Peaceout: 12 years of Zoloft and went CT and then had major breakdown

[Peaceout]

Had been on Zoloft for 12 years and felt great. Didn’t know anything about tapering off them and just decided to stop one day as I was feeling great with life. A week later I had a very stressful event at work happen and all of a sudden I started having massive panic attacks. Went to my Doctor and told him I thought i was going crazy as I’d never really had a panic attack like these. He said I should get back on the Zoloft and wrote me a couple of scripts for Valium to help.

 

Was only suppose to have the Valium once a day for a week. Never had Valium before and after the first full tablet, slept like a baby and felt good. So I started drinking alcohol heavily every afternoon and then having Valium every night so I could pass out. Did this every night for about a month and started to notice that I needed more Valium to get the same result and sleep right though. Googled why i would need to up the dose and found a lot of articles on the dangers of abusing Benzo’s.

 

Scared me so I stop straight away. About 24hrs later I was having Crippling panic attacks far worse then the initial ones and they were constant for days and days... Didn’t sleep for 10 days straight. Torture.. Ive never really been super depressed in the past just had a bit of anxiety and would lose my temper from it, but since I went cold turkey from the Zoloft then the Valium (forgot to add I stopped Alcohol straight up as well and I’ve been drinking heavily for 20years) I have become super depressed, had very depressing thoughts and just in general **** thoughts all day since I went cold turkey 3months ago. Feeling like **** 24/7 isn’t fun.  

 

Been back on Zoloft now at 100mg for roughly 3 months since the break down and still not feeling better. Constantly depressed and even have suicidal thoughts sometimes and struggle everyday at work with just hating life. I now know that abusing the Valium and alcohol was the worst thing I could’ve done, as adding that to the Cold Turkey of Zoloft has just made things a lot worse then they all ready were.

Edited January 24, 2021 by Shep
name to title (MMT), removed formatting and added spacing for readability (Shep)

[Shep]

Hi, Peaceout.

 

Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants.

 

On 1/20/2021 at 5:07 AM, Peaceout said:

Been back on Zoloft now at 100mg for roughly 3 months since the break down and still not feeling better. Constantly depressed and even have suicidal thoughts sometimes and struggle everyday at work with just hating life. I now know that abusing the Valium and alcohol was the worst thing I could’ve done, as adding that to the Cold Turkey of Zoloft has just made things a lot worse then they all ready were.

 

Abusing Valium and alcohol are definitely not good, but since you survived it, it definitely isn't the worst thing you could have done. You've had a very hard journey and the doctors aren't helping you with that. But you've come to the right place to get information, and with a slow taper, you can heal from this. Please be kind to yourself. 

 

You mention being "back on" Zoloft at the 100 mg dose. Is that the dose you started out on? 

 

Please add a signature.  Include drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in the last 12-24 months. Also include supplements. This will help us give you the most accurate advice we can. 

• Any drugs and supplements prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
• This is a direct link to your signature:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

Please continue to use this thread to document your taper and to ask questions. 

[Toast]

Hi @Peaceout, 

Welcome and I am so sorry to hear of your suffering. I had a similar experience, was on Sertraline/Prozac for 15 years, then stopped, a traumatic work event occurred, and fell into a deep extreme depression. I also experienced a panic attack for the first time in my life around 2 months after stopping the Prozac. And I also can relate to struggling with work and depression during withdrawal. 

 

I am sorry you then fell into Valium and alcohol. The constant panic attacks and lack of sleep sound like complete torture. I hope you can maintain some hope. The moderators here are very knowledgeable and will be able to help. I will be rooting for you and thinking about you. ❤️

[Peaceout]

Thanks Shep. It’s seems every Doctor I deal with has no idea what is going on with any of these drugs. I had done a fair bit of reading after what I call my “full melt down” happened and said to him I need to taper of this Zoloft and his response was he thought a 2 week taper would have been sufficient enough. I explained all the things I’d been reading about anti depressants his response was that he thought it would be best to up my dosage from 50mg which I had been on for 12 years before the melt down,  to 100mg a day once reinstating and that I would probably be on this for the rest of my life.

