop, from 1mg to 0.9, I shifted to the standard 10%.  As necessary, I will hold longer as I get lower and lower, that being the only variable available to me.

 

My WDnormal baseline is somewhat better than 6 months ago.  I'm functional.  Most symptoms are mental/emotional: mostly  anhedonia and apathy, some but much less anxiety.  Physical symptoms are some insomnia (get about 5 hours of sleep a night, occasionally being able to get back to sleep and get up to 6-7 hours), plus moderate back pain.  Morning cortisol spike anxiety has disappeared, as has severe back of neck pain.  Appetite is fair, leading to some weight loss.

 

It looks like perhaps another year to jump off the Lexapro.  I'm shooting for 0.05mg if I can measure that low.  The amount of powder now in the capsule is pretty minuscule.  Then, after a break, I'm looking to start the Ativan taper but the Imipramine is a possibility.

 

Onward inward.  I wish all of you good days and many windows and much hope, my friends.

 

 

Sounds like you are doing wonderful Gridley!

 

 I’m so happy for you. You’ll be done with the Lexapro taper before you know it😊

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

[mdwstrx]

Adding my congrats (and appreciation that you could do a 10% drop all at once.) 🙌 Thanks,too, for journaling your progress. 🙂💜

[sunnysideup69]

Yes, I also want to second the thanks for journalling your progress. It is really helpful for the rest of us ❤️

[Giulietta]

Hello Gridley

 

Hope you are well .   I just posted a lot of tips on 'being successful' / coping with EF challenges on my thread. I let Emma know on her thread too.

G

[MissyE]

On 1/6/2020 at 7:36 PM, Frogie said:

Onward inward.  I wish all of you good days and many windows and much hope, my friends.

Hey Gridley thank you for the kind wishes, right back at you!!

Fantastic news you are below 1mg and going strong.  I'm smiling a huge smile right now.  Slow and steady wins the race.

Missy x 

 

[Erell]

Hi Gridley, 

 

I'm so impressed by your journey ! Well done, you are now below 1mg ! Your story gives me hope, thank you for sharing it with us 😃

Wish you a nice year of healing ❤️

[Gridley]

@MissyE @Erell  Friends, thanks for dropping by with your kind words.

[Rosetta]

Hi Gridley.  So glad to hear that your morning cortisol anxiety has gone.  Mine is rare, but I know it will go.  I’m just thrilled that you are on your last 1 mg of that awful drug!! All my love, Rosetta💖

[Gridley]

I'm heading down from the mountain to the Big City, Cuenca, for two nights and so will be off-line util late Tuesday.  I'm sure its good for me to get out into the world, though my CNS screams "no!"  I'll be meeting a never-met cousin down here for a Spanish intensive and Kathy, my spouse, has a minor medical procedure.  Mostly, I hate leaving the dogs, who thus far have no suspicion  of our dereliction (suitcases hidden).

[sunnysideup69]

7 hours ago, Gridley said:

I'm heading down from the mountain to the Big City, Cuenca, for two nights and so will be off-line util late Tuesday.  I'm sure its good for me to get out into the world, though my CNS screams "no!"  I'll be meeting a never-met cousin down here for a Spanish intensive and Kathy, my spouse, has a minor medical procedure.  Mostly, I hate leaving the dogs, who thus far have no suspicion  of our dereliction (suitcases hidden).

Hey Gridley, hope you have a wonderful time. All good wishes for Kathy's procedure  

[Gridley]

4 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

All good wishes

 

Thanks, SSU.

[Rosetta]

Hey, Gridley, have a good time, and I hope it’s much better than you are expecting. - Rosetta

[Frogie]

On 1/18/2020 at 3:57 PM, Gridley said:

I'm heading down from the mountain to the Big City, Cuenca, for two nights and so will be off-line util late Tuesday.  I'm sure its good for me to get out into the world, though my CNS screams "no!"  I'll be meeting a never-met cousin down here for a Spanish intensive and Kathy, my spouse, has a minor medical procedure.  Mostly, I hate leaving the dogs, who thus far have no suspicion  of our dereliction (suitcases hidden).

Have a great time! How exciting to meet a cousin. 
 

You will do fine and the babies will be happy to se you when you get back😊

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

[Gridley]

On 1/20/2020 at 10:27 AM, Frogie said:

babies will be happy to se you

Thanks for dropping by, Frogie.  All went well, we had some good food, and the babies were jumping for joy when we returned.

[Frogie]

2 hours ago, Gridley said:

Thanks for dropping by, Frogie.  All went well, we had some good food, and the babies were jumping for joy when we returned.

That’s awesome 😊

[Gridley]

We have to head back to the big city for one night, so I'll be off-line Sunday and Monday.  We're sneaking around, hiding the suitcases so the dogs won't know until the last minute.  See you in a couple of days, my friends.

[mustafa]

1 hour ago, Gridley said:

We have to head back to the big city for one night, so I'll be off-line Sunday and Monday.  We're sneaking around, hiding the suitcases so the dogs won't know until the last minute.  See you in a couple of days, my friends.

