Lindsay625 Posted November 16, 2017 Posted November 16, 2017 (edited) Hi everyone, beware! My story is very long, I’m mostly just sharing my experience in hopes that anyone else this has happened to knows they’re not alone or crazy despite what they’re doctor says and it’s reassuring to know people have experienced this and recovered. i am new to this site so i am still getting the hang of how things work! i am a 21 year old female, a mother of two beautiful babies and married to a very amazing supportive and kind husband. Approximately two and a half weeks ago both of my children (2 yrs old and 10 months old) came down with croup, a common illness in children that causes inflammation and restricts the airways sometimes making it difficult for them to breathe. So naturally, like any mother, i became very anxious and when my son was struggling to catch a breath i began having a panic attack. i have had panic attacks in the past (maybe once a year if that?) and they never lasted longer than a few minutes at a time. Well in the middle of this panic attack i remembered that my OB had prescribed me 50 mg Zoloft after id had my daughter just Incase i were to have post partum depression because I’d had it after having my son. (It had been a very dark two months of crying spells and feeling hopeless. I’d taken Prozac for the PPD and found it odd but also great that only a few doses brought me right out of the ppd so quickly when they said it’d take a few weeks to even work, so i never took any again after that week and was fine ever since!) Typically i only take medication as a last resort, even Tylenol. i will not take it unless i absolutely need it, but in the middle of this panic attack i told myself i could take it for a few days to help me the way the Prozac did. 😑 So i took it, determined it would help me. I had just finished a z pack the day before that (I’d been sick with my children) and i now know that z pack and Zoloft have a moderate reaction together. Anyways, i awoke the next morning with my heart racing and i sweating and i could not sit still to save my life. Just pacing around the entire house standing up and then sitting back down but no matter what i did nothing could calm me down or relax me. I felt like i had just smoked a ton of crack or something! My mind was racing and there was this burning sensation beginning in my chest and just spreading and shooting through my extremities. It was constant but would intensify in waves, the panic attacks were constant too, I’ve seen alot of people who say they thought they were having a heart attack while feeling this way but i knew this wasn’t that, i knew immediately that this was from the Zoloft. But i was sure this was it, i had destroyed my brain, i was on the verge of losing it completely. But at this point I️ got horrible pains in my stomach and (TMI) i began having diarrhea followed by complete loss of appetite. My mom had come over and ended up taking me and my two kids to work with her because i was terrified to stay home alone with the kids while my husband was at work. This continued for the next three days. I became a zombie just completely consumed by my own thoughts, like there was a war going on in my own head. I couldn’t understand what was happening to me, the ONLY emotions i had were dread, fear and hopelessness. I broke down when my son was looking for my approval when he did something funny and i couldn’t even force a smile. I couldn’t feel a single bit of happiness, excitement or anything towards other people even my freaking children. My mom took me to my doctor, my HR was 162 and i don’t remember my blood pressure but it was higher than normal but not dangerous and i explained everything going on and watched as he wrote down that i had general anxiety disorder and panic disorder (which is not true at all) and told me that one dose could not effect me. I began crying and told him that this WAS NOT ME. Ive never been so unstable and i told him three days ago i was completely functional and perfectly fine!!!!!! Of course I’ve struggled in the past with some depression and anxiety when things happened like a family member dying or after having a babyAfter explaining this he said maybe i am a low cyp2 producer or something like that and wrote me a prescription for Xanax to stop the panic attacks and to come back in one month. And we could look into other SSRIs 😂 yeah SURE. I didn’t even need them in the first place!! i left feeling a little better about having something that should calm me down but freaked out again when the Xanax did nothing. My heart was STILL racing, my mind wasn’t slowing down, the burning was still there in my chest but physically my body felt heavier and slower. I ended up going to the ER the next day when nothing changed where the doctor denied blood work at first and asked if I’d like to see a psychiatrist. I was mostly calm while explaining everything to her but I could just see in her face she didn’t believe a word i was saying. She