Administrator Altostrata Posted May 21, 2018 Administrator Share Posted May 21, 2018 2 minutes ago, Altostrata said: Please consider this: The Internet is a big place. Anxiety drives people to search for answers on the Web. When someone finds they are recovering from PSSD or other withdrawal symptoms, the motivation to post about the recovery anywhere diminishes. They get involved in other activities. It's very possible that any desperate post from some time back is from a person who has recovered. The Internet being what it is, very often you can't reach that person again to find out how they recovered. For example, for several years this person posted profoundly gloomy reports on PaxilProgress, a site that has disappeared. He full recovered from a range of withdrawal symptoms including PSSD. On the other hand, people who are very frustrated by their symptoms are motivated to post more. They may drive themselves to higher and higher levels of despair and anxiety. These posts are vivid and memorable. While we encourage people to come back and report success stories, not many do. However, by following Introductions topics, we see people recovering -- although slowly -- all the time. Therefore, we don't believe "no one ever recovers" is true, and if you keep on repeating it here, you may be asked to stop it. While you're hurting yourself, you're also unnecessarily frightening other people. 1 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
servadei Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 It is true that there aren't many success stories because as soon as you get your life back you don't really think about this site. I've cold turkeyed in 2015 and it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. It was an absolute nightmare, and there aren't really words to describe it. Today I'm in second year of college.. I still have a lot of problems and I don't feel normal, but it is nowhere near that nightmare. I randomly remembered how much it helped me to read success stories, hell, I would spend hours here reading the same ones over and over again. So I'm hoping this will give at least a bit of reassurance for whoever is reading this. You're all in my prayers tonight. And remember: you are way stronger and resilient than you think. 1 CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus Dan998 Posted May 21, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 21, 2018 Yes. It is important to remember that many people don't come back when they have recovered as they just want to put the whole experience behind them and get on with their lives. I myself dissappared 'off the radar' when I finished my taper and started to feel better. It was only because of suffering a particularly bad wave that I came back. Otherwise, I would have disappeared over the horizon, never to be seen again. 2001: 20mg paroxetine2003-2014: Switched between 20mg citalopram and 10mg escitalopram with several failed CT's2015: Jan/ Feb-very fast taper off citalopram; Mar/ Apr-crashed; 23 Apr-reinstated 5mg; 05 May-updosed to 10mg; 15 Jul-started taper; Aug-9.0mg; Sep-8.1mg; Oct-7.6mg; Nov-6.8mg; Dec-6.2mg2016: Jan-5.7mg; Feb-5.2mg; Mar-5.0mg; Apr-4.5mg; May-4.05mg; Jun-3.65mg; Jul-3.3mg; Aug-2.95mg; 04Sep-2.65mg; 25Sep-2.4mg; 23Oct-2.15mg; 13Nov-1.95mg; 04Dec-1.75mg; 25Dec-1.55mg.2017: 08Jan-1.4mg; 22Jan-1.25mg; 12Feb-1.1mg; 26Feb-1.0mg; 05Mar-0.9mg; 15Mar-0.8mg; 22Mar-0.7mg; 02Apr-0.6; 09Apr-0.5mg; 16Apr-0.4mg; 23Apr-0.3; 03May-0.2mg; 10May-0.1mg Finished taper 17 May 2017. Read my success story I am not a medical professional. The information I provide is not medical advice. If in doubt please consult with a qualified healthcare provider. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellbutrin Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 44 minutes ago, Dan998 said: Yes. It is important to remember that many people don't come back when they have recovered as they just want to put the whole experience behind them and get on with their lives. I myself dissappared 'off the radar' when I finished my taper and started to feel better. It was only because of suffering a particularly bad wave that I came back. Otherwise, I would have disappeared over the horizon, never to be seen again. I'm just so scared that things like my memory and general enjoyment of life are going to continue to be dampened. I haven't seen any improvement in my memory at all. So I'm just wondering if this is an area that starts to break up in windows and waves or if it gradually improves. I can't wait until I don't "need" this site anymore. I'm sure I will continue to return after I feel better (I SO HOPE THIS HAPPENS) so that I can provide encouragement and support to those that continue to struggle. The intrusive thoughts, continued inability to feel any positive emotions, and constant feelings of dread are the areas that I can't wait to see go. I know that C/T often take much longer to heal, so I realize that I've pretty much set myself up to struggle for a significant amount of time. But I hope that I can see at least some relief soon. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017. Had severe withdrawals. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July. Started tapering on July 17th, 2017. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal. Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus. Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellbutrin Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 1 hour ago, servadei said: It is true that there aren't many success stories because as soon as you get your life back you don't really think about this site. I've cold turkeyed in 2015 and it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. It was an absolute nightmare, and there aren't really words to describe it. Today I'm in second year of college.. I still have a lot of problems and I don't feel normal, but it is nowhere near that nightmare. I randomly remembered how much it helped me to read success stories, hell, I would spend hours here reading the same ones over and over again. So I'm hoping this will give at least a bit of reassurance for whoever is reading this. You're all in my prayers tonight. And remember: you are way stronger and resilient than you think. Hi Servadei, Thanks so much for the words of encouragement. I do appreciate the reassurance that this does eventually get better. It's so hard to believe that there will be an end to all of this suffering when you go day after day without getting any relief. I don't get any enjoyment out of life, and depression constantly looms over me with a foreboding feeling of dread, and my memory is totally shot. I think that is so hard for me because I'm not familiar with feeling depression like this, I was taking Wellbutrin for anxiety, not for depression. I've had times in my life where I was down or upset, but they were always fleeting and I could always get myself out of whatever funk I was in. This is completely different. I feel terrible %100 of the time. