MatrixCode: protracted withdrawal is real - please help me to find my way

[MatrixCode]

@Gracee

 

yes. and Im having anxiety like feelings when I don't cry.

 

I took my 6 beads of capsule now with solian 100 mg.

[MatrixCode]

today I woke up with anxiety and panicking. like morning dreads. I feel cold and body weakness.

[MatrixCode]

3 pm. I woke up with anxiety and fatigue

3:20 pm I ate something

4 pm my anxiety became worse 

5 pm  I took magnesium. my body was overheating and was sensitive to things

6 pm I felt better a bit

 

that's the summary for now. I will add to that. it's the 2nd day Im not having crying spells. but  anxiety comes and goes with fatigue

 

[MatrixCode]

Im still having severe withdrawal symptoms death like feelings. I want to up my dose to 10 mg .is it ok?

 

 

  @eymen23 

 

@ChessieCat

 

 

 

[eymen23]

 

Hi MatrixCode,

 

I’m sorry you’re still dealing with such difficult symptoms. 

 

Please post a full day’s notes at a time. It can be difficult to read through notes scattered across several posts. 

 

Do you feel you’ve been better, worse, or mostly the same since reinstating the 6 beads? 10mg is a hefty reinstatement and we wouldnt suggest that. If we felt it was appropriate to suggest a higher dose, it would be much smaller than that. 

Edited March 20, 2019 by Shep
replaced old username with new username

[MatrixCode]

@eymen23 

 

 

Im not feeling better since I started on 6 beads. I feel worse. Im in a very bad situation. 

[MatrixCode]

3 pm. I woke up with anxiety and fatigue

3:20 pm I ate something

4 pm my anxiety became worse 

5 pm  I took magnesium. my body was overheating and was sensitive to things

6 pm I felt better a bit

7 pm I started to have severe crying period again. 

8 pm I went to ER 

11 pm Still feeling I am going to be suicidal if it goes like that

 

[eymen23]

On 3/13/2019 at 4:28 PM, MatrixCode said:

@eymen23 

 

 

Im not feeling better since I started on 6 beads. I feel worse. Im in a very bad situation. 

 

I have brung this to the attention of the other mods. If you’re trending towards getting worse since reinstating, 10mg is definitely not a good idea. You may be better off without Cymbalta at all, but I will await further guidance.

 

In what way have you got worse? Which symptoms specifically and since when? Please provide as much detail as possible. 

 

Why did you go to the ER? What did they suggest? 

Edited March 20, 2019 by Shep
changed quoted textbox to reflect new username

[ChessieCat]

On 3/13/2019 at 4:31 PM, MatrixCode said:

8 pm I went to ER 

Q:  Were you given any drug at the ER?

 

Q:  If yes, what drug was it?

Edited March 20, 2019 by Shep
replaced old username with new username

[MatrixCode]

@eymen23 

 

@ChessieCat

 

 

I didn't take any drugs in ER 

 

usually they just give you ativan and send you home.

 

Yes my nervous system is in so bad condition. I hardly focus, hardly listen and speak. I still have fears for no reason during doing things irrational thoughts coming to my brain about things I don't really care. are so so bad. and morning dreads.  I still have crying spells.I know it all happened to me because of my fast tapering and switching.

 

I would just continue to use cymbalta than having those bad moments. and stabilize my nervous system.

 

 

I feel like I need to cry more to feel relief in my nervous system. IF I DON'T, it piles up and anxiety starts then I feel awful mentally all those fears are starting to come I start to lose control in my mind and it goes so severe. crying helps during that time. but Im panicking too much because Im having these symptoms every day so I started to feel that my body won't handle these crying and nervous system related  problems. I went to ER just to get some help. They wanted me to get checked in hospital and told me to get an appointment and decide what to do with doctors. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[MatrixCode]

Now I don't know if taking cymbalta will help but I don't want another doctor to prescribe me another medicine.

 

Is my nervous system getting more problems after reinstating cymbalta or is the dose so little that it didn't do any effect while the withdrawal symptoms from quitting cymbalta are getting more worse

[eymen23]

MatrixCode,

 

We are reliant on you to provide a detailed account of how your symptoms have changed since reinstating the 6 beads of Cymbalta. Without this, we are unable to tell whether the Cymbalta may be causing an adverse reaction or not. 

 

Which symptoms have got worse? When did they begin to get worse? 

 

Also in your notes, please start to include what time you took the Cymbalta. What time did you take Cymbalta for the notes above? 

Edited March 20, 2019 by Shep
replaced old username with new username

[MatrixCode]

@eymen23

 

 

I take cymbalta everyday at 4 pm. My sleeping times are not good nowadays. 

