thecowisback: wondering why I'm giving up Prozac

[thecowisback]

does anyone have any recommendations for self help books that cover erp? i have so many books but they're all such heavy reading! brain lock is the only one i've had any success with in the past. seeing a therapist is not an option for me as the waiting list on the nhs is dire. i can't even get to see a psychiatrist, and going private is prohibitively expensive. 

[puthappinessfirst]

I'm actually going to my therapist today. I'll ask for book recommendations. One I like is The Happiness Trap.

[Ather]

5 hours ago, Vonnegutjunky said:

 

 i hate to be a downer about it but it’s reality - and the reality is the meds stopped the intrusive thinking for me -

  

 

Then why taper the med ? what was the downside of taking it ? 

[thecowisback]

1 hour ago, puthappinessfirst said:

I'm actually going to my therapist today. I'll ask for book recommendations. One I like is The Happiness Trap.

thankyou 😊

[Vonnegutjunky]

20 hours ago, puthappinessfirst said:

 

A therapist who specializes in OCD and uses ERP is the "gold standard" for treating OCD. If a therapist focuses on things like mindfulness and not ERP, they can help for a bit (it's always nice to have someone to talk to), but it's not very effective for OCD intrusive thoughts. ACT is another great modality which I really enjoy and can be very effective as well. 

That’s great to know, thank you put. 

 

Also the happiness trap is the book my therapist recommended to me too. 

[Vonnegutjunky]

18 hours ago, Ather said:

 

Then why taper the med ? what was the downside of taking it ? 

 

Well I wanted to come off becuse it is causing damage to my liver, and I now have metabolic issues due to taking it....since trying to resintate I had a severe adverse reaction to it, if I could reinstate successfully I would just take it forever, but it doesn’t work for me now, it now makes me feel horrific. So I have to stop taking it. And I will probably negatively react to all ssri meds now,  and I’m not willing to try another one....akathisia was so horrible it’s put me off from even trying s benzo. I’d rather suffer than have akathisia ever again. 

[thecowisback]

26/3

7am got up. terrible night's sleep with lots of intrusive thoughts. took prozac 3mg.

8.20 got a bad headache and feel dizzy.

11 am feeling tired. still got a headache. 

1 pm drove to city for an appointment. very anxious. 

3.30 picked up kids from school. feeling very scared. 

4.00 went for a long walk. lots of ocd thoughts. 

5.00 cooked dinner. upset and scared. 

8.30 still bad headache. couldn't cope with kids fighting and went to bed. 

11.30 took levothyroxine 75 mcg, magnesium 200mg, candesartan 40mg, sage 50mg. 

had trouble falling asleep after napping in the evening. 

[Altostrata]

Are you getting a headache regularly after taking 3mg Prozac? You haven't posted any daily notes since you upped your dosage March 23.

 

On 3/24/2019 at 6:34 PM, Altostrata said:

 

These are probably not caused by withdrawal. You will need to address these thoughts with a counselor. Writing these thoughts down when they occur to you might help.

...

 

TCIB, did you try writing down your intrusive thoughts?

 

Are you trying to address your OCD by increasing Prozac? Not sure if we can help you with this.

[thecowisback]

the daily notes are all there. i've had a headache on and off over the last few days but it might be because of the heavy cold i've got at the moment. my sinuses are all blocked. 

i'm not directly trying to address the ocd with prozac as i know i need to learn to deal with that on my own, but i'm hoping the prozac will lesson some of the extreme anxiety i've had since coming off the drug as i find it hard to deal with the ocd thoughts when i'm feeling such fear and panic all the time. when i do get rare calmer moments (or a window of a day or so) i find i can dismiss the ocd a lot more easily. 

i've been writing my thoughts in my notebook that i keep my daily notes in. 

[Ather]

22 hours ago, Vonnegutjunky said:

 

Well I wanted to come off becuse it is causing damage to my liver, and I now have metabolic issues due to taking it....since trying to resintate I had a severe adverse reaction to it, if I could reinstate successfully I would just take it forever, but it doesn’t work for me now, it now makes me feel horrific. So I have to stop taking it. And I will probably negatively react to all ssri meds now,  and I’m not willing to try another one....akathisia was so horrible it’s put me off from even trying s benzo. I’d rather suffer than have akathisia ever again. 

 

My Liver profile was the main reason I left Zoloft.

Bilirubin and Alkaline Phosphatase were out of the range.

Even then I was reinstated because of my horrible condition.

Stayed on it for a few months then when I got stable I was switched to a light Tricyclic, 6 months after taking the Tricyclic, got the Liver profile done and it was normalized.

