MidnightEpiphany: escitalopram - setbacks and hope for recovery

[MidnightEpiphany]

Hello all, 

 

I am currently undergoing Escitalopram withdrawal.
 

My journey with ADs began in my 20’s. Even though I was a moody teenager that experienced depression, I was able to manage my symptoms until I reached my college years. Because of experimenting with MDMA (terrible mistake), I landed in a deep depression and was put on Zoloft in late 2018. I didn’t like how it made me feel and discontinued it for a few months. I was  put on Escitalopram 10mg in April 2019 and I took it fully until January 2022 (~2 years 8 months).
 

I began tapering in January 2022 and ended by February 2022. I felt fine (or so I thought!) until May when I began birth control that brought on depression and anxiety. I think the hormones triggered my sensitive CNS. I stopped the birth control in late June as soon as I realized it was big source the feelings and began feeling better - I felt a window of hope for two weeks in early July 2022. 

 

However, I later made the mistake of thinking I was recovered and drank wine two days in a row. This caused a crazy spike in anxiety the following morning. (Through this wonderful site, I now realize that is mistake and will now stay away from alcohol). That same July morning I had a tough conversation with my partner where he expressed his sadness at seeing me so emotionally distraught for months on end. For his sake and mine, I wanted to be better so badly — I spoke to a telehealth nurse practitioner and got a prescription for 5mg lexapro. Despite being AD free for 5 months, I took it in desperation. 
 

I quickly realized I made a mistake and I didn’t want to reinstate antidepressants. I only took that one dose of 5mg. When I took it I felt my anxiety lift slightly and was ok, but the following day I felt extreme morning fatigue, some nausea and anxiety again. It’s now been a week since the 5mg dose: my head hurts, I’m tired, and I feel anxious/sad. I’m catastrophizing everything. 
 

I’m worried I undid all the progress I made because of that one 5mg pill. Do you think I am kindled due to the brief reinstatement or is this a continuation of the withdrawal?
 

I am concerned that my recovery may be prolonged due to the reinstatement mistake but I’m hopeful. All I can do is hope to heal by continuing exercise, going to therapy, and abstaining from alcohol. 
 

Thank you all for the work you do here. You’re amazing people. 

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  Congratulations for getting off of Lexapro!  I believe that you are correct in that the birth control pill, and the alcohol ramped up your symptoms due to a sensitized nervous system.  The best thing you can do for yourself is avoid these things.  Other things that can ramp up your symptoms are certain antibiotics, any type of mind altering substance or drug, hormones, eating too much sugar or salt, MSG, aspartame, caffeine, junk and processed food, too intense of exercise.  I've found I have to treat my nervous system with kid gloves while I'm recovering from Lexapro myself.  It is one hell of a powerful drug.  

 

Can you please give us specific information in your signature about your drug history for all drugs you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your drugs in a concise vertical list (no symptoms), only drug names, specific dates (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day) and dosages of each medication decrease or increase.  Use this format:

 

Drug name: date, dose, date, dose, date, dose…

Drug name: date, dose, date, dose, date, dose…

Etcetera

 

Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

 

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications.

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

I know you are worried about having kindled your system, and undoing all your progress from that one 5 mg tablet.  I doubt this is the case.  Has it ramped up your symptoms?  I think if you stay away from all the things I mentioned at the beginning, and take good care of yourself using natural means, you are going to recover and be fine.  It will take a lot of time, and you may have some waves.  The keys are patience, time, and perseverance.