Summer29: Tapering off Seroquel and Prozac

[Summer29]

Hello Everybody!

 

I am so happy to have found this forum, it really made me feel less alone. 

 

English is not my native tongue, so please have mercy with me. I grew up in a not so-ideal environment, mostly because my mother was - or still is - depressed and there was a lot of fighting, crying and divorce-stuff. I am the youngest child and i kept everything very well together, untill the year 2013. I started taking Accutane, which is now known to be associated with Depression and Suicidality. On top, i was on the Pill, but only for about two months, because i started feeling very sad on it. Then, i got hit in my face with a ball and suffered a concussion. From then on, i fell into this dark pit called depression. I feel like it was boundt to happen, because my environment was so toxic for a young child. But in hindsight, no one ever asked questions about the influence of the Accutane or the Birth Control or anything on this depression, it was very clear to the doctors that it was "biological", because my mother was depressed. This belief sticks with me till today and is probably the cause for all my anxiety and worries about the future (can anyone relate to this? does anyone have some helpful tipps on how to change such a strong belief about yourself?). I was then put on Prozac, 10 mg, and stayed on that for about 3 years, till November 2016 (in addition to therapy). I felt quite good, mainly because i was finally able to move out and distance myself from the toxic environment. I didn't really have a tappering-plan for the Prozac back then, i just kind of skipped doses and then didn't take it anymore, over the time of about half a year. 

 

Fast forward to 2019, where i was put on Prozac again. It was after i got involuntarily pregnant while using the copper IUD. I then experienced this huge anxiety and i wanted to make sure this doesn't happen again, so i got the Mirena (Hormonal IUD). After 5 days on the Mirena, i felt depressed. I urged my OB Gyn to remove it, which he did, but he told me "that wasn't a possible side effect". I then spent the Summer of 2019 abroad, it was fine, but i was still so high on anxiety and fear of becoming pregnant again (those who have become pregnant while using contraception can relate to the trauma and feeling of helplessness). Then, in Fall of 2020, for whatever reason, i tried the NuvaRing. I used it for 1 Month, then quit, because it made me feel so so depressed (you're probably thinking "she should know by now that she can't handle hormones", but i was just so full of anxiety). Then the insomnia hit, and so i found myself in the dark pit of depression again. It was quite bad, because it was paired with a panic disorder, which later got diagnosed. While still at home, i was put on Prozac 20mg, thinking that this was "my" depression returning and that i was broken. The Psychiatrist in the emergency room told me, after talking to me for 2 minutes, "take the Prozac again, and you should probably never come off of it, you need it". This also sticks with me till today. The Prozac made my agitation so bad, i experienced suicidal thoughts (which i now know can happen with SSRI, especially when starting them), and i couldn't make myself feel safe anymore. I was hospitalized and put on Seroquel 50 mg ER in addition. That combination worked, and after 3 weeks, i was basically back to normal. 

 

I continued with therapy and felt very good about myself. I started to "tapper" the Prozac again in Summer 2020 and "tappered" till February this year (2021). Unfortunately, i had no help from Professionals, so i just went from 20 mg to 10 mg and then skipped doses, which i now know can be dangerous. Also, it was too fast, as it wasn't 10% of the last dose per month. I experienced some withdrawal symptoms about two months off Prozac, in April 2021, which was a bit of anxiety, ruminating thoughts and a little depressed mood. But it didn't do all too much.

 

Because i thought i was over the Prozac-Tapper, i wanted to tapper the Seroquel as well, which is what i started on 14th of June. Unfortunately, again without help from INFORMED Professionals, i went from 50 mg Extended Release to 37.5 mg Immediate Release, which i now know is way too fast. One week into the tapper, i started feeling very depressed, suicidal thoughts, insomnia. I then went back up to 50 mg IR, but took it all in one setting, so i imagine my body was still in withdrawal, because he was used to 50 mg extended release. Then i tried to split the dose for about three days, but the anxiety just got too much for me. I feel like i am going insane, i know nothing in my environment has changed, but i feel like i lost my mind. I know this is all anxiety, but i could really use some encouragement and maybe some helpful insights on my situation. I now want to stabilize on 50 mg ER, but i am so scared that it won't work and that the depression and anxiety get worse. 

 

For those who took the time to read all of this, thank you so much, it is greatly appreciated. Thank you already for your help!

 

Summer

Edited July 2, 2021 by arbor

[arbor]

Hello @Summer29,

 

Welcome to SA.  I'm glad you found us.

It sounds like you've gone through a terrible time.  These medications and getting off of them can cause a lot of unbelievably awful symptoms.  I can understand how crazy and frightening the feelings can be.  The good news is that the symptoms you're feeling now can improve over time as you are able to stabilize.  Moderators can help you with your plan. 

 

To give members the best information, we ask members to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in a list format.  

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

One of the main things for you right now is to stabilize your symptoms.  To do that, it is important to stick with one plan and not introduce changes too quickly.  This site addresses this further:

 

Considerations About Stability Stop Jumping Around 

 

Keep it Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

This next site can give you information about reinstating:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to stop withdrawal symptoms

 

I realize that you are in distress right now, so I recommend this site to support you:

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

 

Magnesium

 

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

This is your Introduction site where you can ask questions and connect with other members.

Again, welcome.

Arbor

 

 

 

[Summer29]

39 minutes ago, arbor said:

Hello @Summer29,

 

Welcome to SA.  I'm glad you found us.

