Escitalopram21: WD from escitalopram and quetiapine

[Escitalopram21]

@Altostrata

i have Done something really stupid. 
i started taking Wellbutrin because it was pushed by my therpist and psychiatrist because of ADD traits. 

how fast would i see it if i had an adverse reaction to the drug? 

[Greatful]

@Escitalopram21  Why would she suggest more drugs if you were doing better........Why does she/he think that the drugs will help? I heard from on here one should not take on new diagnose when they are going through WD....there is no way of knowing what is what...WD can mimic other things......Besides is Wellbutrin even the normal drug for ADHD?

 

Remember drugs dull our emotions.  Can this affect your ability to process pain/emotions.  These are questions that you will have to ask and decided for yourself.

   I do understand we want quick fixes and only you can make the choice of what is right for you.

But please at least research and learn about the drugs and how they work so you are confident/or informed when you make the decsion.  You can weight out the risk and benefits.

 

Did you ever watch Medicating Normal  Here is the web site https://medicatingnormal.com/

Here is several interviews  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGiM-snSAzyusMfWgPyH-tENPdjTSRqSi

 

  Did you do any research on Wellbutrin and the side affect? 

https://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.html  check here for interaction between your drugs and here for the side affects https://www.drugs.com/wellbutrin.html 

make sure to look at the for the healthcare professionals  section also. Much more indepth.

Wellbutrin is a activating drug. I'm not sure if it does with Lex but others have talked about how Wellbutrin changes their other ssri.  I really don't know enough to give out proper advice. So please ask a mod for their help. 

 

My heart goes out to you.❤️

I know how hard this is both WD and trauma.❤️

[Escitalopram21]

Does anyone know what would happen if i would leave irt out after 3 days of 150mg Wellbutrin? 
I can’t make up my mind, i feel so easily influenced when my therapist and everyone around me thinks i should have medication.

I didnt know about interaction between Lexapro and thought i made a good decision. I thought that if i have to be on meds i thought id choose one that is not hard coming off. But i didnt know that Wellbutrin affects How lexapro ”works”.

 

@brassmonkey@Altostrata@Happy2Heal

[Happy2Heal]

1 hour ago, Escitalopram21 said:

Does anyone know what would happen if i would leave irt out after 3 days of 150mg Wellbutrin? 
I can’t make up my mind, i feel so easily influenced when my therapist and everyone around me thinks i should have medication.

I didnt know about interaction between Lexapro and thought i made a good decision. I thought that if i have to be on meds i thought id choose one that is not hard coming off. But i didnt know that Wellbutrin affects How lexapro ”works”.

 

@brassmonkey@Altostrata@Happy2Heal

I am def no expert on this but if it were me, I'd taper off the wellbutrin right away.

 

I am totally confused by why anyone would Rx this drug for, what? ADD?  A lot of people who were put on antidepressants suddenly got diagnosed with ADD when they had no symptoms in the past....before being on psych drugs.

It was likely the side effects of the ADs that caused these sudden symptoms of a disorder they never had before.

 

 

You are in withdrawal, your symptoms could "look like" a lot of things. but it's just withdrawal. 

 

 

I know it's hard but you need to make a decision about what is right for YOU and only you. Your therapist, your family, your friends; NONE of these people suffer the consequences of what you choose to put in YOUR BODY. 

 

It's easy to give in to pressure when you are dealing with WD recovery symptoms.  we all go thru this, the urge to alleviate our symptoms is strong and it sounds so inviting when we are offered something that sounds like it might help. Don't beat yourself up about that. I tried multiple supplements even though I knew that was not advised here, and they either didn't help or made symptoms temporarily worse. I didn't want to give up the mindset of the quick and easy fix in a pill.

 

 

 

 

 

Ask yourself if these pills have ever done anything good for you. Ask yourself if the side effects or adverse effects were worth whatever benefit you thought you got from them. 

 

 

 

Once you decide what it is that YOU want for YOU, it will become easier to resist the urge to give in to other people's pressure.

