intothewoods: help converting Provigil / modafinil to liquid for slow taper

[puthappinessfirst]

4 minutes ago, India said:

I meant that WD is shorter with opiates and time ended. PAWS is rarer. 

 

 

Oh, I know what you meant!  

 

As sick as it sounds, I used to be obsessed with stories about heroin addiction. Read books like Smack, Junkie, Candy, etc. 

I honestly don't know why. Actually, I take that back. I was in the punk scene and its use was high in that scene. I saw people shooting up and snorting multiple times. 

 

I was inches from trying it, although never did. I gave my friend money to get me some and her hook never delivered. 

That was my "Maybe there is a God watching over us..." moment. 

And now I am actually terrified of drugs. Full circle. 

[intothewoods]

Just now, India said:

I meant that WD is shorter with opiates and time ended. PAWS is rarer. 

 

I can vouch for this.

 

I CT Vicodin in 2013 with little incident after being prescribed "scheduled daily dosing for CFS" by a prestigious Florida doctor.

 

Two years later, I did a super fast taper off of it after major cancer surgery. I remember living in the bathtub drinking green smoothies. Lasted two horrible weeks then life went back to normal. 

 

Who'd have thunk I'd look back on those as "the good old days?" 😅

[India]

4 minutes ago, intothewoods said:

 

I can vouch for this.

 

I CT Vicodin in 2013 with little incident after being prescribed "scheduled daily dosing for CFS" by a prestigious Florida doctor.

 

Two years later, I did a super fast taper off of it after major cancer surgery. I remember living in the bathtub drinking green smoothies. Lasted two horrible weeks then life went back to normal. 

 

Who'd have thunk I'd look back on those as "the good old days?" 😅

Oh, Catherine. You have been through so much! The cancer surgery too! Such a survivor ..

[intothewoods]

6 minutes ago, India said:

You have been through so much! The cancer surgery too! Such a survivor ..

 

Aww, thanks a billion India. Maybe a survivor but I more suspect a trusting goof hurtling through life. Never a dull moment! 😁

[Carmie]

Hi Catherine, 

 

How are you doing? Are you still bunkering down?

 

Sending hugs🤗

[intothewoods]

A Doctor Check-in on this last day of April. 

 

Saw my doctor of 18 years today and am fairly sure I drive her nuts 😅.  We've been though so much together. She's about my age, has always been devoted to her patients and not into the money or status, takes care of extended family in amazing ways, has a teenage daughter, and then ....there is my zany trajectory. I began to see her in 2001 when I was two years on Prozac and my health was failing at age 41. She sent me to Mayo Clinic, five weeks, in Minnesota, then two years later to Johns Hopkins. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and more meds. But she was very conservative with them. I asked several times about Klonopin, which is the med of choice for CFS. Or was. I asked at some point about Lamictal, Gabapentin,  Seroquel, and who knows what else as my writer/artist friends cycled through them. She always said: "You don't really want to go that route do you?"

 