Then tapered it step by step in a year or so from 50mg Prothiaden to 37.5 to 25 to 12.5 and then I was done with it.

This is just me, you are similar to me that's why sharing.

SSRI's can do damage to the liver, Light Tricyclics are far far safer.

[thecowisback]

27/03

7 am took 3mg prozac. a little dizzy but headache is a lot better. 

8.30 took kids to school. quite anxious but better than yesterday. 

1.00 had lunch. feeling very scared but managed to diffuse intrusive thoughts. very tired. headache came back for an hour or so. used some vicks vaporub under my nose and that helped. 

5.00 cooked dinner. a bit calmer today. listened to music while i was cooking. 

7.00 feeling a bit panicky but managed to diffuse the thoughts again. 

11pm took levothyroxine 75 mcg, magnesium 200mg, candesartan 40mg, sage 50mg.  had trouble falling asleep because of noisy neighbours. 

[Vonnegutjunky]

8 hours ago, Ather said:

 

My Liver profile was the main reason I left Zoloft.

Bilirubin and Alkaline Phosphatase were out of the range.

Even then I was reinstated because of my horrible condition.

Stayed on it for a few months then when I got stable I was switched to a light Tricyclic, 6 months after taking the Tricyclic, got the Liver profile done and it was normalized.

Then tapered it step by step in a year or so from 50mg Prothiaden to 37.5 to 25 to 12.5 and then I was done with it.

This is just me, you are similar to me that's why sharing.

SSRI's can do damage to the liver, Light Tricyclics are far far safer.

 

I believe they are safer - 

when I am lower on my medication I’m going to try cbd for my anxiety issues to see if it really can help - right now I have cns inflammation - it was triggered by withdrawal - that is a huge problem for me right now  

[thecowisback]

28/03

7am got up after 4 hours sleep. exhausted. took 3 mg prozac. 

1 pm tried to nap but couldn't fall asleep. 

9 pm managed to calm down a little and managed to watch tv. 

Non-stop panic and ocd thoughts for most of the day.

10.45 pm took levothyroxine 75 mcg, magnesium 200 mg, sage 50mg, candesartan 40mg.

[powerback]

8 hours ago, thecowisback said:

28/03

7am got up after 4 hours sleep. exhausted. took 3 mg prozac. 

1 pm tried to nap but couldn't fall asleep. 

9 pm managed to calm down a little and managed to watch tv. 

Non-stop panic and ocd thoughts for most of the day.

10.45 pm took levothyroxine 75 mcg, magnesium 200 mg, sage 50mg, candesartan 40mg.

Hi TCIB ,sorry for putting  the cat amongst the pigeons ,but what are you taking the sage for ,is magnesium a little high and what type are you taking .probably doesn't affect your sleep but im surprised theres so many types of magnesium.   

[thecowisback]

sage for hot flushes at night, and the magnesium is citrate. you're right  - there are so many different kinds! i've tried stopping the magnesium for a few weeks to see if it did affect my sleep but it never made any difference. i'm not sure if it does anything tbh! 

[powerback]

1 minute ago, thecowisback said:

sage for hot flushes at night, and the magnesium is citrate. you're right  - there are so many different kinds! i've tried stopping the magnesium for a few weeks to see if it did affect my sleep but it never made any difference. i'm not sure if it does anything tbh! 

Ah ok thanks TCIB ,ye the absorption can be low of certain types  also ,I need to start taking magnesium ,mine is totally depleted with the stress ,of course the health store didn't have the one I wanted and I still walked out with one I didn't want ,I have the receipt lol.  

[GonnaBeOk]

@thecowisback and @powerback There’s a mag spray I like called EASE. I get on Amazon. It’s a little expensive but it lasts a long time and is well absorbed. And it doesn’t itch like many other mag sprays. Sometimes I put on bottom of feet at night. 

[thecowisback]

thanks i'll try that. i had a spray before and it itched like crazy so i'll give it a go.

[Altostrata]

Given its long half-life, it takes at least a week for a Prozac dosage increase to take full effect.

 

Speaking of itching, when you increase the Prozac dose, how has the itching on your leg changed?

 

Magnesium is best taken in small amounts throughout the day.

 

@Ather please stop encouraging people to take psychiatric drugs. This is a site for people going off drugs voluntarily. We don't convince anyone to go off their drugs if they don't want to. We also don't encourage people to take additional psychiatric drugs for whatever problems they might have. We leave it up to them to decide, they can go to a doctor if they want more drugs, they don't have to participate here.

