Nikki74: Lexapro mirtazapine diazepam akathisia

[UnfoldingSky]

Nikki, I see you haven't been around as much, I hope you are holding up okay?

 

 

[Nikki74]

On 17/12/2017 at 5:40 PM, AliG said:

Nikki. This too shall pass. I know your son is leaving soon and that will be surely having an impact ~ I understand. Stress, like that can exacerbate symptoms and possibly cause a wave.

 

What are the symptoms of your akathisia? How does it impact or affect you?  What do you do about it, if anything? How are you currently handling your anxiety? What pro-active steps are you taking to deal with this?  

Hi Ali

 

Yes my son left on Saturday. I managed to hold it together until he’d gone. My Mum has thankfully come to stay (though she’s just in remission from blood cancer so we support each other, she’s a blessing).

 

Akathisia 

My head is permanently restless and wants to be onto the next thing and next thing...sometimes it’s more high speed, others it’s lower but I never have peace;

 

Sometimes it’s just pure terror;

 

I can’t stay in one place or position long;

 

I can only focus on a distraction for maybe five minutes;

 

I get bugs under my skin (though this has lessened lately);

 

I have to move my legs, rub my knees or feet together because of the inner feeling;

 

I have to squeeze and wring my hands;

 

I’ve always got the restless head and the other aspects vary through the day.

 

I can’t do anything about the akathisia. Just have to exist with it. A hot shower sometimes soothes but doesn’t take it away. I used a heated pad and weighted blanket to soothe a little or ‘distract’.

 

I use grounding techniques when panic arises from it or from dr/dp. I normally need to reach out to someone to help grounding.

 

I do breathing. I listen to nature sounds.

 

Sometimes I can draw for five minutes or sew or knit for a few minutes but agitation rises and I have to stop.

 

I rub or squeeze my feet for comfort.

 

I have the tv on and try to focus on it or engage my brain if it’s a quiz.

 

I play a word game app on my phone but it can trigger ocd and panic so just short spells on this.

 

I look at the view from my house and name what I can see to ground myself.

 

I self soothe and talk to myself with compassion.

 

I pray, pray and pray. For others first then myself.

.......

My head obsesses over the fears I have around the drugs I’m still taking. This is a big source of depression for me. As well as how my life is, how badly my mobility is affected etc.

[Nikki74]

4 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said:

Nikki, I see you haven't been around as much, I hope you are holding up okay?

 

 

I’m here. Just getting through each day. 

 

Yesterday afternoon I had a window where everything left apart from the akathisia which was lower level.

 

Thank you for checking in US. I hope you’re doing a bit better X

[Nikki74]

I managed three separate visitors today (short visits from family and a friend) without high agitation, sewed for half hour or so, laughed this evening, cracked a joke. Little things! 

 

(Also had awful akathisia this morning then it lowered and two crying spells but there were positives today)

[Gridley]

On 12/19/2017 at 8:35 AM, Nikki74 said:

 

I self soothe and talk to myself with compassion.

 

That is great, Nikki74,  Talking to yourself with compassion is very healing.  No judging, just a lot of loving.

[UnfoldingSky]

10 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

I managed three separate visitors today (short visits from family and a friend) without high agitation, sewed for half hour or so, laughed this evening, cracked a joke. Little things! 

 

(Also had awful akathisia this morning then it lowered and two crying spells but there were positives today)

 

Lovely to hear you had some better moments Nikki! What were you sewing, fixing or making something?  Also wonderful to hear your Mom has come to stay with you. x

 

[AliG]

On 12/19/2017 at 11:35 PM, Nikki74 said:

I used a heated pad and weighted blanket to soothe a little or ‘distract’.

 

I use grounding techniques when panic arises from it or from dr/dp. I normally need to reach out to someone to help grounding.

 

I do breathing. I listen to nature sounds.

 

Sometimes I can draw for five minutes or sew or knit for a few minutes but agitation rises and I have to stop.

