Selfhealer: Only 5 months in AD and Benzos? Is withdrawal possible?

[Selfhealer]

Just now, Selfhealer said:

30 minutes ago, Greatful said:

@Selfhealer  Did you feel a increase in symptoms when you started the Magnesium of Omega 3? 

I really couldn’t tell the difference back then. I was really into the hardest part of my WD so far and I couldn’t feel anything. But now I think it’s giving me a short of jitteriness. Is there a link about Omega 3 that explains its functions ?

[Greatful]

I am glad that you and I are discussing this, it is getting me to learn more.  I didn't not know we should be taking vitamin E with the Omega 3.  I guess I will be heading to the store.  Or maybe I will send my husband.

 

I went out for lunch with my husband and ran a few errands, now my brain is a numb tingly mess.  I am so sensitive to stimulation.  It is hard for me to be at stores or around noise and people.  I made myself go today, it was nice to go out for lunch, but that should have been all I did.  Now I am fatigued, anxious, and sad.  I get so frustrated that I can't do the things I use to do.  So then I start the down negative  cycle,  I am never going to get better and I think negative things, that I am weak, like it is my fault that I feel like this.  I try to tell myself this is not a personal reflection on myself, that I am going through a drug withdrawal.   Like you said, who else besides, the people who support you, and the people here on SA. would know how debilitating this can be.

Unless you have gone through this you would never understand, especially how long this can take.   

 

I guess it is getting pretty late at your house, so I will say goodnight and I hope you sleep well

[Selfhealer]

Small update. Today I’m almost on the 4th month mark of the last time I ever took ADs or Benzos(110days exactly). My symptoms seem to lessen over time. The last 3 weeks went something like this:

 

- Brain zaps: none, until today, when I had just one.

-Dizziness: (along with DP/DR is my worst symptom). Getting better but reaaaally slow.

-DP/DR: Very slowly improving, still really challenging.

-Muscle ache: Definitely better. Sometimes my back hurts but nothing like it used to.

-Fatigue: Far better. Maybe 80% healed. I think yoga helped me with that.( and magnesium). Although heavy, tired legs still bother me everyday.
-Air hunger/chest discomfort/heart palpitations: these are my second most resisting symptoms after dizziness and DP/DR. (I used to have heart palpitations every time I laid down. Now it happens for a few minutes in the beginning and then stops!)

- Inner tremor: This one has been here since the beginning but recently its volume started to increase.

 

I could go on for hours but…. I don’t really find meaning trying to depict every little trouble those demons caused me. I am honestly trying with all my heart to release fear and practice acceptance and these two seem to be working. Dr. Claire Weekes really made a difference and I’m so greatful to have learned about her from this forum.

 

I don’t really have trouble sleeping, eating( except the fact that when I do I get slightly dizzy) or simply doing everyday stuff. As I’ve said before I never got bedridden I was always active and functional. Of course this doesn’t mean that any of these are easy to do. I just try to face the “fear of the day” as I call it. So I ask myself: what do you fear the most today?” and most of the times I just do it. All the other times I just let myself rest. I like to think that I don’t have to wait for a better me to live again. I just live as good as I can and I am ok with that. 
 

Thank you fellow healer for reading me. ✨🌼

 

 

 

 

[Greatful]

@@SelfhealerHi,  Slow but steady, you are doing great.  Great attitude.   Could you please pass some of that spark my way.  I really have been fighting depression and anxiety the last week.  I need some tips on what to tell myself to get out of this negative spot.  UGH.

It is good to see by your improvements that time is the key factor in healing.   

What is reiki?

What brand of Omega 3 do you take?