[thecowisback]

the itching hasn't changed. some days it's there, some not. 

[Altostrata]

Please keep track of the itching as well as your other symptoms in your daily notes.

[thecowisback]

ok, i keep forgetting about that symptom!

 

[thecowisback]

29/03

7am took 3mg prozac. feeling a little panicky. 

11am trying to diffuse ocd thoughts. went to an appointment. very scared waiting to be seen. 

2pm had to do shopping feeling stressed and very tired. 

4pm feeling a lot calmer. 

5 pm cooked dinner. still fairly calm. 

6.30 lost my temper really badly when something went wrong. went for a drive on my own to calm down. 

7.30 feeling calmer. very tired.

9 watched a film . quite calm. 

11.15 took candesartan 40mg, sage 50mg, magnesium 200mg, levothyroxine 75mcg.

[Altostrata]

Do you feel more panicky after you take Prozac? Are you frightened of the drug?

 

Are you afraid of going out of your house or driving?

 

Why were you scared of the appointment? Were you worrying about it all morning?

 

Note you felt a lot better later in the day. Was it worrying about the appointment that set you off earlier?

[thecowisback]

i seem to start the day off extremely scared on waking and then the fear usually carries on until after dinnertime then it subsides a lot in the evening. 

i don't seem to feel any more panicky after taking prozac, i just wake up like that. getting out of the house isn't a problem. driving only bothers me if i have to drive in the city. driving locally is fine. 

i wasn't scared about the appointment until i go there and had to wait a long time. i had a book to read but as time went on i started to think of everything that could go wrong. once the appointment was over i still felt on edge for the rest of the afternoon. 

 

[thecowisback]

zapologies for not updating with notes for the last few days.

i've been in a tailspin of panic and ocd since saturday night and yesterday was just unbearable. 

i had some bad news which set off my ocd. i've alienated the family again which my constant requests for reassurance and not being able to understand why they aren't scared of the same thing i'm obsessing over. 

i wonder if it's the increase of prozac kicking in as i raised the dose 11 days ago. i'm just hoping things level off soon as at the moment i am back at rock bottom with some very dark thoughts.

has anyone else found their anxiety increased during reinstatement?

if only this panic and fear would end!!!

[thecowisback]

there has been one positive thing i've noticed since reinstating prozac - i'm dreaming again, or at least i'm remembering some of my dreams now! i feel like i haven't dreamt (except for the occasional nightmare) for the last couple of years but now i seem to dream most nights.weird! 

[thecowisback]

2/03

7 am got up after a terrible night with next to no sleep. took prozac 3mg

8.30 took kids to school. high anxiety. 

11.00 very tired. tried to nap but my busy mind wouldn't let me. 

1.00 forced myself to eat lunch but felt sick with fear.

3.30 picked kids up from school. anxiety lessening a little. 

5.00 cooked dinner. tearful and scared.

spent the evening watching tv with the kids. much calmer. 

11.00 took levothyroxine 75mcg, sage leaf 50mg, candesartan 4mg ran out of magnesium. went to bed.exhausted. 

[thecowisback]

only noticed this morning i've been putting down in my notes that i took 40mg candesartan each day when it's 4 mg - doh!

[thecowisback]

i've read a couple of times on here this morning that it can take up to 2years to stabilize after a reinstatement. how do people know what dose to stop at, or do they just keep increasing slowly if they see no improvement until they're back to their original dose?

[thecowisback]

3/03

7am took 3mg prozac. fairly good night last night. woke several times but managed to get back to sleep.

8.15 feel very dizzy. 

10.00 took a friend to a hospital appointment. very bad ocd thoughts. trying to dismiss them . went for a very long walk while waiting. tearful on the way home from friend's house. 

3.30 picked up kids. feeling very scared and tearful. 

5 pm cooked dinner and chatted to friend on phone while cooking which stopped me getting so anxious. 5 pm is always a low point of the day. 

7pm very tired. avoided napping to help with sleep tonight. 

11pm took candesartan 4 mg, levothyroxine 75mcg, sage leaf 50mg. had trouble getting to sleep even though i was exhausted.

[thecowisback]

i don't know how much longer i can keep plodding on like this. my family want me to take the full 20mg dose of prozac. they're sick and tired of my constant fear and crying. i'm sick and tired of my constant fear and crying and the never-ending thoughts cycling over and over in my head. 

i'm very close to saying to hell with it and swallowing the whole pill every day, and then a warning bell goes off in my head and says ' but what if that makes things even worse?' 

some days at the moment i can't imagine things being any worse than they feel now. i really don't know what to do. no-one can tell me or advise me and i know if i take the whole dose then i'll have to leave here as this site doesn't deal with people going onto meds, only coming off. 

i find myself at a huge crossroads yet again and i feel whichever route i take it's going to end in tears. 

