takesforever90: basically didn't taper

[takesforever90]

My first post here, its mostly a vent

I was on 40mg celexa for about 5 years and tapered from the 40 to 20 over about a month(wouldn't do it again) but then did something really dumb and c/t of the 20.(again never again)

its now been 3 1/2 months and it had been an experience to say the least. everyone knows the mental symptoms so ill just sum it up and say utter desperation.

the odd thing is that i haven't had one physical symptom. maybe one brain zap but other than that none.

 

the funny thing is when i jumped off at 20 i was more anxiety free than i think id ever been and almost kind of euphoric, but then after 4 days the deep depression started. ive gone from deep depression

to the point i didnt really get that anxious because i was so sad,(6 times in a day bawling is my record) then depressed with anxiety, now all over the place and im having cortisol rushes but not when i

initially wake up only when i go back to sleep or have a nap or something then my heart feels like its gonna pop when i wake up. everything seems to get better in the evening/night ive noticed but then

when morning comes its all back again.

 

honestly i feel like i dont even know who i am anymore.

every interest, hobby, desire, goal has done a complete 180. (this happened to anyone else?)

now that ive been off i realize how much it made me not happy not sad but satisfied in my couch potato state for the last few years.

 

one of the worst parts are the continuous thoughts.

i dont want to live anymore.

will this ever end?

is this just how i am?

i dont want to live anymore.

what if it gets worse?

should i go on another ssri?

i dont want to live anymore.

etc.

 

my question is its probably way too late at this point to reinstate right? not that i would anyway as im currently so indecisive i cant even decide the simplest of things so...

 

kinda off topic

roughly a year ago i also got off 1mg klonipin that i had been on for 5 years. i was thinking this cant possibly be as bad as that was, well... i was wrong on that one.

funny enough the klonipin withdrawal only lasted a month and i never had a problem after. maybe it was because i was on the celexa during that idk.

 

 

[Gridley]

Hello, takesforever90, and welcome to SA.  I'm sorry you're having these symptoms.

 

To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.

• Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
• Link to Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

At Surviving Antidepressants, it is recommended that a person taper by no more than 10% of their current dose with at least a four week hold in-between decreases.  The 10% taper recommendation is a harm reduction approach to going off psychiatric drugs.  Some people may have to taper at a more conservative rate as they are sensitive to even the smallest drops.

Your 50% drop from 40mg to 20mg and the subsequent cold turkey is the reason you are having these withdrawal symptoms.  Ruminative continuing thoughts are a typical withdrawal symptom, as are apathy and anhedonia (inability to experience pleasure).
  
To get you started, and familiarized with the protocols followed by SA, I am linking a few topics so that you have a better understanding of what is recommended here. 

What is Withdrawal Syndrome?
Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list.

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram)

 

Reinstatement of a very small dose of the original drug is the only known way to help alleviate withdrawal syndrome.  The only other alternative is to try and wait out the symptoms and manage as best you can until your central nervous system returns to homeostasis.  Unfortunately no one can give you an exact timeline as to when you will start feeling better and while some do recover relatively easily, for others it can take many months or longer.  

 

Reinstatement isn't a guarantee of diminished symptoms for everyone but it's the best tactic available.  You're still in the time period where reinstatement predictably works, up to 3 months after last dose.  It is best to reinstate as soon as possible after withdrawal symptoms occur. We usually suggest a much smaller reinstatement dose than your last dose.  Then, once you've stabilized on that dosage, you can begin a 10% per month taper down to zero.   

 

It is suggested that when a person tapered and the last dose was 1-3 months ago, go back to a very low dose, maybe 2mg, to start with, increase after a week if it helped but isn't enough.  You are just outside that time frame so reinstatement could work for you.  If 2mg helps but isn't enough, increase slightly . If it doesn't help or makes symptoms worse, stop immediately.  Ultimately the decision is yours, but thought I should bring this to your attention so that you can make the best decision regarding your health and well-being.  

 

Please read the first few post of this topic on reinstatement.:

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms.

 

We do not recommend you switch to another SSRI.

