LegoLisa: Pristiq and Buspar

[LegoLisa]

It hasn't changed.  It's pretty much the same.

[Altostrata]

Please continue to post daily notes.

[LegoLisa]

10/4/22

745 am - woke up with less anxiety and fewer physical symptoms.  Received stressful email from work which shot my anxiety up. 

11am - decided I'd had enough of my toxic job slowing my healing and resigned.  Some anxiety and panic 

200pm - experienced some overwhelming physical anxiety and had crying spell.

900pm - took 50mg Pristiq and 15 mg buspar.  Was supposed to take at 6pm but was out and forgot to bring meds with me.  Plan to continue tomorrow at 6pm.

1100pm - headed to bed. Experiencing intrusive thoughts, second guessing myself and unable to settle down to sleep.

[LegoLisa]

Oct 5

11am - woke up to joint pain and chest tightness.  Got up and showered and felt a little better.  

Noon - therapy appointment.  Going thru family drama so needed to discuss that and anxiety was up 

100pm - anxiety still up. Dad came to visit which upped anxiety.

300pm - went to store.  Irrational thoughts and waves of anxiety.

600pm - 50mg Pristiq/15mg  Buspar.

700pm - irrational thoughts.  Waves of anxiety.

[Altostrata]

If I were you, I'd move Buspar up an hour each day until you are taking it at noon.

 

How do you feel before and after each drug dose? Please include your sleep pattern in your daily notes.

[LegoLisa]

My sleep patterns don't change.  I usually fall asleep within 2 hours and sleep thru the night.  I get up maybe once or twice to use the bathroom.  But I fall back to sleep.

 

I'm usually going thru waves during the day so before I take the meds I'm usually having anxiety.  My windows come late afternoon or early evening so after meds I'm usually ok.  

[Altostrata]

Please include your symptom waves and sleep pattern in your daily notes.

[LegoLisa]

I can do that.  My symptom waves are pretty steady every day though.

 

 

 

My sleep patterns don't change.  I usually fall asleep within 2 hours and sleep thru the night.  I get up maybe once or twice to use the bathroom.  But I fall back to sleep.

 

I'm usually going thru waves during the day so before I take the meds I'm usually having anxiety.  My windows come late afternoon or early evening so after meds I'm usually ok.  

[LegoLisa]

Is there a possibility that outside stress can make withdrawal more intense? I quit my toxic job yesterday.

[ChessieCat]

Yes.  Any stress, even "good" stress, eg going on holiday, a celebration, might cause withdrawal symptoms to worsen.

 

A toxic job is stressful but so is making the decision whether to quit or not.  And now that you have quit, if you don't have another job to go to and might be worried about how you are going to cope financially and/or when can you find another job, these are also stressors.

[ChessieCat]

It is also important to understand that stress itself, even in a person who is not going through withdrawal, has an impact on the body and produce symptoms.

 

You could do an internet search (not SA search) for the effect of stress on the body.

[LegoLisa]

I'm ok with quitting. I wouldn't have if I wasn't in a position to do it financially.  It was more stressful because I felt like a failure.

[LegoLisa]

I think if I get another job without the financial stress I might feel less pressure and more apt to enjoy the job whatever it may be.  I'm just concerned about wonky withdrawal symptoms popping up whenever I start a new job 

[LegoLisa]

Slept ok during night.  Just usual getting up to go to bathroom.

 

10/6 - 7am woke up.  No anxiety symptoms just very tired.

9am - on road for 3 day getaway.  Anxiety spike in car. Intrusive thoughts.

11am - call with Baylissa Frederick - anxiety went down

100pm - some anxiety/intrusive thoughts

500pm - Pristiq 50mg/15mg buspar - surge of nervousness and became a little irritable and felt nervous energy

615 pm - feel better

809pm - took mile long walk. Feel better.

 

 

[Altostrata]

It sounds like maybe you might take more long walks. 

 

Reminder:

 

On 10/5/2022 at 4:21 PM, Altostrata said:

If I were you, I'd move Buspar up an hour each day until you are taking it at noon.

 

How do you feel before and after each drug dose? Please include your sleep pattern in your daily notes.

 

[LegoLisa]

Ive been moving buspar and Pristiq up hour each day 

Walks do help.  I walk around my neighborhood too when I can.  Not sure what to I will in winter weather.

 

I notice I am better when sun goes down. I like the sun and will spend time outside during day but night I am always fine.  Intrusive thoughts lessen and I can deal with them.  Anxiety symptoms almost disappear.

 

Mornings have always been bad for me since I was a kid.  I'm sure that has something to do with it.  I got teased in grade school and that was when I started not wanting to go to school.  My mom would get angry and fight with me in the morning.  So from then on mornings have been bad. Even on days off.  I always have thoughts of all the mistakes I've made or things I feel guilty about (mostly stuff I shouldn't feel guilty for) on a loop in my head mornings but since tapering celexa in November it's gotten debilitating and it happens thru the day now.  

 

I can't function during the day sometimes like this. And the panic and crying spells happen throughout the day.  

Today my inner critic was really bad. It tells me I'm scum and garbage. I try to tune it out but somedays I just cry.  

 Thanks for listening and helping.

[LegoLisa]

10/6

Slept ok. Didn't wake up except to use bathroom.

