Ladybug's Pax-hell Journey

[ladybug]

Gidday baby girl!  How are you going now?  You said you didn't see any pattern or improvement but did a drop anyway.  How long did you last before dropping?

How is your sleep and anxiety levels?  How have these last few drops been for you as I recall those couple just under 5mg were pretty awful.  How's the dating arena going? 

 

Hi Gran! I'm doing alright so far. For the past year or so the only pattern I notice is related to my cycle. Taking your advice and tracking my symptoms has confirmed that day 5- day 16 are the absolute worst for me. It's like a switch goes off and all my symptoms increase, especially depression, stomach problems and  both physical and mental anxiety. There's usually a couple of days of suicidal ideation there too which is awful. But since I know it is hormone related I can see it for what it is and that helps. Once ovulation hits the switch goes off again and everything improves. I still have some symptoms but mood wise I improve significantly and the stomach stuff improves too. So I feel better for about a week and then PMS hits and all of a sudden everything and everyone pisses me off lol. Anxiety and sleep issues also increase significantly. So that is my pattern every month. Although I have noticed lately that my "good time" has gotten shorter. Sometimes rather than a week I only get a few days.

 

I'm still trying to figure out how the drops relate to this pattern. I have noticed some increased symptoms lately but I still follow the same overall pattern. I guess if the drops do anything they just make my bad times worse and my good times not as good if that makes any sense. One new symptom I have is having periods where I feel very uncomfortable in my own skin. Not akathisia, but more like hypersensitivity. Hard to describe. I'm also having a lot of worries that this is the "real me" which seems pretty par for the course when it comes to WD and tapering. This past drop was 2% and I held 6 weeks so I'm definitely still being conservative but that only eases the worrying a bit lol. I'm the QUEEN of What If thinking and that sure hasn't changed.

 

As for dating I'm back to not caring. It was a fun experience while it lasted and maybe I'll care again in the future but for now it's not really important to me.

 

Hope you are having a good day today. Thanks for checking up on me. ((HUGS))

[aberdeen]

Ladybug if you figure out the relationship between tapering, drops, and hormones, let me know. Like you, my symptoms follow a monthly pattern above all else and trying to pick through which is what has been pointless. Lets just hope the rollercoaster settles once our brains do. Im glad you keep dropping, honestly if it doesnt make anything drastically worse, or worse/different at all...keep going, you WILL get there!

[Altostrata]

ladybug, you might look for a gyn who specializes in those hormonal patterns. They also contribute to PMS. (I know one in San Francisco.)

[grandmaD]

Thanks for update, it sure is hard to know what is w/d and what is hormonal and I still don't know if my gut issues are gall related and the ribcage aches and pains are now osteo.  Like Aberdeen has said I guess no use worrying about it, just keep turtling on and down and we will find out at the end of the road!  I have noticed like you those same issues, including the suicide thing keeps coming around every drop also and began to realise it was the w/d and not me.

 

Sorry to hear about the dating thing.  Never mind, you will meet the right guy.  My baby girl was only married 3 years when she was young and he had a one night stand and she was on her own a long, long time and did internet dating but figured out they were all losers and gave it away.  She is now 40 and about a year ago she met the loveliest guy serving coffee at her work and they are going strong!

 

I am VERY PLEASED to say we went to the big smoke today and for the first time in a LONG TIME I coped very well and have not come home like a dead duck.  I've had a nice hot shower and I am tired but able to come on here, which is amazing.  We even had lunch out which I never do because of my guts, but took the risk and had a roast pork lunch!  I do have a bit of indigestion, but coping with it.  I have been on digestive enzymes for the last 5 days and today I felt I was a bit better, so thought I'd take the plunge and it was so nice to do something normal like eat out!

 

I hope you had a good day also!

 

Aberdeen - wow, so amazing how well you have been going!  Congratulations, well done! 

[grandmaD]

hey Ladybug, must be time for another update; miss you x

[nick1990]

Hi Ladybug. Have just read your thread and hope your getting on well

 

Do you find that your symptoms and your WD has a fair bit to do with hormones and your cycle? Im a male - so luckily i don't have to worry about such things, however I'm interested in learning as much about WD as possible. 

 

Anyway, i hope your healing continues.