Take care

[Selfhealer]

@Greatful !!! So nice to “read” you in my thread again! I am sorry you have to deal with anxiety and depression the last days. I am experiencing anxiety, too. Don’t worry. It’s normal. And none of these can hurt you. Well, reiki is an energy therapy. But it’s not just that. It’s also deep shadow work. It’s a way of understanding how you became the person you are today. It’s like working with a psychologist but according to my experience it’s faaaar better. It has helped me tons in my journey I cannot even explain how much. But you have to indeed find a good reiki healer. I combined it with meditation and yoga for better results and it’s definitely working. Of course it’s not a one week thing and then boom! you’re ok and WD is gone…. It’s a PRACTICE. You HAVE TO do it every day. Every time. On any symptom. Physical or mental. Another tactic I use ( and that’s an almost everyday practice where I had to be truly consistent) was this: whenever I had an unpleasant (mostly physical) symptom I asked myself: “Do you accept this?”. I would ask me over and over again ( maybe 15-20 times by the time I would get the nasty feelings) until my ; “ Yes, I accept it” would come from my heart. I had to mean every single word. 
As for the Omega 3 I recently increased my consumption of it. I take 5 capsules per day. The company is called “My protein”,

 

 I would love to hear from you again soon.

wishing you a WD free day 🤩

[Greatful]

@Selfhealer  Hi, stopping by to see how you are doing?  Did you ever decide about your job?

Take care❤️

[Selfhealer]

@Greatfulhi there! I really cannot avoid to note what a beautiful soul you are. I see you commenting, supporting people. You are truly gifted and I admire you for that! 
Generally the last two weeks things have been going pretty nice ☺️ Even the severe air hunger now looks like a distant, bad memory. I sometimes find myself overexcited with the progress I see but then I remind me that there is the windows and waves pattern and i have to wait to be sure about my recovery. 
As for my job, I am that close in resignation, but it won’t be due to WD but mostly because of my internal need to follow my heart from now on ❤️. 
 

Tell me about you! How have these neuro-emotions been lately? Any other symptoms or improvements?

Always a pleasure “reading”you.

Best wishes 
 

 

[Greatful]

@Selfhealer  Thank You for the kind words😊

I was looking over your signature.  You are doing fantastic. You rock girl.  Your enthusiasm is out of this world.‼️  Almost ct both Lexapro and Xanax. 

 Did you take much of the Xanax?  

 

I think I am in Xanax W/D along with the other drugs W/D😰

 

I am glad you are taking care of yourself and following your heart.

Please keep me updated on your progress.  There is hope after drugs and W/D🤩  Yeah

 

 Success story soon😊

'

[Selfhealer]

@Greatfulhey there! I’m sorry I didnt answer earlier. The last 10 days I feel I’m in a bad wave. Like no improvement has ever happened. Anxiety is over the roof,DP, strange physical sensations,akathisia, heart palpitations, dizinnes and air hunger (again). I remember the 3-4 days I was in a window I kept telling myself “please, do remember this time, if and when the next wave comes”. Well, I try to remember it as often as possible. So now, my success story seems a bit distant.
I also think I’m in a Xanax WD. 
How are you coping? Do supplements help you? What kind of them have you tried? 
Sending patience 

[Greatful]

@Selfhealer

 

30 minutes ago, Selfhealer said:

Anxiety is over the roof,DP, strange physical sensations,akathisia, heart palpitations, dizinnes and air hunger (again)

 

I am sorry you are in a wave.   WOW  You are getting hit by a title wave🌊 Hold on tight.  You know it will pass, as hard as it is you will be okay.

I wonder is something is in the air.  So many people are struggling right now. 

That d/p is really frustrating,  I feel like I am not fully apart of this world.  I have a hard time connecting to my hubby.  I start to panic and try and feel connected to him and that makes it more frustrating.  UGH

 

Do you have internal akathisia?  Like you are restless and tense inside.  Kind of panicky.  I hate that feeling. 

38 minutes ago, Selfhealer said:

How are you coping?

I have been on a roller coaster up and down.  Somedays I can (almost) step away form my thoughts and I am now trying to color code my  symptoms, depression (black) anxiety(red) jealousy (green) anger, etc.  So I if I am depressed I will visualize a red blab/dot in my mind. I will see it away in front of me and say that is depression and it is not me.  (kittenlepurr gave me the idea)  It helps to separate the pain from you.  I feel it helps me see that it is really not me. As with everything else sometimes it works and sometimes you just can't get anything to work.