 

crying spells are still the same 

 

anxiety is there after 6 beads but (maybe it's about previous CT and withdrawals are getting worse. that's what made me think that 6 beads may made me feel worse.)

 

morning dreads wwere always there.

 

fatigue was always there.

 

Im doing my best Im not so familiar with web sites 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[eymen23]

Are you saying that your symptoms are about the same since reinstating 6 beads? Or are you saying your anxiety has got worse?

 

Sorry to keep repeating myself, but it’s really important we know.  

[MatrixCode]

@eymen23

 

 

 

yes the symptoms are about the same. nothing that helps me. it's been 5 days with 6 beads

[eymen23]

 

Although I'm glad you are not getting worse, I'm sorry to hear you're yet to see any/much difference with the 6 beads. As we have noted previously, it can take quite a while for reinstatement to improve symptoms and take the edge off withdrawal syndrome. If there is no improvement whatsoever in the coming weeks, one of the moderators may suggest a small increase in the number beads, but please keep us updated as to how your symptoms are changing/progressing via your daily notes so we can best assess this.

 

In regards to your ER trip, was this due to a bad panic attack or anxiety? I know you are desperate right now and I empathise. The suffering you're going through is very hard to bear but please try to remain patient and hopeful. We all have to stay positive on this journey and ride the waves as best we can. If you find yourself regularly visiting ER or other medical establishments, you may end up on more drugs that only make matters more complicated. Please only go to the ER if is you absolutely need emergency medical care.

Edited March 20, 2019 by Shep
removed old username

[bubble]

On 3/11/2019 at 10:53 AM, MatrixCode said:

I stopped reducing it today. I was weighing it on a scale It was 254-253 g I went down to 239 for a few days. now I get your response and go back to 254. which was my original 100mg solian.

I was having several mood swings so I go back to solian normal dose again. but I took it as a low mg (239grams) for 2 days. I don't know if it will make an impact.

 

I would also like to draw the mods' attention to the fact that a few days ago you were reducing Solian. This complicates the assessment of how the reinstatement of Cymbalta is affecting you.

 

On 3/12/2019 at 5:03 PM, MatrixCode said:

8 p.m. went out to feel better.
9 p.m. Feel a bit better

 

 

This again contradicts your latest reporting that you are not feeling any better at all.

Edited March 20, 2019 by Shep
changed quoted textbox to reflect new username

[bubble]

 

On 3/13/2019 at 10:20 PM, MatrixCode said:

crying spells are still the same 

 

 

On 3/13/2019 at 12:25 PM, MatrixCode said:

6 pm I felt better a bit

 

that's the summary for now. I will add to that. it's the 2nd day Im not having crying spells. but  anxiety comes and goes with fatigue

 

There is more contradiction in how you report about your symptoms.

 

I know it is very hard but you need to do whatever you can to be patient and not agonize about your symptoms. It's been only 5 days since you hurt your central nervous system badly by cold turkey Cymbalta. Only 4 days ago you were hurting it even more by reducing Solian. 

 

Yet despite all that after only a few days you started seeing improvements. At this stage that's a very positive sign.

 

All you can do now is to practice some self-soothing skills. This is very important.

Edited March 20, 2019 by Shep
changed quoted textbox to reflect new username

[MatrixCode]

@bubble

 

 

Im having ups and down during the day. that's why I wrote "I felt better" but my symptoms aren't getting better. still having waves and windows. Im still learning about this forum.

 

Im trying to watch myself about crying spells and there has been rare days I was without it. but it was always there. 

 

 

[MatrixCode]

I took a risk. I was so hopeless.

 

and took my 10 mg duloxetine(85 beads). I felt better today. I will watch myself and see how I will be doing within 2-3 weeks with 85 beads.

 

I know I did something this web site doesn't approve. but please note that I was so hopeless. and today I wake up with anxiety again. but it all went away after taking 10 mg cymbalta.

 

Edited March 18, 2019 by ChessieCat
edited at request of member

[Altostrata]

Reinstating 10mg Cymbalta is fine, MatrixCode. What we have difficulty with is your frequent changing of your drugs and dosages. Every time you change even one drug, it can change your entire symptom pattern. We need to see what a change does before talking about another change.

 

If you are feeling better on 10mg Cymbalta, please do not change any of your drugs for at least a week and see how you feel. That's the only way to tell if increasing Cymbalta was a good idea. Please take your drugs at the same times and dosages each day.

Edited March 20, 2019 by Shep
updated for new username

[MatrixCode]

@Altostrata

 

 

 

 

17/03/2019

 

3 pm I woke up fine

4 pm  I took my 85 beads of cymbalta

4 pm I ate something

 

5-6-7pm I had that fearful feeling (morning dreads) in my chest like stressful feeling. 

