Lucy1983 Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 Oh no! I was hoping you are feeling amazing! So sorry to hear about the cold affecting you so poorly:( It does suck!!! I pray you feel better soon❤️ Lucy 1 Paxil 07/1997 - 10/1998 Quit CT Neurontin, topamax, trazadone, ssri AD (don't remember which one) 12/1998 - 06/1999 CT everything Eflexor , Xanax 04/2000 -08/2000 CT ***01/2008-05/2013 on/off lexapro, lamictal, seroquel, saphris, pristiq Start/Stop CT at intervals Zoloft 200 mg 07/2013 WD 04/3/20 - 04/8/20 Quit Seroquel 800 mg 07/2013 2013 *400 mg 07/2019 *** WD 04/15/2020 - 06/19/20 Quit Ambien 10 mg 07/2013 WD 5 mg 04/29/2020, 2.5 mg 12/24/20, 1.66 mg 01/21/2021, 1.25 mg 02/16/2021 *** 02/22/2021 Quit Xanax 2 mg prn 07/2013 - 04/23/20 Quit CT Lamictal 150 mg 07/2013 WD 05/06/20 -06/11/2020 Quit Propranolol 03/21/2020 - 04/20/2020 Quit CT Hydroxyzine 12/14/2020 - 12/27/20 Quit Allegra 24 hr 01/11/21 Flonase Nasal Spray 01/11/21 Magnesium Glycinate 100mg x3 daily D3 5000iu daily Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted December 20, 2020 Author Share Posted December 20, 2020 Hey guys,☀️ This wave got me real good, scared out of my mind. But I just had a thought... when it is done and I feel good again I MUST find ways to remember that victory for the next time I am down. No feeling nor sensation is forever. I am cheering myself on but this wave made me cry big time. July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted December 22, 2020 Author Share Posted December 22, 2020 Hey guys, Still in a wave, week 2nd. I must admit it is not as intense physiclly as before. Low body vibration is almost constant. Tightening of the scalp and some tension on top of my head. Some nausea. Emotionally, doom and despair. Cried all day yesterday and this morning. I take this herbal drops from time to time. Mostly during waves once or twice a day. Didn’t take any today. Drops contain : 10% lavandulae, 30% lupuli, 30% melissae, 30% valerianae). I am torn now. Not sure if it helps or otherwise... Mornings I take: 2000mg Omega3, 1000mg vitamin C (with 25 mg rose hips), 5mg Zink & 200mg Magnesium Citrate... Mid day I take: 1000mg Omega3, 1000mg vitamin C (with 25 mg rose hips) & 200 mg Magnesium Citrate... Before bed I take something only if I forgot it during the day. Please feel free to give me suggestions if you have any. July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
mva96 Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 Hey Kingfisher, Just like you, i'm withdrawing from escitalopram, and i am also in a wave with intense doom, crying spells and despair, as well as nausea 😓 I find going out for short walks and listening to some calm music helps sometimes. But really we just have to tolerate it as best as we can which is so hard at times. Just want you to know i'm in similar place with you and hoping we both get better soon! Started Lexapro 5mg Mid March 2020 Came off Completely September 2020 Hospitalised september 2021 Slowly worked up to 50mg lamictal and 60mg Prozac reduced to 20mg Prozac September 2021 Holding 20mg Prozac and 50mg Lamictal for a good while to stabilise. November 2021 Link to comment
Lucy1983 Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 So sorry that you are having a tough time. The doom and despair feelings are terrible!!! It is important to realize the feelings are WD and are temporary You will get better❤️❤️❤️ 1 Paxil 07/1997 - 10/1998 Quit CT Neurontin, topamax, trazadone, ssri AD (don't remember which one) 12/1998 - 06/1999 CT everything Eflexor , Xanax 04/2000 -08/2000 CT ***01/2008-05/2013 on/off lexapro, lamictal, seroquel, saphris, pristiq Start/Stop CT at intervals Zoloft 200 mg 07/2013 WD 04/3/20 - 04/8/20 Quit Seroquel 800 mg 07/2013 2013 *400 mg 07/2019 *** WD 04/15/2020 - 06/19/20 Quit Ambien 10 mg 07/2013 WD 5 mg 04/29/2020, 2.5 mg 12/24/20, 1.66 mg 01/21/2021, 1.25 mg 02/16/2021 *** 02/22/2021 Quit Xanax 2 mg prn 07/2013 - 04/23/20 Quit CT Lamictal 150 mg 07/2013 WD 05/06/20 -06/11/2020 Quit Propranolol 03/21/2020 - 04/20/2020 Quit CT Hydroxyzine 12/14/2020 - 12/27/20 Quit Allegra 24 hr 01/11/21 Flonase Nasal Spray 01/11/21 Magnesium Glycinate 100mg x3 daily D3 5000iu daily Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted December 22, 2020 Author Share Posted December 22, 2020 ☀️Hey @mva96 Thanks for reaching out👋🏻 So sorry you have to go thru this too. It is so surreal dealing with WD emotions... such intense fear and doom with little or no bases in reality, yet SO real to us. 13 minutes ago, mva96 said: But really we just have to tolerate it as best as we can which is so hard at times. So true... it comes down to that. Some days or weeks are just pure torture😖 I started working from home recently and that disrupted my daily walks, but I have to do better, reorganize. I am trying to get back to the office but so far I am allowed to do that 2 days per week. I used time before and after work to walk and listen to some podcasts. Miss that routine. 