 

Take care

Nick

[ladybug]

Hi, guys! Sorry for the lack of update. Well, I have been almost 8 weeks on this dose. The first 4 weeks were great! So of course I went back to the question I always ask myself when I am feeling good: Is this just feeling good or hypomania? I still never know lol. On week 5 things began to go downhill, so then I wasn't sure if it was from the drop or just my usual hormonal rollercoaster. Basically I saw an increase in DR (which is always with me), depression and fatigue. I also had some sleep trouble but not too bad.

 

TMI but I've been dealing with a chronic yeast infection for 1.5 years now! I'm going to just come out with it in case anyone has any input but I basically went through a looong dry spell where I didn't have sex for 6 years. Last year my libido suddenly came back which was awesome, but the first time I had sex again I got my first ever yeast infection. Given that I was 34 I'd say that was a pretty good streak. The problem is I haven't been able to get rid of it since!

 

Now I haven't had one the entire time but every month because of my hormone fluctuations it will come back usually once sometimes twice a month! Needless to say it has made me very miserable. I've tried it all: probiotics, garlic, miconazole, the other -zole you use when that doesn't work, yogurt, homeopathic yeast pills, etc. The thing that has worked the best is boric acid suppositories that I make myself. However, it always comes back either when I'm ovulating or before my period or both. My doctors are useless and they just offered me a six month course of Diflucan but the reviews are terrifying! It's also really bad for your liver and so blood tests are needed but my doctor didn't even seem concerned about it which also worries me. So given the fact that it's not guaranteed to work I'm not sure it's worth the risk. So I'm basically on my own. Just add another awful symptom to the long list of WD crap. It definitely raises my anxiety and depression. The only thing I can think happened is that the latex from the condom triggered some sort of auto-immune reaction since they run in my family. My mother also has a latex allergy.

 

Sometimes I even get stabbing pains down there and this throws me into a panic over whether I'm going to get permanent vulvodynia which I read can be caused by chronic yeast infections. So because of that I've been increasing miserable since my symptoms seem to be getting worse and not better.

 

As for WD I held 8 weeks instead of 6 weeks and just decided to go ahead and drop. Sleep has been good and if my sleep is good I figure I'm stable enough. Like I've been saying my symptoms are very much tied to my hormones so I can never say what is what so I figure might as well try to keep moving forward.
 

Hi Ladybug. Have just read your thread and hope your getting on well

 

Do you find that your symptoms and your WD has a fair bit to do with hormones and your cycle? Im a male - so luckily i don't have to worry about such things, however I'm interested in learning as much about WD as possible. 

 

Anyway, i hope your healing continues.

 

Take care

Nick

 

If you didn't read that long ramble above, the short answer to your question is YES!! A thousand times yes lol. I find myself wishing I was a man quite frequently these days.

 

 

ladybug, you might look for a gyn who specializes in those hormonal patterns. They also contribute to PMS. (I know one in San Francisco.)

 

Sorry, Alto, I forgot to reply to you. I don't have insurance so I just get my healthcare through the county. I see whoever they assign me and I'm not working so can't afford to see anyone else and pay out of pocket. I'm pretty much stuck. Don't feel well enough to work a normal job, but can't afford to get good healthcare to maybe get better because I don't work.

[nick1990]

Sorry to hear of your struggles Ladybug :/   All i can say is there is a lot of beauty in life , and its coming to you - Its just taking its darn time... But its coming - you'll look back on this all one day  

Love and hugs

[brassmonkey]

Do you use colored or scented toilet tissue?

[Rachelina]

Hi Ladybug! I have the same problem although it's more recurrent than chronic. Usually it passes after several days of boric acid overnight and garlic during the day. You've probably heard this already, but sugar in the diet definitely exacerbates it, and I have noticed this to be true for me. Last year I was able to give up refined sugar for several months and had no problems during that time. Then I started eating some again and started having occasional infections again. But this summer I have been binging on ice cream and chocolate and have been getting them once a month at least. Sugar for me is a source of emotional comfort and it's really hard to give it up.

 

So glad you had four good weeks, at least! It seems like you're making good progress on your taper. I hate that feeling when a window is closing and you can feel depression and DR creeping back in and you start worrying about just how much of a wave you're in for. That's happening to me right now actually. But at least we know it will pass in its time and the windows will open again.

 

Sending you hugs!