 

After joining this group a week ago and read a lot of people’s stories, I’ve read a lot about when reinstating that it should be done at the same dose or lower, whereas my GP has doubled my daily intake. Since I reinstated 3 months ago my emotions and feelings of hopelessness, extreme depression and constant fear about my future and also having the occasional suicidal thoughts, have been with me everyday. After reading about reinstating and no real help from my psychologist I’ve gone from 100mg back to my original dose of 50mg 3 days ago. Haven’t really noticed any difference yet. I go to work everyday as I run a small business by myself and we recently brought a house have 3 young children which my wife is a stay at home mother.. so all the responsibilities of my family are on my shoulders

 

Some days are just Ok and every other day is terrible. 

I think more than anything that I’m more scared then anything, more scared that this feeling of depression and worrying about things that never bothered me before are now consuming everyday and are here to stay. Every day is a struggle but I will push on because of my kids and wife. I’ve given up alcohol as well which is also really hard as I was a alcoholic and have gone cold turkey of that as well. I’m struggling with not drinking as well everyday which is not helping the head either. I’ve been getting fit as well going to the gym, I just want to get back to feeling great with life the way I was 3 to 4months ago before I stopped taking Zoloft Cold Turkey.

 

Has anyone got any advise on how I have gone from 100mg back to my original dose of 50mg. Should I have tapered back to 50mg? I couldn’t feel any worse on the 100mg so I was ready to try anything drastic as I can’t get much lower with depression.

Thanks in advance for any advise. 

Ill fill out my medical history when I get a chance away from the kids.

Edited January 26, 2021 by Shep
added spacing for readability

[Shep]

14 hours ago, Peaceout said:

Has anyone got any advise on how I have gone from 100mg back to my original dose of 50mg. Should I have tapered back to 50mg? I couldn’t feel any worse on the 100mg so I was ready to try anything drastic as I can’t get much lower with depression.

Thanks in advance for any advise. 

Ill fill out my medical history when I get a chance away from the kids.

 

Definitely get that signature up when you can. It's hard giving advice without a solid timeframe for when you were on and off your drugs and the signature is really helpful for this. Right now, I'm unclear about your timeline, especially with the Valium, etc. 

[manymoretodays]

Hi Peaceout, and welcome,

 

19 hours ago, Peaceout said:

I think more than anything that I’m more scared then anything, more scared that this feeling of depression and worrying about things that never bothered me before are now consuming everyday and are here to stay. Every day is a struggle but I will push on because of my kids and wife. I’ve given up alcohol as well which is also really hard as I was a alcoholic and have gone cold turkey of that as well. I’m struggling with not drinking as well everyday which is not helping the head either. I’ve been getting fit as well going to the gym, I just want to get back to feeling great with life the way I was 3 to 4months ago before I stopped taking Zoloft Cold Turkey.

 

From what I can see, from your narrative so far, is that well, Yes......you've got some WD(withdrawal) going on now.

 

And yes, do work on the signature, get some dates in there.........that will help us a lot.  I'm not sure of the dates of your reinstatement(s) with the sertraline yet, so it's hard to answer your question about dosing yet.  It does sound like you are functioning to some degree though, on the 50 mg dose.......and correct me, if I'm wrong on that. 

And then, I think that if your goal is to get med/drug free one day, it certainly will give you less to taper from once you've gotten comfortable with some WD(withdrawal) stability. 

 

And I'll just throw in some of the basics of tapering and withdrawal here too, the topics, so you'll have them for reference:

 

Our harm reduction model, for tapering:

*Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

*Tips for tapering Zoloft(sertraline)

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

Brain Remodelling

 

Dr.Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list.

