UnfoldingSky Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 Okay I'm back with my Valium info. I looked around and have only a few notes left about what I did regarding tapering. (I was on a benzo site where I wrote a lot of stuff, and also had a separate book specifically for tapering; when I finished the taper though I got rid of the book figuring I had enough info on the site, then the site closed. So have only bits and pieces left in some other notes.) From what I'm gathering, and this was not in the notes but have a vague recollection about this--i would have tried to switch over to Valium from Ativan in order to taper safely (since Ativan has a short half life and Valium's is longer) . I can't recall exactly how much Ativan I would have been on then; I know my initial total benzo dose was 1.5mg Ativan but am not completely sure after reviewing this that I did not taper a little bit before trying to substitute all of the Ativan (in stages) over to equivalent amount of Valium. 1.5 mg of Ativan is roughly 15mg of Valium, that I know for sure. I was definitely able to transfer one of my 0.5mg doses of Ativan over for 5mg of Valium. I think problems then ensued when I tried to change another 0.5 mg Ativan dose for another 5mg of Valium, based on what little notes I have left. So very technically if I have this right...I would have been on 10mg of Valium and 0.5mg of Ativan very briefly, absolutely know that at some point in the transfering from Ativan to Valium I hit a black fog of depression which seemed directly tied to this switching. I think I last four or five days on the 10mg of Valium, before I switched 5mg of Valium back to Ativan. Noticed an immediate improvement; the depression was so crushing at the other level I felt like I could not even physically move, and have some very faint recollection of sitting on the floor just almost paralzyed by it. This is though technically not an overall benzo cut BUT does suggest that Valium can be an issue. A further situation to consider though which I forgot in above post--there's an interaction between Valium and Propranolol, which I was also on. Also, from what I read I would have then after sticking with the five mg of Valium at night and then Ativan for the other doses tapered down on Ativan as much as I could. I am very sure as I did that the world started to seem less dull, and even recall at one point hitting a period where colors seemed so bright they sometimes "hurt" to look at (this did improve over time, not like this at all anymore.) Ativan for me was nowhere near as sedating/depressing as Valium, though again the Valium may have been worse partly due to that interaction. Then once I got to down a ways on the Ativan I think I may have subbed in more Valium for the remaining Ativan then continued to taper until I was off. I know as i went down on the valium too things were improving generally speaking. So this is a convoluted way of saying I'm not sure what my first true cut of Valium was specifically however, with that attempted switch to Valium from Ativan early on, it showed me the Valium (or the Valium with Propranolol mixed in) was causing horrid depression. Steve without reading your intro thread I would think if you reinstated Valium and felt immediately more depressed then it may be an issue. This said, it may be you will have to stabilize (not knowing your other symptoms) and you will still have to taper slowly. But I think as one tapers off Valium an answer as to how much of the depression is coming from it should be had. Sorry I can't give more specifics, I wish I had saved the posts I had on that site. I hope this is clear too if not just let me know and maybe I can distill it down more. Also it should be noted--what I mean by depression lifting from the Valium cutting/removal via switching, is the really heavy stuff. I still could have issues not feeling happy, hating life because all of my withdrawal was not done with yet. But the stuff I had from that Ativan to Valium switch was just unbearable. I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 9 hours ago, Nikki74 said: Sorry not responded to kind posts. Have been hit by massive wave. Was down to about 8 out of 27 symptoms for a while but almost all symptoms back today, horrific. Feels like dying and going crazy at the same time. Been hanging on. Nikki, my thoughts are with you. xx I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 30, 2017 Author Share Posted December 30, 2017 14 hours ago, wantrelief said: I am so sorry you have been hit with a bad wave, Nikki. I think it is a great sign that you were down to 8 out of 27 symptoms for awhile - your brain is capable of going back there, just hang on. I will be thinking about you. Thank you WR. Very kind of you to visit and post. I worked out I was down to an average of 12/13 daily symptoms but yesterday I was up to 23. Today it’s a little fewer but goodness it’s still the big ones: akathisia, crushing depression, panic, fear and drugged/drunken/fatigue. I read some of your thread. My memory is so bad. I must have before. I too wonder if I’m in tolerance to the lexapro I’m on and might post that as a question for a mod. (Are you on Baylissa’s page? No need to say if so though) How are you doing? 