[ladybug]

Sorry to hear of your struggles Ladybug :/   All i can say is there is a lot of beauty in life , and its coming to you - Its just taking its darn time... But its coming - you'll look back on this all one day

Love and hugs

 

Thank you! ((HUGS))

 

 

Do you use colored or scented toilet tissue?

 

Nope. But I have thought of that and am considering changing to all natural unbleached toilet paper. It's just so expensive!

 

Hi Ladybug! I have the same problem although it's more recurrent than chronic. Usually it passes after several days of boric acid overnight and garlic during the day. You've probably heard this already, but sugar in the diet definitely exacerbates it, and I have noticed this to be true for me. Last year I was able to give up refined sugar for several months and had no problems during that time. Then I started eating some again and started having occasional infections again. But this summer I have been binging on ice cream and chocolate and have been getting them once a month at least. Sugar for me is a source of emotional comfort and it's really hard to give it up.

 

So glad you had four good weeks, at least! It seems like you're making good progress on your taper. I hate that feeling when a window is closing and you can feel depression and DR creeping back in and you start worrying about just how much of a wave you're in for. That's happening to me right now actually. But at least we know it will pass in its time and the windows will open again.

 

Sending you hugs!

 

Rach, so good to hear from you! Yes, I think I used the wrong word when I said chronic. It is not one constant infection, but rather it comes and goes very frequently. Used to be once a month and lately it's even more frequent which is worrying. Boric Acid really is a god send. It's quicker, less messy and doesn't burn like the creams. And yes I have noticed that sugar can sometimes make it worse but, like you, it's hard to give up because it's such a comfort. Although, it's not like I eat all that much sugar in the first place but I do love pasta, carbs, etc.  However, I do believe the #1 trigger in my case is the hormonal fluctuations and if I'm already in one of those periods than all sugar does it exacerbate it.

 

As for the 4 week window, I was far from being symptom free but mentally I was very optimistic and I had even had fleeting moments where I felt like my old pre-Paxil self. It was nice. And you are right on the money about how it feels when those windows close. Sorry to hear your window is closing too, I hope this wave is a very short one for you!

 

Again, it was so nice to hear from you. Don't want to pressure you to make an update, but just from looking at your signature it seems like you are making good progress. Sending hugs right back! <3

[grandmaD]

Gidday babygirl, just dropping by to say hi and see you you are doing?  Sounds like you have had some good days, and this taper is going pretty well?

[AmyK]

Just stopping by to say hi.

[ladybug]

Hi guys! Sorry for the delay in responding. I keep meaning to update and then keep pushing it back. Sometimes it's hard to know what to say as it's always more of the same. Well it's been a little over 5 weeks on this dose. The first four weeks sucked. Not sure if it was the drop or my normal hormonal issues or both, but I went into a wave and isolated as usual. There are times when I don't feel well and I am still able to push myself to go out and socialize despite WD and other times when I have zero desire to be around anyone. So this time it was the latter. The fatigue was particularly bad, so bad I was researching Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as I couldn't believe it could all be WD. Simple things like showering or brushing my teeth took immense effort. I started taking my iron supplements again and I think it helped a bit. I was finally able to push myself to socialize for a night and it went well enough so probably not CFS. Of course I do notice that it always takes me a whole day to recuperate after going out. I literally feel like I have a hangover even though I never drink!

This week the cloud lifted and I was close to my WD normal self. Today was a gorgeous day and I enjoyed it by going to an outdoor Greek festival with friends. That was a feat in itself considering I got little to no sleep the night before because I had an interview in the morning. I did have some dizziness and heart palps but I was still able to have a great time. It felt amazing to be out in the sunshine.

The good news is it looks like I might have found another job that I can do from home! I'm not sure there will be many hours to begin with but at this point I will be happy with any money coming in. So today was a very good day and for that I'm incredibly grateful. Hope everyone is having a good or at least better day today too. I think of y'all every day even though I don't post. ((HUGS))

[grandmaD]

It is always good to hear from you, so thanks for keeping in touch!  I know what you mean though, about always posting the same old thing over and over, just that the symptoms may vary, but yes, is usually a drag. It will be helpful for others who get down to this dose to see how others are going, so I think it is important to keep us informed. 

 

I know how 4 weeks can seem like a year when it is bad!  I find it a struggle to relate to others also and to have any sense of hope, but it's those rare days that the sun comes out and you feel almost human that keeps us going, so keep turtling on and keep getting some sunshine because I think it does help.