 

I rub or squeeze my feet for comfort.

 

I have the tv on and try to focus on it or engage my brain if it’s a quiz.

 

I play a word game app on my phone but it can trigger ocd and panic so just short spells on this.

 

I look at the view from my house and name what I can see to ground myself.

 

I self soothe and talk to myself with compassion.

 

Nikki ~ you're doing awesomely well. I'm often blown away by some of the beautiful people on this site ~ and you just happen to be one of them. Well done. I'm glad I asked the question - as your answer will also help many others. You are trying, and that is so very important as well as having a positive attitude. I know you will make it through this : it's just a matter of time. I know you probably don't believe that ~ but it is perhaps one of the most important factors ~ along with acceptance. It all takes patience.   

Ali 

[Nikki74]

On 21/12/2017 at 10:31 AM, UnfoldingSky said:

 

Lovely to hear you had some better moments Nikki! What were you sewing, fixing or making something?  Also wonderful to hear your Mom has come to stay with you. x

 

Hi US

 

I make padded decorative hearts for hanging around the home. Use different fabrics and ribbons and buttons. I use fabrics I’ve designed too and had printed up (before all this ct hell happened!).  I’ve also got my Dartmoor pony paintings printed on fabric to use.

 

I long to feel the inner peace and joy from doing this but it’s something of a brief distraction at least and creative. X

Edited December 22, 2017 by Nikki74

[Nikki74]

On 21/12/2017 at 12:49 PM, AliG said:

 

Nikki ~ you're doing awesomely well. I'm often blown away by some of the beautiful people on this site ~ and you just happen to be one of them. Well done. I'm glad I asked the question - as your answer will also help many others. You are trying, and that is so very important as well as having a positive attitude. I know you will make it through this : it's just a matter of time. I know you probably don't believe that ~ but it is perhaps one of the most important factors ~ along with acceptance. It all takes patience.   

Ali 

Thank you for your kind words Ali. I was really touched. 

 

I hope the little things I do can help others.

 

I long to get tapering but patience, I know. 

 

X

[UnfoldingSky]

17 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Hi US

 

I make padded decorative hearts for hanging around the home. Use different fabrics and ribbons and buttons. I use fabrics I’ve designed too and had printed up (before all this ct hell happened!).  I’ve also got my Dartmoor pony paintings printed on fabric to use.

 

I long to feel the inner peace and joy from doing this but it’s something of a brief distraction at least and creative. X

 

Hey Nikki, sounds lovely...you know my fondness for all things Dartmoor.   How's your day been today?  Not a great day here, injury acting up again...can't get much of a break. x

 

 

[Nikki74]

On 23/12/2017 at 5:35 AM, UnfoldingSky said:

 

Hey Nikki, sounds lovely...you know my fondness for all things Dartmoor.   How's your day been today?  Not a great day here, injury acting up again...can't get much of a break. x

 

 

Yes, I know you’re a Dartmoor fan.

I dream of walking there again one day.

 

I’m very sorry to hear about your injury continuing to cause you problems. I hope things ease for you soon.

 

I seem to be in a fairly predictable routine these last few days: morning dark depression, afternoons kind of hyper productivity driven by akathisia but it’s new that I’m bothered about doing stuff around the home, sorting etc. Then fatigue but restless aka head in the evening. 

 

Thank you for supporting me this year and I hope you can have a peaceful Christmas xxx

[Nikki74]

Will tapering and wd be as bad as these last few months?

 

I so want to lighten my drug load. Can feel the sedating drugs depressing me and I’m sure the lexapro isn’t good, I wonder if it’s been causing me akathisia type issues for years.

 

Did anyone get off many drugs including a benzo, safely and slowly after being so messed up by cts?

 

Just needed to vent and question!

 

 

[Littlegrandma]

Hi Nikki

thanks for stopping by my thread. 

I suggest you read Pugs success story if you haven’t already. Very inspiring!!