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

When we take medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made.  The CNS likes stability. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

And then just one more topic:

Neuroemotions

you may relate to this one a lot now.  When in WD, sometimes it's like every emotion is amplified.  This might explain some of your feelings of "depression" now too.

 

Okay and best.  Welcome aboard.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

 

 

[Peaceout]

Just updated my signature. Pretty sure I’ve put to much info in. Let me know if that’s correct. Thanks for everyone’s advise so far.

[Shep]

Thanks, Peaceout. 

 

I'm copying your signature here because I'm about to replace it with a simpler, easier to read one and I don't want to lose what you wrote. 

 

Quote

Started Zoloft 13 years ago at 25mg. Was put on higher dose to 50mg 12 years ago for anxiety and the occasional panic attack. Was feeling really good and happy with life 2 years ago and decided I didn’t need the Zoloft anymore. Took myself off Cold Turkey. A couple months later had a very stressful situation at work happen and I had a full breakdown, constant anxiety and panic attacks, no sleep for 2 weeks and depression. Reinstated Zoloft at 50mg and it took 5 to 6 months to feel back to normal.  Was on Zoloft till June 20th last year and was back to feeling great and really happy with life and decided to go Cold Turkey again on the 20th June. Once again about 2 months later, I had a major stressful event happen at work and had another full breakdown same as the first time 2 years prior with constant anxiety and panic attacks and no sleep for a couple of weeks. Doctor reinstated Zoloft at a higher dose of 100mg on 1st September. At the same time started taking 5mg of Valium per night and drinking a half a carton of beer per night. Did this for one month till the 1st October and then went cold turkey off the Valium and Alcohol. All feelings of the breakdown were then multipled. Since then till now I’ve had anxiety, insomnia, depression, feelings of hopelessness and fear and suicidal thoughts and basically struggle to get out of bed everyday.

 

[Shep]

On 1/20/2021 at 5:07 AM, Peaceout said:

Been back on Zoloft now at 100mg for roughly 3 months since the break down and still not feeling better. Constantly depressed and even have suicidal thoughts sometimes and struggle everyday at work with just hating life. I now know that abusing the Valium and alcohol was the worst thing I could’ve done, as adding that to the Cold Turkey of Zoloft has just made things a lot worse then they all ready were.

 

Two things first:

 

1. Please make sure I did your signature justice. I copied your original signature in my post above, as I didn't want to erase your narrative. 
2. Please stop using the words "break down" for what you're dealing with. You're making it sound like there's something wrong with you. Nothing could be further from the truth. You have symptoms from a destabilized nervous system due to psych drugs, which is perfectly normal. Call it what it is. This will prevent you from having to carry a burden that isn't your fault. 

 

Also, it's possible that adding in 100 mg of Zoloft after you had been off cold turkey from 50 mg for a couple of months was way too high a dose to take and you got some side effects you may never have had before - craving benzos and alcohol. If you never had a problem with alcohol cravings prior to this experience, it most likely was a side effect of the Zoloft. Please see:

 

Driven To Drink: Antidepressants and Cravings for Alcohol

 

Now you're left with a very destabilized nervous system. Please see:

 

What is happening in your brain? (for benzos)

 

How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain (for antidepressants)

 

Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do in the way of adjusting the Zoloft right now because you've been on the 100 mg dose long enough to have developed dependency to it. You'll want to wait until you're more stable to taper But knowing you are having an alcohol-craving side effect gives you the knowledge and power to not touch alcohol until you are completely off this drug and well into the healing phase. 

 

Until you're a bit more stable, you may want to check out the links that @manymoretodays kindly linked for magnesium and fish oil. Add in one at a time and at a very low dose to see how you do.

 

Please also check out the non-drug coping skills section from some powerful ways of finding stability with mindfulness, breathing exercises, music, art, etc. 

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Once things have settled down some and you're feeling ready, we can help you set up a careful taper. 

 

Please post your thoughts and any questions once you've had a chance to read through the links. 