 

I have experienced many days of lethargy, heaviness, feeling weak and tired so I am pretty sure it is w/d and for you probably hormonal as well.  I haven't had too many days of total fatigue (not being able to get off couch/bed/chair or do anything) until we got back from our trip to Tasmania and I am only just recovering some energy now after 3 weeks, so take your time, rest & relax and hang in there!

[ravijaua]

I read your story and I feel that you made great progress in a long journey. I hope one day you can come of this poison that all are taking.

[ravijaua]

Hi ladybug i saw u had headaches and neck tension a short while ago? Are these better now? Did anything like supplements or otc meds help with those symptoms? I am currently suffering from those symptoms. Thx

[ladybug]

It is always good to hear from you, so thanks for keeping in touch!  I know what you mean though, about always posting the same old thing over and over, just that the symptoms may vary, but yes, is usually a drag. It will be helpful for others who get down to this dose to see how others are going, so I think it is important to keep us informed. 

 

I know how 4 weeks can seem like a year when it is bad!  I find it a struggle to relate to others also and to have any sense of hope, but it's those rare days that the sun comes out and you feel almost human that keeps us going, so keep turtling on and keep getting some sunshine because I think it does help.

 

I have experienced many days of lethargy, heaviness, feeling weak and tired so I am pretty sure it is w/d and for you probably hormonal as well.  I haven't had too many days of total fatigue (not being able to get off couch/bed/chair or do anything) until we got back from our trip to Tasmania and I am only just recovering some energy now after 3 weeks, so take your time, rest & relax and hang in there!

 

That is a good point about keeping a record to inform others. Although I do often worry about newbies being discouraged by the length of my taper when they read my posts/journal. I almost want to put a disclaimer at the end of all my posts: It probably won't take you this long! Everyone is different.

 

The fatigue really is awful. I've also noticed that I feel more fatigue after taking my iron supplements which is very strange as it should be the opposite. My iron pills are chelated and so they are binded with glycine for better absorption and I wonder if it's the glycine that is the issue but the amount of glycine is much less than is in actual glycine supplements so who knows.

 

I'm sorry you are not doing well, but I think it's amazing that you were able to push yourself to travel despite all you were going through. You are one tough lady! Thinking of you and pray you keep improving. ((HUGS))

[ladybug]

I read your story and I feel that you made great progress in a long journey. I hope one day you can come of this poison that all are taking.

 

Thank you, Ravijaua. I hope I can too. <3

 

Hi ladybug i saw u had headaches and neck tension a short while ago? Are these better now? Did anything like supplements or otc meds help with those symptoms? I am currently suffering from those symptoms. Thx

 

Yes, they are basically gone! I'm still not sure what caused them but I think it was probably stress from work, WD, and also working all day on the computer. I usually spend a lot of time on the computer but when working I was having to focus on numbers all day and it might have put too much stress on my eyes. Once I left that job the headaches/neck tension cleared up within a few weeks. I still get them from time to time but it's no longer an all day/every day type thing. I'm so sorry you are currently going through this because I know how awful it is and how it wears you down after awhile. I wish I had more advice but I know how mad it made me when doctors and others told me I just needed to relax and "de-stress". YOU try to relax when you are in constant pain! I hope it passes for you soon. ((HUGS))

[ravijaua]

From what I have read lots of people suffer headaches and they tend to subside on their own. Which I hope!

[grandmaD]

Hi ladybug i saw u had headaches and neck tension a short while ago? Are these better now? Did anything like supplements or otc meds help with those symptoms? I am currently suffering from those symptoms. Thx

Headaches are actually a side effect from paxil and I had regular headaches while on paxil.  They are also a w/d symptom.  I read that Bit. B and a herb called "feverfew" is good for migraines and found good relief from a capsule containing both made by Blackmores, but not sure if that is available in the US.

 

I agree with ladybug that they are also caused by stress, so when you add other stressors to the stress of w/d it can compound.  I have just proven this to myself this week.  I felt the best I have for a long time one day this week so I did 10 mins weeding but had to lie down for an hour afterwards.  Next day I tried again and got the shakes.  We just don't realise how stressed out our body is just from the w/d.  I waited for 3 days until felt good enough and tried another 15mins yesterday and got a headache. 

 

It's trying to figure out what is causing the headache can also give you a headache!  I wish you all the best!