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 30, 2017 Author Share Posted December 30, 2017 7 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said: Nikki, my thoughts are with you. xx Thank you US. Sick of being sick but doing what I can to comfort. It’s been a demanding three days with personal life and changes and I’m done in by symptoms. Always appreciate your visits xx 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 30, 2017 Author Share Posted December 30, 2017 14 hours ago, Downbutnotout said: I have no idea what you must be going through. You sound very brave to withstand all this pain. I hope you are feeling better soon. Thank you for stopping by DBNO. It’s intense for sure! I read some of your thread but my brain is struggling but I wanted to send supportive hugs. Really kind of you to stop by X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 30, 2017 Author Share Posted December 30, 2017 15 hours ago, Kristine said: Hi Nikki, Just letting you know I am thinking of you and hoping this wave doesn't last too long. I was reading your list of self care methods which, in itself, shows your ability to work through these tough symptoms. The weighted blanket is something I haven't tried...I'm going to look into it 😊 I few months ago I bought one of those 'ultrasonic aromatherapy diffusers', it has been a life safer at times. Particually for headache/migraine I use peppermint oil which helps while in bed in a dark room. Maybe your mum could buy you one (lots of beautiful designs) and I'm sure many are on sale at the moment. Lavender and rosemary oil also help for different symptoms. Take care Nikki. K Thank you Kristine. My Sister has one of those aromatherapy diffusers. I’ll look into it. I’m so sensitive to smells but it might be worth trying. The weighted blanket is one of my best purchases. Expensive to get a proper one but worth it. Scared today by the damage done to me and whether I can stabilising on these drugs. I think lexapro pooped out on me in 2016. Now these heavy sedating drugs on top. Sorry not making much sense as so fatigued (but restless!). Thanks for stopping by x 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 30, 2017 Author Share Posted December 30, 2017 9 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said: Okay I'm back with my Valium info. I looked around and have only a few notes left about what I did regarding tapering. (I was on a benzo site where I wrote a lot of stuff, and also had a separate book specifically for tapering; when I finished the taper though I got rid of the book figuring I had enough info on the site, then the site closed. So have only bits and pieces left in some other notes.) From what I'm gathering, and this was not in the notes but have a vague recollection about this--i would have tried to switch over to Valium from Ativan in order to taper safely (since Ativan has a short half life and Valium's is longer) . I can't recall exactly how much Ativan I would have been on then; I know my initial total benzo dose was 1.5mg Ativan but am not completely sure after reviewing this that I did not taper a little bit before trying to substitute all of the Ativan (in stages) over to equivalent amount of Valium. 1.5 mg of Ativan is roughly 15mg of Valium, that I know for sure. I was definitely able to transfer one of my 0.5mg doses of Ativan over for 5mg of Valium. I think problems then ensued when I tried to change another 0.5 mg Ativan dose for another 5mg of Valium, based on what little notes I have left. So very technically if I have this right...I would have been on 10mg of Valium and 0.5mg of Ativan very briefly, absolutely know that at some point in the transfering from Ativan to Valium I hit a black fog of depression which seemed directly tied to this switching. I think I last four or five days on the 10mg of Valium, before I switched 5mg of Valium back to Ativan. Noticed an immediate improvement; the depression was so crushing at the other level I felt like I could not even physically move, and have some very faint recollection of sitting on the floor just almost paralzyed by it. This is though technically not an overall benzo cut BUT does suggest that Valium can be an issue. A further situation to consider though which I forgot in above post--there's an interaction between Valium and Propranolol, which I was also on. Also, from what I read I would have then after sticking with the five mg of Valium at night and then Ativan for the other doses tapered down on Ativan as much as I could. I am very sure as I did that the world started to seem less dull, and even recall at one point hitting a period where colors seemed so bright they sometimes "hurt" to look at (this did improve over time, not like this at all anymore.) Ativan for me was nowhere near as sedating/depressing as Valium, though again the Valium may have been worse partly due to that interaction. Then once I got to down a ways on the Ativan I think I may have subbed in more Valium for the remaining Ativan then continued to taper until I was off. I know as i went down on the valium too things were improving generally speaking. So this is a convoluted way of saying I'm not sure what my first true cut of Valium was specifically however, with that attempted switch to Valium from Ativan early on, it showed me the Valium (or the Valium with Propranolol mixed in) was causing horrid depression. Steve without reading your intro thread I would think if you