Merry Christmas Eve.  Hugs lg

[Nikki74]

29 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

Hi Nikki

thanks for stopping by my thread. 

I suggest you read Pugs success story if you haven’t already. Very inspiring!!

Merry Christmas Eve.  Hugs lg

No problem LG.

 

Thank you. Yes I just re read it. Unfortunately it’s too different from mine to answer some of my questions (multiple cts and still on multiple drugs) BUT it is a positive story for sure! 

 

Merry Christmas Eve to you too xxx

[UnfoldingSky]

On 24/12/2017 at 8:07 AM, Nikki74 said:

Yes, I know you’re a Dartmoor fan.

I dream of walking there again one day.

 

I’m very sorry to hear about your injury continuing to cause you problems. I hope things ease for you soon.

 

I seem to be in a fairly predictable routine these last few days: morning dark depression, afternoons kind of hyper productivity driven by akathisia but it’s new that I’m bothered about doing stuff around the home, sorting etc. Then fatigue but restless aka head in the evening. 

 

Thank you for supporting me this year and I hope you can have a peaceful Christmas xxx

 

Nikki, hope your Christmas was peaceful as well. I pray you are able to get to Dartmoor in the New Year, will stabilize and have an easier time getting off the pills, and get back to a full life. And thank you for your kind wishes and concern over my injury too you are such a sweet person to speak to, your kind thoughts are so moving as I know what you are going through is so much worse. xxx

 

 

[Nikki74]

1 hour ago, UnfoldingSky said:

 

Nikki, hope your Christmas was peaceful as well. I pray you are able to get to Dartmoor in the New Year, will stabilize and have an easier time getting off the pills, and get back to a full life. And thank you for your kind wishes and concern over my injury too you are such a sweet person to speak to, your kind thoughts are so moving as I know what you are going through is so much worse. xxx

 

 

Thank you US. Your prayer for me really moved me.

 

My Mum and I went to my Sister’s house for lunch and into the evening, she kindly picked us up and dropped us home and cooked a lovely lunch. I was quite peaceful in the afternoon there with them both. But depression seems to be my close companion more these days and the morning and evening were overshadowed by it. Deep, desperate and black. I am there again this morning. 

 

I feel sure the diazepam is doing this to me on top of wd and the loss of so much included my independence. 

 

I wish I could do something about it. There’s no ‘thinking my way out of it’ it’s just here.

 

Nikki X

[bubble]

It seems that overstimulation/agitation/akathisia has been replaced by 'depression'.

 

I wouldn't attribute it to diazepam. I noticed it with myself and others that this is a natural dynamics of our CNS: periods of overstimulation use sooo much of our energy at all levels (light a Xmas trip lit up at full blast). After a while a safety switch is pulled and recharging period of our flat battery starts. That 'depression' is actually a recharging period and since I started seeing it like that I started welcoming it: finally my body and brain are enjoying some peace, all the energy is used for repairs and that's why I feel so dark and flat. Reframing the experience like that helped me a lot to endure it. It's not diazepam or my 'previous condition' or a 'situational depression' but recharging of a flat battery.

Edited December 26, 2017 by bubble

[Nikki74]

1 hour ago, bubble said:

It seems that overstimulation/agitation/akathisia has been replaced by 'depression'.

 

I wouldn't attribute it to diazepam. I noticed it with myself and others that this is a natural dynamics of our CNS: periods of overstimulation use sooo much of our energy at all levels (light a Xmas trip lit up at full blast). After a while a safety switch is pulled and recharging period of our flat battery starts. That 'depression' is actually a recharging period and since I started seeing it like that I started welcoming it: finally my body and brain are enjoying some peace, all the energy is used for repairs and that's why I feel so dark and flat. Reframing the experience like that helped me a lot to endure it. It's not diazepam or my 'previous condition' or a 'situational depression' but recharging of a flat battery.