[grandmaD]

The fatigue really is awful. I've also noticed that I feel more fatigue after taking my iron supplements which is very strange as it should be the opposite. My iron pills are chelated and so they are binded with glycine for better absorption and I wonder if it's the glycine that is the issue but the amount of glycine is much less than is in actual glycine supplements so who knows.

 

I'm sorry you are not doing well, but I think it's amazing that you were able to push yourself to travel despite all you were going through. You are one tough lady! Thinking of you and pray you keep improving. ((HUGS))

 

Bless you and thank you for your thoughts and prayers, same here, always wondering how you are going and pray for you.  It is weird about the iron, some things just don't make sense.  I've been having high anxiety and palpitations again so I went back to the lemon balm which I was quite sure helped me before, but this time has not done anything!!  Honestly!

 

Make sure you drink plenty of water.  One day I felt quite weak (which is different to fatigue) and I hadn't drank any water that day.  I am starting to recover now from the trip and gaining some energy and have had 2 half days that were quite good.  The trouble is when you have a better day, you want to do stuff and then it takes me another 2 or 3 days to recover from that!

 

I had days of fatigue all thru w/d but not for weeks on end, so I really hope you will get some energy again soon.

[ladybug]

 

The fatigue really is awful. I've also noticed that I feel more fatigue after taking my iron supplements which is very strange as it should be the opposite. My iron pills are chelated and so they are binded with glycine for better absorption and I wonder if it's the glycine that is the issue but the amount of glycine is much less than is in actual glycine supplements so who knows.

 

I'm sorry you are not doing well, but I think it's amazing that you were able to push yourself to travel despite all you were going through. You are one tough lady! Thinking of you and pray you keep improving. ((HUGS))

 

Bless you and thank you for your thoughts and prayers, same here, always wondering how you are going and pray for you.  It is weird about the iron, some things just don't make sense.  I've been having high anxiety and palpitations again so I went back to the lemon balm which I was quite sure helped me before, but this time has not done anything!!  Honestly!

 

Make sure you drink plenty of water.  One day I felt quite weak (which is different to fatigue) and I hadn't drank any water that day.  I am starting to recover now from the trip and gaining some energy and have had 2 half days that were quite good.  The trouble is when you have a better day, you want to do stuff and then it takes me another 2 or 3 days to recover from that!

 

I had days of fatigue all thru w/d but not for weeks on end, so I really hope you will get some energy again soon.

 

 

Thank you! Fortunately the past couple of days I have had a good spurt of energy. I'm post ovulation which is always my best time hormone-wise, coupled with the fact that I'm far enough away from my period that my iron levels have had a chance to be replenished and I think that's why I'm feeling not as fatigued. I really wish I could figure out this hormone stuff but considering I'm too scared to take any hormone supplementation it probably doesn't matter. My best friend also has hormone issues and is seeing a specialist this month. If she has a good experience then I might make an appt myself, although she has health insurance and I don't. I'm willing to pay the money because it's hard having to live like this for years. Although, I do think WD has a lot to do with it as well. And I'm convinced long term Paxil use is what caused my hormonal issues in the first place.

 

I actually have been making it a point to drink more water! I bought a big jug that I fill with at least 32oz of lemon water every day. I definitely notice I feel better when I am well hydrated.

 

Thank you for the prayers, Gran! Thinking of you always. ((HUGS))

[bubble]

I've wanted to say hi for a long time I've been reading through your thread and found a lot in common: long and slow taper, life on hold when one should be most productive, comparing with friends, working, possibility of missing an opportunity to have a family (child)... I'm 39 (and a half).

 

At the moment I also identify with what you describe as hormonal storm because that's what it is. Mine has a slightly different pattern in the sense that days before the period (up to a week) get unbearable: massive anxiety, irritability, inner restlessness, constant pain in the lower abdomen... It's so brutal that it makes my daily struggle to function almost impossible. I also don't feel like having my hormones tested is an option. They most likely are out of whack but I have no intention of taking anything to 'fix' them and not really sure if there are any other options except the usual: healthy eating, physical activity, resting, avoiding stress... Like I really can do much above surviving...

 

I'm sorry that you also got caught up with this but I'm happy that we can here meet people who make this dreadful journey less lonely. I hope the good period continues and becomes more frequent. I will keep an eye on your progress.

