sunnysideup69: what can I do to stabilise on venlafaxine

[mstimc]

3 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

One thing I've learned for sure is that stabilisation is painstakingly slow (in my case, maybe not in yours) and full of ups and downs. Life circumstances can certainly aggravate healing, too. One has to develop enormous patience in order to cope with the process. 

The ups and downs of recovery were a hard lesson for me to learn, too.  In so much of life, such as work or physical training, we expect a steady upward path as we progress.  Unfortunately, WD and recovery aren't like that.  So many factors come into play, like our unique life situations, outside events, diet, even environment, and they call affect our situation on any given day.  That's why focusing on long-term progress is helpful.  You've come a long way in the last few months; a few rocky days don't mean much.  Positive thoughts going out to you!

[sunnysideup69]

@mstimc, thank you so much, your kind words always cheer me up and you're so right, this flippin recovery malarkey certainly isn't linear. It's always good to be reminded.

Anyway, thank you. I'm less of a misery guts now....a friend dragged me out for a 5k walk, it's a sunny Spring day and I'm feeling a bit better. Pretty sure the isolation of lockdown has caused at least some of my waviness this year.

Good health to you, @mstimc ☺️☺️.

[mstimc]

I think the lockdown has us all off-kilter.  I know one of the reasons I want to badly to return to the States (despite the chaos) is this lockdown.  We have a nice apartment but there's no way for me to do woodworking, which has always been a calming outlet for me.  And we haven't see our son in person for more than 18 months.  It is maddening!

 

Nice weather today in southern Portugal too.  We're going for our one permitted walk! 

[sunnysideup69]

Still in wave but I think it's on the way out. Had a really good cry last night and realised I was feeling grief which had been bubbling up all week ...masked a bit by drug. Had a look at an old birthday card from my sister and that set me off. Was actually a relief to cry and feel something NOT chemical in nature. There's a distinct difference, I feel. 

 

Also, discovered something interesting. Finally got round to creating a 'dream journal.' Have been recording my dreams over the last year, going to use the more psychological ones in therapy. Creating the journal involved going back through my everyday journals for the last year, cutting out and sticking/ or copying the dreams into my dream journal. I noticed from my comments that after a sugar binge, I always have a period of vivid dreaming. Not immediately, but about three days later, usually in conjunction with the sugar-induced wave beginning. In fact, vivid dreams are always a feature of waves, for me.

 

Was wondering why sugar binge (and then WD) has this effect? It must do something to neurotransmitters.

 

[mstimc]

The nature and meaning of dreams is something I've always been interested in.  Did you just start a journal or did you use a resource to help you create it?  

[Malbec37]

On 2/28/2021 at 6:12 AM, sunnysideup69 said:

Still in wave but I think it's on the way out. Had a really good cry last night and realised I was feeling grief which had been bubbling up all week ...masked a bit by drug. Had a look at an old birthday card from my sister and that set me off. Was actually a relief to cry and feel something NOT chemical in nature. There's a distinct difference, I feel. 

 
Hey Sunny that’s great that wave is on the way out and and also that you were able to cry and access the grief. I’m sure the drugs do suppress being able to do the natural thing by crying and letting go off the stuck emotions 

 

I love having a good cry but it rarely ever happens. Can’t wait to be off this drug so I’m able to do so 

 

On 2/28/2021 at 6:12 AM, sunnysideup69 said:

noticed from my comments that after a sugar binge, I always have a period of vivid dreaming. Not immediately, but about three days later, usually in conjunction with the sugar-induced wave beginning. In fact, vivid dreams are always a feature of waves, for me.

 

I also suffer from restless and vivid dreams especially when in the worst waves...interesting to think it could be linked to sugar, quite possible 

 

one day all will be well and we will sleep deep and sound once our CNS is fully healed 

[sunnysideup69]

Hello everyone, have missed you all but have been busy navigating returning to school after online teaching for so long.

So, thought it was time for an update.

 

Good news is, I'm feeling good. March was a long open stretch of feeling pretty normal. I'm stable, and my wobbles are pretty minor.

The only grievances I have these days are post-menopause related.....although comparing meno symptoms and WD, I notice so many similarities. I've just been wading through the meno/ HRT threads here and am finding myself bidding in agreement.

 

Basically, I feel pretty ready to taper, but I'm considering the possibility of utilising a tiny tiny amount of HRT to help with various post meno symptoms.