reinstated Valium and felt immediately more depressed then it may be an issue. This said, it may be you will have to stabilize (not knowing your other symptoms) and you will still have to taper slowly. But I think as one tapers off Valium an answer as to how much of the depression is coming from it should be had. Sorry I can't give more specifics, I wish I had saved the posts I had on that site. I hope this is clear too if not just let me know and maybe I can distill it down more. Also it should be noted--what I mean by depression lifting from the Valium cutting/removal via switching, is the really heavy stuff. I still could have issues not feeling happy, hating life because all of my withdrawal was not done with yet. But the stuff I had from that Ativan to Valium switch was just unbearable. Thank you so much for writing all this and doingyour research US. I do still feel the sedating drugs for me are behind the depression as much as wd. I guess there’s not a lot I can do about it as clearly so unstable still. X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 30, 2017 Author Share Posted December 30, 2017 15 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: Nikki thinking of you and praying you get relief soon. This wd is horrible and so unfair. You were making progress with symptoms being reduced. I hope it’s just a small blip and short wave. Hang on. Lg Thank you for popping by and sending support Lg. Really kind of you. Fatigued, depressed and restless today, the morning depression and in the evening is just crushing. Will stop by your thread soon. X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 30, 2017 Author Share Posted December 30, 2017 Had a better evening than the last few. Symptoms down on yesterday’s (enter swear word)storm. Far from great but I’ll take it. 🙏 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 That’s good Nikki. It’s a start! xx Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Kristine Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 10 hours ago, Nikki74 said: Thank you Kristine. My Sister has one of those aromatherapy diffusers. I’ll look into it. I’m so sensitive to smells but it might be worth trying. Hi Nikki, glad to hear your evening was a little better. I am also sensitive to smells and I can't tolerate many essential oils. Also I use only a few drops in my diffuser. And only have it on for about one hour. There are only three that I use. Peppermint - headache/migraine...also helps my nausea. Rosemary - I use this for meditation. Helps me focus but calming at the same time. Lavender - relaxation...often used in conjunction with a 'progressive muscle relaxation' guided meditation Im looking into the weighted blanket you mentioned. Do you mind sharing the brand/size you use? K Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week) Parnate 20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017 Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017 Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016 Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016 Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased) Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week) Nortriptyline (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased) Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks) Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks) Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week) Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread) 28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg (1:1 ratio), 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg, 12th September 2.7mg, 18th October 2.5mg, 14th Nov 2.3mg, 12th December 2.1mg, 18th January 2023 1.9mg, 9th July 2023 1.88mg, 16th July 1.86mg, 23rd July 1.84mg, 30th July 1.82mg, 6th Aug 1.80mg, 10th Sept 1.7mg, 12th Oct 1.68mg, 23rd Oct 1.66mg, 30th Oct 1.64mg, 6th Nov 1.62mg, 13th Nov 1.60mg, (2:1 ratio) 30th Dec 1.597mg, 7th Jan 2024 1.595mg, 8th 1.592mg, 10th 1.589, 11th 1.587, 12th 1.585, 13th 1.583, 14th 1.58 cont… 5th Feb 1.56mg, 11th Feb 1.55mg, 19th Feb 1.54mg, 26th Feb 1.53mg, 4th March 1.52mg, 11th March 1.51mg, 25th March 1.50mg, 1st April 1.49mg, 8th April 1.48mg, 15th April 1.47mg, 22nd April 1.46mg, 29th April 1.45mg Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets) Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) "Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome" Unknown Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 Just need to reach out. I’m being plagued by trauma stuff. I’ve had it throughout this awful ct experience and I’ve had trauma therapy and normal counselling so many times but this whole wd experience has thrown it all up at me repeatedly. I know this is triggered by my son going away and returning and seeing my ex (I have a lot of pain associated with my leaving him years ago and it connects up with childhood stuff around the same events and guilt for my son). I dream about my ex and wake up in trauma. I have been trying to move on and build my life but now this drug stuff and I feel so hopeless and scared. It swamped me two days ago when I was hit with a massive increase in symptoms. Today it’s just looping and I fear I’ll never have a normal brain that can manage these things. I’m deep breathing and have been doing grounding techniques and self soothing but it’s overwhelming me. Does anyone else get this kind of torment? Will I ever be ok and not plagued by these things? In floods of tears now. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 2 minutes ago, Nikki74 said: Today it’s just looping and I fear I’ll never have a normal brain that can manage these things. I’m deep breathing and have been doing grounding techniques and self soothing but it’s overwhelming me. Does anyone else get this kind of torment? Will I ever be ok and not plagued by these things? In floods of tears now. I wish I knew Nikki. I’m having the same fears and ruminating thoughts. Ive been crying for weeks. Im sitting here now, wondering if my life will ever be normal again. If I will have control over this anxiety. Anxiety that makes every part of my body sick. It is torture. I’m sorry for you and for all of us going through this hell. Lg 2 minutes ago, Nikki74 said: Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 4 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said: I wish I knew Nikki. I’m having the same fears and ruminating thoughts. Ive been crying for weeks. Im sitting here now, wondering if my life will ever be normal again. If I will have control over this anxiety. Anxiety that makes every part of my body sick. It is torture. I’m sorry for you and for all of us going through this hell. Lg Thank you Lg for reaching out. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through as well. This is just cruel. I’m sending my love and holding out my hand across the miles. We’re in the same place with these drugs aren’t we. Maybe this pain is the healing, I don’t know. X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 5 minutes ago, Nikki74 said: Thank you Lg for reaching out. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through as well. This is just cruel. I’m sending my love and holding out my hand across the miles. We’re in the same place with these drugs aren’t we. Maybe this pain is the healing, I don’t know. X I’m having flashbacks of my life before lexapro. I think I have been downplaying what the anxiety was doing to me. It was not unlike what I’m feeling today. I wonder if I can live a happy life without drugs. Or is it the drugs and wd messing with my mind. It is all consuming. Last night my husband said that’s all we ever talk about. But it is all I can think about. It’s hard to change the channel when it effects every inch of my body and mind. I hope this pain is the healing, Nikki. Hugs xx Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 44 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said: I’m having flashbacks of my life before lexapro. I think I have been downplaying what the anxiety was doing to me. It was not unlike what I’m feeling today. I wonder if I can live a happy life without drugs. Or is it the drugs and wd messing with my mind. It is all consuming. Last night my husband said that’s all we ever talk about. But it is all I can think about. It’s hard to change the channel when it effects every inch of my body and mind. I hope this pain is the healing, Nikki. Hugs xx I understand completely Lg. Everything you’ve said. We do talk about wd as it’s all consuming. I joined Baylissa’s site and she has videos for family explaining it’s perfectly normal for those in wd to talk about symptoms and wd all the time. I’m sorry you had that to deal with from your husband. It’s tough on both of you. I read people’s stories that say they can live without drugs. I know for me, depression and anxiety have been ever present in my life and when I wasn’t on drugs I was drinking, or doing both. The only time I’ve not had one or both was before I started drinking at about 14/15 and when I was pregnant. I want to know that me again but it’ll be different because of all the life experiences and this experience and hopefully the tools and growth from this. But it’s scary and unknown and tough beyond words. Wd definitely messes with your perception of everything!! Someone told me don’t trust what your head’s telling you in wd! But here I’ve been in the throes of the worst narrative about myself, grasping for some ledge of the now to hold and climb on. I’ve cleared the kitchen and am on high alert sitting here typing and hoping I can keep a grasp on safety in my body and mind today. I drew a page of doodles and wrote out words to sum up my trauma stuff and surrounded it with words like peace and calm and safety. Then prayed to have all the scary stuff taken from me. I cant see signatures when I’m on my phone, are you holding on your lexapro dose right now? 