20 minutes ago, mva96 said: Just want you to know i'm in similar place with you and hoping we both get better soon! I hope so too! I had some very good weeks, I am holding on to that. Please keep in touch👋🏻 1 July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted December 22, 2020 Author Share Posted December 22, 2020 Dearest friend@Lucy1983 Thank you for being here and always supporting me😊 I truly don’t know how I would’ve done this journey without you❤️ July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Lucy1983 Posted December 25, 2020 Share Posted December 25, 2020 Hi Kingfisher. I hope you are feeling better so can enjoy Christmas morning! You are a brave trooper so I know you will get past this. Be extra kind to yourself and also be patient with yourself. I am starting my Ambien taper tonight. I really dread it but it has to get done. Wish me luck with success!!! WE are in this mess together till the end💓 Lucy 1 Paxil 07/1997 - 10/1998 Quit CT Neurontin, topamax, trazadone, ssri AD (don't remember which one) 12/1998 - 06/1999 CT everything Eflexor , Xanax 04/2000 -08/2000 CT ***01/2008-05/2013 on/off lexapro, lamictal, seroquel, saphris, pristiq Start/Stop CT at intervals Zoloft 200 mg 07/2013 WD 04/3/20 - 04/8/20 Quit Seroquel 800 mg 07/2013 2013 *400 mg 07/2019 *** WD 04/15/2020 - 06/19/20 Quit Ambien 10 mg 07/2013 WD 5 mg 04/29/2020, 2.5 mg 12/24/20, 1.66 mg 01/21/2021, 1.25 mg 02/16/2021 *** 02/22/2021 Quit Xanax 2 mg prn 07/2013 - 04/23/20 Quit CT Lamictal 150 mg 07/2013 WD 05/06/20 -06/11/2020 Quit Propranolol 03/21/2020 - 04/20/2020 Quit CT Hydroxyzine 12/14/2020 - 12/27/20 Quit Allegra 24 hr 01/11/21 Flonase Nasal Spray 01/11/21 Magnesium Glycinate 100mg x3 daily D3 5000iu daily Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted December 25, 2020 Author Share Posted December 25, 2020 @Lucy1983 I must admit that wave lessened in intensity but not enough for me to feel peace. 5 hours ago, Lucy1983 said: You are a brave trooper so I know you will get past this. Be extra kind to yourself and also be patient with yourself. THIS means a lot.❤️There is no other way but to fight.😖 5 hours ago, Lucy1983 said: I am starting my Ambien taper tonight. I really dread it but it has to get done. Wish me luck with success!!! WE are in this mess together till the end💓 I am here Lucy. You are one of the bravest people I know.🌻 You can do it! Many of people before us made it. Keep us posted so we can support you☀️ 1 July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Manati Posted December 25, 2020 Share Posted December 25, 2020 Dear Kingfisher86 ♥️, oh wow I just read through your thread and just had to comment, since our stories are SO similar! Even though I have 'accidentially' (naively/impatently) tapered off Effexor/Venlafaxin too quickly (cold turkey from 33mg to zero), instead of Lexapro. But I think they work in a fairly similar way. Just like you, I suffered from terrible physical symptoms for a bit more than the first 2 weeks, that eventually faded into broader, psychological symptoms. I even share your particular fear of being old and all alone, a thought that haunts me during my nightly/early morning states of terror. I am just beyond the 3-months mark, and like you, hesitating to try and reinstate the Effexor. My nervous system feels just too raw! It worries me a bit that, even though you're 2 months ahead of me regarding your last dose, you're still struggling.. I keep my fingers crossed for you to get well really soon, please know that you have a fellow sufferer here going through the same **** with you. I send you a big hug, with all my best wishes and Merry Christmas! Fluoxetine (Prozac) (25mg?) from December 2002 - November 2005 for anxiety/depression Effexor (Venlafaxine) Retard (75mg) due to Panic attacks from November 2005 until around May 2020 when I started tapering off from 75mg to about 33mg in September. Accidentially missed a dose and naively went cold turkey from around 33mg to zero on 26th of September. Hell broke loose in early December. 