46 minutes ago, Selfhealer said:

I remember the 3-4 days I was in a window I kept telling myself “please, do remember this time, if and when the next wave comes”.

It is crazy how you can feel somewhat normal in the evening and then the next morning you wake up and you have to start at the bottom of the hill again and you can barely remember how it felt the night before. You know you felt better but the feeling is gone.🤪

 

Hang in there a window is right around the corner.  You  know yours are going to get longer.  I mean really who gets 3-4 days in a window😍

 

[Selfhealer]

@Greatful Yeahh, it seems to be a hard one. I feel there’s something in the air,too! The last days in my home country, Greece, we are facing a lot of wildfires and environmental damage in a devastating degree😞. I believe all this negative energy has definitely a big impact to everyone. 
I as well fell that deep disconnection from my human side. It’s so strange, terrIfying but also a big lesson: to NEVER, EVER forget our human qualities and soul. Thank you so much for your supportive words. You already made me feel better 🙂.

As for the akathisia yes. That’s my type. Vibrant, inner, restless akathisia/ close to panicking. Is that the issue for you too? How do you cope with it? Don’t worry about your husband! Since you’re calling him “hubby” I can tell he’s a big supporter of yours, so  be kind to your WD feelings towards him. They are not yours!

This wave is quite different. The morning-afternoon pattern slightly changed. I am not feeling better on evenings 😞. Maybe a little bit, but nowhere close to how it used to be.

Thank you for all your insight and inspiration! That meditation you’re practicing is excellent! I wish you a big big big window the next days from the bottom of my heart! 

[Selfhealer]

@Greatful * oh, and please! Teach me how to do this thing, where you answer on paragraphs and note them! Thank you again. Greatful to have you here ❤️

[Greatful]

@Selfhealer

1 hour ago, Selfhealer said:

That’s my type. Vibrant, inner, restless akathisia/ close to panicking.

Sometimes I get extremely tense and my brain is intense and I feel like I have to run away or bolt.  I also get a panic feeling, not a full panic attack, just under the surface panic sometimes it is accompanied by unexplainable fear, scared.  How about tingling throughout your body, real light tingling?

1 hour ago, Selfhealer said:

Since you’re calling him “hubby” I can tell he’s a big supporter of yours

Yes, he is very supportive.  He keeps reminding me that things are getting better.  If I remember, you have good support also

 

1 hour ago, Selfhealer said:

Teach me how to do this thing, where you answer on paragraphs and note them!

Is this what you mean?  All you have to do is highlight what ever you want quoted let go over the key and a little box that says quote will appear then click on the box.  The text will move to the spot your curser is on in your conversation.  Hope that makes sense!  You will get the hang of it.

 

Are you working?

Hang in there, it has got to end soon. WINDOW💕

[Selfhealer]

On 8/7/2021 at 2:00 AM, Greatful said:

On 8/7/2021 at 12:43 AM, Selfhealer said:

 

Sometimes I get extremely tense and my brain is intense and I feel like I have to run away or bolt.  I also get a panic feeling, not a full panic attack, just under the surface panic sometimes it is accompanied by unexplainable fear, scared.  How about tingling throughout your body, real light tingling?

Cannot believe how similar this sounds. I mean…. It’s EXACTLY how it is for me,too. S

[Selfhealer]

On 8/7/2021 at 2:00 AM, Greatful said:

Yes, he is very supportive.  He keeps reminding me that things are getting better.  If I remember, you have good support also

Yes, he is very supportive towards me. He is a quite cynical person( haha ) and this quality I believe in these kind of situation helps. You have someone that constantly brings you back to reality and truth. But he is also such a huuuge supporter with all the hugging and sharing feelings included.

[Selfhealer]

On 8/7/2021 at 2:00 AM, Greatful said:

On 8/7/2021 at 12:44 AM, Selfhealer said:

I think(?) I got it! Not sure! I expect a loooong window after this awful wave. Going to do some yoga today and tidy up. How about you? ❤️

Is this what you mean?  All you have to do is highlight what ever you want quoted let go over the key and a little box that says quote will appear then click on the box.  The text will move to the spot your curser is on in your conversation.  Hope that makes sense!  You will get the hang of it.