Thanks Bubble. I do recall you saying similar before. 

 

I know when I used to take the odd diazepam (maybe 3 a month) I’d feel depressed the next day. So was thinking it’s doing that now. Plus I feel so drowsy and muscle weakness and fatigue are exacerbated on top of my CFS but still have akathisia as can’t rest and my head can’t settle but it’s generally lower level agitation. It never goes.

 

I will try to reframe it though.

 

What has stability looked like for you in the past?

 

I don’t know how long to go on until I try a cut on the lexapro or diazepam.

 

Keep getting migraines each month and now have shivers and nausea (had them before). Feel fluey and pale as a sheet so going to bed to try to rest.

 

Edited December 26, 2017 by Nikki74

[Nikki74]

So I’ve got the weird drunk feeling again that I was getting before (just looked it up and it was 11 Dec onwards for a few days; also coincided with a migraine coming on, this time my migraine has just left, not sure there’s a connection or coincidence).

 

Hard to string words together when I speak, and stagger around and am clumsy.

 

I was blaming it on the diazepam but I had a few days without it.

 

Is it just another aspect of wd? 

 

Feel a tickly feeling in my forehead and eyes are heavy but can’t rest. 

Edited December 27, 2017 by Nikki74

[UnfoldingSky]

On 26/12/2017 at 6:09 AM, Nikki74 said:

Thank you US. Your prayer for me really moved me.

 

My Mum and I went to my Sister’s house for lunch and into the evening, she kindly picked us up and dropped us home and cooked a lovely lunch. I was quite peaceful in the afternoon there with them both. But depression seems to be my close companion more these days and the morning and evening were overshadowed by it. Deep, desperate and black. I am there again this morning. 

 

I feel sure the diazepam is doing this to me on top of wd and the loss of so much included my independence. 

 

I wish I could do something about it. There’s no ‘thinking my way out of it’ it’s just here.

 

Nikki X

 

Hi Nikki,

 

I'm glad you were able to see your family but so sad about the depression. I think once you are able to taper the Valium you may get your answer if it's the cause of some of the depression though, it took just one cut for me to figure out it was bothering me. Not that the rest of pill isues I had been through were likely to make me feel ever so happy! But definitely was making things worse!

 

Thinking of you,

 

USxx

[UnfoldingSky]

16 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

So I’ve got the weird drunk feeling again that I was getting before (just looked it up and it was 11 Dec onwards for a few days; also coincided with a migraine coming on, this time my migraine has just left, not sure there’s a connection or coincidence).

 

Hard to string words together when I speak, and stagger around and am clumsy.

 

I was blaming it on the diazepam but I had a few days without it.

 

Is it just another aspect of wd? 

 

Feel a tickly feeling in my forehead and eyes are heavy but can’t rest. 

 

Hi Nikki, I just saw this.  This may not be what's going on, but, I'm wondering if this may be a sign of an interaction (maybe between the sedating pills you are on)? Maybe a mod knows?  Has it cleared up now?

[Kristine]

Hi Nikki, I have just been reading your thread and I'm so sorry for you are suffering so much.  Your experiences since the 11th of December hit a cord with me.  I have been on multiple drugs and was CT from many.  It's been a hot mess to be frank. I have copied the below from my thread. Many of the sympotoms have improved...particularly the vertigo, coordination and headaches/migraines....I posted this on the 7th December 2017

List of ongoing daily withdrawal issues/symptoms (nausea has thankfully eased a little)