It sounds like you've gone through a terrible time.  These medications and getting off of them can cause a lot of unbelievably awful symptoms.  I can understand how crazy and frightening the feelings can be.  The good news is that the symptoms you're feeling now can improve over time as you are able to stabilize.  Moderators can help you with your plan. 

 

To give members the best information, we ask members to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in a list format.  

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

One of the main things for you right now is to stabilize your symptoms.  To do that, it is important to stick with one plan and not introduce changes too quickly.  This site addresses this further:

 

Considerations About Stability Stop Jumping Around 

 

Keep it Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

This next site can give you information about reinstating:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to stop withdrawal symptoms

 

I realize that you are in distress right now, so I recommend this site to support you:

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

 

Magnesium

 

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

This is your Introduction site where you can ask questions and connect with other members.

Again, welcome.

Arbor

 

 

 

Thank you so much for your response @arbor! I won’t change anything about the 50 mg ER dosage of seroquel for quite a while now, in hopes that i will stabilize. 

 

I’ll update my signature as soon as i can! 

 

Question: is it possible that what i am experiencing could also be protracted prozac withdrawal? As i mentioned, i took the last dose in February 2021 after skipping doses (mistake, i know), and am now experiencing these symptoms.. curious about how late such withdrawal can start to manifest! 

 

For any members who have dealt with similar symptoms and challenges, i would love to hear about how you coped with them or if you have some encouragement, it would be greatly appreciated! 

 

I’ll stay in touch @arbor! 

[getofflex]

Hi @Summer29.  I'm very sorry to hear about your toxic childhood, and the various traumas that you have experienced.  No wonder you became depressed.  

 

On 7/2/2021 at 11:26 AM, Summer29 said:

The Psychiatrist in the emergency room told me, after talking to me for 2 minutes, "take the Prozac again, and you should probably never come off of it, you need it".

That is highly irresponsible and dismissive of that so called doctor.  I'm so sorry you were treated that way.  

 

I do believe there is a good chance that your symptoms are still at least partly from the Prozac withdrawal.  Yes, sometimes there is a delay by several months for withdrawal symptoms to show up.  I've heard of other people not feeling it until 3 months later. 

 

4 hours ago, Summer29 said:

I won’t change anything about the 50 mg ER dosage of seroquel for quite a while now, in hopes that i will stabilize. 

This sounds like a very good plan.  I hope that reinstating to the 50 mg ER Seroquel gives you some help.  If it were me, I would stay on that for a long time, until my system stabilized.  I would give it at least 3 - 6 months, maybe longer.  Listen to your body, and see how you feel.  In the meantime, there are things you can do to cope with your symptoms, and perhaps lessen them some.  Check out the link arbor gave you above on coping with symptoms.  Then, when you are stabilized, you can start a careful and gradual taper of the Seroquel.  

 

And please do update your drug signature with the dates.  It would help if you made the drug sig very concise - just medication names, dosages, and dates, as specific as you can remember, no descriptions or symptoms.  That allows other mods to read your history at a glance and help you without having to read the entire thread.   

 

How are your symptoms now?  Are you sleeping OK?  

 

Let me encourage you by saying you will get better!  That is assuming you take good care of yourself, and don't go back to psychiatric drugs or mind altering substances.  The more we go on and off that stuff, the more it tends to mess up our nervous system.  

 

Here are a couple of simple concepts that help me: 

 

Floating and Acceptance

 

https://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/radical_acceptance_text.html

 

Accept it if there is nothing I can do to change it.

 

Float: just let thoughts and feelings float on by kinda like radio is playing in background.  You hear it but you really aren’t listening to it, you never attach to the words.

Edited July 3, 2021 by getofflex

[Summer29]

3 hours ago, getofflex said:

Hi @Summer29.  I'm very sorry to hear about your toxic childhood, and the various traumas that you have experienced.  No wonder you became depressed.  

 

That is highly irresponsible and dismissive of that so called doctor.  I'm so sorry you were treated that way.  

 

I do believe there is a good chance that your symptoms are still at least partly from the Prozac withdrawal.  Yes, sometimes there is a delay by several months for withdrawal symptoms to show up.  I've heard of other people not feeling it until 3 months later. 

 

This sounds like a very good plan.  I hope that reinstating to the 50 mg ER Seroquel gives you some help.  If it were me, I would stay on that for a long time, until my system stabilized.  I would give it at least 3 - 6 months, maybe longer.  Listen to your body, and see how you feel.  In the meantime, there are things you can do to cope with your symptoms, and perhaps lessen them some.  Check out the link arbor gave you above on coping with symptoms.  Then, when you are stabilized, you can start a careful and gradual taper of the Seroquel.  

 

And please do update your drug signature with the dates.  It would help if you made the drug sig very concise - just medication names, dosages, and dates, as specific as you can remember, no descriptions or symptoms.  That allows other mods to read your history at a glance and help you without having to read the entire thread.   

 

How are your symptoms now?  Are you sleeping OK?  

 

Let me encourage you by saying you will get better!  That is assuming you take good care of yourself, and don't go back to psychiatric drugs or mind altering substances.  The more we go on and off that stuff, the more it tends to mess up our nervous system.  

 

Here are a couple of simple concepts that help me: 

 

Floating and Acceptance

 

https://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/radical_acceptance_text.html

 

Accept it if there is nothing I can do to change it.

 

Float: just let thoughts and feelings float on by kinda like radio is playing in background.  You hear it but you really aren’t listening to it, you never attach to the words.

Hello @getofflex, thanks so much for your kind words. It already helps a lot to know that there are people out there who support and understand me so well. 