 

Don't know why it hadn't struck me before but, 2016 was when I had my last menstruation. I crashed off Citalopram that year, was ok but got worse and you can see the rest of the story in my signature.

2017 I did another too fast taper. 

The piece of the puzzle that hasn't really occurred to me before is that, both times, I would have been experiencing the cessation of having periods. So, it was a double whammy, WD and menopause. I think WD has to be pretty hard whilst going into menopause.

 

As I'm now stable on Venlafaxine, before I begin a taper, I'm thinking about adding some very low dose estrogen/ progesterone. With a great deal of caution, I should add. If that is successful, I would then begin a taper.

 

It's actually made me wonder how much of my 'anxiety and depression' were hormonally driven, in the past, also.

 

Still researching and talking to people. Obviously,previous history of psycho drugs makes caution highly advisable and am reading up on this forum about other people's experiences as much as I can. 

 

So, that's where I'm currently at. Am going to drop into your threads and see how you are all doing.xxxx

[mstimc]

Hi Sunny

 

Thank you for the update!  It sounds like you are coping well with the odd transitional times we are in.  Please keep us posted on your progress!

[sunnysideup69]

1 minute ago, mstimc said:

Hi Sunny

 

Thank you for the update!  It sounds like you are coping well with the odd transitional times we are in.  Please keep us posted on your progress!

Thanks mstimc, I will do! Am on holiday now, so will be around a bit more these next two weeks. How are you?

[mstimc]

Just now, sunnysideup69 said:

Thanks mstimc, I will do! Am on holiday now, so will be around a bit more these next two weeks. How are you?

Doing okay, thanks for asking!  We're starting to make our plans to return to the States in November.  We talked to our son via WhatsApp earlier today, and we miss him more each time we see him.  Portugal is slowly reopening and we may go for a hike along the coast Tuesday.  Honestly, we've had it with COVID and just want to get our vaccines and go hom!

[sunnysideup69]

Just now, mstimc said:

Doing okay, thanks for asking!  We're starting to make our plans to return to the States in November.  We talked to our son via WhatsApp earlier today, and we miss him more each time we see him.  Portugal is slowly reopening and we may go for a hike along the coast Tuesday.  Honestly, we've had it with COVID and just want to get our vaccines and go hom!

Ugh, I feel the same re Covid. London is slowly beginning to open up. I've had first vaccine and apart from feeling like death for two days, didn't cause a wave or anything...which had been my fear 

 

Great that you're planning your return to U.S. ❤️

[mstimc]

We're not sure when we can get our vaccines; Portugal started off well but things seem a bit bogged down now.  We're hoping for summer.  For once the US seems to be out in front--more than 25% of the population has been vaccinated already!

 

We never intended to stay here forever--maybe five years.  But the pandemic has made us reassess our priorities.  For all its faults, the US is still "home".

[sunnysideup69]

Yes, there have been hold ups with the rollout in several European countries, I heard. Hope you get your vaccines really soon.

[sunnysideup69]

Oh, I forgot to mention in my update...I now am the guardian of an eleven week old kitten. Got him three weeks ago....I've called him Obi ( yes, as in Wan Kanobi.)😂

 

He's an absolute delight ❣️ and a total distraction. Am getting next to zero chores done as all he wants is to cuddle and play. He's definitely a force for good in my life.

[sunnysideup69]

10 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Oh, I forgot to mention in my update...I now am the guardian of an eleven week old kitten. Got him three weeks ago....I've called him Obi ( yes, as in Wan Kanobi.)😂

 

He's an absolute delight ❣️ and a total distraction. Am getting next to zero chores done as all he wants is to cuddle and play. He's definitely a force for good in my life.

Oops, I also forgot to mention, as part of the healing story....

My skin has pretty much healed. After I cold switched drugs, there was a three month period where my skin was fine but then began to break out really badly.

By break out, I mean it started off as facial eczema over my eyelids, then these weird blood blisters under the skin, then spots that were actually kind of blistering. Watery. They came up and then went scabby and took ages to go away and left scarring, which is thankfully mostly faded now. My face by February 2020 looked so red and sore. 

I've been treating my facial skin really gently, just cleansing with Clinique soap, no make up, and moisturising with Lush products, which are mostly just fresh natural ingredients.