• Constant headache ranging from dull ache to migraine
• vertigo and dizziness, also happens when I'm in bed and move my head
• uncoordinated and clumsy - frequently bumping into doorways and dropping items (legs turned to jelly and I fell once
• uncontrolable body tremors. Unable to coordinate walking at times.
• feel like I walk in slow motion 
• unable to drive 
• difficulty concentrating - unable to formulate simple sentences without extreme mental effort, difficultly following simple written or verbal instructions. Memory issues.
• lack of appetite (I have lost 15kg over 10months) I had weight to loose due to seroquel weight gain.
• insomnia 
• fatigue 
• extreme muscular aches and pains. Increased sensitivity to pain.
• buzzing/jolting/flickering sensation in my brain and behind my eyes
• All senses heightened. Very sensitive to light, some smells make me feel nauseated (similar to morning sickness). Some sounds eg.ticking clock are unbearable
• relentless anxiety - pacing, restless, rocking, clenched jaw
• Hours of severe depression. Feeling that my family would be happier without me.  Ruminating negative thoughts.
• unable to regulate body temperature. Hot / Cold / excessive sweating/ shivers
• wierd fuzzy feeling under my skin

Hope this helps you feel less isolated with symptoms. K 

[Staz]

Unfoldingsky,

How big a cut in your Valium did it take to notice it was causing you depression.

I've suffered continuous depression ever since starting V and I've a previous failed c/t and some odd 5 day usages prior to this. Ever since the failed reinstatement I've felt this black cloud over me. I was convinced it was Lyrica so got off of that but after 5 months free of it no change whatsoever. I'm now suspicious of the V.

Staz

[Nikki74]

11 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said:

 

Hi Nikki, I just saw this.  This may not be what's going on, but, I'm wondering if this may be a sign of an interaction (maybe between the sedating pills you are on)? Maybe a mod knows?  Has it cleared up now?

Thank you for commenting US. 

 

I had it again today. 

 

I’m normally groggy from the remeron in the morning then take the 5mg lexapro which makes me sleepy and 2mg diazepam an hour and a quarter later and I normally can’t function then until 10.30 when I have very bad depression.

 

This tends to lift around midday. Then I take the 1pm diazepam dose and it’s normally 3pm I get hit with the heavily drugged/ drunk thing and can barely string words together. 

 

Some days it continues into the evening. Today it lifted about 4.30pm.

[Nikki74]

11 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said:

 

Hi Nikki,

 

I'm glad you were able to see your family but so sad about the depression. I think once you are able to taper the Valium you may get your answer if it's the cause of some of the depression though, it took just one cut for me to figure out it was bothering me. Not that the rest of pill isues I had been through were likely to make me feel ever so happy! But definitely was making things worse!

 

Thinking of you,

 

USxx

Thanks US, Staz has asked you here on my thread a question about what cut you first made and I’d be interested to know too. I know he’s struggling terribly with relentless depression and for many months.

[Nikki74]

5 hours ago, Staz said:

Unfoldingsky,

How big a cut in your Valium did it take to notice it was causing you depression.

I've suffered continuous depression ever since starting V and I've a previous failed c/t and some odd 5 day usages prior to this. Ever since the failed reinstatement I've felt this black cloud over me. I was convinced it was Lyrica so got off of that but after 5 months free of it no change whatsoever. I'm now suspicious of the V.

Staz

Staz I’ve flagged up to US about your question and hopefully she’ll let us know. She’s lovely. I’ve been thinking of you every day X

[Nikki74]

10 hours ago, Kristine said:

Hi Nikki, I have just been reading your thread and I'm so sorry for you are suffering so much.  Your experiences since the 11th of December hit a cord with me.  I have been on multiple drugs and was CT from many.  It's been a hot mess to be frank. I have copied the below from my thread. Many of the sympotoms have improved...particularly the vertigo, coordination and headaches/migraines....I posted this on the 7th December 2017

List of ongoing daily withdrawal issues/symptoms (nausea has thankfully eased a little)