 

I felt the Prozac- Tapper right about a month after my last dose, but as i was still taking Seroquel ER 50 mg, maybe that’s what kept it relatively at bay. And now, that i made this switch-mistake with the Seroquel ER/IR and tappering too fast, maybe that was when both the Prozac and the Seroquel-Tapper combined? 

 

I will do so, i’ll listen to my body and not stress to tapper anytime soon. 

 

I am sleeping again, which is great. My symptoms are mostly high anxiety and some depression. I always suffered from intrusive thoughts (self harm OCD, when you’re afraid that you might hurt/ kill yourself, allthough that’s the last thing you want to do), and so this is now very difficult for me, as i have a lot of hopeless thoughts, yet i still want to live so badly. But the OCD mixed with those “dangerous” thoughts” for me make it extremely hard to stay calm. Do you understand what i mean? I don’t want to die - but i am in constant fear of losing control because that’s what my OCD is doing. 

Any tipps would be appreciated.

 

Thanks for your tipps on the thoughts, i already use that technique, but as mentioned, it gets really hard with my current condition. Anybody can relate?

 

But i will not give up, i am a trooper! 🙂 

 

I manage to eat and sleep, and i have a very supportive family/friends, i feel very blessed but still feel very lonely in this, but i think that’s normal.. 

 

Can’t wait to hear from all of you again! 

 

 

[JohnBanes]

Seroquel can be a difficult taper because of insomnia and anxiety.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.  Have you thought about how you will make small dosage reductions?

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Summer29

 

Did Seroquel help you sleep? What is your sleep pattern? What times do you take it now, at what dosages?

[Summer29]

9 hours ago, JohnBanes said:

Seroquel can be a difficult taper because of insomnia and anxiety.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.  Have you thought about how you will make small dosage reductions?

Thanks @JohnBanes! Well i saw the post about Seroquel Tappering here on SA, i will have to switch again from 50 mg ER to 50 mg IR, as there is no lower dose in ER. But i am not quite sure how to do it, so that my nervous system won’t crash again! Help? 

[Summer29]

8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Welcome, @Summer29

 

Did Seroquel help you sleep? What is your sleep pattern? What times do you take it now, at what dosages?

Hi @Altostrata, so happy to read from you. Yes, Seroquel helps me sleep, i was prescribed Seroquel 50 mg ER additional to the Prozac to help me sleep and handle the agitation that Prozac triggered. My sleep pattern is fairly regular, i go to bed at arround 10 pm and get up at around 8 am (it’s summer break where i study). I try to take the Seroquel ER at around 8 PM, but when i am not home at night, i used to take it later when i got home (for example when i went out for dancing), because i feel like it makes me a little drousy. Nowadays i don’t go out at night because of feelings of depression and anxiety, so i take it at 8 PM.

 

I experienced horrible insomnia when i tappered to 37.5 mg IR, the insomnia is now gone since i reinstated 50 mg ER. What i am struggling with now is terrible anhedonia, anxiety and hoplessness, although i know there is hope! I just feel like my old self has been taken away from me, i feel scared to go out with friends.. but i’m trying not to isolate myself! I have a hard time accepting my current state of emotions and physical ability, as i was always a very outgoing and go-do-it-person. But i know many have struggled with these issues and have come out on the other side, right? 

[siderale]

Hello Summer29. I hope things will stabilise with the reinstatement, I am so sorry to read about all that you've gone through. Better days are ahead, and by coming on this forum I hope you will find reassurance and

advice to help you get through this!

 

1 hour ago, Summer29 said:

I just feel like my old self has been taken away from me, i feel scared to go out with friends.. but i’m trying not to isolate myself! I have a hard time accepting my current state of emotions and physical ability, as i was always a very outgoing and go-do-it-person. But i know many have struggled with these issues and have come out on the other side, right?

 

I am experiencing this myself. But I do notice that it is slowly getting easier lately. I'm still anxious about going out, but it doesn't make me as physically sick from anxiety. So I have hope that in some time, genuine joy upon going out with friends will come back. I believe that in the "success stories" part of the forum, other people have talked about this specific symptom.

It's very hard to feel like your old self has been taken away from you. Reading these words just resonates a lot with my current state as well, hence why I reply. But we'll get there! Good luck!!

[Summer29]

12 hours ago, Summer29 said:

Hi @Altostrata, so happy to read from you. Yes, Seroquel helps me sleep, i was prescribed Seroquel 50 mg ER additional to the Prozac to help me sleep and handle the agitation that Prozac triggered. My sleep pattern is fairly regular, i go to bed at arround 10 pm and get up at around 8 am (it’s summer break where i study). I try to take the Seroquel ER at around 8 PM, but when i am not home at night, i used to take it later when i got home (for example when i went out for dancing), because i feel like it makes me a little drousy. Nowadays i don’t go out at night because of feelings of depression and anxiety, so i take it at 8 PM.

 

I experienced horrible insomnia when i tappered to 37.5 mg IR, the insomnia is now gone since i reinstated 50 mg ER. What i am struggling with now is terrible anhedonia, anxiety and hoplessness, although i know there is hope! I just feel like my old self has been taken away from me, i feel scared to go out with friends.. but i’m trying not to isolate myself! I have a hard time accepting my current state of emotions and physical ability, as i was always a very outgoing and go-do-it-person. But i know many have struggled with these issues and have come out on the other side, right? 

@Altostrata @arbor @getofflex i am suffering very much right now and i have very, very dark thoughts. I don’t want to quit but i fear that i am not strong enough. Would a reinstatement of prozac help? 