You can perhaps ask them to show you non drug coping methods. Or you can tell them you are going thru a tough time right now and it may be hard for them to witness, but you know that you are on your way to RECOVERY and adding a new chemical will only slow that recovery, so please respect my wishes and don't offer me more drugs (IF this is in fact what you decide)

 

I don't know if this helps any.

 

someone with more experience will need to guide you as far as what to do with the wellbutrin. 

good luck!
 

 

 

[Escitalopram21]

My husband is really supportive, he doesn’t Force me in any direction!

My therapist suggested ADD and then i started doing research and the more i read the more I felt like THIS IS ME. And then everyone in an ADHD group I am in are soooo happy with their meds and my psychiatrist recommended Wellbutrin. I had the prescription for a long time and have been back and forth a long time. And one day I gave in. But now when i ”feel” bad i only feel a sense of something is wrong. Not the real feeling, i didnt remember that it was this way. I tricked my brain to believe that it would help me. And sure it dulls everything but i can’t recognize feelings. 
 

I know i have to make up my mind. It just hurts so much. So so much to feel everything. And the hypervigilance is so bad everyday. And the rumination. And i know that you know all of this 🙏🏻
But i dont understand How anyone can go through wd and deal with trauma at the same time, i look up to you so so much! @Happy2Heal

[Escitalopram21]

22 hours ago, Greatful said:

Why would she suggest more drugs if you were doing better........Why does she/he think that the drugs will help?

I think that is what is standard procedure here, that going into traumatherapy you should have proper medication to not overwhelm yourself. Saw the psychiatrist that prescribed the wellbutrin and she said it is good that i also have the 3 mg of lex when doing traumatherapy.

 

Thank you for your answer! I dont know what to do and How to deal with everything. And your answers always provides such comfort ❤️ Hope you are doing well!

[brassmonkey]

If you've only taken it for three (3) days then just go ahead and stop, no need to taper. If you have been having a strong reaction to it then it may take several days for your body to stabilize once you stop.

[Greatful]

@Escitalopram21  I  am so sorry you are struggling with all this...Remember you are not alone, many of us have/will question/ look for the right answer and come to their own decision.

 

Just do research on these drugs and not just go with what  Big Pharma/ what the doctors tell you.   They are getting their information from Big Pharma.  Then you can weight out the risk/benefits.......

Look at the other side of the coin and how the research on these drugs if small and how they affect you long term......Even my new Psychiatrist  is aware that the Chemical Imbalance theory is false.  If I remember right she did acknowledge that we really don't know what these drugs are doing. 

I hear this is  good book  Anatomy of an Epidemic  By Robert Whitaker

Here is a interview with him

http://Robert Whitaker, author Anatomy of an Epidemic.

 

If you were doing okay on the 3mg lex, maybe you could just stick with that.  I would get off the Wellbutrin and try it will just the Lex for awhile.  That's what I would do/am doing trying to get off the lex and the poly drugging from last winter. (and believe me there has been times that I thought I must need something any thing to feel better.  Hubby is good at reminding me, no I don't need anything else....I need to get off of them lol...  But I am not in your skin so you need  to come to  your own decision.❤️

 

Why are you doing deep trauma work right now?  My therapist told me last summer that I was to unstable to do EDMR therapy.  We just continue to work together as things come up.  As far as the ADD goes...I can look up half my symptoms and find a diagnosis.   Please try and wait until you are stable to look for a  new diagnosis.  

 

I am having to face some childhood trauma right now the same as you.  No it is not fun when you are in WD but Molly just reminds me this is my journey right now. We will get through this and can heal.  

 

You keep going back to the mind frame that you are sick.  Why is that?  Trauma is a not a medical illness... 

Here is a link to how the DSM for  was devised https://youtu.be/-Nd40Uy6tbQ

Dr James Davis Ph.D.  

 

Did you ever look up the Therapy in a Nut shell.......She has some clips on Trauma.......

 

I am here for you fellow comrade in arms......What ever you decide❤️

Edited February 20, 2022 by Greatful

[Altostrata]

Do you feel better or worse after taking Wellbutrin?

