unclesteve85 Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 (edited) Hey guys my name is Steve and I grew up with terrible anxiety. I found out around age 12 when i was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and started therapy. Nothing worked and eventually I was prescribed to paxil. I was on roughly 40 mg for at least ten years. At some point i switched it to 20 mg and had no issue doing so. I remained at that 20mg dose for the remainder of my time on paxil. There was a few times i tried to quit unsuccessfully and reinstated. I would have the hardest time breathing, that seems to be my biggest symptom(which was never part of my original anxiety). Now I am 33 and have successfully weaned down from the 20 mg to 0 over the period of a few months. The process was terrible but i managed it knowing that I did not want this stuff to be inside my body any longer. My last dose was exactly 76 days ago. As of lately I have had a lot of shortness of breath and intense anxiety. I still am getting brain zaps and vertigo so I am hoping what i feel is still indeed withdrawal/discontinuation as apposed to a emergence of new anxiety symptoms. Once I fall asleep I seem to have no issues. It seems when I can distract myself I can forget how I am feeling. I was not expecting to get hit with a wave like this at nearly 3 months off. I was hoping someone who has been through this before could shed some light on my issues. thanks Edited August 4, 2018 by ChessieCat spacing paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted August 4, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 4, 2018 Hello Steve and welcome to SA. 20 mg to 0 mg over a few months is very fast (even though that is unfortunately what most doctors recommend), so it is no wonder. you are having withdrawal symptoms. Please help us out by creating a signature with your dosages and approximate dates here: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/12364-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/ 15 hours ago, unclesteve85 said: I was not expecting to get hit with a wave like this at nearly 3 months off. It is very common for withdrawal to take a while to show up. We do see this a lot. How intense is your anxiety? Depending on how intense/bearable your symptoms are, you are still in the potential window for reinstatement. People who do this go back on a very, very small dose, allow their systems to stabilize, then taper off very slowly. It's not a guarantee, and everyone is different. This thread, esp the first page, has information on this. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/ 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted August 6, 2018 Author Share Posted August 6, 2018 I made a mistake. A few years back I cut down to 10mg from 20mg. I was having anxiety attacks while on it so thought it was time to get rid of it. My ween was from 10 to 0 mg over at least 3 months. I am going to stick it out. I am not in terrible shape, just not where I expected to be by now. paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted August 10, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 10, 2018 On 8/6/2018 at 12:47 PM, unclesteve85 said: I made a mistake. A few years back I cut down to 10mg from 20mg. I was having anxiety attacks while on it so thought it was time to get rid of it. My ween was from 10 to 0 mg over at least 3 months. I am going to stick it out. I am not in terrible shape, just not where I expected to be by now. Hi UncleSteve, Wow! That’s way too fast to taper. I’m glad you’re doing okay for now but just be aware you can still get delayed withdrawals. I can only taper by teeny tiny amounts and then have long holds. Wishing you all all the best 💚 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg. 2020➡️5.60 to 4.80. 2021➡️4.60 to 4.0. 2022➡️3.95 to 3.55. 2023➡️ From 3.50 to 3.25. 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️May1=3.0✔️ June7=3mg✔️ July 15= 2.95✔️ This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted August 10, 2018 Author Share Posted August 10, 2018 Today is day 83 since my last dose. I am finally starting too see light at the end of the tunnel. My sleep schedule is super messed up. I find myself sleeping all day and wide awake like a drank a pot of coffee all night. The feelings I am experiencing are clearly discontinuation/withdrawal. I really have not been getting disassociated at all this week. The brain zaps are finally letting up. Now it is just more of a general loss of balance. But I do still have the heaviness of the chest. It is accompanied by a sense of panic which is new to my post paxil cells. The trouble breathing also is pretty much only when I am trying to lay down or fall asleep. I find my emotions are a lot stronger as well. Movies that I would shrug off are hitting me in the feels lol. I feel like the fog in my brain is clearing. I also ran some errands this week to see how I was in social settings and had no issues. I am going to start focusing on trying to eat a lot cleaner and get myself back into shape. I have pretty much been hiding in bed for most the year. I have been self medicating with THC and CBD and that is definitely taking the edge off.(medical and recreational state) I feel like the biggest shock to myself- is myself. I have been on these pills for so long I forget who I really am and what makes me happy. I am finding a lot more positive thoughts are entering my mind and I find myself planning more then complaining. paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