[arbor]

Hi @Summer29

I just got your post and hear that you are in a very dark place.  Please know you are not alone and these thoughts will pass, even though I know first-hand how horrible they are.  Do everything you can to just get through one moment at a time.  Here is a site that I use to get me past this terrible despair that we often feel in the acute phases of w/d:

"Change the channel" - dealing with cognitive symptoms ...

 

I'll send this now, and then get back to your questions.

BIG, BIG hugs to you Summer💜  This will get better!!!!!

Arbor

[JohnBanes]

Summer29:  I am responding with my nonmedical thoughts to your question as to whether you should reinstate Prozac. 

 

It sounds like you already reinstated the Seroquel within the last couple of weeks and may need to give the reinstatement some time to stabilize.

 

If your signature is correct, you tapered off Prozac in February.  That is a while ago.  You are very unlikely to be having Prozac withdrawal at this point.  It is of course up to you whether to take anti-depressants.  But if you successfully got off them and are trying to quit psychiatric drugs, I question the value of reinstating Prozac at this point.  Again, if you want to be on Prozac because you feel it has therapeutic value, that is of course up to you.

 

 

 

 

[arbor]

Hi again @Summer29

 

These early symptoms are nearly unbearable.  I so sympathize with what you're going through.  It is criminal what these drugs do to our brains.  When you say, "I don't want to quit" are you referring to your w/d from Prozac?  Here are some sites that can help you assess what direction you might want to take.  I suggest browsing the Forum to read what other members have experienced with reinstatement.  At small doses it can alleviate the intensity of acute w/d which may protect your system by providing an element of increased stability from where you can eventually taper very slowly. The further out you are from your last dose, there is some risk of again worsening the situation, so you may want to decide fairly soon.  Alto and Getofflex can advise you further.  There are few words for how awful w/d is.  You will eventually improve, and finally heal, and be able to dance again.  Try not to isolate too much during this time.  Stay in touch with us.  

My heart is with you, Summer. 🙏    

 

Stress During Withdrawal

 

Have you looked at this site?  She has great approaches to the extreme anxiety we may be feeling:

The Dr. Claire Weekes Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

And again, here is this site:

about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms

 

 

[Altostrata]

Quote

November 2019 - August 2020: Prozac 20 mg | August 2020 - February 2021 Prozac 10 mg (skipping doses to tapper | February 2021 off Prozac, 0 mg

 

December 2019 - June 2021 : Seroquel ER 50 mg | June 14th - June 23th Seroquel IR 37.5 mg | June 23th - today reinstated Seroquel 50 mg

 

On 7/2/2021 at 9:26 AM, Summer29 said:

While still at home, i was put on Prozac 20mg, thinking that this was "my" depression returning and that i was broken. The Psychiatrist in the emergency room told me, after talking to me for 2 minutes, "take the Prozac again, and you should probably never come off of it, you need it". This also sticks with me till today. The Prozac made my agitation so bad, i experienced suicidal thoughts (which i now know can happen with SSRI, especially when starting them), and i couldn't make myself feel safe anymore. I was hospitalized and put on Seroquel 50 mg ER in addition.

 

@Summer29 When did you start taking 20mg Prozac again? Did you go to the emergency room because of your adverse reaction to Prozac? Is this when you started Seroquel in December 2019? You continued on the combination of 20mg Prozac and 50mg Seroquel until you started to taper in August 2020?

 

How did you feel while skipping doses of Prozac to taper?

 

What are your worst symptoms now? Are they better or worse at any particular times of day?

 

 

[Summer29]

20 hours ago, siderale said:

Hello Summer29. I hope things will stabilise with the reinstatement, I am so sorry to read about all that you've gone through. Better days are ahead, and by coming on this forum I hope you will find reassurance and

advice to help you get through this!

 

 

I am experiencing this myself. But I do notice that it is slowly getting easier lately. I'm still anxious about going out, but it doesn't make me as physically sick from anxiety. So I have hope that in some time, genuine joy upon going out with friends will come back. I believe that in the "success stories" part of the forum, other people have talked about this specific symptom.

It's very hard to feel like your old self has been taken away from you. Reading these words just resonates a lot with my current state as well, hence why I reply. But we'll get there! Good luck!!

Hi @siderale, thanks so much for your response! Are you also experiencing depression or "just" anxiety? I managed to meet some friends and even my parents (which can be triggering sometimes), so i am proud of that. But at the same time i beat myself up so hard because i don't feel "normal" and can't enjoy the things i'm doing.. Yes, the success stories are what keeps me going at the moment, because it is really horrible, i feel like an infant that can't do anything but lie in bed and wait for it to pass. 

 

I wish you all the power and faith in the world!

 

Simone

[Summer29]

9 hours ago, arbor said:

Hi @Summer29

I just got your post and hear that you are in a very dark place.  Please know you are not alone and these thoughts will pass, even though I know first-hand how horrible they are.  Do everything you can to just get through one moment at a time.  Here is a site that I use to get me past this terrible despair that we often feel in the acute phases of w/d:

"Change the channel" - dealing with cognitive symptoms ...

 

I'll send this now, and then get back to your questions.

BIG, BIG hugs to you Summer💜  This will get better!!!!!