8 pm went to gym just for walking

9 pm went out for eating

10pm  I felt so tired I rest in bed. I slept for 30-40 min

11 pm woke up with heart palpilations. 

11 pm I cried ( much less than my normal crying spells. maybe just for 2-3 minutes)

 

 

 

Im taking 85 beads daily

 

 

 

 

 

[MatrixCode]

 Today

 

3 pm I woke up

4 pm ate something and took 85 beads

5 pm anxiety started with restless feelings

6 pm felt so cold like freezing

7 pm had a crying period for a while. (longer than previous one)

8 pm rest in bed

 

still feeling so down and anxiety feeling are unbearable sometimes

[MatrixCode]

is it Kindling 

l have anxiety and fast heartbeat during the day. 

[MatrixCode]

19/03/2019

 

Im still taking 85 beads cymbalta everyday. yesterday I had a very normal day.

 

woke up with anxiety and little palpilations, also short breath

 

[eymen23]

Glad you had a normal day yesterday, that’s a good sign of the potential for longer term stabilisation. It’s likely you’ll experience windows and waves for some time, so please try to be patient and use days like yesterday as evidence that things are moving in the right direction.

Edited March 20, 2019 by Shep
removed old username

[MatrixCode]

today was a nightmare. short breath problems, anxiety, crying and all... I don't know how to help myself

 

 

[SDOE]

Your statement about not knowing how to help yourself sounds familiar.  At times I have difficulty calming myself but can easily make myself more upset with my negative thoughts.  Have you tried searching youtube for short videos on meditation, anxiety, hypnosis, or visualizing positive outcomes?  Or the 4 7 8 breathing? I like short videos because they require less time commitment and I can re-watch them another day to drill the info into my long term memory.

 

[MatrixCode]

my life is ruined. I have no option but to live with withdrawals or what so ever these things are. and I hardly get help from this topic so I think its time to not writing anymore. Im prescribed zyprexa by doctors and I stopped taking cymbalta 4 days ago.

 

so I don't know where I am going from here. thank you all for your efforts. bye

[MatrixCode]

Titled:  Stuck on Olanzapine(Zyprexa)

 

I'm stuck on olanzapine. was put on this by my doctor who knows obviosly nothing about withdrawal symptoms, put me on this just to silence my withdrawals.

 

I was in a hellish cymbalta and solian withdrawal back then, afterwards I was put on different ssri's, seeing they didn't work. I guess my brain couldn't heal from the damages of those drugs.

 

after very bad days I agreed to  start on 10 mg of lexapro - and 2.5 mg zyprexa. back in 2019-march(olanzapine) - october 2019 (lexapro)

 

I tried cold turkey from 2.5, no no no. never worked. crippling anxiety and depression.

 

I tried to taper off olanzapine, by %10 reduce. it didn't work. I was left miserable.  never ending crying spells started.

 

how can I be free of olanzapine. Thank you so much

Edited January 21, 2020 by manymoretodays
merged 2nd intro topic with 1st, title added

[manymoretodays]

Hi MatrixCode, @MatrixCode

Welcome back.  Pretty horrible withdrawal and remedications then........I'm sorry.

I merged your most recent introduction back to this one.  Just one introduction per member.  And it really can be helpful for us to have all your information in one place.

 

What medications are you presently on?  I see you noted Lexapro as well as the Zyprexa.
Can you update your signature for us:  Please put your withdrawal history in your signature

This will really help us get a better idea of where you are at right now.

• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs
• Include ALL drugs, doses, and dates (starting and stopping)
• Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (e.g. mid-June) rather than relative time frames (e.g. 3 months ago)
• Spell out months (e.g. "January" or "Jan" as 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as 9 Jan 2016 or 1 Sept 2016)
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses

 

Example:

2001–2002 paroxetine 
2003  citalopram 
2004  paroxetine
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to 2016 Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg

 

If you edit your signature, the new one replaces any prior signature. It will appear in your signature under all your posts, even your old posts. If you want to save the information in the old signature, copy it and save it in a file on your computer or in a post in your Introductions topic.

 

(As of 12/31/13: Signatures are limited to 12 lines of text.)

How to add or edit your signature

1. Click on this link to open the correct page in User Settings:
   Create Your Signature in "Account Settings". 
   2017-June 12 update: link works on desktop, tablet and mobile phone versions
    
2. Enter your signature in the space provided.
3. When you are done, Click on the big black Save button at the bottom.

I understand that you are feeling really frustrated right now, and hopefully we can help you with a new taper plan to ultimately reach your goal of being drug free one day.  It may be that you need to go down in smaller percentages with your Zyprexa, when you begin tapering that again.