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 19 minutes ago, Nikki74 said: I understand completely Lg. Everything you’ve said. We do talk about wd as it’s all consuming. I joined Baylissa’s site and she has videos for family explaining it’s perfectly normal for those in wd to talk about symptoms and wd all the time. I’m sorry you had that to deal with from your husband. It’s tough on both of you. I read people’s stories that say they can live without drugs. I know for me, depression and anxiety have been ever present in my life and when I wasn’t on drugs I was drinking, or doing both. The only time I’ve not had one or both was before I started drinking at about 14/15 and when I was pregnant. I want to know that me again but it’ll be different because of all the life experiences and this experience and hopefully the tools and growth from this. But it’s scary and unknown and tough beyond words. Wd definitely messes with your perception of everything!! Someone told me don’t trust what your head’s telling you in wd! But here I’ve been in the throes of the worst narrative about myself, grasping for some ledge of the now to hold and climb on. I’ve cleared the kitchen and am on high alert sitting here typing and hoping I can keep a grasp on safety in my body and mind today. I drew a page of doodles and wrote out words to sum up my trauma stuff and surrounded it with words like peace and calm and safety. Then prayed to have all the scary stuff taken from me. I cant see signatures when I’m on my phone, are you holding on your lexapro dose right now? You have so much insight, Nikki. I enjoy your writing. I, like you, have self medicated my whole life. Starting at about the same age as you. I’m nearing 60 now. The happiest time of my life, I was on Zoloft. I stopped drinking, smoking during those years. Thank God. That was when I was raising my kids and living a happy, clear headed life. Funny thing. I didn’t know Zoloft was an AD when I started it. My dr prescribed it for insomnia. It helped with so much more than that. In a few weeks I was calm , clear headed, and noticed my mild ocd was gone. 10 or 12 yrs later, I went off of it without much fanfare. In the following years I started drinking and smoking again, not realizing I was self medicating. Insomnia and anxiety slowly crept back in to my life. The lexapro was a bad experience though. It made me completely apathetic. I had no excitement for life and all the blessings that I have. I would like to see the world without a film of drugs covering my eyes and brain. I started a small taper yesterday. I went from 5 mg to 4.8. Tiny reduction. But I shook so bad as I was trying to measure the dose. My anxiety was so out of control. It ruined me for the rest of the day. So irrational. Trying to to get a grip today. I’m much calmer and hopefully can get back to some relaxing techniques. I have to check out baylissa’s site. Heard it mentioned a lot on this forum. I hope you find find some peace today, Nikki. Hugs xx Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 1 hour ago, Littlegrandma said: You have so much insight, Nikki. I enjoy your writing. I, like you, have self medicated my whole life. Starting at about the same age as you. I’m nearing 60 now. The happiest time of my life, I was on Zoloft. I stopped drinking, smoking during those years. Thank God. That was when I was raising my kids and living a happy, clear headed life. Funny thing. I didn’t know Zoloft was an AD when I started it. My dr prescribed it for insomnia. It helped with so much more than that. In a few weeks I was calm , clear headed, and noticed my mild ocd was gone. 10 or 12 yrs later, I went off of it without much fanfare. In the following years I started drinking and smoking again, not realizing I was self medicating. Insomnia and anxiety slowly crept back in to my life. The lexapro was a bad experience though. It made me completely apathetic. I had no excitement for life and all the blessings that I have. I would like to see the world without a film of drugs covering my eyes and brain. I started a small taper yesterday. I went from 5 mg to 4.8. Tiny reduction. But I shook so bad as I was trying to measure the dose. My anxiety was so out of control. It ruined me for the rest of the day. So irrational. Trying to to get a grip today. I’m much calmer and hopefully can get back to some relaxing techniques. I have to check out baylissa’s site. Heard it mentioned a lot on this forum. I hope you find find some peace today, Nikki. Hugs xx Thank you for your kind words Lg. I often feel in free fall (like earlier) and not much insight is with me then! I don’t think it’s irrational to have anxiety when making a cut. Let me know how it goes. I’m glad you’re calmer today. I too have had some of my best times on meds, but also my absolute worst too! Wishing you some peace today. I’m going to try a little drawing. Big hugs, you’re doing great xxx 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 15 hours ago, Kristine said: Hi Nikki, glad to hear your evening was a little better. I am also sensitive to smells and I can't tolerate many essential oils. Also I use only a few drops in my diffuser. And only have it on for about one hour. There are only three that I use. Peppermint - headache/migraine...also helps my nausea. Rosemary - I use this for meditation. Helps me focus but calming at the same time. Lavender - relaxation...often used in conjunction with a 'progressive muscle relaxation' guided meditation Im looking into the weighted blanket you mentioned. Do you mind sharing the brand/size you use? K Thanks for the info Kristine. That’s good of you. The blanket I got was from a UK company called Sensory Direct. I bought the largest and heaviest they did which is 8lbs in weight and is a single duvet size. But it could do being heavier, and they sell extra weights to slot into the sections on it. Some websites tell you what weight they should be for your size but I had too much cog fog and was desperate with relentless akathisia at the time so just bought it! X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