Arbor

Hi @arbor, thank you so much for responding. I'm trying to change "the channel", i really try. The difficult part is, at the moment, i am so scared of my future that i have a very hard time imagining nice things, do you know what i mean? And then there is always this little voice inside of me; when i imagine something nice, the voice tells me "oh, that's not enough to save you, or, this won't make you happy". Can anybody relate to that? I guess this is normal, but it's so freaking hard. Did you have doubts yourself that you won't overcome these thoughts? I feel so so scared and tired.. but you guys give me so much hope. 

[Summer29]

8 hours ago, arbor said:

Hi again @Summer29

 

These early symptoms are nearly unbearable.  I so sympathize with what you're going through.  It is criminal what these drugs do to our brains.  When you say, "I don't want to quit" are you referring to your w/d from Prozac?  Here are some sites that can help you assess what direction you might want to take.  I suggest browsing the Forum to read what other members have experienced with reinstatement.  At small doses it can alleviate the intensity of acute w/d which may protect your system by providing an element of increased stability from where you can eventually taper very slowly. The further out you are from your last dose, there is some risk of again worsening the situation, so you may want to decide fairly soon.  Alto and Getofflex can advise you further.  There are few words for how awful w/d is.  You will eventually improve, and finally heal, and be able to dance again.  Try not to isolate too much during this time.  Stay in touch with us.  

My heart is with you, Summer. 🙏    

 

Stress During Withdrawal

 

Have you looked at this site?  She has great approaches to the extreme anxiety we may be feeling:

The Dr. Claire Weekes Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

And again, here is this site:

about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms

 

 

I'm just so scared that this is what i will be like without meds. I know that's normal to doubt and ask yourself these kind of questions, but at the moment, they drive me insane. Yes, i meant "i don't want to quit" = i don't want to quit my recovery journey, as in i want to keep going without going back to Prozac. But i am just so so scared that i lose control over my thoughts. Thank you so so much for being there, i don't know what i would do without you guys, it is all so confusing and frightening! 

[Summer29]

7 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

 

@Summer29 When did you start taking 20mg Prozac again? Did you go to the emergency room because of your adverse reaction to Prozac? Is this when you started Seroquel in December 2019? You continued on the combination of 20mg Prozac and 50mg Seroquel until you started to taper in August 2020?

 

How did you feel while skipping doses of Prozac to taper?

 

What are your worst symptoms now? Are they better or worse at any particular times of day?

 

 

Hi @Altostrata I started taking the 20 mg of Prozac in November 2019, after i tried hormonal birth control and quit that after two months, because i felt horribly depressed on it. Then insomnia hit and i was in a constant panic attac, so i went to the Emergency Room and they put me back on 20 mg of Prozac. What happened after that was that my agitation and fear of suicide got so bad that i had to be admitted to a clinic (i never wanted to die, it was just the fear of losing control over it and the thoughts of "i don't want to feel like this anymore", pretty much similar to what it is like now in Seroquel-Withdrawal). When i was in the clinic, they started me on Seroquel, to push the effect of Prozac but also help me sleep. 

 

Yes, i continued the combination of the two meds until i started tappering the Prozac in August 2020. Skipping doses felt pretty ok, until i got to the stage where i would take 10 mg every 3-4 days (i know in hindsight that this was a huge mistake, but i had no guidance from doctors and didn't know SA yet). I mentioned it to my therapist (which is a very lovely, empathetic person and believes in me), and she told me to stop taking it, because it would cause fluctuations (is that a correct word?) in my brain that made me feel bad. Then i experienced some higher anxiety and a small bit of depression around one month after stopping Prozac completely, then it passed. What came back where little panic attacks, but i just attributed them to my stressful exam-season. That was about a month ago now. 

 

My worst symptoms now are definitely depression, suicidal thoughts, intrusive thoughts about how everything is pointless (this is the major cause of my depression right now, it feels like almost an existential depression), sleep was worse the last two days because i am terrified of waking up the next day and feeling like that again. The physical symptoms don't bother me as much, i have digestion issues and low apetite, and i feel like my body is under a current of electricity, especially when those hopeless thoughts hit. Is that a common symptom?

 

Thank you all so much for your encouraging words and if i may say so, please don't stop, i need them very badly. 

 

Summer

[siderale]

 

Hello again, I hope you feel even a tiny bit better today!

2 hours ago, Summer29 said:

Hi @siderale, thanks so much for your response! Are you also experiencing depression or "just" anxiety? I managed to meet some friends and even my parents (which can be triggering sometimes), so i am proud of that. But at the same time i beat myself up so hard because i don't feel "normal" and can't enjoy the things i'm doing..

 

Fact is, I recognise my own withdrawal experience so much in those words of yours!!

Like, I was always an anxious person, luckily enough I was never depressed (everyone gets sad/go through hardships, but I was never a depressive person). And what told me I was in withdrawal and not a relapse, was that I felt depressed on top of the anxiety... Last month, for the first time in my life, I understood what some friends of mine who suffer from depression described: "you feel completely empty, a shadow or an empty shell". It's a scary feeling because you feel so, so out of tune with you, with the world, with everything...

 

And much like you: I got horribly sad because I didn't feel normal, even with my friends, I just could not enjoy anything. Not even my "solo" hobbies and creative outlets. I just felt weird and empty 24/7. So really: been there! And what I can say to you is that it is a symptom, it is temporary. For me, it is getting better, slowly but surely, I don't feel back to normal but the anhedonia is gone. The other day I laughed watching a stupid video and this didn't happen for weeks/month. Joy is around the corner, it will come back to us.

 

Sending thoughts and strength to you as well! You'll get there!