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017. Had severe withdrawals. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July. Started tapering on July 17th, 2017. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal. Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus. Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabe Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 You've come SO far Hellbutrin! I thought what Alto wrote is true...and I believe that you will fully recover with time....you are already so much improved from so many of your earlier posts!!! Take care!! -Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016 -Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. -November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17, -20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day -Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17 -Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg 5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded -4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19 -July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, -7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25 -1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg, 1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit 1/week,Reacted Mag prn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellbutrin Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 3 hours ago, Rabe said: You've come SO far Hellbutrin! I thought what Alto wrote is true...and I believe that you will fully recover with time....you are already so much improved from so many of your earlier posts!!! Take care!! Thanks Rabe, I’m so thankful for your kind words. It’s heartening to hear that I seem better even if I don’t necessarily feel better. Maybe that means that I am undergoing slow and subtle changes and I’m just not noticing them. Thanks again Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017. Had severe withdrawals. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July. Started tapering on July 17th, 2017. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal. Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus. Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabe Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 I truly believe it does mean that!!! -Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016 -Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. -November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17, -20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day -Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17 -Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg 5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded -4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19 -July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, -7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25 -1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg, 1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit 1/week,Reacted Mag prn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liamb123456 Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 I cold turkey off Zoloft 50mg 9 months out and I feel worse now than I did at start it's mostly mentally I feel like my brain is shutting.. is the normal at 9 months out can get worse later your off meds please can any help me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
servadei Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 3 minutes ago, Liamb123456 said: I cold turkey off Zoloft 50mg 9 months out and I feel worse now than I did at start it's mostly mentally I feel like my brain is shutting.. is the normal at 9 months out can get worse later your off meds please can any help me Yes. It is totally normal. I felt really really bad at that time too. CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liamb123456 Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 1 minute ago, servadei said: Yes. It is totally normal. I felt really really bad at that time too. Hey thanks for the reply did you ct meds also it's like my brain has no interest in watching television or it's like wen I'm watch I can't understand what's going on we're you like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liamb123456 Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 On 5/22/2018 at 5:43 AM, Hellbutrin said: Thanks Rabe, I’m so thankful for your kind words. It’s heartening to hear that I seem better even if I don’t necessarily feel better. Maybe that means that I am undergoing slow and subtle changes and I’m just not noticing them. Thanks again Hey what's you still suffering with since your cold turkey.. I cold turkey 9 months ago and feel like I'm getting worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellbutrin Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 2 hours ago, Liamb123456 said: Hey what's you still suffering with since your cold turkey.. I cold turkey 9 months ago and feel like I'm getting worse Yes, I'm at 10.5 months out and I'm still having a really rough time. I haven't seen any improvement in my lack of positive feelings, my depression, or my memory loss. I'm just hoping that the reassurance that it improves over time is true. I guess we don't have any choice but to keep holding on. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017. Had severe withdrawals. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July. Started tapering on July 17th, 2017. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal. Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus. Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Altostrata Posted May 23, 2018 Administrator Share Posted May 23, 2018 Hellbutrin, why do I get the feeling you start topics to talk about yourself? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellbutrin Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 Most of the time I do start topics to ask questions about what I'm experiencing, and to talk to others about how they're coping with similar symptoms. I thought that was the point. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017. Had severe withdrawals. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July. Started tapering on July 17th, 2017. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal. Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus. Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellbutrin Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 3 hours ago, Liamb123456 said: I cold turkey off Zoloft 50mg 9 months out and I feel worse now than I did at start it's mostly mentally I feel like my brain is shutting.. is the normal at 9 months out can get worse later your off meds please can any help me I totally get it Liamb123456, It's hard when you just want to get to the point where you can start feeling better and you get catapulted back into acute this far out. Lets just hang on and hopefully things will get better! Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017. Had severe withdrawals. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July. Started tapering on July 17th, 2017. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal. Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus. Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Altostrata Posted May 23, 2018 Administrator Share Posted May 23, 2018 Sometimes picking at a sore makes it worse. Not brooding over your symptoms is harder, but better for you, than brooding over your symptoms. Yes, we acknowledge you feel terrible. We also want you to know you need to find ways to manage this, not dwell on it. I have a lot of reservations supplying a platform for people to brood. This is such an inherently negative topic, it annoys me every time I see it. You'd be surprised, encouraging and supporting other people can make you feel better. 1 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellbutrin Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 8 minutes ago, Altostrata said: Sometimes picking at a sore makes it worse. Not brooding over your symptoms is harder, but better for you, than brooding over your symptoms. Yes, we acknowledge you feel terrible. We also want you to know you need to find ways to manage this, not dwell on it. I have a lot of reservations supplying a platform for people to brood. This is such an inherently negative topic, it annoys me every time I see it. You'd be surprised, encouraging and supporting other people can make you feel better. If you think that this thread is negatively impacting anyone then please deactivate it or delete it however that works. Sorry if I annoyed you, that definitely wasn't my intention. You've been working with this forum for a long time, so I trust that you know the best approach to take when monitoring the site. I appreciate all of the feedback that I get here. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017. Had severe withdrawals. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July. Started tapering on July 17th, 2017. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal. Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus. Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Altostrata Posted June 8, 2018 Administrator Share Posted June 8, 2018 (edited) I have closed comments on this topic because it was attracting too many posts expressing unfounded attitudes of fatalism and self-sabotage that are discouraging to everyone. Many people seek psychiatric drug treatment in the first place because of these attitudes, and even as they choose to go off them, they bring these habits of thinking to this community. Self-defeating or self-sabotaging thinking heightens whatever awful feelings you get from withdrawal itself and puts additional stress on your nervous system. In order to get past taking psychiatric drugs, you need to change your way of thinking, or recovery is going to be much harder for you. In answer to such questions such as "Does nobody ever heal?" -- first, read every link posted above in this topic. Consider this: I and the moderators work very, very hard to help people get past taking drugs and heal from withdrawal syndrome. Fortunately, every day, we see successes. I say fortunately, because once in a while people show up here who will not be reassured that in general, healing does progress -- although in a very slow and frustrating way. Despite our best efforts, they want to be told over and over that they will be fine. One or two or nine success stories are not enough. They want to see a success story from a person who's exactly like them -- same drugs, same length of time on drugs, same method of going off drugs. In short, they want to see their own success story, and they want it now. No, we cannot tell you exactly when YOU will heal, or how it will go. If I or any member of the staff could foretell any individual's future, we'd put that talent to better use than running a forum site. Use some common sense: We wouldn't put all this time and care into responding to people here if we knew everyone was doomed. That would be a terrible waste of time, wouldn't it? Please show some consideration for the staff. If we tell you once or twice that healing will be slow and frustrating, take it on faith that YOUR healing will be slow and frustrating. Seeing one or two success stories from people who are somewhat, but not exactly, like you is evidence that people do heal. Quite often, that's all that we have to reassure you. You will have to find strength and faith within yourself to go the distance. You will need to learn to cope with the uncertainty of when and how and, as part of your own self-care, do what you can to help your body and nervous system heal. We can't do it for you. Edited June 12, 2018 by Altostrata updated 3 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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