My face was really getting me down. I've never had acne. It's horrible to have a red and raw face and I thought it would never go.....but it has.

Also, SLEEP. It is definitely improved, but could improve a bit more. I am more often sleeping solidly for six hours, seventh hour is a bit restless. Still very occasionally have an odd night of insomnia but it's usually caused by eating too near to bedtime / having eaten sugar. I do sometimes need to get up to wee in the night, but I'm pretty sure this is also a post meno issue and one of the reasons I'm going to experiment with adding a little bit of HRT.

I've cut down the caffeine and am aiming to be off altogether from the end of April. Will then do a total month minus any sugar at all and minus caffeine. Really want to see what my actual baseline is like without any kind of stimulant. Also, I don't want to be caffeine or sugar dependent, at all.

 

Anyway guys, Happy Easter. It's the anniversary of my brother's death tomorrow, and my sister's death the following day. Am spending those days at parental home, and am going to do something that my bro and sis would have liked, on their respective days. 

 

Next week also, am going to gently and slowly try to resume running 5k. Will monitor that closely though, because my body wasn't keen on the exertion of walking long distances back in the winter....however, I think I upped the distances too fast and didn't really give my body the time it needed to make adaptations.

 

This whole process of WD has taught me how delicately balanced our bodies are, and also, how able they are to heal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Sonia009]

Hi,

Good to hear you are doing so well Sunny, you sound very positive. Best wishes for a Happy Easter and lots of cuddles to little Obi x.

[Hanna72]

Dear @sunnysideup69

I hear you about the menopause crap, I am there too. The good news is that it will settle. 
You’ve got this sunny, you are so resilient and strong, don’t let this bump throw you off balance. Slow and steady as you have so well managed will get you to your end goal 

I am rooting for you ❤️

[sunnysideup69]

On 4/4/2021 at 2:37 PM, Sonia001 said:

Hi,

Good to hear you are doing so well Sunny, you sound very positive. Best wishes for a Happy Easter and lots of cuddles to little Obi x.

Thank you @Sonia001. How are you doing? Am coming over to you thread to see how you're doing.

 

On 4/7/2021 at 1:57 PM, Hanna72 said:

Dear @sunnysideup69

I hear you about the menopause crap, I am there too. The good news is that it will settle. 
You’ve got this sunny, you are so resilient and strong, don’t let this bump throw you off balance. Slow and steady as you have so well managed will get you to your end goal 

I am rooting for you ❤️

 

Thanks @Hanna72. Glad to read you've stabilised on the reinstatement. God, what an effort, getting through WD and also menopause. Am about to write a post about it, would value your perspective.

[Erell]

Thank you for being an inspiration ☀️

[sunnysideup69]

On 4/18/2021 at 9:13 AM, Erell said:

Thank you for being an inspiration ☀️

 

As are you, my lovely.

[sunnysideup69]

Booooo.....am in a wave again. Since last Tuesday or thereabouts. Mornings are grisly, I feel better as day progresses.

 

Between the end of March and last Sunday, 11th April, I'd been eating a fair bit of sugar; easter eggs, jaffa cakes, pudding at parents', then chocolate here and there. Of course, I'm fine when I'm eating it, it's when I stop.....crash. 

 

Add in that I tried some running last week; only a little bit, but in a wave? Not a good idea.

Plus April is the one year anniversary of my siblings' deaths. I was ok for the Easter trip home, felt good actually ( but was probably comfort eating sugar.) This Thursday and Friday are the anniversaries of their funerals.....

 

....and on Thursday I have a hospital appointment, have had a tiny bit of a health scare. GP says very unlikely to be cancerous but must get it ruled out. I think it has been playing on my mind a bit, especially as it's the anniv of family deaths.

 

Anyway; I'm now sugar free since last Monday ( a week ago.) Have crashed into a wave and now will hopefully begin to pick up again. 

 

Also, it's been a month since my Covid jab and I'm intermittently shivery. Had a flu reaction to it. It went away, but then seems to come back a bit weaker and go away again.

 

Just venting peeps. I'm sure I'll feel better soon. My kitten is gorgeous. Might post a pic of him in the furry friends section.