• Constant headache ranging from dull ache to migraine
• vertigo and dizziness, also happens when I'm in bed and move my head
• uncoordinated and clumsy - frequently bumping into doorways and dropping items (legs turned to jelly and I fell once
• uncontrolable body tremors. Unable to coordinate walking at times.
• feel like I walk in slow motion 
• unable to drive 
• difficulty concentrating - unable to formulate simple sentences without extreme mental effort, difficultly following simple written or verbal instructions. Memory issues.
• lack of appetite (I have lost 15kg over 10months) I had weight to loose due to seroquel weight gain.
• insomnia 
• fatigue 
• extreme muscular aches and pains. Increased sensitivity to pain.
• buzzing/jolting/flickering sensation in my brain and behind my eyes
• All senses heightened. Very sensitive to light, some smells make me feel nauseated (similar to morning sickness). Some sounds eg.ticking clock are unbearable
• relentless anxiety - pacing, restless, rocking, clenched jaw
• Hours of severe depression. Feeling that my family would be happier without me.  Ruminating negative thoughts.
• unable to regulate body temperature. Hot / Cold / excessive sweating/ shivers
• wierd fuzzy feeling under my skin

Hope this helps you feel less isolated with symptoms. K 

Thank you so much for reaching out Kristine.

 

I read your story and it’s shocking and I’m so sorry for what you’ve suffered! We’re the same age. 

 

I see you’re cutting one of your drugs. When or how did you decide to start that as I’m holding in hopes I’ll stabilise enough to slowly get tapering one of these drugs. You say it feels empowering to be doing it, you’re an inspiring lady coming through what you have. I’m so fearful of what the future holds with these drugs, I think because I’ve experienced such shock and hell already (the akathisia has been horrifying and the crazy mental stuff) and I want to be functional for myself and my son. 

 

Thanks for identifying with these symptoms. Hard to work out what’s the drugs and what’s the cts.

 

I have been getting better spells in many days these past two weeks (not symptom free but improved) and I hope it continues but I’ve had less pressure on me for various reasons and that’s changing again very soon back to usual pressures). 

 

Anyway, good to hear from you and keep in touch x

[Staz]

Hi Nikki and thank you.

Been thinking of you too.

Keep holding my hands.

Steve. xxx

[Nikki74]

23 minutes ago, Staz said:

Hi Nikki and thank you.

Been thinking of you too.

Keep holding my hands.

Steve. xxx

I’m holding on tight Steve. Don’t let go! Xxx

[UnfoldingSky]

Nikki and Steve, I can't recall how much Valium it was, just let me poke around here, I may have some notes on this.  

 

 

 

[Kristine]

Hi Nikki,  These experiences are terribly frightening.  I can defiantly relate to the 'drunk' feeling you describe which correlate with some of my symptoms I posted on your thread.  I think I jinxed myself because I've got a booming headache today!!!  I am suffering from both depression and anxiety and I have previously described it as....feeling dead inside but hypervigelent at the same time. I'm in a constant state of fight or flight.  What is important to note is....

1) The depression and anxiety is different to what I experienced 10 years ago, when I was first diagnosed and prescribed an antidepressant (Effexor).  My symptoms have got much worse over the years.

2) I was originally placed on these medications because of onging trauma which I had no control over (the Australian court failed to protect my child).  A horrendous situation which would have left any mother in a emotionally distraught state. Medication was not the answer.  

3) When I first started the medication I became suicidal.  I had never been suicial prior to this.

4) Over the past two years my situational stressors have eased considerably.  However, I have been sicker than ever before (alarm bells).  Psychotropic polypharmacy, withdrawal (paticually ct), major drug interaction and side effects have caused horrific damage but I do not think I am beyond repair.  However, I do not believe I will return to my previous 'high functioning' self.

 

3 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

I see you’re cutting one of your drugs. When or how did you decide to start that as I’m holding in hopes I’ll stabilise enough to slowly get tapering one of these drugs.