 

Are you working?

Hang in there, it has got to end soon. WINDOW💕

 

[Selfhealer]

@Greatfuloh… I think I messed up in the last quote! Haha! It seems so funny to me! I hope I have you a good laugh as well!

[Greatful]

@Selfhealer  You have been pretty quite over here.  How are you doing?

[Selfhealer]

On 9/1/2021 at 1:43 AM, Greatful said:

@Selfhealer  You have been pretty quite over here.  How are you doing?

Hey @Greatful. Yes, it’s true, I took some time off the forum. Honestly, I feel great. I just hit the 5 month mark and after a little bit of research I also decided to cut down all the supplements I’ve been taking like magnesium and Omega 3. I prefer Epsom salt baths to cope with muscle tension and it really helps. Symptoms that are still lingering is jelly legs, a little bit of dizziness, back pain and sometimes air hunger. Of course anxiety is still an issue but my way of coping seems to be working as well. (Yoga, breathing techniques,reiki etc) I am aware that I am not fully recovered, but I feel I’m getting close! 
How are you doing? Thanks for caring ❤️

[Greatful]

@Selfhealer  It is great to see you are out of your wave and into a nice longgggggg window.  I also feel like there has been some progress, not enough though, but progress.  I think taking a break from SA is helpful at times.  It can get so overwhelming  to see the pain that is on here.  It still amazes me the amount of people from all over the world suffering from the ill affects from these drugs.  I like to say SA is a  huge life raft.  Grab a hold when ever you need it☺️

 

Hey, did you ever quit your job?  I am taking a 12 week leave of absence from mine.  School starts back up on Wednesday, it will be a hard day for me think that my co-workers will be back to work😥.  I know I am not ready to go back yet.  I was out with hubby stopped at a store and out to eat and my brain became scrabbled and I knew that was going to be all the activity for me for the rest of the day.........

 

 I started my taper off Lexapro.  2% cut off of 5mg pill.  2,3,4 days  were dysfunctional. Feeling a little better today.  I wish I could be off of it all like you🙄

 

Don't disappear on me.  I need to be reminded that we are healing.  Just look at you and how well you are doing.❤️

 

[Selfhealer]

11 hours ago, Greatful said:

It is great to see you are out of your wave and into a nice longgggggg window.  I also feel like there has been some progress, not enough though, but progress.  I think taking a break from SA is helpful at times.  It can get so overwhelming  to see the pain that is on here.  It still amazes me the amount of people from all over the world suffering from the ill affects from these drugs.  I like to say SA is a  huge life raft.  Grab a hold when ever you need it☺️

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for appreciating my progress. I feel you so close to me and I’ve never even met you! That’s the magic stuff here in SA😍(and not only, LOL). So happy for you for getting a “break” from the long term awfulness that we are all enforced to. Things DO get better, TRUST ME. Sometimes I cannot even believe it, but it’s true. All our debilitating symptoms WILL FADE.

[Selfhealer]

12 hours ago, Greatful said:

Hey, did you ever quit your job?  I am taking a 12 week leave of absence from mine.  School starts back up on Wednesday, it will be a hard day for me think that my co-workers will be back to work😥.  I know I am not ready to go back yet.  I was out with hubby stopped at a store and out to eat and my brain became scrabbled and I knew that was going to be all the activity for me for the rest of the day.........

No, I haven’t YET. But the time has come. I am expecting an important info and then poof I’m OUT. I think one of the most important things that WD teaches us is to how to love ourselves. Thus meaning, that sometimes we just have to say NO, and quit everything that doesn’t serve us anymore. So, good for you, standing up for yourself, your body, your mind and your soul by staying away from your work. No need to push yourself. At times I feel like pushing is going to help me while others not. I try to listen to that little voice of my soul and trust it.

