Albin: Lexapro started my nightmare, then olanzapine and then ...

[Albin]

Shane is your chat not working? You never wrote back on the cat, or maybe it is the SA site that is buggy? Let me know!

Also don't what to push drugs but I will probably be trying metformin in a month or so due to my decline. Dunno what people think about that but it is just to heal brain damage, also damage to dopaminergic system + help you loose weight gained from antipsychotics in many cases apparently.

 

@Shane88L The hard thing about this is that I haven't found someone that have been so polydrugged like me and recovered. It is so much to heal from and I have forgotten what I was. Without memories or anything that made me me it is really hard.

 

@Altostrata Do you know a case like mine that have healed?

[Altostrata]

Albin, I don't know what you mean by "a case like mine." We have many people here who had relatively short-term exposure to all kinds of drugs and have slowly recovered. 

 

I don't perceive yours as a particularly dire case.

 

On 9/2/2019 at 9:37 AM, Albin said:

Thanks guys.

 

even though I am not healing, some stuff came back, reward system (enjoying food a bit) and stuff like this. It dissappeared after my trip to Poland. I am doing HBOT there and the first sessions improved my energy dramatically and I also slept deep. 5th session was a disaster though, I suspect I got less oxygen or something.

now reward system is gone, I have fever like flu, and nothing matters anymore, again but even less drive. I am totally disconnected guys, reward system was a Nice focus before. Now nothing.

 

Did I screw up by trying HBOT? probably....

 

Have no idea what HBOT is.

 

What we see here is that recovery from psychiatric drug damage is slow and frustrating. Thus, your situation is "normal."

 

However, if you keep on trying remedies based on these superstitions regarding chemical imbalance, you might accidentally make yourself worse.

 

 

On 9/18/2019 at 4:48 AM, Albin said:

Symptoms that are gone or less pronounced:

Insomnia

Chemically induced anxiety

Inability to swallow and talk

Inability to open my mouth

Automatically movement of the neck

 

Good to hear these symptoms have lessened. Thanks for reporting this progress. 

 

Please read

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Are We There Yet? How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take?

 

"Is it always going to be like this?"

 

The importance of recognizing you're feeling good

 

Creating a new self after withdrawal

 

Protracted Withdrawal or PAWS (post-acute withdrawal syndrome)

 

What does healing from withdrawal syndrome feel like?

 

Withdrawal dialogues & encouragement

[Albin]

Thanks @Altostrata.

"Good to hear these symptoms have lessened. Thanks for reporting this progress. "

Well nothing has improved since I wrote my intro, those symptoms lessened after the injection.

The anxiety is gone, but so is all my feelings so I wouldn't call it progress either.

 

HBOT is Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy.

 

"However, if you keep on trying remedies based on these superstitions regarding chemical imbalance, you might accidentally make yourself worse."

I agree. It don't think it is a superstition. All I know is that my dopaminergic pathways are damaged and I have no higher functioning anymore. No personality and stuff that is a big part of that. They call "antipsychotics" chemical lobotomies for a reason. 

 

But yeah I do hope I heal to some degree.

 

PSSD is very hard to heal from.

 

Being in 20-30 year age span, and male, and very thin, makes you the most susceptible for damage from these drugs. I wish I had taken them when much older.

 

 

[Albin]

Supplements I take right now:

Ester-c (2g)

Astaxin (80 mg)

Sodium butyrate 340 mg 

Probiotic (Streptococcus thermophilus 750 m, Bifidobacterium bifidum 500 m, Lactobacillus acidophilus 250 m, Lactobacillus casei 250 m, Lactococcus lactis 250 m)

Vitamin E (400 IU)

Omega 3  (600 EPA, 400 DHA)

Gelatine powder

 

Thoughts?
Planning on trying B12 (cyano, not methyl because methyl can be bad for SSRI wd among other psych meds).

Planning on trying B-complex, also.

[Albin]

@Altostrata

I haven't found a single case like mine.

I am totally lobotomized. Many people experience horrible stuff, but it is often in terms of stimulation and hypersensitivity.