[Sonia009]

Hi Sunny,

You said it, everything seems to be happening at once, the extra sugar effects, running, anniversary of siblings deaths, the effects of the covid jab and your recent health scare. It's not surprising this has all led to a wave. You have been there before and you have come out the other side and you will again. I know it's a horrible process until you do but you will do this.  I know what you mean about covid jab flu type symptoms coming and going, it's happening to me too. I hope all goes well with your hospital appointment and I look forward to seeing a picture of your little Obi. x

[sunnysideup69]

Wave gone, I do believe...feeling normal again today and happy. I think SUGAR BINGE + more physical exertion + sibling anniveraries + vaccine = wave.

 

It was mild in nature, but my sleep was messed up and the main symptom was exhaustion/ listlessness/ feeling 'disinterested in life'. Existential worry. Nothing new and managed to keep going.

 

I will get the second shot of Covid vaccine, feel like I know a little of what to expect now. Might make me wobble but it will be in the middle of dietary bootcamp, so won't have lots of other stress adding to it.

 

Feel as if I'm ready to start a little cut/ taper.

[mstimc]

Great news, Sunny!  Wonderful to see you in a window!

[Erell]

Happy to read you're now feeling better, sounds perfect to enjoy the Spring ☀️

I also know that things are getting easier in your country atm, which will certainly help with the loneliness feelings.

 

And the fact that you feel ready for a cut is a great sign of improvement : even if you choose to wait, it shows that you're not driven by fear anymore.

You are doing great Sunny, and deserve this, I'm so happy for you !

 

❤

[sunnysideup69]

On 4/27/2021 at 9:03 AM, Erell said:

Happy to read you're now feeling better, sounds perfect to enjoy the Spring ☀️

I also know that things are getting easier in your country atm, which will certainly help with the loneliness feelings.

 

And the fact that you feel ready for a cut is a great sign of improvement : even if you choose to wait, it shows that you're not driven by fear anymore.

You are doing great Sunny, and deserve this, I'm so happy for you !

 

❤

Thanks so much @Erell. Sending you lots of love and good wishes.

[sunnysideup69]

One week ago, I forgot to take my Venlafaxine, I took it three and a half hours late. The thing that reminded me was that I began to feel a bit spaced out and also, randomly giggly. 

 

I took it, felt okay initially, but by the afternoon I was so irritable. 

 

Felt much more balanced the next day and have not really had a wave of emotional side effects, altho sleep a bit wonky.

 

However, want to note the physical side effects from this blip. Exactly four days after the timing error, when I woke in the morning (in the dark), I noticed that I had kind of flashing lights in my peripheral vision which went off like fireworks every time I moved my eyes. Odd. As the day progressed, they disappeared. This reoccurred for a few days and has now been replaced by strange black floaters in my left eye, and also visual snow in the same eye.

 

I don't have eye damage: I've only just had an opthalmic appointment and my eyes are healthy. 

Visual snow is still around today. 

Hopefully this and floaters will fade away.

 

Noting this for future reference. Also, if these effects can be produced by one error in dosing, I feel it's a warning to taper incredibly slowly.

[sunnysideup69]

Ok, so the strange black floaters are going. Still some visual snow but it's less than it was.

 

I had a slight emotional blip for three days last weekend, too, so the error caused a little wave.

 

Am pretty much back to baseline now.

[Sonia009]

@sunnysideup69 Hi, it's good to hear your back to your baseline now, these weird symptoms come and go which just leaves you wondering why. Maybe your eye floaters were a reaction to your covid jab, others have reported the same from what I've read. I went on the Yellow Card scheme website and looked up the side effects of the astrazeneca jab that people were reporting and that's where I spotted this. The other vaccines are on there also. Anyway, hope you're still doing ok and little Obi, or maybe he's not so little anymore.😊

 

[sunnysideup69]

On 5/17/2021 at 7:43 PM, Sonia001 said:

@sunnysideup69 Hi, it's good to hear your back to your baseline now, these weird symptoms come and go which just leaves you wondering why. Maybe your eye floaters were a reaction to your covid jab, others have reported the same from what I've read. 😊

 

Hi @Sonia001, oh really? That's very strange. They could be, who knows what side effects this jab produces! Still going to have my second one, though. I want to be able to travel, and am anticipating needing to be vaccinated for certain things.

The fact that the eye thing started 4 days out from missed dose suggests to me it's likely to be the Venlafaxine, as it's about the time the brain notices changes in dosing. 

YOu just never know though, with all this malarkey. Was very odd.

How are you doing? Isn't it cold and wet....where the hell is Spring/ Summer!?!