told me Zoloft couldn’t do something like this and that it was just me. She was, and i quote, “98%, actually 99% sure that this is not the medication doing this.” Then proceeded to tell me maybe i am just now beginning to exhibit symptoms of panic disorder because some people don’t exhibit any symptoms until they’re in their twenties and then used PSYCHIZOPHRENIA as a freaking example 😡 and then that’s what began the intrusive thoughts. I left the hospital feeling more hopeless (aside from the random nurse who came and told me that Jesus loves me on my way out, that was encouraging) than before. I started convincing myself i was just losing my mind and it terrified me, what if i snap and hurt my kids? What if i black out and try to kill myself? What if i hurt my husband? Y’all, my family is everything to me and these thoughts were KILLING ME. The worst things i could think of just kept running through my mind over and over. Just as i was about to have my mom take me to a facility where i could be monitored or get some help or anything because i was so afraid i would just lose my mind, i got my first window. It was the first bit of hope i had felt since it all happened! And then i knew, what is happening, is not me. I finally had the ability to get out of my damn head for a little bit and i began googling and googling every single thing i was experiencing. By discovering that this exact same thing has happened to so many other people gave me great comfort, not that anyone else having to go through this is comforting but that IM NOT ALONE AND I AM NOT GOING CRAZY!!! So currently it has been 2 weeks and 4 days. The only remaining side effects are loss of appetite and waves of anxiety which trigger intrusive thoughts followed by depression. I still get some windows and distractions help a lot. But mornings are extremely hard, i wake up anxious and depressed and it takes a while to calm myself down, reading a lot of other people’s stories helps me to relax some. Driving around helps a lot too and sun light makes me feel much better. I’m hoping since it was only a single dose that i will fully be back to my regular self soon since thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner and I’d love to have my appetite back so i can enjoy the food!! I guess the only plus side I’ve found to all of this is i will have a much greater appreciation for life after overcoming this and i lost 12 pounds lol i just really hope to enjoy my baby girls first Christmas with her too. Three weeks ago i loved mornings, waking up before the kids and having my coffee and enjoying tv waiting for them to get up and come play. Now i dread mornings and have constant mom guilt because i feel as though i have been failing them. I think the hardest thing has been the intrusive thoughts, it absolutely terrifies me when i have them. It just blows my mind how carelessly they prescribe this medication to people. I feel so stupid for not feeling the need to research or check what I’m actually taking and what it can do to me. I just always trusted that doctors wouldn’t prescribe anything to you that could hurt you, i know there are a lot of good doctors out there but i feel like they should be more careful with this stuff. I mean both the doctors i saw gave me a list of benzos to choose from and i just looked at them like they were crazy both times. Im not touching any of that crap again. I’ve even looked into anti biotics and those are even dangerous too!!!! Edited November 17, 2017 by baroquep 1 October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted November 16, 2017 Author Posted November 16, 2017 I’ve also experienced some DP/DR but not often at all, and a lot of head pressure after being active!! And sometimes at night my face gets extremely red and I️ get fevers but nothing horribly high! October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 17, 2017 Administrator Posted November 17, 2017 Welcome, Lindsay. Well, you had a big fat adverse reaction to Zoloft, and none of the medical people you saw recognized it. The antibiotic might have been involved, or you simply cannot tolerate Zoloft. We see that people who have been on and off psychiatric drugs may become hypersensitive to them. If you were sensitive to SSRIs to begin with, even your brief exposure to Prozac might have made your nervous system more vulnerable to another SSRI such as Zoloft. Some people do not get along with SSRIs at all. We have several people here who had severe adverse reactions very shortly after starting an antidepressant, even with one pill. The symptoms afterward are the same as withdrawal syndrome -- it's all a destabilized nervous system -- and it might take some months before you recover. Please be patient, the symptoms will fade over time. The process is in fits and starts, with waves and windows, and can be very frustrating. Are you still taking Xanax? If so, how often, what dose, and for how long? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted.