[Peaceout]

Thanks Sheps for your help. I left that part out that 7 days ago after reading a lot about reinstating problems of being put on a higher dose can cause problems I put my dose from 100mg back down to my original dose before going cold Turkey of 50mg. So I’ve been on 50mg for 7 days and I’ve noticed no change and still feel absolutely horrible. I’m so lost in what to do. I don’t want to cause my head anymore problems. Thanks for fixing up my signature. 

[Shep]

Thanks for this additional information, Peaceout. I've updated your signature. Please see if it's correct. If not, please make change - a direct link is here:

 

 Account Settings - Create or Update Your Signature

 

You may have become dependent on the 100 mg, since you were on that dose for 4.5 months. SSRI's are notorious for delayed withdrawal, so you may get hit with more withdrawal symptoms later. This may mean you should updose a bit. 

 

However, there is some evidence that Zoloft (sertraline) has a high occupancy of the drug in the lower doses, so I want to ask the moderators with more antidepressant withdrawal experience (I'm more experienced in benzo withdrawal) to weigh in. 

 

I'm going to post the information we have on this for you:

 

Why taper? SERT transporter occupancy studies show importance of gradual change in plasma concentration

 

The paper referenced there is here:

 

Serotonin Transporter Occupancy of Five Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors at Different Doses: An [11C]DASB Positron Emission Tomography Study

 

I don't want to recommend an updose right away until I can get a second opinion for you. 

[Shep]

@PeaceoutI asked the other mods about your case, especially regarding the SERT studies I linked to in my last post. 

 

The response is to hold at 50 mg until you're a lot more stable before starting a taper. An updose isn't likely to help at this point.

 

Are you taking any supplements? If not, you may want to try a bit of magnesium or fish oil and see if that helps take the edge off. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Start with one at a time and at a low dose. 

 

As you hold, please bring in as many non-drug coping skills as you're able. Mindfulness, breathing techniques, gentle yoga, etc. can all be very helpful. 

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

 

 

[Peaceout]

Thanks so much Shep for your support and advise. The last 3 days have been good for me. They haven’t been awesome, but they’ve  seemed a lot better then the bad ones. I have and will hold at 50mg. Don’t want to get ahead of myself and start to think that because I’ve had a few good days that the Zoloft might be starting to level it’s self out, as I had a good day every now and then in the last couple of months then the following day I would be a absolute mess. Will keep you updated. Once again thankyou...

[Shep]

Thanks for the update, Peaceout. It sounds like you're beginning to stabilize. You may want to hold for a few weeks to a few months to really get a solid baseline before you taper again. 

[Peaceout]

Hi Everyone, second time posting. Wanting some information about reinstatement and what could be happening to me. Not doing to well at the moment. A quick run down on how I've ended up at this point. Was on Zoloft 50mg for 13 years for mild anxiety, never was told by the Doctor that I needed to Taper when I decided I wanted to stop taking the meds (2 and a half years ago) and just stopped Cold Turkey. About a month later I had stressful event happen and then I got smashed with massive panic attacks, anxiety all day and insomnia at night. New Doctor put me back on Zoloft at 50mg and the panic attacks, insomnia started to get better after a month or so. Still the Doctor didn't explain to me about what had happened and I just put the whole episode down to the stressful event that had happen, I didn't think once it anything to do with the Zoloft. Move forward 1 year and I felt better again, so I dropped down to 25mg for a week, then just stopped Cold Turkey again. Once again about a month later my world came tumbling down. Panic attacks and anxiety were back on a massive scale and the insomnia was back. Doctor still did not mention it could be the Zoloft and in October last year put me back on Zoloft at 100mg and 5mg of Valium. Took the Valium and Zoloft for a month and was sleeping at night but not doing to well during the day. In that month I found this website and started reading and figured it out. Started needing more Valium to go to sleep at the 4 week stage and after a few nights at upping the dose, started reading about Benzos and realized I needed off these asap and stopped the Valium Cold Turkey. Big mistake..... Pretty sure the Valium was just holding things together for me and once I stopped my world fell apart like never before, got as bad as I was wanting to die nearly everyday and constant Panic Attacks put me in bed for 2 weeks.  