25th December: Reinstated Venlafaxine with one bead (0.3/0.4mg) in the evening, proceeding with two beads (0.7/0.8mg) since 5th January: 3 beads of Venlafaxine daily and nothing else except fish oil and magnesium. No changes in daily routine 15th January - 17th January: 4 beads of Venlafaxine since 18th January: back to 3 beads of Venlafaxine due to extreme agitation, introduced Ashwaghanda supplement. Since 23. January: introduced Lyrica to help with sleep/jerks keeping me awake: updosed from 4mg to 8mg. Since February: 700mg Valerian and 2mg Melatonin for sleep March: tapering Lyrica again due to side effects. April: down to 2 beads of Venlafaxine 17th October: Off everything. Braindead, apathetic/anhedonic Zombie. Link to comment
Mentor Leila Posted December 26, 2020 Mentor Share Posted December 26, 2020 Dear @Kingfisher86, I'm sorry you are struggling in a wave... I know how difficult it is expecially to deal with the thoughts of anxiety or fear that this our condition will not resolve soon. But you are a great attitude and I'm sure you can face all these issues! Keep on and update us! Leila 2 July 2015: the 20mg citalopram for great stress begins After two years I start tapering (slow but without medical advice) and I guess wrongly. First up to 10 mg, then 5 mg and 2 mg (liquid solution) and skips January 2020 (I don't remember exactly the day): off citalopram (last dose 2mg). June 2020: adrenal crash. The beginning of Hell on Earth Current supplement: - saffron pill (20 mg) + vit. E, omega 3 (EPA + DHA) 2g, magnesium bisglycinate 300 mg, iron , vitamin D3 (2500ui) +K7 (50 ui), vitamin C (1g) + quercitin (25 mg), theanine (as necessary). Try meditating / mindfulness, walking every day, CBT/ACT, massage. "E quindi uscimmo a riveder le stelle" ("And so we went out to see the stars again") (Dante Alighieri, Divine Comedy , Inferno, XXXIV, 139) Link to comment
mva96 Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 Keep going @Kingfisher86! We will get there in the end 😁 The waves will weaken as time passes 1 Started Lexapro 5mg Mid March 2020 Came off Completely September 2020 Hospitalised september 2021 Slowly worked up to 50mg lamictal and 60mg Prozac reduced to 20mg Prozac September 2021 Holding 20mg Prozac and 50mg Lamictal for a good while to stabilise. November 2021 Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted December 28, 2020 Author Share Posted December 28, 2020 @Manati Hi!🌻 I am really sorry I didn’t see your comment earlier. I am glad I saw it now.😀 Welcome to SA! People here have a lot of experiance to help you make good decisions. As you know we are all so different when it comes to these drugs. Some have easier time, some harder times but in the end people recover. It is about acceptance and endurance. Day by day. ☀️🌼 In my case, trust me, it got a lot easier with time. Yes I am strugguling now but it is nowhere near to what it was in the begining. There are good times. The reason why I did not reinstate was that WD symptoms I was going through were tolerable. That doesn’t mean it wasnt hard😖 Ask questons on your thread, inform yourself and make decision. It is not an easy one, I know. On 12/25/2020 at 6:25 PM, Manati said: I even share your particular fear of being old and all alone, a thought that haunts me during my nightly/early morning states of terror. It is not as intense as before. It gets better.😅I even have moments when I am free of fear now. Many of these feeling are bc WD syndrome. It will go away in time. Do you have supportive friends and family to whom you can share these feelings? I have couple of non judgemental friends who I text whenever I feel scared. I go to therapy as well! I found afordable one. I also listen to podcasts about CBT therapy. Also a clean diet can help A LOT with anxiety. You might be doing it already but I just wanted to put that out there. Please write whenever you need support...