Kostas Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 Hi, Try to keep this positive attitude, but do not forget the windows and waves patterns of withdrawal, and do not be discouraged if occure. Waves can reappear far off, and you should not be overwhelmed by that. Withdrawal symptoms hit me 4 years been off citalopram 20 mg, having virtually no symptoms till then! Knowing what was happening, and having found this site, I toughed it out for 1 year, and now seems to function beautifully again. Take care. Citalopram 20 mg Mid June 1994- end March 1995 Then tapering 3 months Mid August 1995-end August 1996 Tapering 6 months Mid January 2000-end September 2001 Tapering 6 months Mid October 2003-end October 2005 Tapering 7 years. More detailed drug history is here - ☼-kostas Off any drug from October 2012 Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted September 17, 2018 Author Share Posted September 17, 2018 Today marks day 121 with no paxil in my system. As of lately I seem to feel uneasy. It is like the feeling you get right before you are going to be sick. I am trying to stay positive, and know this isn't going to change overnight. Falling asleep is a when I find myself fighting off anxiety. I assume that my stomach is feeling uneasy as it is finally getting used to making some serotonin for me. None of the symptoms I am experiencing where part of my anxiety symptom pre paxil. I can't quite put my finger on the sensation in my gut. It is kind of like anxiety but at the same time just uncomfortable. I have been trying to drink more water and get rest. At times i feel i should reinstate- but I have come rather far and I am most certainly feeling better then I did months ago. I was self medicating with cannabis but ran out, it is possible I was counteracting the upset stomach with that all along and didn't realize it until it was not being used. Thanks for listening whomever -Steve paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted September 17, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 17, 2018 As previously requested by SkyBlue please create your drug signature. This allows other members to see your drug background at a glance whenever you post. For the last 2 years we need details - dates, ALL drugs, doses. For older than 2 years a summary - years and drugs. Please keep it simple so we can see your history at a glance. That is, no symptoms or diagnoses. And please remember to update it whenever you make a change so it remains current. Thank you. Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted September 17, 2018 Author Share Posted September 17, 2018 where do i go to do that? paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted October 28, 2018 Author Share Posted October 28, 2018 Day 161 since last dose. Got hit with a really bad wave. Having a lot of anxiety along with trouble breathing. It almost feels like I have to control the breathing actively. I never had these feelings from my anxiety before pills. This symptom only showed it ugly face the last time i came off the paxil. I am hoping it goes away or lessens soon. Seems to be really an issue when I try to be active or trying to fall asleep. It almost feels like a weight is on my chest. I thought i was out of the woods, I guess I was incorrect. I have made a lot of progress so far. The brain zaps have come back a little bit as well, with some vertigo. But i assume it is my brain shutting stuff down to fix it lol. Hopefully someone else who has been here can give me some info about it. paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted October 28, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 28, 2018 This topic might be helpful: are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take And: Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are trying to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work. It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were trying to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and trying to work in the building! You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while life is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves. The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made. And this is also very good. I think the Rubik's cube analogy is excellent: Video: Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted October 29, 2018 Author Share Posted October 29, 2018 thanks for that chessiecat- it was helpful feeling a little better today. I think the fact that I am still missing my ex gf and we are slowly drifting apart is making my anxiety a lot worse. paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted October 29, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 29, 2018 Yes any stress can cause an increase in symptoms. Even good stress does too, which I experienced when I went for a helicopter flying lesson for my 60th birthday last year. I did notice my anxiety increased for a while afterwards, but at least I knew what caused it and why. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted October 30, 2018 Author Share Posted October 30, 2018 164 days out from last dose. This wave is kicking my ass right now. I am even contemplating reinstatement if I keep having nights like this. I almost feel im progressively getting worse. Super anxious and trouble breathing as well as crying spells. I am really having a bad week. Sleep has been disrupted as well. I seem to wake up completely every few hours to change positions sleeping. I am super overwhelmed right now. I also finally realized now that being in a relationship for years has left me with no more friends. I had a best friend but he died unexpectedly a few years ago, around the same time I met my ex. paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted October 30, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 30, 2018 Have you tried taking magnesium throughout the day? I take it and have stopped a few times and then restarted. Each time I noticed a difference. It takes the edge off my anxiety. Magnesium Only make 1 change at a time: Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable This topic has some helpful tips: Sleep problems - that awful withdrawal insomnia As does this one: Non-drug techniques to cope If you do decide to reinstate, only take a very tiny dose to see how you react to it. These drugs are strong and your brain will have adapted during the time you have been off. Maybe 0.25mg. This is a tester dose, however you might