Let me know if you need help, getting your more recent history in the signature, or with organizing it.  That will help us alot, as well as knowing what other drugs you are on right now.

 

Thanks MatrixCode,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Edited January 22, 2020 by manymoretodays

[MatrixCode]

Quote

 

@manymoretodays

 

 

Thank you.

 

do you think that I need to try being stable on olanzapine first, then taper it off? Also lexapro.  I'm not feeling stable.

[manymoretodays]

On 1/22/2020 at 7:46 AM, MatrixCode said:

@manymoretodays

 

 

Thank you.

 

do you think that I need to try being stable on olanzapine first, then taper it off? Also lexapro.  I'm not feeling stable.

 

Yes.  And then, we usually will have members taper the more activating medication/drug first.  Which in your case would be the Lexapro.  It looks like you've only been on that since October too. 

 

Why don't you share what a day is like for you now, times of drugs, doses, symptoms, sleep, and supplements? 

 

Try this format:  daily notes

And so forth. A diary, in chronological order, looking something like this:
 
6 a.m. Woke with anxiety
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Stomach is upset
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Feel a bit better
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Feeling dizzy
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke but got back to sleep

 

That should help us to see a bit more of where you are at now.  And meantime, stay consistent with your drugs and dosages.......same dose, same time, each day and avoid any other psychoactives too.  Things like alcohol, recreational drugs, too much caffiene, etc, etc,

 

Thanks MC.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[MatrixCode]

@manymoretodays

 

hey brother.  I guess I have to be honest with you. I tried to come off my 2.5 olanzapine again. it's the 8th day that I'm without it. and I started to feel anxiety, I can't sleep in the night.

 

and my body goes dehydrated. I start to have very bad shortness of breath problem. heart palpilations.withdrawals started.

 

6 am- I was awake.

7 am- I was awake again.

1 pm- I woke up. had a breakfast.

3 pm- shortness of breath problem.

4 pm- feeling tired. drinking a lot of water.

 

I need suggestions. I'm taking my lexapro at 8 pm everyday.

 

 

 

[manymoretodays]

Why are you taking Lexapro at night?  Have you always done this?

 

On 1/28/2020 at 6:21 AM, MatrixCode said:

hey brother.  I guess I have to be honest with you. I tried to come off my 2.5 olanzapine again. it's the 8th day that I'm without it. and I started to feel anxiety, I can't sleep in the night.

 

and my body goes dehydrated. I start to have very bad shortness of breath problem. heart palpilations.withdrawals started.

 

6 am- I was awake.

7 am- I was awake again.

1 pm- I woke up. had a breakfast.

3 pm- shortness of breath problem.

4 pm- feeling tired. drinking a lot of water.

 

I need suggestions. I'm taking my lexapro at 8 pm everyday.

 

If I were you I would reinstate some of the olanzapine again.  Can you do a 1.25 mg dose?  It can be a huge bear to come off of so quickly and abruptly.  What time did you go to sleep? 

 

Try some of the 4-7-8 breathing when feeling real panicky.  In through the nose(preferably) for a count of 4 seconds, then hold for 7 seconds, and then slowly exhale for an 8 second count.  Keep trying it, until you are focused enough to do it a few times through.  And attention to the space between the breathes as well.  It can sometimes calm the anxious/panic feelings.

 

Tips for tapering off Zyprexa(olanzapine)

^ might be helpful to take a look at now, and in getting familiar with how to get smaller doses

 

You should probably work on a beginning taper of Lexapro first, as it's your more activating drug now.

 

However, let's see where you are at now, and if we can get you more stabilized again with the olanzapine.  And so sorry, I somehow missed your post last Tuesday.  It was a busy week. 

Update please.  Thank you.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Edited February 3, 2020 by manymoretodays

[MatrixCode]

@manymoretodays

 

hey bro again.  I reinstated on 1.25 mg zyprexa after being without it for 9 days. now I'm still taking it as 1.25 for nearly 9-10 days.

 

Thank you for your suggestions about breathing techniques.

 

I started sleeping normally after taking zyprexa- 1.25 mg.

 

You are already helping, thank you for that. I think I'm still trying to be stable on olanzapine. then I will try to cut my dose again?

 

my lexapro is 10 mg and I'm still taking it. can you suggest me a taper plan for that too? I have to be honest with you, I'm very scared to taper it off.  you see my page here, it was all about suffering after quitting cymbalta nearly cold turkey. so bro I don't know what to expect if I quit lexapro.

 

I'm checking out the link. thank you