🌻 July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Manati Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 Dear Kingfisher86, thank you SO MUCH for your kind words of encouragement and support. I it is SO difficult to decide on what to do in such a situation. I am trying to reinstate now, as 'manymoretodays' advised me to do so. I have a very good support network, also my boyfriend is by my side day and night, I can wake him up all the time and he is always loving and patient with me and the state I'm in. Still, at this stage, everything is just horrible and feels like a neverending nightmare. I feel the entire experience is traumatising me, especially as I don't know about the perspective of things. I'm so glad for you to feel better finally, it makes me wonder if I should have tryed to pull through a bit longer.. Your signature says your were taking the Escitalopram for about 3 years - I have been on Venlafaxine for 15 years, so I am just worried that the length of intake might affect the WD duraction in a bad way. I have reinstated with 0.8mg since yesterday, so far I can't tell if my terrible last night was due or despite that. Please, keep your fingers crossed for me - those nightly states are so horrible that I feel I can't bear them much longer. And thank you again so much for your caring response. 💓 1 Fluoxetine (Prozac) (25mg?) from December 2002 - November 2005 for anxiety/depression Effexor (Venlafaxine) Retard (75mg) due to Panic attacks from November 2005 until around May 2020 when I started tapering off from 75mg to about 33mg in September. Accidentially missed a dose and naively went cold turkey from around 33mg to zero on 26th of September. Hell broke loose in early December. 25th December: Reinstated Venlafaxine with one bead (0.3/0.4mg) in the evening, proceeding with two beads (0.7/0.8mg) since 5th January: 3 beads of Venlafaxine daily and nothing else except fish oil and magnesium. No changes in daily routine 15th January - 17th January: 4 beads of Venlafaxine since 18th January: back to 3 beads of Venlafaxine due to extreme agitation, introduced Ashwaghanda supplement. Since 23. January: introduced Lyrica to help with sleep/jerks keeping me awake: updosed from 4mg to 8mg. Since February: 700mg Valerian and 2mg Melatonin for sleep March: tapering Lyrica again due to side effects. April: down to 2 beads of Venlafaxine 17th October: Off everything. Braindead, apathetic/anhedonic Zombie. Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted December 28, 2020 Author Share Posted December 28, 2020 5 hours ago, Manati said: Your signature says your were taking the Escitalopram for about 3 years - I have been on Venlafaxine for 15 years, so I am just worried that the length of intake might affect the WD duraction in a bad way. It could be a factor but it doesn’t have to be. It doesn’t have to be bad for you. There is no way to know how things will play out. And this might be a good thing bc you can focus on one day at the time. It is very important not to make up the worst case scenarios in our heads. There are many people who had been on a drug far longer then me or far less, and everybody has/had a different experiance. I am trying to think of my situation as a project. It will take some time. I will have some bad days, everybody has them, but also I will have some good days. This journey is not linear but one thing is for sure: with time your are healing more and more, no matter what comes your way. We just need to accept the fact that we will have to work on this “project” for some time. 😅 and remember there will be good times along the way. 5 hours ago, Manati said: I have a very good support network, also my boyfriend is by my side day and night, I can wake him up all the time and he is always loving and patient with me and the state I'm in. This is amazing! I am so happy for you. Lean into that when things get rough. When things are good just enjoy your family🌻 5 hours ago, Manati said: I have reinstated with 0.8mg since yesterday, so far I can't tell if my terrible last night was due or despite that. Now that you made a decision stick with it and give it time to see what it does for you.🌼 Ask mods questions and please do not make any rash decisions.❤️ 5 hours ago, Manati said: Still, at this stage, everything is just horrible and feels like a neverending nightmare. I feel the entire experience is traumatising me, especially as I don't know about the perspective of things. Time is passing. Just hang on. Nothing is forever. Might feel tramatising now but once you feel better it will not matter. @Manati hugs for u! July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Manati Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 Dear Kingfisher86 💓 Thank you so much for your kind and wise words - everything you wrote is so true, it's just hard to remember in the eye of the storm. I will try and survive day by day, while sticking to the decision I made, hoping for the best. I really hope things won't get worse, like slipping into a depression under all that strain. Please keep your fingers crossed for me... I will keep updating how things are developing. Thank you so much for caring, it means a lot. Big hug!! 1 Fluoxetine (Prozac) (25mg?) from December 2002 - November 2005 for anxiety/depression Effexor (Venlafaxine) Retard (75mg) due to Panic attacks from November 2005 until around May 2020 when I started tapering off from 75mg to about 33mg in September. Accidentially missed a dose and naively went cold turkey from around 33mg to zero on 26th of September. Hell broke loose in early December. 