10/7 

10am - woke up tired

12pm - intrusive thoughts, panic. Went to restaurant with husband and cried a little in the bathroom. Talked to my husband and Ate and felt better.

230pm - intrusive thoughts, panic. Very bad inner critic calling me a scum and a b****.  Wanting to sacrifice my life for my husband. No suicidal ideation just believe my husband would be better without me. Memory is getting worse along with eyesight 

330pm - felt weak and rubbery in legs

400pm - 50mg Pristiq/15mg buspar - felt tired and sleepy. 

500pm - ate dinner and felt better.

600pm - panic coming in quick spurts

800pm - tired, blurry vision

Some anxiety about waking up feeling panic.  

[Altostrata]

On 10/6/2022 at 5:39 PM, LegoLisa said:

Ive been moving buspar and Pristiq up hour each day 

 

The idea was to separate Buspar and Pristiq, so you're not taking them together. The suggestion was to move Buspar only.

[LegoLisa]

4 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

The idea was to separate Buspar and Pristiq, so you're not taking them together. The suggestion was to move Buspar only.

I guess I misunderstood. 

[LegoLisa]

I give up anyway.  My life is going to be hell no matter what I do

[Altostrata]

If Pristiq makes you sleepy, suggest moving it back to before bedtime.

[LegoLisa]

1 minute ago, Altostrata said:

If Pristiq makes you sleepy, suggest moving it back to before bedtime.

It doesn't make me sleepy.  I'm going to move it back to before bed. I'm continuing moving buspar up an hour every day.  I had a really bad day today. I'm feeling hopeless.

 

[Altostrata]

Is feeling hopeless a longstanding habit of mind?

[LegoLisa]

7 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Is feeling hopeless a longstanding habit of mind?

I've had issues with it in the past.  However I don't know if that's because I've been on and off meds for so long.  Right now the hopelessness I feel is existential dread like I've never had before.

[Altostrata]

What do you mean by existential dread?

[LegoLisa]

Questioning my existence and if I have a reason to live.  Finding myself uninterested in things I used to love.  Feeling hopeless.

[LegoLisa]

The attachment explains it really well

[Altostrata]

@LegoLisa I urge you to pull yourself out of this. If we could fix it via peer support on the Web, we would, but this is something you'll have to do for yourself. You might want to try these techniques:

 

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals 

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

 

Coping with irritation, anger and rage

 

For example, you may want to take a walk every day (gentle exercise is important to healing your nervous system) and take photos of things you see that you like, are funny, pretty colors, etc. or pets or people. Then, when you feel low, look at your photos. This can give you some relief and remind yourself that it's not all bad, even for a few minutes. You need to get into the habit of encouraging yourself, not discouraging yourself.

[LegoLisa]

39 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

@LegoLisa I urge you to pull yourself out of this. If we could fix it via peer support on the Web, we would, but this is something you'll have to do for yourself. You might want to try these techniques:

 

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals 

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

 

Coping with irritation, anger and rage

 

For example, you may want to take a walk every day (gentle exercise is important to healing your nervous system) and take photos of things you see that you like, are funny, pretty colors, etc. or pets or people. Then, when you feel low, look at your photos. This can give you some relief and remind yourself that it's not all bad, even for a few minutes. You need to get into the habit of encouraging yourself, not discouraging yourself.

That's the problem. I hate myself and self care feels undeserved.  I know not caring for myself will make my recovery longer and harder on everyone in my life.  I don't know how to move past this. I've tried a lot of the techniques you provided. I wind up slipping back into the same self hatred.  I wind up telling myself I deserve the pain I'm in because I'm garbage.  I'm in therapy and have people in my life who love me.  I wish I knew how to fix this. 😭

[Altostrata]

@LegoLisa these are not withdrawal symptoms, we're not qualified to provide the therapeutic support you need for these symptoms.

[LegoLisa]

I know they are not.  These are just issues I have besides withdrawal. However I have read WD can cause guilt and shame.

[Altostrata]

Was guilt and shame always a problem for you? If so, it's not a withdrawal symptom. Did taking Celexa cause this to go away?

 

Since you had a series of adverse reactions to antidepressants, they may not be a solution for you again. All we can do is encourage you to address these symptoms, we cannot provide therapy or make them go away. Aside from psychotherapy, this is what we suggest 

 

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

 

 

[LegoLisa]

 

They have because of the way I was raised. However I have read in places on this forum that WD can heighten guilt with Neuro emotions.  I guess the Celexa helped to an extent but I believe I was in tolerance withdrawal and was not fully myself because of that 

 

 

[LegoLisa]

The link you sent says withdrawal magnifies these feelings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They have because of the way I was raised. However I have read in places on this forum that WD can heighten guilt with Neuro emotions.  I guess the Celexa helped to an extent but I believe I was in tolerance withdrawal and was not fully myself because of that 

 

 

[Altostrata]

5 minutes ago, LegoLisa said:

They have because of the way I was raised.

 

You're not taking the drug anymore and your longstanding habit of mind has come back. Withdrawal may magnify this, but it's your historical issues that need to be addressed.

 

Whatever you want to attribute it to, you'll need to find the strength within yourself to address it. We cannot suggest any simple remedy for longstanding habits of mind.

[LegoLisa]

I know you can't.  Im just scared and don't know if I'm going to make it thru all this.