 

If you decide you need additional drugs, please confer with your prescriber about any adverse effects you get from the new drugs. It's their responsibility, not ours.

 

Let us know when you want to taper off.

[Greatful]

On 11/23/2021 at 1:46 AM, Escitalopram21 said:

I have been trying to make sense of things and I belive I have sorted out the episodes in my life when i experienced these scary distorted thoughts, because i have had them before. I experienced them on my meds too but i THINK it was when first starting to take lexapro and after i ct’d and started again after giving birth to my son 8 y ago. When i first started lexapro it took my about a year or more to actually feel ok but i believed so hard in the meds so i kept taking them.

@Escitalopram21 I looked back a little ways and found this.......This makes me wonder if the drugs are causing or at least making things worse...... These drugs can make us think and see things.... You probably have WD to from the quick CT's. If all this started when you started the Lex that makes me wonder.

Did you watch Medicating Normal?  There is a girl on the documentary that started to hear people talking to her this was after she started taking meds......She continually got worse she is now drug free and going to collage.......https://medicatingnormal.com/

 

I don't want to scare you but also think you should consider this......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Escitalopram21]

@Altostrata

Thsnk you for your response. 
I had a long chat today with my husband and We want me off the drugs. I feel worse physically on the Wellbutrin, more social and easier to sort my thoughts.
I dont want any additional drugs. it is the decision i have come to.

[Altostrata]

If you've been taking Wellbutrin for only a few days, you can simply stop.

 

Your "ADD" may be withdrawal syndrome from going on and off several drugs.

[Escitalopram21]

Thank you @brassmonkey

much appreciated

[Escitalopram21]

@GreatfulMy parents got divorced a month after i went into withdrawal. That and withdrawal have brought up a lot of traumas so my therapist wanted us to work on those. I really like her but she doesn’t believe in withdrawal.

 

Thank you for bringibg that up, to be honest i have been thinking in these terms myself. I remember having as scary thoughts when starting the lex as i have now in withdrawal. So i am not sure it has done anything to help me. 
I have a much harder time accepting a life without seroquel than the lex. Seroquel took away all hypervigilance and questioning myself but i see now that i was close to braindead on them.

[Escitalopram21]

Thank you @Altostrata

[Greatful]

@Escitalopram21

Here is a link to the the UK's book for therapist to help them understand and help clients in WD

https://prescribeddrug.info/

Do you see your therapist in person?  Here is a link to the UK'S  information on stopping ssri's

https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/treatments-and-wellbeing/stopping-antidepressants

Print format   "Stopping antidepressants" leaflet

 

If you therapist is going to be able to help you she should be more open to WD..

 Bayliss Frederick (who is a therapist and has gone through protracted WD from Benzos) talk in her book Recovery and Renewal that all counsellor should Know "  To treat a client in withdrawal without first acquiring in-depth knowledge of the drug and withdrawal syndrome can result in  unintentional harm. A good understanding of the withdrawal effect of antidepressant and benzodiazepines is essential"

My therapist Molly is more open to learning about wd and I hope what these drugs really do.

She claims she is going to watch Medicating Normal,  she watched the trailer and found it i i intriguing.  I think she has a ways to go but at least she is acknowledging it........She said she is learning from me lol.......I told her she is on the front lines and show educated herself for her clients.......She did say that she had a client that was reacting bad from a new drug and she told her to get off of it. 

 

You can do this and be a healthy woman, mom and wife❤️  Thank goodness, we got off the Seroquel there is evidence now on how damaging it can be to your brain in long term use.

I guess the link I sent you on the interview with Robert Whitaker didn't work so here it is again.

 

[Happy2Heal]

On 2/20/2022 at 11:53 AM, Escitalopram21 said:

 

 

 

I know i have to make up my mind. It just hurts so much. So so much to feel everything. And the hypervigilance is so bad everyday. And the rumination. And i know that you know all of this 🙏🏻
But i dont understand How anyone can go through wd and deal with trauma at the same time, i look up to you so so much! @Happy2Heal

 

oh there's no reason to look up to me, hon, I haven't done anything extraordinary at all. It is hard and I just deal with it the way I dealt with WD, one day at a time. I have many more good days than bad.  