25th December: Reinstated Venlafaxine with one bead (0.3/0.4mg) in the evening, proceeding with two beads (0.7/0.8mg) since 5th January: 3 beads of Venlafaxine daily and nothing else except fish oil and magnesium. No changes in daily routine 15th January - 17th January: 4 beads of Venlafaxine since 18th January: back to 3 beads of Venlafaxine due to extreme agitation, introduced Ashwaghanda supplement. Since 23. January: introduced Lyrica to help with sleep/jerks keeping me awake: updosed from 4mg to 8mg. Since February: 700mg Valerian and 2mg Melatonin for sleep March: tapering Lyrica again due to side effects. April: down to 2 beads of Venlafaxine 17th October: Off everything. Braindead, apathetic/anhedonic Zombie. Link to comment
mva96 Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 how's it going @Kingfisher86? hope you're doing good 😃 Started Lexapro 5mg Mid March 2020 Came off Completely September 2020 Hospitalised september 2021 Slowly worked up to 50mg lamictal and 60mg Prozac reduced to 20mg Prozac September 2021 Holding 20mg Prozac and 50mg Lamictal for a good while to stabilise. November 2021 Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted January 10, 2021 Author Share Posted January 10, 2021 @mva96Hi🙋🏻♀️ I’ve been pretty good for the last two weeks! No major physical or emotional pain. I started studying for something I’ve always wanted to do, and I adopted a dog!🐶 It is so weird, when I feel good I cannot imagine ever feeling bad and vice versa. I have little moments of some residual fear creep up on me during good days, but either they leave me or I bring myself back from that state by reasoning. How are you? Did you reinstate? I scrolled down your thread a bit... Thanks for checking up on me😀 1 July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
mva96 Posted January 10, 2021 Share Posted January 10, 2021 @Kingfisher86I am very happy to hear that, your new dog is adorable 😂 I'm ok thanks, not great but definitely been worse. I decided not to reinstate, hopefully i don't regret it! 1 Started Lexapro 5mg Mid March 2020 Came off Completely September 2020 Hospitalised september 2021 Slowly worked up to 50mg lamictal and 60mg Prozac reduced to 20mg Prozac September 2021 Holding 20mg Prozac and 50mg Lamictal for a good while to stabilise. November 2021 Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted January 11, 2021 Author Share Posted January 11, 2021 @mva96 About reinstating... I was going back and forth too. But I was told if my symptoms are manageable there might not be a need for it. I am glad I did not reinstate. There were some really though times but I believed it would be better. It is easy to speak now but... yeah. 🙋🏻♀️🐶 July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Lucy1983 Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 Hi Kingfisher. Your new baby is precious!!!🐶 So happy that you are pursuing a dream with your new studies! I am excited about your life🥰 I am good except for these darn allergies. They have had me very sick for 2 weeks but am feeling better today. So far:) Lucy Paxil 07/1997 - 10/1998 Quit CT Neurontin, topamax, trazadone, ssri AD (don't remember which one) 12/1998 - 06/1999 CT everything Eflexor , Xanax 04/2000 -08/2000 CT ***01/2008-05/2013 on/off lexapro, lamictal, seroquel, saphris, pristiq Start/Stop CT at intervals Zoloft 200 mg 07/2013 WD 04/3/20 - 04/8/20 Quit Seroquel 800 mg 07/2013 2013 *400 mg 07/2019 *** WD 04/15/2020 - 06/19/20 Quit Ambien 10 mg 07/2013 WD 5 mg 04/29/2020, 2.5 mg 12/24/20, 1.66 mg 01/21/2021, 1.25 mg 02/16/2021 *** 02/22/2021 Quit Xanax 2 mg prn 07/2013 - 04/23/20 Quit CT Lamictal 150 mg 07/2013 WD 05/06/20 -06/11/2020 Quit Propranolol 03/21/2020 - 04/20/2020 Quit CT Hydroxyzine 12/14/2020 - 12/27/20 Quit Allegra 24 hr 01/11/21 Flonase Nasal Spray 01/11/21 Magnesium Glycinate 100mg x3 daily D3 5000iu daily Link to comment