[Summer29]

18 hours ago, arbor said:

Hi again @Summer29

 

These early symptoms are nearly unbearable.  I so sympathize with what you're going through.  It is criminal what these drugs do to our brains.  When you say, "I don't want to quit" are you referring to your w/d from Prozac?  Here are some sites that can help you assess what direction you might want to take.  I suggest browsing the Forum to read what other members have experienced with reinstatement.  At small doses it can alleviate the intensity of acute w/d which may protect your system by providing an element of increased stability from where you can eventually taper very slowly. The further out you are from your last dose, there is some risk of again worsening the situation, so you may want to decide fairly soon.  Alto and Getofflex can advise you further.  There are few words for how awful w/d is.  You will eventually improve, and finally heal, and be able to dance again.  Try not to isolate too much during this time.  Stay in touch with us.  

My heart is with you, Summer. 🙏    

 

Stress During Withdrawal

 

Have you looked at this site?  She has great approaches to the extreme anxiety we may be feeling:

The Dr. Claire Weekes Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

And again, here is this site:

about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms

 

 

@arbor how did you cope with the suicidal thoughts? i want to live so badly, but my mind keeps telling me that i am broken and that i will always feel this way, it scares me so much, i constantly check if i am up to hurting myself allthough i just want to live!! 

[arbor]

Hello dear @Summer29I am so glad you are reaching out.  I can feel suicidal for the same reasons you describe.  Above all, it seems too terrible to spend a life in this state of mind.  This is the thought that can hook us.  Remember if you can that the depression and anxiety, the terrible, terrible darkness are not caused by you, but by the interference of the drugs.  It takes a long and arduous time for our brains to recover.  In the meantime, we can't listen to the destructive thoughts. We can't believe them.  Ignore them as much as possible.  Here are some methods I've been using that I'll share right now, and we can explore more later.  When the darkness is unbearable, I reach out as you are doing.  Another person, someone we trust, can help us keep a foot in reality.  Often I find that standing up and not lying down changes my thought pattern.  It helps if I can get some exercise (even just running in place or quick jumping jacks, and especially if I go for an extended walk).  Other times, I ask myself to just watch the thoughts as if I were babysitting them.  I notice you have this ability.  I consider it a strength of maturity, but you seem to have it at a young age.  Then another method I use is reading material that I find grounding and wise.  This helps give me a sense of direction when everything is caving in or falling apart.  Oh!  And breathe--both in and out, deeply.  I think there are studies showing that this reduces cortisol in the blood. 

I will check in again later as I have to go to work.  

 

Know that you are in my heart, Summer💗

Arbor

[getofflex]

On 7/3/2021 at 4:45 PM, Summer29 said:

And now, that i made this switch-mistake with the Seroquel ER/IR and tappering too fast, maybe that was when both the Prozac and the Seroquel-Tapper combined? 

It could very well be.  

 

On 7/3/2021 at 4:45 PM, Summer29 said:

But the OCD mixed with those “dangerous” thoughts” for me make it extremely hard to stay calm.

These thoughts are a common withdrawal symptom.  I had them a lot, and still do to a certain extent, especially on bad days.  The thing to to do is accept and float:  

 

Floating and Acceptance

 

Accept it if there is nothing I can do to change it.

 

Float: just let thoughts and feelings float on by kinda like radio is playing in background.  You hear it but you really aren’t listening to it, you never attach to the words.

 

 

 

 

[getofflex]

14 hours ago, Summer29 said:

Yes, i meant "i don't want to quit" = i don't want to quit my recovery journey, as in i want to keep going without going back to Prozac

@Summer29I don't think you need to reinstate to prozac, personally.  It is normal to have waves and windows in recovery, and it sounds like you got into a wave.  For me personally, I decided to tough it out whenever I got in a wave, and wait until the wave passed, and it always did.  Now here I am almost 4 years later, and I'm over 99% off Lexapro!  

 

As @JohnBanessaid, you recently reinstated seroquel, so give your system a chance to settle down and get used to the new seroquel dose.  Since you went back up to Seroquel 50 mg, overall do you feel better, worse, or the same? If worse, do you feel significantly worse, or are you just having a couple of bad days here and there?  

 

Edited July 5, 2021 by getofflex

[Altostrata]

18 hours ago, Summer29 said:

they put me back on 20 mg of Prozac. What happened after that was that my agitation and fear of suicide got so bad that i had to be admitted to a clinic (i never wanted to die, it was just the fear of losing control over it and the thoughts of "i don't want to feel like this anymore"

 

This indicates you were reacting poorly to TOO MUCH PROZAC. 

 

18 hours ago, Summer29 said:

Skipping doses felt pretty ok, until i got to the stage where i would take 10 mg every 3-4 days (i know in hindsight that this was a huge mistake, but i had no guidance from doctors and didn't know SA yet).

 

How did you feel then?

 

18 hours ago, Summer29 said:

Then i experienced some higher anxiety and a small bit of depression around one month after stopping Prozac completely, then it passed. What came back where little panic attacks, but i just attributed them to my stressful exam-season. That was about a month ago now....

My worst symptoms now are definitely depression, suicidal thoughts, intrusive thoughts about how everything is pointless (this is the major cause of my depression right now, it feels like almost an existential depression), sleep was worse the last two days because i am terrified of waking up the next day and feeling like that again. The physical symptoms don't bother me as much, i have digestion issues and low apetite, and i feel like my body is under a current of electricity, especially when those hopeless thoughts hit. Is that a common symptom?

 

This sounds just like protracted withdrawal from Prozac.