[Selfhealer]

12 hours ago, Greatful said:

I started my taper off Lexapro.  2% cut off of 5mg pill.  2,3,4 days  were dysfunctional. Feeling a little better today.  I wish I could be off of it all like you🙄

Great! That’s awesome! Heading to 0! That’s soooo big. You have to recognise that to yourself!

[Selfhealer]

12 hours ago, Greatful said:

Don't disappear on me.  I need to be reminded that we are healing.  Just look at you and how well you are doing.❤️

Awwww. I won’t. And I need you, in case I crawl back into another wave that this is just the way it has to be in order for us to HEAL. Leaving you with a quote from a book I’ve been reading recently:

“ Selfhealing is not only possible,it is our reality as human beings, because no one outside of us can truly know what is best for each of us in our own uniqueness”.

How to do the work, Dr. Nicole LePera

[Greatful]

 @Selfhealer  Hi, how are you doing.  You have been pretty quite over here.❤️

[Greatful]

@Selfhealer Is everything okay?

[Selfhealer]

On 11/15/2021 at 5:43 PM, Greatful said:

@Selfhealer Is everything okay?

Hey @Greatful! Yes… I guess. I purposely been avoiding SA… it seemed as though I was inhaling all these symptoms etc and making it my own. I’m in a better place generally. Not right now but the progress is visible. How are u doing?

[Greatful]

@Selfhealer

Thank You for letting me know you were okay❤️ You were either riding off in to the sunset or not doing so well

3 hours ago, Selfhealer said:

Yes… I guess. I purposely been avoiding SA…

That's good you  know you must take care of yourself. 

 

I have to take a break once and awhile, I get overwhelmed, seeing all the new members starting out, the fear and panic in their voices.  Sometimes I don't have the energy to even take care of myself.  Then there are times  it is what keeps me going.  So learning how to balance it is the trick.  Sometimes it is pretty much the only place that I can connect to feel normal, it can remind me that I am not crazy and that the drugs did this to me..  My life is so on hold, no one else can really relate to what all this craziness. 

So in a nutshell take care of yourself first and for most.🌞

 

That being said.  I am slowly tapering off the LEX.  With each decrease I go through a wave but some how I feel more grounded.  I see more of myself slowly coming out of the haze.  Defiantly still in WD. Up and down , round and round.

 

Are you seeing many windows❤️

 

 

[Selfhealer]

On 11/24/2021 at 9:25 PM, Greatful said:

@Selfhealer

Thank You for letting me know you were okay❤️ You were either riding off in to the sunset or not doing so well

That's good you  know you must take care of yourself. 

 

I have to take a break once and awhile, I get overwhelmed, seeing all the new members starting out, the fear and panic in their voices.  Sometimes I don't have the energy to even take care of myself.  Then there are times  it is what keeps me going.  So learning how to balance it is the trick.  Sometimes it is pretty much the only place that I can connect to feel normal, it can remind me that I am not crazy and that the drugs did this to me..  My life is so on hold, no one else can really relate to what all this craziness. 

So in a nutshell take care of yourself first and for most.🌞

 

That being said.  I am slowly tapering off the LEX.  With each decrease I go through a wave but some how I feel more grounded.  I see more of myself slowly coming out of the haze.  Defiantly still in WD. Up and down , round and round.

 

Are you seeing many windows❤️

 

 

Yes. It’s exactly what you described about the SA content.

 
Nooo you’re not crazy at all. These ruminating thoughts are not yours. I didn’t know ( or remember) that you were in a tapering state. I thought you were off of them. Keep going. You’ve chosen the difficult path, but it’s totally worth it. 

 

As for my windows. Yes! After 8 months completely off these hideous drugs I feel more like myself. And they outnumber the bad ones. I was lucky to only have taken the drugs for 5 months. But I can’t avoid to mention that besides that, I myself have put A LOOOTT of personal effort with different techniques and ways to reach where I am right now. 
 

Thank you for caring. ❤️
 

 

[Greatful]

Hey  @Selfhealer  How are you doing.....I haven't talked to you for awhile.....