Lindsay625 Posted November 17, 2017 Author Posted November 17, 2017 8 hours ago, Altostrata said: Welcome, Lindsay. Well, you had a big fat adverse reaction to Zoloft, and none of the medical people you saw recognized it. The antibiotic might have been involved, or you simply cannot tolerate Zoloft. We see that people who have been on and off psychiatric drugs may become hypersensitive to them. If you were sensitive to SSRIs to begin with, even your brief exposure to Prozac might have made your nervous system more vulnerable to another SSRI such as Zoloft. Some people do not get along with SSRIs at all. We have several people here who had severe adverse reactions very shortly after starting an antidepressant, even with one pill. The symptoms afterward are the same as withdrawal syndrome -- it's all a destabilized nervous system -- and it might take some months before you recover. Please be patient, the symptoms will fade over time. The process is in fits and starts, with waves and windows, and can be very frustrating. Are you still taking Xanax? If so, how often, what dose, and for how long? Thank you so much for replying!! I have only taken one Xanax throughout this entire thing. It didn’t really help when i took it and i am too afraid to make things worse since i stay home with my babies ): i am just so ready to not obsess over this anymore and be so consumed by it. October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted November 17, 2017 Author Posted November 17, 2017 And are these intrusive thoughts normal? They absolutely terrify me, i convince myself that I’m just going crazy and i start reminding myself of all the things I’ve seen on the news where people snap and hurt their loved ones and it just scares me because my family is everything to me. I’m just in a bad place this morning with the racing and intrusive thoughts. I seriously miss how peaceful and lovely my mornings once felt. I’m even having dreams now about being depressed and anxious! But i suppose i should be grateful that i can even sleep! I’ve seen many people on here who only get a few hours a night. October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted November 17, 2017 Author Posted November 17, 2017 I meant my HR was 102 not 162! October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Waiting12 Posted November 17, 2017 Posted November 17, 2017 Hi Lindsay. I had a very similar reaction to zoloft as you did. However, I wasn’t as smart as you (I hadn’t found this site yet & didn’t know anything about ssris, adverse reactions or withdrawal syndrome) and kept listening to the doctors trying different medications to try to get rid of the symptoms from the first bad reaction which made everything 100x worse. I’m glad you stopped when you did. Also, I was on the drugs for a longer time period than you were in the past which could be why I’m still having issues. For whatever reason sometimes these drugs can back fire even after previously tolerating them okay months or years before. & yes, one pill of Zoloft also made me pace around and have intrusive thoughts out of nowhere. Never even knew what an intrusive thought was before that day. Anyways, just wanted to welcome you and let you know you aren’t alone. Things will get better. 2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.Drug free 12-16-2016Month 1-20: +5% healing every monthMonth 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.
Lindsay625 Posted November 17, 2017 Author Posted November 17, 2017 58 minutes ago, Waiting12 said: Hi Lindsay. I had a very similar reaction to zoloft as you did. However, I wasn’t as smart as you (I hadn’t found this site yet & didn’t know anything about ssris, adverse reactions or withdrawal syndrome) and kept listening to the doctors trying different medications to try to get rid of the symptoms from the first bad reaction which made everything 100x worse. I’m glad you stopped when you did. Also, I was on the drugs for a longer time period than you were in the past which could be why I’m still having issues. For whatever reason sometimes these drugs can back fire even after previously tolerating them okay months or years before. & yes, one pill of Zoloft also made me pace around and have intrusive thoughts out of nowhere. Never even knew what an intrusive thought was before that day. Anyways, just wanted to welcome you and let you know you aren’t alone. Things will get better. Thank you so much for your reply!! I never knew what an intrusive thought was before either. I now know I’ve always had them, i just never gave them any attention because i knew they meant nothing! Wish that could still be the case. I know hat I️ am getting better but i start convincing myself I’m not and it’s like things start all over just not as severe as before! I just still can’t believe it can do this to someone. I’m so sorry you’ve been having to suffer through what you have as well. This site definitely helps with the loneliness this experience can bring on someone October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted November 17, 2017 Author Posted November 17, 2017 Has anyone else suffered with this depression that is literally triggered by anything different? I get anxious and depressed when it gets dark outside or if it’s cloudy and dreary outside (which is not normal for me AT ALL, i usually love night time and rain and cloudy days) but basically the changing of night to day triggers it and day to night. And now coming back home after being out triggers it too. But i also do this annoying thing where i think about it 24/7 and kind of bring it on myself anytime I’m in a window ): when i have a window all i can think about is when the next wave will hit. I just feel so hopeless about everything