I experience nothing. My brain is completely dead and I have severe PSSD, how can that not be a dire state? I don't understand.

[Clatterbust]

@Albin

Hey man, you can join the pssd forum. There are several cases like yours. Take care. 

[Albin]

Hi,

I know I am a member there and get help from Mesolimbo who says I am a very severe case.

[Altostrata]

Well, Albin, you seem to know all, so I hope you understand if I don't respond further.

[Albin]

54 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Well, Albin, you seem to know all, so I hope you understand if I don't respond further.

 

@Altostrata I certainly not know all. 

 

But if you know a case here on SA that has successfully recovered from a typical antipsychotic injection I would like to know that. That is what I asked for.

That is something I don't know.

 

It is certainly a difference from drug to drug, dose to dose, and drug class. 

I have yet to found a case to give me me hope. I have lost so much since I first posted, it is not really going in trend with what is seen here on SA.

 

The hardest thing with this lobotomy is that you stop being a person. I can't get offended nor do I want any fights or arguments.  

I just know the difference between SSRI and AP in terms of experience, and I know what happened after that injection. I have only found 2 people on the internet given that injection. They share my experience, so it is not that uplifting

 

[Shane88L]

Hi Albin,

 

There certainly are many people who have recovered from an antipsychotic injection. 
People here are suffering, and those who heal rarely come back to say they have. They prefer to move on with their lives. Perhaps that is why it is harder to find stories of those who have recovered. 

Surround yourself with positivity, even if you cannot feel it yet. Be with positive people who treat you well.

Stop resigning yourself to a fate that is not guaranteed, and not proven whatsoever. This is making things doubly hard for yourself.

I started feeling far better when I began to focus less of what went "wrong" and what I "lost" and just accepting things for how they are now.

Healing will happen. Keep telling yourself this. You will feel better eventually.

All the best,

 

Shane.

 

[Albin]

Makes no sense that people would not post on their success. Many people also end their lives? 

But yeah. I just need support. Someone to talk to. Maybe we can talk over the phone sometime Shane?

 

[Albin]

 

PSSD-Patient-Experiences-2019-Manuscript(1).pdf

[Albin]

Update guys:

Only getting worse still. I am not doing anything, except healthy diet and some magnesium, omega 3 and antioxidants.
Living with a lobotomy is very meaningless.

[Altostrata]

On 9/20/2019 at 8:26 AM, Albin said:

Planning on trying B12 (cyano, not methyl because methyl can be bad for SSRI wd among other psych meds).

 

I have never heard of this. Methylcobalamin is absorbed more readily. B vitamins in general can be activating.

 

Emotional anesthesia is a very, very common consequence of having been on psychiatric drugs, we have many people here with it, and with PSSD, too.

 

Since you went off drugs in March 2019, you've been recovering for only 6 months. When we say recovery is slow, we mean slow -- as in many months.

 

Do what you can to enjoy what you can enjoy, take care of your body, get regular sleep. The body tends to repair itself. But as I've said a few times, this is slow and frustrating.

[Albin]

Well it is well known on PFS forums and PSSD forums, many people crash from Methylated B-vitamins, because SSRI's for example change methylation.
 

Quote

 You've been recovering for only 6 months. 

But I haven't recovered at all. Quite the opposite. I have lost all lot of things. Ability to play music among them, a gradual decline.
 

Quote

Do what you can to enjoy what you can enjoy, take care of your body, get regular sleep. The body tends to repair itself. But as I've said a few times, this is slow and frustrating.

I eat healthy, I sleep.

I can't enjoy anything though, and that happened because of Mucuna Pruriens in January.

I don't think it is about any repairing. The body has altered homeostasis and thinks it is ok.
How else can one guy I am talking to have suffered 12 years?

I agree the trend for most is healing, but it doesn't mean it will happen to anyone. Polydrugging is nasty.

I would have healed after Olanzapine, that I am sure. But there is no one I know that have healed from a typical AP-injection.



 

[Altostrata]

I can't tell the future. But maybe you can. If you believe you will not recover, I'm sure you're right. It may be you'll find more corroboration on other sites.