 

 

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

Ok, here's an update and I'm going to add this to my signature. Any female mods who've used estrogen whilst in WD, would be grateful for any input.

 

Had a bit of a health scare. Had some post menopause bleeding, very slight, but had to go for a hospital check up to rule out cancer.

It's not cancer, thank god, but I have atrophic vaginitis ie drying of the vaginal tissue, which can cause irritation and bleeding.

 I had been noticing, not pain exactly, but discomfort. When I was walking long distances, I definitely felt uncomfortable in that region. Also, since menopause, I've noticed needing to pee more often.......gee, we women are lucky, eh!?

 

I'm taking Vagifem, which is a topical estrogen treatment. Gotta take it every day for two weeks and then drop to twice a week as maintenance dose.

 

I tried to start it last weekend but then freaked out. I know it's supposed to be only topical, but SOME estrogen is bound to enter the system and I'm a little afraid of causing wobbles. However, the other choice seems to be living with a bit of soreness/ dryness, which isn't very nice either.

 

So, I restarted last night. Will keep a note of any waviness. Hoping it will just all iron out ....wondering if anyone else had an experience of this to share?

[Hanna72]

Hi @sunnysideup69

Just wanted to pop in and share some information on the menopause thing. Not that I am taking hormones but I have been doing a lot of reading on the subject, and find myself not knowing which symptoms are do to menopause or wd. It is weird that a lot of women in menopause are experiencing similar symptoms to those of us here due to withdrawals. 
I have read that during menopause the nervous system goes through a lot of changes so that might be the reason why. 
There is a fb group called support group for menopause, in there is huge amount of information and women share their tips and tricks. Also dr Louise Newton is a menopause dr and she has an Instagram account and also loads of information on YouTube. 
 

8 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

It's not cancer, thank god

That’s great news, glad you had it checked out.

There was a documentary on channel 4 I believe in the UK called: sex myths and the menopause with Davina McCall which I haven’t seen yet but looks informing.

There is finally a shift happening slowly in healthcare and acknowledgement of how many women suffer during this period in their life. Doctors have been clueless for years. And not surprisingly women have been subscribed antidepressants for their symptoms, when they in fact suffer due to hormone drops and decrease. That’s sad. 
 

Anyway wanted to share this with you, have a good one dear Sunny. 

 

 

[Sonia009]

Hi Sunny, so happy for you that things turned out ok, what a nightmare!  I haven't used oestrogen so can't comment on that sorry. It's just a thought but have you looked up the Yellow Card Scheme, there's a link there to covid 19 vaccines adverse reactions (vaccine analysis print). There have been some reports, not many, of blood in urine and frequency of urine. I know I've been getting strange symptoms that have come and gone. Maybe totally unrelated of course but it makes an interesting read in any case. Sending best wishes Sunny,  hope you feel better soon x😊. 

[Longroadhome]

Hi @sunnysideup69

Hope everything is settling down now. 
Probably just a hiccup. 
Hanna is right there was a documentary with Davina regarding menopause and it was very good. Channel 4 . You may be able to get it on catch up. 
How are things generally with you have you started your taper ? 
and did you get the kitten? 
 

[sunnysideup69]

Hello @Hanna72, @Sonia001 and @Longroadhome,

How are you all? I am feeling really well! Not posting much these days because I'm not tapering, yet.

 

It's in the pipeline, though. 

Good news with the topical estrogen, it's helping me a lot. I saw that fantastic documentary with Davina, it was really very good. Not quite sure about taking systemic estrogen, yet. Think I might like to taper a bit first.

 

My mood is pretty stable and I have rediscovered feeling happy. Life's good. My kitten is now four and a half months old and is a delight!

 

My last wave was back in April. I'm stable and my waves are very mild, but I'd like to have three wave free months before I make any changes. Once I've had that, am gonna talk to my GP about switching to brand name Effexor (rather than generic Venlafaxine.) Purely because I want to do the bead tapering method.

 

I'm training for a walking half marathon the first weekend of September, so I wont be making any changes before then, anyway.....

 

Overall feeling content and happy - wow, it's so nice to be able to post that! Such a difference from when I landed here two years ago, by which time I'd already been suffering for a year.

 

Sending you all lots of love xxxxx

[mstimc]

Wonderful post, Sunny!  I hope you continue to see improvement!