 

One particually psychiatrist treated me as his personal experiment.  Over 11months he had put me on over 14 psychotropic medications.  When I cancelled my appointments (March 2017) he had me on....escitalopram 2.5mg (had reduced from 30mg); bupropion 300mg, seroquel 300mg,  clonazepam 1.5mg,  lithium 450mg (reduced from 900mg), fluoxetine 40mg and dexamphetamine 20mg.  I was a shell, a zombie, grossly overmedicated.  So, since March I have ceased and partially reduced all but three medications. I am being supported by my long term psychiatrist but all these reductions were too fast and I began my own research in October 2017 and thankfully found SA in December 2017.  The withdraw effects have been ongoing and crippling however, I'm a suffering far less from the horrible side effects of multiple drugs.  Lesser of the two evils? I don't know?  My latest drop was the dexamphetamine again.  I feel the combination of this and fluoxetine, which is also stimulating is contributing to the anxiety/akathisia. I had decreased the clonazepam significantly but am stuck at my current dose because the withdrawal were unbearable.  I am holding at the moment until I stabilise again.  My 'stable' is not an absence of symptoms, just a state when I feel I have regained enough strength to decrease again.  However, Nikki, I can't work (another devestating blow), rarely socialise and on a good day I just potter around the house trying to achieve what I can. Not sure if this answered your question? I guess it's not a linear process.

 

3 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

I think because I’ve experienced such shock and hell already (the akathisia has been horrifying and the crazy mental stuff) and I want to be functional for myself and my son. 

 

This is why you have to go at a pace that this right for you.  My son turned 18 this year and is doing very well...I guess all the hard work has paid off ☺️ I'm very proud of him.  So I can focus more on myself now.  Sounds like your son is younger.

3 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

I have been getting better spells in many days these past two weeks (not symptom free but improved) and I hope it continues but I’ve had less pressure on me for various reasons and that’s changing again very soon back to usual pressures). 

 

That is very promising and good news.  Currently, my CNS has very little tolerance for life's pressures.  Either positive or negative life 'pressures' can make me crash quickly.  Overstimulation is not my friend.  I think this is a key aspect of recovery.  Eliminating the pressures/stressors that you can and accepting the life pressures that you can't change. At the same time fitting in a taper when it feels right and not putting yourself under pressure to do this if the timing is not right.

 

I really do emphasise with you Nikki.  I don't know what the answers are.  All we can do is battle through, say kind words to ourselves (I've been working on this one) and enjoy those brief windows when they appear. 

Lovely to meet you and I'll keep in touch. Hugs, K 

[Nikki74]

Sorry not responded to kind posts. Have been hit by massive wave. Was down to about 8 out of 27 symptoms for a while but almost all symptoms back today, horrific. Feels like dying and going crazy at the same time. 

 

Been hanging on.

[wantrelief]

I am so sorry you have been hit with a bad wave, Nikki.  I think it is a great sign that you were down to 8 out of 27 symptoms for awhile  - your brain is capable of going back there, just hang on.  I will be thinking about you.

[Kristine]

Hi Nikki, Just letting you know I am thinking of you and hoping this wave doesn't last too long.  I was reading your list of self care methods which, in itself,  shows your ability to work through these tough symptoms.  The weighted blanket is something I haven't tried...I'm going to look into it 😊 I few months ago I bought one of those 'ultrasonic aromatherapy diffusers', it has been a life safer at times.  Particually for headache/migraine I use peppermint oil which helps while in bed in a dark room.  Maybe your mum could buy you one (lots of beautiful designs) and I'm sure many are on sale at the moment.  Lavender and rosemary oil also help for different symptoms. Take care Nikki. K 

[Downbutnotout]

2 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Sorry not responded to kind posts. Have been hit by massive wave. Was down to about 8 out of 27 symptoms for a while but almost all symptoms back today, horrific. Feels like dying and going crazy at the same time. 

 

Been hanging on.

 I have no idea what you must be going through. You sound very brave to withstand all this pain. I hope you are feeling better soon.

[Littlegrandma]

Nikki

thinking of you and praying you get relief soon. This wd is horrible and so unfair. You were making progress with symptoms being reduced. I hope it’s just a small blip and short wave. Hang on.   Lg