 

Yes I still have PTSD but I just keep reminding myself that I these symptoms are a testament to the fact that I SURVIVED and then I concentrate hard on the fact that the trauma is in the PAST and work to celebrate the survival aspect and focus on that.

 

I prefer having PTSD to being dead. My life is mostly very good, and there are a lot worse things I could have to deal with. I wasn't paralyzed for example. I don't have a terrible painful terminal illness. I just have the after effects of having gone thru some unusually difficult events and having SURVIVED them. 

 

it takes a kind of reframing of events. I work on this every day and although I admit I do get tired of the hypervigilance and flashbacks and stuff, I still very much prefer those minor issues to not having a life at all.

 

 

Pain lets you know that You are fully alive. It also means that you will most surely experience great joy. You are still in recovery but you will get there and I want to believe it will be well worth the wait. I really believe it will happen for you too.

I can't see any reason why it wouldn't.

 

just go at a pace that is comfortable for you

 

a couple of years ago I wondered if I would ever really get to where I am now but I did and the time really went by quickly.

I barely remember how awful WD was. These days I have to  laugh at myself when I think one bad night is tough,  when during WD I endure months and months almost no sleep at all.

 I take sleeping well for granted now. I take not having constant panic and dread for granted now. I bet you will get to this place as well.

 

be very very kind to yourself. You are a strong person and should celebrate all that you have done to get where you are now.

 

you deserve to feel good and you will, again, some time soon.

 

I would urge you to not delve too deeply into trauma work. The traumas are all in the past, I can't honestly see any reason to push thru that now, this will all be there for you when you are recovered from WD. It will be far less intense and far less scary once your brain has healed from these terrible drugs.

 

 

[Happy2Heal]

On 2/20/2022 at 11:53 AM, Escitalopram21 said:

And the hypervigilance is so bad everyday. And the rumination. And i know that you know all of this 🙏🏻

 

what you are describing is withdrawal symptoms, and may only be exacerbated by PTSD. 

 

I don't have rumination as a PTSD symptom, I'm not even sure that's on any official list...?

 

hypervigilance will be heightened during WD but will almost surely become manageable when you are off the drug completely.
 

Some of the symptoms of WD , esp from Lexapro, are intense waves of gut wrenching sorrow and pain. Your brain may want to find a "reason" for feeling this way and- OR- you may actually be finally grieving for things that happened while you were drugged and numb and unable to feel the way an un drugged person feels- 

but always please keep in mind that events that may have brought these feelings are all in the PAST.  they have no power over you except if you let them.

I think the brain healing from the effects of the drug as well as the possible delayed grief,  I think these things account for much of the emotional turmoil of withdrawal and recovery.

 

I would seriously re consider that what you are going thru now is trauma related.  It may be colored by your past traumas but it may be more that the actual withdrawal is traumatic now. 
Now that I am fully off all drugs, I do NOT that the gut wrenching despair and sadness, I have much more manageable emotions

 

One thing that helped me to survive coming off the lexapro, was focusing as much as possible on only the PRESENT MOMENT

and nothing more.

 

It worries me that your therapist doesn't seem to acknowledge withdrawal

I worry that she is causing you totally unnecessary additional suffering

 

these people often have the best of intentions but unless they understand the REALITY of withdrawal they are pretty much useless to us

 

I would see one for support, for help with CBT, for help with mediation and mindfulness, I'd take up yoga and maybe swimming and hang out with fun loving friends and focus on finding as much joy as you can in your daily life

 

and put off all that trauma stuff

honestly I would if I were you

 

just my humble opinion

I forget how old you are, but I think I'm a bit older and with the experience of my years, I really truly think you are causing yourself unnecessary pain if you don't try to mostly focus on just getting thru WD recovery

 

I say this from my heart and from my perspective as a person of a certain age LOL

 

 

 

 

[Escitalopram21]

On 2/22/2022 at 6:26 AM, Happy2Heal said:

 

hypervigilance will be heightened during WD but will almost surely become manageable when you are off the drug completely.