 

Best,

 

Bubble

[ladybug]

Thank you for stopping by! Yes, it certainly seems we have a lot in common. I definitely recognize you but am not sure if I'm totally familiar with your story so I look forward to reading more about it. It really does help to know we are not alone in this. When I hang around my friends and have to explain my struggles with people that don't get it I really start to feel like it's "all in my mind" or I'm somehow creating or exaggerating it. Then I come here and I'm like NOPE! This is absolutely real and I'm not the only one. So very grateful for this place and for all of you. <3

[ladybug]

Wow, it's been a long time since I've done update! Ok, well I've been on this dose for 6 weeks now. Usually I'll drop again at this time but I haven't been feeling so great so decided to just hold a bit. I always dread this time of year as it usually means a big wave for me and I guess this year is no different. Was feeling more anxious in general but able to push through and socialize, etc. Unfortunately, a couple of weeks ago my sleep began to deteriorate. Not sure what triggered it but I had been trying to do 30 minutes of Pilates a day right before. That could've been it or maybe I just didn't feel the drop until 4 weeks. Either way it's been going downhill. Went from 8-9 to 6-7, then to 5 and now it's even less than that. My sleep is always up and down, some days I would get like 3 hours and then 11. So the worrying thing now is how consistently crappy it is which of course has set off the "what ifs." 

 

I've also been having a ton of depression/self loathing about my work situation. Sending out dozens of resumes and getting nowhere. I'm in this weird limbo of desperately needing a job to support myself and for my self esteem, but at the same time being terrified to work because of how unpredictable my WD is, my crazy hormone rollercoaster, etc. But I finally got a call and have an interview tomorrow for a FULL TIME job. Of course I'm freaking out. My last position I worked mostly from home which was great because any time I did have to go into the office my anticipatory insomnia kicked in and I got ZERO sleep. Then about 4 months into the job I started getting these terrible all day headaches that didn't respond to aspirin or anything. That horrible period lasted for two months until I stopped working and they "miraculously" went away a couple of weeks after. I still don't know if it was an issue with staring at the computer all day or stress. So you can see what I question my ability to do this job. It's not a remote position and I will still be working on a computer all day. I'm just scared of all the ways it can go terribly wrong. I'm scared of getting a job at this crucial dose range where a lot of people seem to crash or have problems. I'm scared I'm heading for a crash. I'm just SCARED.

 

So not a positive update, but just wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening.

[AmyK]

Ladybug, you can always quit, you know. I feel for you, I absolutely know how hard it feels with the unpredictability during wd. But if you dont give it a try you might regret it. Go to the interview, and then reconsider. You dont have to decide now.

 

Hugs!

Amy

 

*** And nice to see you again. Long time ago! ***

[Junglechicken]

Hi Ladybug,

 

I'm also with you on the hormonal roller coaster.......this is all new territory for me (peri meno) and very disconcerting. Like you, I'm struggling with the dreaded yeast infection (candida), and each month something different shows up (near my period), this month it's IBS. My new MD suggested Diflucan aswell, but fortunately I never took it as it reacts with Lexapro.

 

Anyway, this year is the first time I have ever had a full blown yeast infection. Like others, it's a struggle to stay away from sugar.

 

Also, not sure how effective hormone testing would be for women in their early forties? My previous MD wouldn't do it.

 

Hugs,

JC

[ladybug]

Ladybug, you can always quit, you know. I feel for you, I absolutely know how hard it feels with the unpredictability during wd. But if you dont give it a try you might regret it. Go to the interview, and then reconsider. You dont have to decide now.

 

Hugs!

Amy

 

*** And nice to see you again. Long time ago! ***

 

Thank you, Amy! I'm definitely going to push myself to go. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out but I know I have to at least try. ((HUGS))

[ladybug]

Hi Ladybug,

 

I'm also with you on the hormonal roller coaster.......this is all new territory for me (peri meno) and very disconcerting. Like you, I'm struggling with the dreaded yeast infection (candida), and each month something different shows up (near my period), this month it's IBS. My new MD suggested Diflucan aswell, but fortunately I never took it as it reacts with Lexapro.

 

Anyway, this year is the first time I have ever had a full blown yeast infection. Like others, it's a struggle to stay away from sugar.

 

Also, not sure how effective hormone testing would be for women in their early forties? My previous MD wouldn't do it.