now, I’m bringing on all these new worries and problems for myself like my future and a future career and all the negative things I’ll have to endure in the future. When does it freaking end. October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 17, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Posted November 17, 2017 It's important to learn and use non drug coping techniques. Claire Weekes was a doctor who suffered from anxiety and learned and taught ways to cope. She talks about the second fear, or fear of the fear. This happens when our bodies produce feelings and because we don't understand what is happening we then become fearful/scared which adds more feelings to the body. This can then end up escalating into a panic attack. We can learn ways to understand and recognise what is happening and calm ourselves so that we don't add fear to the original discomfort. Audio: First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Audio: How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ... Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System Also lots of videos - just go to YouTube and type in Claire Weekes Non-drug techniques to cope Some members find Magnesium and Omega-3 Fish Oil helpful. I personally find that magnesium takes the edge off my anxiety. Try them separately and only a small amount to test. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management
Lindsay625 Posted November 17, 2017 Author Posted November 17, 2017 2 minutes ago, ChessieCat said: It's important to learn and use non drug coping techniques. Claire Weekes was a doctor who suffered from anxiety and learned and taught ways to cope. She talks about the second fear, or fear of the fear. This happens when our bodies produce feelings and because we don't understand what is happening we then become fearful/scared which adds more feelings to the body. This can then end up escalating into a panic attack. We can learn ways to understand and recognise what is happening and calm ourselves so that we don't add fear to the original discomfort. Audio: First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Audio: How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ... Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System Also lots of videos - just go to YouTube and type in Claire Weekes Non-drug techniques to cope Some members find Magnesium and Omega-3 Fish Oil helpful. I personally find that magnesium takes the edge off my anxiety. Try them separately and only a small amount to test. I’m so afraid to take any kind of supplement or medication ever again ): I’m terrified of another reaction to something. Is it possible for either of those to cause any kind of reaction? October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted November 19, 2017 Author Posted November 19, 2017 Just Incase anyone comes across this, i have found that sugar of any kind (especially bananas) greatly increases my symptoms!!! The last two days i have been on a STRICT Keto diet and have improved a lot!!! No more diarrhea, gaining back some appetite, no restlessness, more sleep, and very minimal anxiety. The depression is lingering but mostly when i am thinking about the depression then i feel it. October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted November 22, 2017 Author Posted November 22, 2017 So I’ve been having lots of windows, really good ones. But today i was feeling some depression and then read something on here that made me get so overwhelmed by hopelessness. All i took was ONE dose of a 50 mg tablet of Sertraline over 3 1/2 weeks ago. How did this happen?? None of the doctors believe me, i don’t think my family even believes this was the Zoloft anymore. I was not this way before taking the Zoloft at all ): i just want to enjoy Christmas and thanksgiving with my babies and family. I want to stop obsessing over how i feel. Im so scared. This cannot be the rest of my life. I can’t let this take away time from my babies. Im so scared I’m just losing my mind and blaming it on the medicine October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Moderator Emeritus baroquep Posted November 22, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Posted November 22, 2017 Hi Lindsay625, I have merged your new post back into your introduction thread as we ask that members post all of their questions in their original thread so that all of your information can be found in one spot. Good to hear that you are having a lot of really good windows, that is a very good sign. Because you had an adverse reaction to taking a single dose of Sertraline, I imagine that while it did cause your central nervous system to destabilize, that you are having windows indicates that you are slowly returning to homeostasis. Hang in there, unfortunately it can sometimes take a little more time that we expect. In the meantime, I am going to attach a few links where you might be able to find a few techniques that can help you through the times when you aren't feeling well. Please do not let any setbacks stand in the way of you not enjoying Christmas and Thanksgiving with your family. While it may seem like it is going to last forever, it does sound like you are well on your way to getting better. Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System"Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptomsChange cognitive framing - Redirect - Another Way Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptomsVideo: Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery Current Prescription Drugs for Hypothyroidism: Synthroid 100mcg / Cytomel 5mcg (15 years Pristiq/Effexor)Tapering Schedule September 15, 2016 - switched from Pristiq 50mg to Effexor XR 75mg; November 10, 2016 - reduced to 67.5 Effexor XR December 9, 2016 - reduced 60.75 January 5, 2017 - reduced 54.67 January 30, 2017 - reduced to 49.0 February 20, 2017 - reduced to 44.0 May 20, 2017 - reduced to 40.25 (holding for additional month due to late onset of withdrawal symptoms after this taper) July 17, 2017 - reduced to 38.24 August 15, 2017 - reduced to 37.5 (50% of my original dose) October 15, 2017 - reduced to 35.6 November 12, 2017 - reduced to 33.8 December 15, 2017 - up-dose to 35.6 December 28, 2017 - up-dose to 37.5