Is hypervigilance a side effect from lex? 
Is there a list of side effects that people have experienced not just the ”official” one that comes with the drug?

My husband and I are thinking about having me stay on the 3 mg for a few years until our kids are a little bit older. I have already lost 3 y of my life to drugs and i have a daughter who is 4 y now and a boy age 8. Id rather loose a few years of my own life Than more years of their childhood.
 

About the therapy. One reason to why i would do it now is because i already applied for it. I dont have insurence that covers therapy and i have applied to get it funded by the government. If i dont do it now i Will loose my ”right”. So i am in a bit of a peckle. 
I need to talk to my Therapist about this and about withdrawal. I am concerned myself about her not acknowledning wd. 
 

And yes, i do look up to you. As a survivor of wd and ptsd at the same time i really do. Be proud of your accomplishment! It makes me happy for you to hear How well you are doing! And it gives me Hope! @Happy2Heal

[Escitalopram21]

On 2/20/2022 at 11:04 PM, Greatful said:

 

You keep going back to the mind frame that you are sick.  Why is that?  Trauma is a not a medical illness... 

I am not sure. I do feel like i always have been ”different”. Have always made friends easily but lost them after a while.  Searching for affection and attention from the wrong people. Have a hard time following through with things. 
My mom suffers from ptsd? narcissistic traits and all of my relatives from her side has trouble with their mental health. My Uncle suffers from schizophrenia so i Guess. I have been thinking that i am ”sick” like they are.

 

”Everyone else” seems to be doing so good so I think i have been Telling myself for a long time that i need the meds to be ”normal”.

 

Thank you for the links. I definitely need to talk to my therapist about withdrawal. I already have applied for therapy funded by the government since my insurence dont cover therapy. If i dont follow through i Will loose my ”right” to therapy from government. @Greatful

[Happy2Heal]

On 2/23/2022 at 4:03 PM, Escitalopram21 said:

On 2/21/2022 at 11:26 PM, Happy2Heal said:

hypervigilance will be heightened during WD but will almost surely become manageable when you are off the drug completely.

Is hypervigilance a side effect from lex? 
Is there a list of side effects that people have experienced not just the ”official” one that comes with the drug?

 

I don't believe it is, no. 

but what does happen to many people who are coming off of lexapro, is that they start having these intense feelings of anxiety, fear, even panic.  Esp at the lower doses (under 3 mgs)

 

I think for people with a trauma history, what may happen with some of us, is that those feelings of intense fear, anxiety or panic trigger a PTSD type reaction.  It feels similar to how you feel when your PTSD has been triggered.

 

if you were not diagnosed with PTSD and have not had significant traumas in your life before going down in your dose, you may be convinced that you have PTSD. 

I think we try to find reasons for the feelings that we experience during withdrawal. They are mostly neuro emotions, caused by our brain as it heals, and not connected to anything going on in our current lives. But they can feel so intense and "real' that we try to find reasons for them. It's very scary to have feelings come out of the blue for no discernible reason and without obvious cause.

 

If you have a trauma history, you may be react to these neuro emotions differently than someone without a trauma history.  You may be able to connect the feelings of extreme anxiety and fear to the ways you felt in your past.

Just as an example, I was severely punished when I was a very young child, after being abandoned by my parents into my step grandmother's care. She was a very cruel woman. She did not want the mess that young kids sometimes make in her immaculate home. If we spilled something, there would be drastic consequences.

While I was going thru WD recovery, I noticed that I was going into an absolute panic if I dropped something on the floor, and I would rush to clean up it, fearing that I would be severely punished if I did not. This was a combination of the heightened anxiety and neuro emotions that came with as withdrawal symptoms, combined with the memory of past traumas, this is why I said that I think hypervigilance can be heightened by WD (not caused by it) - I was in a state of constant intense anxiety for many many months, and so when some tiny trigger of a trauma in my past came along, something that does not normally bother me otherwise, I reacted with panic and other PTSD symptoms.