Lucy1983 Posted January 21, 2021 Share Posted January 21, 2021 Hi how are you doing? Paxil 07/1997 - 10/1998 Quit CT Neurontin, topamax, trazadone, ssri AD (don't remember which one) 12/1998 - 06/1999 CT everything Eflexor , Xanax 04/2000 -08/2000 CT ***01/2008-05/2013 on/off lexapro, lamictal, seroquel, saphris, pristiq Start/Stop CT at intervals Zoloft 200 mg 07/2013 WD 04/3/20 - 04/8/20 Quit Seroquel 800 mg 07/2013 2013 *400 mg 07/2019 *** WD 04/15/2020 - 06/19/20 Quit Ambien 10 mg 07/2013 WD 5 mg 04/29/2020, 2.5 mg 12/24/20, 1.66 mg 01/21/2021, 1.25 mg 02/16/2021 *** 02/22/2021 Quit Xanax 2 mg prn 07/2013 - 04/23/20 Quit CT Lamictal 150 mg 07/2013 WD 05/06/20 -06/11/2020 Quit Propranolol 03/21/2020 - 04/20/2020 Quit CT Hydroxyzine 12/14/2020 - 12/27/20 Quit Allegra 24 hr 01/11/21 Flonase Nasal Spray 01/11/21 Magnesium Glycinate 100mg x3 daily D3 5000iu daily Link to comment
Mentor Yesyes123 Posted January 28, 2021 Mentor Share Posted January 28, 2021 @Kingfisher86how are you now? Hope you are doing great! - Escitalopram 10mg from ages 15 - 21 - Severe crash after 4 month taper to 0 - Reinstated, stabilized, slowly tapering. "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Hellen Keller I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted January 28, 2021 Author Share Posted January 28, 2021 @Lucy1983 @Yesyes123 @Leila Hi friends💫 I am doing ok:) I am trying to be busy, so I am offline a lot. As you might know from my previous posts, 2 weeks around my period I crash. When I say crash it is 90% mood wise with little nausea. Just a lot of fear. I realize it is normal bc of the changing hormones but my NS is still little sensitive so it blows it out of proportions😅 I must adimit it is not as bad as before! So healing is right on track. Half of the month I am feeling pretty good like 75% of my best. 1st of Feb. it will be 6 months since I went completly off 5mg lex. And it will be 14 yrs since my dad died. I relized that my anxiety disorder strated back then. It was not as prominent from the beginning but I didn’t work on it so it go out of hand. Still I see progress there as well. I am more self aware when I get lost to fear. As I heal more, I do not froget completly what it feels like to be well😀I can catch myself in despair and being able to recall what it feels to be well, meaning bad will not last forever. I started studying online something I always wanted to do. It doesn’t take up a lot of my time but I am hoping it helps my brain be busy and healthier. There are days when I do not have will to study but that is ok. p.s. Puppy I got helps a lot! I go out of the apt. at least 4 times for him to do his business... he makes me laugh and takes attention from me🥰 ✨Hope you guys are doing better!✨ Please let me know! 1 July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted January 28, 2021 Author Share Posted January 28, 2021 Just wanted to add, even when I don’t feel well, it isn’t as bad as in previous months. Even reasons might not be directly related to WD. Overall, things are getting better. I could have not imagined that there will be any improvements at all. 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻 July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Mentor Leila Posted February 1, 2021 Mentor Share Posted February 1, 2021 Dear @Kingfisher86! Thanks for your kind words on my thread! I'm so happy that you feel better! Keep up the good work you are doing! It's beautiful that you had some new goals! I'm sure that it will help you to become the person you want to be! And I'm also sure wound of traumas that unfortunatly life reserves us little by little will be healed! Your puppy is wonderful and I imagine a good mate! Continue to update us! Hugs&affect, Leila 1 July 2015: the 20mg citalopram for great stress begins After two years I start tapering (slow but without medical advice) and I guess wrongly. First up to 10 mg, then 5 mg and 2 mg (liquid solution) and skips January 2020 (I don't remember exactly the day): off citalopram (last dose 2mg). June 2020: adrenal crash. The beginning of Hell on Earth Current supplement: - saffron pill (20 mg) + vit. E, omega 3 (EPA + DHA) 2g, magnesium bisglycinate 300 mg, iron , vitamin D3 (2500ui) +K7 (50 ui), vitamin C (1g) + quercitin (25 mg), theanine (as necessary). Try meditating / mindfulness, walking every day, CBT/ACT, massage. "E quindi uscimmo a riveder le stelle" ("And so we went out to see the stars again") (Dante Alighieri, Divine Comedy , Inferno, XXXIV, 139) Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted February 4, 2021 Author Share Posted February 4, 2021 (edited) Hi guys💫 So looking in retrospect, January proved to be a wave month. It wasn’t as harsh as waves before, and I did have small windows. I