 

This is your introduction topic -- the place for you to ask questions, record symptoms, share your progress, and connect with other members of the SA community. I hope you'll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation. I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but I am glad that you found us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[takesforever90]

I went off Celexa 40mg down to 20mg over a month and then went off the 20mg cold turkey. it has now been 5 months and the symptoms are not showing signs of improving.(severe symptoms still) I have been so hypersensitive that i can literally eat a taco or burger and i have a very noticeable calming almost euphoric feeling. i assume im getting some tryptophan or some type of vitamin from the meat thats causing this.

 

I gave in last night and took a crumb(cant describe it any other way) of a Zoloft i had. within 15 minutes i felt different and had a kind of enjoyable feeling in my forehead area and today i feel noticeably less depressed although im still pretty bad.

 

Any opinions on if should i reinstate with the Zoloft now that ive taken the crumb and try and level off or should i stop since im so far into this already?

[Altostrata]

Hello, takesforever. Please post questions about your particular situation in your Introductions topic.

 

As Gridley said on Feb. 25:

 

On 2/25/2018 at 11:22 AM, Gridley said:

Reinstatement of a very small dose of the original drug is the only known way to help alleviate withdrawal syndrome.  The only other alternative is to try and wait out the symptoms and manage as best you can until your central nervous system returns to homeostasis.  Unfortunately no one can give you an exact timeline as to when you will start feeling better and while some do recover relatively easily, for others it can take many months or longer.  

 

Reinstatement isn't a guarantee of diminished symptoms for everyone but it's the best tactic available.  You're still in the time period where reinstatement predictably works, up to 3 months after last dose.  It is best to reinstate as soon as possible after withdrawal symptoms occur. We usually suggest a much smaller reinstatement dose than your last dose.  Then, once you've stabilized on that dosage, you can begin a 10% per month taper down to zero.   

 

It is suggested that when a person tapered and the last dose was 1-3 months ago, go back to a very low dose, maybe 2mg, to start with, increase after a week if it helped but isn't enough.  You are just outside that time frame so reinstatement could work for you.  If 2mg helps but isn't enough, increase slightly . If it doesn't help or makes symptoms worse, stop immediately.  Ultimately the decision is yours, but thought I should bring this to your attention so that you can make the best decision regarding your health and well-being.  

 

Please read the first few post of this topic on reinstatement.:

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms.

 

This topic explains how to take a small dose of Celexa Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram)

 

Why did you have Zoloft? To help us out, see these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature

[takesforever90]

there is no way i could come up with even 1/4th of my med history. however ive been on anti-depressants for probably more than 11 years and the celexa for about 6-7 and now off for 5 months

 

i had never taken zoloft before. i remember reading something that it might be better  to reinstate with a different med than the one you got off of i thought, although i cant really remember anything much right now.

 

the crumb of zoloft was fine untill about 18 hours after the dose. i never had ANY physical symptoms before but now i had multiple bad physical symptoms. although its not as bad now about 40 hours after the zoloft. (bad headache, body ache, heart feelings, hands would spaz out)

 

ive been so confused during all of this and cant really put together what to do honestly. im so extremely hypersensitive to basically everything

 

bad thing is i dont really know what normal is to me as ive been on this kind of stuff since i was about 15

[Gridley]

I understand and am sorry about your situation.  

 

Can you just put in your signature how much Celexa you were on, when you stopped, and whether you tapered or did cold-turkey?   

 

Here is the link to write your signature.  It can be very brief and just the recent drug(s).

 

 Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature

[Marmot]

On 2018-04-16 at 8:03 PM, takesforever90 said:

bad thing is i dont really know what normal is to me as ive been on this kind of stuff since i was about 15

 

Sorry this happened to you. Growing up on these drugs can can really mess with how see ourselves. You'll get through it. 

[takesforever90]

I cant figure out what to do. i cant stop crying and having suicidal thoughts

 

i keep pacing, think ive started having some minor akathisia now on top of it all

[Dan998]

Hi, TF90. I have been where you are now. it's a horrible place to be.

 

You only really have 2 choices. You can either wait for things to improve, which they eventually will, but this could take a very long time and things might get worse before they get better, or you can try to reinstate a small amount (1 or 2 mg) celexa and then once things have settled down you can slowly taper off.

 

If you haven't done so already then definitely check out Reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

I had to wrestle with this dilema myself, although I wasn't as long off celexa as you are. It's a tough call, but reinstatement is still an option if withdrawal is becoming unbearable.