 

[powerback]

9 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

i don't know how much longer i can keep plodding on like this. my family want me to take the full 20mg dose of prozac. they're sick and tired of my constant fear and crying. i'm sick and tired of my constant fear and crying and the never-ending thoughts cycling over and over in my head. 

i'm very close to saying to hell with it and swallowing the whole pill every day, and then a warning bell goes off in my head and says ' but what if that makes things even worse?' 

some days at the moment i can't imagine things being any worse than they feel now. i really don't know what to do. no-one can tell me or advise me and i know if i take the whole dose then i'll have to leave here as this site doesn't deal with people going onto meds, only coming off. 

i find myself at a huge crossroads yet again and i feel whichever route i take it's going to end in tears. 

 

Hi TCIB ,im in the same sinking boat  as you.what a nightmare hey .all you can do is inform yourself and make a decision ,if your nervous system is compromised the odds arnt in your favour of an introduction of a big dose.

Keep increasing slowly is all you can do if thats what you feel you need .we live it not anyone else ,so others opinions need to be taking with a pinch of salt.

Im litterly like a prisoner in a small darkened out room but I cant do anything else.

I respect you helped a freind at an apointment but do you wonder if all this snaps back on you.I wouldn't personally go near a hospital in this state.

Raising kids and withdrawal seems loads to me to begin with.

Take care.

 

[dj2010]

19 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

i don't know how much longer i can keep plodding on like this. my family want me to take the full 20mg dose of prozac. they're sick and tired of my constant fear and crying. i'm sick and tired of my constant fear and crying and the never-ending thoughts cycling over and over in my head. 

i'm very close to saying to hell with it and swallowing the whole pill every day, and then a warning bell goes off in my head and says ' but what if that makes things even worse?' 

some days at the moment i can't imagine things being any worse than they feel now. i really don't know what to do. no-one can tell me or advise me and i know if i take the whole dose then i'll have to leave here as this site doesn't deal with people going onto meds, only coming off. 

i find myself at a huge crossroads yet again and i feel whichever route i take it's going to end in tears. 

 

 

Do you feel better than you did before reinstating the Prozac? If you feel worse then I don’t think increasing will make things better

[thecowisback]

i've had more windows and the depression has lifted a huge amount, but i have no way of knowing if that's down to the prozac or stopping amlodipine which can cause depression. the waves now seem more intense than before. i'm not sure if that's true or if it's how i'm perceiving them but i feel like i'm making life such a misery for my family and i just want this intense fear to stop. 

oddly enough pb hospitals don't phase me much. because of family health problems in the past i'm well used to them and just look forward to having nice lunch in the canteen 😉 have you got any more insight as to how you've gotten so bad at the moment? do you still think it's down to overdoing it when you helped your friend recently?

[powerback]

4 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

i've had more windows and the depression has lifted a huge amount, but i have no way of knowing if that's down to the prozac or stopping amlodipine which can cause depression. the waves now seem more intense than before. i'm not sure if that's true or if it's how i'm perceiving them but i feel like i'm making life such a misery for my family and i just want this intense fear to stop. 

oddly enough pb hospitals don't phase me much. because of family health problems in the past i'm well used to them and just look forward to having nice lunch in the canteen 😉 have you got any more insight as to how you've gotten so bad at the moment? do you still think it's down to overdoing it when you helped your friend recently?

Oh yes of course doing that work ruined me ,I was doing light walks when I could the previous few months.its my ego,it perceives all this process as weakness so it pushed me towards self destructive ego machoism.in the summer I did work on my house while having a chest infection .dam nuts I was.anymore work on the house ,I will get help from my uncle ,I need to drop my gaurd and be ok with not doing things .

The podcasts I listen to dont help ,alfa male.I listen to joe rogan and some of hes guests drive my critic insane.

 

I have a weird body dismorfia going on ,I feel like a monster alfa male stuck inside a "weak beta males body" .

Im used to people asking me to do things and I cant now.I thought this experience would humble me but its the opissite ,it could kill me.

Thats cool you enjoy hospitals,nothing but triggers for me (sick asthmatic child)and being a germ afobe ,no thanks ha.

The bonus is your depression has lifted .dont fret why for now,enjoy it being gone.

Your are not a sociopath,you are not doing this to your family on purpose,maybe theyl be forced to learn more about this process..

Take Care