So I care deeply for her and owe her my life in many ways. She's under massive stress and is taking a sabbatical this summer and fall. I worry about her and hope some day I can help her in a real way. The way I help now, the thing that brought light to her eyes today,  was when I told her about finding SA and how transforming it's been, the incredible understanding, the learning curve so sharp for months that now as I see new ones come on each day, my brain goes: "Ok,  they just need to hold on this, get back on that generic, do a crosstaper, not be terrified of the terrifying akathisia, it will pass. This, that, this and that." Like a blurry picture of many years coming into pure focus, I feel every person's pain and situation and see what it will take.  I told her, it's a repeat story even with all the many types of meds, that no matter how old or young, what their profession, what country they call home, whether they have family or not, live under a roof or on the streets -- they are felled by meds and only SA can help them get up in the best, right and fastest way. She is amazed and grateful. That is my joy, and hers.  

~~~~~~

I've been in a fierce wave for three weeks. Last night at 8:30, a window opened. It was so unexpected, I had to just process the elation that it was happening. Then decide how to spend it. It's still open, the window, but I've learned that a wave is not far. I"m in crisis mode still. Living close to the vest is the best thing we can do for our bodies and brains.

 

For now, all the best to everyone on this shared journey. 

 

intothewoods

 

 

[Carmie]

Hi Catherine, 

 

I’m sooo sorry you fight with akathisia each and every day. My heart goes out to you💚💚

[intothewoods]

On 5/25/2019 at 6:31 AM, Carmie said:

I’m sooo sorry you fight with akathisia each and every day. My heart goes out to you

 

I know it does, @Carmie. You have such a big heart as we all know and appreciate so much. 💝

 

Thank you for stopping by my thread. I need to pop in here more. I'm in a phase of learning from others and then needing to process the knowledge, convert it to insight and understanding so that I can act. I haven't made any changes in four months but I made a billion the prior four years. I have a big house move coming August 1 so I'm reluctant to change anything until after I'm settled in. The environment will be soooo much better. But as you know, with our CFS paired with WD, we crash for a while. I'm currently only able to be up from bed about five hours every 4-5 days but I feel more calm. 

 

So happy you got to go to the bird park and up the coast for dinner! I travel vicariously with you, with great joy. 😊

 

[Sassenach]

Hi ITW

 

Don't they they allow you to sell bottled BS on ebay.

If you can come up with a better description will share the royalties🤣

Hope you are feeling well.

 

Sassenach

 

[intothewoods]

12 hours ago, Sassenach said:

If you can come up with a better description will share the royalties🤣

Hope you are feeling well.

 

 

Hi @Sassenach! 

 

Such a delight to have you visit my thread. You have a genuine, thoughtful way of guiding others through the perilous waters of ADWD. I've learned much from you.

 

As regards your sage advice on how to handle the agoraphobia and innate terror many of us feel speaking to a person we don't feel safe around: "The easiest way is to not care what people think" -- it should be bottled and and sold on its own website (how about "Sassenach's Serum"?). You deserve all the royalties but I'm happy to be your marketing director. 😎

 

True, at first people may be skeptical but over time, they'll see it's power. Plus, we don't care what they think. 😊 

 

Hope you are having a good day. 

 

Catherine

[intothewoods]

Just making a note that after five months of target-shooting my Provigil, I stabilized on 31 mg in May. On June 15, I dropped three percent to 30 mg with little incident. In a few days, I'll drop another 3 percent and see what happens. Until I move August 1, a big house move, I'm playing it safe. A version of the Brassmonkey Slide, slightly souped up. May kick up to 4 percent at some point.

 

 

[puthappinessfirst]

🎉🎉🎉

[intothewoods]

2 hours ago, puthappinessfirst said:

🎉🎉🎉

 

@puthappinessfirst

 

Thanks, Cali pal 💜. 

Edited June 26, 2019 by intothewoods
Added blue username bubble

[Carmie]

On 6/26/2019 at 11:26 PM, intothewoods said:

Just making a note that after five months of target-shooting my Provigil, I stabilized on 31 mg in May. On June 15, I dropped three percent to 30 mg with little incident. In a few days, I'll drop another 3 percent and see what happens. Until I move August 1, a big house move, I'm playing it safe. A version of the Brassmonkey Slide, slightly souped up. May kick up to 4 percent at some point.

 

 

 

Hi Catherine, 

 

Glad to hear your latest drop went well, and as Puthappinessfirst says 🎉🎉🎉😁

 

Sending hugs🤗

[intothewoods]

11 hours ago, Carmie said:

Glad to hear your latest drop went well, and as Puthappinessfirst says 🎉🎉🎉😁

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

Thank you, @Carmie. This was actually my first official drop on a non-traditional-medicine, non-atomic-bomb level. Couldn't have done it with SA and you and @puthappinessfirst, @India, @powerback, @Kristine  and @Stacy . Going forward, even in moving mode. Yes! 🤸‍♀️

 

Happy Weekend to All. 💜

 

 

[intothewoods]

4 hours ago, intothewoods said:

Couldn't have done it with SA and you

 

"Couldn't have done it without SA and you guys..." 

[Altostrata]

Good to hear!!!!

[intothewoods]

Thanks, Alto .

[India]

On 6/28/2019 at 7:57 AM, Carmie said:

 

