Amber83: Mirtazapine withdrawal, please help!!!

[Amber83]

I’ve always been an anxious person. However when my mum was getting diagnosed with lung cancer I hit an all time low April 2019. I had resisted antidepressants for years but felt maybe that was the time I needed to take them to try and help me cope with my mums diagnosis and what was to be a horrible journey leading to her death in August 2020. 
I tried citalopram first which didn’t go well, I ended up in A&E several times. My anxiety was so bad I couldn’t sit still, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, was Suicidal. It truly was the worst time of my life. Finally saw a psychiatrist after two weeks of no doctor being able to help me and drugging me up to the eyeballs with diazepam, zopiclone amongst other things. The citalopram was the problem and I was swapped to mirtazapine. Things got better and I managed to cope and support my mum until she passed. 
Mirtazapine numbed me, made my relationships with my 4 year old and partner difficult as I felt enraging anger everyday. I gained 3 stone and felt like a zombie most of the time. 
I decided mirtazapine was no longer helping me, it was making my life grieving and living more difficult so I decided to start tapering. 
I think I started around January 2020. 7 weeks to drop from 30mg - 15mg 

4-8 weeks at 15mg 

7 weeks to drop to 7.5mg 

4 - 8 weeks at 7.5mg 

Then kept missing doses till I got to 0mg over about two weeks. 
After 3-4 days of taking 0mg of Mirtazapine I started to feel exhausted ill and my stomach felt terrible. With increasing levels of nausea and spells of anxiety and crying. 
I then caught COVID-19 and so for 10 days isolated feeling very ill. Nausea and anxiety increased and now at 4 weeks I’m not coping at all. 
I feel so sick I’m barely eating and dry heaving. Trouble sleeping although I am getting at least 5 hours a night. I’m so anxious, thoughts of my mum dying, cancer, feeling so nauseous. I’m feeling suicidal as I can’t cope any longer. 
First of all is this truely withdrawal and how long will this last? 
do I need to be on another antidepressant for the rest of my life?!?! 

[getofflex]

Hello Amber, and welcome to SA. We are a peer owned and run forum of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I'm very sorry about the loss of your mum, and about you getting COVID during withdrawal.  You've been through the wringer.  Did you mean to say you started your mirtazapine taper in Jan 2021?  All that you are describing sound like classic symptoms of withdrawal from psychiatric drugs.  No, I seriously doubt you need an antidepressant for the rest of your life.  I believe your symptoms are mainly due to a too fast taper off mirtazapine, possibly still some effects from the citalopram, recovering from COVID, and the grief of losing your mom.  That is a heck of a lot for anyone to be dealing with at once.  

 

Can you please give us specific information about your drug history for all drugs you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your drugs in a concise list (no symptoms), only drug names, specific dates (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day) and dosages of each medication decrease or increase.  Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

 

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

Here is some information about how these drugs actually work.  

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

 Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

What is Happening in Your Brain

 

 

Also, as we are recovering, we suggest keeping things slow, simple, and stable. 

 

Keep it Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

 

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

I've given you quite a bit of information here.  When we know more about your specific drug history, we can advise you.  In the mean time, hang in there, you have come to the right place.  Eventually, this will resolve itself, with proper self care, time, and patience.