find that it is enough. If you find after 1 week that things are okay but haven't improved then you could increase by another 0.25mg. It is better to start with a small dose and gradually increase if needed than to take too much and risk destabilising your nervous system. The idea of reinstating isn't to get rid of withdrawal symptoms completely but to bring them to a bearable level. Please ready Post #1 of this topic: About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms It takes about 4 days for a dose change to get to full level in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain. You will need to be patient and try and stay calm so that you don't panic and end up increasing too soon or by too much. Please keep daily notes on paper of your symptoms which will help you to see if reinstatement is helping. Tips for tapering off Paxil (paroxetine) * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 i need to get a new primary care as my insurance has changed. It has been over 5 months, seems odd that the most difficult time or me would be now as opposed to the first 5 months no? paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 feel like this wave is finally starting to break! I hope this is the end of this- clearly the worst so far. Id trade brain zaps for breathing trouble anyday!! paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 2, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 2, 2018 You might find this topic helpful are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 40 minutes ago, ChessieCat said: You might find this topic helpful are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take yeah i checked it out- I did go from 10-0 in a few months, i guess i was in a honeymoon window- i am making some progress now. The anxiety is lessening finally. Some windows are starting to open up and my emotions seem to be under control again. Very short windows, but the waves are shorter now, I know the pattern One day at a time, Thanks for the support! paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 2, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 2, 2018 On 10/30/2018 at 5:58 PM, ChessieCat said: Have you tried taking magnesium throughout the day? I take it and have stopped a few times and then restarted. Each time I noticed a difference. It takes the edge off my anxiety. Magnesium This might help. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 2 minutes ago, ChessieCat said: This might help. i might have to give it a go. i feel like i can really see the light at the end of the tunnel. My emotions were crippling my thought the last few days. I feel much more confident again. I was just worried this was the new me. I know now that it is not paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 how are you doing chessie? paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 2, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 2, 2018 I'm going through a tough time myself at the moment but I'm coping okay. Thank you for asking. I've written about it on my Intro. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Seamus Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Unclesteve have you ever heard of square breathing? It stimulates the vagus nerve (parasympathetic nervous system) which slows down the heart and and helps bring some relief for a lot of people. current medications Abilify 2 mg Lamictal 75 mg bid Seroquel 187.5 as of 01/11/18 (currently tapering from 400 mgs. Started on 400 in 2008. 4th Taper attempt, first 5% drop done Oct 20. 10% was not tolerated. Clonazepam 2 mg taper done Aug 2018 (took 18 months to taper) Med history (youth to early adulthood) Paxil, effexor, cipralex, epival, prozac, zoloft, ritalin, xanax, welbuterin, ativan, clomipramine, risperdal, elavil (not in order, polydrugged always) Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 for some reason all breathing exercises make it even harder for me to breath. have always been this way. Slept for ten hours last night- woke up and im already tired enough to go back to sleep. paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
unclesteve85 Posted November 6, 2018 Author Share Posted November 6, 2018 day 171 since last pill----- The last ten days have been pretty rough for me. Pretty much constant anxiety and shortness of breath/ chest pressure. Lots of things are setting off emotional triggers. I have an ex gf who I love more then anything who wants nothing more then to be my friend. We were together over 2 years and talked about getting married and having kids. Granted I messed the situation up, but its like it is all hitting me right now. I ask her simple things like to let me know she gets home safe after she visits on a rainy day and she can't even be counted to respond every time. I feel like she is doing much more harm than good for my mental state right now. But she is literally the only person in my life who consistent shows up. I feel like I have zero control over anything. I keep telling myself that if she was my gf I would get through this so much easier. But the reality is she isn't and doesn't want to be. She tells me she loves me but doesnt want a relationship with me or see a future with me right now. I have this feeling in my gut she has a new man. But she won't even tell me about her personal life beyond work. I feel like if i knew i would have some closure and be able to move on. But she is like stuck in my head and causing me so much added stress i dont know what to do. I feel like not speaking to her would even hurt worse. Sorry to ramble on. Just having a really bad week or two and needed to vent. I am not a bad guy. I just didn't treat her how she needed to be, or pay attention when she told me how to fix my mistakes. I just shrugged it off. paxil 20 mg for over 20 years, dropped to 10 mg years back, 2018 April Dropped to 5mg, May 16 cut dosage down to 2.5 mg, 0 mg may 2018... 11/10 2018 reinstated 10mg. Link to comment
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