AliG Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 4 hours ago, Nikki74 said: Just need to reach out. I’m being plagued by trauma stuff. I’ve had it throughout this awful ct experience and I’ve had trauma therapy and normal counselling so many times but this whole wd experience has thrown it all up at me repeatedly. I know this is triggered by my son going away and returning and seeing my ex (I have a lot of pain associated with my leaving him years ago and it connects up with childhood stuff around the same events and guilt for my son). I dream about my ex and wake up in trauma. I have been trying to move on and build my life but now this drug stuff and I feel so hopeless and scared. It swamped me two days ago when I was hit with a massive increase in symptoms. Today it’s just looping and I fear I’ll never have a normal brain that can manage these things. I’m deep breathing and have been doing grounding techniques and self soothing but it’s overwhelming me. Does anyone else get this kind of torment? Will I ever be ok and not plagued by these things? In floods of tears now. Hi Nikki. These feelings are normal in withdrawal. I had them too ~ they disappear, in time.Try not to give them any oxygen and just let them go. I practice, imagining myself sitting on a riverbank and watching my thoughts float on by like the leaves down that river. Let them go ... It takes practice but it can be one of the most liberating things to be able to accomplish ~ and it gives you some control over your thoughts and feelings. Yes - trauma can come up, in a magnified version but it's always just thoughts ~ often caused by the drugs, but the thoughts can't hurt you. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 1 hour ago, AliG said: Hi Nikki. These feelings are normal in withdrawal. I had them too ~ they disappear, in time.Try not to give them any oxygen and just let them go. I practice, imagining myself sitting on a riverbank and watching my thoughts float on by like the leaves down that river. Let them go ... It takes practice but it can be one of the most liberating things to be able to accomplish ~ and it gives you some control over your thoughts and feelings. Yes - trauma can come up, in a magnified version but it's always just thoughts ~ often caused by the drugs, but the thoughts can't hurt you. Thank you so much for your experience and tools, Ali. I will try the leaves on the river. I get gripped by such terror, despair and loneliness. Then it lifted for a few hours today. Just the usual restlessness. Managed a drawing. Some chores. Felt some sort of peace. And now the depression and emptiness is descending. Thank you for your support and wishing you great healing in 2018 x 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 Just logging my third migraine (now with nausea too) this month. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 4 hours ago, Nikki74 said: Thank you so much for your experience and tools, Ali. I will try the leaves on the river. I get gripped by such terror, despair and loneliness. Then it lifted for a few hours today. Just the usual restlessness. Managed a drawing. Some chores. Felt some sort of peace. And now the depression and emptiness is descending. Thank you for your support and wishing you great healing in 2018 x I have really humiliated myself with my crazy behavior the last few months. I do think it’s the reaction to withdrawal and everything. I’ve acted really crazy. I wish I knew if this was going to abate soon, and I was back to myself. I had to believe it’s the withdrawal from this stuff. I wish it would’ve never happened but what can I do? It’s so out of character. So sad, and sick. I hope you felt better later and your peace stayed. I hate these doctors for doing this to all of us. It’s so criminal. It doesn’t sound like you do the same kind of stuff I have, and so you can be happy about it. You have so many physical symptoms to contend with. Sounds like you’re quite the fighter. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 9 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: I’m having flashbacks of my life before lexapro. I think I have been downplaying what the anxiety was doing to me. It was not unlike what I’m feeling today. I wonder if I can live a happy life without drugs. Or is it the drugs and wd messing with my mind. It is all consuming. Last night my husband said that’s all we ever talk about. But it is all I can think about. It’s hard to change the channel when it effects every inch of my body and mind. I hope this pain is the healing, Nikki. Hugs xx Little grandma I can relate. That’s what my husband says too. I can’t believe I’m in this mess myself. I have acted pretty crazy since i went off these drugs. Very suicidal half the time, embarrassed and humiliated over what I’ve done. How I’ve alienated my family. How low I’ve gone in six months. It’s unbelievable to me. How I carried on and lost myself.. . 