Hi Catherine, 

 

Glad to hear your latest drop went well, and as Puthappinessfirst says 🎉🎉🎉😁

 

Sending hugs🤗

Wonderful news @intothewoods

[intothewoods]

9 hours ago, India said:

Wonderful news @intothewoods

Thanks, @India. Thinking of you, too, after reading something you wrote in April:

 

What a dreadful thing this is- it shuts us off from life itself. I see our connections here and on SA as heroic acts against the odds.

 

Couldn't agree more. Stay strong, warrioring hero 💪. 

[India]

2 hours ago, intothewoods said:

Thanks, @India. Thinking of you, too, after reading something you wrote in April:

 

What a dreadful thing this is- it shuts us off from life itself. I see our connections here and on SA as heroic acts against the odds.

 

Couldn't agree more. Stay strong, warrioring hero 💪. 

I’d forgotten I wrote that. Thank you for finding it.,Sorry I’ve not found the will or cognitive power to write. Also, my laptop died. Willing you on so much. Until I can write extendly again. Much warrioring 

x

[intothewoods]

2 hours ago, India said:

I’d forgotten I wrote that. Thank you for finding it.,Sorry I’ve not found the will or cognitive power to write. Also, my laptop died. Willing you on so much. Until I can write extendly again. Much warrioring 

 

I keep safe all your incredible reflections during this journey. They will me, and the story, forward. 

 

Understand the empty well of cognition more than ever. But as my ex-husband used to say: "Artists need deep down periods where new work is free to grow."  

 

We are growing everything new now, brain included. 

 

Until next time @India. 

 

Catherine 💖 

 

 

[Carmie]

Hi Catherine, 

 

I know how much you’re struggling with such severe akathisia. I have been there myself so my heart really goes out to you. You’ll be moving house soon too, that is such a major accomplishment when you are this sick. 

 

If anyone is reading this could you please give Catherine some encouragement, I’m sure she could really do with it right now. I haven’t been on this site much myself because I’m going through lots of stuff unrelated to withdrawals. 

 

I feel so much for you Catherine and for everyone on this site. These meds are the most evil things ever. 

 

💚💚💚

[Dejavu]

Catherine, you know I'm thinking of you. I know moving is such an ordeal while in withdrawal. Try to look ahead to afterward. What an accomplishment this will feel like from the other side!! 

 

You are stronger than you realize. I'm in your corner, rooting for you always. You've got this!!

 

 

[puthappinessfirst]

8 hours ago, Carmie said:

f anyone is reading this could you please give Catherine some encouragement, I’m sure she could really do with it right now.

 

Catherine is one of my great great friends from this site. 

She has helped me so much and offered me so much validation and support.

 

Let's all send her some good vibes <3 

She is a STRONG lady!

[manymoretodays]

Hi intothewoods/Catherine!

 

Sending encouragement, vibes for whatever you need, some great big large bottles of it!

How are you doing today?  Have you moved?

And woah Nellie, that's a big one.......moving is.

 

So.....sending happy housewarming thoughts too.

 

Love, peace, healing, and grrrrrrr owth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

Edited July 22, 2019 by manymoretodays

[intothewoods]

`

12 hours ago, Carmie said:

 

If anyone is reading this could you please give Catherine some encouragement, I’m sure she could really do with it right now. I haven’t been on this site much myself because I’m going through lots of stuff unrelated to withdrawals. 

 

I feel so much for you Catherine and for everyone on this site. These meds are the most evil things ever. 

 

@Carmie I've asked before and will ask again: What would I do without you? This morning surprise was....a surprise! Thank you, especially when you are dealing with so much yourself. Yes, the meds and WD are the most evil things ever. And we must "keep conquering the evil with the good." Kind, strong words from those who know this horror are profound healers.

 

It reminds me of an analogy from yesterday:

 

HUMANS have a natural need for comfort and a remarkable ability to provide it. For instance, when a child falls and skins his knee while playing, he may run to Mum or Dad, crying. The parents cannot heal the wound, but they can comfort the child. They may ask what happened, wipe away his tears, offer soothing words and affection, and perhaps apply some medicine or a bandage. Before long, the child stops crying and may even resume playing. In time, the wound will heal.

 

Interestingly, the child's wound did not vanish. But the comfort was so powerful, he went back to playing. 

 

And so it is with helping each other through the harrowing warrens of WD. Sure, we can analyze our drug schedules, berate ourselves for being polydrugged (and be told how they must be interacting so no wonder we feel horrific), nitpick our personal relationships, eating and sleeping habits,  and more. That would be like the parents drilling the child as to why he rode his bike so dangerously, where was he riding? and what was he thinking would happen? Of course he hurt himself!

 

So thank you, my friend, and those beautiful friends who responded -- @puthappinessfirst, @Dejavu, and @manymoretodays -- for comfort beyond measure. Amazingly the akathisia has settled into minor jerks. I can handle minor jerks 🤪.

 