We will miss u my dear friend❤️.

Take care

[sunnysideup69]

See you soon, Gridley  

[MissyE]

Have fun on your adventure Gridley.  The dogs will appreciate you even more when you're home; and you them. 

 

You're learning Spanish?  Fab.  My youngest learns at nursery, he's 3.  Favourite (and one of his only) word(s) is rojo.  He points out all the rojo things he sees. 

 

Hope you're wife's procedure goes smoothly; and you're ok.

 

Love, peace & sparkles;

namaste.

Missy x 

 

[Gridley]

On 1/26/2020 at 1:20 PM, MissyE said:

You're learning Spanish? 

Thanks for dropping by MissyE.  

 

Yes, Spanish is pretty essential here.  It's great your 3-year old is learning it.  

 

Everything went well in the big city and I had 3 good meals.

[Giulietta]

Hello Gridley,

 

Good for you - getting out and away from familiar surroundings - and the babies. I hope your wife is doing OK.  Hiding the suitcases until you have to head out is smart thinking.  My little one used to become emotional when he saw me packing bags to head off somewhere.

 

How did your CNS / anxiety / etc. do during your trip?

 

Whether we deal with the angst of leaving our homes - or simply don't enjoy traveling anywhere because it's a hassle and are homebodies - it's nice to sleep in our beds.

 

Giulietta

 

 

[Gridley]

15 minutes ago, Guilietta said:

How did your CNS / anxiety / etc. do during your trip?

 

Giuletta,

 

No anxiety, pretty good mood the whole time.  I like the city, Cuenca.  We lived there for two years before we moved to the mountain.  We had three good meals, one was some great seabass, known here as corvina, and some Peruvian-style ceviche (which is cooked by marination as opposed to Ecuadorian-style, which is cooked), then great pasta with pancetta, then more sea bass.  If I could eat like that more often, I'd gain back some of my WD-lost weight.  We stayed in an old house converted to a small hotel in the Old Town.  The trip showed me the anhedonia can lift.

 

We're going to the States in October for Kathy's college reunion, so let's hope that works as well as this trip.  

 

Yes, I'm a homebody too (I call myself the world's least-likely pioneer.)and love my own bed, especially with the pups nearby.  I even enjoy hearing them snore.  Very acojedor (cozy).

 

Gridley

 

[Giulietta]

Hello Gridley,

 

How wonderful. I am glad you enjoyed your visit and were reminded of feeling a bit of joy if I can describe it like that. Engaging in activities or being in places that make you happy somewhat often might overall lift spirits. The last time I went on a vacation - I came back and wrote down how happy I felt - to remind myself that I can feel so happy. Maybe you did that. 

 

The food sounds yummy - waht a treat to get 3 special meals that you didn't have to prepare yourself OR clean up after.

 

11 minutes ago, Gridley said:

If I could eat like that more often, I'd gain back some of my WD-lost weight.

 

Incentive to go there more frequently if you can ....

 

12 minutes ago, Gridley said:

so let's hope that works as well as this trip.  

 

Have positive expectations. Yes, it will work out!

 

13 minutes ago, Gridley said:

(I call myself the world's least-likely pioneer.)and love my own bed, especially with the pups nearby.  I even enjoy hearing them snore.

 

Very good expression. I like my own bed - especially with the weighted blanket and my little dog. I hope you brought them back a small toy.

 

Very glad you had an enjoyable trip and felt fine.

 

Hugs,

Giulietta

 

 

[Frogie]

59 minutes ago, Gridley said:

 

Giuletta,

 

No anxiety, pretty good mood the whole time.  I like the city, Cuenca.  We lived there for two years before we moved to the mountain.  We had three good meals, one was some great seabass, known here as corvina, and some Peruvian-style ceviche (which is cooked by marination as opposed to Ecuadorian-style, which is cooked), then great pasta with pancetta, then more sea bass.  If I could eat like that more often, I'd gain back some of my WD-lost weight.  We stayed in an old house converted to a small hotel in the Old Town.  The trip showed me the anhedonia can lift.

 

We're going to the States in October for Kathy's college reunion, so let's hope that works as well as this trip.  

 

Yes, I'm a homebody too (I call myself the world's least-likely pioneer.)and love my own bed, especially with the pups nearby.  I even enjoy hearing them snore.  Very acojedor (cozy).

 

Gridley

 

Sounds like you had a very enjoyable trip. Good food, although, I’ve never had sea bass (I’m not much of a fish eater), and sounds like it was mood lifting.  You will have a lot of fun back in the States, re-exploring.  I’m a homebody for the most part. But knowing the stores are around the corner sure does help! Give the babies hugs from me😊

Take care,

 Frogie xx

[Carmie]

Hi Gridley, 

 

I enjoyed reading your last post, it made me hungry.🤣🤣 Glad you had a nice trip🧡

[JackieDecides]

On 1/31/2020 at 11:06 AM, Gridley said:

love my own bed, especially with the pups nearby.  I even enjoy hearing them snore.  Very acojedor (cozy).

 

sounds like heaven!