Hopefull Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 Hi Lindsey, It is terrible what these meds can do to people. I am here to offer you my support. I had an adverse reaction to Zoloft after 3 pills. The anxiety and intrusive obsessive thoughts that you are experiencing have been induced by an adverse reaction to Zoloft. I had it for a long time and it finally resolved it self as the brain started to heal. I read through your thread and you mentioned that you get weird anxiety triggers. I used to get weird anxiety triggers to. For example, I could not be around people, even visitors to my house caused me weird anxiety feeling, lot of head pressure, burning feeling at the back of my head, and front of my head. Stairwells and lifts, undercover carpark, in shopping centres would give me anxiety. I could not even sit at the doctors office, etc. I also had anxiety being around my kids, husband, and family. When you understand, how all you can think about is how your peaceful your mornings were, rest assured that you will experience it again, it just takes time. Four years on ,and I don't experience weird adverse reaction /WDS anxiety anymore. You also mentioned that, you have experienced a trigger, after reading something negative, try to avoid triggers, which I know is hard. Don't read negative things, don't watch anything upsetting on the TV. The weirdest thing for me is that I was told that I had OCD spectrum after Zoloft. Now I know that I don't, because if I did I would be obsessing over things now and I don't anymore, since I have been healing. Please remember that you will heal. You are not going crazy, you are not loosing your mind. You had an averse reaction to Zoloft and you will heal. You are already experiencing windows, which is excellent. Remember that you will heal, stay positive and take care. Best wishes, Hopefull. 2 DRUG HISTORY: November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction). January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey). January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering. October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg. September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed. September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised. February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol.
Johawaii Posted November 22, 2017 Posted November 22, 2017 I just have been to a new psychologist today and was finally overjoyed to be believed that these drugs can have such adverse reactions. We’re not crazy. I hope we all come out of the otherside, it’s been the worse 4 months of my life. 1 Citlopram 10g - 7 days August 2017 - sever adverse reaction Mirtazapine 3.75g x 5, 5 x 15g 5 days September trazadone - 150g since 01/11/17
Lindsay625 Posted November 22, 2017 Author Posted November 22, 2017 Sorry for that post everyone! I wrote it in the middle of a smaller wave! I just got so overwhelmed, im glad you are healed Hopefull! That’s very encouraging to hear, i am getting there, i think my obsessing over it is what’s prolonging all of this lol my aunt said she thinks it’s almost like ptsd, she thinks I’m just so traumatized by the adverse reaction that i stay so focused on it and how i feel that i make myself freak out sometimes and i think she’s right. For the most part when I’m distracted by friends and family i am perfectly myself and laughing and happy but then i remember everything that happened and get overwhelmed by anxious feelings and ruin the good mood and fun times!!! but you are right that i need to avoid negative triggers. That trigger sent me over the edge yesterday. But Johawaii that’s amazing!!!! What all did your psychiatrist say?? October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted November 26, 2017 Author Posted November 26, 2017 So I’ve done really well the last 4 days!!! The only things I am struggling with are random waves of anxiety and ocd. HI am afraid of feeling depressed and when I am laughing and having fun I will sometimes ruin it by suddenly thinking about whether or not I really am happy and then I make myself feel depressed lol but I am doing my best to notice it and stop myself during these instances, which sometimes works. The waves of anxiety are becoming easier to deal with, I read up on ways to stop panic attacks and came across some good information that says to get out of your head (ALOT easier said than done -_-) and focus on just your body and the physical feeling and try to bring them under control and telling your body that there is no danger and doing breathing excercises. The more I have practiced this the easier it has become!!!! My appetite is not what it was but luckily I am 10 months pp and needed to lose some weight, I may start protein shakes though so I am getting the nutrition I need because I feel that one meal a day at twelve o’clock at night could be making me feel worse lol I just need to know what’s safe and what’s not when it comes to protein shakes as I am EXTREMELY sensitive to everything right now. I’ve been developing phobias of eating anything that contains sugar or bad carbs or caffeine. Even fruits that are high in sugar scare me. The only other fear I have developed besides eating is being alone, which