am just trying to put things into perspective so I don’t dismiss all the progress. I think I am just surprised that it has lasted this long in milder form. What is physiclly distinct about it is tightening of the scalp and some aches/tension in my upper back. I think that is the one of few physical symptoms that stays with me when in a wave. My mind must be reminded with it of the acute phase of WD so my mind goes downspiral. I think this emotional battle is making me so tired. Feeling like there is no purpose in life is beyond scary. In spite of everything, I am able to continue working/studing/exercising/caring for my dog. What is intresting to me is that I keep having vivid flashbacks (right before falling asleep & while dreaming) into past where I sometimes even feel comforted. Like I can really feel what it was like back then to an emplified level. Then I can reason better about past when awake. I try telling myself that the length of the wave equals great improvement coming my way. I am wondering on what part of the brain construction was done considering those vivid flashback I did not have before... Please feel free to write me about your 5th, 6th or even 7th month WD experiance. I would appreciate it! It really helps me feel better when journaling here. Thanks for that💫 Hope everyone is doing better⭐️ Edited February 4, 2021 by Kingfisher86 July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
mva96 Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 Hello @Kingfisher86 This journey we are on is incredibly difficult. We don't know when it will end, or what the journey will look like. All we know is one day, it will end. I have been in a 'window' for the past month. I'm in my 6th month now. It hasn't been a window where i feel really good or happy, just that the very intense symptoms have gone away. I try to keep in my mind that i will likely hit another wave soon. I think one of the hardest parts of withdrawal is how the milder symptoms sneakily change the way we see the world and our future. It puts this dark filter over everything and makes us believe everything is hopeless. This is not your perception of reality, it is a product of the withdrawal, try to remember that no matter how real it feels. You're doing great. Keep moving forward, and make sure that new dog of yours keeps you company when you're feeling sad 🐕 Started Lexapro 5mg Mid March 2020 Came off Completely September 2020 Hospitalised september 2021 Slowly worked up to 50mg lamictal and 60mg Prozac reduced to 20mg Prozac September 2021 Holding 20mg Prozac and 50mg Lamictal for a good while to stabilise. November 2021 Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted February 4, 2021 Author Share Posted February 4, 2021 6 hours ago, mva96 said: It puts this dark filter over everything and makes us believe everything is hopeless. This is not your perception of reality, it is a product of the withdrawal, try to remember that no matter how real it feels. This is a great description and such a good reminder. I will be re-reading this whenever I feel low💫 6 hours ago, mva96 said: You're doing great. Keep moving forward, and make sure that new dog of yours keeps you company when you're feeling sad 🐕 Thanks😀 you are doing well yourself. Puppy is so silly and he brings me back in the present moment whenever my mind goes dark places.🐶 6 hours ago, mva96 said: have been in a 'window' for the past month. I'm in my 6th month now. It hasn't been a window where i feel really good or happy, just that the very intense symptoms have gone away. I try to keep in my mind that i will likely hit another wave soon. It isn’t a bad place to be but it isn’t the best either😕 One day waves will end. Lets hope it is soon☀️ Thanks for being such a good SA friend @mva96 July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted February 12, 2021 Author Share Posted February 12, 2021 *note to self and you: A rough patch doesn’t erase progress I’ve made. More likely, it is just life amplfied by withdrawal. Or it’s just pure WD. Hey guys, Checking in. I just had horrific night last night. My brain dug out all of the past important decisions only to make me regret them. At this moment I feel as if I didn’t have any happy past, like I was in a coma for years. Even though I was happy during the past events, brain is struggling make that emotional connection. All is bleak in my head and self-soothing is replaced with self-hatered. I never knew things can be this dark. Hopefully, it doesn’t last long. July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