 

It's possible an increase in Seroquel to 50mg might help, especially with sleep, but you have to understand -- you're taking a drug that is supposed to slow people down and often causes emotional anesthesia. So please don't be alarmed about the normal effects of the drug.

[Summer29]

15 hours ago, arbor said:

Hello dear @Summer29I am so glad you are reaching out.  I can feel suicidal for the same reasons you describe.  Above all, it seems too terrible to spend a life in this state of mind.  This is the thought that can hook us.  Remember if you can that the depression and anxiety, the terrible, terrible darkness are not caused by you, but by the interference of the drugs.  It takes a long and arduous time for our brains to recover.  In the meantime, we can't listen to the destructive thoughts. We can't believe them.  Ignore them as much as possible.  Here are some methods I've been using that I'll share right now, and we can explore more later.  When the darkness is unbearable, I reach out as you are doing.  Another person, someone we trust, can help us keep a foot in reality.  Often I find that standing up and not lying down changes my thought pattern.  It helps if I can get some exercise (even just running in place or quick jumping jacks, and especially if I go for an extended walk).  Other times, I ask myself to just watch the thoughts as if I were babysitting them.  I notice you have this ability.  I consider it a strength of maturity, but you seem to have it at a young age.  Then another method I use is reading material that I find grounding and wise.  This helps give me a sense of direction when everything is caving in or falling apart.  Oh!  And breathe--both in and out, deeply.  I think there are studies showing that this reduces cortisol in the blood. 

I will check in again later as I have to go to work.  

 

Know that you are in my heart, Summer💗

Arbor

Dear @arbor, thank you so much for your warm words. It helps to know that others are having similar challenges. I think the tough part right now is that both times i felt these feelings (suicidal, hopelessness), i turned to medication. And now, knowing that the medication i took/am currently still taking plays a big role in this, it is so hard not to feel "hopeless", because there is no quick fix and my brain is used to quick fixes, does that make sense? I also struggle with the thought of "why me?". I know that is a very shallow thought, as there are so many people on this earth who suffer from illnesses and diseases, but it just keeps coming up and i don't like it at all! It feels almost like a neuro-emotion.. Thanks for your tipps, i'm trying my best ❤️

[Summer29]

10 hours ago, getofflex said:

@Summer29I don't think you need to reinstate to prozac, personally.  It is normal to have waves and windows in recovery, and it sounds like you got into a wave.  For me personally, I decided to tough it out whenever I got in a wave, and wait until the wave passed, and it always did.  Now here I am almost 4 years later, and I'm over 99% off Lexapro!  

 

As @JohnBanessaid, you recently reinstated seroquel, so give your system a chance to settle down and get used to the new seroquel dose.  Since you went back up to Seroquel 50 mg, overall do you feel better, worse, or the same? If worse, do you feel significantly worse, or are you just having a couple of bad days here and there?  

 

Hi @getofflex, so i went back on Seroquel 50 mg ER last friday, since then, i sleep fairly good. My mood has not really improved, but i am able to do more stuff. I experience many waves in a day, sometimes i have a window where i feel very at peace with myself and this journey, and then the next moment, i feel like there's not point in even trying, it feels like standing on the edge of an abyss and looking down. But then i get up again. So i would say, i am better as far as being able to do stuff again, i am not paralyzed by fear as much as i used to be, but the thoughts are in a bad place. I keep reminding myself that acceptance is key and that i will heal from this. 

[Summer29]

6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

This indicates you were reacting poorly to TOO MUCH PROZAC. 

 

 

How did you feel then?

 

 

This sounds just like protracted withdrawal from Prozac.

 

It's possible an increase in Seroquel to 50mg might help, especially with sleep, but you have to understand -- you're taking a drug that is supposed to slow people down and often causes emotional anesthesia. So please don't be alarmed about the normal effects of the drug.

When i was skipping doses, i felt that my anxiety (main issue: fear of becoming depressed and that leading to harming myself) was arising. I was scared to drive my car (still am, but only on highways with a lot of cars). I also had morning cortisol spykes and low mood in the morning, but then the pharmacist recommended high doses of magnesium, which helped a great deal back then! Now, not so much, but i am also not sure how smart it is to use magnesium when my system is already in uprage?

 

Thanks for your insight on the protracted prozac withdrawal. As i already mentioned in a previous post, it is hard for me right now because i always turned to medication when such hopeless and suicidal thoughts hit. And now, knowing that the medication most likely plays a huge role in this whole deal, it makes me feel so vulnerable and hopeless, because i am used to getting a quick fix. Have you seen similar cases with protracted withdrawal from prozac? 

 

[JohnBanes]

Summer29:  It is good that you are recognizing that you are expecting a quick fix.  Being mis-medicated with psychiatric drugs can be a severely traumatizing experience with long lasting damage.  It may take years to get your life back, and full recovery may never come.  It is important to start thinking about this as a marathon, and take things day by day.  The days add up, and it's easier to get through them without a false (and repeatedly disappointed) expectation that full recovery is around the corner.  Hopefully we come to see that some life is better than no life, even if the life we are left with is something less than what we could have had.  There is a reason folks getting past withdrawal are called "survivors".  The experience is difficult, and it represents a significant victory to get through it.  

 

 

[arbor]

Hi @Summer29--

These are not unusual thoughts to have:

8 hours ago, Summer29 said:

it is so hard not to feel "hopeless", because there is no quick fix and my brain is used to quick fixes, does that make sense? I also struggle with the thought of "why me?". I know that is a very shallow thought, as there are so many people on this earth who suffer from illnesses and diseases, but it just keeps coming up and i don't like it at all! It feels almost like a neuro-emotion.