isn’t good because I am a stay at home mom so I’m alone most days with my babies when my husband and family are all at work! October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted December 2, 2017 Author Posted December 2, 2017 So I am having these daily waves of anxiety and depression, but windows throughout the day as well. It’s pretty exhausting but I am very grateful that throughout the day I can joke and laugh again and it’s easier to eat now. I’ve been very social still with family and friends, I actually am more social now than I was before my reaction, but I think it’s mostly because I can’t stand being alone anymore lol the depression feelings are the worst part. But they never last long, they only come when I think about it also. In my windows I’m extremely hopeful for recovery and laugh at my thought process when I am in a wave because in a wave I convince myself that this is forever and I’ll never feel happy again but sure enough in an hour I feel like myself, I HATE waves lol. I sometimes feel like I have an extreme mood swing disorder now 😒 October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Farout Posted December 7, 2017 Posted December 7, 2017 Hi Lindsay, everything you describe sounds very normal in the fallout from a bad AD reaction. I think most of us have worried about being bi-polar at some point in the throws of a waves/windows cycle. It’s not and you will get better. Takes some work though. Best wishes. March 2003 took two sartroline tablets after a traumatic incident and had a reaction so stopped. I am not sure now whether what I had for the next 18 months was WD after the reaction or the emotional fallout from the traumatic event. Some of it was very similar to WD in hindsight. February 2014 - Took five pristiq (50mg) tablets and three Ativan and had a severe reaction.Extreme withdrawal symptoms for three weeks compounded by visit to naturopath -One week later took 900mg St John's Wort x 3 daily for six weeks - more negative effects and suspected serotonin syndrome - before tapering over three weeks. Last tablet late May 2014.Waves and windows cycle of recovery with longer windows and manageable waves.May 2015 - already in a mild wave, following a usual pattern, I took clarithromicin and amoxicillin for two weeks for a sinus infection which I also seem to have had quite a reaction to. February 2016 - Feeling much better. I still have waves and windows but they are manageable. I'm largely enjoying life again.
Lindsay625 Posted December 12, 2017 Author Posted December 12, 2017 Thanks Farout! October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted December 12, 2017 Author Posted December 12, 2017 So my symptoms had totally gone away, completely!! All that was left was just the scary memory of it all for about 6 days, my appetite is completely back (a little too strong) and the anxiety is gone, but this morning the depression is back but I’m wondering if it has anything to do with me taking a couple is sips of Starbucks coffee yesterday. I had no depression before my adverse reaction so I’m hoping this isn’t something that sticks around. It gives me a very empty feeling in my gut and makes me feel like everything is different. Like the sky is darker and the world feels smaller and it’s just weird and I am ready for it to be gone October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted December 12, 2017 Author Posted December 12, 2017 Other than that I’ve been totally fine, I’ve had no problem doing everything I need to do and getting up and getting ready and enjoying going out to six flags and doing Christmas things with my husband and kids! It’s just this lingering depression I wish would go away ): October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted December 13, 2017 Author Posted December 13, 2017 Did I ruin everything by drinking caffeine? I also started eating bad again. I was 100% for almost six days and then started taking advantage of my appetite that had finally returned and have been eating bad and having soda ): now my morning anxiety has returned and depression October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted December 13, 2017 Author Posted December 13, 2017 I never had any of this anxiety or depression before my bad reaction, just occasional anxiety when my kids were sick. I don’t even feel like I can truly call that anxiety because it never tormented me like this! I was just a worrier October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted December 13, 2017 Author Posted December 13, 2017 Also one of our old friends came by who’s really bad on heroin and extremely suicidal and it stirred up some bad depression for me and brought back intrusive thoughts 😞 am I goin g to be this way the rest of my damn life. Where everything effects me so deeply?! Literally everything!! The weather changing is like a huge adjustment for me now, change of situation and scenery and anticipatory anxiety even about going to the store October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted December 13, 2017 Author Posted December 13, 2017 I just don’t understand how in high school I did all kinds of stupid stuff, ecstasy, Xanax, vyvanse and Adderall and smoked weed constantly, did some coke and none of it ever effected me like this. I sobered up and was totally fine, never had a problem with drinking caffeine or anything. Drinking some alcohol never did anything bad to me even after all of that. I was always fine after. And now I took ONE ZOLOFT. JUST ONE DAMN PILL. And I can’t eat sugar or have soda without all of this starting all over again. I don’t understand this. Sorry I just don’t have anywhere else to vent about this and I’m wearing my family out with it. I’m sure they’ll be annoyed if I’m starting this stuff all over again after having a perfect week and thinking I was back on track. October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
