Violets: Fully recovered from severe form of PSSD after two years

[Violets]

Violets Escitalopram Lexapro Cipralex Protracted Withdrawal

 

Hello everyone,

I have been thinking of posting a success story for a while, and after some questions in my private messages, I have decided to return here to give some hope to the ones that are suffering with PSSD. 

Here is an excerpt from my original post about my experience back in 2019: 

"I started on 2,5mg escitalopram in december 2018 for GAD and severe depression by my GP. I gradually increased the dose up to 7,5mg and was on this dose for a couple of weeks (until january 7th) I then decided to taper down again, as the drug made me careless, emotionally numb, impaired my cognition and significantly decreased my libido. So I stopped it after 2 months (last 2,5mg pill taken 8th of february).

 

Since stopping I suffered two weeks of acute physical withdrawal (flu-like symptoms, nausea, dizziness etc) but I thought that it would be over and I would go back to «normal», but now it is clear to me that I also suffer from protracted withdrawal and the symptoms are scary and debilitating. I suffer from parasthesia, brain zaps, tinnitus, severe derealization, emotional numbness and extreme apathy to a point where I can’t force myself to get up and eat. I feel completely braindead and my cognition is ruined, the past month has gone by in a haze and I can’t remember or recollect much of it. This is extremely terrifying and almost worse than the original depression. I feel dead, even though I’m alive."
______________________

I am happy to share that since then, I have pretty much recovered. From the very long list of symptoms that I suffered (anhedonia, complete apathy/avolition, complete emotional numbness (NO emotions at all), no feelings of hunger, no libido, full genital and nipple anesthesia, severe cognitive disfunction, muscle aches/wastage, changed hair structure, dry skin, no sweating, tinnitus, visual disturbances (some visual snow/unclear vision/focus), gum health issues, high pulse/breathing issues leading up to a week long hospital stay), I now only have one or two of those symptoms left, which are pretty minor anyways. That is some decrease in libido, as well as permanent tinnitus (barely noticeable), which are pretty insignificant at a greater scale of things.

 

It took me about three months after cessation to start experience tiny improvements and it took me almost a year to start feeling somewhat like myself emotionally. The first thing to improve was my cognition, which started improving after about 3 months, then the anhedonia started to lift around the 6 month-mark, together with some of the physical symptoms. The emotional and the sexual dysfunctions were the last to go and improved majorly at the 1-1,5 year mark. I must note that I haven't taken any medications or specific supplements (other than some B-vitamins and Omega 3) ever since my horror experience with Lexapro and I am not planning on doing so either. Therefore, I do consider my "recovery" natural. 

Anyways, now, after three years, I think it is safe to say that I am fully recovered and I am mostly back to my "old" self. I have since graduated at my university, gotten to experience amazing new things and places and also managed to find a loving partner. Even though life still gets hard at times (like it does for the most of us), and I still have days where the depression rears its ugly head, I now have found ways to deal with it, knowing it's only temporary. I also feel like this entire PSSD-experience has made me a lot more resilient and I want people in a similar situation to know, that there is definitely hope, no matter how many symptoms they experience and how hopeless it might feel at the moment.  

Best,
Violets 

Edited March 27, 2022 by getofflex

[getofflex]

Violet, thank you for posting your success story!  I'm very happy to hear that you have recovered from this.  Your story will give hope to many people who come in here.  Congratulations on graduating and finding a loving partner!  

[christianjw12]

Hi @Violets, congratulations !!

Our story is very similar, I took Lexapro (5 then 10mg) for about 3 months then I stoppee in April 2020. I have exactly the same symptoms as yours except PSSD (which I'm lucky). I'm also currently having tinnitus which is not so noticeable during days but more noticeable at nights when I'm alone in my room. Did you recover in 2 years or 3 years ?

[Violets]

Hello, @christianjw12!

 

Thank you! I would say that it took me two years to return to «normal». I still have tinnitus as well, but as I mentioned, it is so insignificant, that I only notice it

sometimes. How are you doing now? Have you had any improvements so far? 

[Knosretep]

@Violets Thank you for returning to write a success story.  I read your thread and you were so sure that you'd never recover; I'm glad to see that you were wrong and that there's hope even when we don't think it will happen for us.