Yes, I think you're right that neuro-emotions can hijack our thoughts.  Mine are regularly hijacked.  The intensity makes it hard not to believe them, and also for me, hard to "gate" my reactions and so the pain spirals.  This week I've been focusing on how to learn to "gate" (or not react to them) better.  All of this is so hard to accept, but we have little choice.  I'm taking each day, one day at a time.  The more I can ignore my despairing brain, and find even the smallest place of rest, the better I feel both for the moment and the future, as I want to keep my mind as calm as possible so that it can heal to the best of its ability.  Our minds and bodies have been ransacked.  There are still resources we can find access to--and that's what keeps me going.

Thinking of you today, dear Summer💜

Arbor

[Greatful]

@Summer29Hi. Welcome.  I can really feel your pain.  I am in WD from Prozac and Seroquel.  I struggle with the same depressing thoughts.   My heart goes out to you.  I know how hard it is to try and ignore them.  Tell yourself I can get through today, I made it through yesterday and I will worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.  Sounds like you have had a few moment of light and that tells you that you will feel it again.  This is a hard journey, but each day that goes by you are healing. 

It is good that you are getting sleep.

Keep posting and talking,  you are not alone.  Reach out we all need and want encouragement and to feel the support.

Do you have support that lives with you? 

You are  strong.  We can do this together

[Summer29]

13 hours ago, arbor said:

Hi @Summer29--

These are not unusual thoughts to have:

Yes, I think you're right that neuro-emotions can hijack our thoughts.  Mine are regularly hijacked.  The intensity makes it hard not to believe them, and also for me, hard to "gate" my reactions and so the pain spirals.  This week I've been focusing on how to learn to "gate" (or not react to them) better.  All of this is so hard to accept, but we have little choice.  I'm taking each day, one day at a time.  The more I can ignore my despairing brain, and find even the smallest place of rest, the better I feel both for the moment and the future, as I want to keep my mind as calm as possible so that it can heal to the best of its ability.  Our minds and bodies have been ransacked.  There are still resources we can find access to--and that's what keeps me going.

Thinking of you today, dear Summer💜

Arbor

Dear @arbor, you are so right. And you are so strong! i wish i could say that i am doing better - allthough, maybe right now, i am doing a little better - but it's a struggle. Thanks for being there ❤️

[Summer29]

12 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Summer29Hi. Welcome.  I can really feel your pain.  I am in WD from Prozac and Seroquel.  I struggle with the same depressing thoughts.   My heart goes out to you.  I know how hard it is to try and ignore them.  Tell yourself I can get through today, I made it through yesterday and I will worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.  Sounds like you have had a few moment of light and that tells you that you will feel it again.  This is a hard journey, but each day that goes by you are healing. 

It is good that you are getting sleep.

Keep posting and talking,  you are not alone.  Reach out we all need and want encouragement and to feel the support.

Do you have support that lives with you? 

You are  strong.  We can do this together

Dear @Greatful, thanks so much for your reply. Have you been prescribed these drugs for depression and anxiety? I have my boyfriend that lives with me, but he's mostly at work (he's a chef, hence irregular work hours), and i try not to isolate too much, but my brain keeps telling me "they don't understand", and then that makes me feel so so lonely. But i'm making an effort to get out and do something! 

[Summer29]

I also experience total discomfort in my body. It feels like i always want to lie down, like i will faint anytime. But then, when i lie down, i don't feel comfortable at all. It feels like having fever aches in your body. Is that a common withdrawal symptom? Any tipps for that?

[Greatful]

  @Summer29 I was proscribed Prozac for panic, obsessive thinking and mild depression over 20 tears ago.  Every time I would try and go off I would have waves of panic.  It was probably withdrawal, but I didn't know any better and of course the doctors were clueless.  I have tried to get off about 4-5 times.  

I feel weak and flu like.  I don't get much for aches but definitely feel horrible, weak, shaky, nausea, depression, anxiety.  You  may experience many weird things.  If you can, you should look at the Symptoms & Self-care forum.  They have threads of members sharing the symptoms they have and giving helpful ideas on coping.  The depression is very hard to go through.  I am in a bad spell right now.

 

 

The only ones who can really know how this feels is someone going through it.   Your boyfriend may not know how you feel exactly but he can see your in pain and will do what ever he can to ease your pain.  Sometimes just telling him you need him to hold you and reassure you are going to make it through this.  You also have a lot of support here on SA.  Keep posting and letting things out.

 

I try and go for a walk almost everyday.  Go outside as much as you can.  I will sit on my covered front porch a lot, just to get out of the house and to hear the birds singing and hear the wind through the trees.   

 

Have you had a chance to read the success stories.  They can be helpful.

 

Go in the forms Withdrawal dialogues & encouragements  There is some you tube videos that are very encouraging by Michael Priebe.  

 

You can go to the forum and look on the introductions and find people to connect.

 

Time is what we have to give ourselves.

Patience and self-care.

 

Here is a hug to get you through your day🤗

[Altostrata]

On 7/7/2021 at 12:10 AM, Summer29 said:

I also experience total discomfort in my body. It feels like i always want to lie down, like i will faint anytime. But then, when i lie down, i don't feel comfortable at all. It feels like having fever aches in your body. Is that a common withdrawal symptom? Any tipps for that?

 

At what times of day do you feel this? Is it better or worse at any particular times?

 

Are you taking 50mg Seroquel ER?