After reading on this site that reinstating at too high of dose of Zoloft can have bad side effects, I quickly tapered down from 100mg to 25mg over 2 weeks and after a few days finally started to get some sleep. Had bad anxiety still but was sleeping and the suicide thoughts had gone. Stayed on 25mg for about a month and didn't feel great but could get though the day. About a month and a half ago a new Doctor said he thinks the Zoloft has stopped working and he prescribed me 75mg of Venlafaxine. Didn't take it as i was scared to start a new antidepressant but after a couple of weeks of feeling crap I thought it cant get any worse. So 4 weeks ago I started taking half the dose (35mg) and the next week i upped it to 50mg the next week upped it to 60mg and then upped it to 75mg 5 days ago. Insomnia and anxiety have come back badly since getting to 60mg so 2 days ago I decided I cant do this anymore and need to get of anti depressants as I felt the same as when i was on 100mg of Zoloft, just terrible, no sleep and bad thoughts. Today I reduced my dose to 35mg of Venlafaxine and will sit on this until I hear from one of the Mods on what they think I should be doing next. Definitely not going to ask my Doctor what to do. 

Would like to go back to 25mg of zoloft as that seemed to level me out Ok, still wasn't feeling great, but I could get though the day, and then do a very slow taper but not sure if that can happen now considering I've been taking Venlafaxine for 4 weeks. Got no Idea on what to do next....

Sorry about the long story.

Cheers

Edited June 24, 2021 by manymoretodays
name to title, tags

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Peaceout

 

I moved your new posts here to follow prior discussion.

 

Since you last posted Feb. 1, it appears you switched from Zoloft to venlafaxine and went up and down in venlafaxine dosage.

 

On 6/23/2021 at 3:34 PM, Peaceout said:

About a month and a half ago a new Doctor said he thinks the Zoloft has stopped working and he prescribed me 75mg of Venlafaxine. Didn't take it as i was scared to start a new antidepressant but after a couple of weeks of feeling crap I thought it cant get any worse. So 4 weeks ago I started taking half the dose (35mg) and the next week i upped it to 50mg the next week upped it to 60mg and then upped it to 75mg 5 days ago. Insomnia and anxiety have come back badly since getting to 60mg so 2 days ago

 

If I were you, I'd go back down to 37.5mg. It's been only a few weeks on the higher dosages, correct?

 

Yes, it can get worse. If I were you, I would have left well enough alone when you were taking 50mg Zoloft, as Shep advised. Making dramatic drug changes can upset your nervous system, which is why we advise very careful tapering and holding to let things settle down. That is where you are now.

 

Please note that when you are in this state, even an occasional drink of alcohol can upset your nervous system more. If you are drinking, you may be adding considerably to your problems.

 

After you made the switch to venlafaxine, how did you feel?

 

 

[Peaceout]

Thanks Altostrata.. Really appreciate your help. Since my post the other day I feel better after dropping down to 37.5mg, in that, been able to get some sleep, don't have thoughts of self harm and the anxiety is tolerable.  The feelings I had before dropping it back down were so bad and felt exactly the same as when my Doctor reinstated me on Zoloft at double my original dose to 100mg and as I gradually reduced the Zoloft down to 25mg is when I felt my life was manageable, not great but I could get though each day.  That's when my new Doctor swapped me over Venlafaxine around a month ago and I found that every little increase i made from 37.5mg to the 75mg I was gradually getting worse and with the last increase to 75mg totally flooring me and making me a total mess. 

Would you recommend staying on the Venlafaxine at 37.5mg and doing a correct taper as I've only been on it for a month or should I go back to the Zoloft 25mg and do a correct Taper from there.