[christianjw12]

22 hours ago, Violets said:

Hello, @christianjw12!

 

Thank you! I would say that it took me two years to return to «normal». I still have tinnitus as well, but as I mentioned, it is so insignificant, that I only notice it

sometimes. How are you doing now? Have you had any improvements so far? 

 

Hi again @Violets, I'm not too bad, I'm at 23 months off (next month will be the 2 year mark).

At the moment, I'm experiencing :

- muscle aches near my left shoulder (I'm not sure if it's related to withdrawal but the pain comes and goes and it's not too intense so it's not so disabling).

- tinnitus (it started one month ago and I find no explanation for this except withdrawal, it's not too intense, and it comes and goes as well). But when it's here, it stays for weeks.

- internal tremors when I wake up in the morning, I feel a very very minor movement inside my head.

- zaps (brain and around my neck, feeling of electricity)

 

[Violets]

I am glad that you are seeing improvements,@christianjw12! Some symptoms do take longer time to resolve than others, but I'm sure you'll get there eventually

[eileen1111]

Hi @Violets , I’m so glad you’re feeling almost back to normal. I was wondering when the derealisation and visual disturbances cleared up for you, or improved to feel manageable? 
x

[curiousnootropics]

Congratulations! Hope to be there some day. In hell at the moment. You did not take any vitamins/minerals/supplements during withdrawal?

[Violets]

@eileen1111 Thank you! I would say that most physical symptoms improved within the first year for me, as well as the DP/DR, which gradually went away together with anhedonia. 

Thanks, @curiousnootropics! I'm sorry to hear that things are bad for you at the moment, hopefully things will improve for you soon as well. I did not really stick to any specific supplement-regimen, I only took some omega-3 and basic multivitamins sporadically. 

[DaBro]

Congratulations @Violets  2-3 years of WD for 2-3 months on the SSRI must be incredibly frustrating. It shows how quickly these drugs alter the brain and how long it takes for everything to grow back and reset inside our heads, but it happens. Congratulations on your patience and positivity and recovery success. 

[Avicii]

Amazing story, sounds like my own…I only took SSRI for 4 months and now 14 months of I still have severe PSSD. Shrunk penis, legs hurts, numb genitals and so on. Great to hear that you healed, it gives me strength to carry on!

[Violets]

I'm sorry to hear that, @Avicii, it can be hard to deal with all of those horrible symptoms. I hope you will improve with time, it's still not too late or impossible.   

[Fairsome]

Really inspiring story! I suffer from almost the same symptoms you mentioned and it gives me a lot of hope that I will eventually recover from them.

 

Just one question - at what percent would you consider your PSSD recovery in comparison to pre-SSRI levels as you still say there is some decrease in libido?

[Reshan30]

Tears filled my eyes reading this as seeing this gives me continued hope! I don't know whether I'm suffering from the same thing or if this horrible drug Paroxetine has ruined my immune system. I feel like I'm having an immune response to this drug from quitting cold turkey! I've since got back on it & some of the symptoms have gone away but I my hair is not growing, and my scars aren't healing like they have in the best despite using creams, etc. When I got back on the drug I noticed visual changes and still notice them like I can see but vision is a little off I can't explain it. Thanks for sharing your recovery. This gives me hope.  

[WithdrawalWarrior]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I am 13 months off of a cold turkey Lexapro withdrawal and have experienced every one of your symptoms to an extreme degree. Even though I feel like I turned a corner at the 1 year mark, it still gets dark from time to time and it helps to see this. Thank you! ❤️

[Reshan30]

On 4/21/2022 at 9:22 PM, WithdrawalWarrior said:

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I am 13 months off of a cold turkey Lexapro withdrawal and have experienced every one of your symptoms to an extreme degree. Even though I feel like I turned a corner at the 1 year mark, it still gets dark from time to time and it helps to see this. Thank you! ❤️

Tears filled my eyes reading this as seeing this gives me continued hope! I don't know whether I'm suffering from the same thing or if this horrible drug Paroxetine has ruined my immune system. I feel like I'm having an immune response to this drug from quitting cold turkey! I've since got back on it & some of the symptoms have gone away but I my hair is not growing, and my scars aren't healing like they have in the best despite using creams, etc. When I got back on the drug I noticed visual changes and still notice them like I can see but vision is a little off I can't explain it. Thanks for sharing your recovery. This gives me hope.  