bheb Posted December 13, 2017 Posted December 13, 2017 I feel that Lindsay. While I personally didn't do drugs recreationally, a lot of my friends did and they never experienced any long term effects. It's wild that meds taken as prescribed (for anything but fun), can do this. I know it's frustrating to feel your life be restricted in any way. Even if it's just a soda you can't have. It makes you feel like you have to walk on eggshells which is not the way anyone wants to live. But it is good that you can identify triggers. Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg May 2016-June 2016 15mg June 2016-August 2016 10mg October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total). early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017 3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018 June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019
Lindsay625 Posted December 13, 2017 Author Posted December 13, 2017 Thank you for replying Bheb!!! But yes it is hard, I think it’s really hard to have such a good window also. To feel your just about 99% or even 100% and then to wake up the next day and be back 50%!!! But better 50% than being back how I was in the beginning. It’s not bad though, I’m working on my thinking process right now, not trying to be so negative. Once I start on that negative thinking pattern and can dig myself down deep and bring on all kinds of dread and fear. So I’m trying to stop myself. I have I say though, this website has been an extreme blessing for me. I felt so alone in the beginning of this and so crazy. I am very grateful to have somewhere to come to when I feel this way. October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted December 14, 2017 Author Posted December 14, 2017 Becoming terrified that this adverse reaction could mean I’m bi polar or something ): i had a great 6 days last week, felt like myself, was calm and happy and then crashed. So scared it’s gonna be the rest of my life. October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted December 15, 2017 Author Posted December 15, 2017 Really needing someone to talk to to ease these fears right now. Every time I’m about to fall asleep I wake up in a panic I’m so terrified I’m just going to lose my mind October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted December 15, 2017 Author Posted December 15, 2017 Is this normal?? I’m terrified that maybe I have an underlying mental illness that was triggered by the Zoloft. I have two beautiful babies and amazing husband and I’m so scared I’m going to go crazy and be put away for the rest of my life ): I’m trying so hard to trust God through all of this but it’s becoming so hard. October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
Lindsay625 Posted December 15, 2017 Author Posted December 15, 2017 Please someone help me figure out what is going on with me. I haven’t had any insomnia throughout this whole thing and now suddenly every time I close my eyes I have a panic attack and my heart is racing and I have tremors and diarrhea?! What is happening to me?! I don’t understand why I’m worse all of the sudden it almost feels like Akathisia all over again. October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
AliG Posted December 15, 2017 Posted December 15, 2017 Hi Lindsay, it sounds like you are in a bit of a wave. This is the normal windows and waves pattern of recovery. You don't have a mental illness ~ this is an adverse reaction which has sensitized your nervous system and may take a few months to recover from. Insomnia is a common withdrawal symptom, as is racing heart and panic. Try and remain calm and not let your thoughts run away with you, but acknowledge them and then let them go, like watching leaves float on by, down the river. Have you read through Claire Weekes? Her techniques are very helpful to those of us with a nervous system which has been sensitized by withdrawal. You may want to try some of the guided meditations here : http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/6122-guided-meditations-calming-video Try one of the guided meditations ~ as it may help you relax and get back to sleep. Deep breathing is also helpful , as is an Epsom salt bath. Perhaps, try the meditation first. Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 .
Waiting12 Posted December 15, 2017 Posted December 15, 2017 Hi again, I’m sorry you’re having a rough night. Hopefully a mod will come by and post. I’m glad you had 6 whole days of feeling better. Above I posted the link to windows and waves to explain the weird ups and downs. In the meantime, you could possibly try relaxing music to fall asleep. Delta waves on YouTube were my go to for a long time. Guided mediation for panic or mindfulness is good too. Even sleep stories to just direct your thoughts elsewhere. There’s a good app called ‘calm’ that has some. 4-7-8 breathing is helpful during the high anxiety/high heart rate moments & progressive muscle relaxation exercises can also help to relax tension. Wishing you the best. 2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.Drug free 12-16-2016Month 1-20: +5% healing every monthMonth 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.
Lindsay625 Posted December 15, 2017 Author Posted December 15, 2017 Thank you both for all of the info!! It just feels so lonely right now. I feel like I am losing my mind. It’s so terrifying. I can’t grasp how this happened to me I just don’t understand ): October 30th, 2017 one dose of 50 mg sertraline at night before bed.
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