mva96 Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 @Kingfisher86 Sorry to hear you're having a tough night. I can relate to what your experiencing. In WD i have regularly found myself beating myself up over past decisions, comparing myself to others and telling myself what a failure i am. The waves are so tough, as whilst we are in them we forget everything else and can only focus on that feeling. When they end, its like waking up from a dream. Keep going. 2 Started Lexapro 5mg Mid March 2020 Came off Completely September 2020 Hospitalised september 2021 Slowly worked up to 50mg lamictal and 60mg Prozac reduced to 20mg Prozac September 2021 Holding 20mg Prozac and 50mg Lamictal for a good while to stabilise. November 2021 Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted February 26, 2021 Author Share Posted February 26, 2021 @mva96 Thanks for putting some of my feelings in words. On 2/18/2021 at 3:49 PM, mva96 said: beating myself up over past decisions, comparing myself to others and telling myself what a failure i am. Like everything good I ever did never existed. Terrible feeling. On 2/18/2021 at 3:49 PM, mva96 said: The waves are so tough, as whilst we are in them we forget everything else and can only focus on that feeling. When they end, its like waking up from a dream. So so true. I am having a hard time but I think is just my inflexible thinking paired with WD. Even without wd I think I would have to face certain things and feel some pain. 1 July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted March 10, 2021 Author Share Posted March 10, 2021 Hi friends, Just wanted to check in.🙋🏻♀️ Overall I am feeling ok. 📌I only have one physical symptom: tightening of the scalp muscles. I woke up in the middle of the night and the back of my head was tighten like somebody was pulling my hair back in a ponytail. It is just annoying and a trigger for emotional reacton. 📌Emotionally, it is better but still hard. Thoughts of complete lack of purpose and death seem like a constant. I just learnt to ignore them. For some brief moments I feel like everything is alright an peace comes over me. 📌My faith was an anchor to me during though times in life. But in WD I feel like my brain cut me off from that support because I felt so distant from my beliefs and my feelings toward my faith were numb. Working on it to make it better. 📌March is the 8th month off Lex for me. I sleep and eat well. I exercise regulary, nothing too intense. I walk my dog. Take supplements. Have therapy sessions twice a week. Please, if you have time, let me know if you find yourselves in any of my words. It feels good knowing we are not alone and somebody overcame this. July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Johni Posted March 10, 2021 Share Posted March 10, 2021 Hello my friend. @Kingfisher86 I'm glad you're doing well. ignoring it is a good idea, although sometimes difficult to implement. I read that you go to therapy 2 times a week. to the same therapist? many more successes along the way 2023.01.27 1,6 mg 2023.01.29 1,5 mg 2023.02.27 1,35 mg 2023.03.30 1,2 mg 2023.04.18 1,1 mg 04,26 1,05 mg 2023.01.26 1,05 mg 2023.02.27 .27 .20. .21 0,8 mg 2023.07.14 0,65 mg 2023.08.20 0,45 mg 2023.09.20 0,25 mg 2023.11.14 000000000!!!!! Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted March 10, 2021 Author Share Posted March 10, 2021 2 hours ago, Johni said: although sometimes difficult to implement. @JohniSo difficult. I am not successfull all the time. I just think I get sick from being sick from worry, and I let go. 2 hours ago, Johni said: I read that you go to therapy 2 times a week. to the same therapist? Yes. We do our sessions online for 1 hr and 30 min. She is with me from the begining of WD. July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Johni Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 my respect neighbor. I wonder if you are? My psychologist has been with me since the beginning of wd. I tried to get into a cbt therapist last week but he said he wouldn’t take it until I finished the previous therapy. I’ll tell you honestly I don’t really see the positive benefits of conversational therapy. Endurance 2023.01.27 1,6 mg 2023.01.29 1,5 mg 2023.02.27 1,35 mg 2023.03.30 1,2 mg 2023.04.18 1,1 mg 04,26 1,05 mg 2023.01.26 1,05 mg 2023.02.27 .27 .20. .21 0,8 mg 2023.07.14 0,65 mg 2023.08.20 0,45 mg 2023.09.20 0,25 mg 2023.11.14 000000000!!!!! Link to comment
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