I don't know if I'm explaining this well, but the way I see it is, the WD symptoms of anxiety, panic, dread, even frank terror, are so similar to PTSD symptoms of having your "alarm" or "alerting" system in your brain switched on, that any PTSD issues that you have had in the past or still struggle with, will become heightened during WD

 

some people with no trauma history have expressed the belief that they now have PTSD FROM withdrawal. (and I don't doubt that one bit!!)

 

 

Everyone deals with these symptoms differently. For me it was very important that I notice that at the present time, in spite of feeling great fear, panic, even utter terror- It was important for me to ground myself and to remind myself repeated that I was, at the present time SAFE and not in an danger. My neuro emotions combined with past trauma was making me feel as if something horrible must be happening or about to happen but that was NOT reality.

 

 

I hope my comments about PTSD and WD symptoms have not caused you any additional stress. I am sorry I need to preface everything I say with things like, this was my experience or these are my thoughts or beliefs.

I am by no means an expert on any of these things, I can only speak to what it was like for me.

 

On 2/23/2022 at 4:22 PM, Escitalopram21 said:

I already have applied for therapy funded by the government since my insurence dont cover therapy. If i dont follow through i Will loose my ”right” to therapy from government

is there any way for you to postpone this? esp since it is for mental health services, I would be perfectly reasonable to tell them that this is not a good time for you, that you have other things going on in your life (no reason to explain) and that you feel you would not benefit from these services at this time?

you may not want to do that, I don't know, but please know that if you talk about your WD symptoms with clinicians who do not even believe in WD symptoms, you are more than likely going to be given new diagnostic labels and be urged to take more or different drugs

 

that is how the system is set up. They primarily reach for the Rx pad and believe that they are doing the right thing for you.

 

It's up to you to decide if that's what you want.

I would strongly urge you to read The Book of Woe (sorry I forget the authors' name)  it will help you to understand more about how futile it is to try to figure out if you are 'mentally ill' or "normal".

 

The Book of Woe explains just how utterly contrived the labels used for mental health "illnesses" are- how basically a bunch of mostly men, wrote the DSM and how utterly meaningless that book is. This book does not say that mental suffering does not exist, but it does clearly shows how truly arbitrary the labels in use today are, and what societal factors went into their creation, At one time, being gay was considered a mental illness. In some of the more recent issues of the DSM, almost everyone would easily be labelled as having a mental illness of some sort. 

 

or as this shrink on the Bob Newhart show used to say, it's all a crock.

 

 

 

 

[Greatful]

@Escitalopram21How are you doing?

[Escitalopram21]

@Greatful

i am okay! I am dealing mostly with ptsd-related issues. How are you? 

[Escitalopram21]

@Happy2Heal

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the answer ❣️ Your answer is so informative and i really appreciate you taking the time to write such a kin reply. 
 

Spending time on SA has been really triggering, hence the silence from me. I read your reply and I am still digesting it. 

[Happy2Heal]

51 minutes ago, Escitalopram21 said:

@Happy2Heal

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the answer ❣️ Your answer is so informative and i really appreciate you taking the time to write such a kin reply. 
 

Spending time on SA has been really triggering, hence the silence from me. I read your reply and I am still digesting it. 

I understand completely, no need to explain but thanks for letting me know. 

it can still be triggering for me sometimes

 

you take care of yourself, that's the most important thing.

Sometimes you'll get responses that don't really connect well with where you are at in recovery. 

Just take what you can use and ignore the rest

 

 

 

 

You hang in there ok?  ❤️

 

 

 

 

[Escitalopram21]

Oh my. The nightmares are absolutely killing me. I have the most vivid superstrange dreams and feel exhausted when waking up. Havent changed my dose in many months and was doing really good until this started borhering me a month ago. Anyone can relate?

[Happy2Heal]

1 hour ago, Escitalopram21 said:

Oh my. The nightmares are absolutely killing me. I have the most vivid superstrange dreams and feel exhausted when waking up. Havent changed my dose in many months and was doing really good until this started borhering me a month ago. Anyone can relate?

wow sounds like you are living out those dreams in your sleep!

 

has anything been going on in your life that might have triggered this?

did you have a covid booster or something like that?