Thanks for the advise on the alcohol. It makes me feel good when drinking and gives me relief from feeling like crap, but then the next few days are terrible. Sometimes I just want to feel normal for a few hours but i know its not worth the pain after.

 

[Peaceout]

After nearly a week of dropping back to 37.5mg of Venlafaxine I'm back to being a complete mess, feeling absolutely terrible. Feel Hopeless and cant see that ill ever get better. Didn't feel great on Zoloft but definitely never felt this low now that I'm on Venlafaxine. Kind of stumped on where to go from here. I know I've got to pick a path and stick to it. 

The worst part is not being able to sleep at night. The anxiety never stops and i wish for sleep so i can have a break from it.

Anyways thanks for all your help.

Appreciate it..

 

[Shep]

On 6/30/2021 at 4:48 PM, Peaceout said:

The worst part is not being able to sleep at night.

 

Yes, the insomnia during withdrawal can be brutal.

 

What time of the day are you taking the antidepressant? Are you taking any other drugs or supplements?

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

 

[Peaceout]

I take the Venlafaxine first thing in the morning. But even though I’m only on 37.5mg I feel worse then ever. Worst meaning constant anxiety all day and night and feel as though I have nothing to live for.

I’m taking fish oil and calcium tablets. 
Went to my Doctor and he recommended because of the bad side effects Venlafaxine is not for me and I should go back to Zoloft. I don’t trust any of the Doctors advise anymore. 
Should I stay on the venlafaxine which I feel I though I am getting worse each day I stay on it?

Or should I go back to Zoloft 25mg and do a slow taper from there?

Really confused...

[Shep]

On 6/25/2021 at 11:22 PM, Peaceout said:

Since my post the other day I feel better after dropping down to 37.5mg, in that, been able to get some sleep, don't have thoughts of self harm and the anxiety is tolerable.

 

12 hours ago, Peaceout said:

I take the Venlafaxine first thing in the morning. But even though I’m only on 37.5mg I feel worse then ever.

 

This could be a wave. 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

You posted 2 weeks ago, June 25, that you were feeling better. How long did this window last? 

 

Did anything change over this time period, such as change in diet, outside stressors, any benzo or alcohol consumption? 

[Peaceout]

2 weeks ago I went from 75mg Venlafaxine to 35mg and felt better for 2-3 days straight away (not sure if it was just in my head), then everything went back to being terrible again to the point where i really struggle to get though the day. 
No Benzo, but I have been drinking beers on Saturday and Sunday’s since starting the venlafaxine. I tell myself all week that I am done with the alcohol but those few hours of drinking, I feel normal again. I’m really struggling with life and in those couple of hours I laugh and play with my kids and enjoy it. But when the next morning comes I’m back to square one or even worse. I gave up alcohol for 6 months when I first posted on this site, but gave in and started having a few beers each weekend. I’ve been lying to myself about the drinking and it helps writing it down here. 
I’ll post in a couple of weeks after no alcohol and let you know how I feel.

Thanks Shep for help. Really appreciate it... I’m struggling big time and I’m just looking for a answer.
 

[Peaceout]

Is it to late to go back to 25mg of Zoloft and do a slow taper?

The Venlafaxine is destroying me Mentally...

I wish I never switched and I feel as low as I can get, so if it’s a possibility to go back to Zoloft and taper I will do it. 

[Shep]

19 hours ago, Peaceout said:

No Benzo, but I have been drinking beers on Saturday and Sunday’s since starting the venlafaxine. I tell myself all week that I am done with the alcohol but those few hours of drinking, I feel normal again. I’m really struggling with life and in those couple of hours I laugh and play with my kids and enjoy it. But when the next morning comes I’m back to square one or even worse. I gave up alcohol for 6 months when I first posted on this site, but gave in and started having a few beers each weekend. I’ve been lying to myself about the drinking and it helps writing it down here. 
I’ll post in a couple of weeks after no alcohol and let you know how I feel.