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Kristine Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 6 hours ago, Nikki74 said: The blanket I got was from a UK company called Sensory Direct. I bought the largest and heaviest they did which is 8lbs in weight and is a single duvet size. But it could do being heavier, and they sell extra weights to slot into the sections on it. Some websites tell you what weight they should be for your size but I had too much cog fog and was desperate with relentless akathisia at the time so just bought it! X Thank you Nikki for taking the time to write this when you are feeling so terrible. I really appreciate it. 11 hours ago, Nikki74 said: I’m being plagued by trauma I can relate to this Nikki. Trauma is why I ended up on these drugs in the first place. I think we may have much in common. It is extremely difficult to navigate visitation issues regarding your child, being separated from your child, worrying, feeling guilty and then being retraumatised by coming face to face with your ex who has caused you harm. I'm reading between the lines. I guess I'm trying to tell you I understand. Over the past eight months I have been trying a fairly new treatment. It is called "neurofeedback" for trauma. I have found it helpful. Unfortunately I have been unable to get to these appointments for the past few months...due to physical w/d issues and I can drive. Anyway, just an idea. I think I have tried every treatment on offer! Google it if you like and I'm happy to answer any questions. Take care. K Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week) Parnate 20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017 Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017 Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016 Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016 Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased) Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week) Nortriptyline (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased) Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks) Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks) Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week) Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread) 28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg (1:1 ratio), 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg, 12th September 2.7mg, 18th October 2.5mg, 14th Nov 2.3mg, 12th December 2.1mg, 18th January 2023 1.9mg, 9th July 2023 1.88mg, 16th July 1.86mg, 23rd July 1.84mg, 30th July 1.82mg, 6th Aug 1.80mg, 10th Sept 1.7mg, 12th Oct 1.68mg, 23rd Oct 1.66mg, 30th Oct 1.64mg, 6th Nov 1.62mg, 13th Nov 1.60mg, (2:1 ratio) 30th Dec 1.597mg, 7th Jan 2024 1.595mg, 8th 1.592mg, 10th 1.589, 11th 1.587, 12th 1.585, 13th 1.583, 14th 1.58 cont… 5th Feb 1.56mg, 11th Feb 1.55mg, 19th Feb 1.54mg, 26th Feb 1.53mg, 4th March 1.52mg, 11th March 1.51mg, 25th March 1.50mg, 1st April 1.49mg, 8th April 1.48mg, 15th April 1.47mg, 22nd April 1.46mg, 29th April 1.45mg Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets) Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) "Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome" Unknown Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 2 hours ago, Downbutnotout said: Little grandma I can relate. That’s what my husband says too. I can’t believe I’m in this mess myself. I have acted pretty crazy since i went off these drugs. Very suicidal half the time, embarrassed and humiliated over what I’ve done. How I’ve alienated my family. How low I’ve gone in six months. It’s unbelievable to me. How I carried on and lost myself.. . Hey D im going to respond on your thread. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted January 1, 2018 Moderator Share Posted January 1, 2018 2 hours ago, Nikki74 said: Just logging my third migraine (now with nausea too) this month. I'm sorry to hear that. I get migraines, they are no fun. I hope you feel better. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 13 hours ago, Frogie said: I'm sorry to hear that. I get migraines, they are no fun. I hope you feel better. Take care, Frogie xx Thank you dear Frogie. It’s still hanging on. I think of you often and I’m sorry for not writing for a while to check in. How are you doing? Xx 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 Q. I was reading Skeeter’s successes recently. Can any mods tell me how unstable she was and then went onto taper slowly and successfully? I am concerned about the whole notion of kindling and quite how ill I’ve been these past months. If I will be able to get off these drugs eventually without going through this hell! Thank you and wishing all mods and members healing in 2018 X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted January 1, 2018 Moderator Share Posted January 1, 2018 1 hour ago, Nikki74 said: Thank you dear Frogie. It’s still hanging on. I think of you often and I’m sorry for not writing for a while to check in. How are you doing? Xx Hi: Sorry to hear it's still hanging on. Can you take anything for it? I'm doing ok, just having some anxiety. I'll be fine. I hope you feel better soon. Happy New Year! Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Staz Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 On 12/30/2017 at 5:07 AM, UnfoldingSky said: Steve without reading your intro thread I would think if you reinstated Valium and felt immediately more depressed then it may be an issue. This said, it may be you will have to stabilize (not knowing your other symptoms) and you will still have to taper slowly. But I think as one tapers off Valium an answer as to how much of the depression is coming from it should be had. Sorry I can't give more specifics, I wish I had saved the posts I had on that site. I hope this is clear too if not just let me know and maybe I can distill it down more. Also it should be noted--what I mean by depression lifting from the Valium cutting/removal via switching, is the really heavy stuff. I still could have issues not feeling happy, hating life because all of my withdrawal was not done with yet. But the stuff I had from that Ativan to Valium switch was just unbearable. Thanks for looking back over your records US. I really appreciate it. The V and depression seem to go hand in hand. I was on Lyrica and chose to taper that first as it has a reputation for causing depression and is difficult to taper. At least that's done and I'm on the last 17mg of Seroquel now so I'm finishing that off and then starting back on the V. Steve. Dosulepin 75mg 1996 - 1997 tapered off no problem - Prozac sporadic use between 1995 and 2011 usually 9 months then off. Mirtazapine 2015 tapered off after 4 months no problem -Prozac 20mg 2012-2015 tapered off no problems Prozac 20mg April 2016-May 2016 stopped ct after 4 weeks due to adverse reaction I believe to be serotnin toxicity due to mirtazapine interaction Escitlopram 10 mg May 2016 - cut to 5mg May 2016 stopped ct November 2016 no W/d's noted Lyrica 300mg May 2016 - July 2017 - Taper from Jan to Jul 17 awful taper. Lofepramine 150mg November 2016 - January 2017 Swift w/d as it didn't work Quetiapine 75mg November 2016 changed to 150 XL May2017 changed to 150mg IR July 2017 reduced to in 25mg steps from July to 50mg Oct 17. 37.5mg 12th Nov 17 - 35mg 20 Nov 17 - 30mg 22 Nov 17 - 25mg 24 Nov 17 dropped to 20mg Dec 17, 15mg Jan 18. Current taken at bedtime. Quetiapine dropped Jan 17th 2018. Dosulepin 75mg May 2017 - increased in 25mg steps to 175mg Oct 17 Reduced to 150mg Nov 17 current taken at bedtime Diazepam 15mg May 2016 - c/t'd by shrink after 6 weeks. Reinstated at 12mg after 4 weeks June 16 - current 4mg 3 times a day morning, 2.30pm and bedtime. Mirtazapine 15mg since March 2015 - current - pooped out within 4 weeks Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Nikki, I wanted to wish you and everyone here a good year, full of healing and recovery. xx I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 10 hours ago, Staz said: Thanks for looking back over your records US. I really appreciate it. The V and depression seem to go hand in hand. I was on Lyrica and chose to taper that first as it has a reputation for causing depression and is difficult to taper. At least that's done and I'm on the last 17mg of Seroquel now so I'm finishing that off and then starting back on the V. Steve. Steve, I'm glad to be of help. Congrats on getting nearly off the Seroquel, that's a monumental accomplishment, and I hope and pray your Valium taper goes well too. I was worried about mine but it turned out to go better than I had anticipated. Let me know if there's anything else I can help you with, I have to bump my thread back up one of these days, but if I don't find it will usually be found here. Have a good new year, US I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Staz Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Thanks US, I really appreciate you going to the trouble of looking through your records for me and wish you a good new year too. Steve. Dosulepin 75mg 1996 - 1997 tapered off no problem - Prozac sporadic use between 1995 and 2011 usually 9 months then off. Mirtazapine 2015 tapered off after 4 months no problem -Prozac 20mg 2012-2015 tapered off no problems Prozac 20mg April 2016-May 2016 stopped ct after 4 weeks due to adverse reaction I believe to be serotnin toxicity due to mirtazapine interaction Escitlopram 10 mg May 2016 - cut to 5mg May 2016 stopped ct November 2016 no W/d's noted Lyrica 300mg May 2016 - July 2017 - Taper from Jan to Jul 17 awful taper. Lofepramine 150mg November 2016 - January 2017 Swift w/d as it didn't work Quetiapine 75mg November 2016 changed to 150 XL May2017 changed to 150mg IR July 2017 reduced to in 25mg steps from July to 50mg Oct 17. 37.5mg 12th Nov 17 - 35mg 20 Nov 17 - 30mg 22 Nov 17 - 25mg 24 Nov 17 dropped to 20mg Dec 17, 15mg Jan 18. Current taken at bedtime. Quetiapine dropped Jan 17th 2018. Dosulepin 75mg May 2017 - increased in 25mg steps to 175mg Oct 17 Reduced to 150mg Nov 17 current taken at bedtime Diazepam 15mg May 2016 - c/t'd by shrink after 6 weeks. Reinstated at 12mg after 4 weeks June 16 - current 4mg 3 times a day morning, 2.30pm and bedtime. Mirtazapine 15mg since March 2015 - current - pooped out within 4 weeks Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 7 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said: Nikki, I wanted to wish you and everyone here a good year, full of healing and recovery. xx Thank you US. I appreciate all your wisdom and support these last few months. Wishing you wellbeing in 2018 X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 21 hours ago, Frogie said: Hi: Sorry to hear it's still hanging on. Can you take anything for it? I'm doing ok, just having some anxiety. I'll be fine. I hope you feel better soon. Happy New Year! Take care, Frogie xx Thanks Frogie. Migraine has lifted today. I don’t take anymore for them as too wary of any pills now! I tend to slap a cold wet flannel on my head and massage around my eyes. Sorry about the anxiety you’ve got. Sending hugs, Nikki X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now