 

you're really good at riding the waves so you'll get thru this ok I'm sure but it is frustrating to have something like this come out of the blue

 

I was only bothered by really weird dreams those times I tapered too fast from like 30 mgs to 20 mgs to 10 to 5 to none in just a few weeks (before I found this site!!)

 

I had such severe insomnia during my last and final withdrawal that I was actually happy to even have nightmares because to me it meant I'd slept long enough to go into REM sleep. I always thought that REM sleep could be hard to get to, no idea if that's true (I should look it up but I'm being lazy today) 

anyway I rejoiced on the nights that I had any dreams at all, even bad ones, cuz at least I knew I'd been asleep

 

how has your sleep been in general?
 

I hope you're able to rest during the day after your harder nights. That should help a bit at least

 

 

 

[Greatful]

@Escitalopram21  Hi, I've been wondering how you are doing?  Are you still doing still doing trauma work?  I can relate to ptsd.....I'm having some flashbacks again.......I think they are set of by some  triggering situations going on right now........Plus I am really noticing how much more vivid emotions are now as I go down on the drugs.....

 

Are your dreams connected to your past trauma? I can remember my dreams sometimes but a lot of the time they are blurry .......I have woken up very distraught in the early mornings with feeling I am half in reality and half out out of reality...... It sure is crazy how our brains are all confused at times...... 

 

Other then the crazy dreams, how is everything else going?

 

[Escitalopram21]

@Happy2Heal i have been working a little more often with Somatic practices; supergentle ones but i still think they might be contributing? Check out Irene lyons work if you are interested.

Also been working with a Somatic experiencing practitioner whom i really like since january and its been almost 60 min of crying each time so maybe some traumas rearranging in my brain? Hopefully. Nothing else i think.

sleep in general is amazing ❤️ Sleeping 7-9h in a row 🥲 

 

Oh dear, yes i remember those times of not Knowing if beeing asleep or not, just feeling so out of it. 

[Escitalopram21]

@Greatfuli have been working with a se-practitioner since january. We had a rough start but ever since its been a blessing. We have only worked on what has come up that day but last time on monday We actually were able to go into me beeing alone in my room as a 7 y old and now that i think of it i see myself Holding Young me. Its the picture that comes up naturally now. Pretty amazing. 
 

Havent started the traumatherapy yet. Got it Approved last week after months of waiting. A little nervous of going into it even though i know that i need to do it to not fall back to meds. So its happening soon. Wish me luck. 
 

Its the same for me, the dreams are mostly blurry. i wake up with a sense of doom and having racing thoughts. It takes a few hours before i calm down but after that i am pretty ok. 
 

sorry to hear you are going through rough times ❣️ So am I. My grandmother died last week. She was 93 y old and died with my uncle Holding her hand so nothing traumatic but still. Its an end. Do i remember correcly, did you go Through a loss too? 
 

how are you handling the flashbacks? Are you still seeing your therapist? Molly?

[Happy2Heal]

37 minutes ago, Escitalopram21 said:

@Happy2Heal i have been working a little more often with Somatic practices; supergentle ones but i still think they might be contributing? Check out Irene lyons work if you are interested.

Also been working with a Somatic experiencing practitioner whom i really like since january and its been almost 60 min of crying each time so maybe some traumas rearranging in my brain? Hopefully. Nothing else i think.

sleep in general is amazing ❤️ Sleeping 7-9h in a row 🥲 

 

Oh dear, yes i remember those times of not Knowing if beeing asleep or not, just feeling so out of it. 

 

very interesting, thank you I will check out Irene Lyons work, that's what I've been looking for for some time now, somatic type therapy for trauma

 

Glad you are sleeping longer, I hope the quality of your sleep improves

 

sorry about the loss of your grandmother

[Escitalopram21]

5 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

 

sorry about the loss of your grandmother

Thank you. 
 