 

Hugs,

JC

 

It's so crazy how our hormones can affect us not only physically but mentally. I'm in awe of it every time it happens. I can have the exact same situation happen to me in one time of the month and it's fine, but if it happens during the bad time suddenly I'm a sobbing mess and life no longer feels worth living. Keeping a daily symptom tracker has really helped me to see how it's not me, it's my hormones.

 

I also get stomach issues after my period along with everything else. My appetite becomes non-existent and my stomach becomes way more sensitive. I forgot to mention in my post that this happened again recently and I lost 5 pounds in a week. Thankfully, it has come back but now I'm due for my period in a week so better enjoy it while it lasts. Sigh.

 

I was also scared to take Diflucan after reading the reviews. I will say the #1 treatment that has saved me when it comes to yeast infections is boric acid suppositories. I bought a pack of 250 empty gelatin capsules size 00 for like 12 bucks and then pharmaceutical grade boric acid for 3 bucks and using my scale I make out 600mg suppositories. For 15 bucks you can get enough treatment to last a whole year or more depending on how frequent you get them. It's not as messy and doesn't burn like the creams and I've had no side effects other than watery discharge the next day but that is very normal. It knocks it out within a few days, it's amazing.

 

I actually convinced my GP to test my hormones and of course everything came out normal. But that was just 1 blood test at a random time in the month. From what I have read it's better to test your hormones throughout the month to see what your pattern is. Given the time of month I usually feel my best (right after ovulation until a few days before my period) I'm thinking my issues have to do with not enough progesterone. Of course I've also read that sometimes it's not even about having a hormonal imbalance but rather you are just more sensitive to your natural hormonal fluctuations in general. Again, I find it deplorable that most doctor's don't take women issues seriously. I've done so much reading online after I started having issues and there are a TON of women out there suffering, some for decades, and their doctors have nothing to offer them other than ADs of course. It's infuriating.

[Junglechicken]

Thanks for the tip off re: the gelatin capsules and boric acid Ladybug.......the Canestan products here for yeast infections are soooo expensive. By the way, did you also get an applicator(s)?

 

One of the Canestan pessaries (powder as opposed to gel) gave me this bright white discharge, as I had to use them for 3 consecutive nights. About 5 days later there was a flood of this discharge - that freaked me out!

 

I'm with ya sister!

 

Hugs,

JC

[ladybug]

Thanks for the tip off re: the gelatin capsules and boric acid Ladybug.......the Canestan products here for yeast infections are soooo expensive. By the way, did you also get an applicator(s)?

 

One of the Canestan pessaries (powder as opposed to gel) gave me this bright white discharge, as I had to use them for 3 consecutive nights. About 5 days later there was a flood of this discharge - that freaked me out!

 

I'm with ya sister!

 

Hugs,

JC

 

PM'ed you.

[ladybug]

Well I got the job! I've been there for a week now and so far I love it. The atmosphere is relaxed and my coworkers are very friendly and welcoming. I must admit it's scary considering I haven't worked full time in 8 years. Of course, I was worried about my anticipatory insomnia ruining things but I'm happy to say I have not had one sleepless night since I started, not even the first night! However, I am sleeping very little (averaging about 4-5 hours per night.) I've always been a night owl and it's near impossible for me to fall asleep before midnight. So even on a good night I fall asleep around 12am and then my brain wakes up at 5am and I sleep off and on until 6am or so. It's hard but it's way better than no sleep. I've also begun dating someone and it's going well.

 

Things are definitely looking up (so my catastrophizing brain is waiting for it all to come crashing down) and if it wasn't for this awful issue "down there" I'd say I was pretty happy. But this issue is making me miserable and I'm counting down the days (or months) until my appt. with a specialist. As for tapering I've been on this dose for 8 weeks now because I decided to hold a bit longer because of the job and holidays. Tapering while working is always a stressful situation chock full of "what ifs" but I'll take it one day at a time. So that's it for now. Hope everyone is doing well or at least having a better day today. <3

[AmyK]

Wow, congratulations! Inspirational!

Hugs!

[Rachelina]

This is so wonderful to hear, Ladybug! Congratulations and happy holidays to you!

[nz11]

Welldone on getting the job Ladybug.

I can sure relate to that scary feeling of starting work for the first time in a long time.

Im sure you will do well

All the best