Thanks Shep for help. Really appreciate it... I’m struggling big time and I’m just looking for a answer.

 

10 hours ago, Peaceout said:

Is it to late to go back to 25mg of Zoloft and do a slow taper?

The Venlafaxine is destroying me Mentally...

 

Thank you for your honesty, Peaceout. It's very helpful because we need figure this out and the timeline of when you resumed drinking and the fact that you're doing so on the weekend is helpful in setting up a game plan going forward. 

 

Please note these comments you made earlier, this post on Zoloft:

 

On 2/1/2021 at 5:43 AM, Peaceout said:

The last 3 days have been good for me. They haven’t been awesome, but they’ve  seemed a lot better then the bad ones. I have and will hold at 50mg. Don’t want to get ahead of myself and start to think that because I’ve had a few good days that the Zoloft might be starting to level it’s self out, as I had a good day every now and then in the last couple of months then the following day I would be a absolute mess

 

 

And this post on Venlafaxine:

 

On 6/25/2021 at 11:22 PM, Peaceout said:

Since my post the other day I feel better after dropping down to 37.5mg, in that, been able to get some sleep, don't have thoughts of self harm and the anxiety is tolerable.  

 

It's likely that periodic drinking has more to do with your symptoms than either of the drugs you are on. So to think that swapping out the Venlafaxine with Zoloft will solve your symptoms is likely misguided. You had started to stabilize on both drugs before you made changes and / or consumed alcohol. 

 

You said it very well and very honestly here: 

 

19 hours ago, Peaceout said:

I tell myself all week that I am done with the alcohol but those few hours of drinking, I feel normal again. I’m really struggling with life and in those couple of hours I laugh and play with my kids and enjoy it. But when the next morning comes I’m back to square one or even worse.

 

 

Be kind to yourself, Peaceout. You really need to deal with the alcohol use before tapering anymore. And continuing to swap one antidepressant for another in hopes that it will make your symptoms less isn't realistic. It will only lead to more nervous system destabilization. 

 

Please see:

 

Alcohol and beer

 

You may want to read at least the first post in Brassmonkey's success story. He also dealt with antidepressant withdrawal and alcohol and writes about it very eloquently:

 

Tao of the Brassmonkey

 

For me, coming off a large cocktail of drugs that also included two benzos and a z-drug involved learning a LOT of non-drug coping skills to cope. Having spent 30 years starting as a teenager using psychiatric drugs to regulate my emotions and to sleep at night meant having to do a lot of work to learn those skills I never had to learn before. Please  spend some time here:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Simply learning to breathe through uncomfortable symptoms can get you through a lot of difficulties. This is one of many videos available on YouTube to get you started:

 

The Breathing Space by Jon Kabat Zinn video (4 minutes)

 

Just some thoughts, Peaceout. If you're not able to deal with the alcohol use on your own, please seek out a therapist whom you trust and doesn't gaslight you with psychiatric jargon. Even if you can't find a therapist who's educated in withdrawal, target your search for a therapist for one who can teach you certain skills, such as mindfulness or even skip therapy altogether and go to a beginner's yoga or Tai Chi class. You can even start out on your own using YouTube videos for beginning skills in these areas. Whatever you need to do to feel more comfortable inside your own skin so you don't need to take a substance to cover up the discomfort. 

 

And then you'll be ready to taper again. 

 

Edited July 5, 2021 by Shep
fixed typo

[Peaceout]

Thanks Shep. Just never felt so hopeless before, like I can’t do this anymore. Whilst being on venlafaxine. I’m terrified with taking it each morning. Thanks for taking the time to listen to my problems. I’ll stick to what I’m on now and I told my wife about giving up the drinking last night so she’ll make sure I don’t. 

[Shep]

Sounds like a good plan, Peaceout. Let us know how you're doing along the way.