5 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

 

very interesting, thank you I will check out Irene Lyons work, that's what I've been looking for for some time now, somatic type therapy for trauma

Her teachings are a bit pricey but i have bought some of her drop in classes and i feel like they are doing something good to me. I have had so much more aggression in me the last few weeks but she explaines that also in some of her videos, that aggression, tension and other ”negative” feelings might increase when starting to heal your nervous system. 
 

Another work i have been looking into is a woman called awakenwithally on instagram. I purchased her traumaworkbook but can’t evaluate it yet. But she has very informative posts on instagram. 
 

hope you are doing well ❣️

[Ariel]

Hello @Escitalopram21

Thank you for sharing with such honesty and courage. My heart goes out to you for what you have been through and what you are going through. 

I am sorry for your loss. 

 

My life has been impacted by complex trauma from childhood as well as later in life. Going through withdrawal has stirred up a lot, including things I felt I'd already healed after decades of therapy. It really is true that "the body keeps the score". Withdrawal has been like a trip to the ancient history museum, showing off what a magnificent collection the body holds! Flashbacks, nightmares, sensory memories ... It's impressive (and has also been very tricky to navigate). 

 

On 2/26/2022 at 4:06 PM, Happy2Heal said:

I think for people with a trauma history, what may happen with some of us, is that those feelings of intense fear, anxiety or panic trigger a PTSD type reaction.  It feels similar to how you feel when your PTSD has been triggered.

 

I agree with what @Happy2Heal writes. This is true of my experience. Neuro-emotions in full effect, a hypersensitive, dysregulated nervous system, all leading to a conflation of past events and present physiological state, everything amplified tenfold through the magnifier of withdrawal syndrome. It can feel pretty gnarly. 

 

I'm happy to report that it gets better. From my current perspective the "trauma return" and extreme symptoms have definitely been withdrawal-related. It has been brutal; at the same time somehow revisiting it has helped me find renewed compassion for myself, given the life I've lived.

 

Sending healing vibes and all my respect for the hard work you're doing in therapy and withdrawal. You are amazing!

A.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Greatful]

@Escitalopram21  

Sorry for your loss of your grandmother.......I did lose my father and 1 brother in December.

Now we are trying to sell the family home......It is triggering a lot of trauma from childhood.

I also agree that WD morphs the the affect of trauma. The crazy things that I obsess about all come from childhood fear and uncertainty.. Our brains are even more disconnected now and having a hard time thinking with rationality. Yes I am still working with Molly.  We were doing pretty good but I went into a down ward spiral after I was back at the house a few Sundays ago.........Boy I reverted back to being scared and was the little child again.........I also thing as we go down on the emotional dulling drugs--emotions are a lot more clear and harder to deal with at times... But I also have been having flashbacks from childhood that are happy ones-----crazy right........The drugs were so dulling that I am having crisper memories from childhood (per meds) than raising my kids........Sad so now I am in mourning the losses, mourning the past, dealing with the trapped emotions from trauma and going through WD........

After I am more stable/ and not being so full of paranioa I will try trauma therapy.  I think I am going to order the book "The body keeps the score"

 

I have to ask---are you still having crazy paranoia's

 

By the way you sound so much better🤗

[Escitalopram21]

Thank you for your encouragemant @Ariel

It is truly inspiring to read your druglist and see that you are a living proof of surviving all kinds of medications!

[Escitalopram21]

Dear @Greatful

i am so sorry for your loss! I believe so hard in you, your journey has been so hard and still you are able to see the good in life and in others. 

 

Did you buy The body keeps the Score? How is it aligning with you?

I dont have the crazy paranoias of any kinds anymore. But i havent changed my dose since september. I dont know How to proceed. I have to be able to work and provide for my family so going down in my dose dont seem possible at this point in life. I got repositioned at work due to me collegues not beeing happy with my work. Oh boy, i was so proud to even be working so that hurt.
My feelings are superstrong at times and i am dissociating a lot. Also my memory is not what it used to be. Trying to juggle 20 kids at work and my free time with kids soccerpractices, Homework, parentsevenings etc is really hard, i forget about 30% of what i would need to remember. BUT i am functioning someehat.

Yes, i am better. I enjoy the small things in life most days. 
 

How are you? ❣️