 

Really? Everyone of them? I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with these symptoms. I just hope that I'm able to make a full recovery and get off the drugs completely. I just want to be healthy again. 

[Reshan30]

Really? Everyone of them? I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with these symptoms. I just hope that I'm able to make a full recovery and get off the drugs completely. I just want to be healthy again. 

[Kristyb1130]

On 3/22/2022 at 9:36 PM, Violets said:

Violets Escitalopram Lexapro Cipralex Protracted Withdrawal

 

Hello everyone,

I have been thinking of posting a success story for a while, and after some questions in my private messages, I have decided to return here to give some hope to the ones that are suffering with PSSD. 

Here is an excerpt from my original post about my experience back in 2019: 

"I started on 2,5mg escitalopram in december 2018 for GAD and severe depression by my GP. I gradually increased the dose up to 7,5mg and was on this dose for a couple of weeks (until january 7th) I then decided to taper down again, as the drug made me careless, emotionally numb, impaired my cognition and significantly decreased my libido. So I stopped it after 2 months (last 2,5mg pill taken 8th of february).

 

Since stopping I suffered two weeks of acute physical withdrawal (flu-like symptoms, nausea, dizziness etc) but I thought that it would be over and I would go back to «normal», but now it is clear to me that I also suffer from protracted withdrawal and the symptoms are scary and debilitating. I suffer from parasthesia, brain zaps, tinnitus, severe derealization, emotional numbness and extreme apathy to a point where I can’t force myself to get up and eat. I feel completely braindead and my cognition is ruined, the past month has gone by in a haze and I can’t remember or recollect much of it. This is extremely terrifying and almost worse than the original depression. I feel dead, even though I’m alive."
______________________

I am happy to share that since then, I have pretty much recovered. From the very long list of symptoms that I suffered (anhedonia, complete apathy/avolition, complete emotional numbness (NO emotions at all), no feelings of hunger, no libido, full genital and nipple anesthesia, severe cognitive disfunction, muscle aches/wastage, changed hair structure, dry skin, no sweating, tinnitus, visual disturbances (some visual snow/unclear vision/focus), gum health issues, high pulse/breathing issues leading up to a week long hospital stay), I now only have one or two of those symptoms left, which are pretty minor anyways. That is some decrease in libido, as well as permanent tinnitus (barely noticeable), which are pretty insignificant at a greater scale of things.

 

It took me about three months after cessation to start experience tiny improvements and it took me almost a year to start feeling somewhat like myself emotionally. The first thing to improve was my cognition, which started improving after about 3 months, then the anhedonia started to lift around the 6 month-mark, together with some of the physical symptoms. The emotional and the sexual dysfunctions were the last to go and improved majorly at the 1-1,5 year mark. I must note that I haven't taken any medications or specific supplements (other than some B-vitamins and Omega 3) ever since my horror experience with Lexapro and I am not planning on doing so either. Therefore, I do consider my "recovery" natural. 

Anyways, now, after three years, I think it is safe to say that I am fully recovered and I am mostly back to my "old" self. I have since graduated at my university, gotten to experience amazing new things and places and also managed to find a loving partner. Even though life still gets hard at times (like it does for the most of us), and I still have days where the depression rears its ugly head, I now have found ways to deal with it, knowing it's only temporary. I also feel like this entire PSSD-experience has made me a lot more resilient and I want people in a similar situation to know, that there is definitely hope, no matter how many symptoms they experience and how hopeless it might feel at the moment.  

Best,
Violets 

Wow I had a very similar story on Lexapro 

[Whit22]

When would you say your sleep got better ? I’m sleeping 1-3 hours a night and never feel tired. I also have no thirst or hunger signals and I’m hoping those get better soon as well. This is all so scary 

[Varnadam23]

@Violets Can I ask like what the hell did you do in the first few months to get through this? Like how did you explain this to those around you. How did you work, maintain your living space, pay for bills etc....nobody in my family understands they just think I'm depressed....