But Saturday, it went into something I can only describe as approaching an epileptic seizure. Lasting many hours and I would exhaust myself, pass out, then jolt awake, then do the whole thing all over again. It was a rough week; I had to go into hurricane evacuation mode Tuesday because I live in a mobile home and, although we're still dodging debris from Hurricane Michael of last year -- I had to make an escape plan for Barry. Then my mother's lung disease advanced and I'm trying to help her get oxygen and other devices. It hurts to hear your best friend, ravaged by Effexor WD, gasping for breath. 

 

I move in 10 days to 1) a cinderblock house that's 2) two hours from the shore (hurricane ground zero; I've gone through two Cat 5s and dozens of others; I'm done with cyclones) and 3) in a groovy artsy area with gigantic trees and parks and museums and coffee shops and French cafes and organic groceries and vegan lunch counters and I'm going to fill the house with art from many friends and commence work on the psych med story. It's coming along great! A photographer who've I've worked with for decades, and who has been published in National Geographic, NY Times, The Times of London - we are working on visuals for the story. Of a woman in ravaging drug WD. Think black Florida swamp setting. 

 

I do have much to be grateful for. I love the gratitude list movement on SA, by the way. Cheers to you, @Carmie and @puthappinessfirst and all who are posting them! 

 

Until next time, Peace & Joy,

 

Catherine 💜

 

 

 

 

 

[bheb]

44 minutes ago, intothewoods said:

Amazingly the akathisia has settled into minor jerks

 

Um, this is incredible!! I'm so happy for you. And the new place sounds very cool -- hope it doesn't add too much stress.

 

 

[intothewoods]

1 minute ago, bheb said:

Um, this is incredible!! I'm so happy for you. And the new place sounds very cool -- hope it doesn't add too much stress.

 

 

Thank you @bheb!!! No it's a place of much less stress. Right now I have black mold crawling in my mobile home from Hurricane Michael.

 

How are you doing???? I'm so sorry I've been off the horizon. How is your akathisia?? 

 

Hugs to you 🤗

[bheb]

Oh man, yeah I've heard a lot about mold exacerbating things. 

 

No worries, I've been off the horizon too. Still have some constant level of restlessness/tension. Though I'm up and down generally,  with the akathisia and with hope. 

 

Hugs back!

[India]

On 7/22/2019 at 8:20 PM, intothewoods said:

as approaching an epileptic seizure.

Terrifying . So horrible for you.

re black mould can be removed with bleach , gloves and masks required !! 

Not something you want to be dealing with in WD. Akathisia so awful. I used a lot of sleep yoga music videos on YouTube. 

Although I am ill, the extreme acute stage is past. It will for you.

[India]

On 7/22/2019 at 8:20 PM, intothewoods said:

going to fill the house with art from many friends and commence work on the psych med story. It's coming along great! A photographer who've I've worked with for decades, and who has been published in National Geographic, NY Times, The Times of London - we are working on visuals for the story. Of a woman in ravaging drug WD. Think black Florida swamp setting. 

How do you do it? Fantastic news to know the project is coming together!!

 

so sad I literally am so weak I can’t write more.. I used to love to write. 

Until my next bit of energy..

[intothewoods]

12 minutes ago, India said:

How do you do it? Fantastic news to know the project is coming together!!

 

so sad I literally am so weak I can’t write more.. I used to love to write. 

Until my next bit of energy..

 

@India, I do it only with the full tides of spirit like yours. From the start, you are a profound force. You can and do write with your beautiful mind. You just don't know it but the rest of us do. 😊

 

17 minutes ago, India said:

Terrifying . So horrible for you.

re black mould can be removed with bleach , gloves and masks required !! 

Not something you want to be dealing with in WD.

 

I'll be out of it in 9 days!

 

18 minutes ago, India said:

Although I am ill, the extreme acute stage is past. It will for you.

 

I'm so happy the worst is past!! It was always coming for you. It's coming for me too as beneath all the stressors, there is stabilizing. Our bodies... miracles of design - - and self-repair. 

 

Strength and Warrioring, until next time💪

[India]

On 7/24/2019 at 2:56 AM, intothewoods said:

coming for me too as beneath all the stressors, there is stabilizing.

Any news on this? Fireworks too!! Amazing to come up such a poly-cocktail..

[Danalee13]

On 12/16/2018 at 12:39 PM, intothewoods said:

Admin note: intothewoods was previous known under the username Out2C8383. 

 

After taking Provigil for 16 years, I've been tapering for two years and am down from 300 mg to about 12-18 mg. I say "about 12-18 mg" because the smallest tablet is 100 mg so I cut it into fourths and then attempt eighths when it starts to crumble. I've been stuck at this dose for over six months, wake every morning in frenzied CNS Provigil withdrawal (it has a short half-life, about 11 hours; I've tried taking small doses later in the day but my it makes me sicker) until I can get enough small pieces in my bloodstream to function a little. I've read that Provigil is not water-soluable but yet, I am able to liquify it easily with water.   I just don't know how to create a formula and dosing schedule but it would save my body to have a more precise amount of the drug day by day. 

Thanks to all help!!

 

 

hi! Just wondering what modafinil withdrawal feels like?

[intothewoods]

Hi @Danalee13. I'm going to respond to your query but am in the midst of a big house move. So may be a few days. ....... Take Care,  Catherine