 

A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

[Albin]

I have tried both, I ate magnesium and fish oil daily for years even before the pills aswell. Before Mucuna pruriens and injection, every supplement I took benefitted me.

It doesn't matter what I believe though, it is a construct of the mind. My personality is wiped, my experience too. 

 

There no suffering, no emotions, no anxiety, just everything blank. I have aged, lost all my abilities and everything that made me me. 
If it was "simply" withdrawal that would be one thing, this is something else. You don't seem to believe in the unlucky few who after a couple of pills and short exposures get ***** for life because of genetics and their unique brain chemistry.

 

I do believe theme, because I am very certain I am one of them.

But ofc I do a good diet and try stuff, but I don't even notice anything. I don't have an experience. No headache, no nightmares, no adrenaline, no reacting to sunlight or noise or anything. I am the living dead, and this should not be possible. My adverse reaction to the first meds was pure hell, and it was an experience going through hell. When someone told me it would be ok I believed, and I am certain I would have healed at that point. Unluckely I ended up here because of some very bad luck in my choices.

[Albin]

I don't think you realize that a true lobotomy is possible.

Imagine reacting adversely to an SSRI, what will happen if you get injected with a "typical antispychotic", it is the worst form of medicine that exists.

I don't think people realize how that erasure is. I am yet to find a person that have survived that with their soul intact.

[Albin]

Will talk to psychologist on Monday about patients she have had ***** by clopixol injections.

Nothing new other than decline.

I had a very good life in all areas prior. Now I am a zombie on a sofa.

Insights about life mean nothing when you are dead.

Why the body and brain keeps on declining is why I understand how "mental illness" is permanent. Drugs creates it.

[A14n]

Just reading this post. I am very similar from ct and reinstatement of sertraline. Gets worse each day not sure what to do. No memories or sense of who I am. Not aware of where my body is I feel nothing no physically or mentally apart from being scared as I don't know what is going on. Can't remember my life before this. I can barely speak now 

[Albin]

Update:

No improvements. Only decline.

[Len189]

Sorry to hear that. Wish I knew of a cure for what ails us. Nevertheless, I hope time will, at some point, ease your symptoms.

[Shane88L]

Hi Albin,

 

Keep going, it will all get better eventually.

[Abdullah]

Hi. I've come across about 5 cases of recovery on this site. Took antipsychotics for a short term period, had adverse reactions and quit cold turkey. It took a minimum of 10 months for improvements to start happening. And a maximum of 3 years for full recovery. 

 

[Abdullah]

I'm experiencing similar (psychological) symptoms. Brain shut down, thoughts and emotions gone after CTing Abilify. I seriously doubt it did any permanent damage since I only took it for 15 days. 

[Shane88L]

You definitely didn't do any permanent damage.

15 months of ct from 3 and a half weeks of Zyprexa and I'm still seeing improvements. Not at all fully healed, but getting there.
 

[Abdullah]

I've been following your thread Shane. Gave me some much needed hope. Although my symptoms are unchanged, accepting my current condition (and the fact that it will end eventually) has given me a great deal of peace. 

 

[Abdullah]

I'm also planning to open a small restaurant (with help, of course). Just to keep myself distracted and busy. Not expecting to see any improvements until after next year (though it would be a pleasant surprise if there are any before then). Hope to be just functional enough by the end of 2021 to rejoin medical school. 

[BigPharmaStinks]

@Albin So sorry to see you affected in such a severe and debilitating manner from these drugs. I really hope you're still here with us as you deserve a recovery from this hell! 

[Shane88L]

Hi Albin, 

 

I've been thinking about you and hope you're doing better these days.

 

Wishing you the very best.

 

Shane.

[Sofa]

@Albin

How are you feeling now? Getting better?

[stech]

I am happy to report that albin is better, I've been able to contact with him. I am not willing to disclose more info since this is confidential can't jeopardize his rights to privacy.

 

But the reason i mention this is to emphasize to the people at SA Forum that many individuals might stop reporting if they get better or opt not read other stories.